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Subject: {ASSM} Brothers and Sisters: Keeping the Faith
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"Among teens, oral sex is often viewed so casually that it needn't even
occur within the confines of a relationship. Some teens say it can take
place at parties, possibly with multiple partners."
-- "Teens define sex in new ways", USA Today, Oct. 15, 2005
"When your lips are pressed against a boy's penis at the moment of
ejaculation your lips are meeting his soul ... this is the time when you
may bring him to Jesus, this is when the two of you are closest to God."
-- Rev. X, lecturing to girls in 1994
Moses David said that we should be "sharing" our partners, and that
girls should swallow semen when they have oral sex. But above all, he said
that sex (i.e., "flirty fishing") should be the basis for evangelizing, for
propagating the faith, for sharing Jesus.
-- The gist of "Mo Letters" to disciples of the Children of God, see:
http://tinyurl.com/64plpz and http://tinyurl.com/56crhw
The regular nude dance parties that were the centerpiece of social life
at Mom's Friend's House for the 15-18-year-old set needed constant
management. There would be more than a dozen couples at each party, and at
least half of them would be random assignments. To make sure of gender
parity, one girl would manage the party and be there without a date -- and
would fill in if any invited girl failed to show up or (as happened once or
twice) couldn't or wouldn't have sex. The reward for the girl who managed
a party was that she would get to assign the random partners for the next
party: a powerful
authority since that meant she would be determining who would make love
with whom. The only restriction to that was the general same-age rule; but
even that rule was sometimes relaxed if too many partners would have to be
rearranged to satisfy it. And sometimes under-age guests would
inexplicably and inextricably present themselves: the 13-year-old Big
Breasted Girl I have written so much about was one of those.
From the beginning gender parity was maintained by requiring any boy
from outside Mom's Friend's House -- and that included members of other
communes and sex clubs -- to be sponsored by one or two girls. Sometimes
the girl would be paired with the boy she sponsored, sometimes not. Often
enough the only girl that a boy could find to sponsor him would be his
sister, and incest was of course taboo -- in many ways Mom's Friend's House
was very conventional, and rightly so since it was and is Christian-based.
But Mom's Friend's House was also very different, since making love was a
family and a community affair. If making love is a sacrament, then being
witnessed is a means of testifying to one's faith, in sharing it, in
arousing the viewer and thus in evangelizing. But there had not only to be
rules but organization.
A particularly complex web of relationships that I had to deal with as
the "invitations manager" at one party was that of a boy who brought as
sponsors his younger sister and his sister's best friend. The problem, I
came to realize, was that the sister and her friend were virgins, and while
they knew that the party would involve nudity they didn't know that it
would more than likely involve penetrative sex. On the other hand, the
girls were both 15, a common age for defloration in America. Still, a key
rule at Mom's Friend's House was "informed consent", so if the girls were
to have sex it had to be because they did so willingly, perhaps because
they became convinced that they needed and wanted it, or perhaps because
they were overtaken by the passion of the moment.
Guests at the Saturday parties, held about once a month, would show up
at various times during the day: those who didn't drive might be brought by
parents who might or might not know that the party would involve nudity and
sex: Mom's Friend could put forth a stern and conventional face -- hardly
surprising since she managed to keep her reputation and her commune and
her precocious constituency safe from meddling by the authorities for more
than a quarter of a century. In the summers there would usually be outdoor
activity around the pool in the afternoon, and a barbecue -- with varying
degrees of nudity at the pool as always. Between 7 and 8 pm those involved
in the nude dance party would be paired off with their partners and would,
by tradition, undress each other if they weren't undressed already:
sometimes to total nudity, sometimes to underpants. Clothes were kept in
color-coded and numbered crates which were then stacked and in all the
years that I was involved that provided enough security.
I was once told (quite off topic, but in response to a comment I had
made about women wearing veils) by an scholar from a North African country
whom I had to interview for one of my professional research projects that
to a man or boy from that culture, the sight of a veiled woman's angle or
wrist or eyes could be exceedingly suggestive. I don't know about that,
but I can extrapolate and agree that a scantily-clad boy or girl can be
sexier than a nude one. Of course the whole concept of strip-tease plays
upon that fact. As I wrote in my essay on those grandparents' golden
wedding celebration where the guests all wore expensive underwear to t he
dance, celebration where the guests all wore expensive underwear to the
dance and shed the underwear only when it was time to make love on the
fringes of the dance floor, sheer underwear may be lovelier than no
underwear. Be that as it may, most of the couples found it easier to
undress each other completely and put their underpants in the crate even if
that seemingly by default introduced a naturist protocol where guests
ignored, at least in public, each other's nudity. That would change, but
only once slow dancing began and boys cuddled up to girls and had
erections; and then, for sure, once the first couple mounted the dais and
began making love.
Nobody was likely to advertise being a virgin, and sometimes the fact
escaped even the other partner. But usually it was apparent: through an
air of shyness, modesty, surprise and wonderment. In this case, everybody
knew that the sister and her friend had been cajoled into the adventure.
The friend was paired with the brother, the sister with a classmate of the
brother who was a longstanding member of Mom's Friend's Community. Almost
alone among the girls both the sister and her best friend wore panties as
the party got under way. They concealed their apprehension with giggles
and talk; and the classmate - the longstanding member of Mom's Friend's
House who had been sexually active since the age of 13 and whom I knew well
and had made love to many times - used our regular routine of "love
bombing" and constant chatter as a means of thought control towards the
girls.
As usual there would be at least two hours of music and fast dancing
before the change in pace and the move to physical sexually-charged
contact. There was never alcohol or drugs, but the atmosphere itself would
be intoxicating and hypnotic. Sexual needs always seemed to build up
spontaneously so that, when the music slowed down and a soft spotlight was
turned on the dais, the appearance of a volunteer couple making love would
seem normal and nice. Other couples would seat themselves around the room
and begin caressing each other; by the time the boy on the dais would
ejaculate and his semen work its magic usually every other couple would be
ready for sex.
In the incident I want to write about we had two nervous, apprehensive
girls of 15, one 16-year-old boy with some sexual experience but carrying
as baggage a bit of guilt because he did not come from our ethic where
defloration is seen as a celebration of freedom and a rite of passage that
should take place at puberty -- but rather in the conventional way as
something that ought to be reserved for some special boy. He did not see,
as we do, lovemaking as romance and passion and religious devotion but
rather as selfish pleasure on the one hand, and a symbol of "permanent"
love on the other.
Of course that is nonsense as every American cultural expression outside
of some mythical theology can testify: teens have sex beginning at puberty
because they need sex, and girls are, for the most part, eager for sex so
long as romance and passion and respect play a part. Gender equality means
just that, although girls do need certain protections that boys do not.
Since I was running the nude dance party I got to arrange not only most
of the liaisons but also who would take to the platform to make love in
such a way that the other guests at the party would be smitten, and be
aroused, and generate a love-fest.
The obvious choice was Terrific Girl. Her boy already had a solid
erection when she pulled him along and onto the gym mat that served as a
stage. They kissed passionately and they fondled each other's sex parts.
Terrific Girl's breasts were nicer than most, bouncy and with big nipples.
Her boy caressed those from behind, and then his hand was at her vagina and
her hand was on his penis. Within a couple of minutes her boy was lying on
the mat with her on top, his penis in her mouth and his tongue in her
vagina.
It is lovely to see, up close, a boy kissing a girl's vagina from below,
pressing his tongue inside, licking and kissing her clitoris. It might
take five minutes or it might take twenty minutes depending on the girl's
libido and state of excitement; but there is no surer way to bring a girl
to orgasm whether this is her first time or her 20,000th. And when the boy
is done, the vagina will be wet and slippery with lovely mucus and saliva.
Meanwhile, Terrific Girl was running her mouth up and down the upper
part of her boy's penis, showing us the head of the penis from time to time
as her tongue ran around the penis's ridge and over its head. Her mouth
never lost contact with the penis, and her cadence remained constant. She
wanted to time her boy's ejaculation so that it would happen close to her
own climax.
Things don't always go according to plan, least of all with sex, and
when Terrific Girl's orgasm came on and she squirmed and squealed in
response to it she felt the immediate need of a penis in her vagina and she
moved around, lay on her back, and pulled her partner on top of her. There
is scarcely a sight lovelier or more fraught with potential than a penis
excited almost to the point of ejaculation sliding briskly into a dilated
vagina. The boy's handsome penis moved in and out, up and down, his balls
not so very tight keeping pace. Once or twice the penis fell out of the
vagina and Terrific girl put it back. Her boy ejaculated, and we could see
semen seeping out of her vagina. Terrific Girl must have felt it: she
gently pushed her boy aside, leaned over and took his penis with her right
hand and put it in her mouth to taste his semen and to extract what more
she could.
I wondered how much the Sister and her Best Friend would learn from
this.
I saw that Brother was quite excited at the display put on by Terrific
Girl, and he kept up his gentle rubbing of Best Friend's vagina and
clitoris without forgetting to caress her breasts with his free hand.
Every so often he would squirm slightly in the chair to relieve the
pressure of his penis pressing against Best Friend's back. And he would
look over to his right to compare what he was doing with what the boy I'd
assigned was doing to Sister. I could see that both Sister and Best Friend
were hypnotized, paralyzed by the strongly charged atmosphere, by the
nudity and the sex, by the lovely feeling of their sex parts being fondled,
by the hope and expectation of ... orgasm. I wondered what they, who had
not grown up in our ethic and our belief module, thought of semen which to
us is Host of Holy Communion and essential means of liaison with Jesus.
By now, Brother and Classmate were desperate to make love, and Sister
and Best Friend, if confused, were clearly amenable. I wondered if either
of the girls was ready to have a penis in her mouth and to make love to it
with lips and tongue the way we habitually and gladly did.
I suggested that the boys change places with the girls and I positioned
the girls just so, seated towards the front of the plastic chairs, their
legs quite apart, their backs straight, breasts prominent. I told Sister
to open her mouth and let Classmate put his penis in it the way Terrific
Girl had put her boy's penis in her mouth. I really didn't expect Sister
to respond to my command quite so readily, but open her mouth she did, her
eyes expressing not so much resignation or surprise or obedience but
willingness and eagerness to please and expectation that something nice
would result.
Best Friend watched, and followed suit. Soon two girls were making love
to two penises, and I had the feeling that Sister was very proud of
Brother's penis and Brother was very proud of Sister showing increasing
enjoyment of having a penis slide in and out of her mouth.
I did not want either boy to ejaculate into the girls' mouths at this
point. I wanted the girls to copy what Terrific Girl had done, except that
for these girls it was a defloration party.
The boys knelt before their respective girls and pressed their mouths to
the vaginas. The wonderment of the girls increased. The cunnilingus went
on for a long time -" more than 15 minutes, and Sister cried out. I did
not need to tell her boy what to do: he had done it many times before.
With reassuring voice he adjusted Sister's posture and then he forcefully
pushed his penis into her vagina. She cried meekly as if in discomfort or
slight pain, but the penis continued on its way: in and out, with traces of
mucus and blood. In a few minutes the boy had ejaculated. And then he put
his penis to Sister's mouth and once again she opened it and pressed her
lips against the penis, only this time drawing from it the bodily fluids of
Holy Communion.
Brother seemed excited by what was happening next to him, and he worked
all the harder with tongue and lips to bring his girl to climax. And when
it happened, he wanted Sister to see his penis, big and strong and stiff,
sliding into her Best Friend's vagina.
This was the first and only time, in my experience, that two young girls
came out at the same time, one beside the other. It was great fun for them
and for us, and it was lovely to see them, drippy and happy and romantic,
being congratulated and kissed to death by all the other guests and then,
at last, dancing the night away. How sweet it is that girl can take such
pleasure in seeing her brother's penis sliding into her best friend's
vagina and bringing happiness to all three: brother, sister, friend.
It happened that, Sister took quickly to the lifestyle, if not the
religious belief, of Mom's Friend' House and she and her brother came
often. I don't know why it is exactly, but there is no sight more endearing
and entrancing than that of a penis in a girl's mouth, and it is that image
that I hold of Sister today, with, often enough, her brother looking on
fondly. Whatever misogynistic and demeaning the general social discourse
on fellatio, the fact is that liberally-minded people recognize the beauty
of the act and the fantastic pleasure it brings to boy and also to girl.
Like Terrific Girl and, I hope, like me, Sister had style with a penis.
Think of a girl taking down a boy's underpants and making his penis hard
and stiff just by kissing it and licking its underside; putting it in her
mouth and slowly, slowly building up the force of sexual electricity in the
boy until the point of no return, and the spurting out of semen. The boy,
of course, must reciprocate. It's perhaps less dramatic, but cunnilingus
is the ultimate in feminism as well as the ultimate in female sexual
pleasure.
(It was always important to me to start with a penis that was flaccid
because I wanted to be directly responsible for making it erect. I think
this is especially nice when a mother or sister of the boy is watching
because she will credit you with the entire lovemaking process, and all the
semen, when it's ejaculated, belongs to you. It works best when the boy is
wearing underpants that you take off, and the size of the penis is almost
irrelevant although it's in fact nicest when the penis is one of those that
expands disproportionately when erect. I always tried to put only the top
1/4 of the penis in my mouth, and to show off the head every so often,
especially after the semen started coming out: older sisters especially
liked to see that. When I was young -- until age 15 or 16, say -- I used
to look to mothers and sisters for approval along the way, perhaps holding
the penis out towards them, looking them in the eyes. After I reached that
age, however, I more or less ignored the mothers and other onlookers until
after the boy ejaculated. I suppose I thought I had nothing more to learn
from them. And I certainly no longer needed any help in getting the boy to
reciprocate, putting his tongue deeply into my vagina, spending as long as
I wanted and needed rubbing my clitoris with his lips and tongue to bring
me to climax. And so on.)
It is fair enough to point out that rather few girls would take a boy's
penis in their mouth with a brother or a parent looking on. On the other
hand, to have a sister looking on is ordinary, banal. The difference is
the atmosphere, the ethos, and the ingrained vicarious pleasure at Mom's
Friend's House: the collective delight in the sexual pleasure of others.
But it seems to
me that absent an artificial social restraint, absent false religious
myths, absent damaging false modesty, no girl would need hesitate, within
the her own family and social network, to show off her sexual needs and her
sexual happiness: to play with a penis, to put it in her body, and to revel
in its ejaculation: in the Holy Semen that spurts out from it so
beautifully, so sensually.
(There is a Web site devoted to tracing the religious meaning of semen:
http://sacredsemen.com/ . Those who have written to me to question the
"blasphemy" inherent in the concept should explore that site.
(In conventional society today the fact of adolescents having oral sex
is recognized, obliquely. See this extract from a recent column by A. A.
Gill in the Times of London: "Most of my contemporaries laughed at me,
generally without humour. One friend sighed with fraternal fatherly
consolation and said he -(TM)d had much the same argument about a tongue
piercing. His 15-year-old daughter had declared a desire to have a bar in
her mouth. Why would you want that, he asked with commendable aplomb.
'Because it -(TM)s sexy.' What do you mean by sexy? 'Well, Dad, it -(TM)s
all about oral sex.' And do you want every man who sees you smile to know
you think so much about putting penises in your mouth that you had a sex
aid stapled to your tongue? This is a conversation no father should have
with his daughter. She thought twice about it. Not about putting penises
in her mouth, but because of the photos of septic tongues on the internet."
Oral sex is taken for granted among teens. And if this is so, why need it
be hidden from those to whom one is closest?)
The problem, no doubt, is social expectations and fear of what others
may think. Middle-aged women love to be among young men and naked penises.
They also love to see those penises in female mouths: indeed it is scarcely
news to hear that there are certain African and Latin American free-love
beaches where middle-aged women go to be nude and to have sex with local
boys. Do I hear the word "Gambia"? Does Gambia offer anything but
groundnuts (peanuts) and native boys with nice penises? If it does, nobody
has let me in on the secret.
I am reminded of the sexy birthday parties that we had, mainly between
the ages of 13 and 16, where we had parties like any other teen but were
scantily clad, and later nude, and then had sex, with mothers of many of
the girls and boys there and looking on. How nice, how wholesome, how much
fun we had. One time I attended a party for a girlfriend's 14th birthday
and we tried synchronized sex but for a number of reasons, mainly that you
can't synchronize orgasms and ejaculation very well, it didn't work out
quite the way Esther Williams' synchronizations in the pool did. Still, as
one of the boys said, it was cute to see a half dozen girls walking around
with semen dripping from their vaginas and sheepish smiles on the faces,
asserting ownership of their respective boys and in Panglossian fashion
acting as if this were the best of all possible worlds. A year or two
later there was a nude square dance and that was fun too. But in some ways
the parties when we were 13 and 14 were the most fun because they were
free-spirited. One, at a commune that had none of Mom's Friend's
restrictive rules, there was an oral sex party where the boys and girls
changed partners whenever the bell rang, every minute or so, and then when
the boy ejaculated into the girl's mouth that pair were out of the game and
the boy would then have to do oral sex on the girl. The last boy and girl
remaining "won" and then of course we all watched while the boy brought her
to orgasm and put his penis in her vagina for a second try at ejaculation.
To many, probably most, outside our ethic it may seem bizarre that a
mother, an older sister, even a brother, might be so eager to encourage a
pubescent or adolescent girl in their charge to act promiscuously: to make
love to many boys, to play with many penises, to show off seduction, to act
as an exhibitionist in bringing a penis to ejaculate and in receiving the
semen as either a religious message or as an affirmation of physical and
emotional satisfaction. It seems to me, however, that this is the natural
state, and that the "shame" that is attached to such conduct is forced on
girls and women by a self-loathing society. Be that as it may, Mom's
Friend's theology of adolescent sex had many followers, and it continued
without attracting untoward attention from the State for two decades. I
think it is only now that the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of
Latter Day Saints, the Children of God and various other religious groups
with a sexual bent have achieved notoriety that Mom's Friend would be in
real danger of denunciation and repression. More's the pity I think. Just
as boys revel at the sight of girls' breasts, girls and women enjoy seeing
boys' penises and it should come as no surprise that I have seen countless
mothers point out a particular young boy to their daughter and hint that
they would like to see that boy's penis erect and in her mouth. The
choreography of our coming-out parties, where a girl's mother would seat
her just so, ready for the appointed boy to enter the room and offer her
his penis, is the best demonstration of this: and the best illustration of
how witnessed defloration is liberating to the girl and uplifting to the
family and friends privileged to see it. The view would be something like
these amateur videos which provide sex instruction in the same manner as
our moms did, and later we would do, when we encouraged younger kids to
watch us have vaginal and oral sex, and to get as close up as they liked to
see how the penis worked, and indeed how the semen was so precious to us:
http://www.pornhost.com/4610122029/
and http://www.pornhost.com/4985934014/ -- and, for one of few visuals
that has been brought to my attention showing the technique of mutual oral
sex, http://www.pornhost.com/7216258740/ Part 2 of this set, at
http://www.pornhost.com/8826419177/
fails Mom's Friend's criterion on the "Onan test" because the semen is
wasted. But the set is otherwise an excellent portrayal of cunnilingus and
mutual oral sex, and the girl handles her partner's penis just the way I
did when I was showing younger girls the way to do it, and encouraging them
to start.
On at least two occasions, as I think I've written, my partner would be
a boy whose younger sister would be among the girls watching, and the point
would be to induce her to come out by showing her how normal, natural and
necessary sex is, and how oral sex is an essential part of it. And there
was another point: that a girl should know how to use her breasts
constructively to get and maintain power and influence over the boy and to
keep under her control his desire and urges right up until the point that
she has reached climax and that she has accepted his semen. Those who,
like us, see a religious purpose in making love and who, through learning
about and practicing sex in a social, communal setting have become
comfortable and making love in tandem with others. And the fact is that,
freed of social restraint and assured of romance and safety, girls can be
just as needy of sex, just as urgent in their delight of a penis, as boys
can be in their desire for her. The ultimate experience, test and medium
is, of course, semen: and the fact that those who follow Mom's Friend's
creed (like those who followed Moses David's dictate on oral sex, described
in the xfamily.org documents linked at the start of this essay) appreciate
semen as the ultimate vector of faith and soul as well as of lovemaking and
its sensual pleasure.
The videos I've linked to were selected by my research assistant for
their didactic value. I don't know why social engineers of the Sarah Palin
type insist that adolescents must be kept in the dark about sex until they
are 18 - a lot of good that did Bristol Palin! In a previous essay I cited
the cute French sexually-explicit comedic film "Les Petites EcoliÃ"res"
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0171617/
about a former brothel owner who opens a school to teach girls about
sex, especially about how to perform oral sex properly. The point is that
when teenagers start learning about and trying oral and vaginal sex right
at puberty they avoid the guilt and the neuroses that lead too often to
divorce, infidelity, impotence and frigidity later in life.
--------
With all due respect, even more important than lascivious drama for
explaining sexual mechanics is the scientific and medical literature. The
best explanatory article on that score, an academic paper on the physiology
of erection which also contains a lengthy bibliography, is here:
http://www.geocities.com/cobil2/andersson.html : Everything you could
possibly want to know on the subject. And in a later article several
years later the same author wrote on the pharmacology of erection:
http://pharmrev.aspetjournals.org/cgi/content/full/53/3/417 If you
neglected organic chemistry and anatomy when you were in college or if
you haven't got to college yet you may miss some of the nuances in these
two articles. At its simplest level they define the stages ("phases") of
erection, something that every reader can appreciate (p. 195, internal
references omitted):
"The process of erection and detumescence has been summarized and
divided into several different phases by various investigators.
"Phase 0 is the flaccid phase. When the penis is in the flaccid state,
there is a dominant sympathetic influence, and the terminal arterioles and
cavernosal smooth muscles are contracted. Blood flow through the cavernous
artery is minimal and for nutritional purposes. Electrical activity from
the smooth muscle of the corpus cavernosum recorded in normal subjects
during the flaccid state indicates that the cavernous smooth muscle cells
are contracting. There is a free outflow of blood from the subtunical
venules to the emissary veins.
"Phase 1 is the latent (filling) phase. After sexual stimulation,
parasympathetic nervous activity dominates, and there is an increased blood
flow through the internal pudendal and cavernous arteries without any
change in the systemic blood pressure. The peripheral resistance is
decreased due to dilatation of the cavernosal and helicine arteries. The
penis elongates, but the intracavernous pressure remains unchanged.
"Phase 2 is the tumescence phase. In normal young men, the most rapid
increase in influx from the flaccid phase was found to be 25- to 60-fold.
The intracavernous pressure increases rapidly. Due to relaxation of the
trabecular smooth muscle, the compliance of the caverna is markedly
enhanced, causing penile engorgement and erection. At the end of this
phase, the arterial flow rate decreases.
"Phase 3 is the full erection phase. The relaxed trabecular muscle will
expand and, together with the increased blood volume, compress the plexus
of subtunical venules against the tunica albuginea, reducing venous outflow
(the venocclusive mechanism) and increasing intracavernous pressure to ^¼10
-"20 mmHg below the systolic blood pressure. In a rabbit model, the
increase in outflow resistance was estimated to be 100-fold. Venous flow
is slightly higher than during the flaccid state. The arterial flow in the
internal pudendal artery is reduced compared with the filling phase but
still higher than in the flaccid state.
"Phase 4 is the skeletal or rigid erection phase. The intracavernous
pressure increases well above the systolic pressure as a consequence of
voluntary or reflexogenic contraction of the ischiocavernosus and
bulbocavernosus muscles. This results in a rigid erection. There is no
flow through the cavernous artery at this stage.
"Phase 5 is the transition phase. Increased activity in the sympathetic
nervous system leads to increased tone in the helicine arteries and
contraction of the trabecular smooth muscle. Arterial flow is resumed at a
low level, and the venocclusive mechanism is still activated.
"Phase 6 is the initial detumescence phase. There is a moderate decline
of intracavernous pressure, indicating a reopening of the venous outflow
channels and a decreasing arterial flow.
"Phase 7 is the fast detumescence phase. The intracavernous pressure
declines rapidly, the venocclusive mechanism becomes inactivated, arterial
flow decreases to its prestimulation level, and the penis returns to the
flaccid state."
I remember, years ago, that Mom's Friend and Rev. X gave a lecture on
anatomy for anybody interested that involved slides and overhead
projections (PowerPoint not yet having been invented), followed by
real-life exhibits of a couple of boys and a couple of girls, positioned
with a magnifying glass on a stand and a speculum for better examination.
Without all the sophisticated technical language the point was the same:
that under stimulation the penis becomes inflated and rigid; the girl's
vagina and breasts become sensitive and eager. And that the end result,
orgasm and ejaculation, is inevitable and nice.
---------
In 1998 I undertook a taping of mutual oral sex with a boy from
community college who had been, with his mom, an occasional visitor to
Mom's Friend's House years before and had some kind of sect-linked
background. But Mom's Friend found out about it and suppressed it; a pity
really because I thought it was quite clever. Mom's Friend argued that (1)
it was legally unsafe and (2) there were plenty of real-life models for
teens to look at and copy so "why look at porn, redeeming social value or
no". Whatever that meant. We hadn't in fact meant it as porn but as a
guide to safe sex. And who can logically argue that whether the partners
are 17 years 11 months of age or 18 years and 1 day makes a difference?
(For what it is worth, my lawyer bf tells me that we legally reach majority
on the day we are 17 years and 364 days old. Go figure. Well I guess I
can figure: the millennium really occurred on January 1, 2001. I like math
but I never could get into abstract algebra and matrix theory: long story,
not pertinent here.)
Most girls, myself included, find pornographic films distasteful or
ludicrous or both, but these clips, found by my research assistant for this
essay, have a didactic value. For one thing the participants (if older
than the clientele I am discussing in this essay) do not pretend to be
beautiful people or sexual athletes. And for another, one can see and
delight in the process of the penis approaching the point of no return and
then the ejaculating, and the girl finding satisfaction not only in her own
climax (at least in the second clip) but in the semen itself. This is the
whole point that is sought to be made by sharing one's lovemaking with
family and friends. The moment of ejaculation, especially, should be
shared, and that moment should not be artificial: the penis should be in
mouth or vagina and the girl alone should be in control of the event.
The sharing of joy, the sharing of the sight of romance and orgasm and
ejaculation and semen that is so lovely. Witnessing to the joy and the
holiness of lovemaking is evangelism of the finest sort. (We didn't have,
as today's pre-teens have, access to the Internet; and in fact we probably
wouldn't have watched Internet sex videos when real-life romance, passion
and sex were all about. But I mention these because they illustrate what I
am trying to say, and because as free-sex commune life diminishes (for lots
of reasons, not just official suppression) the Internet becomes the only
learning resource left for groups of kids who want to experiment sexually.
And it goes a long way to make oral sex universally, or at least commonly,
understood as a proper part of foreplay and the ingestion by girls of semen
an essential element of togetherness and communion.
Meanwhile, distinguishing between oral and vaginal sex in the matter of
sex education for pubescent youngsters is very important. At the first
sign of pubic hairs a boy or a girl can be ready for oral sex, but vaginal
sex may well not be appropriate, physically or emotionally. It is, in
fact, a mother's duty to guide her son or daughter in this. So long as the
urge is there, size need not be an issue for oral sex. During my year
living with Mom on the houseboat I seduced dozens of interesting
12-year-old boys and a couple of 11-year-old ones and I think I can say
with confidence that a good time was had by all. While it's nice to have a
mouthful of semen at orgasm, even the smallest drop of seminal fluid
sufficient reward. And of course in many or most cases the boy would be
happy to take down my panties and press his tongue against my clitoris and
push it into my vagina according to my directions.
But as Mom's Friend and her daughter Older Girl said so often during all
the years I was growing up at their place: the most important thing is for
a girl entering womanhood to come to terms with the penis even before the
first time she holds one in her hand. And to take pride and pleasure in
making it erect, and to anticipate the spurting out of semen, and to
desperately want that semen and to welcome it and happily swallow it when
it comes. That was the reason we encouraged pubescent girls to watch their
older siblings and friends making love. And also why, from the earliest
ages, genitals were presented as things of beauty to be admired, never to
be hidden: sources of deep pleasure that could be experienced just as soon
as a boy or a girl sprouted pubic hair. -"
Here's an example of seduction as evangelism in just that way. When Mom
and I were living on the houseboat, a boat owned by her then-boyfriend,
some arrangement was made for me to be introduced to a 12-year-old boy who
came on board with his mother. After lengthy preliminaries and a typical
on-board supper, his mother and mine, and he and I went into the big
bedroom. And the two mothers began to dictate what we would do. As has
been so often the case over all those years I was involved in the free-sex
movement, the boy's mother wanted to choreograph his coming out, and she
wanted to be there. I know this happened often enough in the Children of
God too. We were disrobed to our underwear, and the mother told me to take
down her son's underpants which I did, not without some perfunctory
resistance from him. He then took down mine, and I was left to try to make
his growing penis erect.
I really could see his mother's delight when I took his penis into my
mouth and tickled its head and its underside and it began to get stiff. I
massaged it, and I tried to calm the boy who was getting increasingly
nervous -- and that nervousness was having an inevitable result on the
strength of his erection. It took me more than 20 minutes to bring him to
ejaculation, but the satisfaction all around when his semen appeared on my
tongue made it all worthwhile. I then had to introduce him to my vagina,
and induce him to kiss it and to tease my clitoris with his tongue. It
took another half hour before I reached climax, and somehow I think his mom
and mine got even more satisfaction from the proceeding than we did -- if
such a thing is possible. I learned early on that the surest way to
delight a mother concerned about her son's growing up and perhaps about his
sexuality was to take his big-small penis out of my mouth coated in semen,
and to suck the semen back into my mouth to swallow, and then to show off
that clean, stiff penis to his mom and to mine. I always thought it nice
when the boy's mother felt able to compliment him, to admire his penis and
to say that it made her feel good to see me enjoying his DNA.
But then my Mom sometimes couldn't keep from kibitizing either, and I
can hear her now telling me not to forget to fondle my partner's balls
while pressing my lips hard against his penis and my tongue against the
bottom of its head. That, after all, is what I had seen her doing time
after time. She also would remind the boy to keep me informed, to tell me
when he was about to ejaculate, so I "could enjoy it more". I always told
every boy whose penis I was about to put in my mouth, if I thought he
didn't already know it, that I couldn't wait to taste his semen and make it
part of me.
I would see some of these boys in later years at Mom's Friend's House,
often at nude dance parties, their penises bigger, fatter, sturdier, more
confident. They would have to bring a girl and -- as I've explained
elsewhere -- that girl might be a sister or a neighbor, sometimes but not
usually a virgin. It was my job, those times when I was in charge of
assigning partners for a dance, to see to it that the sister was well cared
and that her dance and sex partner was the kind of boy any mother or
brother would keenly want the girl to have. By and large brothers wanted
to be there when the partner's penis pushed its way into a sister's vagina,
wanted to be sure that the sister was not just "consensual" but eager,
happy and certain to have extreme pleasure at the end.
I believe that a mother or a brother, someone who knows the girl well,
can detect at the moment of ejaculation, in the manner described by Rev. X
in the citation at the beginning of this essay, the presence of Jesus in
the room, and the flicker of recognition by the boy. And this applies,
mutatis mutandis, when the boy's tongue, pressed against the clitoris of
the girl and moving down into her vagina, brings her to the point of
climax. Orgasm cannot be separated from salvation anymore than the
acceptance of semen can be separated from the sacrament of Holy Communion.
Why else would a mother, a brother, a sister take such joy at the sight
of what is, absent religious underpinning, exhibitionist, voyeuristic,
conduct by minors so outrageous according to the norms of the outside
world? Religious justification sometimes, but not always, takes outrageous
custom and practice outside the scope of civil and penal codes. Here we
need only prove what is the "best interests of the child": and for Moses
David and for Mom's Friend salvation, the propagation of the faith and the
extreme mutual joy inherent in orgasm satisfied that criterion.
I think my nicest memory of my year on the houseboat was not on the boat
at all, but at a birthday party at Mom's Friend's House soon before we
moved there. It was what you might call a "puberty party" where all the
girls and boys had recently come out. It was a celebration of mid-puberty
and there was random sex according to Mom's Friend's Rules for coming out
parties, and it was lovely because even girls whose mothers hadn't had made
a celebration of their deflorations got to be made a fuss of. It was
almost as if it were in fact her first time when her boy's penis would
slide inside her, and of course she got to watch every moment of her own,
and everybody else's lovemaking because the bed was set up just the way it
would be for a defloration party. The only thing that, in retrospect,
strikes me as strange is that almost as soon as the last penis pulled out
of the last vagina, the boys went off in one group and we girls went off in
another, just as if we had nothing more in common, boys and girls, to talk
about or do together. On the other hand, that gave the cattier among the
girls the opportunity to gossip and critique boys, penises, attitude,
personality, whatever. A couple of those boys came to be punished as a
result, their reputations as lovers forever diminished.
But I can trace none of those bad boys back to those whose coming out
was stage-managed and choreographed by a mother or older sister. A number
of times I was the target girl of such a coming out and I would typically
stand there in my underwear (I didn't often wear a bra but I would for such
an occasion) and the mother or sister would tell the boy to undress me
("Start with her bra. Admire her nipples...") and then proceed to instruct
the two of us ("Stand still while Carol takes down your underpants and
plays with your penis"). The point is not so much to educate the boy on
how to have sex, something that comes naturally, but to inculcate respect
as well as sexual urgency in the matter of libido. One also wants to
immunize the boy against any self-consciousness due to inexperience, penis
size or fear of failure. Meanwhile, there is no such thing as a "sex
addict": libido must be channeled properly for a religious end, and the
boy must know and understand his bodily needs and functions, and the
importance of semen as a medium of communion. And he should be, or learn
to be, proud to be seen standing with an erection, showing off his penis to
girls and their parents. Circumstances and opportunity will dictate, at
least in the early years, how often he has sex.
(I discussed the aspect of dancing in lingerie and how it could be even
sexier than dancing nude and yet end up the same way, with all the couples
making love and the atmosphere incredibly moving, in my essay on the Golden
Wedding Celebration
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Collections/Alt.Sex.Stories.Moderated/Year2007/5
6008
)
In our ethic, masturbation is verboten or at least frowned upon, and
mothers valiantly assume that their sons have not done it and also for that
reason try to arrange for their coming out early in puberty. So I've had
mothers try to explain to their son what was happening and have him
articulate his rising sexual excitement. Boys who've lived in our commune
or visited more than once probably know well the mechanics, the physiology,
of sex. But mothers anyway tended to anticipate ejaculation and insist
that I made a big deal of the rite of passage: the boy's penis ejaculating
in my mouth or vagina. It was a bit of piece de theatre, but fun
nevertheless. And to see the palpable vicarious pleasure on the part of
the mother or sister when the boy they are sponsoring has ejaculated into
me ... it's rewarding in itself. But I always got a nice present
afterwards. I must have more than a pound in weight of gold jewelry, most
of which isn't to my taste and really I ought to have melted down and
remade into something I do like. Mom's Friend's House, too, depended on
the support of outside families to pay for upkeep; Mom's Friend's trust
fund while enough for the bare essentials could never alone have sustained
the charitable work that she did for single mothers and refugees from the
CoG and other religious and sexual-liberation movements.
Years later, when I was away at college, I was one of the founding
members of a semi-secret club where we relived our coming out in fantasies
like the above, with "mother" dictating what and how we would have sex. It
was kind of fun: indeed a good time was had by all. And I think that to a
certain degree I managed to propagate the faith and get other members, some
of them anyway, to appreciate the close link between faith and sex, the
Word (in the biblical sense) and semen, orgasm and sacrament.
It is important to note that almost never was the mother or sister (or
aunt or grandmother or whoever) sexually aroused in the process of
supervising the coming out of a boy or a girl, or both. More often than
not the mother would be clothed. Her satisfaction was asexual, parental.
The vicarious thrill was the knowledge that her son or daughter was passing
a milestone, a rite of passage and opening up his or her life to mature
religious practice, mature sexual joy. It is true that the younger the
supervising female was the more likely she would be accompanied by a
partner, and perhaps be nude. If there was any arousal on her part,
however, it would likely be indirect, through the arousal of her partner.
Which goes back to the rule that Mom's Friend enforced that no father or
other male, except a partner accompanying one of the girlfriends (and of
course the main boy himself) would be allowed to attend a defloration
party. And why fathers were only rarely present at a nude dance party when
sex was going on. It was enough that unaccompanied men might be around the
pool, and sometimes in the recreation room, when teens were having sex; but
at least they had a reasonable opportunity to compete for an unaccompanied
woman or girl in those places. Of all the fathers I knew, Terrific Girl's
dad was about the only one who -- without any room for doubt - took the
rational view: that for his daughter to have and enjoy frequent sex in
front of him with different boys demonstrated trust and confidence and
family love. For her to delight in semen showed trust and confidence in
Jesus as God. There is, in logic, something abnormal in society to see as
sinful or somehow wrong the fact that a girl or boy, having entered
puberty, should fail to be aroused by romance, passion and the sight of
suggestive or nude bodies. And that there is nothing more biologically or
emotionally normal than to make love and to show off one's joy at orgasm to
parents and friends: indeed to have sex in tandem with them if
circumstances allow.
As with parental satisfaction at the sight of offspring engaged in sex
there was equanimity on the part of sons and daughters at the sight of a
mother or sister with a penis in mouth or vagina and drips of semen on
lips, chin, breasts, thighs. This is because in almost every case the boy
or girl who came to us had not led a life sheltered from the sexual
existence of other members of the family. Just as I had seen Mom playing
with her boyfriends' penises and enjoying spurting semen and as a result
took for granted that when I had pubic hair I would be playing with a penis
and putting it in my mouth, so too did other girls of our ethic and
culture. More's the pity that all the children of the world do not grow up
in that atmosphere of freedom and liberality and mutual trust and openness.
Dear Reader, you have only to look through earlier essays in this series to
see how repressed society is, and how they have imposed such repression on
young people eager to express themselves.
But this is just another example of the generation gap in sex: little
kids ignore their parents and older kids having sex; likewise, with the
exception of boys and girls of a certain age who are curious and about to
embark on a sexual "career" of their own, nude others do not attract close
attention. After all, I saw Mom with a penis in her mouth and semen
dripping from it, or with a penis in her vagina and sighs on her lips
hundreds and hundreds of times: there was scarcely any novelty in that, and
certainly no reason to stare. Older Girl, Terrific Girl and all the rest
of the girls and boys at Mom's Friend's House would say the same: penises
don't all look alike, and neither do vaginas, and certainly not breasts:
but they are pretty much the same functionally within each category. You
may watch your friend having sex because you love to see her approach
orgasm and you need to see the traces of semen that prove that Jesus is
with her. But sex as such, conducted by others, can indeed be boring at
times. (Other times not: almost everybody likes to see girl's mouth making
love to a penis, and especially to see a trickle of semen testify to the
boy's ejaculation.) It is enough that one has the freedom to express
oneself sexually before friends and family and to witness to one's faith.
It is that freedom that we celebrate. That, and our closeness to Jesus.
And there is nothing closer to Jesus than a vagina and a penis, each coated
with semen and mucus, just separated and still thrillingly excited, slowly
losing tension as orgasm and the memory of orgasm spread through the body
and soul of each partner. To see Mom with her legs apart in a posture of
trust and sexual wonderment -- and that after her 10,000th orgasm -- was
and his heartwarming.
Speaking about 10,000th orgasm, because I write so much about our sex
lives and so little about our ordinary lives, readers are often led to
suppose that sex was the be-all and end-all of our existence, a constant
preoccupation and, accordingly, that everybody had sex every day. That
could not be further from the truth: we had academic, sporting and musical
lives. In fact, as I've written before, I think that throughout my school
years I had sex on average twice a week, perhaps more during vacations when
there were visitors and no school. Sex was largely a weekend and party
event: we were not generally
allowed to sleep in mixed company during the week, which meant that
there were no, or few anyway, hot and steamy nights. Those who did not
care for sex at a particular moment could easily avoid the environment by
staying away from the places where nudity was customary. If flirting led
to arousal, then a couple could move to the recreation room, or outdoors by
the pool, and going to one of those places was, ipso facto, a positive
response to the flirting. It may be worth noting here that boys seem
always to want sex in the morning when they wake up and girls are more
eager after a romantic evening. For us, sex was mostly in the afternoons
or during our nude dance parties -- something of a compromise you might
say.
---------
Brothers and sisters could only respond in such a progressive way to
their innate libido and to the call of puberty if they were properly
prepared for it. It was for this reason that common and family nudity and
sexual openness were so important: boys and girls had to know that as soon
as they sprouted pubic hair they would begin to have sexual needs and that
they could and should express them at will, spontaneously. And of course
the precepts of Mom's Friend, taken from Moses David's teachings and
amended in the interest of the welfare of the adolescents and the proper
biblical rules, had to be taught:
-- that masturbation was wrong and to be avoided: the penis and clitoris
should be mainly stimulated by each other, and by the lips and tongue of a
partner
-- that oral sex was an essential part of foreplay
-- that semen represents the Host of Holy Communion
-- that the girl is entitled to pursue orgasm and should take the lead
in sex
-- that sex should be shared, conducted in front of family and friends
to be enjoyed vicariously
-- that parents, mothers especially, have a duty to keep their children
safe, to see that they engage only in safe sex within a closed circle of
friends and acquaintances
-- that there should be variety of partners during the growing-up stage
of adolescence but that there should be only one partner in any 24-hour
period
(Granted that Moses David, like so many other cult leaders, was a
megalomaniac and indeed -- like Charles Manson, David Koresh and others at
the extreme, perhaps sunken into Weber's "radical anomism" (rejection of
all law, for his own purposes). Like Manson (and, I am led to believe, the
Rev. Jim Jones), Berg was entranced by oral sex. But bad reason does not
undermine good norm: I think that Berg's horrific (because they included
Nazi apologia on the scale of David Irving) later philosophy does not
undermine Mom's Friend's restatement of the basic connection between sex
and religion.)
It goes without saying that regardless of age or state of development a
son or daughter or brother or sister should feel and be free and eager to
talk about his or her sex parts and sex experience to a mother or father or
sibling.
It is true that in most cases, indeed the overwhelming majority of
cases, a boy being introduced to sex at age 12, 13 or 14 will know what is
expected of him. But there are those boys who become transfixed, frozen
and who need to be able to respond to a mother's cue: "let the girl play
with your penis", "put your penis in her mouth". Or, more importantly, if
there is some delay or impediment in his getting an erection, to encourage
and guide him. "Let her massage your penis with her tongue; concentrate on
making your penis stiff", and so on.
Beyond that, there is the point that if the mother has succeeded in
introducing her son to making love with a girl before he ever has had the
impulse or suggestion to masturbate -- as our faith dictates -- then he may
well need guidance on how to deal with ejaculation. If the girl is shy or
uncommunicative, as many are, then it is left to the mom to guide him about
letting his semen flow freely into the girl's mouth or into her vagina.
And to have the girl be the one to stimulate the ejaculation: the rule
against masturbation means that the boy should not be touching his own
penis in the last moments before orgasm.
Readers will be aware that 90-95% of boys and girls coming to our
community with a view to their first sexual experience will have been
long-term visitors, or will be sponsored by a parent or older sibling, or
at least will have been induced to come by a prospective experienced lover.
It is the very rare case where two adolescents have been induced by a
friend to come and neither has actual sexual experience that create the
challenge. The story of the Big Breasted 13-year-old girl was of that
kind: somehow she had (despite being 2 years younger than the normal age)
come with a boy to our nude that create the challenge. The story of the
Big Breasted 13-year-old girl was of that kind: somehow she had (despite
being 2 years younger than the normal age) come with a boy to one of our
nude dance parties. It was only after an hour of being in a sex-charged
environment that she wound up in a prone position, her legs spread wide and
her boy's penis poised to move into her vagina.
There have been other first-timers, confused sometimes, and the first
task is to make them want to disrobe, to have two or more other nude
couples nearby, and to instruct them, after a while, to copy the lovemaking
of the others: to put penis in mouth and tongue in vagina and to bring each
other to the pinnacle of sexual excitement and, as the case may be, have
the boy ejaculate in mouth or in vagina -" but either way to assure the
girl an orgasm too.
The fact is that if you have three or four couples and if two of those
couples are making love it is unthinkable that the others will not also do
so. And the beauty of oral sex is that it is contagious: the sight of
penis in mouth is so lovely and the pleasure from it so evident that,
however tentatively, a virgin girl will in due course reach out to the
penis of her partner and her mouth will be drawn to it. And, likewise, the
boy will soon feel a need to explore his partner's vagina with his tongue.
This I can attest based on 17 years' experience. In every case, without
exception, once the boy -- of 12, or 13 or 14 or so -- would get an
erection, the girl would be unable to keep her hands off his penis, and he
would be unable to keep his hands away from her breasts and vagina. And
this is so even if neither have so much as touched each other's body
before. And it has been true of "promise keepers" as much as of boys and
girls who came to us knowing full well that they were entering a community
dedicated to romance and, indeed, oral sex.
The challenge is simple to state yet difficult to accomplish when we are
set against a social taboo and aggressive social engineers: we need to
inculcate in children that they have a right, and indeed a social and
religious duty, to express themselves sexually in front of friends and
family. In other words, an erection is to be admired, exposure of the
vagina is delightful. Making love should never be a source of shame of
embarrassment, and the production and display and consumption of semen is a
divine duty. Of course even a philosophical acceptance of semen as
Communion will not protect a girl against gag reflex or innate distaste.
It's for that reason that she has to be shown how to deal with ejaculation,
how to direct the semen to the floor of her mouth for easy swallowing, and
how lovely the semen is once it is acknowledged to be the DNA of Jesus
brought down through the ages to the boy with whom she is making love.
I am often asked why having sex in public should be a blessing and, even
more, why I should be so eager to write about, and flaunt, the practice.
The answer is simple: just as conventional evangelicals must witness to
their conversions, to their rebirths with Jesus, I need to testify to my
communion with Jesus, something that can happen only at orgasm. I bring a
boy to Jesus, and he brings me to Jesus, when I take his penis and make
love to it in my mouth and in my vagina -- but especially in my mouth --
and when his semen streams into me. And for others to see this and to read
and hear about it, for me to witness to it, fulfils the Word and
instruction of God to propagate the faith.
Love,
Carol
P.S.: I cannot resist a comment about the election. As Mom said
to me the other day, "At least there will be sex in the White House
again." Indeed. And she might have added, "licit sex". (As I have
repeatedly noted, the whole point of free sex for the unmarried is so that
when a couple does marry it will be an intelligent choice, and one hopes a
loyal and a permanent one. Let us rejoice in the results of the recent
election and hope that unlike in the Orwellian language of the past
administration "freedom" will really mean freedom and not dictatorship and
spying.)
_________________________________________________________________
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