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Message-ID: <62660asstr$1366981803@assm.asstr-mirror.org>
From: Cheryl Allen Tessler <cat47@hotmail.com>
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Subject: {ASSM} A Sex Memoir, part twelve, M+g, Fg, bondage
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Date: Fri, 26 Apr 2013 09:10:03 -0400
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<1st attachment, "Memoira_pt_twelve.doc" begin>

A Sex Memoir
Chapter 12

When we got to room 213, Ann stopped me and backed me against the
wall next to the door.  "So do you want to go in, or do something
else?"  There was something very suggestive in her tone.

"Gawd, that's the worst thing that's ever happened to me," I
whispered loudly.

"You're really hung up on this girl-on-girl stuff," she said.

"I've never kissed a girl in front of a bunch of people," I said
hoarsely.  "Shit, until last night, I'd never kissed a girl."

"OK," said Ann, "you're a little upset.  Let's go down to my
room."

"Ann, Ann, stop," I said.  I wanted to hold my hands out in front
of me.  "I can't do anything else with you.  Just leave me here
and go back to your room."

"Cheryl," she said softly, "running away from me isn't going to
help.  Come down to my room, take a shower, relax, and tell me
what's really bothering you."

My lower lip trembled.  "You won't try anything, will you?"

"Not a chance," said Ann.  "You're nearly a basket case."

"OK," I whimpered.

Ann led me past 213, down the stairs, and into her room, the door
of which was ajar.  The room was empty.

"I guess the other girls are out catting around," said Ann. 
"Oops, that didn't come out right."

"It's all right," I said, "I don't want anyone to see me with
you, anyway."  I looked at Ann.  She was crestfallen.  "I'm
sorry, I didn't mean it like that.  But if we're together all the
time, people will think we're lesbians."

"Take a shower," said Ann, undoing my cuffs.  "A long, hot,
shower."

I did.  I spent twenty minutes in the bathroom, trying to get a
hold of myself, trying to figure out what I would say to Ann when
I rejoined her.  When I emerged, Ann took her turn in the shower,
though it took only five minutes.  When she walked out of the
bathroom, she was still dripping wet.  I was sitting on the
couch, and she toweled off in front of me.

"So if you really didn't want to kiss me just now, why did you do
it?" she asked.  "You could have just said no and run out.  No
one would have dragged you back."

I was shaking.  "The last man I sucked off before I kissed you, .
. ."

"Yeah, what about him?" asked Ann.

"He pinched my nipples really hard when he told me to kiss you. 
I was afraid he might do something else."

"Like what?"

"Like spank me," I said.

"Maybe, but probably not," Ann replied.  "But that's not why
you're so upset.  Can't you tell me?"

"Because it's really scaring me," I said.  "Last night was really
sweet, and I liked it, sort of, and then today I had sex with you
and you made me have an orgasm, then just now, . . ."  I didn't
finish.

"Just now, for a moment, you kissed me back.  I could feel it."

I hung my head.  "Yes."

"And you're worried about what might happen next?" Ann asked.

I jumped up from the couch and walked nervously across the room.
"Yes, yes, that's it.  What if we go to that room again tomorrow
and those guys make us to more than just kiss each other."

"That's certainly a possibility," said Ann.

"Cheryl, men like to watch women, girls, have sex.  It's a real
turn on for them."

"Why would watching two girls have sex turn a man on?  It
wouldn't turn me on."

"To watch, you mean?" asked Ann.

"Yes, of course, to watch.  What did you think I meant?"

"Calm down, calm down," said Ann.  "I think you need to put this
whole sex thing in perspective.  Men like girls, and they
especially like them when they're having sex.  If it's two girls
doing it with each other, they love to watch.  If they can pull
the girls apart and fuck them, they like it even more.  But no
matter what it is, men will never lose their interest in female
sexuality."

"Yeah, well what if two men were having sex?  What about that? 
They wouldn't want to watch that, would they?"

"No, of course not, and that's just the point.  It's girls that
turn them on."

"You really think so?" I asked.

"I know so," said Ann.  "I've had tons of experience."

"So they don't think that when two girls do it that their
lesbians?" I asked quietly.

"It's obvious when girls are lesbians," said Ann.  "For one
thing, lesbians aren't much interested in having sex while men
watch.  Teasing men is not what they're into."

"I guess that makes sense," I said.   "But when two girls do it,
and a man hasn't asked them to, aren't they lesbians?"

"You should know by now that girls can be friends, close friends,
and not be lesbians.  They can be intimate, share secrets they'd
never share with a man, tell each other fantasies, do lots of
things they'd never do with a man."

"And have sex, I suppose," I said.

"The sex would come if they were really close and really
understood each other, yes."

I straightened up.  "So you think we should sleep together, and
have sex with each other when the men tell us to, because we're
so alike.  I'm a slut and you're a slave."

"You tell me," said Ann.  "You said you didn't run away today
because a man ordered you to kiss me.  He didn't threaten to
spank you if you didn't, but you thought he would.  So you did
what he told you.  You've gone to the beach and to a party with
your wrists bound."

"I just do that because it's easier."

"Easier?" Ann asked.

"That way the men don't have to wonder if I'll have sex with
them.  They know right away."

"They'd know right away if you just showed up naked," said Ann. 
"Don't you think showing up to a party naked and bound says
something more than just you're willing?  That man today who
pinched your nipples: would he have done the same if you weren't
bound?"

"Probably," I said.

"I know you're used to being bound, but when you're bound you
don't have much choice when a man tells you to do something.  The
men all know that.  If you show up bound, you're telling everyone
you'll do what you're told, no matter what it is."

"I don't quite see it that way," I replied.

"They sure do," said Ann, "and that's just what happened today."

"Have you ever been tied up and punished?" I asked.

Ann look startled.  "Sure, several times."

"I don't mean just had your hands tied behind your back, but like
been tied down to a frame?"

"Well, yes, a few times," Ann replied.

"What's that like?" I asked.

"It can be damn scary, even terrifying.  You feel completely
helpless.  I knew the master that did it each time, but even when
you know him you still think the worst, and you know that
whatever he does, you have to take it."

"And did you ever have to suck him off after he punished you?" I
asked.

"Every time," said Ann.  "It's all about humiliation, making the
girl feel that the only thing she can do is what she's told."

I walked to Ann's side and embraced her.  "It must be awful," I
said.

She wrapped her arms around me gently.  "It can be if the
punishment is nasty," said Ann.  "When were you punished?"

I took a deep breath, sighed heavily, and trembled a little. 
"When I was thirteen," I said.  "But I wasn't tied down to a
frame.  You must have really suffered."

"Come over here and sit on the couch with me."

I followed Ann to the couch and for several minutes we sat with
our arms around each other.  "You don't have to tell me about it
if you don't want to," Ann said finally.  "I just want to see you
get your head straight.  If telling me will help, that's fine. 
If not, that's fine, too."

I didn't say anything for a few minutes.  "I guess I have to tell
you," I said.  "It probably means something."

"OK, if you like."

"When I was almost twelve, my stepdad caught me with my
boyfriend.  He didn't see us doing anything, but we weren't
wearing anything.  I got caned for it.  Then about a year later
he caught me with two boys, and this time we were naked and I was
giving one of them a blow job.  He caned me and then he made me
suck his dick."

"So you know what it's like," said Ann.

"Uh, yeah, I do."

"Is that all?" Ann asked.

I buried my face on her shoulder.  "I've never told this to
anyone," I said.

"Small wonder," said Ann.  "Did anything else happen?"

I nodded my head against Ann's shoulder.  When I said nothing
more, she squeezed my shoulder.  "Don't tell me until you're
ready," she said.

It took me a few minutes to screw up my courage.  "The worst part
doesn't come until the end," I said.

"Then don't tell that part first," said Ann.

"The day after he caned me and made me suck his dick, I came home
from school and he was waiting for me."

"Uh oh," said Ann.

"He told me to strip and then he tied my hands behind my back and
made me suck him off again."

"I figured you were going to say that," said Ann.  "Why did he
tie your hands?"

"Because that's the way he found me the day before when I was
with those two boys."

"And that was just the beginning with you and your stepdad," said
Ann.

I nodded against her shoulder.

"And it went on for a while," she continued.  I nodded again. 
"How long?" Ann asked.

I sighed again.  "Almost a year."

"And he caned you other times before he made you suck him off,"
Ann continued.

I nodded.

"A girl could get used to something that goes on for a year,"
said Ann.  I nodded.

"So what the worst he ever punished you?" asked Ann.

"One day I was late coming home," I said.  "When he asked me why
I was late, I lied and told him a teacher made me stay late after
school.  When he found out I lied, he caned me three days in a
row."

"That's pretty bad," said Ann.  "Something like that could cause
serious damage."

I didn't nod, nor did I reply.  After several seconds of silence,
Ann said that the worst part really was bad.

"That's not the worst part," I said.

"Then what was the worst part?" she asked.

I sat up on the couch, folded my hands in my lap, and bent
forward a little.  "There were times," I said, but didn't
finish.

"There were times?" asked Ann.

I sighed.  "There were times when I liked sucking his dick.  He
told me several times that I gave my best blow jobs after I'd
been caned."

Ann put her arm around my shoulder and pulled me to her.  "You've
had enough confession for now."

2013, by Cheryl Allen Tessler.  Other works by the author can be
found at <a
href="https://sizzlereditions.com/?s=SearchResults.asp%3FCat%3D25
0&search_404=1">https://sizzlereditions.com/?s=SearchResults.asp%
3FCat%3D250&search_404=1</a>


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