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From: Daphne Xu <daphneXU@PSEUDOnym.mixTUREminIATURE.netMUNIST>
Subject: {ASSM} "A Bikini Beach Summer" (15/21) {Daphne Xu}   (tg,magic,mc,off-screen sex,teens,young)
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Date: Sun, 07 Sep 2014 06:12:15 -0400
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            ******************************

    A Bikini Beach Summer
    by Daphne Xu

    Part 15
    Memories Return

Thanks to ElrodW, Bikini Beach's creator, for invaluable comments
on this story.  The Bikini Beach universe and its principal
characters are copyright 2001 by him.

Any comments about Bikini Beach, how it works, what it does, by
characters other than Anya or Grandmother are potentially
non-canonical and wrong.  As this story is told from a particular
point of view by the protagonist, this includes comments by the
narrator.  The protagonist, and thus the narrative, are what the
protagonist believes or interprets from what he is experiencing.
Thus some of the mechanics of BB are biased by the protagonist's
view and experiences.  Furthermore, because of the particular
viewpoint of the story, those errors often won't be corrected. 
When the errors are corrected, the correction will often be
disbelieved and rejected.

       Saturday, July 19th

When Mrs. King came to pick us up, I was all dressed -- in
clothes - - and ready.  I had my girl's swimsuit with me.  Pa
didn't like it?  Well, up his.  Suppose I did look silly in it? 
I still had the best friends anyone could want, at Bikini Beach.
They were nice about it.

I was already totally ruined, being seen in public Thursday.  How
could it get worse now?

I joined Vanessa, Helen, and another girl Helen's age in the SUV.

I remembered Thursday in the men's changing room, being terrified
about changing into a girl -- wondering what it would be like,
what I would remember.  Fortunately, my fears had proven
groundless: I stayed a boy. Vanessa didn't change either; she was
already a girl to begin with - - except why did she join me in
the men's room?  Oh blast it all, that false memory business. 
Maybe she did come as Vernon and change to Vanessa.

Her two-week pass ended with mine, Tuesday.  She got a new two-
month pass Thursday.  Did she change from Vernon to Vanessa then?
 Maybe I was remembering falsely, and my non-change was also
false.  The reassurance that my fears were groundless -- was that
false as well?  It was scaring me again.

Something she said in the changing room was nagging the back of
my mind; I couldn't quite remember what it was.  I kept trying
and trying to remember what it was, to no avail.  I decided to
relax, think about something else, and perhaps it would come to
me.

We arrived at Bikini Beach.  As on Thursday, Helen and the other
girl immediately went off to the turnstiles.  Vanessa joined
them, since she had her own pass now.  It was just Mrs. King and
myself in line.

More memories were nagging at me, that I couldn't quite seize
upon.  There had been some concern about Vanessa and her new
two-month pass.  Football, school classes in the fall, Jen. 
"Jen's parents think I'm female," Vanessa had said.

Jen.  Thursday, Jen was jealous when Vanessa had joined me in the
men's changing room.  Ahah, that's what Vanessa said there. 
Something like, "You have to figure out why we're both in the
men's changing room."  She also claimed to be Vernon in real
life, but only Vanessa while a member of Bikini Beach.  Was she
hinting that she was Vernon when we entered the men's room?

Were my memories going?  How much did I forget?  Was Vanessa
actually Vernon at the time, but I just forgot? Did I really turn
into a girl at the time, and then forget about it?  Did Bikini
Beach mess with my mind?  I was confused, and frightened.

My new bus-card was in my wallet.  I slipped it out, and fiddled
with it in my pocket.  I wasn't sure I wanted to go through with
this; maybe I should just bolt and take the bus home.

Mrs. King said, "You seem nervous."

"No, not nervous.  Just terrified," I answered.  "I know, I'm
going to change into a girl when I go inside.  Right?"  I hated
asking that embarrassing question.

"You've been going to Bikini Beach how long?  You should know
that by now."

I felt like a little kid being scolded.  "No, I didn't know. 
They changed my mind as well, made me forget.  I remember always
being male.  Maybe as a girl, I remembered always being a girl."
I cringed.  "What really happened on Thursday?  What really
happened Tuesday?  Before that? Nobody can tell me because their
memories are as phony as my own.

"I don't want to go inside if they're going to mess with my mind.
 I don't want any false memories."

"I'll see what I can do," said Mrs. King.

"If we can't, I don't want a pass.  I'll just take the bus back
home."  I was feeling very nervous, but I decided I wanted to be
firm about this.  I vowed I would be firm, even knowing in the
back of my mind I would likely cave.

I was getting more and more frightened as we approached the
ticket booth, but we finally reached it.  "May I help you?" the
saleslady asked.

"A day pass for Luke, but we have specific requests," answered
Mrs. King. "No reality-shift, no memory or cognitive alterations,
only the minimal mental and physical changes needed for a
transformation to female."  She turned to me.  "Is that what you
want?"

"Yes," I answered.  "I also want to remember myself as I was, boy
or girl, in the past.  I want to remember what actually happened
to me, what I saw and heard, in the past.  And I want my friends
to remember me as well, as I was, what actually happened with me.
 My sister Ruth, too.  I don't want phony memories."

"We have a three-week special, for the price of four one-day
passes.  If you take that, I would recommend the standard change
version.  Most people will remember you as if you were always the
girl.  You, your companions, and others you specify, remember you
but have at least an instinctive knowledge of the new version. 
That way, you can continue your ordinary routine.  But for the
one-day pass, the no mental change version should do."

"One day pass, please," said Mrs. King.  "As Luke wanted."

"Coming."  The saleslady typed on the computer.  "We have a
problem here. Our standing procedure with Luke, as ordered by his
mother, Mrs. Erin Cuttington, is to follow our practice with much
younger boys, and have him forget the changes.  His mother was
concerned about his reaction, if he knew he was changing into a
girl."

So I was right.  I WAS transformed to a girl, then forgot --
thanks to Bikini Beach, and Ma!

"No!" I exclaimed.  "Don't wreck my mind!"  Mrs. Eddy's
admonitions against mental malpractice came squarely to mind.  "I
freaked out July 4th because I didn't know about Bikini Beach
changes then.  I know about them now.  Ma has completely
forgotten, because of one of your reality-shifts.  I've
completely forgotten something, I know."  I was near panic.

Mrs. King said, "No reality-shift, no memory or cognitive
alterations, other than the remedial ones that he specified. 
Otherwise, no sale."

"I'll take over, Vicky," said someone from behind her.  It was
Anya.  "Take my place."

"Thank you, Anya," the saleslady was apparently relieved not to
have to deal with us.  "Anya can deal with the problems," I heard
her mumble to herself as she went off.

Anya turned to us.  "We'll follow your request.  Your current
near panic at something being done to your mind would be
sufficient reason.  The reason given by your mother clearly no
longer applies, and your suspicions of her motives may be
correct.  There is one thing that we must hold to, however. As a
boy, your memories of the women's changing room must be fogged
out. This, I'm sorry to say, is non-negotiable."

"I guess that's okay," I reluctantly agreed.  If I was going to
cave in, that was as good a thing to cave in on as anything.

"Another thing.  Your friends here will remember correctly, but
those not here won't have their memories restored until they
come.  Your family will see you as Lucy tonight, but will
remember only Luke.  I hope things work out with them."  I was
disappointed, but I guess it couldn't be helped. "You don't want
to hear the usual admonition to shower," Anya continued. "You are
correct in that the shower is where you change.  Courage, Luke."
She held her hand out, and I grabbed it for a handshake.

"Thank you, Miss.  Thanks, Mrs. King," I said, as I turned to the
men's changing room.  I kept hoping my memories wouldn't change
this time, but I was still quite nervous that they might.

I stood at a locker hesitating before removing my clothes, and
then removing them slowly.  I was putting off my shower.

I finally worked up my nerve, and stepped into the shower. 
Funny, I never recalled before noticing how soothing the shower
was.  I closed my eyes to enjoy it, when I began remembering
things.

 ...  Peter, my older brother, seventeen just as we'd concluded.
Peter disappearing for a few days, after which we were informed
of his arrest; he was in jail.  Ma and Pa arguing about whether
to hire a lawyer.  Ma sitting me down and somberly telling me
that Peter had raped and murdered a girl. The murdered girl was
Alice's cousin Jill Denison.  Peter coming home, required to stay
at home except for church and court appearances.  Peter
repeatedly denied having killed anyone.  Finally Peter was free
to do as he pleased, apparently exonerated.  Peter having bouts
of fury and rage at the police, along with nightmares.

 ...  July 4th.  Learning about, and being devastated by, Peter's
enraged murderous thoughts.  I remembered now that they were
directed toward the police for what they did to him.

 ...  Ruth, the two weeks ending in July 4th.  Completely
different from what I remembered.  Ruth and Astronomy magazine
and "Forbidden Flowers". Ruth telling about DNA.  Apparently, DNA
mismatch got Peter off.  Ruth pestering Mr. Matsumoto to get DNA
testing for the current suspect in Jill's murder.  Me freaking
out upon learning from Anya about Peter's murderous thoughts as
detected by Bikini Beach -- the murderous rage against the
police.

 ...  Me as Luke.  Me as Lucy.  Ma taking Peter and me to Bikini
Beach. Peter changing to Ruth.  Me changing to Lucy.  My crush on
Mr. Oregon, my clarinet teacher?  Yuck! How mortifying!  I'd
actually even hugged him as Lucy.  Going out practically naked in
a bikini.  Even a one-piece swimsuit showed way too much leg --
as in, one hundred percent.  My desire to be a good Christian
Scientist?  Was I really going to give a testimonial Wednesday
evening about wearing bikinis and one-piece swimsuits at Bikini
Beach?  Boy was I relieved that the pass ended before that
Wednesday evening.  Gees, what a bimbo I was.

By now I realized the shower was off.  I returned to my bench and
locker to find my one-piece swimsuit where I left it.  I put it
on; the tight stretchy strip covering my crotch felt utterly
strange, making me all too aware of the vacancy, the complete
change, there -- rather exciting and arousing, too.  It was
almost perpetual masturbation.  I wasn't sure I wanted to go
outside in this.  Being excited and aroused was one thing; being
excited and aroused in public was something completely different.

I finally did exit, and met Mrs. King out there.  I blushed, and
she said, "I was wondering what was taking you so long in there,
and I would have entered in another five minutes to see what was
wrong.  There's nothing to be embarrassed about, Lucy."

"Mrs. King, you don't have any idea how a boy feels in this body,
with this kind of swimsuit.  My standard swimsuit trunks go
almost to my knees -- and that's only part of the problem."  I
was too embarrassed to tell the rest. "But also, I suddenly
remembered a bunch of new things; things I'd completely
forgotten."

"Would you care to talk about it?" asked Mrs. King.

I wound up spilling it all out, and crying in Mrs. King's arms.

"Would you like to talk to Anya or Grandmother about it?"

"No!  No!  Anya made me think that Peter was an angry, enraged
murderer, when in reality his rage was directed against the cops
who made him confess.  Then Bikini Beach made me forget about it!
 Bikini Beach made me forget learning about Ruth and Peter!"

"Okay, we don't have to do anything right now.  You might want to
meet your friends.  They'll help you calm down, at least escape
from this for a day, if not actually help you."

"Oh, oh!  Please, don't tell Alice about this.  The murder victim
was her cousin Jill."  I didn't want to hurt or devastate Alice.

"Oh my!"  She paused, then continued, "I've no words..."  She
paused further.  "Vanessa said they'd be at the Wild River Fun,
if you want to catch up with them."

"Thanks!"  I ran off, and did find them at the Swimming Hole.

I heard them before I spotted them in the water.  "Hey, Lucy!"
came this familiar call from the distance.

I ran into the water, dove in when it got deep enough despite the
sudden cold, and swam over to them.

"Oh my God!" exclaimed Becky.  "I always remembered you as Lucy
back in school, when you were really Luke!  No wonder I never
thought of you as girlfriend material!"

"I never remembered!" I exclaimed, treading water.  "As Luke, I
never remembered being Lucy, and as Lucy, I never remembered
being Luke."

"Does that mean you completely forgot about us at Bikini Beach,
when you were home as Luke?" asked Alice.

"No-no-no-no!  I had wonderful memories of doing things with all
of you, and simply being with you.  I often wondered how quickly
you girls accepted me, a guy, as one of your own, and most of the
time I thought of myself as being simply one of the girls --
metaphorically, of course.  I had no idea how true that was
literally.  Vanessa, you hit the bull's eye Thursday."

"Whatever did you do differently, this morning?" Vanessa asked.

"I don't think I can tell it the story treading water like this.
Let's head back to the beach.  By the way," I continued.  "Did
Steph come?  What about her brother?"

"Craig?  Alice and I are dating them again, tonight," said Becky.
 "We need them both male."  She giggled.  "She's sleeping over
tonight, too."  She giggled some more.

When we all got settled back on the beach, I began, "This
morning, I nearly had another of my famous freak-outs.  On the
way to Bikini Beach, I was thinking about what Carol said
Wednesday about Bikini Beach changes, and then coming to Bikini
Beach on Thursday -- being terrified of changing into a girl.

"My fears had proven groundless -- at least that's what I was
remembering. Then I kept remembering things, primarily about
Vanessa with me in the men's changing room, as well as what she
said about being Vernon."

"Oh my," interrupted Jen.  "I remember now, you were Luke when
you joined Vernon then.  And I thought you were Lucy, and got all
furious and jealous when you went with Vernon into the men's
room!  I'm so very sorry!"

"Wasn't your fault."  I hugged Jen.  "I thought I was Lucy too,
and thought that Vernon was Vanessa.  Even worse, I didn't even
think of being in the men's room until Vanessa pointed it out --
and then I just got confused. This morning, I remembered you
being jealous because I as Luke was alone with Vanessa in the
men's room.

"I can't remember everything I thought, everything that nagged at
me, but I came to suspect that my reassurance was false, a false
memory.  And Vanessa's mom flat-out confirmed, I would become a
girl -- even said that it happened so routinely I should have
known -- I got really scared about my mind being messed with.

"I was about to bolt, to run off and take the bus home. 
Vanessa's mom helped me.  At the ticket booth, I learned that Ma
arranged with Bikini Beach to make me forget -- forget my own
transformations, and everyone else's as well."

"Oh, that's horrible!" said Becky.

"Yes, that's why Jen remembered Vernon, but I remembered
Vanessa."

"And I remembered Lucy instead of Luke," added Jen.

"I guess Ma wanted Bikini Beach to make everyone else forget mine
as well," I said.  "Then Ma forgot when she had Ruth's pass
upgraded to lifetime. She doesn't remember any more.  I forgot
everything about Ruth, with that upgrade!"

"We all did, Luke," said Vanessa.  "I'm appalled I forgot what we
learned about Ruth that day.  Yes, I know Ruth's upgrade did it,
but I'm still appalled."

"Peter was furious about how he'd been treated, and was framed
for a crime. He was no murderer!" I exclaimed.  Everyone spoke at
once, and I couldn't get what they were saying.  I managed to
calm myself down.  "I don't want to say any more about Peter,
until I've talked with Ruth."  I was quite relieved to think up
that excuse, and I realized it was the right thing to do, but I
really wanted to avoid talking about the murder of Alice's
cousin.

"I was telling my story," I said.  "Mrs. King demanded no
reality- shift, and that I and my friends and my sister remember
myself correctly.  Anya saw that I was about to freak out about
mind control and memory changes.  I got more than I expected, in
that I think I remember what happened before I began coming here.
 Vanessa was right on the button."

I stopped, not knowing what else to say.

Vanessa came and hugged me.  "If there's anything you'd like to
talk about, we're willing to lend an ear."  Then she spoke to
everyone, "That goes for everyone, right?  We all have things
we'd forgotten involving Lucy.  But meanwhile, we're here to
relax and have fun, not to make ourselves miserable."

We had a good time the rest of the day.  By silent consensus, we
said nothing further about our recovered memories.  Except for
Becky and Carol, the girls had few memories of me as Luke.  We
also said nothing about what we learned and then forgot about
Ruth and Peter.

We joined Mrs. King and Helen for lunch, and Helen exclaimed,
"Wow!  I remember now, you're Luke!"

That evening, I went home with Mrs. King as usual.  I wasn't sure
whether to return to the men's changing room, or go into the
woman's room.  Vanessa answered, "I'm not sure it matters.  I
think that whichever you choose, you will know where your locker
is, and you will find Lucy's version of your clothes."

I decided that the right thing to do, since I was really a boy --
or at least would be one tomorrow -- was to return to the men's
room.  I noticed for the first time the sign on it inside Bikini
Beach, "women's overflow changing room."

I went to the locker, and found clothes obviously meant for me as
Lucy: white bra and panties, white anklet socks and sky-blue
sneakers, and a light sky-blue short-ruffle-sleeved dress that
ended just above my knees.

I joined Vanessa, Jen, and Helen, and Helen's friend whose name
I'd forgotten, and Mrs. King picked us up in the SUV.  Rather
like an earlier false memory of appearing in a girl's swimsuit,
Ma and Pa were now going to see me in a dress -- or worse, as an
actual girl!  Eek!  How could I face them?

Would they even recognize me?  Maybe it would be best if they
didn't -- it would save major embarrassment.  But then where
would I go for the night? Presumably, I'd be back to normal in
the morning.

Would Ruth recognize me?  Funny, I didn't find the idea of Ruth
seeing me as a girl mortifying, like my parents.  She already
knew about the changes. But she was probably over at Daisy's.

When Mrs. King stopped in front of our house, she asked, "Would
you like me to come in with you?  To explain things, perhaps?"

I had to be brave.  I said, still very unsure, "I think I'll be
okay."

"I'll wait here, just in case, though," said Mrs. King.  "If you
need me, come and get me."

I nervously walked up the walkway, and opened the door.  "Ma? 
Pa?  I'm home!"

Ma and Pa emerged from Pa's office and the kitchen about the same
time.  Ma stopped with an expression of shock.

"Who are--" began Pa, when both Daisy and Ruth dashed into the
living room from the basement stairs.

"Is that you, Luke?" asked Ruth uncertainly.

"Yes, it's Luke!  I remember now!" exclaimed Daisy excitedly. 
"He's Lucy now.  He's been changing from Luke to Lucy, because of
Bikini Beach.  And -- oh, my God! Ruth, you were Peter!"  She
turned back to me.  "Bikini Beach makes you a very pretty girl,
Lucy, Luke."

"Just what I wanna hear," I mumbled.  I realized anew that I was
wearing a dress in front of my parents.

Ruth suddenly said, "Their car's still out front.  Come, I want
you to meet Helen!"  She grabbed Daisy's hand and led her
outside.

I was alone with Ma and Pa now.

"You really are Luke?" asked Ma slowly.

"Yes, Ma.  I guess I'm supposed to be your daughter Lucy now."

"Well, you do resemble quite a bit what I saw in the mirror when
I was about your age."

"I agree," said Pa.  "She looks like an older version of Ruth as
well. Very pretty, too."  I sighed.  "So my question is, just
what is going on here?"

I decided to inject a little humor into the situation.  "Pa, do
you remember saying something a couple days ago? Something like
this?  `Turn yourself into a girl!'"

"Well yah," answered Pa.  "I didn't mean it seriously.  Angry
sarcasm, you know.  I had no idea..."

I wondered if I should tell him that that was a false memory,
created by Bikini Beach.  I decided against it.  I realized that
I didn't actually remember the event itself anymore; I only
remembered going over it in my mind when I was Luke for real.

"Ma, Pa, do you mind if I go upstairs and put my stuff away?"

"Um, no, not at all, go right ahead," said Ma.

I went up to my bedroom, and opened the door.  "My bedroom!"  I
shouted loud enough for Ma and Pa to come running up.  Of course,
I remembered it well; the surprise was feigned to get Ma and Pa's
attention.  It was my bedroom as Lucy.  The colors were different
-- brighter and more pastel -- and the room was overall much
neater.  I checked my closet.  Hanging inside were dresses of all
sorts, including the new adult-like dress I'd bought during the
sleepover, and also the leotard-type semi-dress.  There was the
olive-green miniskirt I'd worn on July 4th.  I also saw several
swimsuits, including my contraband bikini.  There were many
things I hoped Pa wouldn't notice.

"Oh my!" said Pa.

"How did all this get here?  Where did it all come from?" asked
Ma.

"I guess that it changed when I changed this morning," I
answered.  "Ma, you forgot when you upgraded Ruth's Bikini Beach
membership to lifetime. Pa never knew in the first place.  Try
calling Mrs. Winstead.  She knows. You'd probably believe her
over me."

"I really shouldn't be saying this, but we're not on speaking
terms," said Ma.

I wasn't going to tell her that I'd overheard her dispute with
Mrs. Winstead.  In particular, I wasn't going to call it a
catfight in front of Ma or Pa.  "Ma, suppose you called her, and
tried to make up with her.  Suppose you offered a humble, genuine
apology.  Maybe even invited her to Sunday Dinner tomorrow."

"That's an idea," answered Ma.  "I think I'll try it.  She used
to be such a good friend."

"Losing one's friends over a single quarrel, that's just so sad,"
I said. I wondered if I would have thought that as Luke.

Ma went straight to the phone in the kitchen.  While she was
talking with Mrs. Winstead, Ruth and Daisy returned from visiting
the Kings.

"Helen and Greta are very nice," Daisy said.  "I want to see them
again."

If Mrs. Winstead came to Sunday Dinner tomorrow, I was going to
bring up Bikini Beach transformations, if I had the courage and
didn't chicken out. The idea was developing in my mind.  Perhaps
if I had Mr. and Mrs. Matsumoto to support me...

"Um, Daisy?  Pa?" I began.  "Since we had dinner last night with
Daisy's parents, I think we should invite them for Sunday Dinner
tomorrow.  You as well of course, Daisy."

"Oh, yes.  Please, Pa?" begged Ruth.

"That sounds like a good idea.  But if we're already inviting
Ma's friend..." said Pa.

"Oh, there's room for all of us," I said.

At that point, Ma returned to the living room, having apparently
finished her phone conversation with Mrs. Winstead.

"Room for what?" she asked, then immediately continued, "Great
news! Mrs. Winstead has accepted my apology, and is coming for
dinner tomorrow!"

"Ma, could Daisy and her parents come for dinner too?" asked
Ruth.

"After all," I added, "I had dinner with them last night."

"Very well.  It appears I'm going u wWhen Mrsook double portions,
tomorrow," said Ma.  "I'll call and invite them."  Ma returned to
the phone.

She returned shortly.  "Great news!" she said.  "Glenn and Ellen
-- and Daisy of course -- will be coming for Sunday Dinner
tomorrow."  It took a moment to recall that Glenn and Ellen were
the names of Daisy's parents.

It was late now -- past Ruth's bedtime, and approaching mine.  I
decided to head off to bed.  I recalled wearing nightgowns and
even sometimes oversized tee-shirts that I "borrowed" from Pa,
but I didn't feel comfortable now in anything but pajamas.  I put
on a pastel green set, even though the pants were embarrassingly
short, and went to bed. 

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