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Newsgroups: alt.adult.stories.text
Subject: Dare to be different, be yourself.
From: ruthless b man <theunicycleman@hotmail.com>
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Date: Fri, 22 Sep 2006 14:22:45 +0000
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===================
passion (extreme unicycles)
+++
music on fuck ya
+++
wheel tail monkey
'too slow'
+++
loading drugs:
scuse i
,
,
,
+++
unicycling song
+++
tripepr says
he can make a five speed sturmey archer hub
work in a unicycle
i can handle th
change of gear of transitions tripper
droppin into th mosss
off th dry concrete
yesterday
tells me
we can proceed
+++
i will have to
chop th arse off that
suspension unicycle
befor next saturday
little brother
bought a smick
bicycle for his son
today
is that them pullin in ?
+++
portishead
'all mine'
+++
no
not th rover v8
++++
a holden v8
sorry computer
+++
bought it from
paul and simon
my unicycle supplier and
extreme unicycle mechanics
th pedals are still on janie guys
+++
took three of us
to do up janie's pedals
they know how
hard
i ride th bitch
we do em up
ft
fuckin tight
if yr not aussie
+++
she's gunna bee
droppin into skatebowls and
paulie is a sreeet entertainer
i'ts gotta handle the
gutter jumps
+++
it's my wheelchair
my passsion
my life
come between me and my ride and
+++
tenacious d
'friendship test'
+++
u stretch our friendship
+++
was real relieved
janie
bit dorothy last saturday night in th car
th seat hit her braces and
chipped th porcelain
fell over in th rear of th car as i
pulled a ewie
a u turn and
she's mellow man
hasnt harmed her teeth and
+++
bjork
'one day'
+++
i'm sorry
janie is a bitch
took her out of th passenger seat of th
xf falcon and
she's a bitch
+++
we ride
when i;ve finished this bourbon janie
not before
+++
too dark for th moss
+++
dusk ha shit and
my body half fucked
from my exertions of th day but
i know
i'll jump on janie and
surf on one wheel and
ride over th traffic islands and
have a fuckin good time
+++
more drugs over here
+++
i'm not appearing in the fortitude valley tonight
the wizard is on strike
+++
th council
that controls it
has
fined me for riding a
safety bicycle
thru THEIR mall
there's a limit man
+++
i drop into skatebowls on a
man;s bike
on one wheel
i dont ride a fuckin
girls bike
+++
no shit tripper
two for one gearing
and she was
in steady flight
+++
queen
'i want to ride my bicycle'
+++
unicycle
+++
it's test pilot stuff
unicycle prototype engineering
zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance
style
+++
hey phaedrus
+++
ya burned bright man
+++
"you'll ony go to this unicyclemeet if"
"yr monoshock unicyle is better behaved"
"take it as it is"
she's tailey man
"so"
"you can ride th bitch"
i can slide th bitch
"dont chop her up"
+++
do re mi
'theme from jungle jim'
+++
she's tail heavy and
i dont like HUGE
tail induced slides
"ya sit down to pee"
+++
it's gorgeous how it is
triangulated
"trinity ?"
+++
walked a roof today
it had
a trinity
terence hill and bud spencer
poster on th wall downstairs and
an einstein poster
and
in a french named street
"hmmm"
+++
i know you;d rather not mention it but
+++
"i understand jennifer"
+++
"for yr diary"
i have to mention it
+++
dorothy
tripper was doin a service on yr car and
i was sittin there with yr stepdad
drinkin a bourbon and
i looked at yr number plate and
+++
frigidaires
'nowhere man'
+++
fuck
was apt i called ya dorothy
if'n i';m th wizard of oz and all
ya got like
th daughter
of th
actor
that played dorothy
in yr plate
plain as
+++
ya just look
strikingly like dorothy
+++
2 unlimited
'no limit'
+++
we're two and a half men again
th boys are home
the pav
has arrived
+++
ya know man
yr as infamous as i am
+++
keep bumpin into ppl
who tell me wrid tales of
YOUR
escapades
+++
heard th
ya lifted a car
in front of th hot car squad
while they were havin a lunch and
had to keep my mouth
shut
cause i was there
+++
.
.
.
+++
jet
'look what you've done'
+++
me an marko
just got back from a
wild surf
+++
actually
we yacked for half an hour
afterwards
in th post
surf
+++
he got a
26 inch
downhill racer
hardtail
with four and half inches of travel in th front
end
+++
and th deadliest brakes
oh yeah paulo
we are goin to
disc brakes but
cable man
not hyrdraulic
th disks so thin
+++
"disk braked unicycle"
"would be cool"
l ike to ride somethin th herd isnt ridin
+++
do re mi
'man overboard'(big accident)
+++
it's a wrongly named song
with correction afterwards
+++
extreme unicycle
so it;s got
32 spokes hey man
nice rims
still a hgirls bike
it;s got two wheels nephew
cmon markjo
gott ahv my dig
it's a safety bicycle
sends an inordinate amount of time
on th back wheel
makes it a
hardtail unicycle
which is what
ya just jumped over th traffic island
side by side with
give me gears
i'll keep up with you
i'll fuckin flog you
+++
16 gears
he's off
+++
took ya off th mark
hey marko
i gotta better power to weight ratio
and we both got
sixpacks
+++
"and i've just drunk one"
bourbon
+++
system of a down
'radio/video'
+++
just got caleld by little brother
goss
pooh has broken up with her boyfriend
i bumped into her daughter yesterday
sara
after comin outta th bmx track
fun bumps
nice waves
+++
am i too drunk to go visit pooh ?
+++
seven weeks pregnant
she's chucked him and
single again
+++
she's keeping th baby
+++
queen
'bohemian rhapsody'
+++
we've already had our death thrills for th day pooh
we got a busy weekend but
we'll fit in a visit
+++
i'm not used to
a similar sized beats
26 inch
jumpin over th traffic island
right beside me
hit it with
decent speed
same as his
but i
grabbed th traffic sign in
reflex
fuck man
+++
pulled me up and
i giggled
hung off it for a second and
jumped off th traffic island on my man;s bike and
squidged after him
playin on his new toy
all of 14 yrs and
marko and me are just out
explorin
+++
hey paulo
+++
take it for a ride little brother
it's got
wicked brakes
worse than bobbies truck
+++
it needs
th wide rubber
they've thrown in with it
they're almost
holy rollers
wot it's got on it but
th brakes are too good for em
they arent big enough
+++
wattya mean my
extreme mountain unicycle has
holy roller knock off
tyres
+++
well whatta ya know
+++
flight sim
'T008'
+++
maintain four thousand
-
lyric
+++
marianne faithfull
'pirate jenny'
+++
test flight
proto extreme unicycles
i want that rubber man
that they threw in
with yr new beast
knobbies
+++
we spent a good ten minutes
talkin rubber
pre scrubbed maxis holy rollers
fuck man
ya mean
th first time i go to stick it over th gutter
th fucker will stick ?
+++
he reckons yeah but
i havent tried it
+++
i put on new rubber
wider
more aggressive and
gotta scrub off
th shiny shit
+++
scary as
for th first flight
+++
i know it aint
gunna stick but
i gotta push th stick
over th traffic
island
because th fucker is
there
+++
i am
pirate jenny
one of th personalities
that inhabit th
wizard;s mind
and i have a fuckin good
time
+++
easy stars all stars
'04 track 4 rastaman'
+++
"wot i was thinkin"
"a bit confusin jenny"
+++
i'm jenny
he's paulo
"we;re identical twins"
+++
he's more identical than i am
"we share th same body"
+++
twin souls i
"dance on th unicycle"
he stuffs it over
th skatebowl
edge
+++
droppin into th moss tripper
i tripped
six inches of
dry concrete
perfect grip
on th holy roller
man
mount th unicycle in th dry and
get up and runnin
ride along th drain
on th incline
"two pedals"
we been ridin nineteen yrs
"more"
shutup paulo
dive into th moss
and cross
to th other side
good traction
searchin for th
feel
how much traction
side to side till
+++
mike oldfield
'tubular bells pt 1'
++
i drop into th moss
fully
limited traction and
on one
contact patch
no sudden jerks
dead smooth
over drivin th wheel
she's
slipping
i been thinkin
on gearin for th unicycle
this is
how it feels
i've dropepd over th
moving travellator transition
this is
much th same
we dont need
th variable gearing
just yet
we can buld
a five ratio
hub
i'm confident
i can ride it
are u confident
u can build it ?
i love man
+++
bunnyhop unicycles and
cant ride one
+++
chester wants another
unicycle lesson
cool as
i fronted little brother
i might put ya and trippe ron
th shark thrasher unicycle
i bought for
marko
he keeps nickin my 26 solo
wheel
he wont miss it
everythin happens
for a purpose
+++
"for a porpoise"
fuck off sharkie
+++
i dunno
they all like to ride on
rails
i look at their ego pic
on th net and
it's always
on a rail or
in th air
insensibly
in th air
+++
i just wanna
surf th environment
whatever i find
surfing
the land wave
+++
that thing we found th other day paulo
that aint a skatebowl
that'
s a fuckin
wall
+++
"if it was scrubbed"
"i mean liek that roof"
"i washed yesterday"
"clean"
"i'd have a stab at it"
+++
four bourbons and
four cones first but
"maybe"
"but not th second time"
+++
takes stones little brother
to ride over th edge
it's
slippery
not designed for man;s bikes
+++
puts an extra
kick to
goin over th edge
+++
i can hold my head up
amongst th younger
unicyclin crowd
i'm 44
do i wanna
go and
compete with em on a field
+++
sorry folks
just
i'm middle aged and
smoke drugs before mountin th wheel and
unicycle hockey is
"tempting"
+++
i might not have
doen this befor ebut
i' been strete entertainer
inth wild
after midnight amongst th nightclubbers
six yrs
+++
black's on strike and
we been trainin for this unicycle meet for
longer than we've known about it
know wot i mean ?
+++
"we have havent we"
+++
foot and a half slides
on th unicycle at
chesters party
+++
if u buy a wheel chester
black will give u
time
+++
tips and tricks
form a
six yr
strete entertainer
where th ppl
leap out of th crowd to
knock u down
+++
very very seldom
i must say
+++
but it happens
part of th fun
+++
i ride confident thru
crowd force nine
the fortitude valley crush
top end of th mal
back when th
clubs closed their doors at
five am
when th place
deserved it;s name
+++
i am wondering
will i bee
th oldest in th pack
+++
will i
still b th wildest ?
+++
i know most of ya
dont have my savages testicles
blue balls every single fucking day
love marijuana
and a unicycle that kills my sperm count
+++
billy
has been askin to cum out of th shed
prototype
monoshock unicycle
a chopped
in half
bicycle
clean cut
u go in th workshop this weekend bitch
last other
dedicated unciyclist that spied u
just had to have a ride
"which is th front end ?"
ride it backwards
monoshock to th rear
"yr in for a shock"
+++
as fucked as th bushes are
as fucked as th ex
prortype surf unicycle hub is
i gota scream to get it back
"stay in sight man or"
"i ride this thing"
"do my damdest to knock u down"
i dunno black
even our trick 48 spoker
holy roller shod beast hardtail
wont baeatit over th rough stuff
"it;s too low geared"
we leave it as a 24 for public showing ?
"definitely"
+++
can i get a holy roller in a 28 ?
"he said he'd find out"
+++
28 monoshock
holy roller shod
extreme monocshock suspension uncicyle \
"with disk brakes"
gotta be cable i think
"wot about mushie brakes- intentional bubbles"
little brother thinks no
+++
wobblie wheels
"hhhmmm"
little brother said
it'd get
side thrust
is why our unicyle
works so hard
"we ride snake path"
"yep"
four wheels
wobblie wheels
a sine curve
give greater traction than
tyre th size it is
"fuckin hard to balance"
geared
"wot about bicycle"
has to be
twin drive
"wot about unicycle ?"
i can spoke my own wheel
changed a 24 into a 27
can i build a
sine curve
+++
sidethruster wheel
+++
"shark drive"
+++
dpends how big
a thrust we build into th wheel
"we got spoked wheels
we got an eleven foot long
ex goodies bike
solo
we can
experiment
+++
all wheels have a wobble
++
pink floyd
'pigs on the wing pt 2'
+++
there is no such thing
as th perfect circle
+++
if we put in our own
wobble
will it over ride
th flaw wobbles
+++
pigs might fly
yeah ok computr but
i see th future in opposites and
write clues to th next song
that aint happened yet
somethin similar
+++
icehouse
'love in motion'(with chrissie amphlett)
+++
<<< smile >>>
+++
i gues it is
lov ein motion
playin with
th paranormal
this is a magic book
my diary
and my brother's diary
the wizard
ruthless b man
+++
"u have to put in"
"in every page"
"an explanation"
"wot about osmeoe who's never"
"tripped into yr"
"rovin psyhci undergound blog"
i do as i pls
+++
i have will
why paulo calls me pirate jenny
i steal th wizard's body
dangerous really
he's killed a quarter million ppl
+++
my identical tiwn brother th psychic hitman
+++
"it';s just a job"
+++
for the council of aesthetic deletions
+++
bob marley
'no woman no cry'
+++
ok dear
i am wearin
two hundred thousand odd
of those kills
as collateral damage
but
kuta tells me
i got about
fifteen thousand or so
committed or otherwise
terrorists
and all in
internet servers
which is sweet
for a religion named after
th native black honey of australia
"stingless bees"
kuta bees
+++
i figure
it's no worse than wot th yanks get
in collateral dmage
in civilains that get snmotted
in th heat of battle
war is crazy
+++
if i didnt tell my self that
i;d go crazy
+++
it aint enough
i tellmyself
i just
see th future backwards
stick a
kuta death curse
on th islamic terrorist cunts and
+++
lo-tel
'teenager of th year'
+++
next day
all those kids man
died
in th schools
th islamic jihad type schools
in their classrooms
in th northern pakistan earthquake
+++
i aint happy about it
i made a sloppy curse and
my juju is
fuckin huge
and i already know that
after th tsunami
+++
in my psychic blog
here ya terrorst cunts
cop this
HUGE WAVE
sometime
before it got
aceh and
my
confirmed kadaitcha man
kills
skyrocketed
+++
"but i sjust see th future backwards"
"cause it hasnt happened yet"
real magic is too
slippery for that
+++
flight sim
'TO83'
+++
blue sky clearance - lyric
+++
violent femmes
'i held her in my arms'
+++
i'm so sorry
uncle albert
i'm so sorry if it hurts you
anyway
but god does
play dice with the
uni verse
+++
for every
action
there is an equal
and opposite
reaction
+++
i am
a unicycle master
i drop into skatebowls
and ride an extreme unicycle prototype
in th foot deep
surf
i'm that good
balance i
understand
+++
chaos
wot balances
chaos
control
+++
M/A/R/R/S
'pump up the volume'
+++
synchronicity is
the opposite of chaos
things happen
becaue they happen
god
is in chaos
make th perfect random
number generator
and u have
god
completely nonsensical
so it works
+++
for every
action
there is an equal
and opposite
reaction
+++
GOD DOES PLAY DICE WITH THE UNI VERSE
for every
action
there is an equal
and opposite
reaction
TRUE CHAOS
APPEARS AS
SUPER INTELLIGENCE
+++
tenacious d
'tribute'
+++
a tribute song
to a match with th devil
+++
two personalities
one sells it's soul
"to the devil"
"and one sells it's soul"
to the god
+++
just balancing good and evil
there is no
utopia
++++
GOD DOES PLAY DICE WITH THE UNI VERSE
+++
it takes a complete idiot
+++
a fool
+++
"fuck my unicycle pulls nice slides"
"never broken a bone on it
+++
city high
'city high anthem'
+++
six yrs of
street entertainign
singin on strete corners and
doin mad shit ona unicycle and
my scars are of th gravel rash kind and
i;'v etaken on
four lanws of traffic
in th wrong direction
in th dark
without a light
stoned
and drunk
on a unicycle
GOD DOES PLAY DICE WITH THE UNI VERSE
+++
1
+++
i'm off to
shower under th water of life and
contemplate my
good fortune
my wallet isnt overflowing
but my experiences in life
are
ya cant have
everything
+++
.
.
.
and if ya did
it'd be boring
+++
give me my
janie unicycle
losin grip
in th moss
twistin head sand
more omportantly
twistin my head
we can
build a geared unicycle and
"i can thrash th fuckin thing"
+++
ezee possee
'everthing starts with an e'
+++
maybe then
i'll cum back to
thrashin my wheel thru the
fortitude valley
after midnight
+++
rename th plac eman
callin it an
entertainment district when
th bilk of yr late noght custoemrs
cum in at one
and you kick em out tat three
instead of forever
god forbid
whenever th fuck they like
+++
overgoverned
+++
th sidecar
slid best
with brake applied and
throttle on
takes more power but
is how gardner used to rie
gp bikes
onth gas and
on th brakes
"traction control"
i want it
"drag"
always ridin
downhill
magic wheel
+++
ridden with a dynamo
"got get away from th rim"
disk brake and electrical
"engine"
+++
easy star all stars
'money'(extended)
+++
regenerative braking black
"twin chain"
we chop up
ex expensiv giraffe
unicycle
"tripper near cried when we mentioned"
girls bike dragster we aquired"
"when we were livinw ith jane"
"sturnmey archer three speed"
"bought it to chop it up"
"tripper screamed"
"would buy me a new sturmey archer hub"
"dont chop it up"
"she's stil got it man"
"jane"
"it didnt cum home with me"
"long term project"
"no man"
"jane wont throw it away"
+++
even i cried at th prospect
we're gunan chop ya up
girls bike and
make a
decent unicycle out of ya
i've made a few unicycles
this way
choppin bicycles in half
is no worse than killin pigs
+++
th scream is about th same
cum to think of it
th hacksaw blade
squeelin thru th bicycle frame
a high pitched
death squeel
+++
put a unicycle hub in ya
widen yr hips
just spread yr legs girl and
a bigger tyre and
turn ya backwards
+++
the offspring
'pay the man'
+++
it's off springs
well one spring
+++
mono shock
maybe th sticker on it
double shock
is confusin ya
is half wot it was
+++
rides like
nuthin on this earth
billy
mark one
prototype
monoshock unicycle
i'm prayin it means
the one big crash i've had on ya
is th last big one
+++
th guys downstairs
we're playin at
two and a half men this weekend
liek most weekends
are watchin
category six
day of destruction
a huge hurricane movie
+++
have i found yr limit billie ?
yr malicious nature
have i tamed ya ?
+++
janie hasnt pulled anythin in months
that really threw me
like u did
+++
in that near highside crash
on th bmx track
th other day
janie lost contact with th ground
air
she dont cum down from air
quite like u do
yr bum's too big
fuck th fact ya got
clean lines
we're doin a gremlin on ya
yr arse end is goin and
yr gettin a second cut and shut
+++
"destroys th simplicity of th thing"
"at th moment it's half a bicycle"
fuck posterity
mine or otherwise
i'm buldin prototype unicycles
they evolve
+++
puttin shit on me paulo
"yr a local legend"
+++
i drive a five hundred dollar car
"i can explain that"
"we got real magic"
"harry potter is a billionaire"
"he doesnt have real magic"
he's not even real
+++
GOD DOES PLAY DICE WITH THE UNI VERSE
+++
why not just
make a donation to harry potter
if ya love him so
fuck buyin th books about him
or watchin his movies
just give him yr money
+++
jewel
'this time'
+++
tell im ya wanna suck his cock
+++
"jennifer"
+++
well
+++
hes got a flying stick
"dont , i'll be sick"
+++
wot did jack nicholson say
in that
movie
"u cant handle th truth"
+++
so ya reward lies
untruth
fantasy
i get it
+++
i'd rather bee real
and bee really magic
oh
i am
and my flying stick
is one of th trickest
but it's too tail heavy
to drop into th
redcliffe
skatebowl
+++
machine gun fellatio
'take it slow'
+++
th edge
of th bowl
is shiny
polished metal
cause it's ridden over
a lot
and if neglected
rusty
when it's shiny it;s
worse than th brand new shiny tyre
over th
45 degree white concrete incline at speed
+++
ya cant drop into th bowl billie cause
yr ars eis too big it'll
drag
ya gotta grader bum
+++
janie drops straight in but
she;s a hard tail and
her trail is
infinitely adjustable usin
th movable weight
+++
me
i'm also th shock absorber
+++
but we can build a better
one wheel wheelchair
+++
why hasnt yr wheelchair got suspension ?
+++
powderfinger
'don;t panic'
+++
it;s just progress
+++
we trialed
rim brakes on a unicycle
too much leverage
+++
"when they can find th grip"
we were weakining an already spindly
27 inch semi racer unicycle wheel
"buckling wheels"
doesnt little brother knwo whow many wheels we rebuilt ?
"apparently not"
.
.
.
+++
shark wheels
+++
their footprint
travels like a shark
it uses th
side thrust principal
+++
cuts down our
unsprung weight and
nothing grips
liek a snake wheel
+++
mr oizo
'flat beat'
+++
wot degree of
umm
wot amount of
side thrust can we build in
"i think yr thinkin of mark four"
"We're workin on mark two"
it;s th programmer in me
+++
and it;s not mark two
w
e're workin on mark three
+++
first one was
surf uncicyle
half bicycle
27 inch
hardtail
triangle framed unicycle
"testing prinicapls for"
"monoshock unicycle"
which is billie
shouldnt we start again and
do
grandpa's axe principal
"put it's seat on a bunch of new engineering ?"
i've ogt tripeprs attention
he lookin at a new shed tonight
he'd have th space to hang it on th wall
while we
cobble things
"u taken a look around this joint ?"
+++
tiesto
'adagio for strings'
+++
fallin over boys toys
tripper welds alloy
"there's a mig welder downstairs"
+++
specialised in
linkages
+++
"tripper ?"
yeah
+++
hmmm
+++
just get tripper to build th thing inside his head
+++
as well
+++
my car rego is being paid black
"nice of him"
i spent four days in th sun and
we had a good giggle
+++
"what about the safety certificate"
it;d pass anyway
litle brother wont allow anthin ofay
+++
sade
'sweetest taboo'
+++
wont drive or ride th
rough and ready stuff
like we do
+++
"but we got a name ?"
yeah
+++
i cant believe where marko is gunna do work experience
bit like
bein with th top gear crew
for work experience
"better"
+++
why;d he let ya thrash his
cbx 1100 six cylinder beast
it wasnt even fuckin stock
"cause he knew i;d ride it smooth"
"at 260 odd k's"
+++
"he followed me"
"for a coupel hundred k's and said"
"here"
"take it and"
"light a smoke"
"on th cigarette lighter"
"in th dash"
"at 240 k's"
and
"two drags and"
"it;s fuckin gone man"
+++
did he like th v four ?
+++
led zeppelin
'gallows pole'
+++
"i dont think so"
"he stayed with me to 230 odd k's and"
"stayed there"
"go back down to fifth man"
"she;s got more"
head shake
"he wouldnt ride th back brake"
fuck we used up brakepads
"i;ve got"
"ears"
+++
it had smick shockies and
a worked motor
th frame wasnt standard and
i dunno man
my other mate with th vw engined bmw frame
would give it a run for it;s money
+++
he swore at th v four
whe n he got off it
swore he;d never get back on it
his sewing machine
six cylinder
smooth as
but at th pub
couple of hours later
we swapped rides again
perfect primary balance
in th ninety degree
v four
somethin about th way it pulls
when my unicycle gets
that
sideways thrust
as i exit th power curve
+++
katie noonan
'what's going on ?'
+++
it's a whip motion
on one wheel
and th acceleration
lateral drive
?
lateral drive ?
stops th wheelspin
gets th power down
when i wanna race th
taxis
i do admit
i been a bad boy
playin in fornt of th taxi rank
on one wheel
cause i can and
ppl smiel man
ppl smile
+++
you never seen a unicycle
get off th lien like that before "
u never seen
anything
get off th line like that before
snake drive
+++
the bicyclist
"girls biek rider"
"fuckin SAFETY BICYCLES"
the bicyclist
weaves form
side to side
as he or she
gives it to it
standin up on th pedals
as they
drive
up th big hill
+++
nirvana
'on a plain'
+++
than you kuta
i am
truly blessed
+++
there's a
constant side
thrust
in a sine wave wheel
it has drag
yes
it has traction
YES
+++
?twin wheels
"duals on all four corners"
they got th horsepower now to use it
650 horses in a street car
+++
"singles"
+++
it'll shimmy
+++
coldplay
'yellow'
+++
this in th surf
on jennifer th surf wheel
+++
with a good mp3player and
bout a foot deep surf
low tide
and
th way
she cut
thru th wate rliek a knife
one a quarte rinch
semi racer tyre
doesnt make sense
to chop a
27 semi racer in half
and throw it in th surf
but boy does it work
+++
TH FORK LEGS ENTER TH WATER AT AN ANGLE
+++
sorry
+++
hit caps lock
+++
th old rear end of a bicycle
travellin backwards
pierces th water
abaft of th axle line
+++
lift
+++
billie has a 24
"cheap 24"
inch
skinny mountain bicycle tyre
but too wide for th
water
+++
12 lb of air
to provide flotation
++++
queen
'i want to ride my bicycle'
+++
most vehicles ya air down for th beach
low tide
hard sand
hour and half
either side of
low tide and
mount on th
hard dry sand and
drop in
+++
th crinkly bits
th ends of th waves
are fuckin alive man
+++
get in th churn
in th back of th one footer wave and
we get
assistance
+++
th
aerated white water is
slippery
super super
slippery
we need more gears to
explore further
+++
it's an easy way to get up th beach
+++
droppin in and out
of tiddler waves
not too many other ppl
interested in th tiddlers
+++
arlo guthrie
'chilling of the evening
'''
forever splashing in the sunlight - lyric
+++
pretty
+++
ya make some
beautiful magic music
arlo
+++
the sparkling water
+++
th reflection so
intense
in th harsh
australian sunlight
you cant see th
sand
underwheel
just th water
some inches above it
vision of th ground
cums and goes
so yr vision is
lyin about
th surface th
unicycle is travellin over
beach sand
with holes in it
+++
U2
'when love comes to town'
+++
u can ride
three times harder
than ya thought ya could
cause
ya rode fifty kilometres
on a big beach
+++
operant conditioning
+++
lots and lots and lots of
miles
+++
ride much harder
when ya got somethin soft
to fall into
even four inches of water
cushions a
massive unicycle stack
on a
wrongly ridden or
just plain crazy
fly wheel
th flywheel's
they spit ya
+++
we are humanity we
spit back
++
when th suspension unloads
th wrong bump at th
right time
th flight is
kind ainteresting
as always with uncicyles
soemtimes ya find yrself
runnin
after a crash
+++
nirvana
'come as you are'
+++
at a pace that
u knwo dam fuckinw ell
u;v never run in yr life before
but
this is after
four hours of mad unicycling
one witht ht wheel
and th land
land sure footed and
never heard a sandshoe do that before
thats;
jackie jackie territory
i surei heard htat dunlop volley sandhsoe
screech
i gotta fall down man
made th next
landing
other foot and
still in
balance
still washing off speed but
we're up for a third
landing
ok that;s a bit better
only fdoina bout
ten kilometres an ahour
than i;v eever run in my life before
hmm
wonder if it;s got edge sliek th unicycle
usin gravity to sustain th
motion
short flight
millisecodns
s
ecodns
tenth of a milisaecodn
i dont know
so sxcited i
+++
pulel dup to a
fast run
+++
harvey danger
'flagpole sitta'
+++
now that was an interesting stack
overdriving th human body
faster than it can
run and
u get to feel how it feels
to have just that
ten percent more
hey man that
that
might just be
doable
+++
fucks ankles to take up runnin but
usin a unicycle as a
training
launch vehicle
get it to
just that
three k's faster than u can go and
it spits ya
th chip inside
hits th savage fuckin disk brake and
yr off and runnin
+++
think i wanna
manual switch but
is nice for some things to be on
automatic
+++
?an automatic unicycle
+++
city high
'song for you'
+++
i'd take th
energy drain
drivin th slush box
or
wotever
cvt technology
transmission steal or
w
otever th fuck we can cobble together
to have that
variable gearing
and be able to use th surf
more effectively
and little dude
marko
if i ge gears
even if i lose
twenty percent of my engine
's
power
i'm ridin downhill all th time i just
lean downhill a little harder
to make up for it
+++
th
knock off
holy roller
tyre
on janie
has pretty good traction
but much better traction when shes
workin wit h
oscilaltions of
th balanced
but unbalanced flywhel
+++
wot number of waves do we use ?
"a prime number"
+++
violent femmes
'lies'
+++
a prime number
it cant get along with any other number
+++
can we better our
prime number wheel
random number generator
it's chock full of magic numbers
+++
we take a speed hit and
spit another order of magnitude
of
random numbers
+++
"and bee closer to god ?"
+++
i dunno
+++
god is synchronicity yes ?
"only thing that make ssense to me"
"opposite of chaos"
th closer we can produce to absolute chaos
"th better th god effect"
+++
it's knowing how t use th
random number generator
once u;ve made it
"write th songs down as they play ont h radi or pc"
that;s too simple
+++
brisbane radio station b105 uses
barry the monkey
in reality
a random number generator
in the computer
to pick th next song
"all of th playlist"
+++
peter gabriel
'steam'
+++
get off th steam engine barry or i'll
plug ya with this twelve bore
that;s for humans to play on mungrel
+++
set th catapult to
papparazi
stand back
watch out for overspray
ah it's
just that when they hit th
besser block wall
solid reinforced concrete
at terminal velocity
it's messy man
it ;s a kindness to hit em with th twelve bore
before they hit the
wall
and fucking good sport
PULL
+++
steam driven catapult
gotta love it
+++
release the cassowarys
oh look
one of th fuckheads just laughed
that just gives it somethin to aim at man
be quiet
or u'll bee first
the first oen to
burst
+++
and you thought geese
were good guard dogs
+++
pcik up th caracass ?
yr jokin man
+++
tarz just feedin his chooks
+++
dont stick head over fence
trap take u clear into swimming pool
+++
violent femmes
'36 24 36'
+++
shovel nose rays
i keep em in a swimmin pool
make good eatin
you know
+++
tarz is off
"tarz is always off"
+++
iliekto fish for sharks in my swimming pool
is it my fault
th papparazi trap unloads into it
it's a targetting thing man
inthc omputer
they;r eworkin on it
+++
tenacious d
'keilbasa'
+++
in th meantime
i dont have to feed th fuckers
++
why the wall ?
their teeth get sore
it macerates their food
these are damaged sharks
in sick bay
+++
"hey dr alive"
sorry i grabbed yr sister's voice
"is cool man"
"within th rules of th book"
+++
the offspring
'welcome'
+++
flight sim
'TO88
+++
nirvana
'stay away'
+++
funny computer
+++
well th random number generator in
microsofts
windows xp media player 9
anyway
cause it's pickin th song titles
+++
i see magic everywhere
but this is good to hone
the psychic blade
+++
keep it sharp and
"deadly"
.
.
.
dr alive
"ruthless b man"
+++
p.s.
massive attack
'safe from harm'