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From: IJ Glenncannon <ijglenncannon@gmail.com>
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Subject: {ASSM} The Glenncannon Muses: Ketaki and Kioko - Part 2 of 4 (Muse-mortal, implied sex, fantasy, asst other codes, collection of short scenes)
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Date: Thu, 08 Aug 2013 13:10:01 -0400
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The continuing adventures...
---

The Glenncannon Muses
Part 2 of 4
---

Ketaki & Kioko 001
---

Bruce had gone to work.  Myrto and Kio had left to go explore the
world together.

That left Ke and me to ourselves, so we settled on the couch and
snuggled.

We shared silence for awhile, then I chuckled.  "Do I get to know what
was *really* going on?"

"You noticed?"

"How could I *not* notice?  First, a substitute Muse shows up
unannounced.  Then, she admits that usually, she would have tried to
make me think she was you.  Since it sounded like you didn't give her
much of a briefing, I would have spotted her fairly soon."

"But the real absurdity happened the first morning she was here.  I
was barely into a normal morning brainstorming session with her, and
she overloaded!  You've been with me for years, and that's never
happened."

I hugged her, then sighed.   "As if I needed *another* clue, she did
that silly 'by your will'.  Muses aren't that...  meek.  She sounded
like she was pretending to be a big dog, then *you* showed up and she
knew she was caught and rolled to her back while she hoped you
wouldn't get too upset with her.  The only explanation that makes
sense, is that you're some sort of senior Muse, or a member of some
sort of ruling group.  Maybe both."

She had been watching me, and finally she sighed.  "Ok.  First of all,
Kioko is...  not really a first generation 'Muse's Muse'. Technically,
she's not a Muse, because her job isn't to inspire. However, since we
don't yet have enough like her to form a guild of their own, and since
she is supposed to work around creative people, she's classed as a
Muse."

"Do I need two Muses?"

"Yes.  Definitely!  The creation of Kioko was an unintended
consequence.  If it makes you feel better, Glenn.  I never overloaded.
It takes a *lot* to surprise me into not being able to ignore what my
mortal is producing."

"So Myrto and the others assumed you had?"

"Yes."

"So...  I'm not upset, only curious.  What *did* happen?"

She giggled.  "I needed a break from my own creativity, that's all."

"That's it?!"

After it sank in, I realized how absurd that was, and I started
chortling.

That set her off some more, which made me change to laughter, and the
feedback eventually had us wrapping each other in hugs and laughing so
hard we were crying.

We eventually slowed down enough we could kiss each other, then we
pulled back so we could grin at each other.  "Ke?  Nice job of
ducking.  Doesn't matter.  Kioko is some sort of universal sponge,
isn't she?  Then, with her ability to release what she absorbs...
surge protection?  She and any others like her are going to be able to
deal with all the creativity that's a result of people being able to
share anything they do?"

Ke resnuggled.  "There aren't enough Muses to do the job on an
individual basis.  Their job will be to help reduce the overall
background level to something that doesn't keep all of us on the edge,
all the time.  We knew *what* we needed, but we didn't know how to
trigger the conditions that would help that type of being manifest.
What *I* was hoping for, was for Myr to settle in with us, and then
maybe the three of us could find a local solution for handling the
excess, that could be adapted for more general use.

"I was *not* expecting the combination to do the impossible, which was
producing a mortal/non-mortal hybrid!"

I snorted.  "What happens now?"

"I'll keep an eye on things and once I'm satisfied that Kioko really
is the solution we've been looking for, I'll report in, and after
that, it will be up to other Muses in non-standard relationships to
create the conditions that will help them create more manifestations
with Kioko's abilities."

"Interesting times ahead.  Welcome back, Love."

"True.  Thanks.  Any news of your own?"

"Well, there's the unfinished collaboration that triggered the
creation of Kioko.  A decision will have to be made about it."

"Let Kioko help with it, or at least, have her there while the two of
you are working on it."

"Ok.  You said Cerby has been updating you?"

"Some.  He refuses to tell me the reason he's carrying his tail a lot
higher."

"Has he been...  happier, too?"

"Definitely!"

"He's in love."

"Really?!  Who?!"

"His Muse.  Myrtoessa.  She spends most of her time as a female
version of him.  The two of them are already quite a hit at the Mall
and dog parks."

She stared at me in obvious shock.  "Cerby...  has his own Muse?"

"Yeah.  She linked to him the first time they went to the Mall
together.  Totally unexpected on her part.  She had it bad enough she
forgot the new rules, and came at it sideways enough that I had to
figure out what was going on, on my own, then give her permission to
be a three headed bitch, if that's what she wanted to be, to his three
headed dog.  That might help explain Kioko's affinity for her 'Uncle
Brucie'."

"Speaking of ducking, Glenn, you've left out an important detail."

I grinned at her.  "Have I?  Too impatient to find out when you catch
up on your reading?  I'll trade.  My detail, for another one of
yours."

"Mine?  There aren't any more."

"No?  What made you pick Myrtoessa?  She mentioned that you listened
to their names, thought about it, then pointed at her and called her
'perfect' before you told her to show up as herself."

"Your detail, first."

"That collaboration is mostly pure stream of consciousness, told from
the Muse's pov, about a substitute Muse who suddenly finds herself
life-linked to a mortal and a non-mortal at the same time, and both
relationships are non-standard.  Naturally, many of her long
suppressed dreams are in there."

"Which of you thought of trying that insanity?"

"It was mostly my idea, with her enthused support.  We wanted to
deliberately push things as part of defining the new rules we'd be
using.  Call it a more focused version of what you and I did.  If
there was a screwup, it was shared, because I believed her when she
insisted she was 'tougher' than you are.  That toughness turned out to
be a faster recovery time, not a true toughness in the sense of
needing more from me before she overloaded."

Ke nodded slightly.  "Muses tend to get uppity and arrogant about our
skills.  It's part of the traditional way of thinking.  After a few
long term relationships, no matter what type they are, we learn to be
more sensible about it, because we've had our noses rubbed in the
evidence of our limitations."

She suddenly grinned.  "You didn't figure out what made Myr
'perfect'?"

"I have a suspicion I know."

"It was her name.  It has 'toe' as part of it, and you have that toe
fetish..."

I groaned.  "Arrrgh!  I was right.  It was word play!"

I stood, held out my hand, then I grinned at her.  "Come, My Love. Let
us retire to the den, so I may welcome you back...  Properly!"
====

Ketaki & Kioko 002
---

"Dad?

"Dad?!

"DADDY!!"

"Huh?  Oh.  Hi, Kio.  Welcome home.  Did you enjoy yourself?"

"Yes, I did."

"Good.  I'll be right with you, after I finish this part."

Kio grabbed my hands and lifted them from my keyboard.  "Dad?  Are you
*sure* you can't finish it later?"

I glanced at Ke, who nodded calmly, so I finally took a good look at
Kio.  "I suppose I could, and Ke is ok with waiting.  Is there a
problem?"

"Huh?!  Ketaki can think after all that?!"

"Yes, Dear, I can.  Apparently, you believe there is a problem?"

"What were you guys *doing*?  Of course I think there's a problem!  I
come home and find passed out Muses *everywhere*, including in the
house.  Dad's typing away and obviously in some sort of 'writer's
zone'.  And you...  you had your eyes closed and as far as I could
tell, you were so totally zoned you were on the verge of passing out.
I took the time to make it so all those Muses could wake up, recover
enough they could start thinking, then I sent them home before I
figured out a way to absorb enough so I could fight my way in here to
see if there was anything I could do!"

"Glenn was welcoming me home, that's all.  We're fine."

"Well, I'm not!  I'll be back after I have a chance to get rid of all
that!"

Ke smiled.  "Will I have time to cook our dinner?  Where are Cerby and
Myr?"

"Yes, you'll have time to cook dinner...  Umm... Could you give me
about thirty minutes, so I can dissipate what I can't deal with,
before *you* get creative?"

"We'll manage to find something to do that isn't creative."

Ke smiled benevolently, and Kio studied her a long time before she
nodded jerkily.  "I can guess, since you two are worse than Mom and
Uncle Bruce.  Both of them will be gone for a few days.  They got
married, and are already on their honeymoon.  Would you believe they
agreed to be put up in a honeymoon suite... in Hades?!

"I gotta go, before I explode!"

She vanished.

Ke sat up and laughed.  "She's coming along nicely, isn't she?"

I leaned back and stretched the kinks out before I answered.
"Apparently.  You know more about that, than I do.  I *do* think we
have direct evidence that there has been another unintended
consequence revealed.  We've done this before, and I don't recall ever
finding passed out Muses in the area."

She came over and started massaging my shoulders.  "Indeed.  I'd
better go put a hold on letting mortals have more than one Muse.  Will
you excuse me, briefly?"

"Of course you are excused.  I'm probably as nervous as you are, about
this change in my...  'broadcast'."

She was gone for about ten minutes.  "Dealt with.  There will be some
in depth interviews of everyone who answered, to see if a common
factor can be isolated."

"Good.  Should I light the fire pit, for a nice, uncomplicated BBQ?"

She walked over and looked out the window before she turned and smiled
at me.  "That sounds good.  I'll make sure what's going to be cooking
doesn't require a lot of special attention, so be sure and get some of
the outdoor blankets from the garage."

"Will do."

* * *

Kio found us sprawled on the blankets and gazing at the stars, while
we waited for the food to cook.

Instead of joining us, she grabbed a patio chair and positioned it so
she could study us.  "I'm empty, except for enough to give me a warm
feeling."

I let Ke deal with her.  "How are you, otherwise?  Do you think you
could handle another situation like that one, or a similar one?"

"Right now?"

"Yes."

"Sure.  It's weird, but I think I wasn't as near my limit as I thought
I was.  Plus...  Does it make sense, when I say I think I can someday
find a way to suck it in, change it so it's safe, then dissipate it,
all at once, so I don't have to store it?"

"Change it?"

"Yeah.  I know it sounds impossible, but I've been thinking, and isn't
that what we do?  We absorb it and use it for ourselves, so it has to
change somehow, right?  'Energy can't be destroyed'.  I'm thinking it
can't be created, either.  If that's true, there's a fixed amount of
it, and all people do is change it from one form to another.  If
*that's* true, what Dad does becomes a local problem and all I have to
do is find a way to change it back, or send what he makes, somewhere
that needs it."

I rolled to my elbow so I could see her.  "Some sort of 'creativity
battery?"

"Maybe, Dad."

"You sound pretty dubious."

"I am.  I think that's part of what Muses are.  Sure, we're creative
on our own, but our job is really to get mortals to be creative again,
when they...  lose the ability to change normal energy into
concentrated creative energy.  That means we have to be able to do
that change, too, but normal Muses only do it on demand."

I sighed.  "You're going to have to rethink a lot about yourself.
Technically, you're not a Muse, since you're not supposed to inspire
anyone."

"I kind of had that figured out.  Maybe, I am, though.  See, what I
can do is affect the background directly, instead of affecting
individuals.  So, I can directly affect the local conditions that lead
to more, or less, creativity.  That would make me a generic Muse,
right?"

"I don't know, Honey.  I think whoever's in charge of the Muses, is
going to have to make that decision."

"Dad?  It's pretty simple.  When a new type of non-mortal is created,
whoever created then names them and defines who they are.  If you and
Mom say I'm a Muse, I am, no matter what my ultimate purpose is, and
how I do it.  If you say I'm not, I'm not."

I groaned.  "Ke?  Do you agree with that insanity?"

"Not completely.  The rest of us can offer opinions and advise you,
but ultimately, she's right.  We are a subset that enhances your
reality, so you define how we interact with it.  What you call us
plays a role in how the rest of the mortals think of us, but as you
already know, it doesn't always force us to stay in an assigned role.
If you decide we should change, we do, somehow."

"I wish I didn't follow that logic.  But, with two Muses, plus Kio, in
my life, along with incidental folks like Bruce and his bosses, I
can't see I have a choice about accepting the truth of being partly
responsible for the decision.

"I do have a serious question, for both of you."

Ke sighed.  "Ask.  Under the circumstances, no promises you'll like
our answers, if we have any."

"I'll take what I can get.  How far can we, as a...  family group,
bend the rules about that decision?  Can Myrto and I at least delay
it, and if so, is there an absolute deadline for it, before some sort
of 'default rule' kicks in?"

They were both silent, until Kio spoke thoughtfully.  "It might be too
late."

"Oh?"

"Yeah.  When people asked, Mom introduced me as her daughter, so she
wouldn't have to try and explain what happened."

"So people are already assuming you're some sort of Muse?  Any media
present?  They tend to show up when Bruce is out in public."

"No media, just lots of folks doing the facebook, youtube, and twitter
stuff."

She flinched, then sighed.  "Dad?  That was a heck of a flash, of
something."

"Creativity?  Ke, did you feel it?"

"I felt it, but it wasn't anything I could use."

"Sounds like assembling the pieces isn't something you see as
creative.  Sorry.  It wasn't creative on my part.  I think it's a
recognition of the inevitable.  Since the folks on the internet are
probably going to debate Kio's appearance and possible reasons she's
here, for a long time into the future, let's go with *that* and
consider her an 'Internet Muse'.  Kio?"

She had winced.  "Dad?  I'm sure glad you haven't been focused on me.
You were just then, and...  I was able to handle it, but I'm not sure
I want that to happen all the time.  It was *intense*!  So intense, I
have a feeling we'd better not try to change that decision.  You want
me to go online and...  admit that's what I am?"

"Are you familiar with the term 'spin', as it applies to public
relations?"

"Not really.  I can look it up."

"Just assume we mortals use it to justify all sorts of absurd forms of
'creativity', including outright lies.  Umm...  if you need to,
consider any lying you do, to be  'creative interpretations of the
truth'.

She giggled.  "Relax.  There's no code that insists any of us have to
tell the truth all the time.  If we did, we wouldn't be able to help
anyone create fiction, right, Ke?"

"Definitely!"

I laughed, then rolled to face Ke.  "If our food is ready, let's eat.
Believe it or not, I'm sick and tired of being creative!"

"Oh, sure.  You expect us to believe that?"

"No.  I expect you to act like you do, so you'll show some sense, and
try not to trigger more of it!"

She sobered, and spoke to Kio.  "He does have a good point."

Kio sighed.  "After what he just did to me, I could use the break. I'm
starting to think multi-Muse, non-standard relationships, should be
banned!"

Ke nodded.  "For the foreseeable future, they are.  I already made
sure of that."

"Good!  You want any help feeding Dad?"

"No, but I know you want to act grown up, so you can serve him
whatever he decides to drink, while I hand feed him."

"Spoilsport!  I was hoping I could change back to being Pixie, and
carry plates, then beg from both of you!"

"Maybe next time.  For now, you can stay a little girl and be winsome
for him."

"Yeah?  I'll be right back.  I want to find out what 'winsome' means."

She ran into the house, and Ke laughed.  "I think you're in trouble,
Glenn."

I managed a shrug, of sorts.  "I was in trouble, as soon as you
knocked on my door.  Is there some reason you encouraged her?"

"If she's going to live with mortals, she needs to know how to
manipulate them.  We'll work on 'winsome' for now.  Later, we'll add
'charming', then she can go out there and fine tune her skills as a
girl.  She's had the crash course in being a dog, and did pretty good
at it, so I'll leave that for Myr and Cerby to work on."

"Nothing for me to do?  I like it."

"Plenty.  You're her practice...  Male."

I groaned, then pointed at her.  "Feed me, Muse!  You can inspire me,
later!"
====

Ketaki & Kioko 003
---

"Dad?"

I looked up from my typing.  "Yes, Kio?"

Are you *really* ok with Mom and Uncle Brucie taking me to Hades with
them?"

"Sure."

"You smiled funny."

"It's a surprise.  Go enjoy yourself."

"I don't know...  Uncle Brucie said they're going to start teaching
Pixie how to look menacing.  I don't know if I can do that."

"Relax.  You'll do fine, and when you get back, we can collaborate on
a new story about what you did."

"You're *bad*!"

"Thanks."

She hugged me and gave me a quick kiss that was more serious than her
usual peck,  then she and Myrto vanished.

Ke started laughing.  "Non-mortals grow up fast, Dear."

"I noticed.  You ready to go back to work?"

"Relax.  What I divert, Myr will catch.  Kio is going to be so lost in
the experience, she'll forget to keep track, so keep that in mind."

I chuckled.  "Shouldn't be a problem, since I'm rewriting a user
manual."

I put my fingers back on the keyboard, and Ke stretched out on the
couch.

As my fingers stroked the keys, Ke sometimes shivered.  A few times
she moaned from somewhere deep in her throat, and when that happened,
I backed up and studied what I had just written.  Sometimes I adjusted
things, most of the time I didn't.

We broke for a light lunch, then went back to work until my end-of-day
timer went off.

We took a quick shower together, then I relaxed on the living room
couch while she started getting dinner ready.

Ke was setting the table when 'Pixie' popped into existence in front
of me, then she went human and settled on my lap before she kissed me
and pulled back  "That was *fun*!"

I chuckled and hugged her.  "I'm glad you enjoyed the surprise we
figured out."

She lifted a medallion from beneath her blouse.  "Look!  They had a
big ceremony, and *everything*, when they gave me and Mom these! We're
full members of 'The Order of The Grinning Skull'!"

She put it away, then she giggled.  "Satan is *evil*, but it's good
evil, ya know?"

"No, I don't know.  I should have figured it out, though, after
meeting him a few times.  What did he do, that has you being a
giggle-girl?"

She whooped, started coughing, then finally got herself back under
control.  "Bad Daddy!"

We grinned at each other, then she managed to sober.  "I got me a part
time job.  Any time I want to, I can go help Uncle Brucie!"

"That wasn't part of *my* surprise.  Is that all?"

"Nope!  They used a bunch of people who have to live in Hades, as the
honor guard.  Since Uncle Brucie is a Knight, they let him pick them."

She shuddered, and I pulled her close until her shivering stopped. She
leaned into me and spoke with none of her usual vivacity.  "Dad? They
were so evil, that I wanted to scream at them."

"Murderers, rapists, and people like that?"

"No.  Way more evil.  Plagiarists.  I managed to hide how I really
felt, and did all the stuff you guys have been teaching me to do.  I
was winsome and charming and cute...  And I absolutely *terrified*
them!  Oh, Daddy!  Thanks for the surprise!  You and Uncle Brucie and
Mom, and Aunt Ketaki and Satan and all the other folks, love me sooo
much...  I could just *burst*!"

I chortled.  "Maybe you should, so we can watch while you put yourself
back together."

She stared at me, then she got a faraway look.  "Oh, wow...  If I did
that in front of some plagiarists, I bet I'd feel real good....
and..."

I waited, then I stroked her face.  "What is my giggle-girl thinking
about, now?"

"She's thinking about having some *real* fun, the next time she visits
Hades."

I let my eyebrows rise and she smiled and nodded.  "Don't worry.  I
need to learn a lot more, before I try that.  Mom said you'd have a
surprise waiting when I got home."

"I do.  Only Muses hate plagiarists enough to call them more evil than
murderers, rapists and other folks.  As soon as dinner is over, Ke is
going to go have you put on the official list of working Muses. You're
a Muse, Kioko.  Definitely."

Her eyes had gone wide, then she whispered.  "I'm a real, working,
Muse?"

Ke walked over and touched Kio's face, then stroked it lightly.  "Yes,
Dear.  Cerby and I created the test, and you passed it.  *That* is my
surprise for you."

They communed in silence, then Kio shivered before she spoke.  I heard
traces of awe in her words, but kept silent.

"Aunt Ketaki?  You're not just a working Muse, are you?"

"No.  I'm also a member of the Muse's Supreme Council."

"Umm...  I just got a serious hot flash from what you radiated at me."

"I'm not surprised.  I lead the Council, and will, until someone
replaces me."

"It's *you*?!  You're who they talk about when they mention the
'Muse's Muse'?"

"Yes."

"Did Dad know?"

"He figured it out on his own, recently."

"He's *that* good?!"

"Yes, again.  He's also been patiently waiting for his dinner.  I
cooked, you may serve us, if you wish."

"Wish?!  Be right back!  I have an outfit I've been saving..."

Since my lap was empty, I got up and headed for the table.  Ke and I
hugged, then I sat down and she sat opposite me.

I was sober while we studied each other, then I smiled.  "If Satan is
'evil in good way', what's that make you?"

She smiled and looked at the hallway.  "Kioko's Aunt Ketaki, and quite
willing to spoil her!"

I heard some soft and very feminine laughter, so I turned to see who
had generated it.

I found myself studying a Japanese vision.

Kioko was about six inches taller, and her glossy black hair cascaded
down her back.  She wore a golden kimono, that I assumed was silk, and
it had symbols and sentences in assorted languages on it.

Her smile was unsure, so I nodded slightly.  "I see my giggle-girl,
has become a young giggle-woman.  You are very beautiful, Kio."

"Thanks, Dad.  It's ok.  Isn't his daughter always his girl, no matter
how old she gets?"

"True, and I know I'm supposed to be reluctant about admitting my girl
is growing up and has become a beautiful and alluring young woman. I'm
not reluctant to admit it, at all."

She grinned.  "Then you'll have to stay my 'Bad Daddy', since you
can't be a good one and do it right!"

I smiled.  "A role I will enjoy playing.  May I assume the symbols and
sentences on your kimono mean something?"

"They do."

She turned around, and the English version started at her shoulders
and went down her back.

I read it aloud.

"The Glenncannon Rules of Good Writing:
"First, tell the story.
"Second, practice, practice, PRACTICE!
"Third, if it doesn't help the story, delete it, and save it for one
it *does* help."

She turned back to face me after I finished, and whispered nervously.
"Daddy?"

"It is an...  Honor, and a *surprise* I never dreamed could happen.
Thank you, Daughter."

She put her hands inside the sleeves of her kimono, then did the
little bow that Geishas have perfected.  "Thank *you*, Father.  I hope
I will always bring you much honor."

She straightened, then she smiled tenderly.  "And now, we will honor
Aunt Ketaki's love for all of us, by eating the food that has become
part of her soul."

Kioko served us with a fluid grace that had none of her usual ebulent
enthusiasm in it.

We ate, I praised the food and the server, then, after dessert was
served, I gazed at Ketaki and raised my eyebrows slightly.  "You were
right.  Non-mortals *do* grow up fast.  Do you think she'll get too
old to properly spoil?"

Ke stopped eating, bent her head, then started sobbing tears of joy.

Kio flushed  "Daddy!  Never!  I promise!"

I gazed at her, and finally nodded.  "Good.  When you and your mother
are ready, she and I will spoil you some more, by adding to our
collaboration."

"The one that created me?!"

"I want you there, so we do not add to our family.  *If* all of us
decide to add a brother or sister for you, I feel it should be created
by me and Ketaki.  No matter when and how it happens, you will always
be our first-born, and we are proud of you."

"Wow...   Ummm...  I think..."

She passed out.

Ke studied her, then smiled.  "You did that deliberately, didn't you?"

"Not really.  I was just being as honest as I knew how to be."

"Just the truth, well said.  Good."

She faced me and went back to eating, and I joined her.  Kio was awake
and watching us when we finished.

She sighed.  "I think I'd better talk to some of my girlfriends at the
Mall."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, Dad.  There wasn't a bit of creativity in that and you knocked
me out with it.  What was it, so I don't sound like an idiot while I
try to explain it to them, to see if they can help me figure out how
to handle it next time?"

Ke laughed at her.  "It was love, honestly spoken.  All you can do is
get used to it, until you learn how to give it back to whoever you
feel needs it in their life."

"Like you and Dad did, when I found all those passed out Muses?"

"Yes."

Kio shivered.  "Aunt Ke?  Will it be ok if I go to the Mall for
awhile?  I'll do the dishes and stuff when I get back in about an
hour."

"Don't worry about it.  Glenn and I will deal with it all.  It will be
a way for us to relax and not be creative for awhile."

"I'm gone!"

We both laughed, then picked things up and did all the mundane things
a married couple should do after a relaxing dinner.

Instead of settling on the couch, we shared a lingering shower, then
snuggled in bed.

Once we knew we were settled, Ke started giggling softly.  "You ready
to deal with a 'tweener'?"

I kissed her tenderly before I whispered in her ear.

"Sure!  There have to be a couple of good stories in it, somewhere!"
====

Ketaki & Kioko 004
---

I think it was about a month after the first time Kio passed out, that
all of us were eating dinner after Kio did the serving, and Myrto
noticed Kio wasn't eating with her usual enthusiasm.

"Honey, is something wrong?"

"I dun.  I feel all confused inside and...  Sometimes, at the Mall, I
get way, way sillier than I used to."

I held up a hand to stop Myrto from saying anything.  "Maybe I can
help?"

"You, Dad?  That doesn't seem right."

"These bouts of silliness happening when a certain young man is
nearby?"

"How'd you know that?!  Oh!  I gave myself away, didn't I?  Am I in
love?"

"That's something only you can figure out.  I know, because I was a
young man, and there were young girls who started acting 'silly'
around me, when I wasn't acting silly, around *them*.  How bad is it?"

"Mom already gave me 'The Talk', so I know she's ok with whatever
happens.  What about you?"

"Are you really asking me if I'd be ok with you bringing him and his
parents over, so they can meet all of us?"

She nodded without saying anything.

"Check with Ke, and if that day is clear, we'll be happy to have them
here.  We won't do a special dinner...  How about a BBQ?  Ke and Myrto
can wear matching kimonos and do the serving, while you act as the
hostess and I do the cooking, this time."

"Umm...  Would it be ok if I invite some of my other friends and their
parents, too?  Lots of folks are pretty curious about how we live,
and...  I've heard some rumors, about the reasons I'm growing up so
fast.  I've tried to explain it, but I don't think I'm doing a very
good job."

"We'll see what we can do.  Just remember, our back yard can only hold
so many people, and if you want to be a proper hostess, make sure you
only invite as many as you can take good care of, personally, and
still have time for your...  Special young man."

She thought about it, then looked at Ke.  "Aunt Ke?  Will this
Saturday be ok?"

"Will that be enough time so everyone can order their lives enough?"

"It should be.  I'll make sure when I invite them.  If it's good
enough, can we do it again, if other people want to?"

"Let's worry about that, later."

Kio flinched, then she faced the living room.  "Uncle Bruce?  What was
*that* all about?  It sure didn't feel like you were thinking about
work!"

"I wasn't.  I'll do some checking, and see if we can get permission to
hold some sort of 'Interuniversal BBQ' at one of the dog parks.  Most
humans are curious about us, and a lot of us wouldn't mind an excuse
to meet humans in their natural habitat, so to speak."

"It can't be that simple."

"Worried?"

"A lot!"

"Make you feel better if your *other* uncles are here to keep things
under control?  My boss can cook a real tender and tasty rack of ribs
in a few seconds."

"Uncle Bruce, if you can..."

There was a puff and a man in a business suit was standing next to
Bruce.  "Be nice, to cook food, instead of people.  Tell Sir Bruce
when, and we'll be there."

He grinned.  "I play a mean fiddle, even when I'm not hunting souls.
Don't do that anymore, anyway.  We're overbooked, as it is, and have
lost souls stacked up like cordwood, while we work on the backlog. I'd
stay and chat, but we just got a new batch of suicide bombers in, and
they need my personal attention, before I turn them over to the lesser
demons."

He vanished.

Kio finally sighed.  "Ok.  Set something up, and when you have a firm
date, I'll pass the word."

Bruce nodded a head.  "No problem.  Your paramour up to meeting me up
close, yet, or should I wait for the BBQ?"

"Let's wait.  He'll be ok, since he enjoys tossing the Frisbees for
Pixie.  It's his parents that I'm worried about.  They're used to me
being Pixie, but having you that close might make them freeze.  Either
that, or he might do something silly and embarrass himself."

Bruce perked his ears at her.  "Silly?"

"Yes, Uncle.  Very silly.  He's a consecrated priest, and he might
toss some holy water at you and expect you to scream in pain.  I don't
think he's ready for finding out that it's like peroxide, and it just
sizzles and gets you cleaner than regular water."

He sighed.  "The misperceptions stick around far longer than the
truth.  Well, if he decides to give me a good bath, I'll thank him,
ok?"

"You wouldn't!"

"Wouldn't what?"

"Have Yahweh bless the pool, then go swimming in it!"

"Thanks.  I was only going to have him hand the gentleman the holy
water, and tell him where to toss it for maximum effect.  Your idea
about the pool sounds a lot more effective.  Don't forget to have your
swim wear on under your kimono."

He glanced at the living room clock and sighed.  "Time for me to earn
some more overtime."

He vanished.

Kio sighed, then stood and started collecting things  "I need to
think, so I'll do the dishes the hard way, this evening."

After she settled in at the sink I looked at Ke and Myrto, then made
shooing motions.

They both nodded and left.

I went over to the sink, grabbed a towel, and spoke normally.  "You
want to wash, or dry?"

"I'll wash, Dad.  Aren't you being pretty obvious?"

"If I'm being obvious, that means I've done my job right, and you're
growing up."

We worked our way through about half the dishes, then she sighed. "Ok.
Maybe you aren't as obvious as I thought.  How'd you know I needed
some shared silence, instead of the usual joking we do?"

"Same way I knew enough to get rid of your Mom and Aunt."

"Thanks.  That wasn't an explanation, Dad."

"It doesn't sound real good, but the truth is, you're half mortal, and
that half came from me.  What you're going through, is normal for us
humans.  You're also going through it a lot faster than we do, so...
you're entitled to feel like nobody really understands what's going on
in your head, because right now, as far as we know, you're the first
hybrid who was created by parents who both worked for 'good'."

She thought about it, and finally sighed.  "You saying I might learn
more from the hybrid demons?"

"Maybe.  They've already accepted you enough to make you one of their
Order.  Myrto 'bought her way in' by marrying Bruce.  Some of that
might have rubbed off on you, but I don't think that was what mattered
to them."

"Are we side-tracking?"

"Nope.  Not this time.  You're a Muse, and you're also an ambassador.
You're also a person, Kio.  And you're a young girl who is going
through some rapid changes that are messing with your head, right?"

"Yeah.  I'm used to the roller coaster rides others take me on.  Looks
like I do a good job of making my own rides, and I can't really
control them."

"Yet.  Talk to your friends.  Let your young man help you hang on.
He's been there, is there, or waiting for it to happen to him.  I'll
assume he's well past puberty, so that means he spent a few years
making his own rides.  It's not much right now, but it may be only
weeks or months, for you."

"You trying to give me some perspective?"

"And support, from someone you know will love you no matter who you
eventually become."

"Support?  How come you emphasized it?"

"Let's finish the dishes, then you can call your paramour, and ask him
and his parents to come meet us at the food court.  You two can take
off, and I'll be your Father, and see what I can do to answer any
concerns his parents have, while they work on dealing with mine."

"Yours?  Dad, you're so laid back, I don't think anything would shake
you up, any more."

"No?  You're my daughter, and you're having your first love affair.  I
know you need to do this on your own, and I also know I need help
letting go.  Who better, than his parents?"

She suddenly focused on me.  "Dad?  You're scared, aren't you?"

"Yep.  For you, me, and his parents."

"What about Mom and Aunt Ke?"

No.  They've been around mortals and seen it happen, lots of times, or
been mixed up in it.  I was never married, never had kids of my own,
and now, suddenly, I'm the concerned Father, who has just seen his
only daughter, whom he loves and cherishes, get involved with a young
man.  If there's anything I understand, and you don't, it's young men,
and what their hormones can make them do."

"I won't hurt him, Father."

"It doesn't matter if you love him, or not.  Eventually, one of you
will hurt the other, deeply.  I want you to introduce me to his
parents, then leave us alone, while we plan for that day, so we can
stay calm, while we help you kids put your lives back together, after
you find out how badly love can hurt two people."

"Always?"

"Always, Dear.  Think of it like tempering your soul.  It hurts
like...  Hades, but after it's over, and you catch your breath, if
you've handled it right, you'll know a lot more about yourself, and
those around you, than you ever dreamed was there to be known."

She handed me the last item, and after I dried it and set it down, she
hugged me tightly.  "Thanks, Dad.  I think Mom tried to explain it to
me, but I couldn't see what she was telling me.  You think he got the
same lecture from his parents?"

"Only way to find out, is to ask him."

"I will.  You ready?"

"Yes.  Let's go as we are.  They're family, now.  We don't need to
dress up special for family, unless we want to."

She made her call, my offer of a meeting was accepted, and she just
said 'Food court, the usual place', before she whispered 'I love you',
and hung up.

She wiped her hands off, then grabbed my hands in hers, and the next
thing I knew, we were standing under a tree in the parking lot.

By the time we got halfway, we were surrounded, and as soon as they
found out I was her father, I got barraged with questions.

We were almost to the entrance when someone shouted 'Kioko!  Wait up!'

She spun, then did a lover's run and hit the young man, then held on.
A couple who were close to my age were already looking in my
direction, so I waved at them and they altered their path so we'd
meet.

I focused on the kids who'd been questioning me, and smiled.  "Ok.
It's time for me to be the worried father who is meeting the parents
of the young man his daughter is serious about.  You know how that
works, right?"

I got lots of laughter, so I grinned.  "Right!  We're having a small
BBQ Saturday, so you folks can draw lots or something to help Kio
decide who she can invite.  I want to see some of you, and your
parents, ok?"

That got me a stunned silence, so I nodded slightly.  "And yes, you're
going to get a chance to meet all of her family.  You might want to
warn your parents that they'll have a chance to meet Sir Bruce, *as*
Sir Bruce, plus relax and visit with his bosses, if they feel up to
it."

By then the parents had arrived, so the kids parted and let them get
to me.  Both of them held out their hands, so we shook all around.

"I never did get any names.  I'm Ichabod Jack Glenncannon.  Some folks
call me Jack, others call me Glenn.  Once in awhile I hear Icky. Kioko
has special dispensation, and depending on how she feels about me, I
get to hear 'Dad, Daddy, or Father.  Pleased to meet you folks."

She laughed.  "We're Harriet and Glenn Blackburn.  Our son is Glenn
junior.  Some of his friends call him Blackie.  I hope you don't mind
being Jack when we're around."

"Not a bit.  Your call, about where we do the nervous and concerned
parents bit."

Glenn laughed this time.  "I suppose you want to get Junior aside, for
the usual stuff?"

"If you want me to.  This is my first time.  Kio got everything I
would have given him, and I trust her to pass it on, eventually."

I looked around and studied some of the kids who were still nearby and
watching us.  "Relax.  I was a young man, before I became an older
one, and then a Father.  I know how the hormones work, and I made all
the stupid mistakes.  I imagine Kio has already made some of hers, and
you folks have mistakes of your own you'd rather not talk about.  The
thing to remember, though, is that you've already made a lot of good
decisions, too.  Together, they make you who you are, and that is
what's important."

I waved a hand in the direction of the nuzzling couple.  "Someday,
they're going to hurt each other so much, they'll think they can never
make it right between them again.  When that happens, I'll be there,
to help them fix things, until they are able to do it on their own
again.  I think that's going to be true for you and your parents,
too."

One of the girls spoke quietly.  "What about Glenn's parents?  Even
though Blackie's in love with Kio, are they on his side, or theirs?"

Glenn sighed.  "I'm on God's side, Francine."

"That's a copout, Mr. Blackburn."

"I know.  Maybe I'll have an answer after we talk with Mr.
Glenncannon."

"Ok, that's fair.  Come on.  Let's get out of here and let them do
that parent stuff."

I spoke as softly as she had.  "Francine?"

"Yeah, Mr. Glenncannon?"

"God is officially one of Kio's uncles, and he will be at the BBQ
Saturday.  The Blackburns will be able to talk to him for as long as
they wish, and find out what his side is, ok?"

"Will Satan be there, too?"

"Yes.  Our whole family will be there."

"Awesome!  I hope I'm invited."

She looked at the Blackburns.  "Sir Bruce is the Three Headed Dog of
Hades.  Being Cerberus is his job, ya know?  Once he's off work, he's
a pretty nice guy.  You'll see!"

They all vanished into the Mall, so I watched my new companions, who
were looking pretty shell shocked.  "Problems?"

Glenn turned to look at the loving couple, and sighed.  "Lots of them,
all of a sudden.  Did I just hear you tell me that God and Satan are
two of your daughter's uncles, and they are going to show up at a
BBQ?"

"Yep.  They are Bruce's bosses, and they took a shine to Kioko.  Satan
has already started spoiling her, and I honestly don't know how Yahweh
is going to retaliate for that.  I do know both of them have pretty
off the wall senses of humor, so whatever he does, it will be probably
please and embarrass Kio at the same time."

"You talk to God, and he answers you..."

"Yeah.  In person.  Since it's your son she's got it real bad for, you
can expect him to want to get to know you..."

A hand touched my shoulder, and I sighed.  "You decided one of us
summoned you?"

"Yeah.  Since Glenn is mine, Satan will deal with Harriet, if they're
willing to have their thinking rearranged a little bit."

I nodded.  "We decided to save the first meeting with Sir Bruce, for
the BBQ."

Yahweh spoke easily.  "Fair enough.  Yes, Glenn, Cerberus is really a
Knight Errant.  You look a little out of your depth, so, since we're
intensely curious about you and your son, you now have special
dispensation to speak your mind in any way you wish, and it will not
affect your destiny in any way.  Same for you, Harriet.  Satan and I
routinely take on the other's duties when we have to, so, for now,
he's no longer role playing the fallen angel gig he managed to
volunteer himself for.  Call him...  Ishmael, if that will make you
feel better."

She giggled briefly, then managed to regain some control.  "Call him
Ishmael?!"

"Yes.  Cerberus is his cute and squirmy Knight."

Both of them goggled at him. 

He walked over and gently laid an arm across Glenn's shoulders, then
turned him so they were facing the Mall entrance.  "Come with me, My
Son.  I believe you wished to know how I feel in this matter before
us?"

"Ahh...  I..."

"Come, come now.  I've listened to your sermons, and you have never
been hesitant in them, or your prayers.  Out with it."

"Are you really God?"

"Good man!  Make me prove who I am!  Always question!  I like you
already!"

A floating glass appeared in front of them, and it filled with
something.  Yahweh reached, grabbed, then offered it to Glenn.
"Sacramental wine, unless you'd like something stronger?"

Glenn grabbed, took a big glug, then sighed.  "Good enough.  Jack
obviously accepts you are God, so that helped, even though you aren't
the personality I expected."

Yahweh sighed.  "Those folks had no sense of humor.  I tried, but they
just couldn't loosen up.  It's too late to do any quick fixes, so I go
with the flow, and when people like Jack show up, I go overboard
around them, because they go along with me.  It doesn't hurt that his
senior Muse is the best cook in two universes, as far as I'm
concerned.  That reminds me..."

He turned to look over his shoulder.  "We got the memo.  Ishmael will
do the fatted calf stunt while I provide the drinks to order.  Good
enough?"

"I get to focus on being the concerned Father?"

"Right!  Don't worry.  You're doing fine."

I spoke dryly enough that Glenn froze briefly and stared at me.  "You
don't know how much that reassures me."

"It wasn't supposed to.  I *want* you to get it right, and that means
nervous and jittery."

"Got it.  If anyone knows how it's done, you should."

"Thanks." 

He turned back.  "See how it's done when it's in person and we aren't
in a church, where we have to be formal about it?  Junior got any sort
of a job, yet?  Kioko's already working part time in Hades as Sir
Bruce's understudy.  That winsome and cute stuff she does as Pixie
really gets them screaming in terror.  With her help, we should be
able to process them faster, which means we can rehab the Lost Souls a
lot faster than we used to, so *maybe*, we'll finally get caught up
and be able to relax more often!"

Harriet watched them until they were inside the Mall, Then she studied
Satan.  "Well, Ishmael, or whoever you are, I have to admit God is
certainly overwhelming!"

"Thanks for not using 'overbearing'!"

"Was that all him, or is some of it an act?"

"Both, really.  We have to be able to adapt ourselves to whatever
image a person has, of us.  That's his way of getting the barriers to
drop so he can read the body language and be himself, while being
enough of the image, the other person hears whatever message it is,
that they wanted from him."

Harriet sighed and gestured towards The Couple, who were now holding
hands and headed for the Mall.  "That charming young woman, whom my
son is...  focused on, becomes that cute three headed puppy and works
for you, terrorizing people?  I'm concerned about that, quite a bit."

"Yes, she works for me part time, or, rather, she will, once she
decides she's ready to do it officially.  It was during a very formal
ceremony, and the situation was deliberately stressful for her, as a
test she wasn't told would happen.  She didn't let it panic her.
Instead, she fell back on what her parents had taught her to do, which
was be her natural self, who is a very winsome, charming, and yes,
cute when she's being a three-headed puppy, person.  The... unexpected
contrast, was terrifying to the people she met.  She had so much fun,
she asked if she could work next to her Uncle, part time, in the same
way he comes here to relax and be himself."

"I've never doubted that what you do is give justice to those who
deserve it.  Must you use such a charming young woman, to do it?"

"Afraid it will affect her later?"

"Yes.  Will she ever treat my son that way?"

"Deliberately hurt him, no?  Accidently, is inevitable, and if you are
honest with yourself, you already know it, understand it, and accept
that it has to be that way for your son."

"You are a hard person, Ishmael."

"Kioko says it a little differently.  She calls me 'Evil, but in a
good way'.  It's silly, but it's a hard job, and I happened to be the
person most qualified to do it, so I do.  When someone is qualified to
work for me, and they desire to, I do not hold them back from being
who they must be."

"I don't understand how Pixie's nature could be so terrifying, to
*anyone*."

"It's because you are lacking some information.  Kioko, no matter what
form she wears, is a Muse.  The honor guard for the ceremony was
comprised entirely of plagiarists.  Muses have a dislike for them that
exceeds most people's dislike for murderers, pedos, and the other
types of Lost Souls we deal with."

She decided to take refuge in the ordinary.  "Jack, you mentioned the
food court?"

"I did, and since I made the offer, I'll pay for it.  Ishmael's food,
too, if he wants to try and impress you with his table manners."

He laughed.  "Since I wasn't directly summoned, I'll absent myself
this time."

He looked around and grinned.  "Ok.  I know that you kids know who I
am.  First come, first served!"

It must have been a special signal, because he got mobbed and when
things settled two girls were hanging on to his arms and dragging him
towards the entrance.  "Come on!  They put in some new stores, and we
need some honest opinions, before we buy anything in them!"

I crooked my arm.  "Harriet?  Need an escort?"

"Hmm?"

"Escort.  Food court.  Free meal while we chat, if you want it."

"Oh.  Can I change my mind?"

"Sure."

"Is it always this crazy?"

"No.  Folks are used to Sir Bruce, since he's been adopted by the
Rats.  His bosses don't show up that often, so when they do, it's a
major event and then, yes, I've heard it gets so crazy, they have to
rein in the Rats.  They both keep track, of course, and they don't
mind kids who try to do stuff just so they can meet one of them later.
I'm betting that those folks will get processed fairly quickly, be
officially 'rehabbed', and sent on their way, in near record time."

She linked her arm with mine.  "A stroll.  I know a lot of those kids
from church, and many of them are so devout, it makes us nervous.  To
see them turn into a group of happy gigglers when Satan shows up and
notices them, is...  surreal!"

We started walking, and when we got to the doors, they were being held
open, and after we got inside, we were being escorted by a mostly
solemn group of kids.

Harriet focused on one of the girls.  "Francine?  Do you have an
explanation for all of your...  enthusiasm when you consort with the
Master of Hades?"

"You think it's wrong?"

"I do.  I thought you are sworn to His service."

"Isn't one of His commands that we should 'Love our neighbor as we do
ourselves'?  If that isn't enough, I have two more reasons."

"Two?"

"Well, three more, I guess, and I bet we could think of others.
Anyway, Satan does what he does, because he loves us, a lot.  He gave
up being an Angel, so he could do the job nobody else wanted.  Doesn't
it make sense that we should love him back?"

"He is the Father of lies.  Did he tell you that?"

"Yeah, but God was there, too, and he confirmed it as the truth."

"He was there, too?"

"Yes Ma'am.  They were on a recruiting trip, and answering questions
about what we might be doing after we graduate from here, and go to
work in the afterlife."

"The other reasons?"

"Umm...  I decided I want to be an Angel, so I'm practicing being
one."

Harriet sighed.  "Number three?"

" *He* told us to love Satan."

She looked at me, so I smiled.  "I was already living with a Muse, and
an Agnostic.  Sir Bruce was a regular visitor, too.  Plus, remember
the first time Cerberus was sued for causing an accident at the Mall?"

"Vaguely."

"Doesn't matter.  Anyway...  Yahweh wasn't joking about Ke's cooking.
After the 'Trial in the Parking Lot' was over, they stopped by to
relax and enjoy dinner with us.  I'm no longer an Agnostic!"

Harriet sighed.  "Thank you, Francine.  Will you and your friends keep
us company, while we stroll?"

"Mr. Blackburn is with Yahweh.  That first time can be...  mind
boggling, so maybe we should leave them alone.  Blackie and Kio are
already so into each other, they're zoned and would walk through a
fire without noticing it, so really, they're going to be boring.  You
guys are parents, and you're both worried, so maybe we should stay
close to Satan, so he can answer any sudden questions?"

Harriet smiled.  "It's what I was going to ask you to do, but for a
different reason."

"Oh?"

"Aren't we commanded to 'Know thine Enemy, as thyself?"

Francine smiled.  "And you want to find out if you are your own Enemy,
and Satan is really your friend?"

Harriet blushed, but she spoke firmly.  "Yes."
====

Ketaki & Kioko 005
---

When we got further into the Mall, Francine sent out runners, to find
out where everyone else was at.

Finding Mr. Blackburn and Yahweh was the easiest, because they hadn't
got past the food court.  They had sodas and a pizza between them,
while they sat on opposite sides of a small table.  Glenn was
gesturing animatedly, while he made some point.  Yahweh was focused on
whatever Glenn was saying, so we left them alone and kept walking.

Harriet smiled.  "Whatever it is, he'll tell me later.  I imagine
someone is taking a video, and it will go viral."

I chuckled.  "It may not.  That stuff is boring to the Rats, because
most of them have gone through the same thing, by now.  Right
'Spiderlegs'?"

Francine blushed.  "How'd you find out?"

"Kio."

"You're that close to each other?  That's...  real special.  Yeah.
Every time they show up, they usually find time to have an open
question and answer, then they talk to us alone, if we want to share
something or we have stuff we want kept private."

Harriet finally sighed.  "I think surreal is far too weak a word.  Do
any of you happen to know where his son is?"

One of the boys spoke up confidently.  "He and Rebecca stayed home, to
run things while he's here."

"Who is Rebecca?"

"His wife.  She's pretty nice, too.  Her cookies are the *best*!  Even
better than Ketaki's!"

He seemed to suddenly realize who he was near, and he grinned.  "Well,
it's true for me, and that's what counts, right?"

I laughed.  "Relax.  Ke's not that kind of chef, and she knows it."

He slumped with relief.  "Man, I thought I'd just blown it!"

"By telling the truth as you see it?  Might happen around other folks,
but not with me, that I know of."

He glanced back.  "Yeah.  I guess you folks have had some pretty
interesting dinner conversations?"

"Lots of them."

One of the runners showed up.  "Come on!  He's settled on the center
stage!  'Truth and Lies', *with* consequences, as soon as we get
there!"

Francine sighed.  "You guys go.  I got some serious responsibilities.
Get there as soon as I get there."

Harriet motioned Francine to her side after the others left at very
fast walks.  "Honey?"

"Yes, Ma'am?"

"Call me Harriet, or, if it makes you feel better, you can call me
'Twinkletoes'."

"Umm...  I better stick with Harriet or Ma'am, for now.
'Twinkletoes'?"

"Yes.  Glenn gave it to me in grade school, because I was taking
ballet lessons after school.  I got even though.  I started calling
him 'Death Grip', until he learned to quit giving me bruises every
time he had to hold me in the air.  Once he did that...  I think we
forgot about keeping score, and married each other as soon as we
legally could."

"You're ballet dancers?!  *Both* of you?!  For real, real?!"

"Yes.  'Truth and Lies'?"

"It's a game, but it's serious.  Best if you see it happen, because I
don't think I can explain it real good."

"Then let's go see what it is."

She stepped out, taking me with her, so I just matched her pace.

They must have been waiting for us, because as soon as we found a
place to watch from, Satan pointed at a young boy.  "Go!"

"A lot of folks know you as Satan, and call you 'The Father of Lies."

"Truth!  Again, or pass?"

"Pass!"

"My turn.  Kioko is in love."

He got shouts.  "Truth!"

"I'll pass."

He pointed at a girl, who glanced at us, then spoke softly.  "Mrs.
Blackburn doesn't trust you, yet.  Blackie does, though."

Satan raised his eyebrows, then nodded.  "I think she does, but isn't
ready to admit it, yet.  Truth about Blackie."

She took a deep breath and straightened.  "Consequence."

He nodded and pointed at Harriet.  "You're her Consequence.  One free
question, before you choose to tell the Truth, or Lie."

"This game is a variation of 'Truth or Dare'?"

"Yes."

"Satan, I have always trusted.  It's Kioko I don't trust."

There was a collective gasp, then silence.  "Well?  You've had your
Consequence.  Was she telling the truth, or lying?"

"You were right.  She trusts you, more than she does God."

"Truth!  You just earned a good karma point."

He pointed at me.  "Jack?"

"Someday, each and every person here is going to hurt someone, either
accidentally, or intentionally."

He smiled wryly.  "That was supposed to be my line.  Well, kids?"

"Truth!"

"Right!"

I grinned.  "I'll pass."

"My turn again.  I hurt Lost Souls, because it is part of my nature,
to do so."

Francine spoke before anyone else could.  "Lie!  You're no more of a
creep, than Sir Bruce is!  Consequence?"

"I choose Truth."

"Go."

He pointed at three kids who were next to each other.  "You, you, and
you, are trying to figure out a way to break up Kioko and Blackie."

The girl in the center nodded.  "Truth, and we'll accept the
Consequence."

"Explain your actions to your companions."

"When the time comes, we wish to work for you.  We are practicing for
that day."

I'd been watching them intently, so I nodded slightly.  "Truth, and I
thank you for it.  Kioko already knows she cannot be universally
loved, so she has been learning to deal with those who wish her ill.
I, and my immediate family, will not try to intervene."

Satan studied me, then nodded.  "Truth.  Hear my Consequence.
Cerberus!  Come!"

He appeared, then worked his way in until he could study Satan. "Yeah,
Boss?  What's on your mind?"

He pointed.  "Those three wish to work for me.  Thirty minutes in
Hades, as employees.  Fast track their application as preapproved, use
the rest of the time to let them get some on the job experience, then
bring them back."

Bruce walked over, gently grabbed one of their hands in each of his
jaws, then all four of them vanished.

Satan shrugged, then he pointed at Francine.  "Well, Spiderlegs?"

"You, Satan, are a huge fraud, and I love you in spite of it."

"Truth!"  He roared with laughter, and the kids joined in.  Harriet
looked stunned, then raised her hand.

He nodded.  "You learn fast, Harriet.  Ask."

"I don't have a question, I have a Truth.  You are Kioko's Uncle, and
my friend.  Because of that, I will trust my son with her, and be
there for him, no matter what he decides about his future."

"A Truth, *with* a Consequence!  Two good karma points, for a total of
three given out, and the game is over!  Let's go eat!"
====

Ketaki & Kioko 006
---

Harriet and I continued our stroll without our escorts, and she
finally pointed at the restaurant we were passing.  "The prices are
comparable to a good meal at the food court."

"Relax.   I'm not a starving author.  I don't think it's possible, for
a man with three Muses in his life."

"Thank you."

We settled, ordered, and while we waited, she studied me.

Eventually she smiled.  "Are you *really* that comfortable with your
life, yet as nervous as any normal father, about your daughter?"

"Yes.  Yahweh wasn't joking, about wanting me being nervous and
jittery.  But, He did know I was already that way."

"It's a lot different, when you can actually treat them like they are
'folks next door'.  I never dreamed Satan could make telling the
truth, so contagious, even when you know it's going to hurt someone.
That's what he was doing, wasn't it?  He was getting those kids to
accept that *anything* you say, has consequences, to you personally,
or to others?"

"Yes.  I bet you're going to get a lot of new kids in your classes."

"Oh?"

"Sure.  You told the truth, made it clear that it would have
consequences for both of you, and then mentioned those consequences.
Personally, I would have given you a triple score, but I'm thinking he
wanted to keep things low key, so those kids wouldn't start choking
about it.  It could get serious because of the competition, and the
messages would be lost."

"May I ask you some personal questions?"

"Sure."

"I have the impression, that what we call 'The Afterlife' is more of a
career change, or maybe it's growing up and choosing our life's work
all over again, than it is anything else.  In any case, 'what happens
next?', isn't anything vague any more."

"Go on."

"Thanks.  Have you done any thinking about what you want for a job,
after you die here?"

I leaned back and sighed.  "I have.  With all three of them at the
dinner table, or popping in and out, and sometimes venting about what
they have to put up with, I sometimes feel like Blackie probably does
right now.  'And what are *you* thinking about doing with your new
life, My Son?'  The best I usually do is brush them off with 'Relax!
I'm not after *your* jobs!'  "

She giggled, then studied me.  "When you're not brushing them off?"

I shrugged.  "It's a given, really.  I'll switch from using my
creativity to inspire my writing, to using it to inspire others to
write.  If the Guild accepts my application, I'll become a Muse.  If
I'm really lucky, Ketaki and I will be able to stay a team. Myrtoessa,
if she hasn't changed her mind, is going to put in for a transfer to
Hades, so she can be with her husband full time."

"Muses get married?"

"Special case.  She linked with Sir Bruce, then fell in love with him,
and he with her, so they got married."

She started to speak, then smiled.  "Look who showed up at dinner
time, like usual."

"Mom!  We've eaten, so relax.  This wasn't my idea!"

She slid over so he could settle, and I made room for Kioko.

She sighed.  "I could have called in Mom or Aunt Ke, but this really
calls for my skills and not theirs.  Besides, we really do need a
break from all our friends, and what's going on in the food court
right now."

Harriet sighed.  "What's Glenn doing this time?"

Blackie sighed.  "I'm pretty sure he's sober, but...  I kind of wish
he wasn't!"

She groaned.  "He's not!"

"He is, and *they* are encouraging him!"

"Oh, my."

"Yeah.  Do you blame us for hiding?"

"No."

She sighed and looked in my direction.  "Glenn usually saves this for
very private gatherings, when he knows it won't get out."

"You think it's going to go viral?  What is it, anyway?"

Kioko giggled.  "He's doing his 'Sermon on The Mount' parody, with
special effects generously provided by Yahweh and Satan.    Yahweh is
running that 'ask and we'll serve it' drink bar.  He's sticking to
non-alcoholic stuff.  Yes, he's wearing one of those silly outfits the
employees have to wear.  The only thing is, the drinks are coming out
of his fingers!"

I groaned.  "I hope they cleared that insanity with the health
department."

"They did.  They even got the permits from the Mall, to do improv
whenever they feel like doing it."

"Hmm...  That's new.  Sounds like there's been a major policy change."

"I wouldn't know, Dad.  Satan hired on with that 'cook it to order'
place, and is waving his hands and flash cooking whatever people
want!"

I glanced at my watch and sighed.  "Is Sir Bruce back?"

"Yeah.  Tell you about that in a bit.  Uncle Bruce is pushing one of
those service carts around, and acting like a vacuum cleaner and
sucking up any leftovers, when he isn't loading the dirty dishes on
it, or stuffing the trash in one of the trash cans."

"Anything else?  A good show needs props."

"Oh.  Nothing exotic, this time.  Yahweh created this giant soapbox
for Mr. Blackburn, then put him in old fashioned priest's robes and
gave him a lectern to pound on.  Just the basics."

She looked at Mrs. Blackburn  "Your husband has a real impressive
speaking voice, doesn't he?"

Harriet studied Kioko, then sighed again.  "He's had lots of practice,
to get it right."

"Oh.  I didn't think about that.  You ok with having us here?
Hopefully the media won't find us right away."

Harriet nodded.  "You mentioned something needing your skills?"

"Oh.  That.  You two are putting out so much creative stuff, that if I
wasn't here already and keeping an eye on Dad, The paramedics would
have been here by now, because of all the passed out Muses that would
have been in the Mall."

She sighed, asked for lemonade and a plate of appetizers when she was
asked, then she turned back to me.  "Dad?  This is getting silly.
Every time you get creative with someone else, your call changes, and
it's like you've never had a Muse in your life.  I'll be glad when we
figure out a reliable way to block that!"

It was my turn to sigh, so I did, then I focused on Harriet.  "In case
you haven't figured it out, When three Muses are involved with one
mortal, all the rules get tossed and it's new territory.  It just
happened, so we're the test case, that gets to find all the
consequences, and then work on ways to fix them.  Kioko is a solution
to one set of problems, but as she noted, her creation generated some
unusual problems, too."

"It sounds like it.  Have you been able to get any help?"

"Ideas, and we've tried some of them.  Most of the solutions seem to
be specific to us, or temporary, until I do something that manages to
bypass them."

"So I can cross a couple of 'omnis' off my list?"

"Yes."

Kioko interrupted us.  "Dad?  Whatever you just did, it was something
you've never done before."

"Truth."

"You!"

"Nope.  Harriet and I are going to have a quiet dinner while we talk
about you two, and the changes entering our lives."

She sighed.  "Yes, Father.  I'll be a good girl, Father.  When will I
know what triggered that flash of 'whatever-it-was'?"

"At the BBQ, on Saturday."

She sighed and looked at the door, then at Blackie.  "The booth behind
me is empty.  Let's move, so we can sit together and still eavesdrop.
They say eavesdroppers never hear anything good about themselves, and
I want to finally find out if it's Truth!"
====

Ketaki & Kioko 007
---

We were partway into the entree when Harriet looked past me, smiled,
then focused on me.  "You have an interesting daughter.  Were you as
bad as she is?"

"Probably at least as bad, even though I was at a disadvantage."

"Disadvantage?"

"I was a boy, not interested in being anything else, even at costume
parties, and that meant I couldn't do things like eyelash fluttering,
coquettish gleams, and other things that are the traditional female
weapons.  I also wasn't, and can't be, a shape shifter."

"Still, you managed?"

"Must have.  Got close, but managed to stay single, until Ketaki
surprised me.  She really didn't give me any choices about it, unless
I wanted a *lot* of out of work Muses converging on me."

"Oh?  How does that work?"

"Pretty simple.  Normal creativity doesn't do anything.  Think of it
like a general field that's always there.  Non working Muses only
notice when a mortal is blocked.  That 'call' is encoded, or
something, so only those Muses who are compatible, hear it and
respond.  Generally, it's first come, first linked."

"There must be more, but we can ignore that for now.  With Glenn doing
his pressure release stuff in the Mall, I have a feeling we're going
to be seeing a lot of each other over the years, even if those two
sets of ears decide they aren't right for each other."

"Obvious, are they?"

"Blackie is.  I can see there's food still on the appetizer plate and
he's making no effort to eat any of it."

We heard a giggle, so I made a comment to encourage it.  "With three
Muses in my life, two with permanent links, and one who can be a
conscious empath, I quit worrying about eavesdroppers, and Kioko knows
it."

That got a quickly smothered whoop of laughter, so I refocused.  "I'm
used to the antics, so if you folks would prefer to get involved in
any sort of...  creative discussions with the odder members of my
extended family, you can drop by and have them in a place where 'odd'
is a way of life.  I'm not going to make promises about what might, or
might not happen, if you get *too* creative, then stop being
creative."

She veered.

"We've always felt that...  Sir Bruce has been here to look people
over, and maybe do some harvesting."

"Not a chance, in that sense.  If anything, he's keeping an eye out
for people they can fast track at the right time so they can have more
help getting rid of the backlog.  The system was designed to handle a
lot fewer transitions, and with the population we have now, they have
no choice except to delay a lot of the processing, and that makes the
overall situation worse.  Time isn't really a problem, for them, but
they would like to be able to take more breaks, or get things back to
a level where they have enough people to handle the flow."

"That makes it sound like we've had it wrong, for a long time, or
there's only one...  processing center, instead of two or more."

"Hang on.  I need to consult."

I turned slightly.  "Kioko?  How much can I tell her?"

"Dad, it doesn't matter.  The best you can do is tailor it to what
Harriet is willing to accept, for now."

"Got it."

I sighed.  "I wasn't expecting permission to tell you all of what I
know, if I wanted to.  If you start to overload, let me know."

"Is Glenn getting something similar?"

"I don't know.  I'm pretty sure we're seeing the opening round in a
series of events that will introduce all of us to some major policy
changes.  For the first time in a long time, *both* of them are going
outside their usual working channels."

"Are you saying they might drop in and have some serious conversations
with high level church members?"

"Count on it.  I know Satan is getting pretty exasperated about the
rise in the number of folks who think suicide bombing will get them a
fast track into their idea of heaven."

"And God?"

"He's been doing what he can, but the system has tied his hands pretty
tightly."

"But...  He is God!"

"The buck has to reach him, before he can stop it.  Think of it like
there is a single door between our universes.  This is the primary
universe, and the other one is there to provide all the enhancements
we're familiar with.  Fortunately, He only has to deal with Earth.
Unfortunately, as folks pass through that portal, they have to be
screened so they can be routed to the right places.  It's not the most
palatable thing to say, but *everyone* has to pass through Hades.
Period."

She thought about it while we finished eating, then she leaned back
after we ordered our desserts.

"Everyone, Jack?  What about Saints?"

"That's a human ranking.  The best that can happen is that they do,
usually, get fast tracked and looked over fairly quickly, before they
get passed to Satan or Cerberus for the final call.  One call, they
stay in Hades for awhile, before they get another chance.  The other
way, they get passed into God's bailiwick, and his people get serious
about things, before they eventually get their chance to talk to
Yahweh.  It's a rat's nest of on the fly solutions, so there can be
wrong decisions made, or at any point someone can change their minds,
and *that* gets them sent back to wherever they should be in the
chain, so they can follow that routing plan."

"Isn't there a simpler way?"

"If there is, nobody has found it.  Oh, sorry.  I almost forgot to
tell you what the *real* bottleneck is."

"Oh?"

"Hades does have a purpose, and it's a very specific one.  It's a way
to get folks to be self honest about themselves.  Once they can do
that, and do it consistently, they're gone, and unless they decide to
work there, they'll never see it again."

Her eyes widened.  "So *that's* what 'Truth and Lies' is all about!
Catching people early enough that self honesty is a habit for them
later, which will make the screening process move a *lot* faster."

"Yep!  And as you saw, some folks, when they know what's going on, and
are honest about it, get *really* fast tracked, then given a chance to
see if they really want to do the jobs they've asked for.  When the
time comes, if they have enough of the right kind of karma points,
they'll get to see the bosses almost immediately, and then they'll be
told to get to work."

I felt a touch on my shoulder.  "Dad?"

"Yes?"

"It's about those kids Uncle Bruce escorted."

"Go on.  I can hear the pain in your voice.  Junior not taking care of
you?"

"Mutual.  It hit him pretty hard, too."

"Oh?"

"Only two came back.  Georgia lost her parents in a car accident, and
she's officially too old to be in any sort of foster care, so they
kicked her out of the system.  Way she saw it, nobody except us Rats
would miss her, and most of us would understand, so she stayed and
went to work.  Uncle Bruce made it so her body will never be found,
and she'll be just another missing kid."

I winced and spoke softly.  "Greater love, hath no child, who has no
hope, yet she finds a way to give hope to us all.  When you see her
again, tell her I said 'thanks', for her sacrifice.  Those who really
know what happened, will bless her for it."

"Thanks, Father.  You've always been good at finding the right words
for a situation.  We'll tell her."

"We?"

"Blackie wants to go with me, the next time they hold a 'bring someone
special to work with you', day.  I'm an employee, so...  I can bring
anyone I want to, with me, and they get a free pass in and out for
that day.  He understands we can't do anything silly, like a rescue
mission."

I managed to smother most of my laugh, but Harriet knew what I'd done,
and I heard a quickly smothered giggle behind me, followed by "You
want me to do *what*?!"

"Sure!  You'll see!"

I chuckled.  "Never mind.  I'll explain it to Harriet, instead."

"Thanks, Dad...  Uh oh...   I blew it! Check out the waiting area.
Both of them showed up!"

I looked up while Harriet turned enough she could see what we were
talking about.

She turned back.  "Everything looks normal, except for the two women
in the kimonos."

I smiled.  "It looks like you get to meet my *real* Muses, before the
BBQ."

They came over, Ke sat next to me, then Myrto smiled.  "I'll bother my
daughter, for now.  Oh, we have a message from Mr. Blackburn, for his
wife:  He's going to be very late getting home, so if she wants to,
she can leave without him."

She raised her eyebrows slightly, then lowered them.  "What's he up
to, *now*"

"Doing his job."

"Oh?  Should I worry?"

Instead of answering directly, Myrto reached into her kimono and
withdrew a Kindle, then handed it to Harriet.  "The modern equivalent
of tablets of stone.  Glenn got the other one, and he has turned it on
and started reading from it verse by verse.  After each verse, live
commentary is being provided, by the authors of the 'New, New
Testament'.

"I don't see, but I do have a question."

"Ask."

"Should I be there?"

"No.  You get to have time to read it, ask any questions you feel you
need answered, then it was suggested that *you* be the one to sit on a
stage you're already familiar with, so you may hold public bible
studies with The Rats.  Sir Bruce will be there, to help you when you
need it.

"Now, I will leave you alone, so you can get to know my daughter's
soon to be step mother, The Muse's Muse, Ketaki."

After she sat opposite Kioko and Glenn Junior, and started answering
the rapid fire questions they had, I sighed.  "I was hoping to save
that for Saturday."

"Wasn't *our* doing.  Two someones announced on national television,
that it was past time for there to be *official* mixed marriages, and
this Saturday, at a private ceremony, you and I will become husband
and wife, instead of Muse and Mortal."

I studied her, then sighed.  "And?"

"After the ceremony, we will no longer have to worry about out of work
Muses passing out on our lawn, or in our home."

I hugged her.  "I like it!"

"He assumed you would."

"I'll thank him for distracting me from being the no longer nervous
father, later."

I turned back to Harriet.  "Yes, this sort of insanity is normal for
us.  Looks like you got sucked in, too."

"You could at least sound repentant."

"Waste of my time.  Besides, in a few years, I bet you'll be 'Saint
Harriet'."

She turned her Kindle on, and after it finished booting, her eyes went
wide, then she turned it so we could read it.

The opening screen had a picture of a young girl who was standing next
to Sir Bruce and smiling.  

The words under the picture were simple ones:

"The Gospel of Cerberus is dedicated to Saint Georgia, a young woman
who chose to live in Hades, so others may reach Heaven more quickly."
====

Ketaki & Kioko 008
---

Everything at the Mall eventually settled and Harriet's once a week
Bible studies, using the New, New Testament, quit being news.

Sir Bruce's real status was a three day sensation, and then he was
able to go back to his casual Frisbee chasing when he wasn't curled up
on our living room rug or letting himself be 'walked' by three of the
'Rats'  who had somehow become his 'Disciples'.

He'd fought that battle like the Knight he is, then he graciously
admitted defeat and let it happen.  He did manage to get them to limit
their numbers to thirteen.  That caused some problems, until he
casually mentioned that he wasn't the only three headed Dog of Hades
around and if that wasn't enough, they were all literate, and Harriet
probably wouldn't stay upset if she was 'adopted' and some of them
took over the Bible study readings once in awhile.  Did any of the
Rats enjoy singing or being show offs?"

Since Harriet was there when he made his remarks, he got glared at,
then she sighed and told the Rats present that she'd get the permits,
and if she couldn't, she'd figure something out.

It turned out to be 'something', and Sir Bruce wound up in the middle
of it.

She opted to avoid making it faith themed. and simply titled the
result, 'Sharings', and held them in a roped off section of the
parking lot, that was away from the main Mall.

All were welcome, and those who wanted to perform, could do so, as
long as they kept things 'tasteful'.

For the opening show, Satan showed up with a golden fiddle and a 'Band
of Demons', then he and Yahweh, as 'Lies & Truth', did *their* version
of 'The Devil Went Down to Georgia'.  In a few weeks the recording of
the performance hit the top of several lists.

Not surprisingly, Kioko got mixed up in it.  The first time I heard
Pixie and Sir Bruce do a duet as the 'Hades Harmonizers' and they
harmonized with themselves, I finally had my excuse to call living
with them in my life, 'surreal'.

They did manage to knock 'Lies & Truth' out of the top spot, then held
on to it until things returned to normal, and public interest shifted
away from the 'Sharings'.

* * *

I decided to glare at the delegation that had showed up and cornered
me in the den.  "Absolutely *not*.  I'm vaguely aware there's some
sort of difference between an 'evil scheme' and a 'rhyme scheme'. Find
someone else to charm into being your songwriter."

"But Mr. Glenncannon, you'd be *perfect*!"

I leaned back and sighed.  "I don't think so.  I'm a prose writer, and
that's all I am.  I'm comfortable with that, and no amount of
atmosphere and inspiration is going to change that.  Even if it could,
you need those songs written by the end of the month, or you'll lose
that recording contract.  With my commitments, I don't have time to
focus on what you need."

Blackie sighed.  "Yeah, we knew that, but since we also know you're
pretty creative, we decided to ask.  Thanks anyway."

They turned away and one of them mumbled something that sounded pretty
forlorn.

I sighed.  "Hold it.  What was that mumble all about?  Was it
something that should have been spoken so I could hear it?"

The girl sighed.  "No, Sir.  It wasn't anything like that.  I was just
wishing Georgia was still around."

That got my interest.  "Oh?  She liked to write poetry?"

"Yeah.  All kinds of it.  She had a lot of pain inside, and that was
how she escaped, until she *escaped*."

"Was it really an escape, or was it a desperate grab for a future of
her own choosing?"

"Does it matter?  We'll never know, now.  Maybe one of us will see her
in the future and we'll be able to ask her."

I smiled, and Kioko, who was helping with lunch, shouted.  "Dad!  Will
you *knock it off*?!  Mama just had to brace herself before she fell
on the stove!"

"Special circumstances!"

I refocused.  "Have you forgotten one of you *can* go see Georgia?"

"None of us are suicidal, or expecting to die, Mr. Glenncannon.  I
think someone is cheating a little and keeping us healthy."

"Want me to check?"

"No, Sir.  We'll do it next time we see who we think is doing it."

"I'll stay out of it.  Did you folks forget Kioko is one of you, and
she *works* in Hades?"

I waved a hand negligently.  "Go talk to her."

They bounced out, and I grinned when I heard a scream of rage, then
Kioko showed up in the doorway.

"Father!  You didn't?!"

"Nice scream of rage.  Remember it for later.  Maybe you can use it at
work.  I sure did.  Your friends asked for my help, so, since I can't
do what they wanted, and they wished Georgia was still around, I
pointed out that one of them could go talk to her.  They couldn't
think of who that would be, so I explained my reasoning, then I sent
them to talk to you."

She finally nodded.  "This sounds like a good time for me to call in a
favor."

"Favor?"

"Yes.  Have you forgotten that I had to save your and Harriet's butts,
the first time you met, at the Mall?"

"A quibble, since doing it is part of your job, as a Muse."

"And part of *your* job, as a Father, is to help me when I have a
problem I can't solve on my own, right?"

"You're getting good at that.  Been practicing on Blackie?"

"Some.  Yahweh has dropped by and offered suggestions, a few times.
You know how it is."

"I was wondering how he was going to retaliate for Satan deciding to
spoil you.  What's the favor you want?"

"Uncle Bruce and I would appreciate it, if you and Mama would make
some sort of list of things that you'd like to see done to
plagiarists."

"You didn't need to call in a favor to get that.  We'll do it."

"I know.  Thanks.  The favor I want, is the next time there's a 'bring
someone special to work' event, is for the two of you to go with me
and introduce yourselves to the latest batch of plagiarists we're
processing, read the list out loud, then hand it to me."

"I see.  You didn't specifically say the list was the favor you
wanted. Satan been working with you, too?"

"No.  I learned it from you."

She turned and walked away before I managed to figuratively pick my
jaw up from where it had landed on the carpet.

Before I could turn back and start typing, Ke showed up.  "I've made
sure Kio and Myr will be here, when you and I work on our new
collaboration."

"Wise move.  Lunch ready yet?"

"It will be, by the time you save things and get cleaned up."

"I'll be there."
====

Ketaki & Kioko 009
---

Ke and I finished our 'collaboration' and both of us headed for our
shower, before we fell into bed.

I came awake to the sound of a low voiced argument, but before I could
find out what was going on.  Ke touched my lips and whispered.  "Shhh!
They're trying so hard, not to wake us up!"

"How'd you get past me, you little runt?!"

"Runt?!  Who decided that she should make her new body short, instead
of being average, or tall?!  Girls!  What is it?  You all take dumb
pills, when you have a brother?  I belong here, and I smell so much
like *you* that you can't tell the difference.  Maybe you should
redesign your nose, after you learn how to do your job right!"

"Hey!  I did my job!  Somebody must have found some sort of loophole!"

It got silent, and finally Kioko sighed.  "I hit a nerve?"

"Yeah.  Sis, you did it all, right.  I'm just pissed because someone
*did* find a loophole, and used it to intercept some stuff before it
got to you.  Let me wake them up, please?"

"Sorry.  Yeah.  They're your mom and dad.  You got as much right to be
here as I do.  No.  You got more, because my parents weren't married
when they made me."

"Hey!  Stop that!"

"What?  Upset because your first ever real hug was from your sister?"

"No.  Stop that stuff about you being somehow less than I am, because
the vow wasn't written down anywhere.  Dad and your mom were *linked*,
and that's way more important than that marriage vow stuff."

Ketaki finally rolled over.  "We're awake."

Both of them flinched, then Kio recovered first.  "Umm...  Thanks for
giving me a brother.  I guess we're both mortal enough to do the
brother-sister stuff, like full mortals do.  I'll go start breakfast."

She left, and the young boy sighed.  "I wasn't expecting *that*.  Hi,
Mom.  Hi, Dad.  I'm Carl.  Sorry about all that."

Ketaki spoke gently.  "Relax.  We knew it would happen, eventually.
You're our son, and family."

"Thanks, Mom.  Dad?"

"You're my son.  Can you figure it out from there, or did *you* take a
dumb pill, too?"

"Dad!"

Then he sighed and sat on the floor.  "Umm...I don't know how I know
it, but I know what my job is, already."

Ketaki took over.  "A loophole being used to close a more serious
loophole?"

"Yeah.  I'm scared, because for me to close it, I gotta stay like this
for a *lot* longer than Sis had to stay a little girl.  Maybe forever,
when I'm working.  I think I'll be able to grow up inside, then make
myself another shape for when I'm relaxing."

Ke sighed.  "Well, there's nothing in the rules that says you can't
make the body you have now, your working one, and you can have another
body for your normal one when you're being you."

"You're pretty smart."

"Thanks."

"Umm...  Dad?  Will you promise to be just a regular father, for me?
I'm gonna need that."

"You want to learn how to be an author, or should I make room in the
garage for a workbench, and some sports type stuff?"

He studied me, then smiled.  "Figured it out, huh?"

"Probably.  You'll need someplace to put all your 'special gifts',
right?"

Carl slumped.  "Satan told me you're fast off the mark.  Yeah.  I'm
supposed to keep an eye on the clergy.  Until there are more like me,
I get to be whoever I need to be.  This body is pretty generic, so I
won't have to change much, when I have to.  You folks going to be ok
with that?"

Ketaki sighed again, then spoke firmly.  "Would it help, if we start
having costume parties, so folks get used to us having a cross
dressing boy who is also 'cute as a button' when he dresses up like a
girl?  Of course we're ok with it, and we'll love you as much as we do
Kioko, no matter which body she's wearing."

Kioko appeared behind him.  "See?  I told ya!"

He flinched, then stood and hugged her.  "Yeah, you did, but I
couldn't make myself believe you.  Some of that was me, but I gotta be
slightly hard to get, so I don't blow any of my stings."

She looked at us.  "Breakfast is ready.  Be ok if I take him with me
after he eats, and make him an official Rat?  We got a lot of priests
and stuff hanging there and..."  She sighed.  "I'm too well known, to
be able to get close enough.  New kid, still learning who he is and
all that.  Should work, especially if he plays on us being his family.
Black sheep stuff, Carl.  Everyone expects you to be clean living and
all that, and you want to rebel.  Up to it?"

"Smooth, Sis.  Yeah.  I was designed to do that sort of stuff.  Shared
secrets, lots of private confessions.  You be able to be blind when I
start sending a different message than the one you're trying to give
them?"

"You ok with me taking mental notes, then passing them on?"

"As long as you do that 'put upon sister' stuff when we're in public,
sure!"

She held out her hand.  "Deal!"

They grinned at each other while they shook hands, then Kio looked at
us again.  "Breakfast?"

I smiled.  "Table.  Then all four of us can go to the Mall after it
opens, and Ke and I can play the giddy parents who can't see the
obvious.  Should you warn Mr. Blackburn?"

Carl thought about it, then shook his head.  "If he catches me, he
catches me, and...  I don't know how I'll deal with that.  Want me to
act like I'm scared, and afraid to tell you?"

"If you feel you have to, I'll be fine with it.  Keep in mind, he or
Harriet might figure out that you're only doing what you're supposed
to be doing.  You might get some help, instead of a lecture."

"Really?!   Hmm...  I wonder if they'd like to earn some good karma
points by pimping me..."

He suddenly looked up and blushed.  "Uhh... Sorry.  I thought I could
keep that stuff hidden a little longer."

Kio giggled.  "Come on.  I'll show you how the eating and stuff is
done.  I work in Hades.  I usually work with plagiarists, but
sometimes I take breaks.  I got some stories about pedos, and
priests..."

He looked at her oddly after she stopped speaking.  "Yeah?  That's
it?"

"We can talk shop after everyone eats.  That sort of stuff may be
normal over food here, but out there, it's not.  Help me with the
dishes, and I'll spill."

He sounded outraged.  "I gotta do chores, too?!"

"Yep!  Way it works.  You ever think about the fact two people who are
doing the dishes together, are gonna be close enough their bodies can
rub against each other and they can pretend it was something random?"

"You gonna stand there?  Or are we going to go eat?"

"Men and boys!  Stomachs when they aren't being rampaging hormones!
Come on, then!"

She turned and strode away, with him practically running after her.

We got up, got dressed, then Ke looked at me and grinned.  "Planned
Parenthood!  Hah!  It's just another way to say parents!"
====

Ketaki & Kioko 010
---

We drove to the Mall, and after we got out, Carl grabbed Kio's hand.
"Sis?  I've been thinking."

"Oh?"

"Uh huh.  I got all these ideas mixed up in me, but I do know I want
to dress up sometimes, and I want to make Mom and Dad proud of me.
There's that other stuff, too."

"And you're being creative."

"Yeah. Could you be Pixie?  That way, when we get introduced to
everyone, I can say I want to be some sort of actor who can play boys
or girls, because I like the idea of being able to do all of it. Then,
I can do the 'dutiful son' bit, and say I'd like to be a singer and
songwriter, because even though I like to show off, something in me
wants to write."

He looked at me.  "It's true, Dad.  I have this idea..."

I laughed.  "Well, I'm not going to get in your way or get upset about
how you decide to do your job.  And..."

I took a deep breath because something in me was suddenly angry.
"Relax, Kio.  I'll channel it later."

"New pen name?"

"Ke?"

"Wise.  Yes.  You were saying?"

"Carl, I'll love you no matter what happens, ok?  If you...  have to
grow up a little faster than boys should, I'll be there for you."

"Mom?"

"I'll be there, and probably love you even more.  It will be your
decision, and I will accept it."

He looked at the entrance and shuddered before he whispered.  "All the
world is a stage, and we are players upon it.  Sis?  Let's go get this
over with."

She changed into Pixie.  "Will this help?"

"Lots."

"Let's go meet everyone.  Dad?  Mom?  Meet you in the food court,
after the Blackburns show up?"

I glanced at Ke and she nodded, so I spoke soothingly.  "Sure, kids.
If nobody has volunteered to buy lunch for you, we will."

"Thanks."

They walked away from us and I watched them, then sighed.  "Ke?  I'm
not afraid for him, exactly.  Just..."

I shrugged and she linked her arm with mine.  "He will need us.
There's a group of clergy Kioko spotted last month, when she noticed
their 'creativity' had something in it she'd never felt before.  She
did some research in Hades, placed it, and decided that since they
weren't really her problem, she'd pass it on for others to deal with.
Apparently, Carl is her answer."

"And we're in the middle, again."

"Yes.  Let's go relax while we can, and when the time comes, we can
proudly introduce our eager choir boy to everyone."

"If he hasn't already made the moves himself.  That 'boy' was born
old, and I bet Satan helped that along quite a bit."

I stepped, and spoke wryly.  "Lets go see if we're good enough to
support the leading man during his...  first public performance."

* * *

We made our obligatory trip around the Mall.  Sometimes a few of the
Rats escorted us, but most of the time they didn't, except for
Francine, who stayed with us.  We were passing a fashion outlet when a
girl ran out and hugged both of us before she looked up and grinned.
"Hi, Mom!  Hi. Dad!  Some of them are helping me learn how to dress up
right!  See ya at the food court!  Gotta go!"

He ran back before we could do more than smile, so I chuckled while I
watched him get surrounded.  "Well, Francine?  What about you?"

She gestured at herself.  "My tastes are too plain, and I have given
my word, to Mrs Blackburn, that whenever you are here, and I am here,
I will be your escort."

Ketaki studied her, then nodded.  "We don't need one, and  we thank
you for your kindness.  Are you getting any good karma points for
this?"

"No, Ma'am.  Although, Pixie did tell me that later, I will be asked
to be a real Angel, while she and Ishmael are doing their jobs."

Ketaki drew her breath in sharply, then let it out.  "Ishmael will be
here later?"

"He is here, now, and Pixie is with him."

She pointed at a cluster of people.  "There."

We looked, and I sighed.  "He's here officially?  That's not good
news, for someone."

"Many someones, Mr. Glenncannon."

She was watching us when she tipped her head slightly, in the
direction of a small group of men and women, then raised her eyebrows
slightly, before she smiled.  "He and Pixie are relaxing while they
wait for the lunch crowds to form."

"Is that a hint, that we should get there early?"

"No.  the Rats are rotating in and out, in order to save you two of
the best seats."

"Thank you.  Ke, let's go find out what our cues will be, eh?"

"Of course."

We met the small group as they were walking away from a juice stand.
Pixie's left head held a cup, and her center head was using a straw to
drink from it.  She was busy, so I studied her medallion, then smiled.
"So Heinrich.  With you in view, I know she and Ishmael are serious,
today.  You going to behave for my daughter?"

"Ya!  Ya!  Mr. Glenncannon!  Is gut, we be Fathers together, right? If
I do good, will you read to me another one of those funny stories,
about what you'd like to do to people, if you weren't such an
honorable Irishman?  Maybe you could indulge an old man, and do
something with flames?  Flames are so pretty..."

Pixie let go of her straw, laughed and then spoke a little more loudly
than she really needed to.  "Patience, Heinrich.  It won't be long,
before we let you play with your pretty fire."

"Ya, Ya!  Fun!  Thank you!  You look so beautiful, when you are
outlined in fire..."

The skull's eyes shifted slightly.  "And you, my pretty Angel.  Will
you be playing with us, today?"

Francine knelt, lifted the medallion, kissed it, then pulled back
slightly.  "Perhaps, my handsome Heinny.  Perhaps Ishmael will seek to
test my faith.  You'd like that, wouldn't you?"

"A true test?!  Oh, Pixie, you are so *evil*!  A surprise for
Heinrich.  I must think about this.  My Angel is so beautiful without
the fire, so I must take some time to be ready, so she will be even
more so, Ya?"

"Yes, Heinrich.  Do not fail me in this!"

"Ya, Mistress!  No games this time!  I promise!"

Everyone in the group laughed, giggled, or chuckled, so I waited them
out before I held out my hand to the bright red apparition who held
Pixie's leashes.  "Hello, *Ishmael*.  A sleeveless t-shirt,  cut offs
and...  dress shoes?"

"I try to keep in touch with the latest fashion trends.  I was assured
that what I wear would enhance my manly image."

"I see.  I assume your advisors were female?"

"Yes.  Is there a problem?"

"Maybe.  Traditionally, a baseball cap with some sort of logo, with
the bill turned backwards, is worn by those in the know.  You need a
pair of dark sunglasses, too.  Black lenses, or mirrored, are best.
You don't have to wear them over your eyes.  It is permissible to hook
one of the arms so they hang in view from the neck of your t-shirt."

He smiled.  "Then, after you are finished with us, we will fix those
errors!"

"I know we are going to be supporting actors  Will there be special
cues we need to watch for?"

"Oh, no!  This is improv, and all of the stage direction will be part
of the action and dialog.  Go with the flow!"

"And enjoy ourselves?"

"Yes!  Exactly!  Even now, the leading man is being costumed, and his
costumers are working with him, so he will look his best for the
audience."

"We see.  Thank you, Ishmael.  If Francine is done charming Heinrich,
we will leave."

She blushed, stood, did what little she could to recover some of her
dignity, then gestured.  "Where to?"

I shrugged.  "Ke?  We can afford to buy some clothes appropriate to
the special occasion."

She thought, then smiled.  "The nearest formal wear shop, first.  I
need a tastefully alluring ball gown.  Then we will stop and get a
long sleeved flannel work shirt, Levis, and a good pair of work boots,
for Glenn."

"Yes, Ma'am.  There's a vendor who makes belts to order.  It's on the
way to the nearest store that sells work clothes...  Ma'am?  You're...
smiling at me like my mother does, when she's got plans for me."

"I got it right?  Good!  Have you formally sworn your life to God?"

"Huh?!  Oops.  Well, we talked it over in person, and all that, and he
asked me if I was sure if I wanted to be an Angel.  I haven't decided
which faith I want to use, so it was pretty informal."

"Are you still certain?"

"Oh, yes!"

"After we get our... costumes, you will take us to the nearest wedding
supply store, so you may choose your wedding gown.  If you want your
parents here, call them, and do not tell them more than the true fact
that you will be swearing yourself to His service, sometime during
lunch."

"Will you two...  reassure them?"

"What of the Blackburns?"

"They're good people, but...  sometimes their faith wavers, and that
wouldn't be good for Mom and Dad, if it happens in the middle of all
this."

"You trust us that much?"

"Yes, Mrs. Glenncannon."

"If they panic, will you be able to stay focused, and not let your own
faith waver?"

Francine smiled and bent her head.  "I have already passed this test,
many times.  Heinrich is very skilled, and he is very careful with his
'Pretty Angel'.  The flames will be real and my personal danger will
be just as real.  My God has reassured me that I will live a long and
healthy life here, in His service, before I am called to serve at His
table."

Ke reached, touched Francine's face, then gently raised her head so
they could study each other, before she spoke gently.  "Such serenity,
in one so young.  You serve him well, 'Pretty Angel'."

She pulled her hand away.  "Lead, and we shall follow."

Francine watched Ke for a few seconds more, then turned and pointed.
"Over there.  Will it be ok if I take Mr. Glenncannon to the belt guy
while we wait?"

"The party won't start until everyone is present.  Your way, we can
surprise each other.  Go."

We watched Ke enter the shop, then my hand was grabbed.  "Come on!"

We started walking.  "Plans, young lady?"

"You're good at that stuff, aren't you?"

"I've had some practice.  I have three *female* Muses in my life!"

She giggled.

She led me to the display, and when he was free to talk to us, she
grinned.  "Show him *The Buckle*."

He shrugged, then opened a case and pulled out a closed box.  "Take a
look."

I hefted it and nodded.  "Pretty heavy, for a buckle.  Made for a
man?"

"Yes.  What isn't solid silver, is solid gold.  There's a matching
brooch that's included in the price."

I opened the box, and after I recovered from my surprise, I spoke
softly, reverently, without looking away from the two objects.  "Saint
Georgia and Cerberus, on both of them.  I'll take them.  You pick a
leather belt to put the buckle on.  Just make sure the belt will fit
the loops on a pair of Levis."

"Sir?  Are you sure?  The price is $50,000, non negotiable."

I dug my wallet out and handed him my ATM card.  "Run it.  Debit.
Francine, maybe he'll understand if you tell him who I am, and who
will be wearing the brooch."

"Yeah.  You guys sure don't act like you have that kind of money
around."

She let go of my hand and faced her target.  "Greg, this is Mr.
Glenncannon, and he's buying the brooch for his wife, the Muse Ketaki.
Umm...  He and Myrtoessa are Pixie's parents."

"Ahh...  right.  I'll run this, and find a belt for you folks."

I finally looked up from what I held.  "I expect to see a twenty
dollar charge for the belt, on the receipt."

He sighed.  "All I wanted was a picture of you and your wife wearing
that buckle and brooch."

"Got a camera here?  Planning on putting it on a web site?"

"Yes, and of course."

I looked at Francine.  "I don't suppose any of the Rats are
professional quality photographers, and have their good cameras with
them?"

"Several.  Before, or after lunch?"

"During, then we'll come back here and do a quick posing session for
Greg.  Let him pick one picture for free, then he can pay for any
others he wants."

Greg sighed.  "Use Tilly.  She's good in crowds.  I'll pay the usual
rate for anything I want, ok?"

Francine pointed at a boy who'd been following us.  "I know you heard,
and I know you have it bad for her.  At a walk, go!"

He grinned and left at a walk that was so fast, Francine sighed.
"Almost..."

She focused.  "Well?  We sorta got a schedule we have to keep."

Greg flinched.  "Oh!  Right!"

After we finished, he smiled.  "Julia isn't going to believe me, until
the transfer hits her account."

"She's good.  So good, ask her if she'll do a commissioned buckle and
brooch, for the same price. Silver, white gold, and the reddest gold
she can find.  Whatever she asks for, up front.  I can have the
picture in your hands by the end of the day.  Same for the advance."

"Francine?  Is this guy for real?!"

"He's Pixie's father, and the Big Three are her uncles.  Can't get any
more real than that, right?"

"I'd heard, but...  you know how it is."

"I do.  Here comes his wife, so we gotta get moving."

Greg spoke hesitantly.  "Mr. Glenncannon?"

"Your camera ready?  Good resolution?"

"Always.  Yes."

"You got the exclusive."

Instead of meeting her, I let her get almost all the way to us, then I
grinned at her.  She stiffened, slumped slightly, if you knew what to
look for, then stopped and waggled a finger at me.  "Bad author!"

"Gotcha.  I wasn't being an author.  I 'm your husband, and I have a
gift for you."

I walked over and held the box so she could examine the contents.

"A gold and silver brooch!  How..."

She touched the brooch, then spoke reverently.  "Saint Georgia and
Cerby.  It's...  lovely.  I expect to meet the person who designed
this, soon."

She took it out and handed it to Francine.  "Will you do me the honor,
since my husband doesn't have both his hands free?"

Francine's hands were shaking, but she got the job done.  Ke took the
time to position it, then she posed for me.  "Well?"

"Alluring!  I also think every male in sight feels the same way!"

"Thank you.  Is this the young man you bought it from?"

"Yes."

She studied him, then she smiled and held out her hand.  "If the
person who did these, does commissions and can work from a photograph,
I would like to discuss a special work with them."

"I...  I'll let her know.  You might have to wait.  Your husband has
asked me to see if Julia will do a work for him."

"I see.  Tell her that what I plan is a late wedding gift for some
close friends.  The style and materials will be up to her.  The photo
will be of Cerberus and his wife.  Whatever her price is, as long as
it is a fair one, I am willing to pay up front.  The time she takes
will be up to her.  If she needs some help being creative, I have the
authority to send her a temporary, or permanent, Muse."

He sighed.  "I'll let her know, tonight, in person."

"Thank you.  Glenn, we must go get your new clothes."

"Right.  Francine?"

"Uhh...  Yeah.  Follow me!"
===

Ketaki & Kioko 011
---

Ketaki studied me after I paid for my new clothing, then reached and
rolled my sleeves until they were above my elbows.  "There.  I don't
think the Mall would be happy if we had you carry a double-bladed
lumberjack's axe, so you'll have to settle for looking ruggedly
handsome."

"If you say so.  I'm not going to ask for any other opinions, because
I'd like to keep feeling like everyone is focused on you."

I waited for Francine to come out of her trance, and finally she
sighed.  "Mr. Glenncannon?  You're an author, right?  I expected your
fingers and wrists to be muscular.  But your arms and shoulders, too?
I know guys who work out all the time, and *they* don't look anything
like you do!"

I chuckled.  "Yard work.  I do almost all of it with hand tools.
Hasn't Kio mentioned how old fashioned I am about that?"

She sighed again.  "She has.  I never thought about what it would
mean...  Physically.  I'm too used to thinking guys need to work out,
to get buff."

Ke was already linked to my right arm, so I bent my left one.  "Would
you like to pretend, while we go to the bridal store?"

She shivered.  "Mrs. Glenncannon?  May I?"

"There's no need to be formal about it, Dear.  Of course you may."

She linked her arm with mine, and the three of us started walking. She
pointed.  "It's not that far.  I assume you're paying for my dress?
Are you folks going to have anything left?"

I chuckled.  "Yes, we'll pay for it.  We'll have plenty left.  Except
for the essentials, we don't spend a lot, so the account sits there
and gets bigger every month.  It's been doing that for years, so
it's...  pretty large.  Then, too, the women have their own accounts,
and Kio's uncles do like to spoil all of them."

I winced as I thought of something, then sighed.  "Ke?  Should we help
Carl set up his own account.?"

"No.  We'll let him do it himself.  The process will help him adapt to
living with mortals."

Francine squeaked, then dug in her purse.  "I gotta call my parents!
Hey!  Do I get Bridesmaids?"

Ke smiled.  "Not this time, Dear.  Let's not risk distracting
Heinrich.  He has roving eyes, and I bet you know it!"

She giggled.  "Yeah.  He's been doing his gig for so long, it's part
of him, now."

"Hi, Mom.  Can you guys make it to the food court for lunch?  There's
going to be a special ceremony, because I'm taking my vows to serve
God."

"Umm...  Yeah.  You knew I was going to do it.  Oh...  Umm...  The
Glenncannons are paying for my Bridal Gown.  It's kind of like a gift
from all of them, ok?"

She looked up.  "Mom wants to know if you are buying, or renting."

"Buying.  Don't let that stop you from getting what you want, not what
you think we can afford."

"Right.  Mom?  Did you hear that?  Well, Mr Glenncannon said I can get
the one I want.  Oh, they're buying it for me."

There was a long silence, and then Francine spoke meekly.  "You guys
can pay for my lunch?  I gave my lunch money to Carl, to help him pay
for some new clothes."

"Well, he's special, and he didn't have any money with him."

"Thanks, Mom.  Love you and Dad, too."

She hung up, then looked at me a little belligerently after I
chuckled.  "I told the truth!"

"Relax.  It is not I, you will answer to.  Are you usually that facile
with your ducking?"

"No."  She thought about it.  "I'll...  Well, I won't kill her, of
course, but she's gonna hear about it!"

Then I felt her shiver slightly.  "Oh.  I bet what happens at lunch is
going to be...  A real surprise for some folks."

Ke nodded slightly.  "We didn't expect it, either, and we should
have."

Francine went all out, and it was in a way that said without words
that she'd already done a lot of dreaming, so we kept silent, and only
spoke when we were spoken to, until we had to discuss who actually
paid for everything.

Ke looked at me, then spoke firmly.  "I will pay.  Her outfit is
clearly a reimbursable business expense.  After things settle, I will
submit an expense report and see if He agrees with my decision."

I nodded.  "If He doesn't agree with you?"

"Then I will ask Pixie to smuggle home some more floor sweepings."

Francine giggled and momentarily destroyed the air of dignity the
outfit gave her.  "Smuggle?!"

"A game the people in Hades play with each other.  Whatever they pick
up is theirs, of course.  The game is to pick things up without
getting caught.  If they get caught, they have to offer what they
found, to the person who caught them.  At the end of their shift,
everyone displays their loot, and any trades are made, before they go
home."

Francine stared at her, then she sighed.  "That is...  weird.  I never
thought about what demons and people like that would do for fun.  It
does explain why Pixie is so good at stealing food and not getting
caught.  She gets way more practice than we do!"

Ke smiled.  "She has six eyes, Dear.  Spherical vision does help!"

Ke paid, and Francine pretty much floated back into the Mall with us.

She visibly preened when silence seemed to flow outwards from us.

The word got passed, and by the time we were headed down the aisle
that led to the food court, she'd been separated from us, and had her
own escorts, instead of being one.

Carl caught up with us before we got to the food court.  He was
wearing a simple blouse and skirt,and had his own mixed escort.

"Hi,Mom.  Hi, Dad."

We stopped, and he slowly turned in place for us.  "Like it?"

Ke hugged him.  "It's very becoming."

"Thanks!  Dad?"

"You look beautiful.  The advisors you had seem to be much more
fashion conscious than the ones who helped Ishmael with his clothing."

I put some warning tones in my next comment.  "I hope it's paid for?"

"Huh?  Oh!  That!  The Rats have a special fund, but we didn't need it
today, and Fran can have her lunch money back."

He jerked a thumb over his shoulder, at the adults behind them.  "A
bunch of those guys got together, after they found out I wanted to be
an interfaith choirboy, and now a bunch of us have matching outfits,
so we can all stick together when we ...  Umm...  You gonna be ok with
them helping me learn to sing and be a songwriter?"

I looked past him, then nodded very slightly.  "We've already had this
discussion, son.  We want you to be whoever you are meant to be, and
we will not interfere in your pursuit of that goal."

"Thanks!  Umm...  Some of them are willing to give me private voice
lessons, for free.  You guys be ok with that?"

I raised my head slightly and studied the people behind him, then
smiled.  "Let us know which ones, and we will...  talk to your uncles
and make the appropriate contributions.  We will also mention which
faiths are helping you."

I frowned and studied Carl.  "We will also discuss adjusting your
curfew times, if they interfere with your lessons."

"Thanks, Dad!  Oh, my lunch is covered today.  Would you believe these
guys actually argued about who would pay for it?  I guess my voice
impressed them pretty good."

Ke  laughed.  "Well, then, we'll let you get better acquainted with
your voice coaches.  Go have lunch with them, and later, we'll talk
about making arrangements so you can get to and from your lessons."

She made a shooing motion.  "Go!"

He left, with his new friends escorting him, and we watched them until
they made it to the food court, before I spoke softly.  "He did that
well, didn't he?"

"Yes.  Not a single word about our new clothing.  He was the perfect
picture of a selfish boy, who is totally focused on his own dreams."

I finally relinked my arm with Ke's.  "Come, my beautiful Muse.  Let's
go enjoy our lunch."

She managed to mostly suppress her giggles before she kissed my cheek
and whispered in my ear.  "And the floor show!"
====

Ketaki & Kioko 012
---

We got our food, then we were guided to some tables that had been
shoved together.  A couple I didn't recognize was seated next to each
other, and after we sat, the woman touched Ke.  "You wear your gown
well.  Are you Ketaki?"

"Yes, and the rugged man on the other side of the table is my husband.
To avoid confusion while we're at the Mall, most people call him
'Jack'."

He held out his hand after he wiped it off.  "Kyle and Trixie.  We're
Francine's parents.  We've heard a lot about you and your wife,
recently.  Your daughter, too.  Nothing was said about a son until
just a few minutes ago."

I shook hands with him, then smiled.  "A cross-dressing son.  He wants
to be an actor who can 'do it all'.  He just arrived in our lives this
morning."

"Oh?  Adopted, then?"

Ke smiled and turned her head slightly so she could watch Carl
briefly, before she turned back.  "No.  He arrived in the usual way,
when a mortal and a non-mortal are involved.   Someone, and I'm not
certain which of them, decided to use our combined creative energy to
create Carl, then send him to us.  Honey?  You forgot to mention that
he also wants to make you proud of him, by becoming a choirboy and
songwriter."

"True, but that doesn't matter to me.  He knows I want him to become
the best *Carl* he can be, even if sometimes I won't be able to tell
if the person under the dress is a boy or a girl."

They turned and studied Carl, then Trixie sighed.  "Do you think he
might be transgendered?"

"No idea.  We don't even know what his body looks like.  Are you aware
that hybrids are shape shifters?"

She shook her head.  "We know about Kioko becoming Pixie, and that's
about it."

I decided to veer quite a bit.  "Are you folks ok with Francine
dedicating herself to God's service?"

He sighed after he located their daughter and waved at her.  "We are,
mostly.  We were expecting a more...  traditional ceremony."

"Ishmael stands in for Yahweh when He can't make it.  Her oath will
not be tainted in any way.  I don't know which ceremony he will use,
and he might improvise something that is tailored to fit the
circumstances.  Whatever he does, when it is over, everyone here will
know she has declared who she will serve, in this life and the
afterlife."

They both nodded, so I went on.  "Has Francine told you that she asked
us to give you 'the talk', instead of asking the Blackburns?"

She sighed.  "She did.  She also asked us to not try and help her, or
intervene, no matter what happens. That's not very reassuring."

Ke touched her lightly.  "There is a part of the ceremony, that she
has been practicing.  The best way to think of it, is that it will be
a symbolic test of her commitment to God.  There is danger for her,
but the danger to the observers is higher, should their faith waver.
Please, do not try to help her.  I am not questioning your faith. It's
just that...  She has spoken with God, and he has reassured her that
she will live a long and healthy life, before she is called to serve
at His table."

Trixie finally nodded.  "The ceremony will be one that tests her faith
in some way?"

"Yes, and it will be tailored to how she sees her relationship with
God and Satan."

"Do you have any idea what it might be like?"

"Our daughter will probably be asked to reaffirm her own wows, using a
similar ceremony.  Considering Satan will be in charge, expect both
ceremonies to be...  spectacular in some way."

They studied Ke, then faced me and he spoke softly.  "I think you
folks are hiding something from us."

I smiled slightly.  "We are.  We know many of the elements, but we do
not know how they will be put together.  We will also be a part of it,
at the proper time.  It is not Satan, who is hunting souls, but...
others who do so.  The ceremony will send a message to those people,
we hope."

His eyebrows went up, then he turned so he could study Pixie and Carl.
"We have heard rumors, and... "

He shrugged.  "People quite often see that which isn't there."

"Hybrids don't mature at the same rate we humans do.  Satan is one of
our children's uncles.  We trust him to do what is right for them.  We
also trust him to help all of us become who we should be."

"That is...  an unsettling endorsement."

Ke laughed.  "He has no interest, in harvesting souls'.  There are
problems in Hades, and he is attempting to fix things at the source,
where they should be fixed.  Besides, in spite of his reputation, he
does not lie well.  The Rats and many of the people who frequent the
Mall know this fact, and do not hesitate to question him when he
speaks.   It is a game he plays with us, because he wants us to more
quickly become ourselves, here, and in the afterlife."

He looked around, then at his wife, who nodded slightly, so he
shrugged again.  "We are not the strongest faith holders in the world,
and we know it.  We will do our best to avoid intervening in the
ceremony."

Ke nodded.  "No harm will come to your daughter.   No matter how
things look, the event *is* being staged by a professional, who has
assistants who are quite skilled at what they do."

"Your daughter is one of those assistants?"

"Yes."

"Thank you.  Will it be ok if we ask questions of you during the
ceremony?"

"Of course."

"Thank you."

They went back to eating, and we started eating our lunch.

* * *

We'd finished eating, and were idly chatting, when Francine showed up.

"Hi Mom, Dad.  There's been a change in plans."

Trixie sighed.  "Nothing serious, I hope."

"Oh, no!  It's funny, really.  Mr. Blackburn, when he found out what
Satan wanted to do, pointed out that he's going to be using
pyrotechnics, so he's going to have to hold the ceremony outside.  We
have to wait for the fire department to get here, too."

"Pyrotechnics?  Will you be safe?"

"Oh, sure.  I've done this lots of times."

"Lots?"

"Oops!  Yes.  Pixie will be next to me, and if there are problems,
she'll keep anyone from getting hurt, because she does it all the time
as part of her job in Hades.  I gotta go help set up the sharing area.
See ya!"

Kyle finally laughed.   "For wanting to be an Angel, she ducks telling
the truth very quickly."

Trixie shook her head, then watched us.  "She did that before she
decided she wanted to be an Angel someday.  It sounds like her
euphoria is based on confidence, so it will be easier for me to keep
myself from causing problems during the ceremony.  Hearing that your
daughter will be next to her helps, too.  It's no secret that Satan
likes to spoil her."

I sighed.  "Sometimes, I wish she'd never met Sir Bruce.  If you think
Satan is spoiling her, *he* dotes on her, and has, ever since she
first laid eyes on him and called him 'cute'."

Kyle studied me.  "You're serious, aren't you?"

"Very.  She was the first person to ever do that.  I think the shock
addled his brain."

He sighed.  "Jack?  If we hadn't already heard some of it from Fran,
we'd be worried about your sanity.  Ours, too, because we were taught
that faith is a mostly private thing."

I chuckled.  "Being able to ask questions, and get answers in person,
takes some getting used to."  

I tipped my head slightly, in the direction of the clergy who were
busy with Carl.  "Some folks are still upset with Him, for deciding to
bypass them, *and* hand out another New Testament, in person.  They're
ok with it being a priest and his wife.  I do think they're a little
irked because the Blackburn's son is Kioko's companion, and in spite
of how he was raised, he has no qualms about being taken to visit
Hades so she can show off in front of him.  We've heard rumors that
some of the more devoted consider that an unfair advantage, and think
some favoritism was involved.  As far as we know, they haven't figured
out if they want to file an official complaint, or not."

Kyle turned, and I could see his eyes narrow while he studied Carl and
his new friends.

He spoke without turning, and I could hear a sudden hardness in his
voice.  "Your son is very beautiful as a girl.  Perhaps they seek to
consult with him, so they more fully understand their God, before they
do something they cannot be forgiven for."

"And a child shall lead them?  Well, he's pretty inexperienced, so I
hope they have plenty of patience while they help him learn what he
needs to know."

That got him to turn his head and he raised his eyebrows slightly.

I gestured at Satan.  "It is not *I* they have to worry about."

He mouthed a silent 'Oh!', when he realized what I wasn't saying.

I smiled at him.  "Whatever happens, will be as Satan and God will,
not as *we* will."

I stood and gathered our trash.

Just before I turned away, I let him see a fleeting grin.

"Ketaki and I are pretty certain that our desires have been noted--and
will be considered before any decisions about our son's future are
made!"
====

Ketaki & Kioko 013
---

Satan joined us for the stroll across the parking lot.

When I raised my eyebrows at him, he laughed.  "My life was a lot
simpler, back when I didn't have to get special permits."

"I'll take your word for it, this time.  It's probably a good thing
you had to move outside."

"Oh?"

"Technology.  Did you forget about the smoke detectors?"

He roared with laughter.  "I did!"

He held out a hand to our companions.  "You must be Francine's
parents.  I can see both of you in her."

He must have realized they were hesitant, because he shrugged slightly
and withdrew his hand when neither of them reacted immediately. "Think
of it like food coloring.  When I'm here, I'm as flesh and blood as
you folks are.  Back in the day, we needed a way to be easily
identified, so I...  Opted for something flashy, instead of the white
beard that usually signified wisdom.  The goatee is a vanity, and a
distraction."

Kyle finally reacted.  "A distraction?"

I chuckled.  "It helps people miss seeing the merry twinkle in his
eyes."

Kyle sighed.  "Is he right?"

"Yes.  Jack saves his lies for when he's writing, usually."

"Usually?"

Satan frowned, then smiled.  "Usually.  Today is a special occasion,
so he and Ketaki may indulge themselves and bend the truth more than
they usually do.  Have they managed to reassure you that your lovely
daughter is in no danger?"

Trixie spoke softly.  "Satan.  Ishmael.  Whoever you call yourself.
You do not reassure me.  Must you do this?"

He sighed.  "Would you have me go back on my word?  She has been
practicing diligently for this day.  She is in no danger.  Some
bystanders will be, should they over react to her apparent danger. The
test is... flashy, because humans expect it to be.  She has already
made her commitment.  What she does today is the way she chose to let
the world know of her decision."

He gestured at us.  "Personally, I wanted something a little less
public.  I also have other things on my mind.  The Glenncannons knew
this, and took advantage of my pragmatic nature."

Trixie pounced.  "Pragmatic?"

"Yes."  He pointed at Carl.  "My nephew is enjoying his life here, so
far.  I wish that enjoyment to continue.  Naturally, I have mixed
feelings about him deciding to consort so closely with the clergy.  We
are working on closing some loopholes, but they are not completely
closed, yet."

"Loopholes?"

"Yes.  We never intended for organized religions to think of
themselves as above human law.  Human based justice is supposed to
come first, then mine, then God's."

"I...  I was taught that God judges."

He sighed.   "I'm sorry, Trixie.  Everyone must face Cerberus, or me,
before God sees them, once they arrive in the afterlife.  For some, it
is a formality, but face one of us, they must."

I touched her to get her attention.  "As unpalatable as it is, he's
telling the truth.   What they do while here, is the only way they can
do anything to set things up so the process moves faster."

I smiled a bit sadly.  "It's no secret the we are proud that our
daughter works for Satan.  What many find difficult to accept, is that
Satan truly does work for God, and anyone who works for him, is doing
God's will.  There is a great plan, Trixie, and it's one we can
understand."

"We can?"

"Life in Hades is not eternal, except for an unusual few.  What Satan
and his helpers do, is help people come to terms with the fact one of
the basic tenets of most religions, is a human one, and *not* God's
will."

"Oh?"

"Nobody else is responsible for our actions.  Good, or bad, we will be
held responsible for them."

I pointed at the people who surrounded our son.  "We are not unaware
that many of those people work with children for selfish reasons.
Because of the way the current system is set up, they feel secure
about their ultimate destination.  They are about to lose that feeling
of security."

Ke nestled into my side and sighed.  "God, when he allowed his son to
come here on his self-chosen mission, hoped that the message of
accepting personal responsibility would be heard, and embraced."

She looked at Trixie and Kyle, then shrugged.  "Many did  embrace it,
but some...  Modified it for their own benefit."

Satan sighed.  "She is right.  After all, she was there, too, and...
She warned us that human nature being what it is, it was very likely
that humans would pervert the message into something they felt
comfortable with, then follow that."

He suddenly laughed.  "Ketaki was quite familiar with that tendency.
After all, *someone* had to be Cassandra's Muse."

It took a few seconds for them to realize what he'd said, then Trixie
turned to stare at Ke, who shrugged.  "We got along well with each
other, even though she didn't know my true reasons for being there.  I
took on the aspect of a young girl who wished to be her acolyte.
Eventually, I became her confidante and anchor, when the stresses
threatened to overwhelm her."

Kyle was looking at me thoughtfully, then he seemed to make a
decision.  "Jack?"

"Yes?"

"You *know*, and you're allowing it to happen?"

"I don't know.  My daughter does, and doing something about it, is not
part of her job.  She made the people who do deal with that sort of
thing aware of what she knew.  The answer was...  Unanticipated, but
elegantly appropriate."

Satan held up his hands as if he was fending me off.  "Not I!  He is
not pleased with how many people are using their service to Him, to
hide from human justice.  Your collaboration was...  a convenient
excuse to do what he has always wanted to do, and reward two of His
employees for their excellent job performance."

"I think I'm going to have a Father-Daughter chat in the near future.
Part of it will involve her desire for a sibling, and who she
mentioned that to over dinner."

He shrugged.  "You're a good Father, Jack.  If you'll excuse me, I
need to go make sure everything is ready for later."

He left, and I chuckled.  "Oh, I believe him when he says he didn't do
the deed."

Kyle nodded.  "So God had a hand in the creation of your son?"

"Isn't it obvious?"

"No."

"He allowed his son to come here and mingle with the people, while he
also attempted to send a message to the clergy.  My son is doing the
same thing, and I approve of his self-appointed mission, and will
support him to the best of my ability, as God supported His son."

I tilted my head back and glared at the sky.  "I *do* intend to have a
Father to Father chat with Him, the next time he shows up for dinner!"

A voice boomed out.  "Not tonight, Jack!  I'm busy, and Becky has
warned me about not spending enough time at home!"

I chortled after I lowered my head.  "Sometimes I don't mind having a
very personal relationship with Him.  It can be handy."

Kyle looked up and shivered.  "Was that...  Him?"

"Yes.  We've been trying to break him of that habit of being
theatrical, but folks do expect it of him, so he tends to keep his
hand in.  Now that I think about it, He was probably reminding some
folks that someone *does* pay attention to what's going on, even if
they seldom answer requests and questions."

We got to where the chairs had been set up, and Trixie studied Carl
and the clergy that surrounded him, before she turned back.  "The two
of you have done a wonderful job of hinting and ducking."

Ketaki spoke gently.  "Thank you.  Yes, some of those people are
pedos.  Our daughter knows who they are, of course."

"Of course?"

"She is a Muse, and it is part of her job to not only be able to
collect creativity, but also know what kind it is."

"And she's done...  nothing?!"

"Her knowledge is not admissible evidence in a human court of law. For
them to pay in this life, there must be the kind of evidence that
humans can understand and accept."

"Carl?"

"Yes.  Think of him as a catalyst, who will set up the conditions that
lead to human children being willing to come forward.  If that doesn't
happen...  consider him as the ultimate temptation.  Those who yield
to it, will pay the price in this life, instead of being able to do
penance and be absolved."

I deliberately met the eyes of some who were watching us, and spoke
softly.  "Absolution *here* does not mean that Cerberus, Satan,  or
God, will blindly accept human decisions about what they have done.
Deathbed conversion is a human conceit, and does not affect what
happens later."

She finally smiled.  "Good!"
====

Ketaki & Kioko 014
---

The fire department finally showed up, checked everything over, then,
after they were reassured that if things went as they should, there
was little risk involved, they stood back and waited for events to
unfold.

Personally, I thought their presence was a nice touch.

Satan moved to the center of the area in front of the seating area,
and shrugged.

"Most of you folks know the main reason we're out here, other than not
wanting to set off the smoke detectors in the Mall.  Francine Olsen is
going to declare her service to God.  Since he's still busy, and
Cerberus is working overtime, I'm left to take her oath of service."

He waited out the chuckles, giggles and laughter, and after it died
out, he held out his hand.  "Pixie!  I need your help for this!"

She strolled to him, then stood on her hind feet and licked him
enthusiastically, before she pulled her heads back  "Yes, oh
benevolent Master?"

He took her medallion from her neck.  "Impish one.  I need the loan of
your medallion."

"Sure!  Hey, Heinrich!  Wake up!"

The skull's eyes opened.  "Ya, Pixie?  We play now?  Hello, Mr.
Satan."

Pixie moved away and sat.

Satan held Heinrich so he could see Pixie.  "She is already pretty.
Make her beautiful, because she has to go to work, and we want her to
look her best, right?"

"Ya!"

Heinrich squinted, then a stream of fire shot from his mouth to hit
Pixie's center nose.  Satan moved Heinrich back and forth until she
was covered in fire.  "Enough."

"Please!  I am not yet done!  There is still the tip of her tail!"

Satan laughed, and this time it was his patented one, the one most
humans never wanted to hear from him.  "I think it should be black, to
match the hearts of those who think to hide behind their oath to God,
while they choose to serve *Me*."

"Ah, Master.  You are far more fashion conscious than I."

Heinrich spat, and a small glob of black flame landed on the tip of
Pixie's tail.  "Ahh...  My Beautiful Pixie.  You are such a vision of
loveliness.  It's a pity you aren't screaming!"

She laughed.  "Perhaps I will do so at work.  For now, there will be
no screaming."

"Ya, Mistress."  He winked.  "I will settle for some Lost Souls,
later."

"I'll see what I can arrange."

She stood, then bowed to Satan.  "I am ready to serve you, Master
Satan."

"You already do."

He focused on the audience.  "The fire that keeps her warm is harmful
only to those who lie to themselves.  She wears it to reassure you
that it *can* be worn here."

He held out his hand.  "Francine.  Please come forth."

She stepped out of the crowd and waited.

Satan smiled, and I had time to groan before he looked at me.  "Father
Glenncannon.  Please join us, and stand in for her True Father, who
is...  Unavailable."

"You lied to me!  We had an agreement that you wouldn't bother me with
that sort of stuff, or tell people I've taken oath to serve *both of
you*!"

He shrugged.  "It's your own fault, you know.  You created a vision of
loveliness this morning, then sent her to me.  She asked for you by
the name she uses in her heart, when she thinks of you."

"Hmmph!"

I stepped forward, and when I stopped next to Francine, I shrugged.
"Where do you want me?"

"At my side, so you may take her oath of service, if I do not convince
her to give it to me."

I changed position.  "Like this?"

"Yes."

He held Heinrich up.  "Well?"

"Ahhh...  She is so pretty."

"Francine.  Before you swear to serve God, you must first survive the
test of faith.  Agree to serve *me*, and I will see that you have a
long, prosperous, and very happy life."

She shook her head.  "Lies, Satan.  I do not need your protection, or
approval.  I will serve God."

He glared at her.  "Heinrich!  Let her have a taste of the beauty I
can give her."

"This is a true test?"

"Yes."

Heinrich spat and a glob of flame hit Francine in the face.

People screamed and a few of the clergy started to move towards her.
Satan pointed at them.  "This ceremony is not for you.  Intrude where
you are not needed, and it will not go well for you.  If her heart is
pure, she will not be harmed."

Francine laughed.  "Your flames warm my heart, Satan."  She
deliberately wiped some off her face, then put them in her mouth and
swallowed.  "See?  I make it easier for them."

"Again, Heinrich.  I wish to see a pillar of flame, with Francine in
the middle of it."

"Ya!  Ya!  Pretty flames!  Tall ones!"

This time he hit her with a stream of fire that started at her feet
and swept upwards until her entire body was covered in flames.

After he finished, Francine curtsied.  "Is that the best you can do?
These barely remove the chill of Satan's presence."

Satan spoke, in anger.  "Enough play!  You have one chance to get it
right, or I will ask Pixie to seek our joint revenge for your
failure!"

"I should fail, to feel her touch focused on me.  However..."

This time he spat once, and I could feel the intense heat given off by
the white flames that settled between Francine's breasts.

Francine spoke calmly.  "White, to match the purity of my devotion.
You have failed to change my mind in this.  I serve God, Sir."

Satan finally nodded.  "I have failed, and acknowledge your service to
Him.  Father Glenncannon.  You know what needs to be done."

"Aye, you old rogue.  I know what has to be done."

I kissed the palm of my hand, then blew my kiss at Francine.  "In the
name of the All Father, I accept your service, and will let him know
of it, the next time we speak to each other."

The flames went out, and after she got back to the crowd, she was
quickly surrounded by her friends.

Once the group headed for the Mall, and a celebration, I spoke softly.
"You counted on the increased creativity that my daughter put in
place, didn't you?"

"Of course.  Are you and your wife ready to have a chat with the
people who think to hide their hearts from us?"

"I think you should include Francine's parents.  They know part of
what's going on, but need some reassurance I cannot give them."

He thought about it, then sighed.  "I find it strange, that I, who
always assumed I would be the one used to frighten people, now do the
opposite.  I hoped for this day, but find myself bemused that it has
arrived so soon."

"Soon for you.  Thousands of years, for us.

Pixie moved to block us.  "Aren't you folks forgetting something?"

Satan laughed.  "Oh, no.  I think your words of caution will be more
effective, if your fangs are dripping flames."

She sneezed.  "I *knew* I should have excluded you from that zone of
creativity."

She turned, and we started following her.  I motioned to Ke, and
indicated she should bring Francine's parents with her.

Her eyebrows went up, then she turned and said something to them,
before the three of them moved to intercept Pixie.

* * *

There was a realignment when Pixie got closer.

Carl noticed, then turned to see what had caused it.  "Oh.  That's
just my sister.  Don't worry about those flames.  They're harmless."

He hugged her, and then looked around.  "See?  Satan lied, and you
folks bought it.  They're flames of truth, but nobody said you have to
say it out loud.  As long as you're honest inside, you won't get
hurt."

They took refuge in the ordinary.  One of them men faced me.  "Father
Glenncannon?"

"Yeah.  I didn't ask for it, and I don't belong to any specific
faith."

Satan chuckled.  "All men, women, and children, serve me, until
Cerberus or I decide you've earned the privilege of serving God.
Father Glenncannon has earned that privilege, many times."

Pixie smiled at them.  "He's telling the truth.  Carl?  They treating
you ok?"

"Come on, Sis!  Of course they are!"

One of her heads looked at him.  "I dunno, Bro.  Some of them can be
pretty creative with their lies."

"Yeah?  Good!  You gonna tell me which ones are the best at it?  I
need the practice, right, Dad?"

"You do."

"But?"

"Yes.  You know your mother and I are worried about the reports that a
lot of the pedos in the clergy have been good enough that they haven't
been discovered, yet."

"Yeah?  Maybe I should figure out who they are, so they can teach me
how to lie real good.  If they haven't been caught, that makes them
some of the best, right?"

"So you've changed your plans to be a choirboy and songwriter?  Now,
you want to learn to treat pedos and other liars who use service to
God, to hide their service to Satan, like they are normal people, of
good faith?"

"Come on, Dad!  You know it's not like that!  Aren't we commanded to
love *everyone*?"

"We are.  I'll leave it up to you.  Just remember, your uncles might
want to have some talks with you, about this."

"Are you done?"

I sighed.  "I am.  I'm slightly disappointed that you didn't use the
best argument for your behavior, on me."

"Yeah?  You gonna tell me?"

"We all serve Satan, until he decides we're fit to serve God."

He spun and glared at Pixie.  "No fair!  You excluded me, didn't
you?!"

"Get a clue!  I'm not always going to be around, to bail you out."

She used her nearest head to look at me.  "Dad?  Do the silly stuff,
so I can wear Heinrich again, and go visit with my friends while my
brother digs his hole deeper?"

"Be nice."

"I'll be nice, when I don't have to watch Carl be stupid!"

I kissed my palm and blew the flames out.  Satan rehung her medallion
on her center neck, then hugged her.  "Good job today.  Whose karma
point do you want?"

"Dad's, later."

He laughed and let her pull free, then he stood and we watched her
join her 'disciples', before all of them headed for the Mall.

He finally turned and studied Carl, then he focused on the group
nearby.  "As my nephew was told, I tell you.  All humans serve me,
until I say otherwise.  I must admit, most of you are doing exemplary
jobs, and I will see that you get some karma points for your efforts."

He turned slightly, and spoke to Francine's parents.  "See if you can
persuade Ketaki to cook one of her special dinners for you.  They are
the closest you'll get to Ambrosia, while living on Earth!"

He vanished.

There was an uncomfortable silence, then Carl sighed.  "Mom?  Are you
gonna be theatrical, too."

"No.  Go enjoy the rest of the day, with your new friends.  Glenn and
I want some time for ourselves, so the next time you see your sister,
tell her that I said both of you can stay out late today."

Thanks, Mom!  You're all right!"

He turned, and grabbed a hand.  "Come on.  Dad can be stuffy
sometimes, but once he's had his say, he leaves it alone, and won't
mention it again.  You'll have to bring it up."

They started moving away, and once the four of us were alone, I
shrugged.  "You folks have anything to keep you from wandering through
the Mall for awhile, while we wait for the media to show up?  If they
don't find us here, they'll just bother us at home."
====

Ketaki & Kioko 015
---

A sudden shout, followed by the woosh of fire extinguishers, made all
of us turn around.

I looked at Ke and sighed.  "Oops.  Kyle, Trixie, if you folks would
come with me?  I need your help, since it was your daughter who was
tested."

We walked over, and were stopped before we could get near where the
action was.  "Sorry, folks.  There's a hot spot that's refusing to go
away."

I nodded.  "We know.  We can deal with it from here."

Somebody shouted.  "It's getting hotter!  Hit it again!"

He sighed.  "As long as you don't get in our way, I'll leave you
alone."

I spoke quietly.  "Trixie?  Kyle?  Are you still ok with your
daughter's decision?"

She spoke for both of them.  "Of course we are.  What does that have
to do with..."  She gestured.  "That?"

"That hotspot is where your daughter was standing when she was tested.
There is only one way to put Hellfire out, and remove its heat.  Love.
Think of your love for Francine, then kiss your palms and blow your
kisses at where she stood."

They looked at the fireman and he shrugged.  "Lady, everything we've
done so far, has just made it hotter."

She sighed, then they kissed their palms and blew gently.

A few seconds later there was a layer of ice where Francine had stood,
and a silence that spoke louder than words.

I smiled.  "The ice will melt in a few minutes and the heat will not
get worse, or come back."

Ke and I linked arms.  "Come, Love.  There's no point in going home,
and I imagine there will be people who want to talk to us even more,
now."

I glanced at Kyle and Trixie.  "We'll be in the pub, hoisting a couple
of brews."

We got about twenty feet before they unfroze and hurried to join us.

* * *

After we settled,  and had a chance to get the first tankards dealt
with, Kyle and Trixie started to relax.

Trixie sipped at her second tankard and sighed.  "I've always wondered
what 'surreal' really meant."

I was leaned back, so I just raised my eyebrows at Ke.  She nodded,
sipped at her own tankard, then smiled.  "I'm used to it, of course.
Glenn would know more about the proper words, since he *is* an
author."

Trixie choked, then laughed.  "Maybe not.  His 'surreal' button seems
to be worn out."

I chuckled.  "Probably.  Living with three Muses and having Bruce,
Satan and God stop in whenever they want to eat a good meal, can alter
your definition of 'normal' quite a bit."

"Are we going to have to deal with any of that?"

Ke thought about it.  "Some, for awhile.  It's been a long time since
anyone declared their service in the way your daughter did.  After
that, I don't know.  She's not a Saint, so you won't have that to deal
with."

Kyle leaned forward.  "Do you think someone might decide to test her
with real fire?"

Ke looked at me, then back.  "It's always a possibility.  Fire is more
or less Satan's to control, but with God directly involved, I can't
tell you who would protect her.  If she's around, Pixie and Heinrich
might take a personal interest, too.  You can expect The Rats to get
involved if any of them are nearby."

"Vigilantes?"

"No..."

She turned and studied the doorway.  "We are about to have some
interesting company.  Don't let them get you upset.  We've been
through this once, already.  Apparently, someone didn't make the
policy changes they said they would."

"Oh?"

"Yes."

The waitress finally pointed when she saw we were watching her, then
the small group came over to stop and look us over.

I raised my tankard slightly.  "I won't say it's good to see you
again, but we did expect you to show up, eventually."

The man in front winced, then spoke carefully.  "This time, a human
child was clearly endangered.  I'm afraid..."

I spoke gently.  "No, you are gleeful, to once again attempt to assert
your mundane authority in a matter which is not any of your business."

I raised my voice slightly.  "Sorry to bother you, Sir Bruce.  I need
you."

He popped into existence behind the group, then pushed his way through
before he turned and faced them.  "Instead of making a scene here,
which is what you *intended* to do, let's go to my office so we can
discuss this matter, undisturbed."

All of them suddenly vanished and I raised my tankard in an ironic
salute to the vanished.  "To unusual family members."

I sipped, then set it down.  "It's out of our hands, now, and they
will bother none of us again."

Kyle studied where they'd been standing.  "Intimidation tactics?"

I chuckled.  "No.  Sir Bruce has rented a store front in the Mall, and
his staff keeps it open during Mall hours.  He took them there, and
will...  display his comprehensive knowledge of our legal systems.  He
has a very extensive collection of case law on his computer."

I chuckled.  "He won't have to go very far into the past, since 'Trial
by Fire' has been fairly common in our history."

He shook his head, then drank from his tankard before he spoke
slightly dreamily.  "Once I get my head wrapped around how things have
changed, I think I could learn to enjoy the new reality, in which God,
Satan and their employees walk the Earth and take a direct part in our
lives, instead of allowing humans to 'interpret' their words and claim
to speak for them."

Trixie's eyes narrowed, and she studied Ke for a time, then she
nodded.  "I think I'm figuring some of this out.  "This office in the
Mall.  Is it possible to get the truth about both sides, there?"

Ke laughed.  "Oh, yes.  Your daughter has been using it quite a bit,
recently."

"Hmmph!  Well, we did give her permission to keep secrets."  She set
her tankard down and stood.  "Is it safe to assume that I will
probably find at least one Mall Rat outside, who is patiently waiting,
in case someone needs their help?"

"I can do better.  Kioko and her paramour are out there, keeping an
eye on things for us, so Glenn and I can relax and not worry about our
idle wanderings affecting anyone else."

"Good!  I wish to visit this...  office.  I've seen a lot of churches.
I think it's time I learned what a true 'House of Satan' looks like."

She turned back.  "Stay here, Honey.  Maybe we can do some 'divide and
conquer'."

He chuckled.  "I was hoping you wouldn't drag me with you.  I like the
ambience here, and I have good company to share it with."

She laughed, then left.

Kyle watched her leave, then he studied the bottom of his tankard,
before he briefly swirled what was in it.  Eventually he leaned back
and looked at the ceiling, before he sighed.  "Father Glenncannon?  It
has been a long time.  Will you and your wife hear my confession?"

"We will."
====

Ketaki & Kioko 016
---

We were all having breakfast together, when Kioko sighed.  "Bro?
Problems?"

"Yeah."

"Tell your big sister?"

"In front of Mom and Dad?!"

"Sure.  They've been around awhile, you know?  Nothing's gonna get
them upset."

She glanced at me and grinned.  "Pissed, yeah, bit not upset,
especially with you."

"I dunno.  Might as well.  I thought it would be fun, you know?  Dress
up, pretend I'm a girl, maybe even become one, just to see what it's
like."

"I just heard a but."

"Sure did.  I've done it all, and they've done it all to me, or had me
do it to them, and yeah, they really get off on it, and so do I,
usually, but...  Sis?  They're terrible liars!  It's like most of them
never grew up!  Worse, they got this club, and supposedly they get
together to talk about what they've done, and what they can do next
time, or figure out ways to keep from getting caught, but...   All
they do is use the same lies they've always used. I think if you were
there, you wouldn't feel any creativity, at all!"

"There's creativity, Bro, then there's *creativity*.  Mom and Dad have
spoiled us, because they have the second kind.  Those pedos you're
setting up to get caught, have the first kind.  The first kind is what
most people have, so you'll just have to get used to it."

"That sucks."

"No.  It's good."

"Are you *insane*?!"

"No.  And don't you start helping them come up with ideas, or even get
creative when you do things to them.  See, if they like what you do to
them, they're likely to try it with mortal kids, and...  Get the
picture?  Besides, if you start volunteering stuff, they can say you
led them into it, instead of the other way, and a good lawyer would
have a better chance of getting them found innocent."  

He thought, then he sighed.  "Ok.  I can see that much, now.  But,
Kio?  Good?"

"Bro?  I got news for you.  When Mom and Dad make love, she's being a
pedo."

"Huh?  No way!"

"Yeah?  Convince me she isn't."

"They're both adults!"

"Oh?  What makes them adults?"

"Well...  their ages, I guess."

"Ok.  Mom is thousands of years old, at least.  Dad's about forty.  Is
he as much of an adult as Mom?"

"Can't be, Sis.  You got a reason for this?"

"Sure do.  Everyone here knows that just because you look about ten
years old, your head's a lot older than that, right?"

"Yeah.  I expected those folks to...  at least act their age."

"Really?  Are you acting yours, around them?"

"Of course not!  Oh!  I've been real stupid, haven't I?  People's
bodies and minds age at different rates.  Sorry, Sis, I should have
remembered that."

"Well, you're being mortal about it.  They usually forget, too.
Anyway, humans use the age of the body to define what's pedo, and what
isn't, right?"

"Yeah.  That, and...  I guess you could say they get pretty upset when
someone forces someone else's mind to grow up faster than it should
have."

"Not always, but we'll go there some other day.  When Mom and Dad make
love, or do all their other stuff together, they sometimes get pretty
creative about it.  Now, what do you think would happen if one of them
was like that with a kid?"

"Well, they do that stuff with the Rats and other kids, but that isn't
pedo."

"It isn't?"

"Of course not.  They aren't forcing them to do anything."

"They're helping them grow up, aren't they?"

"Come *on*.  They're helping, not *forcing*!"

"Aren't those priests helping you and the other kids grow up?"

"Well...  kind of."

"Kind of?  Can you say what makes their help different than Mom and
Dad's, if you ignore the sex stuff?  I bet some parents have already
talked about sex with their kids, and maybe even shown them pictures.
Are they being pedos?"

"Sis?  You got a real twisty mind."

"I know.  I have to be this way, because of the work I do.  It's
called 'getting inside my victim's mind', so I can tailor what I do,
to the way they think and believe.  You have to be able to do it, too,
or you're gonna make a lot of mistakes, and people who shouldn't
escape justice here, will.  They do that, Uncle Bruce and I will
probably get to deal with them, and it will take longer for us to get
them to see what they did here, as something that was very wrong for
them to do.

"We're a team, Bro."

"Yeah.  I see that, now.  Ok.  The best I can come up with, is that
Mom, Dad, and the parents are doing it more for the kids and their
future, instead of themselves.  For the pedos, it's really all about
them.  They're pretty selfish and self-centered."

"Got it!  Now, all you have to do is convince the other kids to see
that selfishness, so they will tell someone who can do something about
it."

"Sounds like you want me to be...  Hey!  Everyone knows Dad's some
sort of Father, and he listens to confessions.  And..."  He suddenly
grinned at Kioko.  "Hey, Sis?  You got your own disciples, right?"

She sighed.  "Yes, I do.  I didn't want them, didn't encourage them,
and they ignored me.  Worse, none of them think Uncle Bruce is more
deserving."

"Maybe.  He only visits here.  You live here.  Pretty big difference.
Makes you more real, you know?"

"What's that got to do with your grin?"

"Everything, Sis.  Everything.  You're not much older than a lot of
the kids, and you work for Satan, instead of God.  That makes it like
you're...  tainted, just like they are.  Not good enough for God."

"People see what they want to see, Bro, and it isn't always the
truth."

"Yeah, which is gonna make it a lot easier for me to get them to open
up to your minions, or even you.  I bet some of them want some pretty
serious revenge, in this life, and after all they've been through,
they don't believe God loves them very much.  Satan, though...
Everyone knows that he's the one who makes people pay for what they've
done.  He's real easy to believe in."

Kioko finally smiled, and I shivered.  "Ok, Bro.  Since I serve Satan,
I'll talk to my minions, and see about having them put in some sort of
special shrine at Uncle Bruce's office, so anyone who wants to, can
pray to Satan, Uncle Bruce, or me, to help them get their revenge on
people who have hurt them.  Get those kids to do that, and someone
will take it from there.  Good enough?"

"Yes!"

He finished his breakfast, kissed Ke on her cheek, then waved at me.
"I'm late for my voice lessons!  I better get dressed and run!  Maybe,
if I do that, I won't get punished very much!"
====

Ketaki & Kioko 017
---

We were having a family picnic in the back yard when Bruce showed up.

Instead of joining us right away, and stealing food, he studied us
before he sighed.  "Ok, folks.  My bosses are laughing like...  loons,
and not bothering to hide it.  When I asked what was going on, they
told me I should check in at my Earthly office for messages, more
often, and refused to say any more.

"I got the hint, checked in and...  made some phone calls.  Most of
them were to the police, and the rest were to some very surprised and
grateful kids."

He walked over, eyed the food thoughtfully, then grabbed a sandwich
and settled.  After he finished it, he focused on Kioko.  " 'The
Abject Minions of Pixie, The One True Bitch From Hades, and The
Faithful Keeper of Her All Consuming Hellfire, Heinrich'?  What
happened to 'The Disciples of Pixie'?"

"What do you think of their design for the shrine?"

"Tastefully macabre.  You're ducking."

"Without giving them details, I made some suggestions to my
'disciples' that I never wanted in the first place.  One of those
suggestions was, that if they were going to insist on seeing me as
some sort of spiritual leader, the more correct term would be minions,
and they should probably have a special place where they can pay
homage to me.  It should also be a place where others may ask me, you,
or Satan, to intercede in this world, instead of the next one.  They
took it from there."

"They were...  appropriately creative about it.  Did you have anything
to do with that?"

"I felt their importunings for my assistance in their endeavor were
suitably phrased, so yes, I did reward them for their new found zeal
as my True Minions."

He sneezed.  "There's only one kind of love that deserves that sort
of... effort, so I don't need to embarrass two of you by asking for
more of what led up to the creation of this shrine.  Since I am only
the messenger, I will let my bosses figure out who gets how many karma
points, and whom they should be from."

He stole some more food, ate, and then he sighed.  "Carl?  At some
point, you'll have to testify.  Perhaps they will settle for a
statement from you.  I'll discuss that with the authorities and let
you know if any decisions are made."

"Thanks, Uncle."

"You're welcome.  Before I go back and let myself be swarmed by the
media, I need to know when the one the shrine is dedicated to, will
make her first official appearance there, so she can give it her
blessing."

Kio sighed.  "I ran into that one, didn't I?  I'll need some time to
contact my minions, then assemble them somewhere so we can discuss the
creation of a suitable ceremony, and what would be the appropriate
attire for my 'Abject Minions' and myself.  Give us three hours.  We
might be there sooner, but don't count on it."

He smiled.  "Three hours.  I'll tell them you're a very busy person,
and you will show up as soon as you rearrange your schedule."

He vanished, and Carl stared at where he'd been.  "Sis?"

"What?"

"It really, really worked?"

"Yeah.  You better start thinking about what you want your next
working body to look like."

"So you think I can let this one grow up?"

"Yes."

"That will be nice."

Kioko finally turned and studied Myrto.  "Mother?  I'm sorry.  It
really should have been you."

"Nonsense.  I'm a Muse, not a Minion.  If you feel guilty, I'll settle
for being recognized as your mother.  That's all the recognition I
need."

Kio giggled.  "You don't want much, do you?"

"Not really.  Let us know when you think it would be appropriate for
Glenn and me to show up and be your proud and loving parents."

Kio narrowed her eyes and studied her mother.  "You're up to
something."

"I'm feeding off your father's creativity."

"I can't feel anything, so it can't be too serious."

She stood, stretched, then headed for the house.  "I need to call
everyone so we can figure out what we want to do about this."

After she was gone, I leaned back and smiled.  "Smooth, Myrto.  I do
believe she didn't think of the possibility that you and Ke were
absorbing all of my creativity."

Myrto giggled.  "A goddess needs to be properly receptive, when she
receives the adulation of her minions."

Carl looked at us, then smiled.  "You set Sis up for something?"

Myrto shook her head.  "No.  She did fine on her own.  It was a
distraction, so she would forget to ask you to help."

"Oh?"

"Yes.  Go warn your uncle that the two of you are to be very serious
and formal when she and her minions show up, then stay with him so you
can explain your part in this.  Also warn him that I think it is
inevitable that someone will file charges against us for deliberately
endangering a minor, by allowing you to continue to be around those
clergy, even though we knew some of them are pedos."

"It was a sting!"

"Of course it was.  But, making the laws of God less important than
man's, works both ways.  Let Bruce worry about it."

"Ok.  Anything else?"

"No digs, when your sister shows up.  Be respectful."

"Got it."

He vanished.

Myrto looked at Ke and raised her eyebrows.

Ke nodded.  "We should have time to finfish eating, before she
returns."

"Agreed.  I think we should stay where we are, and relax.  Maybe we
should have Glenn help us practice our giggling, while we help *him*,
work on his laughter."

I leaned, put some salad on my plate, then chuckled.  "I'm looking
forward to the experience."
====

Ketaki & Kioko 018
---

After the coverage of Pixie's first live interview ended, I sighed.
"That, Ladies, was...  interesting to watch."

Ke and Myrto snuggled closer, then Myrto sighed.  "Bruce did what he
could to set things up for them, but all of them had to do the rest.
Those are some pretty experienced reporters, and Pixie and Karen
managed to take over and keep them off balance.  That's not easy to
do."

Ke laughed.  "Everyone's Mall Puppy has some pretty impressive teeth,
doesn't she?  That silly stuff that Karen did with the laser pointer
was brilliant."

I chuckled.  "What impressed me was how twelve kids could stand there
and radiate such intense indifference to things, yet seem ready to
protect Pixie at all costs, if they had to.  People in bathrobes and
plastic skull masks, should not be able to make it look like they are
wearing...  the finest ceremonial clothing that money could possibly
buy."

Ke spoke thoughtfully.  "Was it that much different than what is
normal in many cultures?  Ordinary people often take on a different
aspect, for ceremonial occasions.  Perhaps civilized people aren't as
far from their roots as many want to believe."

I snorted.  "Well, it doesn't matter if the kids really believed
things, or not, because they made those reporters believe in them, and
that's something I know we need more of."

"Inside information?"

"That, and common sense.  There's a lot of spiritual energy out there,
and it needs to be focused on things that benefit us all, instead of
being used for purposeless destruction."

Myrto touched my hand and traced the back of it.  "So...  is our
daughter stumbling into her purpose, finally?"

"I don't know what her purpose is, Myrto, but I do think it's obvious
she's rapidly approaching a major choice of some sort."

"And her friends, Honey.  They've declared themselves to be in her
service, in spite of knowing who she has sworn to serve.  I think that
once things slow down, they're going to be intimately aware that even
decisions made in fun, can have serious consequences for them, and the
people around them."

"True.  On the plus side, the pedos in the clergy have been served
notice in a way that won't let them sleep easy, I bet."

Ke giggled.  "Cerby was *so* sadly serious about it!"

I chortled.  "If you didn't pay attention to the message his tail and
posture were sending.  He's *delighted* that those folks are going to
be dealt with here, finally, so the kids can get some real closure.
That's going to make a huge difference, later."

"Maybe that helped people take her and her minions, seriously."

I smiled.   "Could be.  It was pretty obvious that she and her minions
don't like child abusers.  They all made it obvious that in spite of
how they looked, they were serious, and Pixie is definitely a primed
cannon waiting to have an excuse to go off.  That was a fantastic
touch, when Karen put that stuff in about some of the people there
someday facing Pixie, to be judged."

Mryto nodded.  "It was a joint effort to create the pieces, but they
had to make those pieces fit together.  They've earned a well done,
from all of us."

Ke leaned to look past me.  "A picnic in the orchard, soon?"

"Yes."

* * *

Bruce lit the fire in the grill for us, and then he faced all the
kids.  "It's official.  Well done, all of you.  Now, relax, and do
whatever, while you're waiting for the food to cook."

Karen gathered a vote with her eyes, then she turned back.  "Thanks,
Sir Bruce.  I know it's a little silly sounding, but that means a lot
to us, since it's from you."

His ears perked at her.  "Oh?  I'm mostly the messenger, but I'm also
personally pleased, since I know what it's like to find yourself
suddenly on the spot, like that."

"Oh?"

"Sure, an' if one of ye lasses would be havin' mercy on an' ol' dawg,
ye might be thinkin' about usin' some of them poppers like they was
grapes, to be primin' tha pump, before I tell ye all about it."

He got hand fed a couple poppers from each of the girls, then he
settled on his haunches and chuckled

"It be a right strange story, but it be true, mostly.  Be hard ta
dress this one up, since I thought I'd never see something as absurd
as me gettin' Knighted, but I have ta admit, you folks managed the
task, and did it right well, too."

* * *

The battle was over, the priest had sent the souls of the fallen to
Heaven or Hell, as appropriate, then the survivors trooped back to
their camps to relax, before the 'Idiot in Charge' decided where
they'd go next.

Sir Rob O'Rourke was idly scratching one of his armpits while his camp
follower was hand feeding him some food while some of the others were
attending to his wounds and making noises about his bravery, which
truth to tell, was more a sense of security helped by the fact he had
worn good, blessed armor, while his opponents had been wearing
leather, and little enough of that.

"Ah!  That feels good!  There's nothing more vexing than to get an
itch in the middle of a stroke.  Throws my timing off, every time.
What say you, Friend Bruce?"

His battle companion turned one of his heads so he could study the man
next to him. After he dutifully ate the chunk of meat one of his
attendants hand fed him, he laughed.  "Don't get them.  I remember to
take my weekly bath.  Don't have armpits, either."

"Legpits, or whatever.  You know, for a three-headed dog who claims
he's from Hades, you're a good man to have around."

"Thanks."

Bruce rolled to his back and wiggled, which caused the women and girls
around him to giggle, and him to groan with pleasure.

After he stilled, he laid all of his heads back so he was stretched
out to his full ten foot length.  "First come, first served.  Who
wants to scratch me and get rid of my itches?"

There was a chorus of giggles, then he was surrounded and hands
started working him over.  Sometimes one would stop moving and he'd
raise his head slightly to mock glare at the offending person.
"Continue, or I shall burn you with the Hellfire that flows from my
eyes!"

If the person was close enough, they'd lean over and kiss one of his
noses.  "Brucie, your gaze burns me whenever it touches me.  Save your
Hellfire for those who have earned it for a better reason than their
arm is tired!"

Rob laughed, then reached for his tankard and drank from it.  "Brucie,
is it?  What's your boss think of your games?"

"He's jealous, because I get to relax more often than he does.  On the
other paw, he makes it a point to give whoever I send off, his
personal attention."

"And God, does he do the same for the men we lose?"

"Eventually.  Him being the Lord of All, He has to keep his word about
everyone being able to talk to him in person, someday.  Good folks
like that better than the others, of course.  After the first time,
most of those folks would rather face Satan again, or me, before they
have to see The Lord's Eyes, when he's weighing their soul."

"Tell me something.  Are they good battle commanders?"

"Aye, they are.  They don't waste their men.  None die, of course, but
there are other ways to waste men, and they do their best to avoid
using them to no good purpose.  If you're sent into a situation that
would kill you, here, you know it will mean something more than it was
done to feed a puppy's ego, or to impress a woman.  It strengthens
your blows quite a bit, and...  sometimes a man performs a miracle,
and gets to boast of it, later."

"That's good to know, Bruce."

He watched his battle companion suck up the attentions of the camp
followers, then he sighed.  "A man could get jealous, if he didn't
know you'd earned all of it--and more."

He drained his tankard, then sighed.  "You're a good man, Bruce, and
it isn't right..."

He handed his now empty tankard to the girl who was at his side, then
he pulled a dark haired woman down to join him on the grass.  "It's
good to know I'm alive, Love.  Remind me of the reasons I keep trying
to get myself killed."
====

Ketaki & Kioko 019
---

Bruce paused, and when he came out of his memories, he was smiling.
"Mind you, what I described wasn't anything we hadn't done before.
We'd been battle comrades for a few years, and that was a lifetime,
back then.  People who did what we did for a living, and survived
intact, had earned our easy familiarity with each other, and the camp
followers who kept us company, and did far more than deal with the
wounds of the flesh.  

"Granted, some of them made the warding gestures at me when they first
saw me, but after awhile most of them got used to me, and treated me
with the same mix of respect and reverence they did the other men who
fought so others wouldn't have to.

"And sure, things could get pretty irreverent, after a battle.  Think
about all the tension that built up while you were being watched by
the world, and how good it felt to get it over with and then get
someplace you could let it all out.  I bet there was a *lot* of stuff
that went on, that a lot of people who haven't been there, wouldn't
understand.

"Anyway, as far as I was concerned, Rob's comments weren't anything
new, so I forgot about them.

"Maybe, if I'd been paying more attention to him, than the attention I
was getting, I would have realized he wasn't as in his cups as I
thought he was."

* * *

Rob raised himself in his stirrups to stretch and look his men over,
then he settled and studied the limber form that ran beside his horse.
"Considering how far we've come today, and who will be meeting us,
you're a lot more eager than I expected."

Bruce laughed.  'Well, Lord Harald's manor is the nearest thing I
have, to a true home while I'm here this time.  Plus, I have his
servants just as trained as I do my 'harem', and other hangers on. I'm
going to be spoiled, and I won't have to let idiots break their swords
on my heads, to get it."

His right head studied his friend.  "What about you?  You went out an
ordinary Knight, and you came back the most recent commander of his
best men.  Nervous?"

"Some.  Most of that is because I still haven't figured out a good way
to tell him that the last man he sent out to lead us, was a raving
lunatic, even if he was a Belted Knight."

Bruce grinned at him.  "Well, I'm not worried about my soul, so if you
want me to do some lying about it, now's the time to call in some
favors."

"Lord have mercy on us all, Bruce!  Save your lies for when we're far
away from Lord Harald's ears!"

"Or for my camp followers?"

Rob happened to glance forward, and he stiffened.  "Mind your manners,
Bruce.  That's the Bishop come to meet us, along with Lord Harald."

Bruce muttered something that sounded a lot like 'Pious twit.  Someday
he and I are going to have a long talk about some stuff he thinks I
don't know.  One of which, is that I outrank him!'

Rob glanced at Bruce, sighed at the sudden anger he'd heard, then
turned back and shouted at his men.  "Look sharp!  It's the Bishop and
the Lord, come to escort us home!"

When they met, Lord Harald motioned for Rob and his men to keep
moving, then he moved his charger so he was keeping pace with Sir Rob.
"Save your breath, Sir Rob O'Rourke.  I sent you that arrogant puppy
because I had to, and I couldn't think of a faster way to get rid of
him.  I will assume he died doing something heroic, and that someone
will eventually tell me what it was.  If Bruce can get away from
his...  usual companions, perhaps he can entertain my guests with the
story."

Rob nodded slightly, then tilted his head to his left.  "The Bishop
and his entourage?"

"And others."

Rob raised his eyebrows, lowered them, then smiled.  "It's good to be
home, finally.  My wife and daughter have been looking forward to
seeing the manor."

"Wife?"

"I let a camp follower get too close, and...  The village priest was
her father.  I did what was right, and I haven't regretted it, most of
the time."

"The Lady will be pleased, Sir Rob.  She feels the need for some
ceremony, and that will be yet another excuse for what she has
planned."

"Ah?  Well, I was hoping the three of us could make our toasts to our
good fortune, then start looking for a place to settle."

"Where you settle, will be in the Commander's quarters."

"Sir!  I?!  Your Commander?!"

"The men know you, and trust you, Rob.  I don't have a choice, because
you're senior to everyone I have left."

Rob choked back a laugh when His Lord chuckled.  "Unless you want me
to give the job to Bruce."

"That might get some to question your sanity, My Lord."

"Not my good judgment?"

"No.  Bruce is a good man to have at your side, or back, Sir.  The men
and I would feel it is an honor, to serve under him."

"Well, relax.  Things seem calm, so as the patrols come in, you can
bring them up to strength, and train replacements to fill out the
ranks, so we get back up to our proper strength."

"That's good to hear.  Some of the more recent battles could have gone
either way, if not for Bruce."

"So you'd say his presence has been a blessing to us all?"

"I do."

"Good."

He moved so he could watch Bruce while he easily paced them, then
spoke softly.  "Bruce."

"My Lord?"

"It is good to see you return with my men.  Thank you, for helping
watch over them.  Will you be staying with us, or will you get bored
with peace, and move on?"

"I'd like to stay, if you'll have me.  It is not time for me to return
to Hades, and in spite of what some say, I do not enjoy the savageness
of battle.  It is part of my job, to do it, so I do it well, then
spend my nights praying for a time when I will not have to go to war,
at all."

The Bishop stiffened, then glared at Bruce.  "You are The Dog of
Hades.  You have no right, to presume to take part in the affairs of
men, and pray to Him, for eventual peace."

"Did I say I pray to Him?  I pray to my liege, Satan.  As for my right
to be here, I need no right.  I go where my Master wills.  I am his
scout, so he does not have to appear, for should he find it needful to
be here, all will tremble, and there would be battles such as this
realm has never known."

"God will not allow Satan to appear."

"How little you know of God's mind.  Satan is a fallen angel.  God
cast him down, true, but he would not be the All Father, if he could
not command even unto Satan and his Minions, should he choose to do
so.  If God commands, Satan may choose to listen to those commands, or
not.  If he chooses to listen, when God commands him here...  I leave
it to you to picture what might happen, for I cannot."

"God would not command the Father of Lies here."

"Your own book tells of a time when God will step aside and let Satan
rule in this realm.  Do you, then, deny the reality of His Word?"

"I...  No."

Bruce ran in silence for awhile, then he sighed.  "A good commander
seeks to know his enemy, as best he can, before he engages him in
battle.  I am not your enemy, but if you choose to see me as one, I
cannot stop you from doing so.  Enemy, or friend, you know where you
can find me, if you choose to learn more about me, from me.  I know it
will be small comfort to you, if I admit that I save my lies for more
important things, than an attempt to deceive a man who is only trying
to serve His Lord, to the best of his ability."

The Bishop winced, then nodded stiffly.  "I will consider your words,
and the knowledge you have offered to share."

He straightened, and looked past Rob.  "My Lord, I withdraw my
objections to what you have planned."
====

Ketaki & Kioko 020
---

This time, when Bruce paused, he was rewarded with giggles and
laughter.

After he was fed some more food, he laughed.  "Aye.  My mind was
already on being spoiled, so I missed something I shouldn't have.  Oh,
I noted it, but I was expecting the usual stuff that happened when we
returned after years away.

"Well, a lot of that stuff did happen, but there was something extra
waiting..."

* * *

Instead of going to the manor, The Lord had his returning men divert
to the village church, 'for a little bit of ceremony that The Lady had
insisted on'.

The Lord and Lady gave some sincere speeches, and if people noticed
some of their brief tales of our heroics had little relation to the
gory reality, nobody saw fit to object.

Things were winding down, or so I thought, when some pages came out
with three fancy cushions, and waited.

The Lord cleared his throat, and when I realized what he was saying, I
wanted to bolt, but it was too late, so I sighed to myself and wished
I was dreaming, so I could wake up.

"When circumstances permit, I am allowed to declare a faithful
retainer, a Knight.  I'm not one for fancy words, so if Bruce will
step forward,  and go to his knees, then rest his heads on each of the
cushions, we'll get this over with so you folks can come to the manor
and enjoy the food we have waiting."

So, there I was, trapped, and wishing I was cowardly enough that I
wouldn't feel guilty if I ran like...  I was after me.

Instead, I raised my heads like I was proud to be about to look silly
in front of my friends, and I solemnly walked forward, then managed to
bend my front legs backwards, instead of stretching them in front of
me, in a proper bow.

I lowered my heads, and once the pages had a good line on where they'd
land, they set the cushions down and adjusted them until all of my
heads hit in the centers.

Mind you, I knew I looked the fool, but folks were dead serious about
that Knight stuff, and nobody cracked a smile, or did something to
hint they thought I looked as silly as I felt.

Now, it you know how it works, you know the highest ranking churchman
has to get mixed up in it, and sure enough, he did.

He made the usual windy noises, then, he did what was expected of him.
I have good hearing, so I wasn't surprised when I heard my 'harem',
and Rob's family, suppress their giggles just before he blessed me,
and reached to sprinkle holy water on each of my foreheads.

I'll give him this, he was every bit of a twit, but he was a *brave*
twit.

When the holy water hit, instead of behaving like it was water, and
flowing into my fur, it hissed, sizzled, and then foamed, before the
foam spread and covered my muzzle and made me look like I was frothing
at the mouth.

Now most people would have hesitated, and thought before they did it
again, but this guy nodded his head, as if he'd expected it to happen,
then he repeated the process on my other two heads, before he stepped
out of the way.

The Lord stepped up, tapped my shoulders with his sword, then called
me 'Sir Bruce' and added the name of some part of his lands that was
so poor that there was no way to do anything with it, unless whoever
worked it could find a way to sell bigger rocks to people who already
had more than they knew what to do with.

So of course, everyone being bored, they called for me to give a
speech of some sort. 

There I was, foaming fit to scare most anyone, if they had met me on a
dark night, and these wonderful people were demanding I honor them
with a speech!

I fed them the lines they wanted to hear, then The Lord declared the
ceremony over, so lets all go eat.

At that point, it was ok for my camp followers to come up and clean me
up a little, before we all went and gorged ourselves at the Lord's
expense.

* * *

Bruce stopped his narrative, then went to his knees and laid his heads
on the grass.  "Father Glenncannon?  Some bad theater, so they can see
what I looked like?"

"You, Sir Bruce, are...  enjoying yourself immensely, aren't you?
Never mind.  We could all use some good laughs at our own expense."

I filled a plastic cup with some water, then held my hand over it. "In
the name of God, I bless this water."

A voice boomed out.  "I'll do it myself!  Move your hand!"

I did, a bolt of white light hit the water, vanished, and we heard
booming laughter.  "Brucie needs to take a bath before he drops by,
anyway."

I sighed, the kids giggled, then I walked over and smiled before I
dipped my fingers in the water and sprinkled some on each of his
foreheads.

Just like he'd described it, it hissed, sizzled, then his heads were
covered in foam.

I spoke mildly.  "He must be pleased about something.  I think He made
it extra strength."

Then I handed the plastic cup to Karen.  "You saw how it's done.  Work
your way down his necks, and don't stop until after you do the tip of
his tail."

She hesitated.  "Real Holy Water won't affect me?"

"No.  Here, I'll show you."

I dipped a finger, then traced across her forehead with it.  "See?"

Oh...  Wow...   May I do that to the other minions?"

"Yes."

She did, they all went into trances, then each of them recovered and
helped her sprinkle holy water on Bruce.

After they finished, and he was covered in foam, he grinned.  "Let
each of my heads take a sip of what's left."

Karen tipped some in each mouth, then Bruce tipped his heads
vertical...  And gargled.

Foam shot skyward and after it stopped, he shook himself and laughed.
"You should see what happens when I jump in a swimming pool that's
filled with that stuff!"
====

End:
The Glenncannon Muses
Part 2 of 4

-- 
Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights
reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated.
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