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From: Charles <slicktrick@msn.com>
Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.bondage
Subject: Vaseline Vendetta
Date: Fri, 12 Aug 2005 12:04:53 -0500
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This is adult reading. Be an adult and read it.
Authors Note: Vaseline is a registered trademark for Cheseborough Ponds products and the trademark should not be abused.
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Geoff couldn't believe it. The fifth test being crucial for the day would be the one he'd remember to make him a rich man. Of course his identity would be changed by himself. He'd simply open a new checking account at a bank with the new name using counterfiet identification and falsify a death certificate and even buy a grave stone at a local cemetary. One thing that was with him on this get rich finally scheme was that he worked at the morgue and paperwork was plentiful, if you know what I mean. But now after confirming the texture and the consistancy..he took a break to celebrate. He made his favoite alchoholic beverage and sat down to some breaking news on the television.
All things in good time though. First he had to put the product on the shelf..and do it without help from anyone lest the project be discovered.
He made fifty bottles and falsified the labels. He put them on store shelves as a distributor using again, fake I.D.
The fake I.D. business came in handy in his hobby. He was accomplished and didn't do anything that required federal review.
Most people accepted a picture I D of some kind anyway. By putting a logo in front of it and doing his homework to make it look credible under scruitiny Most un-trained types (store managers, and desk employees) took him at his word.
He used the standard pull off stuff and never ever used the same vehicle in the same county when he rented a rig.
What was really important was the little trigger device that he worked on. It was the size of a small pearl andwhen slipped against human tissue, anal or otherwise, would cling permanently withstanding even a good bowel movement.
Just for fun he put allot of the tubs in stores in suburbs and in the city of Detroit. He wanted Arabs to use it and it had special metallic platelets in it which when activated could blow a soul up.
It had been six years since his Dad lost his life in New York at the Twin Towers and he was just as bad as Osama bin Laden.. but he was all American, pro-American..and he needed to prove it.
He distributed one shipment to the schools in the area knowing that those boys in the swim team would find a suitable Arab Kid to give him a good anal fixation.
He even included the pearl trigger as a free gift with purchase. Put on a Vaseline tub as a gift allowed all the sex fiends to figure out what to do with it.
Some good looking white chicks got devestated on button day..but the losses were necessary. Some pedophiles and fat people who farted allot also met their fate. By the time the Feds figured it out, he'd be in some Caribbean Island where he couldn't be extrodited from.
Life was very good for awhile, he sold the formula to the company after he had placed the necessary tubs in the various stores nationwide.
Sure enough after a few phone dials on his cell phone, the news station started to report strange accidents where people wearing no clothing or having no wires or bombs on their person were being blown apart int the city of Detroit.
His new name and the death of his old identity kept him from capture. He would never make another formula, his secret was safe. Safe, for as long as he could keep his mouth closed.
Thinking of all the fags, Arabs, and Jews using his product.
Making those phonecalls were fun. Each pearl had the same phone number.
He did this for five years..The feds never figured it out, they blamed it on Osama bin Laden. They found the asshole that much sooner.
Finally, justice by his means as necessary.
He promised to vote Republican again in the next election.