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Message-ID: <62798asstr$1381219896@assm.asstr-mirror.org>
From: Joe Schneider <mphasstr@yandex.ru>
Subject: {ASSM} My Personal Hell (Mb, nc, reluc, rape, inc, ped)
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Date: Tue, 08 Oct 2013 04:11:36 -0400
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My Personal Hell (Mb, nc, reluc, rape, inc, ped) by: mphasstr@yandex.ru Please feel free to contact me.

<1st attachment, "my-personal-hell.txt" begin>

My Personal Hell (Mb, nc, reluc, rape, inc, ped) by: mphasstr@yandex.ru
Please feel free to contact me.

   I was a 6-year-old boy when my uncle Arthur started molesting me.  He
used to make me get naked with him and then he would french-kiss me while
touching my butt and my weewee.  He also forced me to lie down naked on the
old couch in the basement.  Then he would put his big weewee between my
thighs or my buttcheeks and rub it there until he shot his sticky milk. 
After a while he taught me to stroke his boner with my two hands and to
lick its big plum-like head.  Then he'd shoot his sticky milk in my mouth
and force me to swallow it almost every day.

   I didn't know at first that it was wrong, so I didn't mind doing it.  My
mom was single and always in a big rush because of her job, so she never
talked to me about bad touch.  I was practically raised by Uncle Arthur and
Aunt Sandra, and only saw my mom late at night and on the weekends.

   When Aunt Sandra was home (most of the time), my uncle would abuse me in
the basement.  He used to lie to her, telling her that he was going to
teach me about carpentry at his small improvised workshop.  She was a very
shy and submissive woman, and didn't doubt him at first.  The couch where
Uncle Arthur molested me had old torn upholstry that felt sticky and itchy.
After a while, I got a rash on my hairless pubic area and also on my tummy,
from lying down on it.  Aunt Sandra noticed my rash when she was giving me
a shower, so my uncle started to bring clean sheets down to the basement to
put over the couch.

   My uncle used to shower with me sometimes, when my aunt wasn't home.  He
used to aim the showerhead's stream into my butt and force me to spread my
cheeks so the water would get inside.  He would also shove a finger in my
butthole and rub liquid soap in there.  The first time he did this it kinda
hurt because his finger was thick and my hole was tight, but after a while
I got used to it.

   The basement was pretty cold during the winter, but my uncle still
forced me to undress for him.  He only allowed me to wear socks and mittens
to warm up my extremities.  Those days I almost felt grateful when he lied
on top of me and smothered me under his big burly body.  It was suffocating
but at least it kept me warm.

   He also taught me to talk dirty to him and made me repeat the same
things over and over again for his pleasure.  Things like "I'm a little
fag-slut", "I love your cock" and "Cum in my mouth please".  I didn't know
yet exactly what those words meant, even though I'd heard them before.

   One day Aunt Sandra found out that my uncle had been sexually abusing
me. I don't know how she caught wind of it, because I don't remember her
ever walking in on us.  Maybe she peeked very discreetely, or maybe she
became suspicious of the circumstances.  The fact is that there was a huge
fight between them about it.  I think I was 8 years old then.

   I was watching TV in the living room, while Aunt Sandra and Uncle Arthur
were arguing in their bedroom with the door closed.  I couldn't hear what
they were saying, but at some point I noticed that my uncle was raising his
voice and speaking agressively.  Then I heard him slap Aunt Sandra a few
times and then there were some slamming noises, like he was shoving her
against the door.  Aunt Sandra left their room crying, ran inside the guest
room and locked it.  Uncle Arthur went after her and started banging on the
door.  He yelled something like "If you don't open this fucking door right
now I'm gonna kick it down and beat the shit out of you"!  Aunt Sandra let
Uncle Arthur in, and then he started telling her that he was doing nothing
wrong because I was a "little faggot" and I "loved cock".  He warned my
aunt that he was going to beat her up for real if she told anyone about it,
especially my mom (his sister).

   He made me go into the guest room and tell my aunt that I "loved cock".
I did as he told me, as I'd been repeating those words for a couple of
years now.  My aunt looked very scared and shocked as I said what my uncled
told me to.  Her face was red and a little swollen from the beating.

   After that day I started to suspect there was something wrong about what
my uncle was doing to me.  He kept telling me it was all normal but it was
hard to believe him, having seen my aunt's reaction and how he made such a
big deal about keeping it a secret from my mom.  He kept telling me that
Aunt Sandra was a "jealous dumb bitch" and what we had was "special".

   My uncle stopped taking me down to the basement after that fight,
because the cat was out of the bag anyway.  He started to molest me in his
bedroom, on the same bed where he slept with Aunt Sandra.  She pleaded with
him a few times to quit doing it, but he slapped her and yelled at her
every time.  So she stopped trying to interfere and just stayed in the
kitchen or the guest room while Uncle Arthur abused me.  She barely talked
to me anymore and she couldn't even look me in the eye.

   I started to feel ashamed of doing those things, especially
french-kissing him.  I was starting to realize that that way of kissing was
something dirty that daddies did to mommies.  I learned that from TV and
movies, because in real life I hardly ever spent time with my mom and
didn't have a dad.

   I also learned the meaning of the words "fag", "slut", "cock", "cum"
from my friends at school, and saw how they were used as insults.  As such
I was getting ashamed of saying those phrases that my uncle liked me to
say.

   But my reluctance did nothing but further encourage him.  He seemed to
get off on humiliating me.  He started to cum all over my face, making a
big mess every time.  He bought and made me wear girl's panties.  I cried
my eyes out the first time my uncle forced me to wear pink cotton panties.
He did not care.  He kept pushing his dick down my throat to muffle my
crying.  Then he sat on his bed and made me kneel on the floor and suck his
cock until he ejaculated all over my face and chest.  Then he sat me on his
lap and we watched cartoons together while he rubbed his cum on body until
it dried off.

   He often turned the TV on cartoons when he molested me.  I guess he
wanted me to associate sex with him to something fun, but it kinda
backfired so, every time I saw a cartoon character, I used get ashamed.

   By the time I was 9 or 10 I think, my uncle decided that I was big
enough to take his cock in my ass.  First, we both went into the bathroom
and he washed my hole with the showerhead and his finger.  Then he made me
get on all fours on his bed and poured some sort of oil in my anus and
rubbed it in with his finger.  He started to try and push his dick in, but
it was way too thick for me.  I cried and tried to escape crawling away
from him, but he held my waist tight and kept pulling me towards him.  He
just continued to push hard until he finally managed to "break in", causing
me a lot of pain.  I couldn't see what was going on behind me, but I knew
he only managed to get a little over the tip in.  After so many times
jerking and sucking his cock, I had a pretty good estimate of its length.

   As I cried because of all the pain and humiliation, my uncle made me beg
him to "fuck my bitch boy pussy".  His penis wasn't even halfway in and I
already couldn't handle it, but still he forced me to act like I wanted
more.  When he was done with me, he shot his sperm inside my ass and pulled
out.  I was still crying, because it felt like my butthole was all
stretched out and would never go back to normal.  He lied down with me
afterwards, french kissing me, as if what had happened was romantic or
something.

   He raped me over and over again, and by the end of the month I was
already accommodating his entire dick in my ass.  Still painfully, but not
as much.  I no longer cried when he fucked me.

   Shortly after my getting used to being fucked in the ass by Uncle
Arthur, two things happened in school that soured everything once again.

   First there was this fight that I overheard, where one of the boys
threatened the other yelling "I'm gonna rape you in the butt" or "I'm gonna
fuck you in the ass", or something like that.  That really made me
self-conscious and ashamed.  It was not my first time hearing those words,
my uncle often said some variation thereof to me when he actually fucked me
in the butt.  But for some reason that one time really stuck with me. 
Then, later that same week, my school couselour gave a talk about strangers
and "inappropriate touching".  Pretty much everything he mentioned had
happened to me, the only difference was that it wasn't a stranger doing it,
it was my uncle.  The counselour kept repeating that word "inappropriate"
and reminding us that we should refuse to do those things and tell an
adult.

   For the first time I tried to physically curb my uncle's advances. 
First he tried to kiss me, so I turned my head away and covered my mouth.
He tried to make me suck his dick, but I refused to open my mouth.  He
started to get upset and curse at me.  Then he told me he was going to fuck
my butt.  I replied "No, it's inappropriate" and kept holding on to my
shorts.  He told me to "shut the fuck up" and yanked them out with one
quick motion.  When I realized that I couldn't stop him and that was going
to happen anyway, I told him "I don't wanna" and "I'm gonna tell my mom"!
When he heard me say that, my uncle slowed down and tried to bargain with
me.  He told me that he loved me, that he would be nice to me and make me
feel good.  I did not believe him and I was determined not to cooperate. 
Uncle Arthur slapped me across the face real hard (although I think he was
holding back a little) and asked "Did you see what I did to your aunt?  Do
you want me to do the same to you?  Do you"?

   Once he threatened me, I stopped offering resistence and complied.  He
raped me again, but he was indeed "nicer", as he'd promised.  Well, as nice
as a rapist can be anyway.  He stopped penetrating me when I whined too
much, and he allowed me to take a break when I was too sore.  He also
stopped humiliating me with his cum and forcing me to wear panties.

   As the days went by I started to make peace with the fact that I wasn't
going to escape him ever.  So I started to get used to being fucked by my
uncle.  Then I started feeling OK.  Then I started to even enjoy it a
little bit.

   My hole loosened up enough that it could take Uncle Arthur's cock
without giving me pain, unless he was slamming extra hard or not using
enough lube.  So that was the time when I started noticing how good it felt
rubbing on my insides and massaging my prostate.  Tragically, I was
starting to enjoy my rape.

   When I was almost 11, puberty kicked in and I had my first orgasm while
being abused by Uncle Arthur.  This was a very confusing time for me
because I was now enjoying the sex, even though I still feared and resented
my uncle.  I really looked forward to being penetrated in my butthole, but
I couldn't stop feeling animosity towards that man.  Very often I tried to
close my eyes and imagine it was someone else fucking me, without success.
After all the things he had done to me, I knew him in such detail.  His
body, his touch, his smell, everything about him was imprinted in my
memory, and I hated all of it.

   I guess my uncle assumed that I was enjoying being with him from seeing
me cum.  He started treating me a lot more gently because of that.  That's
when I learned that making him happy would result in less suffering for me.
So I went back to wearing panties for him, just because I knew he liked it.
I'd lie down beside him on the bed, stroking and licking his cock while he
caressed my chest and my cotton-clad butt.  He'd often interrupt and french
kiss me for a couple of minutes, then let me resume.  We started doing a
lot of foreplay before penetration.

   When I turned 12, my mom stopped dropping me off at Uncle Arthur's on
her way to work, because now she trusted me to be home alone.

   Now my uncle was arriving from work and no longer finding his fucktoy
waiting for him to abuse.  I was finally being allowed some peace and
quiet, not being subject to his every whim day in and day out.

   But I'd lived over half of my life being trained by my uncle to suck his
dick and to take it up my ass, and as it turns out, these habits tend to
linger.  I had nearly no experience interacting with other boys or men
except sexually.  What's more, my puberty hormones were making me crave
sex. But now I was free to pursue my desires with whoever I wanted...

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