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From: Incest Man <familyincestfamilyincest@yahoo.com>
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Subject: story: "The Adventures of Me and Martha Jane" (bf mF mF+) Part 7D
Date: Sat, 12 Aug 2006 14:12:10 -0700
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http://www.incesttabooo.com/mathaj.html

The Adventures of Me and Martha Jane

Part 7D

Mom convulsed into a tight ball on  her  side  and  retched
quietly, weakly, making a small sticky  red  stain  in  the
Kleenex she held to her mouth.  Then  she  relaxed  with  a
pitiful moan.

"What's wrong?"  I asked, going swiftly to her side of  the
bed.

She licked her lips clean and tried to  catch  her  breath.
Not  getting  an  answer,  I  raised  my  voice  fearfully.
"What's wrong?  What happened?"

"I'm sick, Speedy.  It came on...all of a sudden."

"What's wrong?  When did it start?"

"Called your daddy...but he said he had to work late."

I was incensed at her words.   "Had  to  work  late?   Work
late?  What does he expect you to do, just stay sick?"

"Well, I don't know...maybe it'll just clear up."

"How long have you been sick?"

She shrugged, taking in a deep breath and wiping  her  lips
again.  "A couple of hours, I guess."

"You've been sick for hours and he just says he has to work
late?"  I threw up my hands in anger and walked in a small,
confused circle in the room and looked  back  down  at  her
with my eyes flaring.  "What can I do?"

She shook her head.  She hid her face from me and  did  not
seem to want to tell  me  what  was  happening.   "I  don't
know...Call your daddy, and see what he says."

I went straight to the kitchen wall  phone  and  telephoned
the grocery store.  My step dad answered the phone  with  a
tired, bored voice.

"Mama's real sick," I said.  "She's throwing up blood."

"Hell, it's one of those female things, she's been sick  to
her stomach and throwing up for weeks."

"But she's throwing up blood!"   I  insisted.   "You  don't
throw up blood when you're just sick to your stomach."

"I told you, it's one of those female things.  That kind of
stuff is all in their minds, anyway."

"Well...what should I do?"

"Don't do anything," he answered,  unconcerned.   "I'll  be
home in about an hour or  two.   Tell  her  to  drink  some
water."

"But...she's acting like it hurts really bad."

"You know how she is, she overdoes everything.  Tell her to
drink some water or some soda, and I'll be home later."

His indifference told me I was wasting my time.  I  said  I
would look after Mom, said good-bye and ran back  into  the
bedroom  where  I  stood  beside  the  bed,  helpless   and
frustrated.

"He said drink some water and he'll be home later."

"I can't drink water,"  Mom  said,  her  breath  short  and
labored.  "I tried that, it came right up."  Then she  made
a retching sound again, down deep in her throat, and  tried
to hold back.  But another convulsion soon overtook her and
she coiled up again, her neck stretching in a fierce  heave
outward, and more blood spilled onto the  tissue  and  onto
the bedspread.  This time she did not simply moan and  come
out of it, but bent herself into a small  trembling  circle
and grasped her stomach and began to cry and cough.

I touched her shoulder, but did not know what to  do.   She
heaved again, and groaned, and finally relaxed.

"Mom...What can I do?"

She hid her face but reached out with one hand and  grabbed
my arm tightly.  Her fingers trembled and her  entire  form
shivered.  She spoke with a breathless rasp, "Go  down  the
street...to Aunt Catherine's.  I tried to call her, but her
line's busy...bring her here."

My Aunt Catherine was one of my  step-dad's  sisters.   She
lived in a house a few doors down from ours.   Quickly,  my
fear for my Mom's pain giving me a  bloodcurdling  case  of
the shakes, I ran to the front door.

"Put your  jacket  on!"   my  mother  yelled.   "It's  cold
outside!"

I thought: to hell with the damn jacket!  I rushed into the
night and ran up the street as fast as  I  could.   By  the
time I pounded on Aunt Catherine's front door I was out  of
breath.  I tried not to panic.  I told  Aunt  Catherine  to
get to my house as fast as  she  could,  that  my  Mom  was
deathly sick and it was getting worse.

She stood in the  doorway  gaping  at  me.   "Why,  Speedy,
what's wrong?"

"I don't know.  She needs somebody.  Hurry!"

"But what's the-- -?"

"Now!  She needs somebody now!"

Quickly she grabbed her overcoat and threw it loosely  over
her shoulders.  "You stay here," she said, trying  to  calm
both herself and me.  "Watch my baby, Speedy, I can't leave
her here alone.  I'm goin' down there right now, don't  you
worry."  And she ran down the sidewalk with her loose  coat
flapping in the wind.

I watched Aunt Catherine's sleeping infant for over half an
hour.  Several times I peeked out the  front  door  to  see
what might be happening down the street at my house.   Then
an ambulance with flashing lights pulled into our driveway.
I longed to get a closer look but was afraid to  leave  the
baby alone.  Going back to check on the child I  found  her
still sleeping, and by the time I  returned  to  the  front
door, two whiteuniformed attendants were shoving  a  loaded
stretcher into ambulance.  I could  not  see  much  detail.
The lights began flashing again and  the  ambulance  backed
out swiftly, then screeched as it turned up the street  and
took off with sirens wailing.

My  mother  had  suffered  a  miscarriage.   I  was  deeply
affected and spent days shuddering at the  thought  of  how
emotionally and physically painful it must  have  been  for
her.  But at the same time I  was  angered  at  discovering
that not one of my puritanical family  or  relatives  would
mention the details or even the word  "miscarriage"  in  my
presence -- I gathered what  had  happened  from  bits  and
pieces of  conversation  that  leaked  out  now  and  then.
During the few days my mom spent  in  the  hospital  I  was
shipped off to my maternal grandmother's house a few  miles
down the road and endured her endless chatter and bad jokes
when she drove me to school each morning in her creaky 1950
Ford.  She evaded my questions about what had  happened  to
my mother, but I  figured  it  out  when  I  overheard  her
telling a neighbor that "the baby died."

It was with deep concern that I came from  school  one  day
and Grandma told me she  was  taking  me  home  because  my
mother would be out of the hospital that afternoon.  As  we
drove  and  my  grandma  lapsed  into  another  awful   and
unmemorable country joke, I felt some hope that perhaps the
unfortunate incident  would  somehow  narrow  some  of  the
distance between my family and myself.  Waiting for Mom and
my step dad to show up,  I  paced  the  living  room  floor
restlessly until I saw our tan Ford arrive  shortly  before
sunset.  Mom was in a bathrobe and  overcoat  and  my  step
dad, now treating her with  more  deference  and  attention
than I had seen before,  opened  the  car  and  slowly  and
carefully led her to our door.

Mom entered, looking tired but happy to be home again,  and
looked down at me and gave me  a  weak  hug.   "Well,"  she
said, "I'm back."

"What was wrong with you?'  I asked.  "Are  you  all  right
now?"

She averted my eyes  and  turned  to  go  to  the  bedroom.
"Well, I was just real real...sick, Speedy."

My step dad held her arm as she slowly and  haltingly  made
her way into the hallway and the  bedroom.   He  completely
ignored me, which was exactly what I would  have  expected.
I watched my mother struggle into  their  bedroom,  bracing
herself against a door or a wall as Tony  guided  her  past
the framed portraits of the Virgin and the Sacred Heart and
Saint Jude in the hallway.  I watched her  getting  farther
and farther away from me.  Farther than ever.  I  felt  her
pain.  I felt her loss.  And I felt a distance that  I  had
little hope of breaching again.

Later in my room and I heard the two  of  them  talking  in
hushed tones.  Mom was crying softly.

My step dad spoke in a consoling manner I'd never heard him
use.  "His soul will be protected,  I  know  it  will,"  he
said.

"But, Tony, I was unconscious,"  my  mother  softly  cried.
"No one knew to baptize  the  child.   It'll  be  in  limbo
forever."

"There, now," he kept saying.

The incident had changed the  way  my  step  dad  generally
treated Mom.  But it did nothing  to  quiet  my  anger  nor
smooth the raw feeling I had  of  not  being  part  of  the
household I lived in.  I was disgusted with  the  way  he'd
ignored her pain for weeks until the  result  was  disaster
and heartbreak.  I was glad he'd had a comeuppance and that
he'd earned it the hard way.  And I knew that  my  mother's
rigid religious fervor meant that I would never be able  to
share with her my blasphemous ideas or  my  certainty  that
answers to the mysteries of the universe  did  not  lie  in
fairy tales.  I could have said that the  hereafter  didn't
exist anyway.  I could have fudged  and  said  that  surely
their  all-merciful  God  would  not  forever  consign   an
innocent fetus to limbo.  But there was  no  way,  in  that
house whose furniture and walls were dotted  with  pictures
of  saintly  figures  and  suffering  martyrs  and  plastic
figurines of Jesus, that I could communicate through  their
wall of myth and superstition.

I understood their pain.  But I could not forgive them  for
leaving me alone in a world so  different  and  so  distant
from theirs.

Near my thirteenth birthday, Martha Jane  called  and  said
that Mr. Buchanan's Easter present to her  and  her  sister
Evelyn would be to marry their mom soon  after  Easter  and
move all of them into his big East  Memphis  home.   Martha
Jane had mixed feelings about it.

"I'm glad for mother," she told me over the phone.  "But  I
don't know if I can live in that house.   He's  nice.   But
he's still a redneck and I just can't  seem  to  work  past
that fact."

"At least you won't have to spend the rest of your  college
career moving from place to place."

"True, but...one more move, actually."

"Oh no, not again!"

"Yes, but it's just a move *out* of where I  am,  and  into
that big house.  Oh, well,  at  least  this  time  I'm  his
future daughter, so he's hiring some movers."

"Being his daughter does have its advantages," I offered.

"Come over and help me pack."

"When?"

"I have two weekends when I can do it, the first and second
Saturdays in April.  Which one would you like?"

"Both," I said.

"Which one?"

"Both," I repeated.

Her voice on the other end of the line almost sounded as if
she were winking at me.   "Okay,"  she  said.   "This  time
we'll have longer to play.  I'll have a car  to  use.   Not
Evelyn's, this time.  My daddy-to-be is buying me one."

On a Saturday a few weeks later, Martha Jane showed up in a
bright blue Chevrolet.  But she didn't  look  happy  behind
the wheel.

I said after I got into the seat beside her and we were  on
our way to her place, "Wow, what a car!"

"It's not me!"  she moaned.  "This huge gas-burner  is  NOT
ME!  Speedy, I'm scared.  Really.  I should love this,  but
I hate it.  I feel as if I'm selling out.  And it takes  me
an hour to park it."

"Well...you can always give it back."

"But this is terrible!  I feel so dishonest.   I  dread  to
think of how I'm  going  to  be  punished  for  this...this
terrible sin!  I've invested so much in claiming I  was  on
my own and had my own ideas, and now I'm selling out."

I spent the afternoon with her and helped  her  pack  books
and clothes.  She was cranky the whole time.   I  tried  to
joke around and make light of Mr. Buchanan and to  convince
her that at least her life would be settled for a while.

"I don't know what's going to happen to me,"  she  said  at
one point.  "I had finally got the feeling that  I  was  in
control of my life and I could honestly be myself.   Now  I
have to spend every day in that  house  pretending  that  I
agree with everybody, when I really and truly don't."

"I know," I said ruefully.  "How well I know."

"Hon, can I say something?"  She was sitting on  the  floor
with her legs under her and a pile of books in her lap.

"You can say anything you want, Miss Scarlett."

"Something's...wrong inside you, isn't it?"

"Wrong?  What you mean, Red Ryder?"

"Because you're trying too hard to erase yourself  and  you
never talk about what you think or  feel  anymore.   You're
being nice to me about  anything  and  everything,  to  the
total exclusion of yourself."

I laughed.  "You don't like me  paying  attention  to  you?
I'm having a good time, just helping  you  today.   Really.
Honest."

"How are things with your mom and your step dad?  You never
mention them.  I don't have the slightest  idea  what's  up
with you and them."

I didn't know what to say.  My own feelings about  the  way
I'd been living and how powerless I  felt  were  thoroughly
confused.  And I didn't want to spoil my time  with  Martha
Jane by getting into it.

I mumbled something, a  careless  "Nothing  much  going  on
about that," and she was quiet behind me for a while.   For
sometime afterwards we didn't talk much except to say  that
another box was packed or to ask which box  to  pack  next.
At around six o'clock she decided we should  stop  for  the
day so she could make salads for dinner.

"You sure got quiet," she said  after  I  had  been  eating
wordlessly in front of her at the table for five minutes.

I shrugged.  "Burned out from all this packing, I guess."

"I guess," she said.  She sighed.  "Me too."

"So...you'll be living the  life  of  a  cool  little  East
Memphis socialite from now on."

"Please.  Don't talk about it while I eat."

I sat and chewed and tried to think of  something  else  to
say.  But the only thing  I  could  think  about  was  that
Martha Jane would not be in that college forever, that  she
would be teaching one day, perhaps far away.  I knew better
than to bring up that subject.  In fact, everything that  I
could think of as material for discussion  somehow  led  to
the fact that the one person in  whom  I  could  place  any
trust was surely going to be out of the picture  sooner  or
later.  And on that particular day I wanted  very  much  to
undress her and touch her, but I had grown fearful of  even
saying anything or making a move in that direction.

I blinked and looked up.  She stared questioningly at me.

"Were you in a trance?"  she asked.

"No," I said.  She eyed me  skeptically.   I  shrugged  and
confessed, "Yes."

"I asked you if you have any girlfriends at school."

The question sent a chill up my spine.  "No," I said.

"Someone as active as you, and you  don't  have  some  girl
after you?"

I shook my head no.

"Why not, hon?"

I shrugged-- -a big, on-purpose,  don't-give-a-damn  shrug.
"I'm not interested in anybody."

"I see..."  She got  up  and  poured  some  soda  into  her
half-empty glass.  Wordlessly she returned to the table and
sat.

After a moment she looked into her glass and  said  slowly,
"I wonder ..Speedy...oh, never mind."

I did not know what she was hinting at.   I  looked  up  to
find her staring at me again.  I had just taken a big  bite
of salad.  Desperately reaching for something to talk about
that had nothing to do with my thoughts  or  with  anything
else, I pointed at my face and  said  with  a  full  mouth,
"Nice salad.  Good."

She gave me  a  sad  little  smirk.   "Speedy,  you're  not
talking to me.   You're  just  throwing  words  across  the
table."

"I'm eating," I  said,  and  tried  to  grin  with  lettuce
sticking out one side of my lips.

"You're a miserable failure as a liar, you know that?"

"What am I lying about, Miss District Attorney?"

"The same thing I'm lying about."

"You?  What are you lying about?"

She hesitated.  She opened her lips to speak, but didn't.

I repeated, "What are you lying about and why?"

She took a deep breath and looked  me  right  in  the  eye.
"I'm not lying, really.  It's just that  there's  something
I'm not talking about."

I joked, "Well, gee, thanks for  telling  me  that  there's
something you're not telling me about."

"You're doing it, too.  But you won't  even  tell  me  that
you're not telling me about it."

I shook my head and moved uneasily  in  the  chair.   "Miss
Graham, this sounds so complicated."

"Speedy, what do I have to do to keep you from going inside
yourself like that?  You're so clever about it, but  you're
so distant when you do that,  and  it's  something  you  do
again and again and -- -"

"No," I said quickly.  I gave her a tired, strained  smile.
"No, Martha Jane, it's...things I don't know  how  to  talk
about yet."

"Oh, goodie,  I  think  I  hit  the  target!   What?   What
things?"

"No."

"What things?"

"No!"  I insisted, verging on defensive anger.  I'm sure  I
turned a little red, but I let it go no further than  that.
I was getting better at holding it all in,  because  I  was
sure that a tear would show, or I'd let slip some desperate
motion or remark.  But all  I  let  out  was  a  quiet  and
definite no.

"Well," she said reluctantly, "all right,  then.   I  won't
nag."

"Let's pack some more stuff," I said, brightening up.

"No."

"Martha Jane...I'm -- I guess I'm just bored and tired."

"You sure?"

"Mm-hmm."

The look on her face told me she didn't  believe  me.   But
all she said was, "Will you promise not to run away while I
take a shower?  I'm all dusty from this work."

"Can I shower first?  You really  had  me  sweating  today.
What a slave-driver."

"Okay.  You, then me."

I showered first, very quickly-- -not that I was so grungy,
but I wanted to  prepare  a  surprise  for  her  while  she
washed.  After  I  dried  off,  she  followed.   While  she
showered I remained  undressed,  cleaned  up  the  kitchen,
turned down all the lights, readied the bed, and lay  naked
in the bedroom face-up with my hands behind my head and  my
cock standing straight up in the air.

She came out of the bath toweling her  hair.   She  stopped
short in the doorway when she saw me.  Her eyes widened and
she laughed.  "Well, well!  Am I to gather from  this  that
you are making the moves this time?"

"Isn't it my turn?"

She smirked.  "Let me clean up the kitchen."

"I already did it."

"Oh," she said, impressed.  "Really!  My-- -All  this,  and
he does dishes,  too."   She  threw  the  towel  aside  and
climbed on  the  bed  and  crawled  stealthily  toward  me.
"C'mere, you..."

Almost an hour later she lay naked under me with her  knees
raised while I fucked her rapidly in the soft  bed  in  her
dark bedroom.  She had cum twice, once under my  mouth  and
once with me inside her.

"Slower," she taunted, her eyes fixed  on  mine.   "Let  it
build up."

"...it's so good, it's close now..."

"Let it feel good longer, honey.  Look at me."  She held my
face gently but firmly.  "Let me see your eyes."

I trained my eyes on hers.

Her hazel orbs searched mine  knowingly.   She  stroked  my
face as I moved in her.  I was physically close to  climax,
but emotionally distant -- and Martha Jane had uncanny ways
of sensing it.

She said, "You've been hiding something from me for a  long
time."

Trying to evade her, I stared back intently.  "No."

"You don't have to tell me what it is.  But I don't want it
holding you back from me when we fuck.  Let go of it.   Let
it go so you can really enjoy fucking me."

Her offer melted my resistance, and I could not prevent  my
face and eyes from softening with gratitude --  a  reaction
she acknowledged with a little grin of recognition.

I  stopped  moving.   I  tried   telling   her,   "I   keep
thinking...I don't know how to say it..."

"Shh.  No thinking.  It's so seldom that we can be together
like this.  I'm being very selfish: I want to  give  you  a
wonderful cum.  I want you to stop thinking and cum."

I began moving in her again, but she cradled my  face  once
more and said, "Slow, hon.  Make it last until you can stop
thinking so much."

I slowed my pace  and  lengthened  my  strokes  so  that  I
withdrew almost all the way out before going even deeper in
her.

"Good," she said.  "Yes.  Take your time.  Go deep."

I dreaded she would make it so good  that  I  would  forget
myself completely, that my fears and anger  would  have  me
crying or screaming when I came.  But her  eyes  and  voice
enticed me out of myself despite all my recent conditioning
to the contrary.  I felt my emotions welling  up  to  match
the intense pleasure I felt inside her.

She urged me on with lusty whispers and an ingenious  knack
for holding me on the edge and delaying  my  release  until
the defenses that imprisoned my pleasure behind a  wall  of
rage and isolation had been obliterated.  For a  long  time
she would not let me cum until I was  so  overpowered  with
lust that, with a helpless sob, I relinquished all  control
to my back and hips and allowed them to pump my cock into a
mindless state of raw pleasure.  Below me, she received  my
surrender with a sweet smile.

Everything disappeared.  I yelled.  I slowed and spurted.

She  hissed,  "Yessss...yes,  hon...MMM!   So  MUCH!...yes,
baby!...oh yes enjoy it, such a good cum..."  When she felt
my orgasm waning she rolled her hips in a slow arc and drew
my last remnants into her clutching warmth.

As usual, she thoroughly destroyed and drained me.  I  fell
asleep in her arms until she woke me up to drive  me  home.
On the way she asked if I felt better.  I answered, yes,  I
felt better.  But what I did not say was that  nothing  had
changed.

Continued...

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