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===================
Need an idea for your writing?
Need to find an answer you're too shy to ask?
Need some laughter while you're reading this at work?
* * *
Source:
http://www.askmen.com/love/dzimmer_100/110_love_answers.html
* * *
drinking from the cup
My husband and I are thinking of living out a fantasy. Would
it be safe for him to drink wine or another beverage out of
my vagina? If so, how much liquid can it hold?
Neville
Hi Neville,
Pouring foreign liquid substances into your vagina is
generally a bad idea. Let me explain a few of the risks that
you'll potentially be exposing yourself to by filling your
cup up:
# A normal, healthy vagina maintains a pH balance in the
range of 3.8 to 4.5. This creates an acidic environment that
discourages infections from occurring. The introduction of a
strange liquid into the vagina will disrupt this balance,
clearing the way for bacterial vaginosis and other infections.
# Yeast infections thrive on sugar. Filling your vagina with
any kind of sugary liquid (sodas, liqueurs) will increase
the amount of sugar stored in the vaginal cell walls, and
with it your vulnerability.
# Over time, alcohol will inflict tissue damage on body
cells that it comes into contact with, and those of the
vaginal walls are no exception.
# Any time air is blown into the vagina, there is a very
slight risk of embolism -- that's to say, a chance that this
air may enter your bloodstream and cause a potentially fatal
blockage in a vessel. If your husband's drink of choice is a
carbonated one (like sparkling wine), you could be in trouble.
So if you and your husband do decide to live out this
fantasy, stick with water -- it's the safest route.
To answer your second question: An aroused vagina is usually
in the range of five to six inches in length, and one and a
half to two and a half inches in diameter (though not
limited to these parameters; the vagina is very malleable).
This translates to 37.5 cubic inches, or just over 600
milliliters -- slightly less than the volume of a bottle of
wine.
Donald Zimmer
swollen head
Today I was masturbating and I think I did it too hard. 30
minutes later, I took a shower and noticed that, right
before the foreskin, my penis had enlarged like a balloon.
It's not humungous but it's twice the normal size... I'm
really worried about this. What should I do?
George
George,
The clinical term for what you might be suffering from is
paraphimosis. It is a condition unique to uncircumcised men,
and the swelling is the product of the foreskin being
trapped beneath the glans, or head, of the penis. This can
occur during masturbation or sex, or even if you just leave
your foreskin retracted when you fall asleep at night. How
do you fix it? Get that foreskin back up over the head again.
It sounds like a simple solution, and most of the time it is
(albeit a momentarily painful one). Just apply gentle
pressure to the head and roll it back over, as if you were
taking a ring off a finger. If left retracted for too long,
however, you might have to go under the knife. A common
treatment for severe or prolonged paraphimosis is the
cutting of a small slit in the foreskin or outright
circumcision. Go see a doctor if it's still swollen --
leaving such a condition untreated can lead to permanent
tissue damage.
Donald Zimmer
still a virgin?
The general consensus has it that one is a virgin until one
has had vaginal intercourse. However, what is vaginal
intercourse? I think it's safe to say that vaginal
intercourse is when a man's penis is put into the woman's
vagina. Some people say the man and woman have to orgasm.
But, some women can have sex and still not orgasm, so that's
why I don't believe they have to orgasm to have "sexual
intercourse."
My question is this: If a man put his penis into a woman's
vagina, penetrates her two to three inches, and then pulls
it out and stops because it's hurting her, would they have
had (really crappy) sex? What if they tried to put it in and
it wouldn't go so they stopped? Would she still be a virgin?
Kwok
Kwok,
That's an interesting question. While most would agree that
the act of penetration constitutes losing one's virginity,
how deep does one have to penetrate? Many cultures view the
hymen as a barrier to penetration, maintaining that as long
as the hymen is intact, so is one's virginity. But this
doesn't account for the fact that the hymen can break
naturally or from exercise, or that it can be located up to
half an inch deep inside the body (which would allow for a
degree of penetration without threat to it).
Another notion to keep in mind is that of women in same-sex
relationships: There are many who don't experience
penetration in their sexual relations, but few would
describe themselves as virgins.
In short, I would say that losing it is a very subjective
experience, and thus flexibly defined. If you and your
girlfriend have shared a concurrent physical and powerful
emotional connection, and you both left it feeling strongly
that you lost your virginity, then it's probably safe to say
that you did so.
By the same token, if you had a crappy experience, which
only involved semi-penetration and never achieved,
physically speaking, what you had set out to, I think you
can let her get away with claiming her virginity for a
little while longer.
Donald Zimmer
intimidated by sex?
I've always been delighted with sex and want it all the
time. My boyfriend, however, has never been quite so
energetic and told me last night that he just doesn't want
sex every day. He thinks he just doesn't have it in him, and
that sex on a daily basis would become routine, boring and
desensitizing.
Now, he's only 21 years old. Is this unnatural? We have been
sleeping together for two and a half years, but this
frequency has been pretty much the same from the beginning.
My worry is that if he's like this now, what will he be like
in five years time?
In addition, I have to practically force oral sex on him. He
really doesn't enjoy it so much, and he has never returned
the favor. He seems to be a bit freaked out by anything
that's not straightforward sex.
Anyway, is there any way I can put something in his tea to
make him jump me three times a day and give me lovely oral?
Is it normal for a 21-year-old young man to turn his horny
girlfriend down so often?
And one final question: If someone is perfect in every way
except that they don't want to get dirty with you enough,
what do you do? I guess men put up with it from women all
the time, but I think it's harder the other way around.
Amy
Hi Amy,
Three possible explanations for your present circumstances
immediately spring to mind:
1- As you suggested, your boyfriend is freaked out by
anything that's not straightforward sex. He evades oral and
other acts that he views as too kinky, and perhaps even
straight sex out of fear that it will lead to pressure to
engage in said acts. Whether this is due to relative
inexperience or just his upbringing, you can't expect him to
just snap out of it -- it's up to you to help him. Many
inhibition-easing techniques apply equally to both genders.
2- You're overreacting. You say that he doesn't want to make
love on a daily basis, but you don't specify how frequently
the two of you do have sex. If it's only once a month, then
yes, there may be a problem there. But if it's every other
day and has been for the past two and a half years, then you
might be asking for a bit much. Most people would be quite
pleased to have sex four times a week over that time span.
3- Your fears are well-grounded, and your boyfriend doesn't
have the typical libido of a man his age. This could be due
to stress, the side effects of a medication, illness, or any
one of a number of specific conditions, such as low
testosterone. There's a good reason why this may be the
first you've heard of this explanation: The Journal of the
American Medical Association has cited low sex drive as the
sexual problem which men find hardest to discuss.
Again, these are all just postulations -- none provide a
firm diagnosis. If it is indeed a medical issue, only a
visit to a physician can provide that. If it's something in
his head or ingrained in your relationship, my best
suggestion would be that you try to talk it out.
Donald Zimmer
something's fishy
I have been going out with my current girlfriend for a few
months, and we have engaged in sex many times. She has also
given me oral sex quite a few times. I would like to
pleasure her back with oral sex as well. However, I have
noticed that her vagina has a certain "fishy" smell. I have
discreetly asked if she washes it and she says she does, but
still she emits this smell. How could I tell her without
hurting her feelings, and how can we correct this problem?
John
Hello John,
First you need to establish that this odor is an unusual
one. Is the smell strong relative to other woman that you
have been with? Perhaps your current girlfriend is your
first sexual partner, and you weren't prepared to smell
anything down there at all. If this is indeed the case, then
know that it's normal for most women to emit an odor from
their vulva, albeit not a fishy one.
Even if your girl's odor is a little stronger than most, it
may be a simple hygiene issue. This is easily resolved by
washing regularly, controlling perspiration and wearing
cotton panties. It might even be due to an overabundance of
garlic in her diet.
However, let's not dismiss the real possibility that what
you're detecting is indicative of something abnormal. A
fishy smell is sometimes symptomatic of anaerobic vaginosis,
an imbalance in bacteria in the vagina. While this condition
is treatable with an antibiotic, be warned that similar
odors can be signs of sexually transmitted diseases like
chlamydia and human papillomavirus (HPV).
The best way to bring this up with her is delicately. Women
are typically more sensitive to their own vulvic aromas, so
if you can smell it, she definitely can. Raising the topic
in a general tone might suffice to prompt her to seek your
advice on the subject -- although I realize that casually
inserting the topic of genital odors into a conversation is
easier said than done.
Donald Zimmer
bad oral
I've tried performing oral sex on my boyfriend but I think
he doesn't like it because I haven't gotten much of a
reaction out of him while doing it. I've asked him if he
likes it and he says it's "okay." I don't want it to be
"okay" -- I want it to be great! He also told me that I
scratch him with my teeth. How do I stop this?
I've also had problems trying to orgasm. I don't think he's
the problem because when we have had sex it felt good, and
he made me feel like I wanted to pee all over myself. It
just hasn't happened. Please help me!
Donna
Donna,
It seems quite likely to me that your boyfriend's aversion
to oral sex stems from your technique -- the teeth problem,
that is. There are plenty of sex guides, online and in
print, that should help you make it a more comfortable
experience for him. As well, don't be afraid to stroke his
penis with your hand while your using your mouth.
The fact that you feel like you have to pee during
intercourse tells me that you're very close to achieving
orgasm: the stimulation of the G-spot can often produce such
an urge. Then again, it's possible that your boyfriend's
penis is just putting pressure on your bladder.
The best way to find out which is the source is through some
experimentation of your own. Set aside some alone time to
play with your clitoris and see if it has the same effect
that his penis does. If you are in fact just a bit shy of
hitting your peak in bed, there are plenty of ways to help
your man out.
Donald Zimmer