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From: Nicholas R Forystek <nforystek@sosouix.net>
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Subject: To Kill A Rose by Nick Forystek
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===================
To Kill a Rose
- by Nick Forystek
A Couple Destine For Things
Shane is your typical fourteen year old pretty boy. He is considered
the preppy type in school and although there is not much going on up stairs
there is something about him every girl desires. Not only is it his boyish
good looks but it is also his cunning ability to speak directly to the heart
of every teenage girl that makes him well known among the popular girls and
guys. It is as if when he walks down the hall minding his own there is a
opposite reaction applied to the men he passes that make their heads turn
away while their girlfriends all catch a glance of him. Yet he has no idea,
and why should he when he can pursue any women he wants. So naturally
through some sort of twisted selection of the fittest that teenagers in high
school go through he already has the most beautiful girl in the school as
his girlfriend. It's your classic prom king and prom queen story.
Jessica who, at age fourteen, is Shane's queen to be and she is the
one girl that makes every teenage boy fantasize at least once in his life.
She is the definition of a day-dream, the inspiration that later manifests
into love songs. She is the one girl that is so exclusive not a single guy
would turn her down, which consequently is why she has only a single guy.
Through out her entire high school years she had only one man as her
boyfriend at any given time and that one man would be a fool to even think
of leaving her. Not only because she has a waiting line complete with
bouncers to hold guys back but also because she is as loyal as is beautiful.
Shane and Jessica's love did not start when they spoke their first
words to each other. Their love was cultivated long before that. They were
just two young kids viewing each other from a distance which took some time
to solidify into a concrete relationship. At first Shane felt he was just
any other man dreaming of a girl that was not necessarily out of his league
but out of his grasp. Jessica on the other hand saw Shane from a very
different perspective. She looked into the sea of people she swam with and
picked him out as if random had nothing to do with the game of fishing. It
was quite a while before the two had switched gears in the company they keep
before they landed on the same island with the same friends. This was mostly
Jessica's doing in her predetermined quest to ultimately end up with Shane
as she made sacrifices with great determination.
The love between these two had been strong for two years. It was as
if they were comfortably pushed into a heaven together that neither had ever
experienced. Rightfully so this is a young pair of love birds who previously
had little or no relationship experience with anyone. They are extremely
loyal to each other and it was as if the strength came from their being so
desired in a singular fashion that they knew one with out the other would
have no problem moving on. This created a sense of need for each other
followed by a sense of security with in their relationship.
This couple went to a small town school which was surrounded by many
other small towns. The towns were centralized around a moderately large lake
which attracted all sorts of people from the richest of the rich to the
poorest of the poor. The kids attending the school reflected this diversity
in both wealth and culture. The poor kids hanged out with the poor while the
rich kids antagonized them. There was a group of rejects coined "the folk"
who were a gang of skateboarding thieves who were space cases due to all the
drugs they used. The rival to the folk like many school settings were the
jocks who were a bunch of no-neck weight lifting bullies. There was a
special class setup for the learning impaired which taught the children with
every mental disability from A.D.H.D. to retardation. The school itself had
financial problems due to referendums being shot down by the majority
population in the area voting no because they have no children attending the
school. Cut backs in supplies and teachers, were made multiple times.
The particular town that Jessica and Shane lived in could only be
described as "tiny" at the time. No one would have ever anticipated the
developmental face lift in the commercial district the town would undergo in
the future making the town thrive quite a bit. The pulse going through this
town at the time could be described as flat lined. The kids were early
starters in alcoholism and drugs following close in their parent's
footsteps. In fact an acronym to the name of the town widely known by all
its citizens included the word drug. The other small towns around the lake
were not much different aside from the lack of any commercial development at
all, and even further out from these towns and the lake was vast lands of
farms and roads that seemed to go nowhere.
Jessica grew up in this town in the lower class range and she was
the exception to reflection rule of her parents. She had many qualities of
her mother but held no qualities from that from her father. Her mother a
nice women occasionally had a temper that was only brought on by the abuse
she endured from Jessica's father. Her father was extremely strict and
although Jessica was never abused this was because she kept her distance
emotionally. Jessica went to great length to hold back her expressions
against her father and as well she held back gratitude form her father. She
would sympathize with her mother silently to herself. She would watch her
younger brother attempt to counter act against their dad when he became
abusive but often her brother would suffer a bruise for it his actions.
Shane on the other hand was a spitting image of his father. His
parents were still happily married and he had and older sister and an older
brother. Shane didn't come from a wealthy family nor did he come from a poor
family. Shane for the most part got along with his brother and sister as
well as his parents. Although by nature his father is the typical type that
taught him never to shed a tear, his mother on the other hand could always
pull the emotion right out of him. This played a big part in Shane and
Jessica's relationship because he was the desire of every teenage daughter
mainly for reasons they didn't know themselves and only someone who was with
him could understand. He was for lack of a better term a momma's boy
disguised as the rough type. The type that runs his mouth and puts up his
guns in front of his male friends but tends to his girls ever need
emotionally when they have some privacy.
Not only is Jessica beautiful, but you couldn't find a nicer girl
then Jessica. She is the type that is so nice it almost seems like an act
and in her case it is definitely not an act. Her smile greets everyone she
meets with the same enthusiasm of the attitude life is grand even when
things aren't going her way. She has the perfect mask which also plays into
the reason men fall so quickly for her, because she never gave them the
chance to dislike her. In intoxicating personality is like a one-way trap to
friendliness. She is as bright as the sun in a dim lit room. She has a sort
of ignorance to her own charm. She could make even a gangster put down his
guns but she would never know it.
Shane on the other hand has a bit of a cocky side to him. He's the
type that thinks he's got it all, rightfully so maybe. His upbringing was a
safe and secure one so much that he really hasn't been exposed too much
danger therefore he is ignorant to the face of real danger. He is the type
of kid that knows not yet of the consequences of his behavioral actions. He
has a bully side to him and occasionally uses it to impress his friends who
are just like him in their relentless attempts to be king of the hill. He
and his friends is an exclusive bunch that only allows kids with this bully
type of attitude into their ranks.
Shane's group of friends would have you call them thugs and he often
hung out with kids older then him who could drive. They don't compare to the
type of street thugs you see in governmental projects across the United
States. Neither Shane nor his friends have ever seen a gun let alone robbed
someone. They do commit crimes though they are petty like such things as
stealing candy from the local gas station or vandalizing the face of a
retaining wall with spray paint. When it comes to other groups of kids in
the area I must push them up a notch because they do stand out from the rest
as the group nobody wants to mess with. They are only feared by the ranks of
reputation and not by actual force of actions they commit. An occasional
slap on the wrist is all Shane or his friends have ever experienced as far
as trouble with the law.
Jessica doesn't keep your usually company for the age of childhood
that she is in. She has female friends but she is closer to the friends
Shane keeps. At her age she should be running around malls with a group of
girls shopping all the time getting her hair and nails done but this is not
the case. The reason is because she experienced so much mental trauma from
her father's abusive ways that she actually attracts to strong men as
friends rather then females. It is twisted because most men who are abusive
are strong or feel the need to be strong which manifests into physical
violence and these are the type of friends she seeks as to feel secure with.
So while Shane's friends aren't abusive to her, they are in little ways
bullies that push around other kids and these are the people she feels
secure with.
Shane and Jessica are very active and they are constantly out and
about. Constantly found at both organized and non-organized functions for
their age group. They do things young kids do like go and hang out at the
local eatery, go swimming at the beach. They do the things couples do like
spend the evening together at the movies or enjoy the outdoor tapestry of a
city park. Behind the scene there are very active sexually as well. If their
parents had any idea of the things they do while alone they surely wouldn't
see each other. Like most parents with children that age their parents are
completely oblivious to the fact. Their sex life plays into their
relationship as being beyond great. Since both are desired by the opposite
sex so much you can only say they are the model couple, couples desire what
this couple has. In fact their relationship free of the delusions adulthood
brings to complicate things could only be described as perfect in all
aspects.
"Are we going to get married?" says Jessica to Shane. Shane looks
around to ensure what he is about to say is not overheard. "Yes, definitely"
says Shane as he smiles gazing into Jessica's eyes. Jessica turns her focus
back to the night sky. Just as Shane thinks the conversation is already over
hears Jessica says "When?" Shane responds "I don't know." Jessica again asks
a question "Are we going to have a child?" Shane having pondered the same
question to himself says "Yes, definitely." The repetitiveness of childhood
love takes over and Jessica asks "When?" Shane again responds "I don't
know." At the time Shane knew not that Jessica was inching her way to get
Shane to agree to have a baby with her. Jessica was looking to finalize
their relationship with a forever bond that a child brings to two parents.
Jumping the gun Jessica wanted nothing more then a child to call her own and
she wanted to have it with no one else but Shane.
Shane and Jessica were still living with their parents. Jessica, in
a very different situation then Shane, wanted out of her current life style
with her parents. She was tired of watching her mother and brother go
through the abuse from her father. She wanted to grow up far too fast while
Shane was content with where he was at yet he would follow Jessica to the
ends of the Earth for their relationship. Shane had it good at home but he
had it even better when he was with Jessica. Shane knew of the tension
Jessica went through at her home and it struck him hard. He was always
extending an offer for her to come live with him at his parents. Shane was
always talking to his parents about Jessica's troubles and he knew if he
mentioned that Jessica's parents started to get physical, she would be
allowed to come and stay. They had more then enough room they had a guest
house even. Jessica knew if she ran from her parents there would be no going
back.
Jessica's father was not fond of Shane. Shane was always showing up
at Jessica's house to pick her up. Shane always had an evil eye for her
father and her father could sense it. He would crack jokes about Shane being
less then a man. On one occasion Shane had some of his friends with him and
that boosted his confidence a bit and he nearly lost it and wanted to fight
Jessica's father. He would have if it weren't for Jessica pulling on his arm
dragging him outside. When Jessica wasn't around her father would talk trash
to her mother about Shane and her mother would just go with it in fear
rather then standing up against him. Somewhere deep down in the subconscious
of her father's mind he knows Shane is just the type for his daughter, this
is why continually patronizes him. The reason Shane takes it so differently
is because he hears of the abuse. If Jessica's father knew she told Shane of
the occurrences at their home, he no doubt would lay his hands on her too,
and likely even threaten Shane. For this reason is precisely why Shane tries
to control his temper around her father, the safety of Jessica.
Jessica in her heart wanted to stand up against her father as well
but knew she posed absolutely zero threat. So she began to explore other
ways of rebelling. The only way she could think of was to ultimately marry
Shane to get back at her father using an emotional attack rather then
physical. This is what brought her to question Shane about marriage. She
knew they were still too young to get married. There was one other avenue
she could take that nobody could stop her from doing. This avenue was the
idea of having a baby with Shane which would surely piss off her father. She
knew she didn't want to pull a fast one on Shane by her stopping to take her
women pills. She also knew Shane was shapeable like putty both from her
fingers and from her words.
Shane and Jessica are alone at Shane's house lying in bed when she
pops the question again skipping past the marriage part. "Would you have a
baby with me?" she says. Shane perplexed says "I already told you I would."
Jessica replies "No that's not what I mean." As she stares in his eyes he
gets her drift. "You mean right now?" says Shane. "Yes" she replies. Shane
pauses for a minute. Jessica says "Well? Do you really love me and want to
marry me?" Shane replies "You know I do." Jessica says "Then lets do it, I
want to have a baby." Shane says "That's a big step though." Jessica replies
"I've thought a lot about it, haven't you?" Shane stalls again pondering
then he says "Yes, actually I have, and to be honest I want what you want."
Having no idea what Jessica really wanted by posing the question Shane
agrees to have a baby with her.
Jessica's spirits are uplifted ten fold she is further then cloud
nine by Shane's agreeing to have a baby. Having a baby to Jessica is not
only a way to prove her commitment to Shane it is also an aspiration she has
had. The night Shane agreed and over the next few months Jessica tries to
get pregnant, but it never happens. Jessica begins to worry that something
is wrong with her internally and she begins to worry quite a bit. The couple
ends up at the doctors to get checked out. The doctor, who advised the
couple against having a baby telling them they should wait till their older,
ends up checking Jessica out and finds no problems with her internally. So
now the couples focus turns to Shane who as well goes to see a doctor. Bad
news strikes the couple where it hurts most, directly to the heart, when
they find out Shane is incapable of producing a fertile seed.
Determined as they are to be destine together Shane and Jessica
start wondering aimlessly in their minds about the problem as dire solutions
are thought up to mend their once bright but now faded future. Even though
they hadn't discussed ways to solve their problem out loud they both knew
they were thinking the same thing. The only plausible solution besides using
another man would be artificial insemination but the couple was too young
for that, and even if they were old enough they don't have the money to do
it. There was another reason why Jessica didn't like the thought of
artificial insemination which was because everyone would know the child wasn't
Shane's and this would defeat one of Jessica's reasons for wanting a child.
The couple hit a brick wall. The thought that they could never have
a true child of their own plagued their thinking. Jessica kept thinking
about how much a child looks like its parents and she just became a complete
wreck. Shane as well thought about his problem and constantly wondered what
he did to deserve such a burden. He not only thought about Jessica he also
thought about the fact that he would never be able to get any women pregnant
in his entire life time. Emotionally their relationship was so unstable
their outlook on life and God made a one hundred and eighty degree turn and
they had no way to turn back around. They became disconnected to say the
least.
Shane beginning to believe that he did something wrong and God
wanted to punish him decided to enlist with the devilish side of life. He
started hanging out with his friends more often then he use to, giving them
more time then he did Jessica. It was only about a month later that Shane
was first introduced to drugs through his friends. For some reason being the
fake thugs that they were made them prime candidates for the sale and
distribution of the dugs to people in their town. Shane started off light
with marijuana when he had setup shop selling drugs to his friends. He then
began to grow it in secretly in his parents guest house where there was a
small cellar and through some wicked turn of the dime eventually even his
friends parents where buying his crops. This type of life style of course
attracted druggies and not just marijuana smokers but also cocaine, ecstasy,
and methamphetamine users.
At this point the couple had given up any hope of having a child.
Shane is always hanging out with his friends pay little or no attention to
Jessica, and Jessica is constantly thinking about how she can never have a
child of Shane's. This was the first stick ever thrown into the wheel of
their relationship so not only was it difficult to deal with it was
completely foreign to their usual lives of being in love. Jessica not having
a whole lot of friends of her own slowly begins to morph into Shane's
lifestyle with him. This neither helped nor hurt their relationship but it
did keep them together over the alternative of splitting up. Jessica began
to use drugs with Shane and she started to see herself as the bad boy's
girl. Along with the drug use came the usually delusion of paranoia.
That's when it happened. "Where's my sac?" Shane asks Jessica
referring to his sac of marijuana also known as weed. "I don't know."
replies Jessica. "It was right here on the coffee table now where the fuck
is it?" asks Shane. "How dare you, I'm your girlfriend I didn't take your
weed." replies Jessica. "Yeah, then who the fuck did you were the only one
that was here." says Shane. "Bullshit your friends stopped by earlier why
don't you ask them, or did you forget?" says Jessica. "I'm talking about
after they were here and I know you have my weed." says Shane. "Fuck off I
didn't take it." says Jessica as she storms out the room. For the first time
Shane and Jessica had a fight, and while Jessica sit just outside crying
Shane sighs and looks down only to notice a sandwich bag peeking out at him
from under the lazy boy recliner. It was his bag of weed. Like most fights,
it was a complete uncalled for extortion of emotion centering on an
inanimate material object whereas the object really has nothing to do with
the fight.
Shane steps out onto the porch where Jessica sits quietly crying. He
sits down next to her staring out onto the street and says "I'm sorry."
Jessica quickly wraps herself around him as he continues "Things just didn't
turn out the way I expected and I guess I just don't know how to deal with
that yet." Jessica wipes her eyes to look at Shane. He turns to look into
her eyes and says "You know I've been thinking, and if you still want a baby
there is a way I stumbled on talking to a friend, but you have to be more
then sure that you want this baby with me and you have to be willing to do
anything." Jessica, who is willing to do anything, glares in amazement
wondering what on this earth he could be talking about.
The Other Side of the Tracks
Shane's older brother, by four years, Mark is a lot like Shane in
the fact he's just as much as a ladies man as Shane is. Mark is a lot like
Shane in many other aspects as well except he is not the loyal type. He uses
his lady killer charm to the full effect seducing countless women for sexual
desires. He also uses drugs and started about when he was Shane's age. Shane
and Mark growing up would get in fights with each other but nothing serious.
They weren't so spiteful to each other that they weren't still friends, and
since Mark no longer lived at home it only increased their level of
friendship with each other. Mark had a way with him self when around friends
of the opposite sex, however not so much with friends of the same sex. Mark
usually hung out with his lady friends who were always more then just
friends. He knew a lot of people but only kept the company of one good male
friend at a time; he would always be blowing off his other friends.
Mark went to the same school as Shane growing up and he was always
getting in trouble. From his constant absenteeism to picking fights he can't
handle Mark knew the assistant principal all too well who handled such
hostility to authority. His mouth was a lot bigger then his muscles and he
had not a care in the world. He is the type of kid who by default is your
best friend in front of your face but behind your back he'll talk trash all
day just to impress his other friends. If one is lucky enough to hold such
company as his you can't expect him to be on time or to even show up when he
says he will.
John who was Mark's best friend at the time is not what you would
consider a ladies man, he did have his share of girlfriends but he wasn't
knocking them dead left and right. He is a loyal friend and has a lot of
friends because of that fact. John lived with his father and his parents
were divorced, his mother owned a house in another town about an hour away.
She lived mainly in the east but would often times fly in to visit. His
father wasn't a very strict person when it came to rules but still had a
stern way of dealing with problems that would arise. If his mother on the
other hand only knew what John's father allowed him to get away with she
would have both their heads on a platter. His father's lifestyle as part of
the iron horse working class left him less then energetic at the end of the
day. In the evenings he literally never took the seemingly long haul of
walking down the steps into the basement simply because there was nothing
down there for him to do. His basement was nothing more then two rooms one
of which was John's and the other was his younger brothers and if John's
father needed to speak with either of them he would just yell to get their
attention from the top of the steps. This allowed John to get away with
almost anything when he was in the basement.
John as well went to the same school as Mark and Shane. John not as
opposed to authority as Mark did still skipped school and got suspended. If
Mark was skipping school chances are John was with him. John never fought or
even attempted to fight anyone in school. He was the guy that everyone knew
yet he was not considered your "popular" type. Neither was he bullied around
he was just a guy that everyone knows and nobody messed with him. This was
partly because he wasn't by any means a small person nor was he fat so at
first glance you can tell if he did put up a fight chances are he would win.
He was a nice person whereas Mark could and did often times fly off the
handle at someone just for staring at him wrong.
Often times there would be a group of kids who after school would
meet up at John's house and get high in his room and listen to old rock and
roll albums from his father's massive collection all while burning incense.
This ceremonial ritual of sorts included marijuana and your occasional LSD
complete with black lights and florescent colored posters much like what you
would see a circle of hippies doing in the sixties or seventies. Since Mark
knew John, and John had many friends that made Mark become Shane's best
customer when it came to the purchasing and distribution of marijuana. Life
was sweet for the trio and the business only got bigger and bigger. Soon
Mark and John were moving pounds at a time and at one point were on the very
top of the chain as far as drug distribution in the town that they lived in.
Moving out of the basement and showing up at house parties, beach parties,
camping parties and school functions with enough marijuana to supply
everyone.
The times were changing but not according to their business. The
change I'm talking about is the cycle of trends that youth goes through when
they are in that defining moment of their life where what they do will in
every aspect will effect the rest of their lives. See up until a point Mark
and John mainly listened to your older rock and roll and a select few groups
who played your new age rock and roll. Brewing in the back ground was a type
of music unlike any other that would reach out to the youth in a way music
never has before this time. To its artist it is a direct emotion from the
heart where the dead poets of the past speak the greatest volume. To it's
listeners it is both as daring as it is fascinating. The music I speak of is
rap music. John and Mark had been listening to rap music for just about as
long as it had existed it wasn't until their later high school years that it
would really merge with their characters. It hit Mark a lot harder then it
did John and Mark stuck to rap music like duct tape, John did not, although
he did love rap music. There was one other person where the word rap would
take on a whole new meaning and actually solidified into the art form it
self, his name is Lucas, and he is John's little brother.
People never knew what to think of Lucas including myself. He was
the same age difference to John as Shane was to Mark. At times he was
reckless and at other times he was volunteering. First it was basketball
then it was skateboarding. Even his own brother questioned his sexuality
because since the fourth grade he had only one male friend whom he hung out
with every day. What they did together know one knew until later, which
included such things as robbing the local community center of all their
computers and dumpster diving for thrown out goods, to taking out his
friends boat to go swimming and exploring a local island in the lake. The
questions of who Lucas is would change as he got older. He skipped to a man
very quickly mainly because he did everything a child could and had no
option but to see his ways as childish.
Lucas just like the rest of them was into making smoking marijuana a
daily habit. In fact he would get so far gone when he smoked that no one
could understand anything he was saying. He would begin to babble about
religion and life and the reason we're here on Earth but nothing was strung
together into a coherent idea. Lucas's first experience with smoking weed
was when three women friends of both John and Lucas showed up at his house
looking for John but when they found John wasn't home they asked Lucas if he
would like to go for a ride. Lucas attracted to all three happily agreed and
soon found him self squashed in the back seat of a car between two women
hitting a joint for the first time. John had this idea of how Lucas would
get high for the first time under the supervision of him self and when these
three women went against that idea it mad him angry. You see John was a
caretaker of sorts to his little brother unlike Mark was to Shane rather
Mark and Shane were more their own persons.
The art of rap fascinated Lucas and the more he thought about the
more he understood the art form. Using such artists like A Tribe Called
Quest, The Roots and The Wu-Tang Clan as his inspiration he learned much
about both the original beauty of the word play laid upon a beat and the
corrupt competitive ways of the territorial struggle in the projects. During
this time the art was mainly fluent in black culture of America but across
the lands white kids were picking up on the game of rap fast yet there was
at the time no successful white rap star. This didn't stop Lucas from slowly
picking up on the knowledge rappers unknowingly by default displayed every
time they picked up a microphone and preformed something for someone else to
hear.
Lucas and John had a step brother by the remarriage their mother had
for sometime. Their step brother's name was Bill and he was a couple years
younger then Lucas. Bill grew up mainly in the east coast and in keeping
steady contact with Lucas both Bill and Lucas excelled in the art form of
rap. Lucas striving to find himself in the world had taken a chance at
moving out east to live with his mother, his step father and his step
brother but ended up only spending a year there. He moved back because he
couldn't take the goody-goody rules of the house and he wanted to live under
the lack of rules his real father posed. Bill had a friend who was producing
beats and they would send beats to Lucas to rap over often to eventually
make tracks with both Bill and Lucas rapping on them. With in less then a
year both Bill and Lucas had a distinct sound that you would only think
professionals had. While their equipment for recording still lacked a bit of
quality it didn't stop them from recording their music and playing it for
their friends and family. They received nothing but good feedback from
everyone. It was clear that the two had a knack for rapping and with Bill's
friend making the beats they had a product they could claim 100% as their
own.
Over the countless times John and Mark would hang out often at Mark's
parent's house John got to know Shane quite well. Since Shane was Mark's
little brother and Mark kept Shane in check John would constantly crack
harmless jokes about Shane when he was present and hanging out with John and
Mark. He was present often during the early years but as they started
getting older Shane was hanging out more and more with his own friends. None
the less John and Shane knew each other well.
Likewise Mark and John's little brother Lucas knew each other well.
Lucas never hung out with his brother outside of their house but they did
spent a lot of time together in the basement. This lead to Lucas becoming
familiar with all of John's friends and it also strengthened the bond John
and Lucas had together as a friendship as well as being brothers. Mark and
Lucas had what you might call an uncanny agreement of friendship. Mark
treated Lucas just as he would John and as a result the three got along
perfectly.
If not for the gossip of Shane that Mark and John spoke of at John's
house Lucas would know absolutely nothing about Shane. Likewise if not for
the gossip of Lucas that John and Mark spoke of at Mark's house Shane would
know absolutely nothing about Lucas. This made for a strange web because
while John and Mark where the closest of the four Lucas was becoming just as
close to Mark. Shane was not as close to John as Mark was to John. If it
weren't for John always buying Shane's product, marijuana, through Mark then
Mark would probably never even bring up Shane's name.
"So Shane, what do you think about penal implants?" asks John,
hitting a bit too close for comfort for Shane and his problem. "I think you
should get one." says Shane as Mark starts to laugh. "Good one" says John
"but your mom is already satisfied" he continues. Even Shane began to laugh
at that one knowing his problem is a secret. "All right ladies quit talking
trash were here to do business." says Mark. "Business, what business is
that? I'm here to get high fool." says John. "Exactly!" says Mark. "So Shane
how is your girlfriend, I haven't seen her in a while." says John. "Ah we're
going through a bit of a rough period in our relationship." says Shane.
"What period is that? Her period?" says John as Mark cracks up in laughter.
"Yeah I wish it was that simple" says Shane "Unfortunately it's a bit more
complicated." he continues. "Well don't bring your problems here I isn't
your therapist cracker." says John. Cracker at the time was slang white kids
were using for the word nigger, it was something Lucas came up with in his
raps that stuck and everyone in the town started using it in place of the
word dude. "Oh wait I do got business with you Shane, I need to re-up, give
me like three pounds." says John referring to pounds of marijuana. "Coming
right up." say Shane as he stands up and makes his way into the basement of
the guest house which had become a hang out for all the drug users and
sellers that Shane knew.
Mark having made a personal commitment to only listen to rap from
now on in his life had become fascinated with Lucas and his skills on a
microphone. When ever Lucas had come up with something new he knew he could
count on Mark to give him the proper feedback. Mark had more rap albums then
anyone at the time and it became a hobby of his to collect them so he was
exposed to all sorts of rap. If it was released on C.D. Mark had it and had
listened to it. Mark him self was making attempts to start rapping and he
had countless note books filled with the rhymes he had come up with. He
loved the art of rap just as much as Lucas did if not more. Lucas at one
time was giving disc upon disc to Mark who in turn would give them out to
his friends. Mark was sort of a promoter to Lucas's music among the group of
people who went to school with them.
Lucas had many other talents aside from rapping. John and Lucas's
father had a garage full of tools for everything from wood working to metal
working where Lucas and his best friend spent a lot of time. They became
"jack of all trades" working on everything from their bikes to potato guns.
His father also knew a ton about electric circuits and had so many tools and
supplies you would think he was running a Radio Shack. Lucas learned a lot
from his father and from the library about electric circuits and in no time
was creating small electronics like FM transmitting phone bugs and automatic
phone conversation recorders. Both Lucas and his best friend were
competitive which made them excel in a lot of aspects. When one made or did
something the other had to out do him with something better.
Lucas is much like your average man. Apart from his more lavish
lifestyle choices he likes what any other man likes and he isn't afraid to
go out and get what he wants. He isn't the outright in your face type of
person but when he wants something he goes for it and usually ends up
getting it. He is charismatic complete with charm. He did the things all men
did as a growing teenager plus many more. Some would say he lived life too
slow only to later be corrected as to say he is living life too fast.
Lucas's will and ambition that is nothing short of amazing, he's the
type that knows rather then believes that when you put your mind to it you
can achieve anything. This is how he came to be such a good artist, although
he had some natural gift for music he picked up most of what he knows just
by listening to music. Becoming the actual musician that he is was mostly
due to his ability to function in an above normal bracket of intelligence.
Academically though he is not your straight A student. He failed many
classes and his grades ranged all over the board. He excelled in subjects
such as math and physics but failed in history and reading. He never took
his SAT test but he did eventually graduate high school and he did have an
IQ just above average.
Lucas wasn't much of a ladies man at first but that doesn't mean the
ladies didn't like him. They did he just at the time wasn't using this to
his advantage. Women who fell for Lucas were the type that wanted a bad-boy.
They would hear his music and immediately be mesmerized with stars in their
eyes as if they had just seen a famous actor. Lucas wasn't always desired in
fact it was mainly his music that made him desirable. At first glance ladies
would think he's just another guy until they find out he raps or better yet,
they see him rap. There was something else too about Lucas that few girls
who were lucky enough to see it were attracted to which was simply his
intelligence. In all aspects of life, Lucas can excel. He more or less
chooses what he wants and then goes for it and has no trouble reaching to
the cosmos to get it. It is as if he was born for life.
Lucas just as his music suggests became a man who would never let
any single female tie him down in a relationship. It was as if in a sea of
women he built a pond just for himself where no man can take their pick from
other then him. He was young and extremely energetic and that coupled with
the fact he could rap attracted women to him. He attracted women who want a
man who is in the spot light, ones that want every other woman to know who
her man is. Lucas became a magnet to the opposite sex when he started
rapping and he used that to his advantage never becoming tied down with any
one woman and tossing them away like Kleenex for the next. In a lot of
relationships the woman is in control but not in his relationships. Lucas
always had the upper hand because he could always find another if one wasn't
pleasing him the way he wanted, but when he does have a girl by his side he
treats them well. From a distance one might say by looking at him from afar
that he is the typical womanizer.
There were a few women Lucas kept as company over his teenage years
but his relationships with women were about as serious as they were short
lasting. He was questioned occasionally on why he would leave such beautiful
girls in the dirt and he always had the same answer. He would tell people
that "She was nothing more then a groupie." A groupie is a woman who is only
after a man because of his popularity as a musician, one who seeks to be
popular herself through such man. Some people just figured he got bored with
the woman he was with and was always looking for something new.
When on a microphone Lucas was a whole different person. He was the
gangster type and it was evident listening to his raps. Complete disregard
for the law and an "I don't give a shit about anybody" attitude. It was
clear in his music that he was a walking time bomb and if you messed with
him you have another thing coming. His music spoke of torture of the worst
kind for those who crossed him the wrong way. It spoke of death and mayhem;
it was an anti-social aggravated assault on the so called establishment of
society. This type of rap is not uncommon yet it isn't the type of rap you
hear on the radio, it is the type of rap you hear in what is called the
underground. The underground is a reference to rappers who never make it to
the commercial market thus they're only heard by other rappers and hard core
rap enthusiasts.
Most people didn't fear Lucas because they knew he wouldn't mess
with anyone unless messed with. His music reflected this aspect of him.
Before his teenage years there were a few times he bullied around kids
younger then him but nobody really bullied him. He occasionally can be
aggressive and can become vindictive if he is crossed. One thing for certain
is that he stands by his reputation and if challenged he will throw down a
fight. One the other hand he gives no reason for anyone to challenge him so
growing up he never really got into a single serious fight. He stays on the
safe side of life yet has a wicked edge over competition.
Lucas wasn't always the kid that he had grown to be, he wasn't
always as popular among his peers as he is. During the early years of his
life he was what you would describe as being an introvert, even in his own
family. John being the exact opposite always spoke on both his behalf
watching out for his little brother's best interest. In school from when he
first started to his early teen years it was as if he didn't exist always
keeping to himself and never really associating with anyone from his grade
other then his best friend who was never in the same classes as him. He did
get in a bit of trouble during these times but nothing serious, mostly he
was just an accomplice to the acts of his best friend while the two hung out
during recess.
That all changed after Lucas started making rap music, he started to
become much more popular among his peers. Lucas wasn't necessarily fond of
his success he didn't like being the center of gossip. He did like taking
the center stage and entertaining people like at a party for example, and
rap was the only way he knew how to do that. It was a very quick
transformation he had undergone from being the introverted type to an
extrovert and he wasn't about to turn around. Becoming a rapper brought him
a sense of placement in a world he once wasn't fit to speak in and the voice
he did gain was a strong one no doubt.
The Plot That Ruins God Love
Shane sits Jessica down as she eagerly waits to hear what possibly
Shane could have thought of for them to be able to have a baby. "I don't
really know how to put this so I'm just going to say what I've been thinking
about." says Shane. Shane pauses for a minute and stares down at the carpet.
Shane continues "Again this is only if you really, really, really want to
have a child." Shane feels a knot in his throat because he doesn't know how
Jessica is going to take what he is about to say. What he is about to
propose is immoral to the binds of their relationship, none the less he can't
think of any other way and he has since become to want a baby just as much
as Jessica does even more possibly because he knows he can never have one
himself.
"Maybe," Shane repeats himself, "maybe we could have a friend do,
someone we both know and trust." Jessica is shocked. She begins to wonder
how on Earth Shane could propose such an act against the sanctuary of their
once strong relationship. On the other hand she can't control her mind as
possible friends of Shane's who fit the bill start rolling through her mind.
"I mean we would call the baby our own." says Shane. Jessica speechless
ponders how awkward it would be to have to have sex with one of Shane's
friends and continue to know him, even worse have his baby running around.
By this time Shane senses Jessica's lack of speech as a no and he says
"Look, let's just forget I brought it up."
Many things popped into Jessica mind after what Shane had proposed,
but one thing in particular stuck out. The one thing that became foreign to
her was that this made her think for first time ever about having sex with
another man other then Shane. She began to actually wonder what her life
would be like if she was with someone else but when she thought of this she
excluded the part about having a baby and solely thought about the sex.
Ultimately that wasn't a reason for her to not go through with it. The main
reason was that she wanted the baby to be known as theirs and having a third
party who was the legal father could mean that she might end up with two
fathers to her child making for a huge mess. She even began to contemplate
possible friends of Shane's that he might have in mind. She pictured a
scenario in her head of the future where the friend in question begins to
come by more frequently to see his child rather then Shane's child.
Jessica of course did not want to go through with it, and it wasn't
the idea of having sex with another man that was the deciding factor. She
felt in a sense violated even though she hadn't done anything and this did
not sit well in their relationship. Because she knew how strongly Shane
loved her and how destroyed he was when he found he couldn't have a baby of
their own she felt his rash plan was just his act of desperation. So she
ends up speaking with Shane about why she wouldn't do it, and mentions that
the main reason is because she wouldn't want the real father to end up
wanting to be a father neither would she want anyone else to find out the
baby wasn't their own.
Shane was sort of surprised because he wasn't sure what Jessica
would think about the proposal and he figured her main reason for not going
through with it would be that she didn't want to have sex with another man.
Shane began to think if only they could use someone who did not know like if
one of his friends was passed out drunk. That's when a new plan hit him,
being the drug dealer that he was he was exposed to all sorts of drugs. One
of those drugs was Quetiapine or Seroquel for short. Seroquel was at the
time a drug used at raves which are massive gatherings or parties where use
any drug they can get their hands on. At raves you can buy just about any
drug as well. Seroquel was also being used for something else though, it was
being used for date rapes. People would slip Seroquel into ones drink which
knocks them out in moderate dosages then they would have their way with the
victim. Shane kept the new idea of using Seroquel to himself because he felt
as if it would be like throwing salt on an open wound if he were to bring it
to Jessica's attention.
One day Shane was alone getting high with his brother Mark and
decided to tell Mark about his problem of fertility. Mark was stunned
because Mark himself had a baby on the way. Mark not knowing that Shane
wanted a baby began to try to cheer him up by making your usual joke's about
being tied down to one woman. Mark didn't know the full extent of Shane and
Jessica's relationship. So Shane began to tell Mark how he found out he was
infertile by means of him trying to get Jessica pregnant. Mark doesn't
understand why Shane wants to have a baby with Jessica at such a young age
but that is because Mark himself had never had a solid relationship such as
theirs. Shane being close to his brother started to explain the reasons of
why he wanted a child with Jessica. He told Mark about how well their
relationship was going up until they attempted to conceive a child. Shane
told Mark that Jessica was the only woman he wanted to be with and he didn't
think Mark would ever understand that. Mark being compassionate to his
brother did understand. Mark having never been tied down to one woman did
have a love he had lost, one that he wanted to spend the rest of his life
with. Mark knew all too well what it is like to loose someone you really
love with all your heart and so he sympathized with Shane and his problem
and foresaw the direction that their relationship was heading in as if he
was watching himself from the past when he looked at Shane.
As Shane and Mark continued to talk Shane decided to tell Mark about
the plan he had thought up. Shane explained to him that he had brought this
plan of having someone else impregnate Jessica to her attention. Mark at
first thought he was talking about artificial insemination but then Shane
mentioned he proposed having one of his friends impregnate Jessica. Mark was
blasted by the thought Shane had enough balls to suggest something like that
to his girlfriend. Mark asked what her response was to such a proposal
eagerly wondering what on earth could have come from such a volatile
situation Shane had put himself in. Shane went on to explain that Jessica
took it rather well. Shane expressed to Mark that he surely thought that his
relationship with Jessica could have ended there but he was surprised when
it didn't. Shane said "For a minute there, I think she actually thought
about going through with it."
Mark expressed concern to Shane that now more then ever his
relationship with Jessica is beginning to come to an end. Mark says to Shane
"You crazy for bringing something like that up to Jessica. I mean, I don't
know your guy's relationship but I know a thing or two about women and you
pretty much outright asked her to cheat on you." Shane nods in agreement and
says "What would you have done?" Mark replies "I don't know, I mean to me it
seems obvious that you're not going to be able to have a baby with her, or
anyone for that matter. Regardless I certainly wouldn't have asked if she
wanted to do it with one of my friends." "Yeah you right, which probably
means the end of my relationship with her. I never saw it coming." says
Shane.
"There are a lot more things you have to consider then just the fact
that she has to have sex with another man, things that are down right
scary." says Mark. "What's that?" says Shane. "Well for starters sexually
transmitted diseases." says Mark. "Yeah I thought of that too." says Shane.
Trying to make light of the situation Mark says "Oh, then of course you
never know, who ever you choose he might be bigger down there if you know
what I mean and she might leave you for him." Shane laughs and says "Na I
got that area pretty well covered, it would take a semi-truck to top me."
"Yeah keep dreaming buddy. I'm serious though, you would be introducing
another partner to her and things could get very ugly." says Mark. "Yeah, I
don't even know why I thought of it, I guess I just came up with it from
desperation." says Shane. "Well your lucky it didn't ruin your relationship
already, be thankful." says Mark.
Mark continues "On the other hand the more I think of it eventually
you're going to need someone else's seed if you're ever going to want to
father a child." "Yeah that keeps me up at nights as if God punished me. I
keep thinking about how I'll never see a child created in my image, of my
flesh and blood, one who has my eyes or my nose." says Shane. "Well I'm
going to tell it to you like this. You will need someone else whether you do
it at a clinic for what probably costs a lot of money, or you do it free
with a friend, whatever it doesn't matter. I just think you're rushing into
things. However if Jessica is going to stay with you and want a baby she'll
have to come to that realization too." says Mark. "We're a bit too young to
go to a clinic to have it done." says Shane. "Just whatever you decide be
careful man, God forbid you have a friend do it that turns out to have
something like AIDS." says Mark. "Well I don't think I have to worry,
Jessica already told me no." says Shane.
Indeed Jessica hadn't to come to fully realize that Shane could
never give her a child. She felt using someone else wasn't a possibility but
in her heart she was unable to give up the dream that she had seen of their
future since before she formally met him. In an act of desperation she had
begun to entertain the thought. Then one night much to Shane's surprise she
asked "Who did you have in mind?" "Excuse me?" asks Shane to make sure he
heard her correctly seeming like he didn't know what she was talking about.
"If I was to agree to go through with this, who would we use?" she asks.
Shane eagerly sits next to her and says "Well, I had a couple people in
mind, but ultimately it would be your decision." says Shane. "I don't know
if I can I just can't imagine not being able to have a child with you." says
Jessica as she begins to cry. Shane tries to comfort her saying "Look, it is
totally up to you, but no matter what you decide I will always be by your
side." "Let's just do it, let's just get it over with." says Jessica.
That night it was like air was blown into the dying lung that was
their relationship. Jessica began to feel much better about the whole
situation as she pondered the final outcome of what would be their family.
For the first time in weeks Jessica had a smile on her face. Shane was
ecstatic as well. They both felt as if this would mend the problems they had
been having in their relationship. Lack of communication between the two had
led to more then one argument over trivial problems. Their sexual drive was
also affected because of the situation. That night however it was as if the
problem existed no more and they were back to their normal selves.
The next day the couple sat down and begun to go over possible
friends of theirs they could ask to help them. Jessica had male friends of
her own that she trusted dearly except Shane shot down any possible man she
thought of because he didn't know her friends well enough. The list of
friends Shane has goes on and on, but none appealed to Jessica because most
of them were drug users or simply losers. They came to the conclusion that
if they were going to go through with it that the man had to be absent from
drug use, the reason being so that the baby would be a healthy one. They
also agreed that the person should be someone they didn't have close contact
with. They wanted to keep a distance between them and the real father mostly
for moral reasons. They couldn't think of any possibilities that would suit
both their needs.
Shane and Jessica became desperate and started asking their friends
about the company they keep. They hoped that maybe they could find someone
who knew someone they knew yet someone they didn't know directly. No one
they talked to or knew showed any potential possibility. Jessica at this
point began to back away from the plan it wasn't that she didn't want to go
through with it anymore it was that she didn't think they would ever find
someone that was suitable to go through with it. Shane noticed Jessica's
disconnection and so he began to bring up people they had already decided
not to use in desperation. He asked her over and over "Well what is wrong
with this guy?" They finally decided to choose no one and to let it rest
once more yet agreed to keep an eye out in the future for possible prospects
they could use.
"You know me and Jessica have been seriously considering going
through with having someone impregnate her." says Shane to Mark. "Really,
well you know how I feel, other then that all I can say is best of luck to
you." says Mark. "Thanks. You know I've been thinking of a different way of
going through with this." says Shane. "What's that?" asks Mark. "Have you
heard of the drug Seroquel?" asks Shane. "Yeah that's the one men have been
using to rape women right?" asks Mark. "Yeah." says Shane. "Wait, hold up
are you talking about raping a man?" asks Mark. "I was thinking about it.
The thing is Jessica's main problem is that she doesn't want anyone to know
the child isn't ours." says Shane.
"Ah, so you use this drug Seroquel to subdue some guy while Jessica
has her way with him?" asks Mark. "Precisely, except I haven't brought this
up to anyone yet so if you could lets keep this between us." says Shane.
"Hold on a minute, I mean you really want to go through with this don't you?
You're talking about rape even?" asks Mark. Shane responds "Look, if not
someone now then someone later from some clinic. Jessica and I are bound to
be together and have a child sometime. Even if we were old enough to go to
have the procedure done at a clinic I'm sure it costs good money, not that I've
checked. I'm sure any one of my friends would love to do my girl, but we don't
want to use someone close to us for that reason and others." "Well I guess
it would work, I mean what guy doesn't want to be raped by a girl in his
lifetime." says Mark.
Mark gets a peculiar look on his face as he begins to think to
himself as if he knows a way to approach and execute Shane's plan. The room
becomes quiet as he ponders a possibility. "So someone that isn't close to
you eh?" says Mark. Shane nods in confirmation. "So someone that would
probably agree even if they were not knocked out?" asks Mark. Shane again
nods in agreement. "Preferably someone slender like you and with your same
hair and eye color?" says Mark. "That would be ideal, wait why are you
asking do you know of such a person?" says Shane. "Shane. I know of a person
for everything." says Mark.
Mark continues "Well here's the deal. I think I do know of someone.
However this someone is someone else's brother and there is no way you could
get to this person with out first going through his brother." "So then their
not a possibility." says Shane. "No, that's not what I said, I was about to
say that you'd probably have to pay off two people starting with myself."
says Mark. "You'd charge me?" says Shane. "Of course, I'm your brother
remember. Let's say one hundred each, making it two hundred total." says
Mark. "You think you know someone we could pull this off with? Otherwise I'm
not giving you nothing." says Shane. "Are you serious? This will be a piece
of cake, we just have to let someone else in on the secret which is totally
up to you." says Mark.
"Who is this someone else and who would Jessica have to have sex
with?" says Shane. "This someone else is John, and we would be targeting
Lucas his younger brother as the father." says Mark. Shane pondered for a
minute the idea of using Lucas for the deed. All Shane could think of is
reasons why Lucas would be a good match for going through with the plan.
Mark continued explaining as well why he thought Lucas would be a prime. "I
know John well, and I'm guessing I could convince him to help us out. It
couldn't hurt to talk to him." says Mark. "I'll talk to Jessica about it, I
haven't talked with her about possibly using Seroquel on Lucas." says Shane.
"You know your right, Lucas just might be the perfect man for the job." says
Shane. "Yeah and he kind of looks like you too." says Mark. "Really?"
replies Shane. Shane began to ask Mark what about Lucas makes them look like
each other. Mark told him many qualities such as body type, eye and hair
color.
Neither Shane nor Jessica had ever met Lucas, and this was a huge
plus for using Shane. "Lucas would agree to do this no doubt." says Mark.
"Yeah but I told you we wouldn't want some other guy to know he's the father
and end up telling people, we want to make it look like I'm the father."
says Shane. "I know, I'm just saying he would agree conscious, which to me
anyway says no foul, no harm even if he is unconscious." says Mark. "Oh I
see." says Shane. "So do you want me to talk to John?" asks Mark. "Only
under one condition, you have to make sure he wouldn't tell another soul
about mine and Jessica's problem." says Shane. "Don't worry I know him well,
he can keep a secret." says Mark. "Yeah why not then, see if John would be
willing to help us out." says Shane.
The next day Mark is hanging out with John and begins to bring up
Shane's fertility problem. John becomes confused because he and Mark are not
the type to talk about their personal problems. John as well is amused
because as Mark is giving away secrets of Shane that John is gathering. John
kept thinking to himself "Why is Mark giving me ammo for my arsenal of jokes
to crack on Shane?" John stops Mark from going any further and asks "Why are
you telling me this, I don't need to know that your little brother is
shooting blanks." Mark responds "Just hear me out for a minute." Mark goes
on explaining how Shane and Jessica have been trying to conceive a child and
they were unable to.
The whole time John began to think maybe he spoke too soon and that
maybe Shane's problem was projected onto Mark. He thought that maybe Mark
was just as distraught as his brother was because of his problem. After all
if it was Lucas that had the same problem John would have deep feelings and
sympathy for Lucas. But then Mark said something that caught John's
attention. Mark said "So I was wondering if maybe you wanted to make a
little money for helping Shane out."
"A little money, what could I do to help Shane and how much is a
little money?" asks John. Mark explains "Well a little money is around one
hundred dollars or maybe Shane would give you a bit more then that if he
could pay you in weed." John quickly responds "I'm interested." Mark
continues "Ok, well I'm not sure how to put this so you have to be
absolutely sure because what I'm about to propose to you is not exactly
ethical." "Look, I could always use a little bit of extra money or weed, so
get to it already, how can I help?" John says.
"Ok well here's the deal, this needs to remain completely secret
whether you choose to help or not. Do I have your word you'll keep what I'm
about to say secret?" says Mark. "Of course, you know me, were like brothers
ourselves." says John. "Ok, I told you Shane is incapable of getting Jessica
pregnant so they are sort of shopping around if you get my drift, but they
still want a child." says Mark. "I am not screwing your brother's girlfriend
if that's what you mean?" says John. "No that's not what I'm asking. They
are looking for someone a bit more distant as in someone they don't really
know, furthermore they don't really want the man they use to know that he
was used." says Mark. "How would they achieve that?" says John. "Shane has
access to a drug called Seroquel, have you heard of it?" asks Mark. "Yeah it's
a date rape drug, which answers most my questions except for one. I still
don't understand how I can be of service." says John. "Well, we were kind of
wondering if maybe Lucas could help us get her pregnant." says Mark. "Whoa."
says John.
Just then Mark's cell phone makes a little jingle indicating he has
received a text message. He pulls his cell phone out to find Shane has just
sent him a message that reads: "It took some convincing but Jessica agreed
did you talk to John?" Mark looks up at John and says "Look I totally
understand if you don't want to we can just drop it." "No hold on, let me
get this straight, you want to pay me so you can slip my brother some
Seroquel so that Jessica can have sex with him?" asks John. "Yeah, that's
would be the plan if you agree." says Mark. "I can't believe you, you low
life piece of shit, get the fuck out of my house." says John. Mark looks at
John with a strange look and says "Are you serious?" John begins to laugh
and says "Na I'm just kidding, you know judging my brother, I pretty sure he
wouldn't mind, I mean, having sex with a beautiful girl and all, if you don't
mind my saying." "No I agree she is beautiful." says Mark. "Make it two
hundred and it's a deal." says John. Mark turns his focus back to his phone
as he types a message to his brother Shane. Then Mark looks back to John and
says "Done." Then John says "Well then, I guess we have a deal."
Ok, ok, ok I kid.