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From: Frank McCoy <mccoyf@millcomm.com>
Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.d
Subject: {ASSD} Going overboard: Department of redundancy department
Date: Sun, 11 Sep 2005 20:30:18 -0500
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Sometimes I read some other people's stories and get hit by the constant
repetition. One in particular that I remember having *every* ejaculation by the
main character going something like, "Spurt, spurt, dribble, dribble, dribble."
It wasn't just once, but *every single time*.
Another person (whose stories I really like, otherwise) has the protagonist
going time after time, repeatedly, consecutively, redundantly, over and over,
and with repetitious repeatedness ejaculating time after time into little girls,
in a scene that just wouldn't be possible without magical help; as there's no
way a human being could contain *that* much semen without an external bag to
carry it in. ;-}
But that, as he's explained (cumming many times) is *his* fantasy ... and I
can't fault him for writing what *he* finds erotic and arousing ... Though my
"willing suspension of disbelief" begins to falter after about the tenth time he
ejaculates (copiously) inside of ten minutes. Dry hunches and empty
ejaculations I might buy. After all, it's the *brain* that's the main sexual
organ, not the balls, prick, or even prostate.
However, what bugs me *most*, is finding *myself* doing something similar ...
and I can't seem to stop!
I keep going back to some particular stories I write ... and adding more
"detail" to each ... But, if you examine the story, it's mainly just
more-of-the-same. Each is yet more emphasis on what I've already
overemphasized; adding word after long weary word to what has been beaten to
death earlier in the story.
I *try* to vary my sentences and sound by using a thesaurus, my own memory, and
as many variations as I can think up to not bore the readers to death with the
repetitive "dribble, dribble, dribble", but after about the tenth time of saying
the same thing ... no matter how differently phrased, it just is more
propaganda, if nothing else.
Well: OK. So I *do* write propaganda, and press a point so hard it snaps.
Still, is that any *real* excuse? I think not.
In fact, the only *real* excuse I have for doing this, is that it makes it more
erotic for *me* to read ... screw any potential later readers of my stories;
it's ME that is reading it now ... and wants those extra redundancies,
repetitions, duplications, and copies put in ... because to me they seem, well,
sexier.
And, I simply *hate* to take them out; even though I know as a true *story* or
work-of-art, the tale would be immeasurably better with just enough repetition
to make the point; not fill up the whole story.
So ... WOULD it really be better to remove them, for esthetics' sake ... or keep
in what I myself really *like* (a lot) in a story; hoping that those others who
like the same sort of tale I do will be gratified by having all that extra (like
me) instead of being dismayed at all that repetition and redundancy?
Comments (good OR bad) cheerfully accepted.
Go ahead: TELL me I'm a jerk for writing what I KNOW is bad prose ... but what
I feel is erotic in a story.
--
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