Perverts 'R' Us

Cat Attack

By Danyealle ( M/F, plot, nosex )

Since she had awakened, Dani was not having one of her better days. She was in a great deal of extreme pain, and was suffering intensely. For some reason she couldn't fathom, her body wanted to be in feline form, so she shifted. But instead of being the smallish, clouded leopard, she was much larger, heavier, and more massive. Normally she was a stealthy 100lbs, a weight needed to circumnavigate tree branches, but today she was much bigger at 225 lbs, more than 100 lbs heavier than normal. And she was very out-of-sorts, growling and whining in pain. Whereas, normally her feline form was just an extension of her human form, maintaining her self control, today that wasn't the case. Today the cat was all beast - and an angry, suffering, and territorial one at that.

Hopping off the bed, she walked around rubbing against everything, marking her territory, then she headed down to the second floor. Marcus was coming out of the bathroom, wrapped in just a towel, drying his hair with another one. He started down the hallway towards his room. When he rounded the corner he saw her sitting there, tail swishing deliberately. He had seen her feline form several times, but it was never this big. She bared her much elongated fangs at him and then hissed, eyes narrowing. He was invading her territory and she was going to defend it. Standing up on all fours, she took a few steps towards him, growling, and the hair down her spine bristling up. He dropped the towel he was using on his hair and started to back up towards the stairs, keeping an eye on her and what she was doing. When she started loping after him, he took off down the stairs on a dead run, screaming at the top of his lungs for Arkady to help him, that she was once again after him.

Arkady was in the utility room, folding laundry, when he heard Marcus' screams of pure terror. He dropped everything and headed into the living room at top speed. He found Marcus running around the living room as fast as he could, arms stretched out in front of him, barefoot, clad only in a towel and screaming, "Help me! She's going to kill me!" With Dani hot on his tail, growling and snapping at his heels. He shook his head and grinned, then stepped into the room.

Out of the corner of his eye, Marcus saw Arkady and ran over then hid behind him, panting and shaking. Arkady chuckled, thinking how funny it was to see this 6'8" man who was built like a linebacker being chased around the room by a cat. Looking over his shoulder at the shaking Marcus, he said, "I'll handle her, no problem. Calm down and I will get M'lady calmed down."

Stepping closer, fangs bared and ears laid back, she hissed at both of them. Arkady reached out to scratch between her ears, something she adored, but drew his hand back quickly when she snapped at him and snarled. He quickly counted his fingers to see if she had taken any off, then looked back at Marcus, "The lady seems to be slightly irritable today. Mayhap I should get her outside and let her run out her extra energy until Lord Darious returns from town."

Staring at him, Marcus said, "Sounds good to me, but YOU'RE doing it, I don't have a death wish and like my limbs!"

Arkady went to fetch a leash, something he normally wouldn't have to use, but thought best for all parties involved, while Marcus watched her, plastered to the wall. She sat ten feet away watching him closely, growling softly. Arkady quickly returned, holding the leash out in front of him so she could see what it was. Talking in a soothing voice, he slowly advanced towards her, "Would you like to put it on so you can go outside in the yard and run until Lord Darious returns? No one will bother or disturb you out there, M'lady."

She watched him cautiously, cocking her head from side to side as he talked, her tail swishing briskly. When he got close enough, she ripped the leash out of his hands with one paw then proceeded to shred it into hundreds of tiny, grey pieces, scattering them everywhere.

Jumping back, Arkady plastered himself to the wall by Marcus. "It appears the kitty was unenthusiastic about the idea." Marcus said, chuckling a bit, eyes still glued to her and her every move.

Nodding, Arkady replied, "It would seem that way, wouldn't it?"

When she finished annihilating the offensive leash she looked at Arkady and growled, then took off after him. His eyes grew wider then he took for Darious' study as fast as his legs would carry him. Marcus peeled himself off the wall and ran for the kitchen at top speed.

Arkady was able to get inside and the door slammed shut just as she leapt toward him. He felt the impact of the hit through the solid wood, hearing her howl and snarl, her claws on the wood. This went on for a couple minutes then he heard her walk off, followed quickly by Marcus starting to once again run and scream. Sighing deeply, he knew it was time to call Darious for help. He was about the only one that could control her when she got like this. He had gone into the village to talk with Raven and Julia. With a shaking finger, he dialed Darious' cell phone. When it went through and before Darious could say anything at all he started to babble at top speed, "Sire, we urgently need you to come with some due speed. M'lady has gone quite berserk."

"What do you mean, 'gone berserk'? What has she done now?" Darious could hear Marcus' screams ebbing and flowing in the background.

Taking a deep breath, Arkady tried to calm himself so he could get across to Darious just how urgent the situation was. "She has gone quite mad, Sire. She is in her feline form, only much larger than normal. She has cornered me in the study and is in the other room chasing poor Marcus. I think she means to do the both of us an injury!"

Sighing, Darious shook his head. This was the latest saga in her increasingly bizarre behavior as of late. "OK Arkady, keep yourself and Marcus safe the best you can and hold down the fort. I'll be there as quick as I can."

Nodding, Arkady replied, "Please hurry, Sire, this is a rather emergent situation and will progress to a grave one quickly if you don't arrive soon."

Sighing deeply again, Darious said, "I'll be there as quick as I can." He hung up the phone then turned to Julia and Raven, "If you'll excuse me, I have to go. A crisis has arisen with Dani and I have to get to the house."

Arching an eyebrow, Raven asked, "A crisis? Would you like us to come with you?"

"No, it isn't anything that I can't handle." Darious nodded to both of the women then headed to the house, muttering about cats with PMS.

Quietly, Arkady opened the door and poked his head out, looking around. Dani was chasing Marcus around and around the living room. Stepping out quietly, on his next lap by the study Arkady grabbed Marcus' hand and made a break for the front door, with Dani hot on their heels, Arkady managed to get them outside and the door slammed shut before she caught up with them. They both sagged against the door, panting, as she went into more of a rage, howling and snarling, attacking the door.

Looking at Marcus, Arkady said, "It's my considered opinion that M'lady is having a breakdown of some sort or another."

Marcus stared at him like he was some form of weird alien life, "It is MY opinion that she should be declawed and put into a padded cage until they can get her on some powerful anti-psychotic medicine! She's beyond having a breakdown and has skipped into loony land! She's gone totally wacko! Th-th-that's all, folks!"

She attacked the door for a couple more minutes, and then backed off. Leaping onto the sofa she, in a matter of minutes, had ripped and chewed it apart down to the springs and wood. Somehow or other the chewing seemed to ease the pain in her seriously-hurting teeth. Then she leapt to the floor and ripped the carpet from the wood and left long gouges in it with her sharp claws. Then she hopped up onto the shelves and knocked them and their contents to the floor, shattering all the delicate knick-knacks.

Hopping back down onto the floor, she saw the curtains billow out, so she attacked them, tearing them down and ripping them apart. Leaping onto the nearest chair, she used it for a scratching post, tearing it apart. Then she spied the plant stands. Slithering over to them, she ate the green parts, knocking the pots to the floor, shattering them, sending dirt and mulch spraying everywhere. Walking around, she spied the open study door.

Tearing into the room, she hopped onto the long, heavily waxed conference table she slid down it, digging her claws in for purchase, leaving deep claw marks in the wood down the center of it. When she got to the end where Darious did his work, piles of records from Triple D neatly stacked in big piles. She went through the paperwork like a four-footed paper shredder, ripping it apart with her claws and teeth until the room looked like it was in the middle of a paper blizzard, pieces floating everywhere. She then leapt onto the leather sofa near the conference table and tore it apart with her claws and teeth.

When the study was sufficiently shamblized for her tastes, she tore off down the hallway to the kitchen, where she ripped all the pans and dishes out of the cupboards and the food out of the refrigerator before trying to chew the kitchen table apart, trying to ease the pain in her aching teeth and gums.

After the kitchen, she slunk into the fireplace room, where she clawed at the insulation and padding on the walls, then attacked the pillows, causing clouds of feathers to erupt in the room.

Walking out of the room she shook feathers out of her coat then bound up the stairs to the second floor. First, she wandered Arkady's room, where she shredded his clothes after pulling them out of the closet, and then she attacked the bed. She used the bed for a scratching post, then chewed on it until it was in small pieces all over the place. She scratched up the wooden bedposts before sashaying down the hall to Marcus' room.

After a sniff of the air and the recognition of who lived here, she tore into everything like a shark in a feeding frenzy, tearing everything into small pieces. When she walked out into the hallway she used the carpet to sharpen her claws before casually walking up to the third floor and into her and Darious' bedroom. After sniffing around a bit, a maniacal rage seemed to overtake her and she went through it like a tornado through a trailer park, ripping everything to pieces. She even ate the soap in the bathroom, knocked all their clothes off the hangers and ripped the mattress off the bed, chewing and digging a hole right in the center of it.

Her orgy of destruction done, she wandered down to the first floor and started chasing the feathers from the pillows around the mess in the living room, meowing, tail swishing happily.

Marcus and Arkady were sitting on the front porch, smoking, listening to the crashes and bangs coming from the house when Darious pulled up and parked the Bentley in the driveway. Quickly, Darious walked over to him, hearing the din coming from the house. Looking down at them, arms crossed over his chest, he said, "OK, what's going on this time?"

Quickly, both Arkady and Marcus filled him in, ending with Marcus saying, "You may be a demon, but she," he said, hooking his thumb at the house, "is Satan himself!"

Darious looked at both of them, shaking his head, thinking these two just didn't know how to handle the cat was all. Walking over to the door, he knelt down in front of the mail slot and opened it, thinking he would peer in and see what was going on when both of her paws shot out, claws extended, hissing loudly. He was so startled that he fell over and landed on his ass. She withdrew her paws and peered out at him, eyes flashing, growling long and low.

Chuckling a bit, Marcus said, "I'm telling you, she's totally gone off the deep end."

Darious stood up and brushed himself off, glaring at Marcus. Then he walked over to the front window and saw the disaster that was once the living room. Then suddenly, as if by magic, Dani was hanging upside down in front of him. Somehow or other she was hanging by her back paws from the curtain rod, her face pressed tightly to the glass like one of those Garfield cats that suction-cup to the car windows, her long, bushy tail swishing back and forth, meowing.

Staring hard at her, he tried not to laugh. Then shook his finger at her, trying to convey that he was getting very upset with her and what she had done, but he was also trying to suppress laughter.

She totally missed the warning he was trying to convey, thinking it was a playful gesture and started batting at his finger with her paws. But doing that caused extra strain on the already strained-to-the-limit curtain rod and it buckled, causing it and her to fall to the ground with a loud thump. Snarling and thrashing about, she righted herself then picked up the curtain rod and shook it vigorously before trotting off with it, accidentally putting the end of it through the screen of their 100 inch TV, causing the picture tube to implode, scaring her. She headed to the fireplace room at top speed. But the curtain rod she was carrying in her mouth was far too long to go through the doorway horizontally, so the ends of it caught on the doorjambs, flipping her over the bar like a gymnast, landing her on her back. It startled her, but pissed her off more and she attacked it, ripping it to shreds, snarling and growling.

Watching her though the window, Darious shook his head. Then he turned his back and rested against the side of the house, thinking. Marcus and Arkady peered through the window, watching her murdelize the curtain rod. Arkady scratched his head thoughtfully then looked at Darious, "M'lady appears to need something to calm her down before she does herself a serious injury."

Darious looked over at him then nodded, pulling out his cell phone. Quickly he dialed Julia's number. When she answered he said, "I need you here ASAP. Bring a tranquilizer gun, some heavy duty kitty-Prozac and a steel reenforced butterfly net."

Chuckling loudly, she asked, "You want what, Darious?"

He growled softly, "Just get here quickly." Then he hung up the phone and turned back to the window, watching her throw pillows out of the fireplace room, feathers flying everywhere. He felt she was sufficiently distracted so he quietly opened the front door and stepped inside. She wasn't paying attention to him, too busy shaking the pillows, feathers billowing out of them and scattering everywhere.

Cautiously, Marcus and Arkady entered, sticking close to Darious. When Darious looked into his study and saw it looked like a blizzard had gone though it, shreds of paper were at least an inch thick on the floor. He bent down and picked up a couple of the bigger-sized chunks and saw they were his business records. Growling long and down, looking at her, eyes flashing, a large black cloud of fury started to form over his head. Without even looking at it, he punched the study wall, putting a fist-sized hole in it. Arkady and Marcus, already jumpy, almost shot out of their skins at the crack. She looked up, startled. When she saw them standing there and could feel his rising anger, she dropped the pillow she was shaking and backed up slowly towards the stairs. When she saw they were still advancing towards her she turned tail and ran upstairs at top speed, disappearing into Marcus' room.

Cautiously, they all started up the stairs with Darious in the lead when she bounded out of the room wearing one of Marcus' loincloths on her head and carrying a chunk of his mattress in her mouth. She shook it vigorously, sending pieces of foam everywhere. Then she dropped it and pawed the loincloth off her head, starting to chew it apart. She heard the creak on the stairs and looked at them, backing up towards the other staircase slowly, reowing softly, her bushy tail swishing back and forth briskly.

When they reached the landing, she dashed up the stairs to the 3rd floor and ran into the closet, the door closing behind her. She then buried herself in the clothes on the floor, hiding in the gloomy darkness.

They all peered into Marcus' room, seeing the total devastation she had left. Darious looked over his shoulder at Marcus, "She really doesn't like you, does she? Go ahead and get dressed. I will keep an eye out for her."

Walking in, Marcus started to rummage through the rubble on the floor, finding nothing but small pieces of his things here and there. His temper was boiling at the total destruction of what few personal items he had. Stalking back out into the hallway, he glowered up the stairs.

Looking at him quizzically, "Why didn't you get dressed?"

Glaring, Marcus snarled, "Get dressed in what? She ate all my fucking clothes!"

Darious arched an eyebrow at the attitude but he let it go for now. Sending Arkady to get a pair of his sweats, Darious kept an eye out in case she came back down. Arkady quickly found him a pair that weren't too badly mangled and Marcus quickly slipped them on. Then they all headed trepidatiously up to the 3rd floor.

It looked like a tornado has ripped though the bedroom. They walked gingerly through the mess on the floor, keeping a close eye out for her. Darious looked around, eyes finally resting on the mattress she had chewed the hole through. Sighing deeply he said, trying to make light of it and keep his temper under control, "If she had wanted to redecorate the house, all she had to do was ask, I would have hired someone. She didn't need to try and do it herself."

They all kept an eye out for her, knowing she was in there somewhere. Arkady picked his way through he mess to the bathroom and went in while Marcus and Darious started picking up the debris and piling it on the bed. Kneeling down cautiously, he looked under the bed, no Dani. Then he stood back up and brushed his hands off, peering around to see where else she could have found a hiding place. Arkady came back out and held up several partially eaten bars of soap, chuckling, "She even ate the soap, Sire!"

Shaking his head, Darious sighed, "After eating all that foam rubber she must have had a bad taste in her mouth and needed to wash it out." Even the stressed-out Marcus and Arkady chuckled at that one.

Darious looked around some more when his eyes lit on the closet. That was about the only place that she really could hide. Stepping forward quietly, he slowly opened the door.

She had been quietly lying on the floor chewing on the crotch of Darious' Armani tux pants when the doorknob started turning. She burrowed under the clothes, getting the hole in the pants over her head until they were around her neck like a necklace. When he opened the door all the way she leapt out, snarling. She startled Marcus so much he fell backwards over a tipped-over chair. Then she took off at top speed down the stairs until she got to the ground floor, where she leapt up into her cat loft and dove into one of the small trees there and attacked it, branches flying everywhere.

Quickly, they followed her and stood at the bottom of the staircase, watching the branches fly, and then watching her jumping from tree to tree, attacking each in turn. Darious chortled, "Well, at least we don't have to climb up there now and prune them.

Both Arkady and Marcus grinned at that one. Arkady then speculated, "I wonder what those poor defenseless trees ever did to her to warrant that abusive treatment?"

By this time Julia and Raven had arrived. They opened the door and stood there, mouths agape at the damage. Dani saw the door open and leaped down, dashing out it, leaping off the front porch into a nearby tree, which she proceeded to attack and started chewing on it.

Darious yelled, "Shit!" and took off out the front door, hoping she wasn't going to try to get off the compound. He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw her in the tree trying to chew it apart. The rest quickly joined him, chuckling, watching her. Raven looked at Darious, eyes dancing, "What's gotten into her?"

Shooting her a sharp look, Darious said, "You tell me! I come back to a house that's been torn apart by a kitty cat on a mixture of speed and steroids. I don't know what the hell has gotten into her. When I left she was fine, sleeping soundly."

Both women shook their heads, obviously as bewildered by her behavior as he was, eyes glued to her in the tree.

After most of the leaves and a bunch of the smaller branches were on the ground she sat down on one of the bigger branches and looked around. Then she spied one of the flowering bushes by the porch. She took of running down the branch and dove into the center of it, starting to chew it apart, bits of flowers and leaves flying in all directions as if a week whacker on drugs were loose in the center.

When the bush was sufficiently denuded for her tastes she poked her head out of the top of the bush, looked at those assembled there innocently and reowed before she leapt out and started to tear back and forth across the yard at top speed.

Julia looked at her, amazed, "Where is she getting the energy for all this exercise?"

Looking at Julia, thinking, Darious then said slowly, "That is a good question. This morning she didn't seem to have enough energy to get out of bed, let alone take on a marathon of destruction and mayhem like she is. Not only that, why is she so much bigger than normal?"

Stepping forward into the yard Julia watched her closely, "She had better stop this before it makes whatever is wrong with her worse. Once she calms down I will have a look at her to see what I can figure out."

Dani continued to dash back and forth until she saw everyone standing there watching her. Quickly looking around, she tried to find an escape. She spied Darious' classic Bentley, the car he had had for many years and was in mint condition, his pride and joy, then made a beeline for it, climbing into it through a partially opened window.

Darious' face became a mask of horror. Dashing forward he put his hands on the roof above the drivers side window and looked at her, "Please honey, don't hurt the car, OK? Come on out and you can play in the yard all you want to. PLEASE, Baby!" This was the closest he had ever come to begging her for anything.

She looked at him intently, then to the steering wheel, then back to Darious, head cocked to one side, tail twitching back and forth swiftly.

He was trying desperately to remain calm, "Come on out baby, and we'll find your chew toy. Just don't hurt my car, OK Baby?"

Reowing at him softly, she then attacked the steering wheel, ripping and chewing on it until it came off in her mouth. She then dug her claws into the fine-tooled leather seats, leaving long rips in them. She then hunched up and took a shit right on the console between the bucket seats. It wasn't solid, but a brown-colored liquid that splattered everywhere. Then, standing up and poking her head out the sunroof, the steering wheel still clutched in her mouth, she looked at him and reowed loudly.

The dark cloud that had been forming over his head in the house turned into something akin to a hurricane. He growled angrily and then shifted to full demon form.

The growl and shift frightened her and she clambered out of the sunroof then dashed at full speed into the garage, knocking his limited edition Harley Davidson motorcycle over in the process.

Raven and Julia saw this as their chance and slammed the garage door shut, locking it. Raven looked over at him, "I think we have her, finally."

Darious looked at them, hearing Dani tear apart the garage and start to claw at the door then looked back at the car. "She shit in my $500,000.00 Bentley. I am going to use her coat for a robe when I get my hands on her, I swear it!"

Raven and Julia both chuckled softly then turned back to the garage when they heard a large snapping and splintering noise. Dani had clawed and chewed a large hole in the door. Poking her head out, she looked at all of them then reowed before she climbed out the hole and took off around the house.

They all stood back and watched her take several laps around the house before an idea dawned on Julia. She got a very large hypodermic out of her bag and filled it with Thorozine then capped it and stuck it in her front pocket. On Dani's next lap by, she stepped forward and called to her softly.

Dani stopped and looked at her, cocking her head side to side, tail swishing rapidly to and fro. When Julia knelt down Dani trotted over to her and rolled onto her back at her feet, purring loudly. Julia pulled the needle out of her pocket, uncapped it with her teeth then quickly injected it into her hip. Dani reowed softly and looked up at her, tail swishing faster.

Watching her laying there passively after all the havoc, she had just caused infuriated Darious to no end. He fought the urge to walk over and punt her across the yard like a football.

When she started to doze off, Julia picked her up and carried her into the house and laid her gently in Darious' chair. Everyone followed and stood around, staring at the animal that had just about destroyed the entire house all by herself.

Raven looked around and chuckled, "So this is what happens when I kitty throws a temper tantrum."

Darious growled at her, not in the least bit amused. He then turned to Julia, "I want her so doped she doesn't even know what planet she is on from now on."

Nodding, Julia said, "I'll mix something up when I get back to the hotel. She looked at the sleeping Dani, then to Darious, "Don't be too hard on her, she is sick and probably didn't know what she was doing. Normally Dani wouldn't have destroyed something she took so much time and pains to design, then have built just the way she wanted it."

Darious looked at the sleeping cat curled up peacefully in his chair, "I'll handle this my own way, Julia. Now, if you'll excuse us ladies, it appears Arkady, Marcus, and I have a great deal of work to do. We'll call you if we need anything else." He knew Julia was right, that something had to be wrong with Dani for her to do what she had done to the house she was so proud of and loved so dearly. He just needed time alone to get his temper back under control. And as much as he loved his Bentley, he cared for her even more.