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From: Unobtrusive <menchi1@bigpond.com>
Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.d
References: <54403asstr$1156741802@assm.asstr.org>
Subject: Re: {ASSM} Getting it right: finally (rape, violence, wife, revenge, wimp husband
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Date: Mon, 28 Aug 2006 12:20:32 +0000
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===================
"bud english" <nyminus@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:54403asstr$1156741802@assm.asstr.org...
> Story : Getting it right: finally (rape, violence, wife, revenge, wimp
> husband)
>
> This is a story orginally published on another site by a " writer" that
> calls himself Noah frog. The first part is what thiis purveyor of brutal
> humiliation porn the second is my answer to Noafrog. Noafrog in my
> estimation is a weak , lilly livered control freak, who doesn't have the
> balls to practice in real life what he writes about. To all those of you
> who enjoy this kind of rape and humiliation and wimp cuckold husbands.
> This is for you . I hope you enjoy the reality.
Firstly, while I don't agree with or enjoy the original story, I also don't
agree with yours.
Everyone has fantasies, whether they are of rape, cuckolding, animals,
double-teaming, children, or whatever else floats your boat.
To accuse someone who has written a fantasy as not having the "balls to
practice in real life what he writes about" is not only stupid, but
dangerous.
Would you tell that to someone who writes snuff fantasies? No. Someone who
writes about kidnapping a child & raping them senseless? No. Neither you,
nor I, would attempt goading someone into such stupidity. So don't do it
here.
Likewise, don't complain about someone's fantasies; I found more problems
with the grammar, continuity, and spelling of Noah Frog's creation than the
topic. The same again applies for yourself.
> The real and final end. I like my ending much better...What do you
> think.
I think it should have been spell-checked, and more detail was needed in the
character development during John's stay in jail. Likewise, the story could
have held more entertainment if you had spent more time expressing the
dichotomy that both John and his wife would have felt within the entire
period, maybe with Heather so conflicted about her feelings during and after
the "rape" that she only knocks Eddie unconscious, rather than destroying
that part of her husband's friend that brought her to orgasm.
After calling the police to gain a respite from her inner conflict of
lust/hatred/longing/pain, she watches emotionlessly while both her husband
and his friend are led away by SVU officers. After a few days of
counselling, Heather skips the program and calls Eddie, letting him know
that she wants to meet him for "negotiations". To John's everlasting horror,
Heather pays for Eddie to have bail, leaving her husband to the predations
of the justice system. Having settled on the decision that since she enjoyed
his rape, she must love the destruction of self that comes from such an act,
she becomes Eddie's submissive partner in a BDSM relationship, while still
holding control of his bail money.
Eddie ends up becoming a mixture of fuck-toy and dominating master to
Heather, who ends up bearing him a child, who Eddie looks after the times
he's not drunk. As Heather descends further into her own self-depreciating
madness, she encourages Eddie to rape their child one night while he is
drunk. The resulting realisation of this while he is sober forces Eddie to
enter a depraved cycle of denial and longing, forcing his alcoholism into
further entrenchment while he seeks to escape his enjoyment of his actions.
All this while, the rage of his own abandonment by both wife and friend
mixes with John's own inner conflict; he enjoyed watching his wife's rape
while at the same time feeling a natural rage and need to protect her. The
two act as catalysts for each other, and the reaction is that John kills one
inmate with his bare hands while being anally raped in his holding cell. The
trial is jumped forward due to the severity of the crime; murder 2 is
settled on, and John looks to serve a long period inside. Between his
physical labour and intermittent fighting against inmates, John beefs out to
an impressive size, becoming more aggravating and eventually enjoying the
destruction of his cell's neighbours and wardens alike as an antisocial
psychosis grasps him fully. Another, well connected and still unarrested
party manages to secure bail for John in exchange for John working as a
part-time hit man against such enemies the powerful man would have.
To end the scene, John would kill his "employer", and while running from
both mafia and police alike, searches for and finds his wife and friend,
entering battle with both who suddenly without background have learned
chinese-style kung-fu. John ends up defeating both, and the cops, and the
mafia, in a true tribute to "Kill Bill". Finally, before escaping, John
discovers his wife's child, and takes the little one in to bring them up in
a better land; the land of "Mexico". The camera fades on the duo as they
cross the border.
Roll credits.
--U