Perverts 'R' Us

My Dear Diary - Chapter 25 - Daddy's Home!

By Purpuss ( g+-bi/b+/M+, 1st, pedo, anal, cons )

Submitted by Kamkat

Coupla months later and almost time to go back to school (Dammit!)

Hello diary! Sorry I didn't write anything here for all this time, but a LOT has happened to me over the summer!

We all just got back from Jacque's summer NUDIE camp where we found new models for Jessie to take pictures of for Jacque's secret "Lolita-Suckers" website! Man! We had SO much fun there… but so MUCH happened, I figure I better write about all THAT later on… Cause the BESTEST thing happened soon after we got back!

Daddy's HOME!

That's right! Dear ol' Santi brought my special secret wish to me early!

It all happened yesterday, which was a Sunday morning, and Lauri was here cause she spent the night over and we were sitting in our kitchen with Jessie… all of us butt-naked as usual when Aunt Sarah is off to church… And Jessie was eating blueberries out of Lauri's snatch after she stuffed maybe a whole QUART of 'em up there just to give her boyfriend, (my brother!) a special treat for cumming in each ONE of us that morning when we woke up! She figured he needed to get all the vitamins she could feed him, 'cause we were planning on fucking Jessie most of the rest of the day… Jessie was sucking them out of her pussy, goin' "Ummm!" and "Yummy!" when each spermy blob of blueberries plopped out on his waiting tongue.

"Euuuu!" Lauri squealed. "You're eating your own CUM! That's SICK! Doesn't that gross you out?"

"Heck no!" Jess paused to explain, his slime dribbling down from the edge of his mouth, "It's just being RE-CYCLED anyway!"

So I was sitting across from them, Lauri's butt was up there on the table with her knees pulled back so Jess could get his face between her messy thighs and get his long tongue deep up her cunt, slurping out the squirting blueberries… and I was reading the milk carton after making a bowl of Frosty Tiger Flakes for myself… That's when I noticed Billy Barton's face looking back at me! His picture on the milk carton made him look like he was as sweet as an angel in Aunt Sarah's church choir! And above it were printed the words: "Have you seen this lost child? Last seen with Deap Wepossie!" Below Billy's phony face was a picture of our substitute teacher that made her look like a wicked gansta witch or something!

"Good Grief! Poor Deep Wetpussy!" I exclaimed. "She's wanted by the FBI!"

But just then the front doorbell rang, and Jess cursed some really bad words cause he had to take his face from Lauri's pretty little snatch and go put on some shorts to answer it. Me and Lauri hid on each side of the kitchen door so we could peek around the edge to see who was there. Jess opened the door and there was another OPPS special deliveryman! It wasn't the same black boy we had (hee-hee!) before-this was an older fat white guy, chewing on a burnt-out cigar while he questioned my brother, "Is this the McKenna residence?"

"Actually, no. It's my aunt's house, but I'm a McKenna and I live here." says Jess.

"Are you sure?" The man asked, trying to look around Jess.

"Course I'm sure!" Jess answered him irritated, "Why?"

The man had a wooden box on a handcart and he acted like he wasn't in any hurry to deliver it… "Well," He said, switching his cigar from one side of his mouth to the other, still sneaking peeks around Jess who was blocking the doorway, "See dis story got around at da warehouse… an' I won dis raffle an all… ta work on my Sunday off, just t'make dis here SPECIAL delivery…"

"SO? What t'hell IS it?" Jess growled getting impatient, not knowing if the box was even for us at all, and unable to open it yet either without signing for it first.

"Oh! Da box! Heck if I know! I jus deliver th'stuff! So like I wuz sayin… You don't got you no sistas an maybe dis little black girl libin' here witch-ja, do yuz?"

Lauri and me giggled into our hands. "Nah man! You got th' wrong house!"

"I cudda sworn th' kid said it's the McKenna place! Okay, never mind… Sign here."

The man hefted the crate into our house and dropped it with a thump on the floor. Just before turning to leave, me and Lauri bent way over in the doorway where he could see our twin naked moons. Ha! The guy's cigar dropped right outta his mouth before Jess slammed the door SMACK on his face! We rushed into the hallway to see what we got-where Jess held a letter in his hand and eyed us real suspiciously.

"So what does it SAY?" I asked, avoiding his eyes to look over the chest-high box. It had holes drilled through the top of it and colorful picture stickers were plastered all over.

"It says," Jess read, "'Your pet has arrived in excellent condition by riding in our spacious pressurized cargo bin. Be aware that the rigors of air travel are strenuous for small animals. For this reason, your pet MAY bite when first released! We are NOT legally responsible in ANY WAY for this natural reaction. Thank you for traveling on Aloha Airlines!' Jeez! What t'HELL?"

"Maybe it's a monkey!" Lauri jumped up and down excitedly.

"Nah, there' no monkeys in Hawaii!" Jess answered her, looking more closely at the crudely-built box. "Besides, this crate's been around the whole WORLD! These are freight stickers from Algiers to Katmandu to Bombay!"

Inside we thought we heard a soft whining… and then, sure enough, the box definitely THUMPED!

"I ain't touchin' it! It SOUNDS like he's whackin' OFF!" Lauri stammered, backing away in fright.

"Jessie!" I stamped my foot. "There's no way to tell what's INSIDE unless you OPEN it first! Go get the hammer while Lauri and me make sure it doesn't escape!"

While Jess went to look for the hammer Lauri kept a safe distance, but I tried seeing what's inside by peering through a dark air-hole on top. "DON'T Amy!" She shouted! "Maybe it's a SNAKE an' it'll slither up the hole and suck out yer EYEBALLS!"

Good grief! That little kid has the wierdest imagination! But I backed off anyway… just in case she COULD be right!

Jess got back with the hammer and started whackin' away, pulling and knocking boards off one side, tossing splintered wood all over the floor. It didn't take long before we saw there was a rope-tied burlap bag inside… That's odd!

"Maybe it's a bag of rocks!" Lauri ventured from a good ten feet away.

"Rocks don't need airholes or whine or go 'thump' Lauri!" I reminded her.

"Oh yeah…" She mumbled nervously.

"What t'HELL!" Was all Jess could come up with.

"Man! I don't know what you guys are so scared of!" I said as I reached in the box and pulled the loop of the rope free. The bag fell away, and inside was a face! "D-daddy?" I whispered.

It sure LOOKED like my daddy's face in the picture I have of him and mom on my dresser… but his hair was half-gone and one side of his face drooped, making his eye look off kinda funny. And his face was on a neck on his chest… but where was the REST of him?

"DAD!?" Jess cried, having finally recovered. "No SHIT! It IS you, isn't it dad?"

The eyes rolled and one stubby arm tried to wave, but the only sound daddy made was a muffled "murrf!" Jess looked more closely and noticed a wad of paper had been carefully stuffed into his mouth! He pried daddy's lips and teeth apart and carefully extracted the obstruction. He un-balled it and pressed it flat on the crate. It was a note! It read:

"So what does THAT mean? They stuck his dick back on with knitting needles?" I asked.

"That's what it says…" Jess answered.

"But what does 'inverted' mean?"

"It means they sewed it on upside-down!"

"Euuuuu! COOL!" Exclaimed Lauri who had walked over to join us at the side of daddy's crate. "Let me see!"

So we peeled down the rest of daddy's burlap bag. Daddy had no legs anymore, so he sat on his big swollen balls-his banana-shaped cock bent stiffly downwards, instead of pointing back up.

"Jeez!" I whispered, "He LOOKS as hard and bent as the bathtub faucet!"

"That musta happened after he woke up. I think dad's got a perpetual hardon now!" Jess observed.

"Hey! He's tapping his claw on the box!" Lauri cried, and sure enough, daddy was hitting the wood crate with the only fingernail he had left on his middle finger at the end of his burn-fused, crab-like arm.

"Wait-a-minute! That's Morris Code!" Jess exclaimed.

Years ago dad taught Jess how to read and send taps when he was a Cub Scout. It's called Morris Code, and Jess says people used to send messages that way long before the Instant Messaging! So Jess ran to get a piece of paper and a pencil to write down what all of daddy's frantic tapping meant! Meantime, Lauri and me were sided up closely to the box, checking out daddy's peculiar water-spout-lookin' pecker, wondering which way to bend over to make THAT thing fit right! But just then daddy's middle-fingernailed claw shot out and slipped right up little Lauri's pussy! "YIKES!" She squealed, hopping up on her tiptoes.

I took daddy by his cheeks so he'd be looking straight at me and told him, "Daddy, that's my best friend Lauri! I'M Amy! I'm your REAL little girl! Did you think she was me?"

Daddy's eyes misted over and a real tear ran down his burn-scared cheek. His mouth quivered for a moment, then twisted up sideways when he finally uttered his first real word, "AGG-MEE?"

"YES! YES, Daddy! It's ME! AMY! You said my NAME! You REMEMBER!" And I bent down to kiss his tear away but all of a sudden felt that jerky claw of his poke right up my BUTT! "YA-EEEE!" I squirmed.

Jess ran up then and helped by pulling daddy's gnarled stump out from between my bare cheeks… Daddy had pretty good aim with that thing, I could tell!

"Okay dad, I'm ready!" Jess announced, squatting down besides the box with a notepad in his lap. Daddy's face took on a look of abject horror-his eyes rolled from one of us to the other, his hand shook furiously as it poised against the lid of his box.

"It's okay daddy," I encouraged him, "You're HOME now! You can tell us all about it!"

Daddy's brow was beaded with sweat so I wiped that off as he hesitantly started rapping his fingernail on the wood… TAP-TAP… TAP-TAP-TAP… TAPPED-E-TAP-TAP…

This went on for quite awhile, but then he abruptly stopped. His mouth stretched open in a macabre silent scream, his eyes wild with fright!

"What did he SAY?" I nervously asked my brother.

"It's hard to tell 'cause he taps really fast and it's been a long time since I practiced any Morris…" Jess replied.

"But you wrote something!" Lauri countered.

"Well, at first I thought he said, 'The Huns! The Huns!' but that's not it…"

"Well…?"

"Okay, near as I can tell it's, 'THE NUNS! THE NUNS!'"

"Jeez! Why would the nunny-bunnies scare HIM?" I wondered aloud.

"I don't know, but I think I'll have to get the whole story to find out." Jess announced determinedly.

So we fetched a couple of Coronas from the fridge to help dad loosen up enough to talk… er, tap-and Jess got to work writing down page after page of everything he had to say. It took lotsa hours of tapping and scribbling. Lauri an' me fell asleep cuddled together in an armchair while daddy poured his heart out through his twisted burnt-up fingernail.

It must of been close to noon when I felt Lauri stretch her naked body beside me-reaching her arms high up over her head. I was tempted to suck her little button-nipples like we usually do, when I remembered: Daddy's home!

My eyes shot open and there was Jess writing away. When I slipped off the couch so as not to wake Lauri and walked over to the box with daddy inside, I could see his eyes were closed, his head lolled over to the side. "He's not…" I whispered fearfully.

"Nah, he's okay. Just sleeping, Puss… Dad's had a busy day. By the way, help me carry him upstairs to bed will ya? I figure he better stay in your room, at least 'til we know what Aunt Sarah wants to do."

So I helped Jess tilt the box where he could scoop dad out and carry him up to my bed. "He's just a shell of his former self." Jess commented as we reached the top of the stairs. Jess lay him down on my bedspread, then took a pillowcase from one of my pillows. He peeled off the burlap bag, and I helped him slide daddy into my clean white starched pillowcase and tied the corners over his shoulders. "There! That's better!" Jess and I agreed. He then propped daddy against my other pillow while I gathered all my teddy bears and stuffed animals around him. We covered his stubby trunk with my bedspread and tip-toed out of my room. "Guess you can sleep here for awhile, or maybe with me if Aunt Sarah doesn't catch on." My brother told me.

"I can take care of daddy until he falls asleep, and THEN come over to your bed to take care of YOU!" I offered.

"Yeah, that'd work." Jess agreed.

As we walked down the stairs, we could see nothing of Lauri except her bare bottom while she was bending way over, searching for something inside daddy's empty box. "He's GONE!" She exclaimed in agitation, just as we reached the bottom. "Your dad ESCAPED!"

"It's cool, Lauri! We put him in my bed!" I told her, calming her down. "He was so tired after all that traveling, he just fell asleep." I sorta realized then that Lauri was just as worried about our dad as we were, not having one she knew of all for herself.

"Oh…"

"C'mon Jess! Tell us what all that tapping was about! Besides, I think its time for some lunchtime sandwiches anyway!"

So while me and Lauri made us some peanut butter and strawberry jam sandwiches, Jess sat at the kitchen table, arranging his handful of notes. After we were all seated, we girls begged him to tell us the story.

"Well, it's kinda complicated…" Jessie began, "But it seems like both dad AND mom worked for the CIA."

"You mean, they were SPIES? Like James Bond?" I gasped.

"Rad!" nodded Lauri, caught up in the mystery of it all.

"Yep, that's what he said! They were on this secret mission spying on some terrorist training camp way up on a mountain top over in the Pyrenees… That's like where the Gypsies live, in the mountains between France and Portugal." He explained. Course, me and Lauri hadn't a clue where THAT was, but having Gypsies there added some flavor to the story…

"…And they were parked on the side of the road on the next mountain over, checking the camp out with binoculars and stuff, when all of a sudden, this car drives up behind them! Well, dad figured it'd look all innocent-like if mom was giving him a blowjob, so that's what she started to do. But these guys didn't give a rat's ass about watching mom go down on dad. They just rammed their car into our mom and dad's bumper real hard! …and pushed their whole car with them in it, right over the cliff!"

"Gee!" Lauri whispered. "They were really mean!"

"Yeah they were, that's fer DAMN sure!" Jess paused to take a big bite out of his sandwich.

"So what happened NEXT?" I wanted to know.

"Well," Jess mumbled, struggling to swallow a glob of sticky peanut butter, "…their car fell down the cliff! That's all dad remembers! But what I can gather from that other letter that arrived from the Convent of Innocent Girls or whateva… These kids lived in a place hidden deep in the side of the mountain. A kind-of-a church place, where they send little girls the parents don't want so they learn how to become nuns. And when they heard dad's car go crashing down past them, they all went out looking for what happened. There musta been a fire, cause dad'd been burnt up pretty bad… so these girls went there were the fire was and maybe found him hanging in a tree or something, all busted up, and carried him back to the caves where they live. THEN they patched him up, found his cock later on still preserved good-as-new in mom's throat, stuck THAT back on, but nothing happened… He never woke up for another six whole years!"

"Wow!" said Lauri. That's almost as old as ME!"

"This next part is where dad starts remembering again…" Jess continued, but stopped again to take another bite. I KNEW he was drawing it out, 'cause he actually LIKED torturing Lauri an' me, making us hang on to his every word! I reached up his shorts and grabbed his cock… THAT always worked to make him forget about food!

"YAH!" Yelps Jess, spraying peanut butter spit all over my face. "Do you WANT to hear the rest of the story or NOT?" He demands with a shit-eating grin, his cock stiffening instantly in my hand.

"That depends!" I smirk. "Are you gonna finish the story about daddy all the way to the end, or do Lauri an' me gotta give you a blowjob, just to clear out yer stuck-up brains!"

"Ah, ha-ha-ha-ha!" Laughed Lauri. "That's a good one Amy! …We gotta blow out his brains! HA-HA-HA!"

"Okay, okay!" Jess relented, but he didn't brush my hand away, so I kept fingering the soft hot underside of his knob… "First the story, an' after that, we'll all screw!"

"DEAL!" Yelps Lauri, hoping the tale won't take TOO much longer to tell.

"So for years, nothing happened. For dad, it was like being in a deep sleep! Then one day one of his little girl nurses was giving him a sponge bath…"

"What's that?" Lauri interrupted. "What's a 'sponge bath'?"

"Well, like, when you're unconscious and all, you still need to go poop and pee, but you can't wake up to go to the bathroom to do it-you're stuck in your bed! The nurses had to take care of all that, and these girls were all your ages… They're all just nun trainees 'cause that's all they got in this Convent place. So what they did to make it easier was they clamped dad's dick to a garden hose to drain off his pee, and put they him in a burlap bag so after he pooped for a couple of days, all they had to do was pull off the bag when it smelled, and throw it over a cliff down the side of the mountain! But they still have to wash off the old poop and sweat so he wouldn't rot! To do that they used a sponge soaked in warm water and that's what they used to wipe his body… what's left of it… off with. Dad's shaped basically like a football now, so it was pretty easy to roll him over for washing both sides. See?"

"Euuuu!" Lauri grimaced.

"Yeah, well, anyway… Dad remembers dreaming of mom's wonderful blowjob and he knows he's gotta cum, so he does! But instead of closing his eyes when he came like he used to, since his eyes were ALREADY closed, they pop right open! And there, right in front of him, is this beautiful little six-year old girl dressed all in black robes with a white collar and a funny winged hat on her head! Not only THAT, she was dripping wet with dad's steamy jism streaked all over her head and oozing out from her wide open shocked-looking mouth!"

"'Mon DIEU!' she screeches, and runs out of that room lickety-split!"

"So now dad's totally confused! He tries to jump up, but the only thing he can do is wiggle is his head! He tried reaching out for the bedrail, but there was nothing there to reach with! Then he tries waving for help, but the thing that's waving in front of his face is this wilted pink lobster claw, with only a curly-q bent fingernail sticking out from the blob of meat on its end! Man! He musta freaked out!"

"Poor daddy!" I hiccupped a sob in sympathy.

"Not more than a few minutes go by when his door bursts open and all these girls dressed the same way as the other one come streaming into dad's room! They're all chattering like birds, pointing to dad's pipe-hard cock and watching his eyes flutter in his desperate attempt to communicate. Dad tried talking to them, but he couldn't understand a thing they were saying, and the only sound coming from his mouth were indecipherable grunts and groans! He really felt embarrassed being like that too-his cock reared up and dripping fresh cum, right where all those little girls could see it!"

"Ha!" Lauri barked a laugh, "YOU wouldn'a minded if that'd been YOU!"

"Nah! Probably NOT!" Jess grinned at our little red-headed friend before he continued. Course, I encouraged him along by keeping his thick rigid cock all nice and hard, its throbbing hot head poked way out from the leg of his shorts. "Well, what happened after that was a pervert's happiest dream come true, but for dad, it was like 'Groundhog Day'-a never-ending nightmare in black and white! Every day for months after he woke from his coma, a succession of these nuns would come pouring into his room to pay him a visit. He said there were so many of them… and they all looked pretty much alike… except they were all LITTLE girls, usually under twelve… and some were blond-headed, others were brunettes, some had red hair, and some were even young black girls too!

"They'd start off real shy, acting like they were there to sponge-bathe him at first… but then they'd spit, lick, and polish-up that knobby cockhead of his for him, and before very long, they'd climb right up on his bed with him lying helplessly beneath them, and before he'd know it, up would come their heavy black robes and they'd squat right down over his flagpole up-standing boner, fitting the upside-down knot of it right up in their drippy-wet little slots! Then they'd begin humping away all over dad until they made him gush out his cum! Sometimes it'd only be one of them, mostly it was two, or even three at the same time, and they'd ALL take turns on him… until he'd cum and cum, and they'd make him cum some more AGAIN! They kept right at it even after he was totally drained, even after poor dad hadn't a drop more of his sweet cum left in those big balls of his to squirt up their thirsty pussies! As soon as those little girls climbed off and straightened out their robes, here'd come another bunch!-and this went on all day long and on even into the night! They must not have believed he was all there behind his half-paralyzed face… Maybe they took him for being brain-dead! All they REALLY thought he was any good for, was being their God-given, ever-hard, halfa-He-man-fuck-toy!"

"Lucky cunts!" I said feeling more than a little jealous, just before I ducked under the table to catch my brother's thick jetting load before he spurted it all underneath our kitchen table!

"Keep GOING!" Lauri encouraged him, before joining me between Jess's open legs. She wanted my cum-kiss after Jess dumped me a mouthful!

"AGGGH! Amy! You SPERM-SLUT!" Jess roared, just as we heard the front door fly open and Aunt Sarah's screechy call, "Hello! I'm HOME!"

Dammit again! Where had all the time flown away to?

Man, I BARELY had time to lather half of Jess's steamy mouthful of bubbly hot jism on Lauri's stuck-out waiting tongue and help her climb out from under the table, both of us licking our lips like kittens caught nursing a cream bottle, all while Jess struggled to stuff his aching stiffy back up his shorts! And that's just when Aunt Sarah burst into the kitchen! First words outta her mouth were, "AAAMIE! WHAT are you and your friend doing OUT of your CLOTHES like THAT, young lady?!"

Ever just eat a glob of thick, slippery-hot tapioca pudding when someone asks you a REALLY dumb question? Well, THEN you'll know what I FELT like! Here I was having a hard enough time swallowing all that yummy gooey stuff down my clogged-up gullet-Lauri TOO! And here's my Aunt Sarah expecting an ANSWER? I mean like, 'Houston to Space Shuttle Aunty… HELL-O!'

Thank God for big brothers! Jess came right out all casual-like and says to her, "It's okay Aunty! The girls were getting dressed upstairs after their shower when they heard me coughing on my blueberries…" (I hadda step right on Lauri's bare toe to keep her from breaking out in barks of laughter when he said, 'blueberries'!)

"They both rushed down and thumped HARD on my back, otherwise I woulda choked and DIED fer SURE! No kidding! Good thing they acted so fast! Thanks guys!" (And he smiles all sweetly over at us-seeing us looking real stupid-like with our mouths hanged wide open… That Jess is SUCH a BULLSHITTER! And he gets AWAY with it TOO!)

But then leave it to me to mess things back up! "Can't we just STAY this way? It's more comfortable!" I whined.

"AMY! You're ten years old now, and your friend Lauri is practically nine! You girls will have to cover your boobies pretty soon!"

"Well, how about if we do that, and just leave off the bottoms?" I stupidly ask her. "I mean, its okay… Jess doesn't mind!"

"Certainly NOT!" Our aunt huffed. "I'm going right upstairs and get you two some decent clothes to wear! You'll NOT go around this house like naked little heathen savages!"

"What's a hee-than?" Lauri asked after our aunt stormed out of the room.

"That means you don't believe in God!" Jess snickered.

"We do TOO!" I sniffed indignantly, "AND Santa an' faeries, and Wonder Woman too!"

"Me too!" Says Lauri, "AND the Easter Bunny, AND ET, AND the Great Pumpkin, AND…"

"Never mind all THAT!" I interrupt her, "Tell us the rest before Aunt Sarah gets back!"

"Okay… So anyways, dad tapped me that after MONTHS going on like this, practically a prisoner of the little nuns and unable to call for any help, well, he started to notice some of those kids were getting heavier and growing real FAT! Seems like those country girls over there were as fertile as cow-manure, and his seed started sprouting in more than a few little gardens!"

"Whoa!" I marveled. "You mean like, PREGNANT?"

"Yep, that's right! We must have at LEAST a few dozen brothers and sisters by now, growing up somewheres… way up in those mountains!"

"Whoa!" Lauri echoed, "COOL!"

"But by THEN the head old-lady nun musta found out what was happening because…"

"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" We hear! Followed by thumps and bumps and Aunt Sarah crashing down the stairs and charging into the kitchen again. "AMMMIE!!! There's a talking HEAD in your BED!" She screeched!

Oh SHIT! We forgot about daddy!

"Oops!" Says Jess, but then he jumped straight up to comfort the shaking old lady… "Auntie!" He tells her, "It's OK! It's our DAD! Dad's ALIVE! They sent him HOME and that's HIM in Amy's bed!"

"What's LEFT of him!..." Lauri added, but Aunt Sarah just didn't get it yet, so we had to sit her down on the living room sofa and go get her a nice cool iced tea. She didn't EVEN pay us no mind for still being NAKED neither!

"So what're we gonna do NOW?" I asked Jess.

"One thing's fer sure," He told me. "Just don't mention that letter we got from the nun school!"

Jess was right of course. Auntie Sarah already thinks those cat-licks are all perverts and Pop and Mary-worshiping heathens anyways… Can't have her thinking daddy already hooked up with THEM, AND we got new brothers and sisters because of it!

Things settled down a bit around here since yesterday. Auntie Sarah is still kinda out of it though. Jess says maybe her mind cracked, but I don't SEE nothing broken, she just looks off into space with a goofy look on her face a lot and she hums church songs to herself most all the time. She doesn't even NOTICE when I'm naked either! I tried it out to see what she'd say. Like, before going out to play with Lauri today, I made SURE Auntie could look right up UNDER my skimpy little dress between my legs and not see any panties on me. She didn't say a THING! Super-COOL!

But when I asked her if I could go out and play, she said, "Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers! IF Peter Piper picked a PECK of pickled peppers, how MANY pickled peppers did Peter Piper pick?"

"Huh???"

"How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck COULD chuck wood?"

"Okaaaaaay…"

"Who dat say whodat when I say who-dat?"

I think our Aunt Sarah has gotten a leeetle cookoo!

And last night I got to take care of daddy all by myself as much as I wanted to, 'cause Aunty went to bed real early! Jess told me to go real slow with him, since daddy had such a frightening time with the nuns an' all… so I gotta make SURE I don't wear any black skirts mixed with white blouses, which I NEVER do anyways… and Jess said it'd help if I just let daddy do what he wants to do until he "works out" his "tra-matic experience," whatever that means!

So I went to daddy in my bed. He was still there of course. He doesn't go anywheres at all… which is really GREAT since he's been gone for so long, y'know? And I just talked to him the whole time while I went in the bathroom and tinkled and ran the water for a hot bath. I'll have to ask Jessie if I can take daddy into the bathtub with me next time-that'd be LOTS more fun for real!

When I got out and dried off with my towel, I was finishing up telling daddy about all the things I could think of that's happened to me an' Jess since he's been gone… I could tell daddy was listening to my every word too! His eyes followed me everywhere, and I just KNOW he wanted to say SOMETHING, only all he could do was dribble spit down his chin.

But I let daddy decide which nightie I'd wear to bed! I tried on my cute little blue one for him-the one with the see-through silky material that ties behind my neck… No panties, natch, but it just covers my butt so it's not TOO naughty! Anyways, daddy's cock poked right up under my covers, but it's like that ALL the time anyway, so I couldn't tell how MUCH he liked it, since his eyes stayed glued on me but he didn't move his claw… er, HAND!

I decided it'd be better if I pulled down the covers so I could SEE when daddy REALLY liked what I was wearing. I thought about it, but decided against the black one-too many bad memories for daddy maybe with THAT color! So next I tried on the sexy red one Susi made especially for me. It's got this little thong thingee that fits up between my buttcheeks and splits around the sides of my puss-pushing my clitty right out in front! The top part ties around my nipples and makes them pop right out too! Daddy LIKED it! His cock jumped big-time when I came out of my closet, and he even told me to come join him in bed by waving his claw!

I snuggled right up next to him as close as I could get, laying my head across his only arm he has left. It was kinda funny being longer in bed lying next to him an' all. I mean, I'm USED to being shorter than all the guys I've been lying down with, y'know? Anyways, I wanted to kiss him and hug him and show him how much I missed him, all those years he's been gone! Daddy started crying … I know he missed me a lot too!

So I started kissing daddy's tears away when all of a sudden, "Opps-sie!" I felt that sneaky claw of his poke right up my butt! I wriggled my ass around so he could push as much of it up there as he wanted, and I figured since daddy was doing THAT he wouldn't mind if I played with his purple-headed upside-down pipe-hard cock! So I'm trying to pump that up and down as fast as I could, but I had to do that kinda backwards, since it's "inverted" now like Jess says, and that's when I felt the STRANGEST feeling! Daddy's claw started tapping INSIDE my butt!

I could tell by all his claw-tapping daddy was trying to talk to me inside my butt! But I couldn't tell what he was trying to TELL me 'cause I don't know none of those Morris's code words or nothin'… So I just let him tap… TAP… tappedy-TAP away while I sucked in as much of that back-bent cock of his, deep in my mouth! Daddy's eyes went from teary to rolling around in his head so I figured he liked THAT well enough!

Man! That crab arm of daddy's was real talented too! Before very long he was like shoving and poking that thing WAY up inside me-all the way up to his knobby elbow! Daddy had me squirming and bucking and twisting around on that thing… And it felt really GOOD too! MUCH better than any of those big ol' fat dildo things that hum and jump up and down on batteries which we got from Lauri's mom!

So pretty soon I'm cumming like a hoe… just SQUIRTING out my pussy juice all OVER daddy's crusty claw! When that started happening, I REALLY wanted to make daddy feel just as good as me, so I bent my head far backwards like I was doing a headstand on his lap, and I just SHOVED that back-bent warty cock of his all the way DOWN my gulping throat! I think the top of my head kinda smushed poor daddy's cum-stuffed nutsack, cause when I did that-it was like popping a HUGE zit! Ka-blooie! Streaks of greasy sperm shot from daddy's fat cock in a FLOOD that GUSHED down my throat in mighty spurts-filling my tummy as tight as a water-balloon until it felt like my belly button would pop inside-out!

I came up coughing and gagging and I hardly EVER do that! "OH! Daddy! You really DID miss me, didn't you?!" I cried with tears of joy (mixed with some that came out just because I couldn't help it-I didn't have enough air to breathe!) I wriggled my ass on daddy's crab arm so I could give his big football-looking chest a HUGE hug!

Daddy was crying too… but that funny scarred arm that he taps to talks with didn't slow down in my rear end for even a minute to take any rest! That claw-tipped gnarly appendage of his took to jerking around inside my body like The Terminator's skeleton arm gone crazy! …Popping itself in and out of my sore little butthole like daddy was trying tell me something REAL bad! "What IS it daddy? …What are you… trying to… (Uhhh!) TELL me?" I grunted… hardly able to SPEAK during all his frantic claw-thrusting between my rosy pink cheeks.

"Daddy, are you… STILL horny? (Oooooo!) …Is THAT it? (Umph!) …Do you… (Ugggh!) …want me to… (UMMMM!) milk your poor COCK?"

I figured that HAD to be it! Daddy just HAD to fuck me for real! Maybe he missed poor mommy… (Jess says I look a lot like her!) Or maybe he missed ME so very, very MUCH, his sleeping cock had been dreaming of ME all that time he'd been fast asleep in a coma! Now that he woke up, and he sees that I'm all grown UP to be a big girl now… Well, he just couldn't HELP it, poor thing!

Daddy's man-meat is probably even thicker and longer than my brother Jessie's, (course its hard to tell since its so curvy now like a banana, after being sewed back on the wrong way an' all…) anyway, shoving him deep up inside me was like pushing a wide-load trailer up through a narrow dark alley, if you catch my drift!

But once I got it up in there-with practically NO help at ALL from poor Daddy, since his twisted knot of a claw was busy drilling my backside the WHOLE blessed time, trying to stretch my tortured tiny asshole wide enough to steal a basketball if I sat down on one! …And I had to do it backwards as well-sorta like bending over him doggie-style, straddling his thick barreled chest… Anyways, I FINALLY got daddy's wonderful cock all up inside my itchy cunt where it TOTALLY belongs… and I started by rocking my hips and swaying to the beat of a cool song in my head. Daddy musta liked that music too, cause I felt his claw rubbing the tip of his cockhead way up inside me!

"OH! Daddy! I missed you SO MUCH!" I chanted, as I bounced and rocked my butt over his legless groin and crab-clawed arm, "PLEEEEZE fuck me daddy! FUCK your little girl as HARD as you CAN!"

I KNOW daddy heard me! Cause right about then… he started to SPEAK! "AGGG-MEEE!" He grunted. "AAAA-ME!" He tried again!

"Oh, YES! Daddy! I HEAR you!" I encouraged, humping faster and faster over daddy's twin probing poles of slippery hot meat, thrusting themselves deeper and deeper up my arched and straining body. "FUCK me daddy!" I shouted, "FUCKME-FUCKME-FUCKME!!!"

And daddy DID! It was like something inside of him kicked into overdrive! All of a sudden he bounced and bucked his thick ball-like body beneath me, straining for all he was worth to jam as much of his meat up inside me as he POSSIBLY could! And then it happened! That most terrible and wonderful moment of my whole LIFE! Daddy like practically EXPLODED! I felt his cum burst from his pee-hole in WAVES of hot pulsing creamy thickness… his body trembled, then began to convulse in mighty spasms just as my climax matched his own! Daddy screamed at the top of his lungs! "OH MY GOD!!! AMY!!! HERE I CUM!!! I'M CUMMING INSIDE YOU!!!"

Daddy's head rolled back just as Jessie burst through the door! As my daddy's thick gushing jets of sperm spout and pumped deep into my womb, Jessie tried to help, but it was already too late by then! I was totally out of it as well… I collapsed in a sweaty heap over daddy's dying spasms.

We buried daddy out in the garden where we buried our car-smushed cat, Snowball, the summer before. Jess said it was better that way. Nobody but Lauri knew he'd come back to us, so nobody had to know he was gone now forever. Lauri and me cried a lot of course, but Jess made me feel much better after he told me that daddy had the most beautiful smile on his face when his neck snapped backwards while making love to me.

By now, several months have gone by and daddy remains a warm memory in my heart. There's only one other thing… There's something else warm growing next to my heart in my tummy as well! It's like daddy said with his very last words, that he's "coming inside me"… Does that mean he's REALLY coming back to us in another life?

I asked Jess if this means if he'll be the brother to a brother or another baby girl like me even if it's mine, but he says he just MIGHT be her daddy TOO! (Hummm… I really didn't KNOW my baby's daddy could be MY daddy AND my big brother's (uh… or is it big BROTHERS'?) at the same time-I'm confused!) I guess it really doesn't matter as long as we live happy ever-after from loving each other forever and ever and ever and EVER!

The End!

(Continued in the Epilogue)

Note: These stories are derived from my preteen sister's online diary-submitted by Kamkat. Comments to: catsNO-SPAMclaw@hush.ai. (Remove NO-SPAM).