Perverts 'R' Us

How Do You Say Goodbye?

By Danyealle ( M/F, plot, nosex )

Rolling over, he put his arm around her and pulled her close to him, burying his face in his hair and stroking up and down her back gently. Suddenly though, he stopped cold, there was something not right with her. Usually she woke up just a bit and muttered something, no matter how doped up she was. This time, though, nothing.

Pulling away, he looked down at her peaceful face. She looked like she was asleep, but his sense told him it wasn't a 'right' sleep. Looking closer, he saw that she was breathing, but barely. For the first time in months, her face wasn't lined with the pain she was so suffering from. OK, he thought, maybe she is just really sleeping deeply if the pain has lessened.

Shaking her softly he called, "Dani?"

She didn't move, twitch or seem to hear him.

"Toy!" He said louder, shaking her a bit harder. Still nothing. "Danyealle!" he yelled, shaking her almost violently. Still she didn't wake up, didn't even flinch in the least. Peering at her closer, he noticed she was barely breathing. Putting two fingers on her carotid artery, he did feel a pulse, but it was barely there, more like the flutter of butterfly wings than a normal, throbbing pulse.

Picking her up by the shoulders, he shook her, roaring her name. Her head lolled, but her eyes stayed closed. Arkady must have heard him shout, because he came in. Darious gave him a helpless look, "I can't get her to wake up!"

Taking her, gently, into his arms, he cradled her to him and looked her over. Then he looked back at Darious, tears in his eyes, "She is gone, Darious." he said, softly, voice trembling.

Glaring at him, Darious said in short, clipped, hard tones, "What the hell are you talking about? Gone? She isn't gone! She is just asleep. She's still breathing and her heart is beating. She can't be gone if that is still going on!"

Shaking his head, tears spilling down over his cheeks, Arkady said softly, "No Darious, she's not dead. She has gone to sleep or what is termed, "gone to ground". She will in all probability never again awaken."

"No! I REFUSE to accept that! She would not leave me willingly!" Darious screamed, his heart hammering so hard in his chest that it felt like it would explode. She cannot have left him, she wouldn't. She said she loved him, if she did she would never leave him. He could not accept that it was even a possibility.

Cradling her close to his chest, Arkady said softly, voice choked and uneven, "Darious, I doubt M'lady had much of a choice in the matter. I think that mayhap it was something she fought as long as she could, that is why she was in so much pain. But what was inevitable has finally come about."

Sniffing loudly, tears streaming, he groped for the right words for Darious, to somehow make him understand what he himself couldn't or didn't want to accept. "This, by no means, is an expression of what she feels for you. I think, perhaps…" Breaking down completely, he couldn't continue.

A voice from the doorway continued it for him, full of emotion as well, "She stayed as long as she could Master, no matter the pain or everything else she was suffering with, and she stayed because of what she felt for you."

Marcus stepped close to the bed and looked down at her sleeping, peaceful face, tears sparkling in his eyes as well. Putting a hand on Darious' shoulder he said, softly, "She does love you, Master. But she could no longer fight off nature. She stayed as long as she was able, despite the torture it caused her. She stayed because she loved you. Now, she is finally free from that, for that you should be glad."

Darious glared at him, eyes starting to glow, "How the fuck would you know about any of that? You hated her and didn't care what she felt! She sure as hell wouldn't have confided anything to the likes of you!" A red rage was building in him, something he was unable to stop. It was an almost natural reaction to the foreign feelings he was getting at the thought that she was no longer there and there was nothing he could do to bring her back. It felt like someone had kicked him square in the nuts and ripped part of him out. He didn't know what to feel, all he knew was rage.

Shaking his head, Marcus said, softly, "That's not true, Master. How could someone be indifferent to the amount of suffering she was going through? From hearing everyone talk about what she used to be like, I realized that the person I knew wasn't her, that what I was seeing was someone in almost unimaginable pain. No, she didn't confide anything in me, but all I had to do was see the look on her face when she looked at you. Anyone that wasn't blind could tell how much she loved you. And you would have to be even more blind to see that you feel just as strongly for her."

Picking up Claude off her pillow, Arkady put him in her arms one last time and kissed her forehead lightly. With a thick voice, he said softly, "M'lady I did, do, and always will, love you, no matter what. May you finally have the peace you so richly deserve."

Standing up, he put her back in Darious' arms and wiped away his tears. With a thick and hitched voice he said, "I am going to call Lady Julia. She has to come and make the final pronouncement." Then walked out of the room, sobbing.

Looking down into her peaceful face, Darious realized that both Marcus and Arkady were right, she was gone. There was probably nothing she could have done to stop it. Also, that for the first time in so long her pain was finally over. Finally his Toy, his Dani, his Danyealle had her peace. He could feel tears prickle his eyes and burn. But he could also, for the first time in his existence, understand what humans felt when they said their heart was breaking, because his was. What was the first and only being he ever felt anything for was gone, and there was nothing whatsoever that he could do about it. There was no power strong enough to bring her back to him. She was gone, forever. His Toy was gone. Throwing his head back, he bellowed so loudly the walls shook. A sound of pain he was sure both heaven and hell could hear.

He could then hear a soft, feminine voice calling his name and felt something hit his bicep. With a huge jerk his eyes flew open and he could hear Dani saying his name. Looking down, she was cradled tightly in his arms, awake, staring up at him. It was a dream! Nothing but a very bad, very real dream! Clutching her tightly to his chest, he buried his face in her hair and started to sob softly. There were no real tears, but it was crying nonetheless, and there was no power in the world strong enough to stop him. Stroking her back softly, feeling those odd bumps, he rocked back and forth, holding her to him, relieved that it was nothing more than a bad, bad nightmare, not real.

Confused, she looked up at him, "Are you OK, Darious?"

All he could do was nod, his throat constricted with too much emotion to say anything.

Putting an arm around his neck, she rested her head on his shoulder, starting to once again doze off.

Once he calmed down slightly, his heart no longer feeling like it was going to burst, he looked down at her, "You feeling OK, Toy?"

Nodding, she mumbled, "I'm fine, just tired. What's wrong, Darious?" she said, opening one bleary eye and looking at him.

Shaking his head, "Nothing, just a bad dream is all. Nothing to worry about. You go back to sleep, Toy."

"S'ok." she mumbled, starting to drop back off, clutching Claude to her chest, arm still draped over his shoulder.

He held her for a long time, unable or unwilling to put her down. It was as if he thought it would all return to him if he let her go. After a bit he heard a soft noise in the doorway and looked up. Arkady was standing there, watching quietly. Clearing his throat he said in a voice still unsteady, "Everything OK, Wolfie?"

Stepping into the room, Arkady made his way to the bed, sitting down by Darious, reaching out to softly rub Dani's back. He then looked up at Darious, "I was about to ask you the same thing, Sire. Marcus and I both heard you scream. Is everything alright?"

Nodding, Darious let out a ragged breath, "Yes, everything is fine. I just had a very bad, very realistic dream is all - nothing whatsoever to worry about."

Nodding, Arkady looked at Dani, quiet, and then said softly, "We all feel how you do, Sire. We are all scared that one day she is not going to wake up and will be lost to us. You aren't alone in that. Myself, all the Ladies, the werewolves that knew her, and even Marcus are scared."

"How did you know that was the dream, Wolfie?" Darious asked, softly, looking at him, startled.

Giving a small smile, Arkady looked at him. "It is no great trick, Sire, you were yelling in your sleep. It wasn't hard to make out the words."

Darious grinned, sheepishly, "Sorry about that." He then looked at Arkady sharply, "Marcus? I didn't think he liked Dani much. Why him as well?"

Sighing, Arkady said, "Marcus has finally realized, after hearing so many of us talk of her, that M'lady is not herself and is taking into account that she is sick, and sick people are often hostile. But it is hard for even the most cold-hearted of people to see someone suffering so much and not feel for them. Marcus is not that cold hearted." Smiling up at Darious he said, "Why don't you go and take a nice soothing shower, Sire, that should wash away the last of the dream and make you feel better. I will stay here with M'lady until you return."

He was reluctant to leave her, even for just the few minutes it would take for him to grab a quick shower, but he put her in Arkady's waiting arms and kissed her forehead. "Thank you, Wolfie."

Smiling, Arkady said, "Sire, M'lady will not ever leave you willingly, she would fight it all the way and you know it."

"I know, Wolfie." Darious said, walking to the bathroom. As he reached the door he turned around and looked at Arkady, "Thank you." he said softly.

Smiling, Arkady said, "No need, Sire. Just take a long, hot shower and relax."

The shower did calm him and make him feel better. But as he lay next to her all night he couldn't help but remember the dream and how it felt. But more than that he realized it was a possibility now and didn't know what to do to make it all better.