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Message-ID: <58295asstr$1227489004@assm.asstr-mirror.org>
From: Carol Cobillard <cobillard@hotmail.com>
Importance: Normal
Subject: {ASSM} Mom's defloration at the CoG: a sequel, a blog
Lines: 1031
Date: Sun, 23 Nov 2008 20:10:04 -0500
Path: assm.asstr-mirror.org!not-for-mail
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Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories
Followup-To: alt.sex.stories.d





Sex, and
swallowing semen too, are good for you:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/5263250/

 

"I am often
asked whether girls should swallow semen during oral sex. It's up to them of
course, but I can say that swallowing semen is statistically medically safe and
that contrary to what sex advisors tend to tell you it makes a real difference
to your relationship with the guy. Guys want you to swallow, not spit. They get
insulted if you don't. Swallowing semen is romantic." 

-- Sex and the
college girl (ephemera, sex advice pamphlet seen on campus)

 

 

For the first
days of Mom's involvement with the CoG commune she was never alone. A girl of
approximately her own age was with her constantly, and often she was in a group
environment. The principle was, as we now know, one of "love bombing"
and the using of "constant chatter" to prevent independent thought.
And, for several days, there was no indication of any commune-wide sexual
protocol, or of promiscuity. Or, more specifically, of "flirty
fishing", the CoG practice of using sex to attract members and money to
the sect. (On mind control and the Children of God, see the work of Brian
Desborough 

http://www.heart7.net/religious-mindcontrolcults.html .)

 

After a few days
however, Companion Girl began to be shadowed by Companion Boy and a hint of
sexuality could be detected. Only after Mom became used to being in their
company was she introduced to the Great Seducer, a boy of movie-star looks who,
as it would develop, was charged with seducing her and brining her into the
standard CoG protocol. Perhaps "standard" is a misdescription: aside
from the general advice found in Mo Letters, and the particular discouragement
of contraception and the encouragement of oral sex, "sharing" and
religious orientation of sexual gratification, the CoG had few rules. Far fewer
than, for example, Mom's Friend would have when she established a commune of
her own, where a particular goal was the protection of pre-pubescent children
from abuse and the prohibition of sex for minors except between same-age
partners. 

 

When Companion
Girl finally decided that the time was right and the conditions appropriate,
she and Companion Boy began to kiss, the point that the CoG was a Church of
Love and that public displays of affection were both appropriate and necessary,
being made clear. The Seducer took this as a signal and drew Mom towards him.
As they kissed, his hand fondled her breasts and, in an instant, he removed her
top and her bra. At this point, Companion Girl resumed giving instructions to
Mom. As she herself unfastened her Boy's jeans she told Mom to watch while the
Seducer took down his own jeans, and then she told Mom to take down the
Seducer's underpants and see "what God hath wrought".

 

At this point Mom
was totally subject to the will of the three CoG controllers. She could not
protest that she was a virgin, she could not announce that she had never seen a
big penis up close before, she could not resist the commands that would follow.
As Companion Girl took her boy's penis in her hand and put it to her mouth, she
told Mom to do likewise, and Mom did so. Then the Seducer took over instruction
and control. Years later she would tell me that she hadn't done very well that
first time, that she didn't know which parts of the penis were most sensitive
nor did she know how to use her mouth and tongue to excite them best. But
there's no such thing as bad oral sex and the Seducer did tell her to press her
lips and tongue against his penis, and in due course he ejaculated and he was
obviously pleased.

 

Whereas I always
knew from the earliest age that when I had breasts and pubic hair it would be
normal for me to have a penis in my mouth, to want to have a penis in my mouth,
and to enjoy having it ejaculate for me and give me semen to taste and swallow,
Mom had no such background. When she took the penis and put it in her mouth,
and when the Seducer told her to rub it with her lips and tongue and slide her
mouth back and forth, this was a total reorientation of her expectations of
lovemaking. And to her surprise, when Companion Girl told her that there was
nothing nicer or godlier than having a penis in her mouth and that she was
doing Jesus's will and that it must feel good, Mom agreed. It did feel normal
and it did feel good, and she began to hope and expect that when the Seducer
ejaculated she would enjoy it and that swallowing the semen would be right and
good and holy.

 

The Seducer
invited her to take his penis and play with it for a few minutes and to caress
his scrotum, and Mom began to enjoy the novelty and the promise. And then she
put the penis back in her mouth and with the Seducer moving his body in time
with the movement of her head, the feeling of excitement on the part of all
four of them grew. And then the Seducer told her to get ready, and then semen
spurted into her mouth and she had to come to terms with it. And Companion Girl
told Mom not to waste any, that Moses David had said it should all be
swallowed, that it would be good. 

 

Now Companion
Girl and Boy were on the floor, and his penis was in her vagina and they made
love that way, while Mom and the Seducer looked on. The Seducer began to fondle
Mom's vagina and in ten minutes or so his penis was stiff and he lay Mom down
on the ground and moistened his penis and slid it into her vagina and she could
not and did not object or impede. 
And she did not tell him that he had taken her virginity: it didn't seem
relevant. She thought of nothing except that there was a penis in her vagina
and that this was God's plan for her. And she thought, incorrectly as it
happened, that this boy loved her. And because of that, she must have his penis
inside her, must make his semen part of her.

 

Mom says she would
never have been so quick to touch, much less put in her mouth, a penis had it
not been for her falling under the spell of her controllers. But once she had a
penis in her mouth for the first time it felt so natural to have it there, to
be stimulating it with her lips and tongue, to be waiting for semen to come out
of it in some unimaginable fashion, that she went along happily with what
Companion Girl and the Seducer instructed. And having been told to welcome and
to savor the semen she did exactly that. Indeed, as Mom got more experienced at
sex she came to like oral sex so much that 3/5 of her dalliances were limited
to that. 

 

The Seducer, like
many men Mom (and I for that matter) would meet gave rather little thought to
Mom's orgasm. Mom says it was weeks before she experienced her first orgasm,
and that was thanks to an outsider who, after Mom brought him to ejaculation in
her mouth had her lie back and proceeded to kiss and lick her vagina and her
clitoris. A couple of years later when Mom met Mom's Friend at another CoG
installation, the two of them developed an oral sex protocol under which no boy
or man would be allowed to ejaculate into either of them unless he first
assured them climax through oral sex. Both Mom and Mom's Friend were among the
50% or so of girls and women who do not easily reach climax without
cunnilingus. One a girl has reached the threshold of orgasm that way she almost
certainly will welcome the boy's penis in her vagina, and that will complete
her pleasure. There is, too, a thrill of semen pouring into your vagina -- the
more so, as a matter of fact, if the boy has already ejaculated in your mouth
and you have the delicious traces of that to taste while he comes again in your
vagina. That will be a minority of times; but just thinking about it makes me
happy.

 

Mom did not
believe in keeping her lovemaking secret or private. I remember as a little
girl seeing Mom playing with her partners' penises. She would almost invite me
to watch, taking it out of her mouth and pointing it in my direction and, then
when she had semen in her mouth or in her vagina showing it to me. From a
distance, since I did not care to come close. As long as I can remember she had
that poster of Louis Abolafia, presidential contender of the Nude Party in the
1970s, and she would often remark how gorgeous his penis was. http://snurl.com/louisabolafia . The fact is
that girls and women like to look at penises, at least when they are
non-threatening. Consider the fuss made over Prince William's penis:

http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/prince-williams-penis-bu


http://allieiswired.com/archives/2008/11/prince-william-displays-the-royal-peen/


And we now know
from that, don't we, that despite rumors to the contrary, Prince William is
(unfortunately) not circumcised:

http://www.circlist.com/rites/british.html

http://www.encyclopedia.com/doc/1P2-1936385.html

 

One time Mom had
five boys lined up, each at a different stage of puberty, for me and other
girls to see how boys develop. And she pointed out which boys had enough pubic
hair to qualify them for sex. Of course we moved back and giggled, but there
was a serious point taken too. We girls lined up that way sometimes at Mom's
Friend's House to show off and to tease boys, but there was also the serious
point that some of us, those of us with pubic hair, were eligible partners and
the younger ones were not. Less constructively, everybody wanted to be the one
who would set off for the first time the libido in a boy or girl. Better, I
suppose, than trying to be the one who could get some teen to start smoking
(Mom's Friend, a health fanatic, would have retaliated violently to that).

 

At the first
communal house where we lived and where I grew into puberty and had my first
sex at age 11-1/2, I would always see adolescents making love: they liked to
show off. Most of the girls wanted to have sex, and be seen having sex, with
every boy there. There were communal co-ed showers and a lot of dalliances
began there. Ejaculation had to be seen: it was something like the question of
whether a tree falling in the forest makes noise if nobody hears it: an orgasm
only counted if others saw you enjoy it, and if others saw the semen, as proof
of the fact. At any rate it was quite easy to arrange. A smile, a flirt,
putting your breasts into a boy's private space. I used to make the boy kiss my
vagina before I would touch his penis; in fact that's how I learned mutual oral
sex -- because a boy moved his body around so his penis was just above my mouth.
As he rubbed his tongue against my clitoris his penis rubbed against my lips
and I just opened my mouth to let it slide in. It was lovely.

 

When Mom saw this
she said it looked very cute and I started to use this position most every time
I made love to a new boy. So long as the boy did not get distracted and kept up
his stimulation of my vagina and clitoris I would concentrate on the head of
his penis, pressing my lips against it and running my tongue around it and up
and down the underside of the upper part of his penis. About half the time I
would reach orgasm before the boy, in which case I would signal to him to move
around and put his penis into my vagina to complete my climax and ejaculate
there. Then, if the boy wanted and if I felt like it, I'd put his penis back in
my mouth to taste his semen and give him more pleasure as his penis softened. 

 

If, on the other
hand, the boy ejaculated into my mouth before I climaxed, once I got all the
semen I could from him I would have him slide down and bring me to orgasm from
below. I'd usually put an extra pillow under my head so I could watch. Mom had
always said that a girl should watch the penis sliding in and out of her mouth
or vagina that the blessing and the pleasure was in the sights and smells as
much as the feeling. It's why making a fuss of semen is so important, that and
the fact that semen is our DNA connection to the body and blood of Jesus.

 

If the boy had a
big penis then sometimes mutual oral sex with boy on top was unwieldy and we'd
switch. It makes a nicer show for the girl's vagina to be up high where others
can clearly see what the boy is doing to make her happy, and there is also a
nice view of the penis with, typically, the girl taking it out of her mouth a
lot to run her tongue around its head and show it off; also at ejaculation some
semen will probably trickle down for people to see. The older I got, the more
appropriate that position was. But even today I like boy-on-top a lot, and the
Blond-Haired Boy with his average-sized penis does it grandly. The times when
he ejaculates into my vagina there is still enough semen for me to lick off his
penis and suck out of its tip to satisfy, and semen will also drip down my legs
for people to see. Like all young teens I loved to strut about in the nude with
my partner after sex, showing off his penis -- preferably still partly erect --
and flaunting traces of semen whether drying on my pubic air, encrusted on my
breasts or in dried rivulets on cheeks and chin. I would only shower at the
last minute before getting dressed and there in the common, co-ed showers I
would giggle with the other girls and make fun of the boys -- innocently,
somewhat shyly, without any trace of guile and certainly none of guilt. We all
took this as proof the a girl's hymen makes her a prisoner, that at the time
she has her first period she should also have her first penis. 

 

The average or
typical age of menarche in 1991 when I reached that stage was just over 12
years old. Today it's earlier than that. The nice thing about our community,
and I don't know about the CoG, is that there was absolutely no embarrassment
over nudity. A changeling could take satisfaction over having begun the process
of growing up and need not ever feel inadequate. Not in terms of appearance and
not in terms of having sex, when she or he decided to start. I know in the
weeks before I had my first, accidental, penis in my vagina I was quite happy
to walk around nude and show off my bits of breasts and my pubic hair. Terrific
Girl was the same way, and nothing pleased her more than to disrobe -- she did
that spontaneously while I was experimenting that time, trying to see if I
could make a boy ejaculate in my mouth without waking him up:
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2002/37631 . She showed off in the moonlight what in
a few months promised to be a captivating, sensual body, actively sexual,
sharing excitement. I know now that in the weeks before my accidental coming out
Mom was looking ahead my first time; later she told me that she'd been looking
around for an appropriate boy, one with the right personality and -- because
that was important to her -- an attractive penis. There weren't coming-out
parties at the First House, but Mom did want to see me paired off with a nice
boy, one going through puberty, having sex for the first or second time. She
wanted a boy who would be visibly changed in outlook, attitude and libido by my
taking his penis first in my mouth and then, after his kissing and licking me
there, in my vagina. But it was not to be.

 

I came out
without any help from Mom and it is something I still feel bad about because we
can't reminisce about a shared experience. Once it was over, once the boy took
his penis out of me and we got off the floor, everything changed for me and yet
nothing changed at all. Except that a new horizon had opened and I looked a
different way at nude boys and nude penises. As for the boy, he wasn't
important to me at all; we had just been horsing around and there was no
romance and I didn't care for him. I wrote in my diary that I eventually took
his penis in my mouth but I don't remember doing it and have no idea why,
unless it was to taste semen for the first time. First time if you don't count
the semen that splattered on my face when I was masturbating that other boy.
Anyway it wasn't long after that that Mom and I had to leave the First House
and we moved to the houseboat. There I was on my own and except for when Mom
and I visited a likeminded family and except for times when her boyfriend
brought over his son to play or for a sleepover, the next year was for me
catch-as-catch can, and I got most of my sex by targeting susceptible
changeling boys, as I related in this 2002 essay:  http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2002/37597 . 

 

When we moved to
Mom's Friend's House I had already spent that year on the houseboat showing off
myself and seducing pubescent boys; so I became part of the didactic regime.
Nudity and sex, by then, were taken for granted as natural; making love with
different partners and witnessing to faith through the giving and receiving of
sexual pleasure were normal parts of teenage life. The rules were quite simple
really: consensual sex between same-age couples who met the puberty
qualification; the girl had to be assured priority in pursuing orgasm; oral sex
had to be part of foreplay. And at Mom's Friend's House, the boy had to be
circumcised. Mom's Friend, like David Berg before her, always could find
something in the Bible to support her proclamations and her rules. She saw in
the shyness of pubescent boys and girls an eagerness for sexual expression even
as others sometimes found those who painted them -- Munch and Balthus, for
example -- intrusive or worse:

http://www.edvard-munch.com/gallery/anxiety/puberty.htm
(Munch)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Balthus
(Balthus)

http://tinyurl.com/62oxrg
(Balthus and others)

http://home.wanadoo.nl/ipce/library_two/files/academic01r.htm
(research guide to pedophilia in academia). Well, oral sex is not invasive and
I can say, having grown up in communities where pubescent kids were invited to
experiment sexually with each other that it can be wholesome and fulfilling.
And have positive effects on every other aspect of teen life including schoolwork
and social relationships as well as lifetime sexual satisfaction. But then I
also think that oral sex can be a cure for sexual dysfunction and, often, for
marital discord. 

 

Mom thinks that
her enjoyment of oral sex and her genuine delight to receive and swallow semen
- along with her professional demeanor and (what I would call) wholesome beauty
led to her being singled out as a lobbyist for the CoG. Quite soon after she
got to be 18 she began to be sent "flirty fishing" in state capitals
and Washington DC on missions related to political matters of CoG interest.
Having sex, especially oral sex, with senior government officials and politicos
must have had results for the Church because she was kept on the job for years,
working with one or two other men and women, and occasionally a lawyer or two.
As regular readers of these essays may recall, I was born in Ontario when Mom
was in Canada on one such mission. Mom has always refused to say who in
particular she slept with on such occasions, and especially she does not want
me to speculate on who might be my father. (The CoG was always full of
"Jesus babies" of unknown paternity as a result of all that flirty
fishing.) It seemed to me for many years odd that a 6-month-pregnant lobbyist
could be of much use seducing politicians in Canada but now I know there are
more fetishes than anyone could imagine. 

 

Be that as it
may, Mom got stuck there for several months, unable to travel, and when she did
return to the USA with me as a newborn she had no papers other than an Ontario
birth certificate. That only caused me grief when I needed a passport, but
that's another story: apparently (It's on the Internet so it must be true) a
birth has to be registered with a U.S. consul before the child is 5 years old
or fraud is suspected. (Well, it turns out that even if a birth is registered,
and even if the child was born in the USA, the State Department can still get
suspicious: I read of lots of people born in Texas who now have grief because
they were born at home and the midwife is prima facie suspect as crooked. And
can anybody pronounce "Tohono O'odham"? Those
cross-border Native Americans have a similar problem. Being deported to Canada
wouldn't be so bad, but I would hate to be deported to Mexico. Especially with all
those poor girls being murdered in Juarez. In fact, for no particular reason I
once almost moved to Point Roberts, Wash. and from there if you want to visit
any other part of the USA you have to go to Canada first. Or travel by boat.)

 

To get back to my
story of Mom's defloration and her early life in the CoG: It is obvious,
although Mom hasn't spoken of it, that she fell so easily for The Seducer and
took his penis into her mouth without hesitation because she expected some
permanence in the relationship and she was smitten by him. As it happened, and
as happens all the time, that was all pretense and she was set up for sexual
exploitation. In retrospect she doesn't mind this at all, and indeed when it
was happening she didn't realize that she was being traded as chattel. The
Seducer was loyal to her for a week, and her escort, Companion Girl continued
to be with her for longer than that. But after six or seven days The Seducer
introduced her to a different boy and in effect told her that she now had to make
love to him. And she did it: she took Different Boy's penis into her mouth and
made love to it -- if only to please The Seducer and Companion Girl. (Charles
Manson, one of the most evil men America has produced, was like that too. I
read an interview with a businessman who said that the first thing Manson did
when the guy called on him was "instruct one of his girls to give him a
blow job" -- presumably to get a lower price in the deal.) And then there
was a series of boys -- boys from 11 to 15 or so -- and one of the senior
controllers or "guides" or whatever they were would instruct her to
perform oral sex on them or to make love to them. Sometimes they would have
trouble getting an erection and she would have to work on that, or else just
stuff the penis into her mouth or her vagina -- after his first orgasm with a
girl, a boy's erection would tend to come automatically. And her controller
didn't mind when, after making a boy ejaculate in her mouth she would have him
perform oral sex on her in return. But at least in those cases there was not
the evil intent: seduction and playing to a girl's hopes do not equate to the
evils of quasi-slavery, drugs and murder. 

 

Once the
controllers deemed that Mom was one of them, committed to sex as religion, they
left her largely to herself in the task they assigned her to seduce pubescent
and adolescent kids, to encourage boys and girls to have oral sex. Her mission
was to make kids, girls especially, feel a need and an eagerness for oral (and
to a lesser extent vaginal) sex and to make girls enjoy making boys ejaculate
in their mouths and enjoy swallowing semen. But over time, and especially when
she was moved to another CoG location, it began to bother her to participate in
sex with kids so much younger than herself. Her dissatisfaction led her to the
same opinion that Mom's Friend had which led to the rules at Mom's Friend's
House relating to pubic hair as a qualification for sexual activity and
restricting sex to partners of the same age, or nearly so. Mom's Friend, at a
different CoG installation, had a similar responsibility. She implemented many
of the ideas that she would later bring to Mom's Friend's House -- insofar as
they were consistent with respect and safety and health for the child -- such
as encouraging children to show off guilelessly their sex parts, as in keeping
their legs apart when seated, and never being shy or embarrassed by an
erection.

 

There is nothing
wrong in letting even pre-pubescent kids watch adolescents and adults at oral
and vaginal sex -- indeed that's the whole point of recognizing sex as
religious expression and as means of evangelizing. But once an older person
touches a younger one with a view to sexual pleasure it becomes exploitation
and abuse. Mom, whether at the CoG or at Mom's Friend's House, would not have
intervened if, say, a pre-pubescent girl and boy were seen engaged in oral sex.
But it was not something that should be encouraged and at Mom's Friend's House
if it happened it was done out of sight. The rule was that there should be some
pubic hair: whether there was semen was beside the point, and indeed there were
times when a boy and a girl would celebrate over some small bit of semen he had
ejaculated. I did that myself when the first time I would have oral sex with a
boy he would have a dry orgasm but, weeks or a couple of months later, the next
time we did it, some semen would drip into my mouth from his penis. I would
want to do it again at a future date, then, when he would have a real
ejaculation.  

 

There was less supervision
at the First House, and indeed as longtime readers will recall when I was just
11 I got inspired to help a boy who was masturbating. That's something that
would not have happened at Mom's Friend's House -- both because of the same-age
rule and because masturbation itself was condemned as unbiblical, among other
things. I think probably, at that age, I found it amusing when a boy of 9 or 10
had an erection and when a girl made a fuss about it. But unlike at the CoG,
penetrative sex in the sense of penis in vagina did not happen. I guess it was
mostly masturbation but there was some immature oral sex among just a few
children. According to Mom there was much more of that sort of thing at some of
the CoG sites where she was in the beginning. Once she began being detailed to
seduce politicians and government officials she was largely out of the CoG
mainstream; it was only after I was born that she had to face the issue again
-- and that, of course, led her to quit the Church. 

 

Adolescents, from
CoG times to later on at the First House and then at Mom's Friend's house loved
to show off having sex -- to their peers, to parents, to friends, to brothers
and sisters. (Peer attitudes are the major factor in adolescent sexuality,
which is why open sexuality and promoting sex in tandem were so important. 

http://tinyurl.com/5sllma
("Correlates of Oral Sex and Vaginal Intercourse in Early and Middle
Adolescence").) That I think was the best part of what Mom's Friend took
from the CoG, although it turns out that it was probably an aberration within
the CoG. Even today I love to make love around Mom and I love her to see my
partner's penis as I bring it to erection, and again as I make it ejaculate.
That's true even today and even though Mom, because of her disabling illness,
rarely has an opportunity to have sex herself. Every so often one of her old
friends will come by, and at the last two reunions one of the young men who'd
grown up at Mom's Friend's House and respected her greatly would take the
initiative to flirt, and then when she responded would let her play with his
penis, put it in her mouth and make it ejaculate. I thought it sweet when, in
each case, the boy knelt in front of her, lifted up her skirt, pulled down her
panties and brought her to orgasm orally. Mom is only in her 50s and should be
in her prime; it's really sad that she's been so unwell. As an article in the
Los Angeles Times pointed out, even the elderly should rightly pursue orgasm: http://tinyurl.com/5mb45s

 

There was a time,
when I showed up at Mom's with The Blond-Haired Boy and we were at the pool and
I made a point of taking his penis into my mouth and showing off his
ejaculation that Mom said it reminded her of those old days. Well I suppose it
would. She chuckled at the dried semen that I left on my breasts as a trophy for
hours that day.

 

There have been
several academic studies of flirty fishing, such as http://tinyurl.com/6dos9r .
Some girls and women, and many children, were damaged by the sexual mandates of
the CoG. Equally, many were not and that includes Mom and her friends and those
I write about. Mom's Friend tried to help and protect "damaged goods"
too; but her commune was unsuitable for those who wanted to escape from sex and
all she could do for those was provide temporary refuge and lodging and warn
them to stay away from the pool and recreation room where sexual activities
were rampant. 

 

Mom came to love
sex for its own sake and to relate it, as all of us did later at Mom's Friend's
House, to romance and passion, rather than love -- except of course in a
marital or monogamous relationship -- as well as to religion. She regretted
that in her day and in the CoG there sex was not sport as well as religion:
there were no nude dance parties, coming-out parties, flirty birthday parties
and the like. Neither was sex a family-and-friends affair, although there were
some exceptions to that and not a few mothers in the CoG watched their sons and
daughters having sex, whether with childminders or teachers or classmates. One
thing that Mom found, and that she taught any girl who would listen, is that
oral sex has a higher priority than perfection of body. Just as half of women
who are divorced in their 50s are divorced because of sexual dysfunction of one
sort or another, the girl or woman who gives and receives oral sex with delight
and pleasure will -- as Joan Garrity ("J", the author of "The
Sensuous Woman") wrote -- have stability and sexual satisfaction in
marriage. It is certainly true that flat-chested girls at Mom's Friend's House
who flirted well and who took the trouble to make sensuous, slow love to boys'
penises and who enjoyed the ejaculated semen had as good a record of dates and
marriage as girls with firm C- and D-cup boobs. 

 

This is a lesson
of value whether one attributes religious value to sex or not, and whether or
not the girl is part of any sensually-nudist or free-sex community, although
obviously the opportunity to grow up among adolescents who are enjoying sex and
from whom one can learn has value in itself. There are how-to films and videos,
some of them quite good; but few teens probably have access. Most pornography
is not only tasteless but has little to offer in the way of lessons; and few
girls are willing to put up with Internet trash to get at the few good examples,
although there are some of those, such as http://www.pornhost.com/5226403017/
which could be taken as a good lesson in fellatio for any girl, especially the
way the girl in this clip takes such pleasure in building up her boy's sexual
tension by sliding his penis in and out of her mouth and running her tongue
around its head. (A smile is very important before, during and after oral sex.)
And then, finally, making it ejaculate and swallowing a mouthful of semen. Our
nude dance parties were scarcely competitive events -- Mom's Friend would not
allow girls or sex to be demeaned by invidious competition -- but one did get
to see what best brought delight to participants and bystanders; and I think
most boys and girls would typically not have worked at mutual oral sex if they
hadn't seen so much of it at those dances. Girls would not have come to our
dances if they didn't so much enjoy the sex, especially the oral sex. For us,
soixante-neuf was a kind of dance too: you can envisage the couple bring each
other towards orgasm, mouth on vagina, mouth on penis, both in response to the
music.

 

Although younger
kids came to our nude dances occasionally -- the Big Breasted 13-year-old Girl
was one of those ( http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2002/38098
) -- it wasn't encouraged. After all, teens rarely have much in common socially
outside their own age-range and the same-age rule impeded sex across age
groups. It was mostly around the pool, or when a curious young teen would stare
at older teens having sex, that an opportunity for giving advice and setting an
example would come about. And that's good. I always felt that oral sex should
be taken for granted. I "always knew" that when I reached puberty I
would have this mysterious eagerness to play with a penis and make it ejaculate
in my mouth the way Mom did, and it seemed to me that all girls should feel
that way. And that every boy should want to kiss vaginas, to put their tongues
inside and make girls feel good, the way Mom's boyfriends did to her. 

 

At the CoG, at least where and when Mom and Mom's
Friend were there and active, there was more direct meddling in youngsters'
sexual activity. Yet showing younger boys and girls the meaning and method
of sex is one thing: but abusing younger children is quite another -- and it is
child sex abuse that caused Mom and Mom's Friend and numerous other girls to
leave the CoG. (There's an Irish Independent article on that: http://tinyurl.com/5ah3x8 : "Before age 10, many children
had to provide oral sex or masturbate the adult, leading all too soon to
coerced underage intercourse.") The press and the courts documented that
sort of abuse, and some of those documents are published on the xfamily.org Web
site. Teachers and childminders were pressed into service to have sex with
young boys and parents and elders abused both boys and girls in the CoG. The
abuse got worse as time went on and as David Berg got more decrepit and
perverted with age. Setting a minimum age of puberty and requiring boy and girl
to be within 10% of each other's age, and assuring actual consent and general
maternal supervision went a long way to curb abuse and to protect the interests
of children and adolescents. There is no point in denying pubescent and
adolescent kids access to sex -- denial is anyway impossible. But one can
assure a safe environment; and by providing a closed circle of likeminded
families and friends, one can assure that their sex will be medically safe.
Supervision is important, both from a health standpoint and for contraception.
At Mom's Friend's House the girls were all on The Pill or on Depo-Provera, and
in either case supervision (and of course a friendly doctor, but Mom's Friend
always had a couple of those floating around, and usually having affairs with
some of the mothers) is important. 

 

But in the time
period I am discussing, Mom had not yet encountered sex involving under-16s.
She was circulating among both established and new members of the Church and
being sent out to evangelize, first among the general public and later among
particular targets, mainly political and judicial. She developed her flirting
technique, and also began, her friends say, to exude that special aura or
radiation that tells the target, just somehow, that you want to see his penis
and play with it. The underwear parties that I've written about in other
contexts became part of this because they can start out quite innocently -- the
most innocent obviously being a bathing suit context -- and under the control
of Mom see her face get progressively closer to the target's penis and then the
penis be unclothed and pressed into her mouth. From Mom's standpoint, after she
had become committed to the lifestyle and the work, the measure of her success
was the alacrity with which the target reciprocated, pressing his tongue into
her vagina and working with her clitoris to bring her an orgasm. I think Mom's
success in her lobbying efforts together with those of her colleagues can be
measured by the almost total success of the CoG in avoiding scrutiny until the
very end. Only in hindsight and with the benefit of a couple of court judgments
and a handful of investigatory reports and the testimony of now-deprogrammed
former members is the cult's methodology clear. 

 

Yet the
justifiable criticism of methods does not ipso facto condemn the philosophy and
the theology. Religion cannot be a defense of criminal conduct or abuse. Mom's
Friend was among the earliest to try to correct and to purify the theology: to
keep the correct and proven relationship between God and sexual pleasure, to
preserve the use of orgasm as a theological, an evangelizing tool, and to
validate Berg's (and Kinsey's) recognition of the obvious: that children are
sexual beings. Mom's Friend added strict rules so that while children from the
age of puberty (the "pubic hair test") were allowed and encouraged to
enjoy physical sex, it had to be between boys and girls of the same age,
consensual, and supervised by friends and family. And safe. And girls'
interests and pleasure had to be foremost. There would be no room for modesty,
shame, guilt, hesitation; there would be pride in breasts, vagina, penis,
semen. And so it should be today still, except that social engineers have
created fear, have proceeded to abolish statutes of limitation and have created
a witch-hunting atmosphere of "believe the children" when the
"children" have been brainwashed as tools of to participate in
persecution and prosecution. This is an issue I have addressed exhaustively in
my writing over the past several years.

 

Mom did not
articulate the philosophy that she sensed: that philosophy was crystallized and
put into practice by Mom's Friend. Mom encountered it in its early stages,
applied it to some extent on her own and after I was born; and she and I lived
it beginning in 1993 when we moved into Mom's Friend's House. There, no boy
would have reason for embarrassment to be seen with an erection; no girl should
be deemed diminished or debased by reason of a mouth filled with semen. In both
cases the contrary was true: the promise represented by an erection, the
closeness to Jesus represented by the semen -- these are reasons to celebrate
youth and sex and the combination of the two.

 

It fits in with
our way of thinking, of family solidarity. Long-time readers may recall that I
lost my virginity before I was 12. I was tussling in the nude with a boy, and
he had an erection and we tumbled and his penis fell inside of me. Or so I
thought at the time, but later I realized he probably had staged it. His penis
wasn't very big and he must have moistened it just before sliding it into my
vagina because it went in so easily and painlessly. I was glad to be rid of my
virginity, something none of us ever considered precious or useful -- rather an
obstacle to the rest of our lives and to proper Holy Communion. But first sex
is a rite of passage, and one's mother should be there and I was sorry not to
have had a coming-out party. I was also sorry not to have had an orgasm my
first time: that's par for the course among the general population but not with
us. I did stage an oral sex exchange with another boy with my friends around
and where a good time was had by all; and soon enough I was able to share the
sight of my new sex life with Mom. 

 

But the best
sharing we did was probably that at the houseboat where Mom would sometimes
have sex with the owner of the boat, who was our landlord and with whom she had
a yearlong affair, and I would have sex right next to them on the bed with his
son. In fact I seduced his son just as I seduced so many other boys on that
boat. It was just a matter of getting into his private space of a 12-year-old
pubescent boy while I was scantily clad and bra-less and making him anxious,
catching him looking at my breasts past the neckline of my T-shirt, and using
that as an excuse to feel his penis, undressing him and having Mom and his dad
come in while his penis was in my mouth. The boy's penis lost some of its
stiffness then, but only for a moment because I immediately began to flick my
tongue on its underside and kiss its tip and run my lips lightly over its
circumcised head until it stiffened again. By that time Mom had his Dad's penis
in her mouth. 

 

It's often hard
for a girl to get a boy to kiss her vagina the first time they have sex, at
least if he's not familiar with boy-on-girl oral sex. So it's nice to have
another couple alongside and this time the boy could copy his Dad. I gave him
instructions regarding my clitoris and it felt nice. Then, when, again
following his Dad and my Mom, he put his penis in my vagina the total was more
than the sum of the parts you might say, and there was vicarious pleasure on
top of my own and I had a super orgasm and really welcomed the bit of semen
that he ejaculated into me. Mom took her partner's penis into her mouth
afterwards, so I copied her and got to taste the boy's semen mixed with my
vaginal mucus, always nice to do. Mom thought it was cute when, after our sex,
the boy's penis stayed stiff for a long time and he walked around that way and
I wouldn't let him get dressed. He came back many times after that, whenever
his father had him on a weekend visit. But eventually Mom's relationship with
his Dad ended -- as her relationships always did -- and we had to leave the
houseboat. I had the boy over to Mom's Friend's House a couple of times after
we moved there. He enjoyed the birthday party I took him to: it was one of
those parties where the birthday girl would be fancily dressed all in white and
after the cake her boy would undress her and they would have passionate sex -
on that day it was mutual oral sex, so it was really nice to see the birthday
girl's vagina high in the air being kissed, and all the while the boy's penis
was sliding in and out of her mouth. The guests would watch and get all aroused
and have sex too, and afterwards there would be a lot of exhaustion and bits of
semen on everybody and great chatter and carrying on. It was always nice, all
those guests paired off in sex paying homage to the birthday girl. The Boy
disappeared from the scene after that without explanation, but there were
plenty of other boys to take his place so it didn't matter much. There were
almost too many boys to keep track of by that time and I have to look at my
diary to remember who, what, where and when. 

 

The nicest thing
about seeing that boy during that year was the fact of his growing penis, and
that I was able to convince him he should have confidence in it, not worry
about whether it was at its biggest yet or not or how much semen he ejaculated
but rather how much pleasure he was getting and receiving. I think it's very
important for a boy or girl to start oral sex just as soon as she or he has the
hormonal impulse. That's why Mom's Friend had the pubic hair rule, and it
worked quite well. For the whole year that I lived on the houseboat ages 12 and
13 I really enjoyed seducing boys who lacked self-confidence and showing them
that, after all, they could make love to a girl. Pressing my body against
theirs, hypnotizing, paralyzing them so I could take down their pants and they
could not resist. 

 

Once we moved to
Mom's Friend's House my main preoccupation was sharing my experience with
girls, and encouraging them to have a coming-out party. Or, party or not, to
come out and to begin making love in front of friends and family. Girls should
not be self-conscious about their vaginas; showing off one's vagina is part and
parcel of flirting. Once that stage is reached, with a bit of maternal and peer
encouragement any pubescent girl will be ready to come out. One important point
was that, following Mom's Friend's rules, heterosexual sex should displace
masturbation. Ideally a boy should never have felt a need to masturbate, never
have had the urge, because he'd have been introduced to oral and vaginal sex
before he even realized that he needed orgasms. This was good for girls too
since a girl whose hips and vagina are still growing really ought not to have
to deal with a penis that is so large it may be painful. While Mom's Friend
always advised young girls not to do anything that might be painful, and
suggested that oral sex was always a safe option, in the height of passion a
penis may well push its way into a girl's vagina whatever her prior intentions.
If the boy has spent time kissing and licking her vagina, and if the partners
are the same age, problems are rare; but this is just one more reason why it's
wise for a mother to be on hand at the time. However, a coming-out party where
the boy has been selected as appropriate to deflower her and it's certain that
a proper protocol will be adhered to is by far the best solution.

 

(Some mothers
insisted that the boy chosen for their daughter's coming out would himself be a
virgin. But that, in fact, was usually unwise. A girl's first partner ought
normally to have had at least one prior experience of oral and vaginal sex if
only to minimize the risk that the boy might, out of apprehension, have trouble
maintaining an erection. Mothers who held to the contrary and thought it cuter
to have both boy and girl come out together argued that the girl's vagina would
anyway after being kissed and licked be so slippery from mucus and saliva that
even a half-hard penis would slide in, and that after the first few strokes it
would harden. This is true, but on the other hand a certain amount of
confidence on the part of the boy will embolden the girl; and of course a really
stiff penis is nice for her to play with, more certain to pierce her hymen
easily and is lovely for her friends and family to look at when it slides into
her vagina. There is nothing wrong with the mothers of the girl and boy
intervening with help and advice during the girl's first sexual experience, but
really the role of the boy's mom is best limited to escorting him into the room
and helping him lower his underpants to reveal his penis to the girl and the
visitors. And the girl's mom's finest role is to sit quietly beaming as the
penis makes love to her daughter.

 

(When I was away
at college one of my friends told me she was afraid to let her boyfriend put
his "huge" penis into her vagina. I told her to make him lubricate
her vagina first with his saliva, to make him bring her to the threshold of
orgasm that way, and then never to mind size or shape. Apparently my advice
worked for her. 

 

(For what it's
worth, the main instructions put forth by girls' moms on the occasion of a
coming out were, more or less:

-- open your
mouth, dear, and let his penis in

-- keep your eyes
open, dear, and follow the penis as it moves

-- he's about to
come dear, try to catch all of it, don't waste any 

-- tickle his
penis with your tongue, dear, you need to make it hard 

In each case you
just knew that the mother was eager to see the boy ejaculate into her daughter,
to see her daughter grow up sexually. This is something I saw time after time,
and it was and is true of my Mom as well. There is nothing more precious than a
lover's semen: symbol of romance, passion, faith and Jesus. And there is no
group more demonstrative than a gaggle of girls and women excited over a penis
- whether at a Chippendales show or at a defloration at Mom's Friend's House.
In the moments before the boy ejaculates there is no audience more attentive,
more eager, more tense than the mother of the girl and her friends. And no
female more beaming with pride than the mother and/or sister of the boy. Mom
hears from time to time from mothers who lived or stayed at Mom's Friend's
House in the 1990s and they tend to reminisce about their offsprings' first
lovemaking escapades and, of course, how they affected their later lives --
nearly always in a positive way.)

 

It's no use to
say that a girl should wait "until she's old enough". Ignorance is
not bliss, and neither girls nor boys should have to "wait" for some
arbitrary date, by which time their frustrated needs and urges will have caused
emotional damage and, perhaps, sexual dysfunction. Girls need to be freed from
the restrains of a sick society that denies them sexual pleasure despite their
having sexual bodies and sexual needs. If a girl's body can excite a boy: if
she has breastlets and pubic hair, then she should definitely be making love --
and doing it often. That's why it's important for her to be in an environment
where there are naked boys and girls, where on impulse she can smile at a boy
and flirt and play with his penis and make love. And have her mom nearby, proud
and approving, assuring her safety, while a penis ejaculates into her. I cannot
imagine a mother who would not love to see her daughter that way: a penis
filling her mouth and vagina not just with semen but romance, delight, humanity
and faith. The mother of the boy has an equal need to see her son's penis
making love, and indeed that was the beauty of our coming-out parties where the
two mothers, together, could appreciate the coming of age of their children.
And for the boy's mom to lower his underpants as he came into the room, revealing
his penis which would typically begin to get erect as it came into view and as
the boy caught sight of his girl, her legs apart, her breastlets, mouth and
vagina inviting him, has to be the epitome of parental support and pride.

 

(How often in the
1990s did I see young adolescents wandering about in the nude, a boy and a girl
talking perhaps, and was obvious that others wanted to see their sexuality come
alive, the couple embrace and fondle each other, the boy's penis make love to
the girl and, it was assumed, both of them find joy. I was scarcely the only
girl who, at the sight of pubescent teens flirting would encourage them to go
further on the assumption that they were just waiting for authorization to
touch each other's special parts. Mothers did the same, although quite subtly,
perhaps asking vaguely whether they "felt special" or "needed
advice". Peers would be more direct, cruder even:  sometimes a couple -- I did this too --
might come into their space and the invading boy would get an erection and all
attention would be on it as his girl played with it and put it inside her body.
Arousal is, as we all know, contagious. If the young teen boy's penis could be
made erect nature would take its course. The girl would be shamed almost if she
did not take it into her mouth, into her vagina. It was apostasy, blasphemy, to
deny the centrality of orgasm to faith, to the route to Jesus. Terrific Girl
was even more outgoing, expressive, even aggressive in that regard: she was
inclined to take command over the sex parts of boy and girl. Her breasts would
dominate and seem to speak for her: the girl was to put her hand on her boy's
penis, draw close to it, kiss it. When the penis finally entered the girl's
vagina, the couple should be so positioned that both partners and any
bystanders too could watch it moving in and out. Terrific Girl always assumed,
sometimes correctly, that every girl had penis on her mind the way she did. The
penis is a girl's best friend she said -- something I've repeated here and there.
To her, the oral sex clip linked above would say it all: the girl can't wait,
rubbing the head of her boy's penis against the inside of her cheek, for his
semen to spurt out and bless her. She will ask, semen seeping through her lips,
if he is as happy as she is. And then, if she is of us, she will spread her
legs and her boy will begin to kiss her clitoris and perhaps roll is tongue and
slide it into her vagina

http://en.allexperts.com/q/Great-Sex-859/sex-32.htm
)


A boy or girl usually needs to be raised and educated in a sexually-liberal
environment in order to cope with early sex. The alternative is intensive
preparation in the pre-pubescent period. Mom's Friend had a program to cope
with this, and I've discussed in some past essays how she dealt with boys and
girls on the cusp of puberty whose mothers had some background in the 60s
free-sex movement and who wanted, belatedly, to share that with their children.
Many of our "weekend teens" were like that, most coming with their
mothers but a few brought along by divorced fathers who had weekend custody.
The strategy involved peer conditioning and started with simple nudity although
the visitor might at first leave on his or her underpants. Usually one dip in
the pool made the underwear redundant, and also we all knew how to use the
"love bombing" and constant-chatter techniques that overcome
resistance. Over time and once a visitor became used to others making public
displays of affection and, in due course, having sex, he or she would belong to
us. First sex would happen in the normal way, almost always at the visitor's
own initiative. Occasionally it was at the intervention and suggestion of the
visitor's mother, perhaps with a coming-out party. A reluctant girl who'd
attended the coming-out party of a friend was rarely reluctant afterwards: the
sight of the boy's penis leaving the girl's lips, the boy lubricating the
girl's vagina with his mouth and then inserting his penis was just too precious
for any girl not to want to share the experience.

 

Some might
condemn this sort of parentally-sponsored peer pressure on an adolescent to
have sex as akin to David Berg's notorious "teen training", but it
was not that. The progression from outsider to bystander-voyeur and ultimately
to participant-exhibitionist was always consensual and invariably pleasurable.
Mom's Friend's House was constituted on the principle at every child can
benefit from sex once her or his body and mind are ready for it. It was run in
the manner of an educational and religious charity. Berg's cross-generational
sexual exploitation was immoral and illegal; Mom's Friend's was grounded in
consent: expression of true will. With her same-age rule she avoided legal
issues (although as I've said elsewhere the mere presence of any adult at a
consensual, same-age act of sex by minors creates a risk of prosecution in some
jurisdictions). "Innocence" is, however, a relative thing and there
is nothing commendable about prolonged virginity nor reprehensible about its
being discarded at any age a girl feels ready.

 

Mom's Friend has
never discussed her finances other than to say that while she was in the CoG
her parents had set up a trust fund such that the Church could never get at her
money and she could never waste the principal. And she wouldn't get any of the
income until and unless she left the Church. The trust fund paid for the House,
and it must have paid most of her daily expenses. But all the extras came from
contributions and I have the impression that it was appreciative mothers -- not
the poor ones, the ones she protected and sheltered, but the mothers of boys
and girls who came to Mom's Friend's House for recreation, and especially to
come out. Fathers were excluded from many events and when I would see a father
there, perhaps as a chaperone for a nude dance party, I always suspected that
he had paid for the privilege. Then there were the professionals, doctors and
lawyers; half were women and many had sons and daughters involved with us. But
others, like the Rev. X, seemed to enjoy their work a bit too much. Or so it
seemed to me, but what would I know. Whatever all that means, Mom's Friend had
the firm support of a large community of parents and of children who had grown
up at her House and made their way in life. 

 

All of us -- the
intellectual mother most of all -- must at the sight of penis in vagina, at the
sight of drips of semen, think of the eternity of DNA, of the link between the
act of intercourse of a teen and the beginning and end of mankind, of Jesus as
symbol of fertility and soul and central figure of our faith. In those
instances where the mothers were, themselves, nude, you could see their
emotions reflected in their bodies: breasts, nipples, vulva: the tension would
be palpable. And indeed it is something any female would feel, and why I liked
to be seated on a boy's lap when, at a nude dance party or a birthday party or
some other occasion I would watch a couple on center stage making love. To have
the boy's penis reminding me of his presence and excitement, to have his hands
caressing my breasts, to steal kisses and then, after the main couple, to make
love and feel his semen flow into me was and is the grandest feeling of all and
a reminder of faith and history and biology, spirit and necessity. I always was
glad that condoms were not part of our lives, that we lived and celebrated
having sex among a closed, safe circle of friends where we were free to be nude
and sexy and play with each others bodies in front of friends and family. 

 

How green and
lovely was our valley. Sad to say, religious communities are no longer safe
from intrusion; indeed they may implode or explode. Think of Jonestown (a
scholarly book has just be re-issued:
http://www.time.com/time/arts/article/0,8599,1859903,00.html ), The Family,
Ruby Ridge, Longing for Zion, Waco... All were, in their own way,
sexually-inspired communes. Ours was less threatening and less injurious to its
children but it could not grow and it could not last beyond its own generation,
more's the pity. Its spinoffs have emigrated, or contracted and maintain
secrecy: so much for the First Amendment and the Inter-American Commission on
Human Rights. And meanwhile, in mainstream America, teens are -- without the
protections that Mom's Friend offered -- feeling their own way through the
sexual maze at younger and younger ages even as the law is hardened against
them so that any parent trying to protect them and keep them safe is liable to
prosecution for child neglect or abuse, and the teens themselves, despite
various Romeo and Juliet laws, are in danger of prosecution too. (There's a
summary of the various state laws here:

http://www.childwelfare.gov/systemwide/laws_policies/statutes/defineall.pdf
.) While I'm all for child protection, such laws may be poorly drafted and lead
to prosecution of innocent, consensual conduct, as in the case of Genarlow
Wilson that I've discussed in previous essays

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Genarlow_Wilson
. Genarlow may or may not be a nice person, respectful of girls and their
rights. But he was acquitted of rape and convicted only of felonious oral sex
whereas vaginal sex would have been a minor misdemeanor. And the law was
rationalized after his arrest but not retroactively.

 

Love,

Carol

 





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