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From: Emi Tsuruta <emitsuruta5@yahoo.com>
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Subject: {ASSM} A Fork in the Road {Emi Tsuruta} (FM+ exhib voy)
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A Fork in the Road
By Emi Tsuruta
Note: this is one in a series of posts about my life.
If you'd like to know more about my friends and me,
please drop by my home page at:
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/emitsuruta/www/
Maybe I'm old-fashioned, but I think I believe in true
love. Somewhere out there, there must be a soul mate for
you, and once you find that person, you'll love them for
the rest of your life. At least that's what I always
thought.
In reality though, things don't always go so smoothly.
Take Ryosuke and me for instance. When we first started
going out, we were so into each other. The sex was hot
and passionate. We couldn't get enough. Gradually though,
things slowed down. Real life began to get in the way, and
we didn't always have time to go out, and do stuff. I still
thought that we'd be able to make it work though. But life
is never simple, is it?
Even when I first met Ryosuke, I knew there must have been
other women in his life. The first time I met Kiyomi I swear I
thought she was his girlfriend. The two of them were so close.
She'd arrived in California a couple of years before I did, and
it was only after Ryosuke and I started getting more serious,
that she finally found a boyfriend of her own, Eden. Every time
Kiyomi called, Ryosuke would perk right up, and make plans to
meet. The times the four of us got together, there was this
weird sexual tension between Ryosuke and Kiyomi. I think even
Eden sensed it. At the time, I think I was able to 'outsexy'
Kiyomi, but even so, it was clear that she had some kind of hold
over Ryosuke, and it was very powerful indeed.
Then, there was the girls Mieko and Masayo. The story there was
that Ryosuke was just helping our friends Kenta and Futoshi to get
to know Mieko and Masayo, so they could ask them out, but there
was this obvious chemistry between Ryosuke and Masayo, like at the
Halloween party for instance. I don't think they slept together,
but it's hard to tell for sure, you know?
More recently though, there was this American girl, Demi. My
friend Asuna (who also happens to be Ryosuke's cousin) and I had
gone to the beach in the afternoon, but there was supposed to be
this party at Asuna's place that evening, hosted by her roommates
Maria and Sandra. When Asuna phoned home, the party had already
started, so we headed straight there without bothering to change
out of our swimsuits. There were all kinds of people there, but
what immediately caught my eye was Ryosuke sitting off in the
corner talking with this American girl. She had longish black
hair, and was fairly pretty I guess. She looked like she was
from Greece or somewhere. I asked Asuna who the girl was, and
she said,
"Oh that's Demi, a friend of Maria's."
I swear I'd never seen Demi before. I'd never even heard of her,
but here Ryosuke and her were talking away, all friendly-like,
caught up in their own little world. I went over to say hi to
Ryosuke, but Demi was saying something to him, so he completely
ignored me! I couldn't believe it. He was supposed to be my
boyfriend, but it was like I wasn't even there.
Anyway, I was still in my wet bikini, and needed to get changed,
so I wandered back to the bedroom area. Asuna was in the washroom,
and in Asuna's room, there were a whole bunch of people I didn't
know, so I couldn't change there. My bikini was getting all cold
and clammy though, so I really wanted to get out of it.
I came back out to the kitchen, looking for my bag with all my
clothes in it. I finally spotted it under the table Ryosuke was
sitting at in the dining room. I waved to him trying to get his
attention, but he was so wrapped up in his conversation with this
Demi woman that he didn't even notice me! Boy, was I steamed -
let me tell you.
Where am I supposed to get changed? Way down the end in Sandra's
room, there is a spare bathroom, but Sandra's boyfriend Craig
might be down there, and I wasn't in the mood to deal with him.
I thought about this some more, and then
eventually, I began to wonder if I should just get changed here
in the kitchen. I still had my towel in my purse, so I could
wrap it around me, and then go fish my clothes out of my bag.
Now there's a plan.
Still vaguely trying to get Ryosuke's attention, I lifted my
hoodie up and over my head, taking it off. Everyone else at the
party was fully dressed, but here I was standing in my bikini in
the kitchen. I dried my body off as best I could with my towel,
and then wrapped it around me. Luckily, the towel did seem to be
more or less long enough to cover up my private areas. People
sitting in the living room couldn't see me, and the only people
in the dining room were Ryosuke and Demi who weren't paying
attention, and a Japanese boy and a couple of American girls
sitting with their backs to me.
Quickly, before anyone came, I pulled off my bikini bottoms,
and pulled my bikini top out from under the towel. I remember
feeling proud of myself for managing to get undressed so quickly.
I pulled the towel up making sure that it was covering my breasts.
I wouldn't want to flash anyone my nipples by mistake. I tried
again to signal Ryosuke to give me my bag, but he was still caught
up in Demi's spell, completely oblivious. I was so annoyed.
Anyway, seeing no other choice, I finally zipped out around behind
him to get my bag. It was kind of under the table, so I got down
on my hands and knees to fish it out, vaguely worrying that
stretching out like this might pull my towel up at the back,
exposing my bare backside. I felt nervous and more than a little
excited. Now that I was out in the dining room, all the people
sitting in the living room could see over this way. Hopefully,
they won't notice me with the table in the way.
I couldn't quite reach my bag, so I elbowed Ryosuke in his calf,
trying to get him to help. He finally noticed me, but looked
down with this detached look in his eyes trying to pretend like
he didn't know me. I scowled at him, making an angry face,
still trying to get him to pull my bag over. He just patted me
on the head like I was his kid sister or something, and turned
back to talk to Demi.
Realizing that he was going to be of no help whatsoever, I slowly
lowered myself down again, a bit worried that my breasts were going
to pop out of the towel. Sure enough, just as I was about to reach
my bag, the knot in my towel came undone, causing it to fall open
at the front.
I froze, trying to decide if I should leave the bag to tie my towel
back up, or just continue as if nothing had happened. As far as I
could tell, the people in the living room hadn't really noticed me,
and the only ones who could see me were Ryosuke, Demi if she craned
her head, and people outside in the parking lot. It didn't look
like there was anyone outside, so I slowly straightened up,
allowing my towel to fall back onto the carpet at my feet. There I
was kneeling - completely naked - right next to this huge picture
window in an apartment filled with people.
I felt embarrassed of course, but more than that I felt this sudden
rush of sexual energy coursing through my body. I hadn't really
meant to do this, but now that I was naked, it felt great.
Ryosuke glanced down, and seemed quite shocked to see me naked all
of a sudden. Demi leaned over to see, and she looked pretty shocked
too. I just kneeled there, smiling meekly at the two of them, not
even trying to explain.
"What are you doing, Emi? Stop fooling around," Ryosuke snapped at
me, genuinely annoyed.
"Who is this girl?" Demi demanded. The commotion was attracting
too much attention, so I finally gathered up my towel, and wrapped
it back around me, still smiling sweetly, waiting for Ryosuke to
explain.
"Uh... this is my girlfriend, Emi," he finally admitted. Demi
looked a bit upset, perhaps not so much at me for flashing them,
but more at Ryosuke for not mentioning he had a girlfriend. As
I suspected, he had been hitting on her! I knew it. So much
for true love.
Anyway, I picked up my bag, and beat a hasty retreat, running
out through the kitchen, living room and down the hall to see
if Asuna was out of the bathroom yet. She was, but someone else
had gone in. Asuna was surprised to find me still in my towel,
but once I explained, she asked everyone to leave her room, so
I could change. While I was waiting in the hall, Sandra's
boyfriend Craig spotted me, and looked me up and down, with
lust in his eyes. Ah well. At least I have one admirer.
Anyway, once they'd all cleared out, I got changed into my
street clothes, so I was decent again. I finally went out,
and manage to tear Demi away from Ryosuke. In any case, Demi
seemed kind of angry at him, so I think I managed to put a
stop to things before they got out of hand. The whole
incident got me wondering though about how many times he'd
tried something like that when I wasn't around.
After that, our relationship became a bit rockier. It wasn't
just the jealousy though. I'd flirted with other guys,
fooled around a bit even, but in my heart, I'd always intended
to stay with Ryosuke. Another problem we had though was we
disagreed about where we should live. Ryosuke wasn't happy at
the sushi restaurant, and wanted to go back to Japan to find a
better job, while I wanted to stay in California in Oceanview.
That was a biggie, and not so easy to solve.
I did want to work this out though, so to get his mind off his
troubles, I finally agreed to go to the nude beach with him.
I knew it'd been a dream of his. We'd been once before, but on
a day when hardly anyone was around, the day of the barbecue,
just for a short time. Now it was summer and the high season,
so I hoped that might cheer him up, show him the good points
about living here in Oceanview. There are no nude beaches in
Japan that I know of.
So one day, we packed up, and headed to the beach.
Unfortunately, on the way, we got into an argument. I think he
must have looked sideways at some girl checking her out, and I
made some kind of remark, and we started bickering over it.
Even when we got there, and there were all these naked people
around, he was still in a bad mood. I stripped out of my
clothes fairly soon, hoping this would cheer him up, but no
such luck. He was still brooding. He eventually stormed off
to go swimming by himself.
So there I was sitting naked on my towel, feeling kind of sad
and worried. Ryosuke and I had been going out for almost five
years by then. I'd gotten so used to having him around, but
now it was like everything I tried seemed to go wrong. I felt
kind of helpless and alone.
Not sure what else to do, I got out my cell phone, and gave my
friend Satomi a call. While I listened to the recording on her
voice mail, I glanced down the beach, and noticed this American
guy lying face down, not far away, looking back at me. I wasn't
sure what he was doing at first, but as I looked closer, I
suddenly realized that he was cradling what looked to be a camera
in his hands. Oh god! He must be taking my picture! Here I was
sitting out here right in the middle of the beach- buck naked
- but I'd been so wrapped up in my own troubles I hadn't even
noticed him till then.
Maybe if I'd been in a less fragile mood, I might have yelled at
him or done something, but for some reason, at that particular
moment, I found his interest in me oddly comforting. The guy
was handsome in a way with his dark hair and tanned skin.
Here I was thinking I was losing my touch, but this guy seemed
absolutely fascinated by me, this sad-looking Japanese girl
sitting naked on the beach by herself. Realizing I was on
camera, I brushed the hair out of my eyes, and even managed
to muster a brave smile.
It was kind of embarrassing though having him take my picture
with me being naked and all. I turned away from him,
continuing to straighten my hair, but I swear I could still
hear him clicking away. This was all quite amazing, because I
don't think I'd ever had a guy try to take my picture on the
nude beach before. So you are out here naked, and what are you
supposed to do? How are you supposed to react? I guess I
should have covered up at least, but I really wasn't in the
mood to fight. I just kind of sat there, mulling the
situation over.
I eventually turned back towards him, but he was still there
staring straight at me, obviously quite happy to have found
such a beautiful young model who would pose nude for his
photographs. Flailing around, trying to look natural, I
lay down, accidentally giving him a peek at my pussy. I turned
to lie on my back, looking around to see if anyone else was
watching us. When I turned though, I inadvertently spread my
legs open, giving him an even better shot of my pussy. What
on earth am I doing? I'm acting almost as if I want him to
take my picture. This isn't very ladylike now, is it?
Feeling a bit more self-conscious, I sat back up, trying not
to look at the guy. Still facing him, I turned, and swung my
legs around in front of me, pulling them up so I could rest
my elbows on my knees, still letting him see my pubes. In a
vague effort to recover some modesty, I pulled a towel around
my shoulders, but this did nothing to hide my pussy.
I hadn't actually been trying to flirt with the guy, but I
guess Ryosuke had noticed something was going on, and came back.
Ryosuke still looked a bit sore, but he got down on all fours,
and gave me a kiss! I swear Ryosuke almost never kisses me in
public, but I guess that was his way of apologizing for arguing
with me.
The photographer guy might have got in one last shot of us,
but with Ryosuke there, he seemed worried, and put down his
camera. I didn't tell Ryosuke about the photographer. I
didn't want to upset him, but it seems he'd figured out
something had happened, and agreed to get dressed, and head out.
I pulled my hoodie and shorts back on, and eventually, Ryosuke
and I went for some lunch. As I walked past the photographer,
he gave me a big smile thanking me I guess for letting him take
my picture.
I was worried for a while after that that those pictures might
get out. I've kept an eye out since then to see if those
pictures popped up somewhere, but I haven't seen them yet.
Let me know if you do.
So anyway, Ryosuke and I seemed to be back on an even keel, but
just around that time, Ryosuke got a call from Kiyomi. She'd
just broken up with Eden, and wanted to come up, and stay with
Ryosuke for a few days while she recovered. Now I guess I can
understand her wanting to reach out to Ryosuke after the break-up,
but there was just no way I was going to agree to her staying at
Ryosuke's place in his room. There had always been this sexual
tension between the two of them, and now she was single and
emotionally vulnerable. Staying together would just be a recipe
for trouble. Ryosuke was like "she's just a friend," and
"nothing will happen," but I was like "no way." Given how
insecure I was feeling after the Demi incident, it was simply
too much to ask.
Anyway, Ryosuke and I talked and talked, trying to work out some
kind of compromise, but he wouldn't budge. He didn't want to
leave Kiyomi alone in her hour of need, and I didn't want the
two of them sleeping in the same room together. When we couldn't
resolve this, Ryosuke proposed that he and I should take a 'break.'
It wouldn't be like we were breaking up exactly, but just that we
would take some time off, so we could each do our own things for
a while. I was vaguely horrified at the very suggestion, but it
was hard to see any other way of getting out of this. Finally,
after more talking and hand-wringing, I gave in, and resolved to
make the best of it. We said our goodbyes, and headed off our
separate ways.
So here I was single again. It had been such a long time since
I'd been on my own, I wasn't really sure what to do at first.
Sure, I was vaguely interested in some guys: Sandra's boyfriend
Craig from the party, Ryosuke's host brother Daniel, the married
man from the grocery store, but there wasn't much chance of me
getting together with any of them, at least not right away.
There was this one other guy I was mildly intrigued by. His name
was Todd. He used to live in Satomi's dorm, but the rumor was he
had graduated, and moved out. He had black hair, an angular look
and these soulful eyes. When I talked to him, he always looked me
straight in the eye. I mean he really listens like he cares
deeply about whatever it is I'm on about. The problem was though
that I had no idea how to get in touch with him. He did show up
at Satomi's dorm every once in a blue moon, but it was usually
late at night unannounced. I talked with Satomi though, and she
did agree to let me sleep over in her room now and then to keep
me company.
Satomi usually goes to bed pretty early though, so if I was still
awake, I'd go to their house's common room. My hope was that I'd
bump into Todd, but actually, there usually aren't that many people
around at that time of night. There was this one Korean American
girl, Lori, who was usually up, so she'd come in, and we'd chat.
She's a funny girl, petite, but with really big hair and lots of
black eye make-up. I guess the guys don't hit on her that much,
but she laughs a lot, and is kind of sexy... to my eyes anyway.
We're not all that close really, but it was nice to have someone
to talk to when I was up late.
Lori knew Todd, but she had no idea when he would show up either.
Lori and I would keep this late night vigil though, watching talk
shows, and gabbing about girls stuff while we waited around to see
if anyone would come by. Once or twice a night, the dorm's porter
came through to check that everyone was safe, and that the doors
were locked. Sometimes a few guys would drift through on their way
back from some late night party or pub crawl. I saw the medical
student Anton a few times, but he already had a serious girlfriend.
Usually, though, things were pretty quiet.
One question that I wondered about at first was what I should wear
when I went out to the common room. I mean it was night time after
all. Practically everyone was asleep already, so I didn't think
there'd be anything wrong with going out there in my pajamas. Lori
dresses pretty casual, and I'd seen other girls wandering around in
their nightwear in the halls. At first though, I felt as if I
should get dressed up since it is a public area, so I'd change back
into my jeans and blouse before going out. After a while though,
it didn't seem like such a big deal, so I'd go out in just track
pants and a t-shirt or whatever I happened to be wearing to bed that
night. The truth was though that I'd kind of gotten into the habit
of sleeping naked at Satomi's - it was easier there than at home
where I had to worry about my host mom's son, Brandon, coming in.
At the dorm though, I'd usually pull something on before going
out to the common room.
Anyway, Lori was a pretty earthy girl, so I knew she'd probably be
cool with just about anything. The porter never even stopped to
look at us. S/he just rushed through the hall behind the entrance,
checked the outside door, and then came back through before heading
to the next common room. The guys who stumble through were probably
too drunk to notice much either, and they never stay long. And then
there was Todd. Well, I don't think he'd complain much if I dressed
casual. He seemed to be kind of into me, or so I hoped anyway.
My first little experiment was going out to the common areas in one
of my jogging outfits: pink stretch cotton shorts and a matching pink
short-sleeved top. Perhaps not all that daring - I wear this outfit
in the fitness center - but like I said, I was mainly planning on
testing the waters at first. Lori didn't say anything when she saw
me, and soon, we were joking and chatting away, the same as always.
The porter came through around midnight. Lori stayed for another
hour, but when the TV show we were watching ended, she said good
night, and headed off to bed. I didn't feel all that sleepy, but
it had gone quiet, so I don't think much of anyone in our 'house'
was still up. I flicked through the channels, but there didn't
seem to be much on TV. I got up, and went over to the window
peering out into the courtyard. There was no one in the quad,
and the Arts building across from us was all dark. Am I the only
one still awake?
I started to get this feeling like butterflies in my tummy. I
don't know if you ever get this, but it usually comes when I
realize that I might be able to... how should I put this... get
naked without getting caught I guess. I'd left my lucky charm
necklace back in Satomi's room, but it really did seem like no
one was around, so it got me wondering if I could get away with
it. I don't think I did anything that first night, but I'd
sometimes find myself daydreaming about it over the next few
weeks.
Then this one night, I was down there again. I hadn't seen
Lori around, so I think she must have gone to bed early. I was
wearing soft brown brushed cotton boy-style pajamas, sitting in
the common room with the TV on, just kind of spacing out. This
whole being single business had gotten old really fast. I kept
wondering if I should call Ryosuke, and see if Kiyomi had moved
on yet. He hadn't actually said that they'd sleep together, and
she might not even be ready for a new relationship yet anyway.
Anyway, better not to think of that. I should probably give him
his space for now.
The porter had already gone through, and it was getting pretty
late by then. Almost all the lights were off outside. I was
debating going to bed myself, but before I did, I decided to
have a little fun. Checking the door to make sure no one was
coming, I slowly pulled down my p.j. bottoms, stepping out of
them. It still seemed safe, so I pulled off my p.j. top too,
sitting there naked in the common room. Feeling adventurous,
I got up, and went over to the window looking out at the grass
and bushes in the quad. Luckily, there didn't seem to be anyone
around outside, but I knew I was taking a terrible chance,
getting naked in such a public part of the dorm, so pretty soon
I pulled my p.j.'s back on, and went back to Satomi's room to
sleep. Of course, I didn't tell her about my little adventure,
but it was kind of fun while it lasted.
After that, a lot more things happened, but I'd better save that for
another time.
Emi Tsuruta
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/emitsuruta/www/
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Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights
reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated.
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