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Subject: tales of suspension unicycle woe
From: the land surfer <pepp@cyberdude.com>
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Date: Sat, 11 Mar 2006 05:09:07 +0000
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===================
tales of suspension unicycle woe
+++
wot a cunt act
+++
radiohead
'just'(you do it to yourself)
+++
th 27 wheel wont fit
too much wheel runout
+++
maybe an extension of th unicycle hub mounting bracket
+++
hmm
+++
lucas th panel beater had a gander and
little brother ran his eye over it
craig stayed well clear
sensible boy
+++
it will work
just
might have to mount th
uniccyle hub mounts
external rather than internal
still got
crank clearance problems
+++
kylie minogue
'obsession'
+++
yeah
but what an obsession
+++
he threw me a fitty
so i'm out playin tonight
somewhere
+++
"i want a new drug dealer jennifer"
i'm not ringin er
+++
trust to karma
to point out th next one
she too slow and
painful to use
+++
having said that
she's generous
+++
k's havin a week off
so i umm
probly got like three days black work
which wouyld buy me a new unicycle hub
24 inch and
th boys all sayin
leave it as a 24
+++
joni mitchell
'big yellow taxi'
+++
yeah baby
you'll take paint off taxis
give me a brief time to get ya sorted
+++
course
th rego on th car is comin up
+++
fuck that
i'll take a loan for that
like last year
+++
its my birthday present to myself little brother
a working
out there
suspension unicycle
+++
gives me ten days
+++
have to be a mig welder job
if we use th
new unicycle hub design
"it had to happen"
+++
kevin bloody wilson
'wow did i get whacked'
+++
we chop up a
26 inch
suspension bicycle next time paulie
"k"
+++
i'll keep an eye out
in my travels
for an old style
unicycle hub
+++
"i dont mind respoking"
+++
four cones of
dried green and
+++
scuse i
.
.
.
tryin to decide
am i flyin on th unicycle
on vodka or bourbon
tonight
+++
"maybe beer"
+++
since my other lady dealer got busted
things just havent been th same
+++
it cost me fifteen in travelling money
to pick up a 25 th other day
that just aint
+++
it just aint
+++
th headphones have died
so i'm without music again
+++
have to take ambient
+++
falling joys
'lock it'
+++
th 24 hub in th prototype
sounds like it's got rocks in it
"beach sand"
+++
th wheel completely shagged
+++
"i'm impressed it scares th boys so much"
"hasnt turned a wheel yet"
"just a half wheel"
"in testing"
+++
th nephew was like
it's gunna be too tail heavy
half a mountain bicycle
shock still attached
put th earlier protype alongside it
half bicycle frame
reversed
with 27 uni wheel
look see young fella
almost exactly th same angles and
just th weight of this bit to contend with
not as heavy as
bongos balanced right on th tail
she'll ride
+++
wasnt too sure till i
put th half fucked surf unicycle alongside it
huge smiel man
+++
steal this
i kill you
+++
brother and th nephew have
gone to th car show
+++
c'mon little brother
yur a good fabricator
cum up with a fix
+++
jimmy barnes
'flame trees'
+++
we talked heatin th frame and
bending
but th wheel runout is too savage
dont really wanna remove th
triangular bracing
internal in th swingarm
+++
wot's robbie building ?
he wants th handlebars and gooseneck
+++
maybe an extension plate
+++
and reverse th
bolting procedure
+++
we still gunna have crank clearance problems paulie
"dig it"
+++
"it's modification"
"it's wot ya get"
+++
i could get a special hub made up
standard bearings and
lace th wheel myself
"36 hole ?"
+++
well 48 if we wanna go bush
+++
"hang on "
"wot are we building?"
mountain unicycle
with a swingarm
+++
do re mi
'man overboard'
+++
it'll work
+++
yur gunna spit me
arent ya, ya bitch
+++
bit like th first seven american astronauts
th boys already squidgin
i havent doen th deed yet
+++
they've seen me ride
+++
it's gotta be better
for crossin th traffic islands
+++
havin to air down
on bigger tyres
to get effective suspension
+++
th 24 frame so spread now
to run th rubber
she's fuckin bowlegged
+++
i wont have her ready to ride
tonight
so th 24 is
gunna hit some street furniture
"beer i think"
+++
do re mi
'warnings moving clockwise'
+++
umm
the unicycle man has some fire in th belly today
if yur not on th edge
get out of th fuckin road
+++
doesnt it hurt when ya crash ?
"no man, i'm too fuckin wasted"
+++
still havent broken a bone unicycling
+++
th weather's too crappy
to go out and hit a skatebowl
lookin into th eyes of a little boy
as i crest th top of th wall on one wheel
would take th edge off
+++
man i wanna ride that thing
+++
pulled a bunny hop on it
with all th bolts fingertight and
a collapsed wheel
and
all good
+++
nirvana
'smells like teen spirit'
+++
thanks media player
+++
ridin around th environment
i'm gunna be lookin
wot can i take on ?
+++
i love steep slippery
river banks
in th wet leaves
th knobbies
just slip predictably and
if ya fall down
who gives a fuck ?
+++
better trashed of course
+++
dont wanna female drug dealer anymore
rather live with th sore testicles
+++
if i went back to beer
as my primary
painkiller
there'd be a
personality change
sure
but umm
i can live with it
+++
pot makes me tame
well kinda
i still jump th centre divider of th road
on a unicycle
after midnight but
i do it selfconsciously
+++
the red hot chilli peppers
'track no04'
+++
th cops took one look at me
drivin to th shops before
and pulled a ewie
+++
didnt catch up with me
did ya
+++
th fro is a bit out there today
+++
i need a three hour ride on th wheel
just arguin with myself over th venue
+++
the fortitude valley
has th least amount of street furniture
but a bigger walking crowd
mindless missile sprites to th unicyclin surfin crowd
+++
foo fighters
'learn to fly'
+++
i wanna go surfin
flyin on my unicycle but
i want a challenging ride
+++
after all this rain
all th sidewalks will have more traction
+++
"and th big drains will still have running water"
"and no rocks"
+++
hmmm
+++
"and no fucking traction"
"all mossy again"
i've done it
+++
"here smoke this"
+++
scuse i
.
.
.
all th boys were around earlier
craig was gunna cart th cat away
jeez mate i dunno
+++
massive attack
'protection'
+++
th jag's had two dogs livin in it
+++
he dint cart it
still here
+++
finally got
little brothers fax machine programmed
so it only takes th faxline
complicated beast
+++
put that body over a range rover chassis craig
ah well
i;ve planted th seed
+++
that jeep sounds wild man
+++
"lemmee loose in his workshop"
"he turned out a beautiful shortie rangie"
+++
i checked th trading post
no unicycles
so many of em seem to
just sit under th stairs
"or ride back and forth"
+++
nah man i wanna cut it up
i chop bicycles and make unicycles
+++
fuckin girls bikes
there's too many of em
+++
safety bicycle
ugghhhhhhhhhhh
+++
ya sit down to pee
+++
well jennifer two unicycle
i've seen five little boys
eyes open wide
lookin at yur next incarnation
and we're only up to trial fit stage
+++
my first prototype
i welded together
no unicycle hub
and rode twenty feet
on half a bicycle before it collapsed
+++
the offspring
'the end of the line'
+++
ta
+++
picked up th mess
chucked a big smile
rewelded it and
put it on a stand
and whacked it in th lounge room
as a piece of art
+++
and built th real thing with a unicycle hub
a couple years later
+++
paitence
+++
doctor alive
my patience dont die
+++
"shutup jenny"
+++
"grind off that axle holder off th bottom of a modern one and"
"weld it"
"to a bracket"
+++
powderfinger
'how far have we really come?'
+++
half a pedal
it works
+++
shit no craig
i aint givin up smokin
then i can smell women
i'm sensitive enough
let it go
+++
ya mouthy cunt
+++
midnight oil
'luritja way'
+++
the verve
'velvet morning'
+++
tenacious d
'rock your socks'
+++
it's that fuckin humid
th sharks are overtakin ya in th street
+++
oh it;s got one wheel and
a shark fin on th bike hat
+++
that is cool man
"tell me about it"
+++
machine gun fellatio
'line of silver'
+++
th headphones have died so
i'll be hearin th
where's your other wheel ?
shit
+++
beer i think
+++
gotta trek to th pub shortly
+++
pink floyd
'sheep'
+++
<<<smile >>>
+++
ya gotta have edgecutter
+++
take th edge off
reality's too harsh
+++
will i take pooh bear off
th 24
strapped to th frame upside down
ya fat cunt
nah maybe not
+++
"little brother was ringin pooh to take her"
"son to th carshow"
not related paulie
+++
"<<smile >>>"
+++
i'm goin to lose
the adelaide street bus stops
my fave slalom course
cause they're puttin a bus depot
under king george square
heavy sigh
+++
all th sheep sit
politely
waiting for their bus
i shark my way thru and
go round things no bicycle can
on my way to th car
for another bourbon
+++
fuck man
+++
th city just wont be th same
+++
but there's lotsa other
street furniture to ride around and
you ppl
walkin hither and thither
now can i get round that post
thru th crowd gap and
back round th next post
yeah
easy as
+++
a really good surf is about
an hour in th saddle
+++
gets zen after an hour or so
+++
no feet
pedallin a flywheel
that stores inertia just
think left
go left
+++
"till it breaks traction"
cool
+++
might air down tonight
feel like slidin
+++
ben folds
'brick'
+++
half brick on standby
+++
when th local markets
bitumened their paths i
cried
my favourite unicycle sliding place
decomposed granite gravel and
slippery
places change
something you take for granted
disappears
+++
everywhere
i ride on one of my unicycles
ppl smile
it's addictive
that smile
+++
course
yur jaw hangin
unable to smiel and
more importantly
unable to talk
that's much better
+++
usually only takes
jumpin off th gutter
+++
you impress easily lady
th boys want at least twenty bunny hops
+++
how will it bunnyhop ?
+++
much less unsprung weight
"dickhead"
+++
placebo
'sleeping with ghosts'
+++
no
riding a unicycle that aint fully built yet
+++
tryin to grok it and
paulie wont let us
bolt everything up
and make th fucker work
while we're still online
+++
wont share that first ride
+++
just under five hours net access left
and counting
i'll be off soon paulie
+++
"it's my ride"
"it's not fucking about you"
+++
i ejaculate
therefore i am
.
.
.
the land surfer
pirate jenny(witchdoctor)
p.s.
tom petty
'free falling'
[rolling along on a flywheel]