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Subject: {ASSM} MB29 The Imaginary Man (2) by Rachael Ross (M/F, Rom, Interr, Cheat,  Humil, Reluct)
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Note: Mixed Bag is a compilation of stories by Rachael Ross and
contains a Foreword and 65 chapters. It is being posted to ASSM
largely in sequence. See MB00 for a table of contents. All stories
copyrighted 2008 Rachael Ross all rights reserved. rache696@yahoo.com
visit my website at http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/rache/www/index.htm and see my
blog http://anarchyforbeginners.blogspot.com/ for additional
information. Thanks. -rr


Adults Only

Mixed Bag - Chapter Twenty Nine



The Imaginary Man (Part II)

by rache


=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Story Codes: M/F, Romance, Interr, Cheat, Cuckold, Humil, Reluct

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=




    I was alone in a club, or at least pretending to be, and I was
looking to get picked up by a white man while my black husband
watched. How weird was that? I'd never imagined such a thing in my
life. I'd never wanted to, but now that it was actually happening I
found myself excited by it. I didn't want to be, strange as it sounds.
I already felt guilty just by my willingness to play along and I felt
that if anything really happened I'd have a hard time rationalizing it
later. This was Richard's fantasy, not mine, so why was I excited? Why
had I let him talk me into it in the first place?

    And then I understood that this had been my idea too. Coming here,
not Club Notorious per se, but just going to a club and finding a
white man to have sex with me. I'd suggested it and my earlier plans
to shed my guilty skin were gone. I was a part of it now, as much as
Richard perhaps. That sent a little shiver along my spine as I made my
way through the club, catching looks and occasionally returning them,
but mostly trying to ignore the men watching me. I'd been in clubs
before and I knew how it worked, but never like this. I felt terribly
alone and I looked around, finding Richard standing at the bar. He was
turned towards me and watching like he'd promised.

    I managed to get a table, a small one as a couple older women were
leaving, gathering their purses headed off for greener pastures
perhaps. I smiled at them and sat down quickly, sliding their half-
empty glasses away from me. A waitress would come around soon enough
and I was glad I didn't have that job, those girls were run ragged I
bet.

    "Hi, you look lonely," a man said, a black man as it turned out
and that hadn't taken long at all.

    "Oh, no." I smiled up at him. "I'm waiting for my husband. He's
just parking the car."

    I held up my left hand and shrugged apologetically.

    "Cool. Okay, have fun pretty lady," he smiled, taking it well and
turning around.

    He'd been a good looking man actually and I felt a little pitter-
patter inside, just a fleeting temptation that any wife would feel, I
imagined. It made me smile when I considered that the reason I'd
rejected him was because he was black. That was very strange,
considering I'd never dated a white man in my life. They were the ones
I'd always shot down without a second thought, but not anymore.

    A long five minutes passed before another man approached me, this
one white and I'd noticed him looking at me as he sat with two of his
friends. Three guys checking out the girls and he'd been looking at
me. Being brave about it too, as he hadn't looked away those few times
I'd happened to catch his eyes with mine. He'd stared right at me,
smiling and sipping his drink until I blinked.

    "Tough getting a waitress isn't it, would you like to dance?" he
asked and I looked at him then, feeling my tummy tighten with nervous
energy.

    He was tall and dark haired, with a very light complexion, almost
pinkish and he had blue eyes. A handsome sort of man and confident,
which has a sex appeal all its own. He was dressed well too, not
overdone or too casual, but comfortable with dark slacks and a salmon
polo. I liked it well enough to want to know him better anyway, but I
was wondering inside if I wasn't making a big mistake. It was one
thing to look, everyone did that, but touching...Oh, I hoped Richard
knew what he was asking for, because I didn't.

    "Yeah, I'd love to," I agreed, leaving my purse reluctantly and
standing up slowly. I glanced towards the bar, but couldn't see
Richard there and that made me frown.

    "Nice," The man smiled as he watched me move, rising to my feet.
"I'm Seth."

    "Amber," I said above the music and he put his hand in the small
of my back, guiding me towards the dance floor.

    The music was fast and loud, which didn't leave us with much
opportunity for discussion, but at least he knew how to dance. That
was fun and I didn't mind the occasional touches, the unavoidable
brushing of my body against his as we moved together. After several
minutes he had his hands on me, on my hips and that was okay too. I
was even flirting a little, turning my body and giving him looks over
my shoulders, moving my ass in that tight skirt so that he would press
his pelvis against me once in awhile.

    It was fun and warm and it got my blood going. I forgot about
Richard, not completely, but enough so that he wasn't in the forefront
of my mind. I was mostly thinking about how much fun this was, just
dancing with a man I didn't know, a new face, a white face. It was
something I didn't think I'd missed really, but maybe I did a little.
I'd gotten married shortly after my nineteenth birthday and as anyone
can tell you, even me, that's pretty young to say no to fun like I was
having now, just five months later.

    "Oh, hey..." Seth smiled as the music slowed way down, the flashing
lights growing dim and blue.

    "Whew," I giggled, "Maybe we should sit down."

    "Let's try a slow one, Amber," Seth suggested with a smile and he
was already moving to hold me.

    "Uh...Okay." I swallowed hard and my heart gave a little leap as I
felt another man holding me close for the first time since Richard had
asked me to marry him.

    I put my arms around his neck, not tightly, but as naturally as I
could in my nervous state, and he held my waist gently. Seth was a few
inches taller than me, six foot or a little more perhaps, so I was
looking up and smiling at that. I like taller men and it was just
strange seeing a white face where a black one should be. I hadn't
danced with a white guy since my junior prom probably, and that hadn't
been anything like this.

    "You're a great dancer," Seth was saying. "Are you from the Twin
Cities?"

    "Yeah," I said. "Born and raised. I go to college, the
university."

    "Really? Cool," Seth smiled. "What are you studying?"

    "Uh..." I laughed lightly. "Undeclared, for the moment. I haven't
figured out what I want to be when I grow up yet."

    "You look all grown up to me," Seth said softly and my breasts, my
unbearably swollen nipples were rubbing his chest through the dull
fuzz of my sweater. I felt the heat rising and my heart was going
fast.

    "What do you do?" I asked, wanting to get away from me because I
really didn't know how much I wanted to tell him about myself.

    "I'm an electrician," he said. "I work construction."

    "Yeah?" I smiled at him. "I wouldn't have guessed that."

    "What would you have guessed?" Seth wondered and I giggled.

    "I don't know," I shrugged. "A lawyer maybe or someone with an
office."

    "No, I'd go crazy in an office," he told me. "I like it outside."

    Seth was moving his hands, just a little and I wasn't stopping
him. He moved around my waist slightly, down past my hips and I felt
his fingertips at the top of my ass. I didn't say a word or draw back
and so he was taking it as a green light to draw me a little closer,
enough so that I could feel his evident bulge against the swell of my
thinly covered sex and I suddenly realized I was growing moist.

    "Can I ask you a personal question?" I licked my lips and Seth
smiled.

    "If I can ask you one."

    "Have you gone out with a lot of black girls?" I asked him.

    "No." He shook his head slightly. "Does it bother you?"

    "What? Me being black?" I giggled.

    "Me being white," Seth grinned.

    "It's different," I admitted with a little swallow. "I've never
danced with a white guy, not like this."

    "Do you like it?" the man asked me and I nodded.

    "Yeah, I do," I decided.

    "You're a beautiful woman, Amber," Seth breathed and his hands
went a little lower, pressing against my firm, round ass.

    "Hmmm..." I gave my eyes a tiny roll and wondered if I shouldn't put
a stop to this. I wondered if Richard was watching and I'd pretty much
forgotten about him until right then. It made me unhappy to find I
could lose track of my life so easily.

    "Where's your husband?" Seth whispered, as if reading my mind and
I blinked at him.

    "What?"

    "You said I could ask you a personal question," he smiled.
"Remember? I noticed your rings."

    "Oh." I cleared my throat. "I'm not, uh...sure where he is."

    "Not sure?" Seth chuckled. "If I was him..."

    "If you were my husband?" I giggled nervously, not liking this
discussion at all. "What?"

    "Well, I wouldn't let you dance with another man," Seth told me,
looking into my eyes and he was caressing my ass plainly now, holding
my body tightly to his. His cock was hard, obviously so and he was
working it against me to ensure I felt it. I could hardly breathe and
I wanted to look around for my husband. This was wrong.

    "Are you the jealous type?" I asked, biting my bottom lip and
knowing exactly how that looked.

    "Oh yeah," Seth breathed. "Fuck yeah."

    He tried to kiss me then and I felt the blood rushing to my face
as I pulled back slightly and then I wanted him to let me go. I wanted
that kiss too. I mean, it was time for it. My body was telling me
that, even my emotions, some of them; it was the right place and time
for a little romantic kiss. Seth was holding me close and I was hot
all over. I could feel his manhood against me, hard and barely
restrained. My heart was beating quickly, my nipples flashing cold
with a deep ache to be kissed and bitten and...I was there. Seth had
done it right, but my husband...

    "What's wrong?" Seth blinked at me and he was letting me go
reluctantly.

    "I'm just..." I shook my head and smiled apologetically. "I'm sorry,
Seth. I have to go."

    I left him there and Seth was unhappy, but being a gentleman about
it, at least as much as he could be. I'd just rejected him in the
middle of what seemed to be a pretty good time and he was doubtlessly
wondering what he'd done wrong. I felt bad about that, but I was
filled with anxiety because I'd come so close to letting him kiss me.
A man I wasn't married to, kissing me in public? He was a white man
too and I'd wanted it. I'd forgotten about Richard and wanted that
man. That wasn't me, it couldn't be and so I was running.

    "Amber..." Richard caught up with me, like I knew he would, and I
was leaving.

    I expected him to ask me what was wrong or to ask me what had
happened. I almost expected him to be angry and a part of me wished he
would be. That would be normal. That would be the manly thing. He was
my husband and another man had been feeling up my ass on the dance
floor, trying to kiss me and I'd been flirting. He should have been
angry and that part of me filled with guilt wanted it.

    But he didn't get angry. Richard didn't say a word and neither did
I. He just held my hand, walking me outside, almost pulling me the two
blocks to where our car was parked. He unlocked it and whatever I
expected, I didn't expect him to push me into the backseat.

    "What...?"

    I found myself lying on my back and Richard was on top of me,
kissing me hard. His tongue filled my mouth and his hands were all
over me. He was so hot, burning up it seemed, and I groaned beneath
his weight as my husband worked himself between my legs.

    "Jesus, I love you," he whispered, breathless and dragging his
lips across my skin, down my neck to the tops of my breasts.

    "Richard..." I breathed, wrapping my legs around him as I felt a
surge of passion.

    His cock was hard, trapped in his trousers and he pressed it
against my sex, grinding against the thin nylon of my panties. We were
dry fucking and making out like horny teenagers. I gasped as he pushed
my sweater up, over my swollen tits and found my left nipple with his
mouth. I cradled his head in my arms, closing my eyes and arching my
back as my whole body seemed to throb between his hungry lips. He
sucked me hard, drawing as much of my tit into his mouth and biting
it, washing my nipple with his tongue while I lifted my ass, rolling
my hips to feel more pressure against my pussy.

    "Put it in..." I breathed. "Inside me...Hurry..."

    I was panting for air and my heart was a hammer in my head. I was
aroused completely, my wanton sex rocked with tiny spasms as it sought
something long and thick to fill it. I had to have him inside me now
and I was reaching between us, working at Richard's pants while he
continued to lick and kiss my tits, moving from one to the other and
only when I had his fat black cock in my hands did he look down.

    "Wait...I need a condom..." he groaned and I was shaking my head.

    "Uh-uh...I wanna fuck you so bad!" I giggled, feeling drunk as I
pulled my panty aside, stretching the material with a soft tearing
sound in my haste. I was gripping my husband's cock tightly and
bringing him to my sex.

    "Oh, Amber...Uhhh..." Richard pushed, needing me just as badly as I
needed him and I moaned loudly as his cock slipped into my unprotected
womb, bareback for the first time ever.

    "Fuck...me..." I gasped, pulling his mouth to mine and kissing the man
hard as I accepted his cock greedily.

    The car was rocking, our legs sticking out onto the sidewalk, the
dome light on while we fucked in the middle of downtown Minneapolis.
It was insane and sexy and all I wanted was my husband to love me. I
wasn't thinking about Seth or anyone else, just Richard and how much I
loved him. His cock was inside me. His tongue was in my mouth and his
body covered mine completely.

    This was all we needed, I told myself. Nothing else, just my
husband and me. It was what I'd always wanted, what I'd expected from
our marriage. It was why I'd married him, so that he could have me.
Not give me away to some stranger, but to own me as his woman and take
possession of my womb with his seed. I wanted that so badly and I was
cumming, my cunt collapsing with pleasure, gripping Richard's cock and
working to draw his potent sperm into my body. I sobbed and whimpered
and told him a hundred times how much I loved him. I was content and
complete with my husband inside me.

    "I saw you with that man..." Richard was saying, his words cutting
through the feverish fog that enveloped me.

    "W-What..." I breathed, trying to focus my eyes. He was still inside
me, still fucking me and he hadn't cum, not yet.

    "That white guy dancing with you..." Richard was smiling, looking
down at me. "That was so hot, Amber. Oh, I wish he would have kissed
you, baby..."

    "Kissed me?" I felt cold suddenly.

    "Yeah," Richard breathed, working his prick in and out of me.

    My orgasms were fading now, my passion evaporating with every word
he uttered.

    "When he was grabbing your ass, oh fuck..." Richard searched my eyes
with his. "Could you feel his cock? Was he hard for you? Did you want
him to fuck you?"

    "Get off..." I sighed weakly, pushing at him. "I don't want it
anymore."

    "What? Amber..." Richard narrowed his eyes.

    "Don't cum inside me...just...pull out." I closed my eyes and turned
my head as he tried to kiss me. "Leave me alone now."

    "Why? What's wrong?" Richard asked, hurt and confused. He pulled
his cock out of me slowly and I felt the empty ache of loneliness
possess me.

    "Let's go home," I said.

    There was no explaining it. I'd been making love to my husband,
overjoyed at returning to him and wanting to love him in my devotion.
Richard had been making love to the image of me dancing with Seth. Not
to me, not to his wife, but to a woman who was cheating on him. A
woman letting another man hold her and kiss her. He was using my love
for him to jerk off with. That's what it felt like and if he didn't
know, if he didn't feel it the way I did, then how could I ever
explain it? How could he possibly understand how I felt?


=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=


    "Where are you going?" Richard asked me the next morning, watching
me pack a bag. I hadn't made him sleep on the couch or anything the
night before, but I think he was feeling that way. I know I did.

    "To the dorm," I said tersely and he watched me for a minute.

    "Why?"

    "Because I want some time," I shrugged. "I want to study. I have
midterms coming up soon and..."

    "What did I do?" my husband asked. "Just tell me that. Please?"

    "I don't know," I said and I meant it. I didn't know what I was
feeling.

    "Stay here, okay?" He tried to hug me and I didn't fight it, but I
didn't respond to it either. "Whatever's wrong, we can talk about it."

    "I don't want to talk." I looked at his face. "I want to think,
okay?"

    "Amber..." Richard frowned and he didn't say anything more.

    "I'll be back," I told him. "I still love you."

    I had a room at the freshman dorm on campus. It was mandatory for
freshman, which seemed absurd to me, since I obviously lived nearby.
But it was in the rules and so I had to pay for a room I hardly ever
used, except to relax between classes for the most part. I was using
it now though and for the first time I was glad I had it. I didn't
know what I was doing, but I had to sort it out and I couldn't do that
with Richard whispering in my ear. Once I knew what I was feeling,
what I wanted, I'd talk to him.

    I was sort of a coward.

    "You're a coward," Lisa decided and she was the wrong person to
talk to, probably.

    "I am not," I frowned. "I'm just...If I can't explain it to myself,
how am I gonna explain it to him?"

    "So you don't want to fuck around." She pushed her little round
glasses up her nose. "Tell him that."

    "But I did want to," I sighed, leaning back against the wall,
watching my best friend paint my toenails pink.

    "So..." She bobbled her head around and giggled. "Tell him that
then!"

    "And then what?" I asked. "He's going to say 'Great, Amber! I want
to see you fuck around too!' and then where will I be?"

    "Uhhh...Fucking around?" Lisa laughed. "Don't move so much."

    "I want a jealous guy," I decided. "Like that guy I was dancing
with, you know? He told me if he was my husband, he'd never let me
dance with another man."

    "You want a guy who's gonna like, stalk you?" Lisa shook her head.
"Ask you fifty questions everytime you want to go someplace or come
home a little late?"

    "No," I said. "You know what I mean. I want a husband who wants me
for himself, that's all."

    "Well, that's a new one," Lisa said. "Complaining because your
husband wants you to have an affair."

    "It's not an affair," I told her. "He doesn't want me to love the
guy, he just wants to see it happen. Just the sex."

    "And you're still complaining?" Lisa laughed.

    "I don't think I'm the only girl in the world who wants to be
normal."

    "Define normal for me," Lisa said a little sarcastically, maybe
because she wouldn't fit my definition.

    "I got married for a reason," I told her. "I want to be with
Richard and I just...I want him to be with me, that's all."

    "Too bad he didn't want to see you with another girl," Lisa sighed
and then looked up at me. "Do you think he does?"

    "No!" I giggled and rolled my eyes. "Sorry."

    "Hmmph." She frowned, going back to my toes. Lisa was a lesbian
who had a little crush on me, which was cool. We'd sorted it out and
she understood that I wasn't even a little bi-curious. She had a crush
on every girl she met.

    "It wouldn't bother me so much, except I know that when we have
sex he's thinking about me with another guy."

    "That's weird, yeah," Lisa had to agree with that.

    "I mean, I could understand if he thought about another girl or
whatever. Okay. I get that, but he thinks about me with another man."

    "So if he doesn't say anything, you're okay?" Lisa asked.

    "Maybe," I frowned. "Except now I know."

    "You gotta get over that," Lisa said. "Or you're never gonna be
happy."

    "I know. It's just..." I lifted my hands in a gesture of futility.
"We had sex and it was like I didn't even need to be there."

    "What do you mean?" Lisa asked.

    "I mean, I was so into him, you know? I was hot for him; my
husband was all I was thinking about." I looked at Lisa. "He made me
cum."

    "Cool!" she smiled.

    "And then he starts talking about this other guy and watching us
and it was like Richard was just...jerking off," I said. "He was using
my body, but his mind was totally someplace else."

    "I hear guys are like that," Lisa shrugged.

    "It's not funny," I said. "It hurt, it really did."

    "I'm not laughing." Lisa stroked my shin lightly with her hand. "I
understand."

    "You do?" I asked.

    "I think so, yeah," she nodded. "So just tell all that to your
husband."

    "I wish," I sighed.


=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=


    "Lisa said I was a coward." I gave Sheila a wan smile.

    "Oh yeah?" My blonde haired, blue eyed friend grinned at me.

    "That's bad, huh?"

    "I guess she would know," Sheila laughed. "Lisa's half-boy
anyway."

    "That's not nice." I looked at her.

    "It's true," Sheila shrugged. "You oughta do it."

    "What?"

    "Have some fun, meet a guy." She giggled and Sheila was like that,
all she wanted was fun and of all my friends, Sheila had tried the
hardest to talk me out of getting married.

    "Yeah right." I rolled my eyes and we were sitting in her dorm
room, drinking wine coolers and supposedly studying for our upcoming
tests.

    "He wants you to do it, so..." she shrugged. "Just do it. There's
like three billion boys out there."

    "I don't know."

    "Why you had to settle for one, Amber..." she sighed theatrically.

    "I love him."

    "And he wants you to fuck a white guy, so what?" she laughed. "I
fuck white guys all the time, it never hurt me."

    "I don't," I drank some more wine. "You're white anyway. How many
black boys you fuck?

    "Don't change the subject, cause you know you should have," Sheila
decided. "Definitely. Being a virgin and marrying the first guy you
have sex with? There's a special place in hell for people like you."

    "Shut-up!" I laughed at her.

    "You gotta shop around; didn't your mom ever teach you that?"

    "Leave my mom out of it."

    "So why'd you run away then?" Sheila asked. "If you're not a
coward?"

    "I didn't say I wasn't," I told her. "I admit it. I'm scared to
talk to him."

    "Okay."

    "He might, I don't know." I sucked my lips. "He's got like porn
movies, black girls with white guys. We watch them together and..."

    "That's cool," Sheila giggled.

    "He's just totally into it!" I laughed and Sheila was opening
another bottle, passing it to me.

    "But you want to, huh?" Sheila asked me, staring at me with her
big blue eyes.

    "Want to what?"

    "Fuck around," Sheila smiled. "That's why you're scared, not cause
of what Richard's gonna say..."

    "No!" I made a face.

    "...You already know what he wants," Sheila continued. "The problem
you got is with what you want."

    "Uh-uh," I shook my head.

    "Come on, you don't have to bullshit me. You got your husband all
figured, but...What?" Sheila tilted her head. "You're afraid you're
gonna like it, right?"

    I just looked down because I hadn't wanted to think about it like
that. So bluntly.

    "You danced with that guy and it was fun," Sheila nodded. "You
didn't feel married or anything, huh? It was nice and you were
thinking you might like to fuck that guy."

    "Sheila!" I blinked at her.

    "And if you liked it, then it wasn't gonna be your husband's
fantasy anymore," Sheila grinned. "It was gonna be yours."

    "Maybe," I admitted unhappily.

    "You think you might find a guy you love more than Richard?"
Sheila asked and I looked up sharply. "Hey, it could happen."

    "Thanks." I frowned, because I had been thinking that. Worrying if
I loved Richard as much as I thought I did, or if it was just because
he was the only guy I'd ever been serious with.

    "There's only one thing you can do," Sheila nodded.

    "What?"

    "Get a guy and find out."

    "Oh...Right!" I snorted. "That's like the last thing I want to do."

    "No, you got it sorted out now," Sheila told me. "You got it
boiled down. You might find out you like fucking around, right? That's
issue number one."

    "And issue number two?"

    "You might meet a man you love more than your husband," Sheila
said.

    "Yeah."

    It was a faith problem. Richard trusted me enough to encourage me
to have sex with other men. Or maybe he just wanted to see it more
than he feared the consequences, which was a disturbing thought for
me. But either way, my problem was with me, Sheila had gotten that
much right. I didn't have enough faith in my love for Richard to trust
myself. What if I did like having sex with other men? What if I liked
it more than I liked having sex with my husband? What if I met a guy
and I fell in love? What if...




To be continued...

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