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From: T.S.Severe@gmail.com
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Subject: {ASSM} Indian Summer and Other Poems Ch.12 - Tomboy by T.S. Severe (m/tg, 
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Date: Thu, 14 Feb 2008 07:10:03 -0500
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Indian Summer
And Other Poems

By T.S.Severe

http://www.asstr.otg/files/Authors/severe/www.index.htm  Adults Only

Tomboy
 (m/tg, Romance. No Sex)




    "You're the new kid, huh?" The boy was bigger than me, older too
probably. "What's your name?"

    "Ashley." I said, sitting on my motorcycle and drinking a Mountain
Dew. There wasn't much else around there except houses and the Seven-
Eleven, so that's where I was.

    "You look like a guy." Another boy said.

    He big too and kind of cute with his buzz cut blonde hair and blue
eyes. I kinda liked him. They were leaning against an old red
Challenger, like a seventy maybe, one of the real ones and it was in
fine, fine shape.

    "So?" I shrugged and I was wearing some old jeans, faded to white
with ragged cuffs around my scuffed boots.

    A tight black t-shirt that had 'Dead Kennedys' printed across my
smallish tits. It was tucked in my pants and I had a white leather
belt with a big yellow daisy belt buckle in front. My long brown hair
was in a ponytail down my back and even without any makeup or anything
I knew my face was pretty. Real pretty and I always was sort of a
tomboy.

    "Nothin." Buzz cut said. "Most girls round here look different,
that's all."

    "I ain't from around here." I grinned at him.

    "I'm Seth." The first guy said and he had black hair just over his
ears and brown eyes, like mine except darker maybe. My eyes are kinda
hazel.

    "I'm Butch." The buzz boy said and I giggled so he frowned.
"What?"

    "Most people figure I'm butch." I said, but that joke went right
over the top. "Who's car is that anyway?"

    "Mine." Seth looked at it and he was right to be proud. "You know
anything about cars?"

    "Not really." I shook my head. "Too many wheels for me."

    "What kinda motorcycle is that?" Butch jerked his chin. "A
Harley?"

    "What?" I laughed at him. "Not even close, dude. It's a Triumph
BST850 about as old as that Mopar. Racing bike."

    "Cool." He smiled at me. "It's kinda big."

    "Size matters." I shrugged. "It'll do one ten..."

    "Is that all?" Seth chuckled.

    "...in third gear." I looked at him. "I drop the hammer and red
line's about one seventy, one eighty maybe."

    Seth frowned at me and I shrugged cause we both knew that six pack
of his might hit one forty on a windy day, but that was about all.
Still a nice fuckin' car though, it woulda been fun running him for
pink slips, but we'd just moved in and I didn't need to make any more
enemies than I was gonna have anyway. I wasn't ever looking, but
somehow it seemed like trouble always found me. That was the problem
with being a tomboy.

    "Shit." Butch shook his head. "That's fast."

    "Quick too." I grinned at him. "You wanna go for a ride?"

    "Hell yeah." Butch nodded, casting a sidelong glance at his
friend.

    "We got a football game with some buds." Seth reminded Butch and
then looked at me. "You play?"

    "Me?" I laughed like he was serious. "Nope, I'll watch though.
Come on, I'll give you a ride."

    Butch didn't make me ask twice and I think he was liking me back,
which was nice. I'd been in that little town for two days and I was
kinda missing my old boyfriend. I waited while Butch got on behind me,
moving a little slowly like he wasn't sure what he was doing. I kicked
the passenger pegs down for him and smiled over my shoulder as I
cranked the engine round, firing that bad girl up with a deep throated
growl and a bit of blue smoke. She was pushing forty though, so I'd
forgive her that. I'd have to change the rings again soon though;
Triumphs always were a pain that way.

    "Put your arms around me, scoot up. I ain't gonna bite." I told
Butch. "Don't grab my tits either."

    "I won't." He laughed, wrapping his arms around my slender waist
and sliding his crotch right up against my ass nice and firm.

    "Too bad!" I giggled and popped the clutch, screaming through the
gears just to see if the boy could handle a little get up and go. He
did okay for a virgin.

    "Oh fuck!" He screamed and we were doing a hundred down County
Road Seven. "Jesus!"

    "You okay?" I asked him and the bike wasn't that loud at all right
then, just purring and giving us some good vibrations, but mostly she
was smooth as silk. Just the wind made talking tough.

    "Yeah!" He gave me a squeeze and then directions to his football
game.

    I figured it must have been half the jocks in high school at the
field. A bunch of sixteen and seventeen year olds, a couple older boys
too probably. Some girls were around, girlfriends sitting down
together in their little clique, cheerleaders the bunch of them, I'd
bet money on it. The other girls, the ones who just wanted big strong
football player boyfriends, they walked around giggling, showing off
their charms like they learned it from MTV.

    Me being me, I drove right onto the grass and across the fifty
yard line to where all the guys were hanging out, waiting to start
playing. I liked the attention and besides, I had Butch behind me and
I was just dropping him off.

    "You owe me now." I smiled at him, taking off my shades as Butch
got to his feet.

    "That right?" He grinned at me. "For gas?"

    "For not abusing you." I giggled. "Take me out later."

    "I don't have a car." He shrugged and there were a dozen guys
looking at us, wondering who I was and what we were talking about.

    "I'll pick you up, but you're taking me out." I said. "Okay?"

    "Yeah." He agreed with a smile. "You gonna wear a dress?"

    "Course I am, if it's a real date." I smiled. "But if all you
wanna do is make out..."

    "Huh?" He even blushed for me, that big strong buzz cut boy and my
heart gave a little stomp.

    "Where do you live?" I asked him.

    "Fourth street, eight forty." He told me. "Look for a big blue
house, it's the only one. You can't miss it."

    "Cool." I grinned at him. "Bout seven, alright?"

    "Yeah." He nodded, looking around and licking his lips.

    "Hey!" I said, putting my sunglasses back on. "You got a
girlfriend?"

    "Uh...Sorta." Butch nodded and some of the guys were smiling,
talking about it, which was why I'd asked.

    "Dump her." I giggled. "I don't share too good."

    "Shit." Some guy laughed and he looked like the quarterback, the
most handsome boy in school and he knew it. You know the type. "Who
are you?"

    "I'm Butch's girlfriend." I smiled and took off, very much
enjoying life right about then.

=-=-=-=-=        =-=-=-=-=        =-=-=-=-=        =-=-=-=-=        =-
=-=-=-=        =-=-=-=-=

    "Where have you been?" My sister Steph was still unpacking, me too
except I just left everything in the boxes til I needed it.

    "Sight seeing." I shrugged, crossing her room to her closet.

    "What are you doing?" She blinked at me and she was sixteen, a
year younger than me, but about the same size. I wasn't very big at
all physically. We looked a lot alike.

    "I need to borrow a dress." I frowned, looking through her closet.
"You unpacked everything?"

    "Borrow a dress? For what?" She started getting up. "You got a
boyfriend already?"

    "Yeah." I giggled. "It was easy."

    "That's sick." She was scowling and I hated that cause I loved her
a lot. Steph was my best friend in the whole world. Sometimes my only
friend.

    "What?" I looked at her.

    "You got a boyfriend in like two days and I don't know anybody!"

    "You just gotta go outside and..." I started smiling.

    "And you ain't even a girl!" She shook her head. "How does that
work?"

    "I don't know." I shrugged, refusing to feel guilty about it. "I
just said hi to him."

    "Did you tell him you're a boy?" She asked and I sorta rolled my
eyes. "He's gonna kick your butt."

    "No he won't." I scrunched up my nose. "He's pretty sweet."

    "We aren't in New York any more, Ash." My sister crossed her arms
and stared at me. "This is like Rodeoville. They beat people up for
being different here."

    "Rodeoville?" I giggled. "No, he's cool. I mean, you can tell, you
know? I'll tell him tonight."

    "Mom and dad figured you'd like...Snap out of it." Steph sighed.
"Like moving to a new place, you know?"

    "I know." I said. "There ain't nothing to snap out of though. I'm
just me. They're used to it anyway."

    "Yeah." Steph nodded. "But that don't mean they like it."

    "I know." I turned around cause I didn't want to talk about that
stuff anymore. "Where's that blue dress at? The one with the lace and
stuff."

    "Right in front of you." Steph laughed and she relaxed a bit.

    My sister couldn't ever stay unhappy for too long and she'd get
her own boyfriend quick enough anyway, if she wasn't too shy.
Stephanie was almost as pretty as me. Everybody said so and I think it
bothered her sometimes, but even Steph had to agree I was a lot better
at being a girl than I was at being a boy, but that wasn't really true
either. I was best at being a tomboy, kind of a girl with some boy in
me, you know? It sounds silly, but it's true.

    If I tried to be all boy, I was hopeless. If I tried to be all
girl, it just didn't work cause I wasn't. But if I was a girl with boy
parts, I was right at home in myself then. It's why I was so good at
being a tomboy and like that day, on my motorcycle messing with Butch
and his friends, I felt like nobody could hurt me. Like I was
bulletproof, you know? I could say anything or do anything and nobody
could stop me. Nobody could hurt me or beat me up or call me names. It
was the best feeling in the world. When I was a tomboy, I was me.
Sometimes I forgot that.

    "Hi Daddy!" I came downstairs for dinner wearing my sister's
dress.

    I had my own dresses, but this one sorta fit in with Rodeoville,
as Steph had called it and she was right about that. We were in the
sticks, compared with New York City, and I was a little miffed about
moving.

    "Hey Ashley." Daddy smiled when he saw me, even though I knew he
wanted a son. "Wow, look at you! All dressed up."

    "Yeah." I smiled happily. "Do I look okay?"

    I posed a little for him, turning around so he could see me. I was
slender, with narrow hips and small breasts, just A-cups thanks to
some pills I got from the doctors, estrogen and stuff like that. My
hair was loose now, long and wavy, silky brown around my freshly
scrubbed face. I put on a little make-up, but not too much. The dress
was thin, one of those cotton summer dresses that buttoned up the back
with a little white sash tied around my waist. Some white lace around
the short sleeves and hemline. It was nice and underneath I had one of
my bras, the soft one, not the hard one, and a pair of plain white
panties.

    "You're very pretty." Daddy told me and he hid his reluctance
pretty well. "What's the occasion?"

    "Oh, I got a date." I giggled. "I'm going to pick him up at
seven."

    "I...see..." Daddy blinked at that. "...That was quick."

    "Well, he said hi and I said hi and next thing you know..." I stuck
the tip of my tongue out.

    "You were giving him a ride?" Daddy chuckled. "You be careful on
that bike, don't hit a cow or something."

    "I'm careful, Daddy!"

    "Hey, there you are. Dinner's ready." Mom was sticking her head
out the kitchen door. "Ashley, get your sister...Get her, don't yell..."

    "Kay mom." I rolled my eyes.

    "And why are you all dressed up?" Mom stared at me.

    "She's got a date." My dad said. "With a boy."

    "Hmmm..." Mom pursed her lips and she and dad shared a look, but I
was used to that and they were too. I wasn't gonna change.

    "This boy got a name?" My dad asked over dinner.

    "Butch." I nodded. "He's a senior, like me."

    "Butch?" Steph laughed and had to cover her mouth before she made
a real mess.

    "Stephanie!" Mom frowned at her.

    "Sorry." Steph swallowed hard and drank a little water. "You're
kidding right? His name isn't really Butch, is it?"

    "Yeah." I giggled. "It really is."

    "What's wrong with Butch?" My mom wondered and she was like from
another planet sometimes.

    "I don't know, dear." My dad said but he was chuckling softly.

    "Hey!" I looked at my sister. "He's got a friend named Seth,
pretty cute. He's got an old Challenger too."

    "An old who?" Steph asked and she was hopeless with anything
outside home economics.

    "What year?" Dad asked cause he was the one I got my motor skills
from and he did like that much about me, except I didn't really apply
it except to my Triumph.

    "Seventy, looked like." I shrugged. "Maybe seventy-one. Pretty
stock too, you'd like it."

    "What's he look like?" Steph wondered, picking at her mashed
potatoes.

    "It's red." I smiled at her.

    "Not the car!" She rolled her eyes. "The boy!"

    "Oh, Seth? He's cute. Black hair, kinda brown eyes." I shrugged.
"He's big too. One of those strappin' country boys!"

    "Strappin!" Steph laughed and mom frowned and daddy gave us a hard
look cause Steph was just turned sixteen.

    "You wanna go with me?" I asked her. "You can meet Butch, go with
us to wherever we're going and maybe meet that Seth guy."

    "Seth?" Steph pursed her lips. "Steph and Seth...That sounds bad."

    "Where are you going, by the way?" Dad wondered.

    "You pick your boyfriends by how your names sound together?" I
laughed at her.

    "Well..." She frowned.

    "Ashley?" Dad held out his hand, expecting an answer.

    "I don't know." I shrugged. "There ain't anything around here
anyway except the Dairy Queen."

    "Well Stephanie can stay home tonight." Mom decided and Stephanie
frowned, but she was sorta shy anyway, which was her whole problem, I
thought.

    "I'll tell him about you." I promised her and leaned close and
whispered in her ear. "I bet he's got a big dick too!"

    "Oh!" Stephanie gasped and turned like five kinds of red all at
once. It was funny. My sister was a total virgin.

    "What are you two whispering about?" Mom wondered and I just gave
her my innocent face.

    "Nothing mom." Steph and I both said in unison and we were pretty
good at that.

=-=-=-=-=        =-=-=-=-=        =-=-=-=-=        =-=-=-=-=        =-
=-=-=-=        =-=-=-=-=

    The trick to riding a motorcycle in a dress is to make sure it has
a long skirt, first of all. Second, you pull it tight around the
thighs and sit on it. Third, and this is important, you ride like a
bat out of hell to get where you're going before it gets so wrinkled
you have to turn around and go home in shame.

    There's another way though, much simpler and I generally prefer it...
Just don't care. Riding fast is still heartily recommended however,
because that way most people will wonder if they really did see your
panties or not, and also, the wind really feels good!

    "Hi!" I was combing my fingers through my hair and wondering why I
hadn't put it in a ponytail before leaving the house.

    "Hello." An older man smiled at me, an older version of Butch, big
and healthy with a buzz cut all his own.

    "Can Butch come out and play?" I asked him with a little giggle
and my heart was going pitter-patter because I'm awful with parents.

    "Excuse me?" The man blinked.

    "Sorry." I cleared my throat. "I'm Ashley, is um, Butch home?"

    "Yeah, he is." The man nodded and for a second I thought he was
going to make me wait outside.

    Ever notice how everyone else's family always seems a little
weird, but your own family seems normal? Except our own families are
the worst, usually, and we know it in the back of our minds. It's why
we always apologize instinctively the first time someone meets our
relatives.

    "Come on in." The man decided after a long second's hesitation.
"Butch! You've got company!" He yelled and I winced. "Butch will be
down in a second."

    "Thanks." I smiled at the man.

    "I'm Butch's dad." He said, standing there awkwardly.

    "Great." I nodded agreeably. "I'm Butch's girlfriend."

    "Oh." He frowned at that. "I thought he was dating Linda?"

    "He was." I sighed airily. "But Linda came down with a rabid case
of syphilis, so..."

    "Excuse me?" The man blinked hard.

    "Well, that's what I heard." I bit my lip. "Or was it gonorrhea? I
can never remember."

    "Oh." He looked around, wanting to see anything but me just then.
"Butch!"

    "I'm here, dad. Geez!" Butch walked in. "Hi Ashley."

    "Hi!" I smiled at the boy and he looked nice, kinda dressed up in
jeans and flannel shirt. "Are we going to a rodeo?"

    "What?" Butch gave me a confused smile and I'd sorta forgotten I
wasn't a tomboy, as you can tell.

    "What's this about Linda getting sick?" Butch's dad demanded.

    "What?" Butch turned his confused look on his dad.

    "Come on! I'm double parked!" I giggled, grabbing Butch's hand.
"Nice meeting you Butch's dad!"

    "Uh...Bye dad!" Butch didn't seem to mind be tugged out of the
house, but his father was frowning.

    "You're dad's really nice." I said, holding Butch's hand as we
walked towards my motorcycle, but I didn't mean a word of it.

    "He's kinda weird." Butch shrugged. "Sorry about that. Ever since
him and my mom split up..."

    "Yeah, everybody's dad is weird." I nodded. "Don't worry about
it."

    "I thought you said he was nice." Butch grinned at me like he'd
caught me in a lie.

    "I lied." I shrugged. "Don't worry, I lie all the time, but I'll
always tell you when I'm doing it, okay?"

    "Yeah, I guess so." Butch laughed. "You're the weirdest person I
ever met, Ashley."

    "You don't know half of it yet, boyfriend." I giggled. "Did you
break up with Linda yet?"

    "How do you know about her?"

    "Me and your dad talked all about her." I said seriously. "He
heard she had syphilis or something."

    "What?"

    "I dunno, that's just what he heard." I was getting on my
motorcycle. "Are you coming?"

    "Where did he hear that from?" Butch wondered, getting on behind
me.

    "I think I told him." I laughed. "Anyway, you gotta hold my skirt
down, okay? But no feeling around down there, I don't wanna freak you
out."

    "Freak me out?" Butch asked. "What's that mean?"

    "Exactly what it sounds like." I said. "Hands on my thighs, I
won't drive too fast, just keep my skirt from pulling a Marilyn,
okay?"

    "A Marilyn? Yeah, um, okay." He nodded. "Where are we going?"

    "The Dairy Queen!" I grinned at him. "Where else would we go on
our first date?"

    "I dunno." Butch laughed. "There's a party out at Madison's"

    "Who's Madison?" I cranked my baby up and gave her some throttle.

    "Donnie Madison. The quarterback."

    "Oh. That guy." I nodded. "All the football players gonna be
there?"

    "Probably." Butch shrugged.

    "Cheerleaders too, huh?"

    "Yeah, I guess."

    "Linda's a cheerleader, isn't she?" I bit my bottom lip.

    "Yeah, how'd you know?"

    "Lucky guess." I sighed. "Let's go meet her. Where's this place
at?"

    "That way." Butch pointed and off we went.

=-=-=-=-=        =-=-=-=-=        =-=-=-=-=        =-=-=-=-=        =-
=-=-=-=        =-=-=-=-=

    "So, where are you from?" A guy was asking me and it was a real
country kegger and I'd heard of those, but never seen one before.

    "New York." I nodded. "The Village."

    "The village huh?" Another guy smiled. "Where's that?"

    "In New York." I said, wondering if we were speaking a different
language. "Anyway, it's nice out here. I saw a cow today."

    "Oh." The two boys smiled and wondered if they were supposed to
laugh or not.

    I looked across the living room and Butch was talking to Linda, or
being talked to, more or less. He didn't look very happy and she was
shooting me dirty looks like you wouldn't believe. I was already the
talk of the town, I guess. The tomboy who stole Linda's boyfriend like
twenty minutes after moving in. I kinda wished I'd worn something
sexier than a long blue summer dress cause most of the girls were
wearing their cheerleader outfits. You know, short pleated skirts and
tight knit tops, all red and gold. At least they left their pom-poms
at home, but it still made me feel unspecial.

    "Hey boyfriend." I slid right up to Butch, putting my arm around
him and rubbing his shoulder with my cheek while I smiled at Linda.

    "You can have him." Linda spat. "Bitch."

    "That went better than I thought it would." I giggled as the other
girl walked out of the party, a little embarrassed and a lot pissed
off.

    "She hates me." Butch sighed.

    "Me too." I sighed. "Hey, I know what'll cheer us up!"

    "What?" Butch looked pretty depressed and I almost felt bad,
wondering if he hadn't loved that girl or something.

    "You ever had a blowjob?" I asked him conversationally and about
six people gasped and then smiled at me.

    "No." Butch swallowed hard.

    "No?" I giggled. "God! I did you a favor, Butch! Come on!"

    "Where?" He wondered.

    "The bathroom." I shrugged. "Unless you want me to do it right
here."

    "No." He shook his head quickly.

    "Then let's go to the bathroom." I smiled at him. "I'll kiss it
and make it feel better."

    "Ashley..." Butch was following, but only because I was holding his
hand tight. "...This is crazy!"

    "I'm a little crazy." I breathed, looking down a hallway. "Is it
that way?"

    "We can't...I just met you!" Butch protested.

    "You're a virgin, huh?" I smiled at him. "Come on."

    "Ash! No...Please!" Butch wasn't gonna do it and he suffered from
being too normal. "Look, I just want to know you first, okay?"

    "What?" I stared at him. "You want to know what I read and what
music I like, and if I want to be a nurse or a teacher when I grow
up?"

    "Yeah." Butch shrugged. "I guess."

    "Hmmm." I swallowed hard and frowned. "Fine, whatever."

    "Don't be mad, Ashley." Butch frowned too.

    "I'm not." I lied.

    "Yeah you are." Butch shook his head. "You go like a hundred miles
an hour all the time, just...Slow down, okay?"

    "What do you want to do?" I asked him.

    "Let's go outside, go for a ride." Butch said. "We can just sit
someplace for awhile. I don't even know you yet."

    "Yeah." I knew he was right and I'd been acting pretty nuts all
day. I think it was a stress thing, moving and being different and, I
dunno. I wasn't happy, I knew that. I'd been playing tomboy in my
sister's pretty dress and that never worked.

    "You don't know me either, right?" Butch put his hands on my waist
and we stood there in the hallway just looking at each other. "Maybe
you won't even like me."

    "You don't like me, huh?" I felt like crying.

    "I like you, Ash. I do." He said softly. "I just...This ain't the
big city, you know? People around here move slow. Girls on motorcycles...
Heh."

    I giggled at that and put my arms around his neck and he was so
much bigger than me. I pulled myself close and he hugged me like I
needed. I knew I was right about him too. I always was.

    "I'm sorry." I whispered. "You're right."

    "Let's just be alone for awhile." Butch suggested softly in my
ear. "That'll be nice."

    "Yeah, okay." I nodded and lifted my chin so I could see his blue
eyes, feeling that little bit of tension.

    It was there, one of those moments that came out of nowhere, when
you're close and touching and looking at someone special. I wanted him
to kiss me right then, our first kiss, and he wanted it too. The
unspoken desire hung between us and I felt Butch's hands tighten a
little on my hips, giving me a small squeeze and I curled my fingers,
scratching at his neck like a little brown mouse. My nipples were hard
and trying to grow, and my cock was small but stiff now, tenting my
panties as I pressed myself against the boy.

    Maybe Butch could feel me there, maybe not. His own cock was a
lump against my tight tummy and I didn't mind that at all. Probably we
stood there ten seconds like that, which is an eternity really.
Everything else moves faster, all your thoughts and emotions, going so
fast that time seems to drag on forever. I had a hundred things in my
head, a hundred problems to solve, and one good kiss from Butch seemed
like the perfect solution. I started closing my eyes for it and then
he let me go.

    "Uh..." Butch smiled. "...We should go maybe."

    "Yeah, I guess." I blinked and let go of his neck, wondering what
I did wrong now. "Sorry."

    "For what?" Butch shook his head and we left the party with
everyone talking about us. I was burning my bridges before I even got
to them.

=-=-=-=-=        =-=-=-=-=        =-=-=-=-=        =-=-=-=-=        =-
=-=-=-=        =-=-=-=-=

    "Guffy's Pond, huh?" I smiled and we were sitting on an old picnic
table with our feet on the bench.

    "Yeah, this is it." Butch shrugged.

    "You got your initials in this table someplace?" I wondered, not
really able to see it too well because it was dark outside, but I
could see him okay.

    "Yeah." Butch chuckled. "Somewheres. Me and Linda."

    "Huh." I said and I did feel bad. "You guys been going together a
long time?"

    "About a year." Butch nodded.

    "And you broke up just cause I said so?"

    "Well," he cleared his throat, "I didn't really break up with her,
she kinda broke up with me."

    "Oh." I sighed. "You gonna marry her?"

    "No." Butch laughed. "I wasn't ever gonna do that."

    "Why not?"

    "I dunno." He shrugged. "I like her a lot, but I don't love her
like that. I never lied to her or anything about it."

    "Kind of a small town though, who else you gonna marry?" I asked,
laying my head on my knees sideways and looking at him.

    "I don't want to stay here." Butch looked at me. "I figured I'd
join the Marines maybe. That's what my dad did before."

    "Not gonna go to college or anything?"

    "I'm not smart enough for that." He laughed. "I barely get through
twelfth grade. That stuff costs money anyway."

    "Yeah."

    "What are you gonna do when you graduate?" Butch asked me, leaning
back on stiff arms.

    "Go back to New York." I said. "Find a job doing something, I
don't know. Go to school. I haven't figured out what I like yet."

    "You like that city though, huh?"

    "Yeah." I nodded a little. "I love it there. I was pretty happy."

    "That why you act so funny?" Butch was grinning. "Cause you don't
like it here?"

    "Nah." I giggled. "I always act like this, believe me. I'm trying
to tone it down some."

    "Well, you come on like a tornado, you know that?" Butch said.
"Like dropping houses on people."

    "Heh." I grinned and stuck my tongue out a little. "I just figure
a good defense is a good offense, or whatever. You know."

    "Yeah maybe."

    "You like it?" I asked him. "The way I am?"

    "Kinda." Butch shrugged. "I dunno. I like some of it, I mean
you're pretty funny sometimes. You're cool too, but like the blowjob
thing..."

    "What?" I laughed. "I'd have done it!"

    "I believe you." Butch said quickly. "I just...It's kinda bad."

    "I'm kind of a bad girl." I sighed. "My friends before, where I
used to hang out in the Village and stuff? They liked it."

    "Well, that's where you oughta be then." Butch said. "Not around
here."

    "You're kind of a good guy, huh?" I looked at him, sitting back
up.

    "Me?" He shrugged. "I try to be. I dunno."

    "Yeah, you are." I'd already decided that when I first met him.
"You wanna meet my sister?"

    "What?"

    "Stephanie. She's my sister. I bet you'd like her a lot." I said.
"She'd like you."

    "What's wrong with you?" Butch smiled.

    "I'm..." I sucked my lips and thought about it for a second, but he
was gonna have to know. "...I'm not really a girl, Butch."

    "What?" He laughed.

    "I'm a boy." I told him. "I mean, everybody's gonna know on Monday
when I go to school, so I..." I shrugged, "...I guess I wanted to make you
like me before then."

    "You're a boy?" His voice was soft and he sounded hurt.

    "Some of me." I said. "Not the important parts, but...I guess
they're important to other people."

    "What does that mean?" Butch asked. "I don't get it, Ashley."

    "I got a dick." I laughed. "I'm a girl but I just got a dick, you
know? It's stupid."

    "Oh."

    "You mad?" I bit my lip. "Are you mad at me, Butch? I'm sorry,
okay?"

    "You're a fag." He was mad.

    "Yeah." I swallowed hard. "I'm a fag and a cocksucker and sissy
and a homo and..."

    "Yeah, shut-up." He said unhappily. "I didn't say all that."

    "You said fag." I shrugged. "It's true anyway, so...I don't care. It
doesn't hurt me."

    "And you figured I'd be your boyfriend and then everybody would
find out and then..." Butch was talking to himself mostly, "...everybody'd
think I was a fag too. So I'd have to be your boyfriend then cause
everybody would hate me anyway."

    "No." I looked down. "I didn't think about it like that."

    "What?" He stared at me. "You thought I'd love you or something so
it wouldn't matter?"

    "Maybe." I felt my eyes getting wet.

    "You're a liar, huh?" Butch said and my tears were falling all the
way down to the ground.

    "Yeah." I whispered.

    He let me cry for awhile and I felt empty inside, like I'd thrown-
up for an hour and there wasn't nothing left. All my feelings, like
just puked out so I was dead and that hurt more than anything. I
rocked a little, wishing it would go away, that hurting. I wished he
would say something, or hit me, or yell. I wanted Butch to do anything
but sit there and watch me cry. That was like the worst thing he could
do to me and I hated him for it, except I didn't. I didn't have any
hate in me, except for myself maybe.

    "All right..." He said gently and I felt his hand on my back.

    "Don't touch me." I jerked a little, but not far and his fingers
didn't leave my dress.

    "Stop crying, come on." Butch said softly. "That's enough."

    I just shook my head, all hunched over and shaking a little, with
my nose all runny and my eyes sore.

    "I'm sorry I got mad." Butch moved, just a little, sitting closer.
"I didn't mean to call you a fag, Ashley. It just...Slipped."

    "I'm not crying cause of that." I said, squeezing my eyes shut and
wishing I was alone.

    "I know. Those words don't hurt you, right?"

    "They don't."

    "I know. Yeah." Butch agreed. "So you ain't gotta cry, okay? I
don't like it."

    "What do you care?" I sniffed. "I told you I was sorry. I am. I'm
sorry, okay?"

    "Me too." He was rubbing my back. "I never met nobody like you
before."

    "Never will again." I laughed bitterly and wiped at my eyes.

    "I mean, you said you're boy, but I can't tell." Butch said and he
was struggling with something. "You cry like a girl."

    "Heh." I laughed at that and even looked at him, real quick before
looking back down.

    "I don't know." Butch said. "Far as I can tell you think like a
girl too, Ashley."

    "How's that?" I wondered softly.

    "Like everything's gotta be your way all the time." Butch
shrugged. "Maybe not, but I'm saying it seems like it. You don't let
nobody argue or whatever."

    "I've been argued with my whole life." I looked at him then.
"Everybody telling me I was boy ever since I could remember."

    Butch didn't say anything so I kept talking.

    "I knew I wasn't, see? I thought I was crazy, you know?" I
shrugged and sorta ran out of steam. "I thought everybody was right
and I was wrong."

    "What changed your mind?"

    "Nothing." I sighed. "I just didn't let them argue with me
anymore."

    "Heh." Butch grinned at that. "I saw you today on that motorcycle
and I thought you were the coolest girl in the world."

    "Sorry." I wiped my nose and frowned. "Big disappointment, huh?"

    "No." Butch shook his head. "Not anymore."

    "What's that mean?" I wondered, sitting up because he was sorta
pulling at me and I didn't understand why.

    "If you were just a girl, like a crazy one?" Butch smiled at me
and he pulled me so close my left arm went over his right thigh and my
shoulder was under his arm so my cheek sorta found his chest.

    "What?" I swallowed hard.

    "That would be disappointing." He said gently. "But you aren't
crazy, Ashley."

    "Why are you doing this?" I whispered.

    "Cause I don't want to spend the rest of my life thinking I
shoulda done it." Butch told me. "Ain't that reason enough?"

    "Yes." Licked my lips, turning my head up to see him, and then he
kissed me.



End
T.S.Severe@gmail.com

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