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===================

Jack C Lipton wrote:
>   http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_1414089.html?menu=news.quirkies
> 
> In any case, it's a wedding reception that turned
> into a divorce celebration... the hard way.
> 
> (shakes head)

UNEDITED and UNPROOFREAD PREVIEW
story inspired by the ridiculous account


Offbeat Wedding
An Olexander Skripnik Adventure Story
(C) 2005-2505 Bingain
Codes: MF, cheat, cons, ridiculous, insane, hilarious

-------------------------------------------------

Prologue

This story is inspired by a true account.

It happened when I was still an athletic trainer for the 
Scarlet Knights, the Rutgers University football team. You can 
know a little more about me from the story "Girls' Soccer 
Coach" written by this same author, who has exclusive rights 
to tell all my stories.

The Story

Damon, a freshman athlete, saw me holding a pale pink envelope 
when I came out of the head coach's office. "Someone's getting 
married?" he asked.

"Yeah," I said. "His nephew is marrying Nancy Hunters."

"Nancy 'Clara Bow' Hunters?"

"Yeah," I said, chuckling.

"I've heard of her name, but I have no clue why she has that 
nickname, and who the hell is Clara Bow?"

"Want to have a coffee?"

"Sure."

"Okay," I said, as we walked toward a lounge. "Clara Bow was 
an actress of the late 1920s. There were many rumors about her 
hold orgies for the USC football team in which she serviced 
the entire team."

Damon laughed. "So Nancy had slept with the entire Scarlet 
Knights?"

"Nah," I said, also laughing. "I don't know about Clara Bow, 
but Nancy never served the entire team. As a matter of fact, I 
don't think she'd slept with many people while she was here. 
You know Simon O'Carroll?"

"Yeah, he was our quarterback. He's with the Patriot now but 
he's not playing a lot of minutes."

"Yeah," I said. "He'd been her boyfriend for a while."

"Oh. So is she sexy? Have you slept with her?"

"Oh yeah, she's sexy. She has bedroom eyes. And no, I've never 
slept with her."

"Okay. So do you know Coach's nephew, too?"

"Yeah. He's also a Rutgers Alma Mater. He didn't play any 
sports though. He was a year ahead of me and had tutored me in 
a couple Biology courses."

"Oh I see," Damon said. "Hey, I'm hungry. Have you had lunch yet?"

"No," I said. "Okay, let's go." We went for the cafeteria 
instead of the lounge.

That evening when I checked the venue of the upcoming wedding 
and remembered what I told Damon earlier, I knew I had that 
smile again.

I had never told anyone that I actually had slept with Nancy 
Hunters. Often the players would brag about their sexual 
encounters to other players and friends, and I had done it on 
a few occasions, while I was still the school team's wide 
receiver. However, at the time I had sex with the popular 
cheerleader of the Scarlet Knights, Nancy was my quarterback 
Simon's girlfriend, and it would be very unwise to disclose my 
affair with the sexy blonde.

Nancy didn't just have bedroom eyes. You don't want to be 
wearing jeans when she's in her cheerleaders outfit in front 
of you, because it'll be very easy to develop blue balls. On 
the other hand, it's equally not a good idea to be in football 
pants while she's wearing anything that would show off her 
legs, because everyone will know you're having the Nancy 
Hunters syndrome, our expression for a big hard-on. The 
toughest part was that Nancy almost always dressed in a way 
most of her thighs would be exposed.

My ex-girlfriend Maria was also a cheerleader and so we used 
to hang out pretty often together with Simon and Nancy. I was 
injured in a game during my sophomore year and suffered severe 
Colles' wrist fracture. I was eventually sidelined for the 
entire season after my surgery. I still saw my teammates a 
lot, but after broken off with Maria I didn't hang out with 
the cheerleaders much. Instead of the football field or the 
gym, my most frequently visited sports-related venue had 
become the physiotherapy clinic.

I was very surprised one day when I saw Nancy at the clinic 
while I was waiting for my treatment.

"What happened to you?" I asked Nancy, while studying her. It 
was the first time I saw her in jeans.

"Low back spasm," she said, smiling. "How have you been? I 
haven't seen you for a while."

I raised my left arm. "The screws are starting to rust," I 
said. "How bad is your spasm?"

Nancy chuckled. "Need any WD40 for your screws?"

"Sure, if you have some spares. How's your back?"

"Well," Nancy sighed. "Still hurts when I bend. I'm now off 
the roster for at least two weeks."

I didn't know why I started painting a mental picture of Nancy 
bending in front of me in her cheerleader outfit. It was nice 
that she wasn't wearing a short skirt, or I'd begin developing 
the Nancy Hunters syndrome. In fact, her jeans wasn't even the 
typical tight ones made for girls like her.

"I haven't seen you in jeans much," I said.

"Do I look good?"

"Of course," I said, and rose as the woman behind the desk 
waved at me. "Excuse me," I told Nancy.

The woman told me it was my turn. I motioned Nancy over. "Let 
her have her treatment first," I said to the woman. "She's 
having a lot of pain."

Nancy smiled at me before she followed the woman into a 
treatment room.

When I came back to the reception area after my treatment, 
Nancy was still there reading a book.

"Why are you still here, Nancy?" I said.

"Do you want to have lunch together?"

"Sure."

We had lunch together, and then Nancy said she needed to go 
for her afternoon class.

Nancy turned around after taking a step from her chair. "Are 
you going to watch the Sunday game?" she said.

"Of course," I said. "If they know I'm not watching, they'll 
strip my scholarship." Our team was going to play an away game 
at Pittsburgh.

Nancy chuckled. "Do you want to watch the game together?"

"Well, okay. Are you coming over? Do you want me to pick you up?"

"Why don't you call me up tonight?"

"Okay."

-------------------------------------------------

I was still in my bed the next morning when Nancy called me. 
She was giggling when I answered the phone.

"Too busy with your girl last night, huh?" she said. "You 
didn't call me."

I chuckled. "I'm sorry, Nancy. I forgot. No, I wasn't with a 
girl. I was with some friends drinking. I'm not with Maria 
anymore. You know that."

"Well, Maria starts with the letter M," she said, still 
giggling. "Where's your N-girl?"

"Oh, you mean Nancy?" I said playfully, and chuckled again.

Nancy burst out laughing. "Say it again when your bud is 
here," she said.

"I do that all the time. You know that."

"Yeah, yeah," she said. "Anyway. Do you want to have lunch 
together before watching the game?"

"Hmm. Are you paying?"

She giggled. "I don't get a big scholarship like you guys have."

"What time?"

"Game starts at four. What about two?"

-------------------------------------------------

Nancy wasn't wearing jeans when I went to pick her up for the 
Sunday lunch. She was wearing a long skirt, which meant it did 
cover her ass well. I cursed as I forgot to beat myself off 
before leaving home. I was also very starved because I didn't 
have breakfast yet.

When we got to the restaurant Nancy suggested, there weren't 
many customers inside. We had the unusual privilege on a 
Sunday to pick our seat. We took a table at the side with 
bench couch.

As usual we were joking and having light flirts before and 
during our meal. Nancy slapped my hand when she giggled. After 
I applied the tactic of withdrawing my hands, she began 
kicking me under the table. I didn't mind being kicked gently, 
but when she began raising her feet higher to kick the 
underneath of my lap, guided by her shin along my leg, it 
became a little too much.

I wasn't sure if I had too much root beer, but I felt the need 
of a bathroom break. I switched topic to talk with Nancy on 
some course works to allow myself to cool down a little before 
I told her I needed to go to the washroom.

"Actually, I need it too," Nancy said, and slide to the edge 
of the bench.

"Lady first," I said, as I didn't want her to notice my 
physical embarrassment, which didn't go away during the cool 
off period.

I was considering if I should simply beat myself off as I 
stepped into the tiny men's room. I knew it wouldn't take long 
anyway. I swung the door closed behind me.

Before I could turn the knob, the door opened again. I saw 
Nancy's smiling face. Then she stepped inside through the 
partially open door and closed it behind her.

I was a few seconds late in asking the intuitive question. "Is 
the ladies room occupied?" I said, then realized how dumb I 
was. "What're you doing here?" I asked another dumb question.

Nancy smiled slyly at me. "Are you going to beat off?" she 
said, as she turned the knob to lock the door.

I wasn't a virgin, and I wasn't a kid, but I felt my face 
heating up. I then felt my body heating up as I felt her 
finger on my bulge.

"Maybe I can give you a hand," Nancy said, smiling, while 
leaning forward.

I wasn't gay, and I wasn't a saint. I held her in my arms and 
starting kissing her passionately. I began cupping her ass 
cheeks and pressed my body against hers. I raked her skirt up 
until I could reach her panties, and started pulling then 
down, while Nancy struggled to open my jeans.

My underwear and my jeans were only down to my knees when 
Nancy took my cock into her hand and started stroking it. I 
reached for her ass again and raised her up a little until the 
position was right, then I shoved forcefully inside her. I 
didn't know what made her so wet, the flirt, the kicking, or 
my kiss. It was a hell of a smooth and joyful drive.

Nancy clenched her arms around my neck, wrapped her legs 
around my waist, and sucked my tongue as I pumped myself in 
and out of her. Moments later she was clinching onto me 
tightly, and alternated sucking me lips or gnashing her teeth 
from moaning.

I didn't last long. I didn't know if I was too horny, or my 
bladder was too full, or was it because I had never had sex in 
a public place before. I didn't know if Nancy had come either. 
I made a few more strokes with my deflating cock inside her 
while kissing her before we disengaged. I put back my 
underwear and jeans while she cleaned herself up. I picked up 
her panties for her. She didn't put back her panties, but 
stuff them into my pocket.

I opened the door a little to make sure nobody was outside, 
and then motioned her to get out of the washroom with me.

Needless to say, the first thing happened when I took her to 
my apartment was to have sex with her again in my bed. I was 
still with her in my bed when the game started.

"Hey," Nancy said, while playing with my limp manhood. "Have 
you ever had sex in the locker room?"

"No," I said, chuckling, while stroking her breasts. "Have you?"

"Yeah," she said, smiling. "The first time was when I was in 
high school, and it was right before the half time break. If 
he had come a little later, we'd have been expelled." She giggled.

I laughed. "Did you come?"

"In the locker room? Or at the restaurant?" she said, smiling 
slyly at me.

"Both."

"No," she said, while pinching my scrotum.

"Do you do it a lot?"

"Well," Nancy said, giggling. "A little. Do you like it?"

"I don't know," I said, chuckling. "Well, I think it's 
exciting, and also, you know, a little scary."

"You've never done it before?"

"Only inside the car."

Nancy giggled again. She thought briefly. "You're coming to 
next week's game, aren't you?"

"Of course I am. Aren't' you?"

"Have you ever been to our locker room? I mean the 
cheerleaders one."

"Of course not," I said.

"Go there after half time."

It was then I remembered this girl in my bed was my friend and 
teammate's girlfriend. I must have displayed a hesitating 
expression.

"You're not telling him, are you?" she said, giggling.

"He won't do it?"

"Not in the dressing room, and actually, he can't, unless he 
sprang himself on purpose."

I was still wordless.

"Well," Nancy said lazily. "Was Maria your only woman when you 
were with her?"

I knew my face was heating up again. It took me quite a while 
to admit it. "No," I said.

"Am I the only woman he has?"

I chuckled. It was apparent she already knew the correct 
answer, so I didn't have to cover up. "No," I said promptly.

Nancy smiled sweetly at me. "After half time?" she said, while 
playing with my balls.

"After half time," I said, smiling at her, and resumed 
stroking her breasts.

"And until I have my orgasm?"

"Sure," I said, chuckling.

We maintained our affair behind Simon's back for a couple 
months. We mostly had sex in public places, where Nancy 
enjoyed the excitement the most. we stopped doing it after I 
started going out with another girl. We still talked and 
flirted occasionally, but never into any intimate situation 
anymore. About a year later Nancy split with Simon.

I saw Nancy together with Edwin, my biology tutor and the 
nephew of the football team head coach, a few months before 
her Senior year final exam. She called me that night telling 
me she was experiencing a new horizon of a serious and 
monopolized relationship. We also talked about a lot other 
things. she even teased me about some moments during our 
previous affair, but made it clear the only future sexual 
thing between she and me was that I could think about her 
while beating myself off.

Edwin came back to Rutgers to take up a laboratory job shortly 
after I became an athletic trainer of the football team. 
Because Edwin's uncle was now my boss, we came together quite 
often. About six months later Edwin was offered a forensic lab 
job at Newark with better pay and benefit, and from then on we 
started seeing each other less often.

-------------------------------------------------

A month or so before I received the wedding invitation, I 
found a message on my answering from Edwin when I came home. I 
returned the call. Edwin was not at home, but Nancy answered 
my call and told me the news. I congratulated her and we 
talked for about half an hour before hanging up. Later that 
night, Edwin called me again, and we talked for another 
fifteen minutes. I also agreed to be an usher at the ceremony.

I didn't expect to see Nancy and her sister Pat at the Bridal 
& Tuxedo shop when I went there to pick up my usher attire a 
couple weeks before her wedding. They were there for a minor 
alternation of her wedding gown. I was about to go into the 
fitting room when Pat's pager buzzed. She checked the message.

"Nancy," she said. "I got to go now. There's a derailment."

"Okay," Nancy said, then she turned to me. "Alex, do you mind 
giving me a ride home?"

"No, of course no."

"Thanks, Alex," Pat said. "Sorry, Alex. Sorry, Nancy. I'll 
call you later tonight." She then left.

"What does she do?" I asked Nancy when Pat went out of the shop.

"She works for the PR department of the NJ Transit."

"Oh, I see. I'll try on this tux and then I'll take you home."

"Let me see how you look in it."

"Okay."

When I came out of the fitting room in my rental tux, Nancy 
smiled at me and said, "You look very nice in it. How's the 
fitting?"

I turned around in front of the mirror while the saleslady 
looked me up and down, and pulling the corner of my tux here 
and there. "Fits very nicely," she said.

I smiled at the saleslady, then at Nancy, before I went back 
to the fitting room to change back.

"Where's Edwin?" I said as we went out of the shop.

"Still at work," Nancy said. "He's been pretty busy these few 
weeks. Everyone's sending materials over even if it's a pet 
abuse case."

I chuckled with her. "So are you nervous?"

"Well, I don't know," she said, with a sigh. "I don't think 
I'm really nervous, but the pressure, gee, it's tough. What's 
worse is that he's so busy at work lately that I'm doing 
almost everything by myself."

"Well, once it's over, and you're on the Bermuda cruise, you 
can relax and enjoy."

She giggled. "Yeah, I'm longing to that moment. Hey, I haven't 
had anything since breakfast. Will you buy me something to eat?"

"I'm starving, too," I said. "You pick a place. I don't know 
Newark that much."

"I'll show you which restaurant we're going to have the 
bridesmaids' luncheon."

"Okay."

It was a nice small restaurant she took me to. The atmosphere 
and lighting were very relaxing.

"I forgot to ask if you're dating," Nancy said while we waited 
for our food.

"No, not for like a few months."

"Gee," she said, giggling. "It looks like you change dates 
once every three months."

"No really," I said, chuckling. "But you can't control this 
thing, can you?"

Nancy giggled. "Depends on what thing."

I chuckled again. "Not many customers here now. Is it because 
it's a Monday?"

"I don't know," she said, and paused while the waitress served 
the food. "I actually haven't been here much. It's Pat's 
suggestion."

"I see. Toast!" I said and took my glass of draft in my hand.

Nancy clanged her cocktail glass gently at my glass. "Toast! 
Thanks."

After the main dish, Nancy said. "I think I forgot your 
ex-girlfriend's name. Was she Judie or Julie?"

"Julie."

"How come you're not following the alphabet?" she said, smiling.

I chuckled again. "Well, Sometimes not. I think I'll pick a 
K-girl next time though."

"Hey," Nancy said, lowering her voice. "Did you do it in 
public with Julie a lot?"

I chuckled once again, and also lowered my voice. "Never. She 
didn't like it. You?"

"Nah," she said, giggling, with a little pink on her face. 
"He's a chicken in this department."

I nearly laughed out loud. I turned my head to check if there 
were many customers at tables near us. All adjacent tables 
were empty.

I was about to grab my draft when I felt Nancy kicking me 
underneath the table. "What?" I said.

Nancy smiled at me, but didn't say anything. Well, not with 
her mouth. Instead of kicking me, she was running her instep 
along my leg. I began breathing a little faster.

I had been feeling composed all the time since I saw Nancy at 
the shop. She was wearing a poplin full skirt that hit just 
below her knees. The reminder that she was marrying a friend 
had kept me from any wild imagination at her. All these had 
now broke down, and I knew I was developing a bulge.

I believed Nancy was feeling something. Her smile had 
disappeared. She was looking straight into my eyes, with her 
mouth slightly opened, and the tip of her tongue was visible 
licking her lips. She continued stroking my leg and calf with 
her instep.

Finally she broke the silence. "The ladies room," she said 
softly. Then she rose from her seat and went toward the back.

I had wanted to struggle, but apparently I failed, even before 
I started trying. I waited a little while in my seat, but it 
was mainly because I hoped my bulge would ease off a little 
before I followed Nancy. It didn't work.

The ladies room door was slightly opened, which clearly meant 
Nancy was alone inside. I tapped on the door after checking 
nobody was watching me. She opened the door for me. It was a 
small washroom with only one toilet in it, which made it a 
perfect place for our activity.

Nancy locked the door once I stepped inside, and I held her in 
my arms, sucking her lips and tongue, running my fingers all 
over her back and ass, and pressing myself against her. Very 
soon I was stroking her thighs underneath her lifted-up skirt, 
and she was slipping a hand between our bodies to open my pants.

We didn't break our kiss while her panties fell onto her feet, 
and my pants and brief slid down my leg. A few seconds later I 
was shoving inside her, while gripping her ass cheeks and she 
wrapping tightly around me. She had broken the kiss since I 
began shoving, and instead had been looking steadily at my 
eyes, starting from smiling to biting her teeth.

Even though I had not had sex in a while, it was still a very 
big and remarkable orgasm when I shot inside her. I also knew 
she had come, moments before I did, from the expression on her 
face and eyes. It took quite a while for both of us to subside.

I took Nancy back to her home after the dinner. I didn't go 
inside. We knew it would be a very stupid thing to do so. 
Nancy, however, wanted me to accompany her to the church, 
where her wedding ceremony would be held, for a 'final 
inspection' the next day.

I called in sick the next morning. I took her to the church, 
and we had sex in the ladies room.

"Wow," Nancy said when we were driving away from the parking 
lot. "It's the first time I've done it in the church. Gosh, I 
want to know how it feels if we do it on the altar."

I laughed. "And while you're in your wedding gown, huh?"

She giggled. "That will be perfect. I'm still trying to make 
him change his mind to do it with me while I'm in my gown. 
What a waste if it goes to the laundry without any stain?"

A few days before her wedding, Nancy called me. "Can you come 
over here tomorrow morning, before eight?"

"What for?"

"Well," She said, after a brief hesitation. "You'll be the one 
to do it with me while I'm in my gown. Too bad it can't be in 
the church."

I actually didn't like her idea very much, but I gave her my 
promise before I realized.

I went over to her place the next morning. She was already in 
her wedding gown waiting for me. We had to do it very 
carefully so that no stain would be left on her gown. It was 
not as enjoyable as I had expected, although it was still 
marvelous when I exploded deep inside her, and knowing she had 
her part before I did.

I helped Nancy clean up and take off her gown afterward. She 
took a shower with me before she changed to her street 
clothes. I kissed her again before we had to go. She was going 
to her parent's place and I was going back to my work.

-------------------------------------------------

I was handing out ceremony programs to the guests at the 
church when my mobile phone buzzed. My older brother called to 
tell me that my mom had a lower abdominal pain and was just 
sent to the hospital. I found Edwin and told him what 
happened. I left the ceremony after saying sorry and him 
patting my shoulder. I promised him I would join him at the 
reception if my mom was fine.

My mom was alright. It seemed she had eaten some contaminated 
food she had been keeping in the fridge when my brother was 
dining out the day before. Nevertheless, I still waited until 
the doctor released her. I was still at my brother's house 
when my phone buzzed. Another usher called me, informing me 
that the wedding reception had been canceled.

A bridesmaid needed to use the ladies room before the 
ceremony. She found Nancy having sex with the best man inside. 
Nancy and the guy were trapped together by a muscle spasm. 
They couldn't get separated, even with the help of the 
bridesmaid. The groom and guests were endured to help, but 
without success. The couple eventually had to be sent to the 
hospital.

Nancy was given injection to relax her muscles, allowing the 
best man to get free. The wedding ceremony was canceled, so 
was the reception. My mom nearly caught her second abdominal 
pain of the day from severe laughter when I told her the story.

-------------------------------------------------

A few months later, I got an unexpected call from Nancy.

"You know," She said, after the greeting lines. "I had never 
been so embarrassed." She giggled before going on. "The only 
good thing was that it wasn't you who was trapped with me."

It took me a while to stop laughing with her. "I bet it was 
the toughest period of your life following that incident."

"Tell me about it," she said. "I'm glad they didn't publish my 
name in the news." She laughed again.

"So how have you been?" I said, after the laughter.

"Well," Nancy said. "I moved away from Newark the next day."

"I know you moved away, but nobody I know had a clue where you 
went."

"I'm now living in Las Vegas," she said, and let out a sigh 
before going on. "I don't do it in public places anymore."

I laughed with her again. "I hope you're living happily now."

"Yeah," she said. "Took quite a while to get over with it, and 
to start a new life here. But I'm doing fine now. I'm going 
out with a guy who won't do it outside as well."

"I'm glad to hear that."

"Once in a while I still miss you," she said. "You know, the 
excitements." She giggled. "But it's the past. Well, not all 
are the past, I still consider you a friend."

"Me too," I said, smiling at my phone. "Yeah, you are a 
lovable friend."

Nancy giggled. "Thanks, Alex," she said. "But then, why aren't 
you asking for my phone number?"

I chuckled. "What is your phone number?"

-------------------------------------------------

- End -
    

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