Path: not-for-mail
Newsgroups: alt.fan.harry-potter,alt.adult.stories.text,alt.april
Subject: boys get wet (*secret mens business")
From: the stoned unicycle man <pepp@cyberdude.com>
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Date: Mon, 04 Apr 2005 14:13:18 +0000
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===================

boys get wet (*secret mens business")
***

"i heard a big crack"
dont stress
just a vertebra lettin go

+++

"havent cracked that one before"
progress

***


and bend 
and stretch
and together with th right

***


"fuckin broken sternum"

***


"im gunna go download bridgette kerkove pics"
arse bandit

***

so jenny 
are ya thinkin ?
ya maybe never fucked a porn star

"Well"


***


"th pub prickteaser followed by th "
"lesbian that was chasin her as well"
"was a biggie"

yeah alright
so she gave good head

***


sometimes
yur stretchin away
and one of th discs releases
in yur back

with a fuckin loud bang

really gentle pressure
is that thing called gravity though

i dont bounce

+++


"loose arse has figured out"
"that our knowledge of ..."

[deleted]

i'm not supposed to know those things

***


"turning off th nervous system"

[deleted]

***


i only been doin yoga for 31 years
bout time i learned something

***


"12 weeks from start of stretching"
"to tongue to penis"

***

now you have to die

***


secret mens business
less of course yur not a chick


then it's perfectly alright

***


this document will piss on yur leg in three minutes


***
OW

"hey ?"
"psychic pain emanation"

.
.
.


BANG


"what the fuck was that ?"


***


sorry i hit a drum

***



got a sore hand now

OW

***



patience brother

it's not a 
time based goal

about results
 
***


"takes as long as it takes"
bit like long distance riding on a unicycle

***


"ok"

***


"quarter past eleven at night"

i got some muscles wanna go work


"will that one crack again ?"
experience says no


just keep up th range of movement


"five years paulie"
i'm a patient man

fuckin sidecars
do nasty things to backs

i had much to heal

***


havent had this much range of motion since i was fifteen

***


i could already put my legs behind my ears though


***



nice body

stay




stay





***



"we could fly th unicycle in th morning"


or we could keep our abs



"ok"
"let me get dressed"


***


.
.
.

ya ever tried to fart while riding a unicycle ?
"yeah about five mintues ago"

gotta hold th seat with one hand
and push th arse up in th air

it
's just fuckin undignified

"ya could just stop"

ah yeah


pull up
dismount

fart

then remount and ride on

fuck off

i aint gettin off th wheel

***


well th nuts are comfortable numb now


***


time for some drugs


shouldnt you be stickin yur fuckin troll 
nose in somebody else's shit now ?


.
.
.




the stoned unicycle man

***

p.s.


canterin's dead easier now
"yeah i dont get that"
"will suspension fuck up that gait ?"


treddin on secret unicycle pilots business there jennifer
you wanna get me fuckin killed ?

***


"'ll b alright"

"only third dan master unicyclists know what yur talkin about"

***

well at least fiftten years experience anyway

some can do it in eleven



but they're extra ordinary...


***

the unicycle man says dont ride in rubber thongs
"specially heavy bastards liek those ones"

most especially
dont ride over traffic islands in thongs on YOUR unicycle

"and fucking fall off twice"
hey
at least i'm ridin a  boy's bike


i dont need a fucking training wheel
show some fucking respect


"cocksucker..."


    

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