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From: Incest Man <familyincest@graffiti.net>
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Subject: story: "The Adventures of Me and Martha Jane" (bf mF mF+) Part 3B
Date: Fri, 11 Aug 2006 14:20:43 -0700
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http://www.incesttabooo.com/mathaj.html

The Adventures of Me and Martha Jane

Part 3B

For several weeks I saw Martha Jane only now  and  then  as
she walked across the grounds on her way in or out  of  the
project.  She caught sight of me  once  from  a  couple  of
blocks away and smiled and waved and yelled Hi.

Meanwhile, it seems my Mom and  future  step-dad  had  gone
through a brief spat.  They  started  dating  again  a  few
weeks later.  But my sitter was not Martha Jane.  In  fact,
I had two different sitters at first.  The first  must  not
have  been  very  interesting,  as  I  have  absolutely  no
recollection of who they were  or  how  they  looked.   The
identity of the second sitter is also a blank, but I recall
that I spent the evening not at home but  in  the  sitter's
apartment, across the driveway and at a slight  angle  from
my own building.  Through their back  kitchen  window  that
night I could  see  the  back  door  that  led  to  my  own
apartment.  And just to the left was  the  apartment  where
Martha Jane and her family lived.  At one point that  night
I saw her in her  kitchen;  there  was  no  mistaking  that
pretty face and frizzy auburn hair.  I waved  to  her.   Of
course, she didn't see me.  I went back  later  and  waited
for a while but she didn't show again.  And by the time the
sitter walked me back across the driveway  back  home,  all
the lights were out in Martha Jane's place.

When I had not seen her for several more days I bumped into
her accidentally just as I was going out the front door  on
my way to school.  She came outside at the same  time  with
her schoolbooks under her arm.

"Hey, hon," she sang as she locked her door.  She beamed at
me and gave me her  best  Southern  twang.   "Where've  you
been, sugar?"

"where've-you-been-too," I mimicked playfully.

"Well," she went on, making a silly face, "Where YOU been?"

"Well," I said in the same way, "Where YOU been?"

She laughed and gave a mild  go-away  wave  with  her  free
hand.  "Oh, silly!"  She shook her head.  She was wearing a
long plaid, pleated skirt  and  a  white  blouse.   I  very
clearly remember that morning and how she  looked;  bright,
clean, basic, unpretentious, very very pretty in a  simple,
uncomplicated way.

We walked a few blocks together.  I noticed she  seemed  to
be getting thinner.  She also looked tired,  but  cheerful.
It turned out she had been working very hard in school  and
was overly anxious to do well.  "You  wouldn't  know  about
that yet," she said, "you're barely in the third grade."

"What grade are you in?"  I asked.

"The umpteenth, feels like."

Umpteenth was our private code that meant something akin to
forever or infinity.

"I'm coming over Saturday," she said.  She had stopped  and
seemed serious and looked steadily at me without moving.

I said, "Oh.  Okay!"  and beamed at her.  She kept  looking
at me in the same mysterious way.  I didn't  know  why  she
wasn't   saying   anything.     She    seemed    concerned,
apprehensive.

"Well," she said after a minute and a short breath,  "I  am
*supposed* to stay with you Saturday night, anyway."

I did not know what she was getting at or  what  was  going
on, or why  she  emphasized  the  word  "supposed".   I  do
remember the moment clearly.  I became very tense;  I  felt
suddenly distant from her and didn't know what was wrong.

She asked me pointedly, "Are we still friends, hon?"

"Sure we are," I said.

"I mean...are we still really, really friends?"

I  blushed.   "Your  my  own  special,  very   only,   very
umpeenthdegree friend."

"And you're my special little man, hon," she said, but  she
wasn't smiling, except weakly, sympathetically.

We talked a little more, I don't  remember  what  we  said.
She seemed absent-minded.  It was not until Saturday  night
that I discovered what she was thinking.

It was all quite complicated.  At least, it was for  Martha
Jane.  As an adult I now understand, but as a 9-year-old  I
could not fathom it.  I viewed things more simplistically.

Next Saturday, Martha Jane and I sat and talked  after  she
made dinner and after we  cleaned  the  dishes.   Then  she
studied on the sofa a while.  She  asked  me  a  series  of
seemingly unrelated questions, none of  which  I  remember.
She was not as openly  affectionate  as  usual  and  seemed
remote, though not at all cold.

Our exchanges were brief and rather formal.  She  asked  me
about some uncles of mine who had  not  returned  from  the
war, and she asked if I  ever  saw  my  Uncle  frank--  -my
father's brother and one of the few male  relatives  in  my
family who had survived and returned home.  I told her that
Uncle Frank had not seen me  since  he  finished  his  last
hitch in the Air Corps and decided  to  come  back  to  the
States and go to college on the GI Bill.  I told her  about
his getting wounded in a B-26 in the Pacific  a  few  years
ago and how he pulled up his pants leg and  showed  me  the
pink scars of the three healed bullet holes  in  his  lower
thigh.

She winced, making an "Ugh"  face.   She  said  firmly,  "I
don't want to hear about it.  I've heard enough  about  the
war."

So I didn't say any more.  I sat on the floor watching her,
trying to figure out how to get through to her.

Martha Jane announced, "My Uncle Joe died, you know."

"Yeah," I said, "Mama told me."

"He was sick for so long, from his war  wounds.   He  lived
longer than we thought  he  would,  but...It  was  hard  on
Mother.  That's two men the war took from her, her  husband
and her brother."  She stared ahead pensively, then blinked
awake.  "Well.  Enough of that."

I said earnestly from across the  room,  "I'm  real  sorry,
Martha Jane."

She smiled weakly.  "Thank  you,  hon.   I  know  you  are.
It'll be alright."  She looked back at her book  and  began
scribbling in her notepad.

For a long time-- -perhaps for  most  of  the  evening,  it
seems--  she  pored   over   her   studies   and   remained
unresponsive.

Later that night I felt she  was  still  mourning,  despite
saying  she  would  get  over  it.   I  had  seen  a  whole
neighborhood full  of  hurt,  tragic  people:  widows,  the
disabled and the paralyzed, the shot-up and  the  abandoned
of the War.  I had seen  my  mom's  sister,  my  young  and
plain-looking Aunt Martha, when she came to  our  apartment
once in the middle of the night, pounding on our front door
and screaming for help until she woke us.  My mom scrambled
out of bed and I stood in the  hallway  watching  from  the
bedroom as Mom opened the front door for Aunt  Martha,  who
rushed sobbing into the living  room  and  collapsed  in  a
wailing heap on the  sofa.   Her  husband  had  beaten  her
again.  Mom and Aunt Martha  tried  to  hide  the  bloodied
bruises from me, but  I  had  already  seen  them  on  Aunt
Martha's face and arms and I  knew  what  the  marks  meant
without being told.  Seeing her, I wanted to cry and  throw
my arms around her-- -even though she  was,  unfortunately,
one of those adults I didn't  trust.   She  was  even  more
grimly  puritanical  and  prim   than   my   Mom,   and   a
fundamentalist who considered everything  an  occasion  for
sin of some kind.  But I understood her pain, both physical
and emotional, without having it explained to me.

That night occurred some years earlier,  when  I  had  just
turned 6.  The commotion woke up Martha Jane's family  next
door.  She and her sister Evelyn came over in  their  robes
and pajamas and  Martha  Jane  went  straight  over  to  me
because my mother panicked and was rasping, "Get Speedy out
of here, get him out of  here!"   Martha  Jane  led  me  to
bedroom, where I looked up at  her  and  whispered  so  the
others wouldn't hear, "I already saw it."

She looked down at me.  "You did what, hon?"

I repeated, looking back to make sure the  others  couldn't
hear us, "I already  saw  it,  Martha  Jane.   I  saw  what
happened."

Martha Jane knelt down to me in her  rumpled  bathrobe  and
looked into my eyes with her  deep,  striking  green  ones.
"Then," she said eyeing me seriously, "you understand  what
happened."

I nodded.  Then I  added,  so  the  others  wouldn't  hear,
"Uncle Bobby hurt her again."

We were alone in the room.  I could still see  in  my  mind
the earlier glimpse of Aunt Martha's  bloody  lip  and  the
dark bulging eye, the blue-black on one  of  her  arms.   I
started crying.  I could not stop the  tears  from  falling
down my face, despite my attempts at remaining calm.

"Oh, honey," Martha Jane implored, "don't  get  scared  and
start crying, now."

"I'm not scared," I sniffled.   "I  know  how  Aunt  Martha
hurts.  It makes me cry."

"You-- -" Her eyes looking into mine softened and seemed to
turn to mush.  "Oh, you sweet baby!"

"Why does he do that to her?"

"I don't know, hon.  But you are so sweet.  So very sweet."

She closed the bedroom  door,  shutting  us  off  from  the
sobbing and wailing in the living room,  and  put  me  back
into bed.  She told me it would all be okay in the  morning
and she understood my feelings.  She sat  on  the  bed  and
said I shouldn't feel bad about not being with  the  others
and she really didn't want me to  feel  as  though  I  were
being "locked away" in the room.  She said, "I'll  stay  in
here with you for a while if you want, okay?  So you  won't
be all by yourself?"

I told her, "It's okay if I stay in  here,  'cause  I  know
Aunt Martha.  I know how  she  is.   She  doesn't  want  us
staring at her, she feels all ugly  and  everything.   I'll
stay here so she won't feel ashamed.  But...they don't have
to yell at me.  They're always hiding everything and acting
like I won't understand."

"No,  hon.   They're  just  scared,  that's  all.   They're
upset."  She stroked my head.  She told me she  would  come
back later and that she would tell my Aunt Martha about  my
concern for her.  But I said, "No, don't tell her that."

"But why not, hon.?  I know she'd appreciate it."

"I don't want you to."

"But, Speedy...honey, why not?  What's wrong?"

"I don't...want...you...to."

"But, hon...?"

"'Cause every time she  sees  me,  she'll  be  embarrassed.
She'll remember tonight.  That's the way she is."

I don't know how  long  Martha  Jane  sat  looking  at  me,
stroking my hair,  with  that  amazed  look  on  her  face.
Finally she said, "I have to go in  there  and  help.   You
sure you'll be alright?"

"Yes."

She sighed and rose and went to the door, but before  going
out she leaned inside and  blew  me  a  kiss.   "You're  my
little man from now on, hon,"  she  said,  and  closed  the
door.

That night had taken place some years before and was one of
the very early incidents that had so endeared me to  Martha
Jane, and her to me.  Now it was a few  years  later.   And
Martha Jane had become more than  just  a  neighbor.   More
than a friend.  And now I saw that  she  was  the  one  who
seemed hurt.  Or, at best, worried about something.

I didn't know what to do about it.  I was good at clowning,
though, and I wondered how I could make her  laugh.   At  9
o'clock she hustled me into the  bathroom  (no  bubble-bath
this time.  I was getting a little "too old" for that)  and
she stayed in the living room while I bathed.  I dried  off
and straightened the room, and peeked around the door  into
the living room.  She was on the sofa, studying  intensely.
But I did see a crumpled Kleenex in her hand, and her  eyes
had reddened.

An wave of empathy had me almost crying  with  her.   There
was a curtain-covered closet in  the  hallway  between  the
bath and the bedroom.  It could  not  be  seen  from  where
Martha Jane sat on the sofa.  I got out of the  tub,  dried
off, and went rummaging in the closet, looking for a  funny
idea.  Martha Jane heard me kicking around.

"Speedy, I thought you were going to bed," she called.

"Just lookin' for somethin'," I called back.   I  found  my
six-shooter outfit in there, and a cowboy hat.  I put on my
mom's dress with my six-guns and holsters on  backward.   I
had seen enough John Wayne movies to be able to do a fairly
acceptable imitation of the guy.  I donned this outfit  and
tied toy spurs loosely on my ankles.  Pulling the  brim  of
the hat down low over my eyes, I  walked  into  the  living
room.  I looked ridiculous.  I stood there  while  she  had
her face in her book.  It was a minute before she  realized
I was there, and when she finally looked up I yelled out in
my best John Wayne voice.

"Howdy, pil-grum!"

She blinked.  Her mouth fell wide open and she  covered  it
with the Kleenex.  I strutted  across  the  room  with  big
stomping John Wayne steps.  "pardon me, ma-uhm,  but...this
town ain't big for thah two of us.  One of us has...got tah
go."

She laughed in her oh-my-god, head-shaking way, not  a  big
laugh but several breathy intakes.  She  blurted  out,  "Do
you intend to sleep in that outfit?"

"Why, yes'm" I said, still John Wayne.  With my thumb  over
my shoulder I indicated  an  imaginary  object  behind  me.
"Just me and...  muh horse, over there."

"Oh, no," she said.  "You are so cute."  She wiped one  eye
with a corner of the Kleenex, trying to hide her red  eyes.
I think she  knew  I  couldn't  possibly  have  missed  the
gesture, but she kept up the effort.   She  said,  "I  have
something in my eye, hon.  You go on and get ready for bed.
Go on, now, it's late."

"Well...okay,"  I  said,   disappointed   that   I   hadn't
accomplished very much.  I walked back to the  closet  with
one of my aluminum toy spurs  dragging  uselessly  off  one
foot, and removed my silly gear and stored it back  in  the
closet.  As I was doing so, I saw Martha Jane turning  back
the bedclothes in the bedroom.  I  undressed  down  to  the
underwear that I usually slept in  and  crawled  into  bed.
Martha Jane fluffed the pillows and turned  off  the  lamp.
She stood by the bed.

"You ready to go to sleep now, cowboy?"

"Right, ma-yum."

She was silent.  She looked at the floor.  I saw  her  eyes
water.  She was dark against the dim light shedding in from
the living room.

"You never met your daddy, did you,  hon?   You  never  saw
him.  He got killed over there before you ever knew who  he
was."

I didn't know what  to  say  to  that.   Every  relative  I
encountered-- -and there were  many  of  them  in  my  huge
family-- -mentioned my dead father at  every  visit,  every
Mass, every picnic, every Bingo game,  every  damn  holiday
dinner.  Now Martha Jane was doing it.  I was  not  angered
by it, but I did find  myself  unable  to  understand  this
constant lingering over the memory  of  dead  men  I  never
knew.

Martha Jane went on quietly.  "My daddy was killed  in  the
war, too.   He  was  one  of  'em,  too,  that...died,  got
killed."  She took a deep, wobbly breath, and  sighed.   "I
guess you're lucky, Speedy, you never knew your daddy,  but
I knew mine.  I used to..."  She  stopped  again,  breathed
deeply, and when she started again her  voice  had  cracked
and broken up.  "I used to see him  all  the  time.   Every
day.  So you don't  know  what  that  is,  when  some  Army
sergeant you never saw before-- -" and  she  began  talking
and crying at the same time-- "shows up at the door with  a
letter-- -"

She suddenly crumpled and fell to her knees, her  hands  on
her head, which was cradled on the edge of  the  bed.   She
cried her heart out, not  wailing,  but  heaving  in  long,
wrenching, childlike sighs.  "I miss him!  Oh, I miss  him!
Why isn't he here to help us?"

Instantly I went to her, squatting on the bed  and  holding
her head, the only part of her I could  reach.   She  cried
and cried and cried.  I didn't know what to say, but I  did
know to hold her  and  stroke  her  hair.   Eventually  she
calmed down, and returned my hug with a long tight  embrace
of her arm around one of  mine.   With  a  long  sigh,  she
reached up to the night table for another Kleenex  and  sat
on the floor, drying her eyes and looking up at me.

"You knew I was thinkin' something, didn't you cowboy?"

I nodded.

"You...are one little smart-ass,"  she  said,  blowing  her
nose.  She sniffed loudly.  "You know what a smart-ass is?"

"I think so."

"Well you are one sweet  smart-ass.   Now,  c'mon..."   She
stood up and started tucking things in  again.   "I'm  done
now, I got it outta my system and it's a-a-all  over  with.
You get yourself to sleep.  C'mon, John Wayne."

"Martha Jane?"  I  began.   I  had  not  told  her  what  I
desperately wanted to tell her.

"Yes, hon?"

"I...  uh...  Hmmm."  I scratched my head.

She came closer to the bed.  "What is it, big boy?"

"I still never..."

"Mm-hm, okay, you still never.  You still never what?"

"I never told anybody what we did together."

She stood deadly  still  and  silent,  looking  toward  the
floor, hands on her hips.  She pursed  her  lips  and  made
another sniffle.  She didn't say anything.  I thought I had
offended her.

"I mean...," I went on carefully, "in case you were worried
about that.  I mean, at first I thought  that's  what...you
were worried about."

She said, "Oh."  She neither moved nor looked at me.  "Oh,"
she said again.  "That."

"I just wanted you to know," I said, shrinking from her and
back into the bed.

She shook her head, seemed to ponder deeply.  Abruptly  she
left the room.  I lay there numb, figuring  I  had  somehow
pissed her off in the worst  way.   Then  the  living  room
light went out.  The only light in the room  was  moonlight
falling on the bed.  I heard Martha Jane walking toward the
bedroom.  I turned and could barely see her at  first,  but
soon she appeared in the dim light of the moon  beside  the
bed.

She said sternly, "C'mere, Speedy."

I crawled to the edge of the bed.   She  was  wearing  dark
clothes, a blue blouse and a ruffled  blue  skirt.   All  I
could see were her eyes.

"You are one smart little boy,"  she  said.   "Yes,  I  was
worried about that.  I wanted my daddy to  get  me  out  of
trouble, I thought I  was  in  trouble  about  that."   She
paused and said something, almost to herself,  something  I
would be able to understand only years later.  "I am  goin'
to hell.  We're both goin' to hell."

She then reached out and pulled me to her by one hand,  she
standing by the bed with me on my knees near the edge.  She
looked deeply into my eyes  briefly,  and  then  hugged  me
tightly.  There was something serious and desperate, rather
than playful, in the way she clasped me to her.  So I  made
no moves on my own.  I simply let myself be held,  my  arms
draped loosely around her neck.  When she made no  response
after a moment I gave her a hug and waited.  But she  stood
unmoving beside the bed, silent, enfolding me closely  with
one arm around my back and the other cradling my head  into
her neck and shoulder.

With my face in her neck I was unable to see  hers  in  the
dark, but I could tell that she was  looking  down  at  the
floor silently for a very,  very  long  time,  perhaps  for
almost two  minutes.   During  that  time  I  very  lightly
stroked her back and then put my own hand on  the  back  of
her neck to let her know that I would wait, wait for her to
stop thinking or whatever it was she was doing in that long
wordless minute in the dark.

She moved her lips; faintly I heard them part, and she took
in a small breath as if  to  speak,  but  she  stopped.   I
waited for her in the darkness around  us.   Her  eyelashes
flicked once, and I knew she was looking past my  shoulder,
across the bed, out into the moonlit window behind me.  Her
lashes flicked again against my cheek, and she looked  down
once more, breathing.  She parted her lips again  and  they
made a mildly dry, sticking sound.  And  she  breathed  and
waited and waited, as if something  from  deep  inside  her
were slowly, slowly struggling to the find a place  in  her
breathing  and  in  her  voice.   She  looked  down.    She
swallowed.  Hard.

"Hon?"  she began, tentatively, barely audible.   Her  lips
were so close to my ear I could feel the  moisture  of  her
breath on my earlobes.  "Do you want to be nasty with me?"

My head buried in her neck, I nodded slowly.

She paused again, and again I heard  her  lips  part  dryly
near my ear.  She continued, softly.  "Do you mind if I say
it's nasty but I want us to do it anyway?"

"I don't mind."

"I mean...I mean I know and you know  that  everybody  says
it's wrong and we're not supposed to do it, but...I want to
anyway.  I want you to understand: I know it's  nasty...but
that's why I like it.  And I don't understand it."

"But I like it too," I whispered back.

Again she hesitated before she relaxed her arms and held me
more loosely.  "Good," she whispered in  my  ear.   "Good."
She stroked my back for a moment and gave my  head  in  her
neck a brief affectionate hug.  Then her  fingers  were  at
the front of my underwear.  She tried to find her way  into
the slit but couldn't, so she pushed her hand gently  under
the top band.

She whispered, "Your dick, hon...", and  soon  her  fingers
found me and wrapped around me warmly.  "...there he is..."
She hugged my cock gently.  Then she murmured so  softly  I
could barely hear, even though her lips were still  against
my ear: "I like it too, hon.  I can't help  it.   We're  so
much alike."

Continued...

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