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Subject: Fantasy Vs. Reality In Incestuous Child/Parent & Similar Power Imbalance Relationships
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NNTP-Posting-Date: Thu, 17 Feb 2005 13:36:10 MST
Date: Thu, 17 Feb 2005 12:29:38 -0800
===================
Fantasy Vs. Reality In Incestuous Child/Parent & Similar Power Imbalance
Relationships
By
PlanetDweller
(inc, incest, nosex, no sex, sexual language, opinion, op-ed piece)
Over the years of writing erotic stories intended for the adult reading
public only that deal with the very real real-world issue of
parent/child incestuous relationships I've gotten not just many severe
flames but also a couple of actual death threats threatening to track me
down somehow and kill me because they thought I was somehow promoting
real-life child/parent incestuous sexual contact. Nothing could or can
be further from the truth.
Yes, I do write about parent/child incestuous contact a lot in many of
my stories, and I also write about many other what I call "power
imbalance" situations such as sexual relations between an adult
consensually "teaching" a child or young adolescent about sex, the
consensual power imbalance between a therapist and patient, a usually
coercive in nature but sometimes consensual boss/employee power
imbalance, and yes my famous I should say infamous stories about alien
abductions of humans and their sexual experimentations on them. I make
the point that even between consenting adults there usually isn't an
exact 50/50 division of power within the relationship or at least most
aspects of the relationship, pop psychology and liberal political
correctness mutual drivelings about otherwise aside.
There is a huge difference between the fantasy of child/parent sexual
contact that I and many of my fellow writers of online erotica portray
and the reality of the horrors of actual real-life incestual abuse
situations.
When I portray incest scenes, the parent is almost always loving and
kind and sees their sexual contact with their children as a
mentor-to-pupil process, the parent while usually enjoying the sex
itself with their child, their main focus is on the healthy evolution of
their child along their path into adulthood, their own sexual needs,
wants and desire always being placed secondary or less in their own
minds. While not totally self-less on their part, the parent figure in
these cases always projects a positive benefit and outcome to their
sexualizing of their own child.
In the world outside of fantasy erotic fiction, the reality of the
horror of parent/child incest is just that, a true horror. My own
real-life family tree is riddled with the many rotten soul excuses for
human beings that incest'd their own children not from a point of action
of empowering the inner growth of their children but from a sense of
lack of self-worth and self-respect, a sense of self-love being totally
absent from these parents' identities and often times this lack of
self-love of which the forced incestuous contact was a part of was also
manifest in the parents' lives in other ways via exhibition of other
self-destructive behaviors such as severe alcohol abuse, drug abuse, and
violence against other adults let alone their own kids, because that's
what these incestual encounters were manifest as, a form of mental and
sometimes forced physical violence against their own children. These
beyond less-than-miserable excuses of human beings used their positions
of power within their family structures to force a form of violence
against their own kids, their position of being atop the power imbalance
"pyramid" giving them the opportunity, means, and method to seek to fill
holes in their soul with the innocence stolen from their very own children.
I don't care who you are, if you're a human being there's a part of your
genetic code that creates a reaction of extreme nausea followed by
extreme rage when you hear a real-world story on the news about how a
parent, yes usually a father but sometimes a mother as well, inflicting
severe sexual abuse on say, an infant or a two-year-old or similar for
example. If you're not angry when you hear a news report about how a
father raped his own three-year-old daughter or six-year-old or
nine-year-old daughter and so physically and mentally destroyed her
sense of self and sense of protection that the parent-child relationship
is supposed to offer and sense of self-worth and self-love in that
child, can you honestly tell me that when you hear of the real-life
horrors of real-life incest that your first reaction isn't complete
outrage? If you try to tell me that, then I'll tell you are either lying
to me and/or yourself or that you truly are a dangerous sociopath, yourself.
Are there, can there be, have there been instances between a
parent/parents and child/children of real-life incestuous contact that
proved very positive for the child/children involved and maybe even the
parents too? Yes, of course. But those instances were/are so truly rare
as to not be worth mentioning. The fact that one-tenth-of-one-percent or
less of real-life incestuous cases at minimum did no harm to the child
and maybe even did some positive good does not justify the fact that in
those other 99.9%"+" cases the child involved had such a huge trauma
inflicted upon them that their very being was negatively affected if not
devastated for their rest of their lives through what was left of their
childhood into adulthood and the bell still ringing harshly even into
their senility.
And the fact that this tiny, tiny percent of cases where the outcome was
positive when there was a positive motivating force behind the actions
of the parents involved belies the fact that in these cases the positive
outcome was a "happy accident" no matter how misguided but
well-intentioned the respective parents' motivations were. A child is an
individualized work-in-progress where no one not even the parents know
the exact psychological, physical and holistic synergies of their child
and to dare cross such a genetic-based anti-incest-boundary that is
present in every single human being on this planet is not just the
height of arrogance and hubris but also is plain fucking stupid.
When a parent, however well-grounded and normal and mature otherwise
psychologically they might be takes on the responsibility of forcing the
natural evolutionary path that's programmed into all of us by the forced
sexual promulgation of early sexual activity upon their child and the
child either suffers no short or long-term negative effects from it and
perhaps if the world is lucky as a whole might even obtain something
positive from it, then the result is a "happy accident", not a result of
anything the parent actually did of a positive sexual nature with their
child.
It's like someone who is an untrained chemist decides that they have the
instinctual knowledge to go into a research lab and by the grace of God
only start mixing bunches of chemicals together in the vain and hubric
hope that the witch's brew of mixed-together dangerous chemicals that
they have no clue what they're blending together might actually do will
be the cure for cancer or an elixir of youth or some other bizarre and
unrealistic product instead of highly probably since they have no clue
as to what they are doing just as no one can know the true
soul-chemistry of any other human being let alone a child creating an
end product that usually poisons and hurts those involved if not often
times destroying the lives of all involved with an unexpected explosion
of unexpected consequences.
When there is no power imbalance, though, such as in routine sexplay
between children of the same age group, then their respective personal
sexual evolutions progress normally as they should. In other words, kids
"playing doctor" with each other is normal, a parent playing
gynecologist or urologist to their kids is not.
Within the social framework of childhood progression, children will seek
out the knowledge of sex when and where it most appropriate for them, no
matter if parents want to accelerate or more usually in the vast
majority of families all over the globe in all cultures and countries
want to decelerate their children's sexual education and evolution
because the nature of being a parent is to protect and nurture their
children and most adult parents instinctively, genetically know that
sexual knowledge and sexual contact should happen only when a child has
reached a certain level of personal maturity, prepubescence being a
universal benchmark of said lack of maturity and oftentimes even early
post-pubertal stages also being recognized as being too early in most
children's evolving as a starting point for the beginnings of what will
become their real-time sexual path into adulthood.
Are there certain, highly unusual situations where direct hands-on
sexual therapy between child and adult sex therapist could either heal
the negative product of true incest or other sexual abuse? Yes, but
those cases would be so rare that they're not even worth mentioning.
It's one thing for me to write about those kinds of cases in my own
erotic stories as vehicles for fantasy exploration and to try to help
heal the very real adult victims of past childhood incest and sexual
abuse who might be reading those stories and using what I write as a
means to explore and analyze and hopefully come to grips and help heal
themselves by using their vehicle of their imagination to re-work and
re-program themselves so that by reading about how a hands-on sex
therapist helps heal a child who's been a victim of incest and abuse in
turn helps heal the child still within the adult who happens to be
reading one of my stories.
That's why I began writing my stories about the positive influences of
adult therapist/child patient and benevolent-loving
parent/unusually-mature-for-their-age children sexual contact, in order
to help my mission of trying to help heal others. Little did I realize
then what I know now which is that as I was writing for my own
self-imposed goal of helping to heal others of the past traumas of
childhood sexual abuse that I actually was creating the vehicle to heal
myself.
Afterword
comments = Aloha,
I've just read your 'article' entitled "Fantasy vs Reality..."
Basically, you hit the proverbial "nail on the head" in terms of how
the erotic stories written on sites such as yours, (which are
enjoyed by
many 'well-adjusted' adults)are, in fact, fundamentally different and
should always be viewed with that perspective in mind.
I'm an adult, a father and a grandfather and would be so mad at my kids
if they ever hurt their kids in a sexual way. However, if a "happy
accident" or one of a particularly 'right' circumstance were to
happen I'd
probably never find out. Why? Because as long as society looks towards
that particular 'union' the way it does, why would my son or my
daughter announce that they enjoy a sexual relationship with their own
children? Especially when they were never sexually abused or used
or even
sexually involved (in a healthy way) with me or their mother? Did
we fail
them in the way we viewed consensual loving sex with two human beings?
Did the morals of our time (and those handed down to us through the
years via religious mores that prevail in America's society)
influence us
so badly that we didn't even think to even broach the subject?
Sometimes, I feel I've failed my children because I wasn't as
open-minded about things when they were growing up, as I am now and
have been
since their mother and I split up years ago.
I've been blessed with the children that I have and the children
they've had. I treasure all their lives and their souls and their
hearts and
only want to protect them from the horrors of real life. Soon enough
they'll learn just how fucked up the world is. But, I'd rather they
read
stories about loving situations rather than listen to bullshit rap
lyrics that incite them to shoot at innocent people and call women
"bitches
and ho's".
I'm a fan of erotica. I'm a fan of adult fiction and of course adult
situations. I'm also an anonymous donor of asstr.org as well as a
paying
member of storiesonline.net.
The reason I tell you these things about myself is because, although I
want my grandchildren to grow up healthy and as 'normal' as they can
be, I also want them to be able to have a choice as to what is out
there
for them in the future.
I think the whole idea behind democracy was originally to keep those
soapbox standing, bible thumping hypocrites that seem to run the world
then (and even now) from having the power to tell other free thinking
individuals what to do, say, think or feel.
Child abuse is just that, abusive and should be severely punished. Just
as rape and any other violent crime. But, as we grow older we've
learned that a 'healthy' attitude about sex does contain some of those
elements. NOT abuse of children mind you, but of power over another
in a
sexual situation. If that weren't true we'd have no fetish clubs or
BDSM
clubs, etc.
The point to this longwinded email is to thank you for saying those
things you have in your 'article.
I enjoyed it a lot and appreciate you for the courage and
thoughtfulness in writing it.
Before I close, I'd like to share one thing that I was taught when I
was going to Nam. A very wise man told me that everyone is taught "Thou
shalt not kill". He even told me that killing was wrong. When I
expressed the fear I had about killing another human being even in
war, he
simply he asked me this, "Would you kill a man just because he came
into
your yard?" I said, "No of course not"
"Ok, what if he came to steal something from you?"
Again I said, "No, though I'd probably give a beating he wouldn't
forget"
Then he asked me, "What if the person was trying to hurt your family?"
I just said, "Most likely I'd have no problem with killing him then"
Then he said, "Well, when you go to Nam, you're gonna go to someone
else's yard and although you're going to help them they're gonna
look at
you as though you're trying to hurt them and take something away from
them. Then you'll have to decide if you can shoot back or not!"
He smiled at me and told me how proud he was of me for being man enough
to serve my country and go to a war that wasn't popular. Duty and Honor
were what he taught me.
The man is gone now but I loved him like no other. He was my father.
He never abused me.
Take care.
Anonymous ~ Name Reserved By Request
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