Perverts 'R' Us

The Missing Father

By Pedro Vila (ped, noir)

Note: All people and events in this story are entirely fictitious.


"My daddy is so deep in me now." Said the little girl.

My mind went reeling. On vacation. Twisted visions danced around and
stuck out their tongues at me. I grew a third leg under my desk. I
thought the little girl would notice the sound of my heart echoing off the
walls of my office and run off.

"I can still feel him there. I know he's still alive." she said,
apparently unaware of my demons dancing around. One of them was peeking up
her skirt.

I shook my head clear and came back to reality. Missy Hargrove was all
of ten years old and well educated and poised. She was the current head of
her household while her father was away on business. He was long overdue
and she wanted me to find him.

"You got the wrong guy, Missy." I always called young girl clients
'Missy'. This time it had no sting to it. "I look for lost children. You
aren't missing."

Her beautiful eyes beguiled me. Her soft face with it's smattering of
freckles looked at me with sadness. Her composed attitude under such
circumstances was winning my heart. This girl was like someone was peeking
into my dreams. Easy, Sam. Don't let a pretty face make you jump into
something you can't handle.

"I know." she said. "But I can't tell anybody without risking our house
and fortune. There are wolves circling all the time. I have no other
relatives. I would become a ward of the state and meanwhile, they would be
fighting over our fortune."

"Your breaking my heart." I said coldly. Inside she was really breaking
my heart.

Missy jerked at my words but looked me in the eyes all the same. Brave
girl! I must have given it away some how because she saw something in my
eyes and then smiled lightly. I reminded myself not to play poker with
her.

Missy stood then but instead of heading to the door, she walked casually
to my desk. "Listen, Mr. Ped." Her voice was soft and sure of itself. "I
know your a good and honest detective. I know your better at finding
runaway girls then anybody else around." She was trying to butter me up.
"I know your resourceful and intuitive." It was working a little too. "And
I know you have your own ethics even if other people don't understand
that." She was good. I leaned back in my chair and tried to keep my
thoughts pure. Missy blew that by sitting sideways on the edge of my desk.
I could trace the outline of her perfectly curved body from top to bottom.
I started to imagine her undergarments.

Missy was smiling at me knowingly. I was caught. I looked away.

"We would have to work together on this too. You would be seeing allot
of me." She slid her hem up to just show her knee. It was too much.

"Stop it now!" I said abruptly and stood. "Listen sister. I don't crap
where I eat." I walked over to the sink to splash water onto my face. I
looked down and my third leg was still fully grown. I had walked across
the room in front of her with it. Without turning I asked, "Where did you
learn to manipulate people like that? Your father?"

Missy giggled and it sounded like a ten year old then. The first time
since she walked into my office. "It's a gift, I guess. Daddy told me not
to use it unless I absolutely had to. I had to, you see?" I picked up a
newspaper and held it low as I tried to look natural walking back to my
desk. Missy muffled another giggle with her hand. She looked at me with
those sparkling blue eyes and I felt nothing but warmth from them. "You
see?" she continued. "I knew you were a good man. I can trust you. And I
really need your help."

I leaned back again and thought. Of all the girls I'd ever met, this
one was the crown jewels. I was crazy for even thinking anything good
could come from this. More likely I would be taking it bending over before
this was through. But Right then I would have done anything for those
eyes.

I should have pulled my revolver and shot myself in the head. Instead I
said, "Sure, okay. What would it hurt to try?" Missy brightened only for a
moment and was back to playing adult again. "So..." I said standing and
getting my coat. My extra leg had finally healed. "How far would you have
taken it if I called your bluff?"

"Bluff?" she asked, confused.

"When you sat on my desk and stuck that pose. You know, the one that
said... you know what it said."

Missy made the giggle face but I heard nothing. "Yes. I know about
sex."

"Have you ever had it?" Cut to the chase. That's me.

"I've had three marriage proposals."

Yeah, but none of them would have loved you like I would. "That's not
what I asked." I said aloud.

"I know." Missy stopped in my hallway and turned to me. "I've never
been with a man. I've never even kissed one. Is that what you wanted to
know?"

"And you would have done all that to get me to look for your father?"

Missy looked dead serious and much older for a moment. "I would have
done even more." Then I saw a glimmer of a scared little girl before a door
slammed shut behind her eyes. I promised myself then and there that I
would find her father somehow.

Missy took me to her fathers household and I acted as disinterested in
her as I could be. She knew it was an act. Missy had all my numbers.

We rummaged through her fathers desk much to the dismay of the butler
but we found very little. I asked about every detail I could think of but
nobody even knew where he had gone to much less how. No airlines or trains
or even busses had his name on record. A search with DMV showed none of
his cars impounded or abandoned. But it was not long before a clue arrived
in a small box coming from the postman that afternoon.

It was addressed to the household with no return address. It was the
butler who saw it's contents first. Then he turned white and fainted. I
looked it and saw a ransom note and a severed finger. I closed the box and
tried to play it cool. Missy wasn't biting and snatched the box from me
before I could react. She looked in and froze. I helped her to a chair.
Her hair smelled fresh. I felt like a creep.

The package was post marked locally from downtown. The finger had not
been off more then a day. He was close by.

I left Missy with her house staff and hit the streets. I should have
been thinking about the case but my thoughts kept drifting back to Missy.
By the time I reached a certain hangout, Missy had taken the form of Venus
the Goddess of Love. I shook my head clear. I needed my senses sharp
here.

"Hey, Ped." Someone greasy slid into the chair next to me. "I got a
little girl who got sold by her mother. She's still pretty fresh. Want to
buy her offa me?" His leer pissed me off and I became more of myself again.

"You selling children, Scred? You know better then to come to me with
that. What's to stop me from putting you down right now?" I glared. Scred
threw up his hands like it was all a misunderstanding.

"No. You got me wrong. I thought you might want to save her from what
she's about to become. I wasn't going to sell her to you, I just have to
pay off on her and I don't have to money, is all." His greasy smile could
have clogged arteries. "I knew you not into that stuff."

I sighed. He was lying, but at least he gave me the chance to get her
first. "How old?"

"Nine years old, man. And skinny."

"How much?"

"Well, you see, her mom is in hock for five grand. But she looks ready
to make a hundred time that for the right people."

I could have just beat him for the info but that would be a one time
shot, and there were always going to be kids left in the wrong places.
"You stand on her. Don't let anyone touch her and I'll get you cash."

"When?"

"You wait. She turns one trick before I'm back then your history.
Gone! Think anyone will notice?" Scred didn't look pleased but left it. He
got up to slide off but I grabbed his greasy arm first. "Hey, you wanna
double it?"

He was back in a flash. "Sure man."

"I need information. A kidnapping. Rich guy. Sent a finger in the
mail. Not in the papers. Know anything?"

Scred looked unsure. I prodded. "Ten thou cash. No one will know
where I got the low down. My word."

"Stoolies don't get to live long around here, man."

"Then tell me where to ask." Scred thought about it. I could tell he
knew something. "Twelve thousand."

Scred's greed was too fast for his own self preservation. He blurted
out, "Cyclone Boys." then tried to cover his mouth as if it would have
helped keep him quiet.

I patted his shoulder as I got up. "Thanks."

Scred shouted at me as I walked out. "You promised Twelve! You
promised!!" I didn't turn around as the door closed behind me.

The Cyclone boys were young punks who just all happened to be sons of
wrecking yard owners. They thought long and hard for a name and I think
they stared at the cyclone fence for an hour before the name on the fence
plate gave someone a bright idea. They weren't very smart but they were
pretty mean when they wanted to be. I didn't know were they met but I knew
where to find Tommy.

Tommy liked to hang out at the garage and jack things from cars. He
never got much but needed to prove he was tough because the Cyclone Boys
wouldn't let him join. Something about his being thirteen or something
like that.

I snuck up on Tommy as he tried to open a Buick. Tommy tried to run but
he had trouble making his feet touch the ground as I held him up by the
collar. "You!"

Tommy slouched. "I wasn't doing anything."

I played him. "I don't give a shit about you. You need to tell Boomer
that the hideout has been compromised. They need to move the package
quick."

"What?"

"The cops are on to them. They need to move fast."

"Who... who are you?"

"What?!" I was angry. "Hey! Your not even with them are you? Why am I
wasting my time with you? I got to get the message to them and your
jacking me off here."

"No! No!" he stammered. "I'm one of them! I tell Boomer. I'm his
personal friend."

"No. This is too important. I'd better go."

"Really. I can tell him quickly. You can count on me."

I stared him down. "If you blow this, you'll be sleeping with the
fishes." I read to many crime novels. "I mean it."

"I... I won't." and then Tommy ran off. I walked quietly down the
stairs and followed in my car. Tommy had to stop a few times to catch his
breath. He didn't even look to see if he was being followed. Stupid kid.
No wonder they wouldn't let him join.

It turned out the hideout was in Grover's Junkyard. That meant dogs and
lots of hiding places. Not great, but do-able. I stayed out of sight and
saw some heads poking out now and then to check Tommy's story. A van was
parked down the street and this seemed to be of interest to them. They
thought it was a surveillance van. It was enough to spook them out.

Ten minutes later, two cars and a tow truck pulled out with Boomer
driving the truck. Their plan was to have the cops follow the cars while
the package was in the trunk. Good plan. The real cops would have seen
through it in no time.

I followed Boomer and he parked in front of an empty house in a rundown
neighborhood. He sat in the truck and waited for his friends to arrive.
That was an opportunity for me. I loosened my tie and lost my hat to look
drunk and then I staggered towards him. He spotted me halfway to him and I
saw his hand reach for something under the seat. I played really drunk. I
fished for a smoke, dropping most of them and slurred for a light.

"Fuck off ya bum, if ya know what's good for ya!" He sounded real tough
for someone going up against a drunk.

"Ahh, come on, budsy. How bout a light?" I then laid like I was going
to pass out over his hood. Boomer jumped out to teach me a lesson. He was
young and strong and could have put me down in a flash. He though I was a
helpless drunk and he didn't see the butt of my gun hit him. I pulled him
back to his seat and laid him against the wheel. There was nobody in the
truck with him and I figured I must have slipped up somewhere. That's when
I heard snoring from the back.

Missy's dad was in a large tool box out cold. There was blood on his
head and a bloody rag around one hand. I got him into my car and passed
one of the Cyclone Boys on the way out. They didn't even give a first
look.

I was lucky on this case. The pieces fell into place for me fast and I
was able to save two lives. Missy helped me buy the girl from Scred. That
didn't leave much left for me though. Boomer and the Cyclone Boys were in
the clink and Missy's father had some stitches and nine fingers. He didn't
complain.

He thought I was the greatest detective in the world until one of the
real cops whispered something to him. The look he gave to me and to Missy
then told it all. Missy held him like she would never let go and didn't
even seem to notice when I bowed out.

Nickles was outside waiting for me. "I have to hand it to you." he said
to me. "I thought for sure you'd try to get into her pants, her being
vulnerable like that."

"You thought wrong. Not my style."

"She'll make quite a lady someday."

"She's a lady now." I said and turned to walk away.

I heard a knock on my apartment door. Small knock. It didn't go away
while I sat so I got up to answer it. I was in a foul mood. Someone could
have gotten hurt knocking on my door then. That changed as I stood staring
face to face with Missy. It had been a few days and I wanted to get over
her by then. Fat chance now. I left the door open and went to sit back
down. Missy came in and looked around.

I lived alone. Not even a cat. Then place was small but clean with
basic furniture and a Shirley Temple poster on one wall. Missy went to look
at a few framed pictures I had up. Me when I was younger, serving
overseas, where I got my first taste of underage companionship, before I
understood better. I didn't mention any of this to Missy.

"I'm sorry I didn't come to talk to you before. You must feel like I
was using you." Missy said turning. "It was daddy. He was grateful and
all that but he didn't want me to ever see you again."

I waved my hand. "Don't sweat it. I get that all the time." Missy
looked as beautiful as ever. Her hair was styled like a teen pop singer on
TV. Her dress looked expensive and flashy. It showed just enough to peek
the right mans interest without looking racy. Missy wore it with class. I
felt out leagued.

"You are a very good man. Very upright and honest. You are my knight
in armor." Missy said unsurely. She said it anyway.

"You wouldn't think that if you knew what I was thinking right now." I
countered.

"I do know what your thinking right now." Missy said back and headed for
the door. I looked away. I didn't want to watch her walk out of my life
right then. When the door latched I sighed and leaned my head back. Well,
I still had my dreams.

The floor creak alerted me and my head snapped back up. Missy was still
in my apartment! "I thought you left." Missy shook her head and took a
step towards me. "You don't have to do this. You should save yourself for
the right time."

"This is the right time." she said.

"And for the right person."

"You are the right person."

I shook my head. "Missy. You are only ten years old. Even if you are
smart and mature, you should wait."

Missy was standing in front of my chair right then. I wanted to hold
her. I kept still. "Sam, I know what you want from me but you can't have
it."

"That's what I'm saying."

"No. Your thinking about sex. I'm going to give you that." my heart
skipped a beat. "But you want more and that I can't give you yet." Missy
sat side saddle on my lap. She was warm and small and I was afraid I would
throw her off with my sudden erection. She looked me in the eyes. "Your
in love with me. I can see it."

I looked away. "You got me wrong."

Missy giggled and I melted. she said, "Your a tough guy. I know. I'm
a tough guy too." Then I got to be Missy's first adult kiss. She was
surprisingly good at it.

I knew I might never see her again. She was small and I had to be
gentle, but I made love to her with all the love and passion a man can hope
to give to a child's first time.

Yeah, she had my number. But I had a few of hers too.