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Newsgroups: alt.witchcraft,alt.adult.stories.text,alt.animals.wombat
Subject: deadly roof ( limited time )
From: the kadeecha man <pepp@cyberdude.com>
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Date: Thu, 21 Apr 2005 10:10:43 +0000
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===================
deadly roof ( limited time )
+++
there will come a day
when no human being
will walk on yur roof
to work on it
+++
and for this crap i fixed th aerial
fuck th abc
+++
off
+++
he says he nearly died today
does little brother
he doesnt say that often
it was a fucker of a roof
+++
we were expecting rain
but all we got was th smell of moisture in th air
all th dams are pretty well below 50%
sitnorm for australia really
+++
"how do ya fit it all in , in one day ?"
by sleeping till three thirty
+++
i'll just grab another hour at nine thirty
ah well
+++
unicycle's prepped and ready to go
+++
"th wind's up"
"could be interesting out there"
+++
scuse i
.
.
.
all audio
random
violent femmes
'i hate th tv'
play:
.
.
.
hmm
nice little bit of magic to start with
i started with a diatribe about th abc on telly
sorry
you may be uptime from me
dont know what you know
.
.
.
the black eyed peas
'latin girls'
.
.
.
thought i was choppin up marijuana for th mullbowl
"sorry"
.
.
.
i had a pair of scissors
.
.
.
ah that's much better
+++
nice hydro
hits like a hammer
lasts about as long
+++
still stretching
tryin to keep th
upper body supple
for th wheel like
th fucked sternum
keeps throwin things out
but mobility is up
small pain price for th stretching
good gains
specially round th slalom posts on th wheel
"and it makes auto erotica easier"
ok you
+++
comes in handy
when somebody in th crowd
wants to shove th unicycle rider to th ground
my body's got a fuck of a lot of give
not today darlin
+++
good charlotte
'track 12'
+++
sorry
it's pirated
'i'm young and i'm hopeless'
+++
i went to my brothers
fourtieth birthday party
out there in th country pub
where we both used to play
to find ppl at th table
talkin about my body
and my little brother tellin th crowd i only eat once a day
eighty percent easy
at th table
were overweight
i'm slightly under if anything
but pretty well always been that way
th unicycle though
tones everything
got some nice compliments
+++
more good charlotte
'track 14'
+++
strange windows media player
+++
'keep movin on'
i guess
hard to pick a title from inside a song these days
+++
yeah i could
log onto th net
and do a search on th lyrics i can understand
usually works
if i could be bothered
+++
havent got much net time left for this pension cheque
a week to go
and dont know what i earned this week yet
not bothered
everything is
as it is
+++
got a porn backlog
to review
used to be much harsher
throwin th dross away
but hard drives got so much bigger and quicker
+++
shakesperars sister
'catwoman'
+++
what'll i tell her this time when she rings ?
i love you but
no fucking way
not liivng with or loving another mad redhead
specially an ex model
+++
got photos in here somewhere
of th last time we hooked up
sittin on a riverside holdin hands
made me play guitar at a bunch of hippie communes
dragged me to some guys mansion for th night
he nowhere to be seen
pls do this gig for th kiddies at th hall paulie
and me down there to do a
tribute
to th unicycle man of byron bay
who'd killed himself
all th kids smiled anyway
blew my car up driving th three hours home
havent seen ya since
+++
nirvana
'breed'
+++
every now and then in a cleanup
i come across th photos
+++
dirty dancing with you
and that other redhead we picked up
and th look on yur face
when we took er home
and she jumped on yur boyfriend
and you chucked a spack
so i had to fuck er at her place
in a single bed with a mirror each end
and was nine hours late for a date with doris
trekked in doris's door
said some bad words about myself
and crashed
doris fucked me at lunchtime
and we both came down th hill
to have some cones with you and womble
by midafternoon
"<<< smile >>>"
+++
khia remix
'lick my pussie, my neck my back'(rob jnr remix)
+++
kristin hersh
'echo'
+++
still echoes round my brain
th fun tiems we had
together
at th band table and
doin joints in th ladies toilets
and freakin th other band members girlfriends out
and womble blowing out
+++
not one girl dsaid anything nasty man
and one came back with a boyfirend
after askin if she could
fuck he was funny
had one good pull on th joint
and immediately blew out
hey im in a girls dunnie
now that guy
would never screw a chick in th girls toilets
+++
i think he sits down to pee
after he left
wasnt nasty to him
to his face
poor guy
and catwoman goes
"that reminds me"
and abandons me
to go have a pee
standin there alone
talkin to catwoman
thru th door
and finishin th joint
girls walkin in and out
sayin hi and
we did have a good time
+++
ween
'voodoo lady'( live )
+++
sittin in a session room
smokin drugs with cawmaon
her boyfriend on stage
out th back
there's a jam goin and im singin
background
as is my want
and th drummer walks ina nd sits down
waits his turn at th bong
and compliments catwoman on her singin
im sittin ther sid eof her
we both ahve th thick curlie
frizzy mass of
anyway
he didnt see me
she cant sing a note
which she cops to staraight away
no that's paulie
and i get a handshake and a smile
and he pases th bong to me
it's all good
everyone in th seession room
thought we were togther
till womble wandered in
and catwoman copped to it
"no we're just mates"
"goin to drop womble home"
"he's out to it"
"me and paulie are goin dancin"
+++
i got one dance at a kids dance
+++
and i was th star of th show
+++
fuckin hell
at least all their parents were drinkin
piss with me at th pub
and blowin cones with me upstairs on th pub verandah
before th performance
and after
extreme unicyclin man
kids thought i was gunna go right over th top of em
ya gotta get in th middle of th hall
and lose some really big ones
big crashes
take their trust away
and then start doin unicycle slides
fuck they scream
but that's when they piss emselves laughin
ya dig it ?
its where th laughter response comes from
just liek with babies
+++
"how do you do that ?"
i got no idea
i'm too stoned
and i had five bourbons pushed down my throat in th last hour
+++
the kinks
'dandy'
+++
small towns are fuckin fun
+++
th time before that
in that little town
womble and i sang in th pub
for four hours
half standup with womble
fuck we had a good time
and i had jane on my arm
nother redhead
+++
wonder what colour wombles current flame has
he keeps askin me to visit
+++
city high
'caramel'
+++
hmm
+++
nice computer
stop freaking me out
+++
it's all good
think i might do some more drugs
+++
im an aboriginal elder
and photography of aboriginals
is a sensitive issue
even if i was brought up white european
not surfing in th surf
in daylight
on th unicycle anymore
i've had it with th cameras
at first light
th surf unicycle goes back in th car
"ok wiz"
fuck em
+++
thosuands
literally thosuands o fphtos
of my caramel body
surfin on a unicycle in th surf
and about
one percent ask
before they take em
and of th one percent
not one offers me a copy
+++
city high
'caramel' remix
+++
hmm
just played it twice
+++
"that;s three wiz"
+++
whose art is it ?
"th wizard's"
+++
my arent you clever
you can push a button down
and take a lovely dynamic picture
of something rare
my unicycle in a foot of white water
you squeel
you exclaim
i cant fucking see it
it's my art
+++
may as well be in th dark
+++
and not on spotlit beaches anymore
too many drunk boys
decide th clown has arrived
and run out into th surf
to take th clown out
+++
ram jam
'black betty'
+++
"its; th song th dj picked"
"for th unicycle wizard performance in that hall"
k
+++
no you cant have a fucking photo
+++
keepin this part of it for me
you can get fucked
+++
"wiz"
yes jenny
"have a cone man"
.
.
.
not impressed by drop dead gorgeous women
runnin after me
to get a photo taken with em
been there done that
.
.
.
the offspring
'americana'
.
.
.
everywhere you fuckin go on a unicycle
some fuckwit human being
wishes to make public comment
fuck you
you talk too much
and um
mostly you say th same thing
th last fuckwit said
.
.
.
"where's yur other wheel ?"
i dont ride a fuckin girls bike with a training wheel
+++
do re mi
'man overboard'
+++
"workin saturday ?"
weather dependant at this stage
"wizard in town friday night ?"
dont think so
gotta finance th wizard
anything extracurricular anyway
"singin and drummin and wheelin thru town"
yeah
done it five years jen
lets give it another break
not as scary as it was
"it's a habit that;s stuck"
wot's my history say ?
"work at it till you think you;ve cracked it"
placebo
'running up that hill'
"then walk away and go find something else tp play at"
+++
"winter season"
+++
"we didnt ride th surf last winter"
cant do both on a pension
what would you rather be ?
surfer or singer
"singing has been winning"
what percentage of buskers that you ride past
cough something straight to you
as soon as you stop
?
"not prepared to answer that"
that is yur answer
+++
"north coast"
"georgia"
not necessarily
and melinda up that way too
and a cousin
+++
kylie minogue
'still standing'
+++
it's closer
we played th lights
we know what's there
+++
"yesterdays post we said it was a steep fucker"
he didnt liek from th first
"why we were on it ?"
maybe
+++
"she's lit yur hunger for th surf"
"has purple"
not for fuckin tiddlers
+++
wot's my definition of freedom ?
"i dont wanna be that repetetive"
good enough
+++
river phoenix and johnny depp
'i save cigarette butts'
+++
so do i
+++
i'm sorry babe
th wizard cant make it
nirvana
'love buzz'
to where you are
and take care of my body
at th same time
it sucks that it's
money related
but
i cant afford any of my girlfriends
+++
jane wants to go out
and suck some bourbons
and some cones
and my dick
but i wont call her back
+++
aint payin your entertainent budget
have enough trouble payin mine
+++
sorry and all that
wish you could go down on yourself
hugs and kisses
+++
should i call th maid ?
+++
radiohead
'creep'(acapella)
+++
right on cue
+++
this girl yelled out to me
from th crowd
real men ride girls
ok sweetie
real men fall off unicycles
do a better job of lookin after male testicles anyway
+++
dont marry for sex
+++
figures say you'll get less
+++
and experience too
+++
"morticia still wants to meet for a coffee"
or a bottle of stones mac with hayley
i know
+++
george carlin
'house of blues'
+++
have i sung enough blues ?
+++
i havent sung about dad bein a murderer in th street
but it's part of th reason im there
+++
ma daddy offed ma mummy
and he inflcited some major torture
first bullet was wild
+++
pink floyd
'dogs'
+++
can hear th neighbourhood dogs barking
unseen
with pin floyd version
slowly unspinning in front of me
in th pc
i'd stick my head out th window and yell at em
but i didnt noctice embarkin
till i read th word dogs
hmm
selective deafness
ah no
they;ve just stopped barking
<<< smile >>>
it's nice to have magic
and to practise
magic
i didnt start
by riding a unicycle in th surf
i started hangin on to a post
magic's much th same
how do you practise magic and see yur results ?
do you really still need to ask that question ?
grab a pen
or a keyboard
and start writing
lying to yurself however
slows you down
let yur subconscience talk to you
it's a lot smarter than you give it credit
and it makes all yur decisions
.
.
.
land surfer dude
+++
p.s.
E and O E
+++
errors and omissions excepted
+++
naturally
+++
you can stick yur camera up yur arse
im a black magic man
and yur not getting my magic for nuthing
the kadeecha man