Perverts 'R' Us

Confessional

By Martin ( M/f, nc, short )

If any Catholics are offended - sorry but the author is a Congregationalist.

"Father, forgive me, for I have sinned. It's been a week since my last confession."

"What sins have you committed, my son?"

"Well Father, I have lusted after women, I have taken cocaine, I have masturbated over pornographic pictures of both men and women and I raped that little girl - Phillipa-Jane - who was attacked in the park on Thursday."

"Hmm. She was 7 years old, so they say."

"Yes, Father."

"Tell me my son, was the little slut tight?"

"Christ - forgive me Father - you bet she was. Nearly stripped the skin off my prick getting it up her!"

"Did you use all three of her fuck-holes, my son?"

"Of course, Father. First her cunt, then her arse, and finally made her clean my shitty and bloody cock with her face-cunt."

"MMM. Did you only use her sexually, my son?"

"No Father. I beat crap out of the little whore too. She was dressed in her Brownies' uniform and I could not help myself. I felt fuelled by sexual hate!"

"So she provoked you by dressing in a sexy uniform, did she?"

"Yes, Father."

"And it displayed her filthy sluttish body to you to arouse your cock, I assume?"

"Oh yes, Father. She was a dirty little tramp."

"They all are my son. The papers reported that the child suffered serious mental trauma. What else did you do?"

"I told her that her Mother did not love her anymore, which is why she had sent me to punish her."

"Yes. The papers said when her Mother tried to comfort her at the hospital the child turned away screaming and threw up."

"Yes, Father. That nearly made me piss myself - sorry Father - laughing."

"Tell me my son, are you masturbating as you are making your confession to me?"

"Yes, Father. Talking about the little slag with another man is so hot!"

"I know. I am masturbating too, my son. Did you retain her panties?"

"Yes Father. Would you care to use them?"

"Please."

The penitent sinner passed the little slut's soiled and heavily cum-stained, white cotton panties to the Priest, who was now breathing hard.

"My son, it is clear the little whore was a prick-teasing slut, out to seduce innocent men like yourself. As a result, you penance is to kneel before the altar and jerk yourself off while looking at her picture - you did take pictures, I suppose?"

"Oh yes, Father."

"They please let me have copies. As for the other "sins", the drugs, masturbation etc. you are absolved. Go in peace, my son."

"Thank you, Father."

And with that, Bishop James got up and left the confessional. Father Paul followed shortly afterwards with the panties pressed to his face. The old ladies in the pews thought he was suffering from hay fever again.