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From: Andrew Jay <anc1iej@hotmail.com>
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Subject: {ASSM} The 57th Notch on the Bedpost
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Date: Wed, 11 Jul 2007 01:10:05 -0400
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<1st attachment, "The 57th Notch on the Bedpost.txt" begin>

Copyright 2007 Andrew Jay all rights reserved.  Intended for adults only.
This text may be archived/reposted to free public access provided the
author's name, email anc1iej (at) hotmail .  com and this notice appear in
the message body.  This story may or may not be fictional in portion or
entirety; any resemblance to persons and events are subject to
discretionary interpretation by the reader.  No fee or service has ever
been provided to the author for this document, or for product placement.

   The 57th Notch on the Bedpost, by Andrew Jay

   Firstly, lets get a couple of things straight: The bedpost in question
is a metaphorical one, and you haven't missed parts 1 - 56.  Rather I have
(but a couple of my memoirs are out there if you look).  Something happened
to me recently to make me reconsider the way I have done things, and as a
result, I have decided to commit some of the events of my life to writing.

   Stuff happened to me as a young man in the nineties.  I had
relationships, some good, some bad, some indifferent.  But the `55th Notch'
as I will call the incident was one that I remember like it was
yesterday...

   I should add that this really did happen to me, and I have used the real
first names of the main participants (I decided to use false names for
`Jonathon' and `Teresa' to protect their identities) .  I am Andrew, and
for those interested, I am quite tall with short brown hair and very dark
brown eyes.  It was the spring of 1999 when I was 29.  My friend Francis
was getting married to his long term (and first) girlfriend Jeanie, and I
was his best man.

   Jeanie's maid of honour was Kate - an on-off lover of mine (but now more
off than on) for about 4 years.  Jeanie had two bridesmaids - one a spotty
14 year old cousin, and the other was Amber - a delightful, lively,
talkative, intelligent, precocious 4 year old.  I wasn't actually her
father - I had missed out on the conception, but I was there for everything
else, so that counted for me.  Amber's mum Karen was in the pew behind me
at the church.  She was also an on-off lover of some years.  Maybe you
should catch up on some of my previous recollections if you want to find
out more about everyone.

   The music struck up, and the bride appeared at the door of the church.
She actually scrubbed up quite well I had to admit, but thank goodness I
had persuaded them both not to wear his and hers `Spock Ears'.

   Amber was gently spreading flower petals on the isle in front of the
bride - exactly as her mum had shown her.  The other bridesmaid looked
rather sullen, having been forced to dress up like a fairy.  Kate looked
fantastic - she gave me a little wink as she went by.  The service got
underway.  I did my bit handing over the ring for Francis (in fact I had
already done my bit by stopping his friends tying him naked to a lamp post
at his stag party whilst he was paralytic through drink).  The vicar - a
middle aged, slightly `gone to seed' man, droned on and on and on about the
joys of marital bliss.  My attention wandered.

   At the back of the church, I noticed a tall woman, about my age, who
clearly had a curvaceous figure, yet was wearing a summer dress of the type
that my mother might have worn.  It didn't take much imagination to guess
that she had some impressive breasts straining at the material.

   The service got to the part where the bride and groom kissed - I have
never seen Francis looking so happy.  His nerdy friends seemed amazed that
he had actually hooked a girl like Jeanie (but then, he did have a little
help from me).  The bride and groom went off to sign the register, giving a
natural break to the proceedings.  I turned to Francis' mother behind me.
`Congratulations on gaining a daughter' I said to her.  She was relieved
that she had finally got shot of her son.  `Maybe they will get on with
giving me some grandchildren' she joked.  `I wonder can you tell me,' I cut
to the chase, `who that lady is in the blue dress at the back?' I asked. 
`That's Teresa, my dear.' she answered.

   I was starting to form some designs on making Teresa my `Notch 57'.  I
decided to stretch my legs a little and walked to the back of the church.
`Teresa isn't it?' I asked the lady.  `Yes' the woman replied quizzically.
`I must have met you before somewhere - I know your name!' I quipped.  She
laughed politely.  I hadn't actually thought of what I was going to say
next - usually I get inspiration at this moment.  `That boring old fart
giving the service is a bit dull, isn't he?' I tried.  `My husband?' she
replied, giggling.  Francis' mum hadn't mentioned that little detail.  `I
am so sorry!' I said, mortified.  `That's ok.  I love him dearly, but he
can be a bit...  monotone sometimes.' While she spoke, I took the
opportunity to look her over a little more.  Her breasts were indeed
magnificent (or what I could see of them), and what little cleavage she had
showing was lightly sprinkled with freckles that also appeared on her
cheeks.  Her hair was blond and straight with a simple hair band in it.  I
found myself wondering what her panties were like.

   The church organ started up and the congregation was ushered outside. 
The happy couple emerged.  Confetti flew, and the photographer snapped
away. I caught sight of Teresa observing the commotion from a little way
away.  I needed to make a decision.  I had never actually gone after a
married woman before (admittedly I had a few married lovers, but they were
all married after I first fucked them).  I bet she had big, sensible
knickers on...  and amazing breasts.....  My decision was made, and I
walked over to Teresa.

   `Hello again.  Sorry about before'.  I told her.  `That's ok' she said
brightly `it was true' she replied, brightly.  `That he is a boring old
fart?' I parried.  `No!  That he is a little monotone sometimes!' she said
exasperatedly.  `I am kidding!' I laughed `you clearly love him very much'.
`Yes.  He is a very kind man.' she said - perhaps a hint of regret in her
voice.

   I changed the subject.  `It's a lovely church you have here'.  `It is
lovely isn't it.  It is 16th century.  The roof leaks like a sieve though.
It doesn't seem to matter what we do, we cant raise the money to sort it
out.' I explained that I was something of an expert in asset management -
maybe I could help?  We made an arrangement for me to visit the vicarage in
the next week, and I would have a look through their finances.

   The happy day continued on: The wedding breakfast went without a hitch.
I made my speech, which was littered with Star Trek jokes.  I made a few
references to the bride and groom both learning about love together, which
Francis knew was actually about him and his new wife, who were both still
virgins - they had waited so long, they decided they might as well go the
whole hog and wait until their wedding day.  Francis has asked me for a few
tips for when he got to the bedroom that night, and he studiously made a
list as I talked him through my top 10 things to do and not do.  It was
bound to last about 20 seconds the first time, but I really didn't think
Jeanie would care.  I was a little envious of what they had.

   The party got underway, the bouquet was thrown (Kate went for it, but
missed).  The happy couple got into the car together, ready for their
honeymoon.  I whispered my number one tip into Francis' ear as he got into
the car `Don't forget those pictures I showed you on the internet - make
sure you are heading for the right hole, at least for the first few times.'
The rest of my instructions had been at this level - there didn't seem any
point in explaining the best technique of oral stimulation of the labial
folds to him.  Not yet anyway.  Francis thanked me then said `Don't worry,
I have your list in my underpants.' Then the car swept them off to their
honeymoon.

   Whilst it is nothing to do with the `Notch 57' incident, something
happened that evening that I should recount: The party continued on for a
few more hours.  Ordinarily I might have picked up a woman, but I was a bit
wary of screwing a relative of Francis.  The older bridesmaid had other
ideas though - she had changed into some very revealing party gear and had
evidently been made braver by the freely available wine.  She wobbled over
to sit next to me behind a table in a quiet corner of the room.  `I think I
fancy you' she said, slightly slurred `but I think you fancy me more.' She
leaned over, and briefly pulled her skimpy top forward so I could see her
tits perfectly for a second.  Her breasts were actually quite nice - very
smooth and perky, and her nipples poked out in puffy cones.  Then I felt
her hand on my crotch, teasing my penis to life.  `Wow you are really
huge!' she said.  I had never considered myself huge, but I had never had
any complaints either.  It wasn't unpleasant, so I let her carry on
stroking me for a while.  `You ever had a virgin before?' she asked, eyes a
little glazed.  She continued to feel my hard cock beneath my trousers. 
`Yes.  Several times.' She looked a little deflated.  `So how old are you?'
I asked.  `I am seventeen' she lied.  It was tempting, but she was too
young.  `Pity.  You are too old for me' I lied to her.  `I am 14 really!'
she piped up.  `Then here is what you do,' I said confidentially into her
ear `you have rubbish sex with a few boys your own age, wait a couple of
years, then ask me again and I will show you what a really good fuck is
like.  Now piss off!' My words stung her and she sloped off sulkily.

   In fact she took my words to heart - an hour later I wandered into a
side cloakroom to get away from the noise of the music - these parties were
never really my thing.  It was dark and fairly peaceful, so I sat quietly
for a while in the corner and allowed the ringing in my ears to subside.

   The door opened and the bridesmaid I saw earlier came in with a boy
about the same age in tow.  `I think I fancy you', she told him, `but I
think you fancy me more.' I managed to suppress a snigger.  She was
stroking his dick through his trousers (I noted he didn't get the `wow you
are huge' line).  They kissed (`snogged' might be more accurate).  I
noticed one of his hands was squeezing her bottom, the other was massaging
her breast.  When she didn't complain, her pulled down her skimpy top
allowing her breasts to spring free.  He didn't think to kiss them, he just
continued his massage.  That accomplished, his other hand moved to her
crotch and was rubbing her sex - I couldn't see if it was through her
knickers or if they were pulled aside.  She seemed to like it.  He tugged
at them, and when they were off, he flicked them casually over his shoulder
in my direction.  She had taken out his dick by then and said to him `Make
sure you don't come in me.' Of course, like any man would in that
situation, her new found boyfriend agreed.

   They hadn't noticed me.

   They got down on the floor, and with no preamble, the boy, with his
trousers around his knees started fucking her in the missionary position.
She cried out as he first entered her, breaking her hymen.  He fucked her
fast.  It wasn't going to last long like this.  With a last thrust, the boy
planted his sperm in her, then slumped on her exhausted for a minute.  I
used the moment to pick up her knickers - I can never resist the temptation
to leave a woman knicker-less and full of spunk.

   After a few seconds the girl could feel something wet in her.  `You
promised you wouldn't come inside me' she complained.  `Oh, that's gross -
its leaking out!' `Sorry' the boy mumbled, withdrawing from her and pulling
up his trousers.  The pair started looking for her missing knickers, so
this was an opportune moment for me to slip away.

   There had been some entertainment for me after all.  During the rest of
the evening, the bridesmaid kept smoothing her skirt down, but every time
she moved or bent over it would ride up and flash her bottom.  For her
unintentional encore, she walked across the dance floor as elegantly as her
skirt and the wine she had drunk would allow, then she slipped in a puddle
of drink, landing on her bottom and her legs akimbo, revealing her lightly
thatched pubes and rather spunky pussy to the rest of the partygoers.  A
cheer rose from the group of drunken nerds who had the prime view.  Her
parents however, obviously failed to see the funny side and frog marched
her out of the party.

   When I returned to work the following Monday, I called the vicarage to
see what version of Excel they were using.  The reply was `What's Excel?'.
Why was seduction never easy?  I chased around finding an old laptop and
some software my company would give them - this was a charitable venture
after all.

   On Thursday I visited the vicarage, and once I had put my boxes down I
shook the Vicar's hand (he told me to call him Jonathon), then he
introduced me again to his charming wife.  He must have been at least 15
years older than her and a few inches shorter.  He was slightly balding and
rather overweight.  He still had his white collar on, and even managed to
make the introductions sound like a sermon.  Teresa was wearing a simple
cream coloured dress, which wasn't really very flattering, and definitely
did not make the most of the curves I could see she had.  Her hair was
partly clipped up on her head, making her look every bit a vicar's wife.

   I explained to Jonathon what I intended to do, and more importantly,
what I wasn't going to do (namely handle any of the money myself - that was
their responsibility).  I intended to increase their fund by 20% in 6
months.  Jonathon was ecstatic, and having convinced him I was not about to
steal the whole roof fund he explained that his wife looked after the
finances, so I should deal with her.  There was apparently something on the
radio he was looking forward to, so he made his excuses and left us to it.

   I set up the laptop.  Teresa had never used one before, so this first
evening was a lesson on mastering the basic controls.  It is surprising
what you take for granted - Teresa had never even used a mouse and found
the double click routine quite difficult.  I held the top of her slender
hand, guiding her mouse around the screen, then showed her the click-click
method of starting a program.  I could feel a little tension in her. 
`Relax!' I told her, `loosen those shoulders, and tap gently on the mouse
button - we are not trying to kill it'.  She laughed, and I went around
behind her to gently massage her shoulders.  I have had some practice at
this, and know how someone could take advantage of a woman using this
technique.  She let a satisfied groan escape.  This was good.  `You have
lovely hair.' I told her, and gently stroked a loose lock `you should try
wearing it down'.  I believe that a woman's reaction when you stroke her
hair will tell you how she feels about you.  If she shrinks away from your
touch, then you are getting nowhere and it is time to move on.  If she
plays with it herself or leans towards you to make it more accessible, it
is a good sign.  `I sometimes wear it down' she told me, and pulled a few
clips out allowing her hair to tumble onto her shoulders, making the small
lock I had played with earlier turn into a large swathe of hair.  This was
the subconscious equivalent of telling me she was wet and spreading her
legs!  I ran my fingers through her long hair, gently twirling it.  I
noticed she had her eyes shut, and wore a slight smile.  I ran my hand down
her shoulder and arms back to her elegant mouse hand, then I knelt beside
her.  `so you click gently once, then again...  then you get what you
need.' I turned to face her as she turned to look at me.  I was a few
inches away from her lips.  I could see every freckle on her cheeks.  Our
eyes were locked together.  `Look at the eyes, pause, look at the lips,
pause.  Repeat' I thought to myself.  She was subconsciously copying me.  I
moved very slowly closer and she matched my movements.  Our lips were 3
inches apart now.  `Pause for a second...  wait....  wait....  now!' I
thought to myself.  I leaned forward slowly and lightly kissed her on the
lips, briefly.  It was well received, so I kissed her again, then once more
with a little more force, gently flicking my tongue into her mouth.

   It was going so well - a textbook seduction.  That is until her husband
opened the door.  We sprang apart, still somehow appearing to be involved
in the new computer, although I would imagine any man with a pulse could
see that Teresa was somewhat flushed.  `Oh you have put your hair down dear
- I think it is tidier when you have it up, don't you?' Jonathon pointed
out.  `Oh yes.  It was annoying me.' Teresa replied rather lamely.  `Well,
I hate to interrupt your valuable work here Andrew, but it is getting late
and I know Teresa has a WI meeting in the morning...' Jonathon continued.
`No problem, Jonathon' I replied gamely.  `I think we are done here for the
evening.  Is the same time tomorrow ok for you?' `Well, er...' Jane began,
obviously having second thoughts.  `Perfect!' Jonathon answered for her. 
`Teresa, if you want to go up, I will bring up your cocoa as soon as I have
seen out Andrew.'

   The next day I arrived at the vicarage as arranged.  Jonathon was in the
garden and greeted me.  `Andrew, good to see you.  I am just seeing to my
marigolds - they get unruly if I don't give them enough attention' `A bit
like your wife, you idiot' I thought to myself.  `Is Teresa indoors?' `Yes,
go inside, she cant have gone far'.

   As instructed I went inside and shut the door behind me.  I called out
and Teresa came down the stairs and took me through to the study where I
had set up the computer.  I noticed she was dressed very slightly more
provocatively today.  Her hair wasn't down, but it wasn't up either - a
pleasing compromise.  Her dress, whilst not sexy, did have an improved
cleavage.  Teresa had very nice cleavage.

   With the study door closed, Teresa spoke to me softly.  `What happened
yesterday can never happen again' she told me.  He words were saying one
thing but her body language, hair and clothes were saying something else. I
stood directly in front of her.  `You mean this?' I asked, leaning forward
and kissing her on the lips, a little less gently than before.  Then more
forcefully, until we were locked in a passionate embrace.  It seemed like
minutes before we came up for air.

   `Andrew, this is wrong' she pleaded.  `It is wrong that a vivacious,
wonderful woman like you is caged in this vicarage.' I answered, then
kissed her deeply again, running my hand gently up her side to her breast,
enclosed as it was in dowdy dress material.  Through the material, her
nipple hardened to my touch.

   She was mine for the taking - all resistance gone.

   Whilst still kissing her, I pulled up the hem of her dress.  I was right
about her panties - they were very sensible.  I pulled them down, exposing
her brown/blond, rather hairy bush.  I gently stroked her sex with my
finger and I thought Teresa was about to collapse.  She was soaking with
excitement.  She hadn't thought to undo my trousers, so I did it myself.  I
am not sure if she saw what I was about to give her as she was so caught up
in the moment.  It crossed my mind that this would be a bad time for
Jonathon to walk in.

   `Jump into my arms - I will catch you' I told her.  I don't think she
realised what I was proposing, but she did as she was told and I caught
her, with her straddled ready for a stand up fuck.

   I backed her against the wall of the study, erection straining.  I
managed to guide my penis inside her, intensely thrusting deep into her. 
She cried out, perhaps in surprise as much as lust.  `Shh,' I told her `we
mustn't let Jonathon hear.' She got the hang of fucking up and down on me,
barely able to keep quite, but somehow she managed to hold it together. 
Fortunately, when she orgasmed it was a silent one.  Both times.

   It was quite tiring, fucking like that, and when I felt that familiar
tingle in my balls, I decided to ask the question `Am I ok to come in you?'
`Uh, uh, uh...  yes' Teresa replied.  I let my sperm go in three spurts,
filling Teresa with my spunk.

   I let Teresa get down.  I had already pocketed her sensible undies. 
`What happened to me then?' she asked in a bit of a daze.  I guessed what
her quandary was.  `That's an orgasm, Teresa.  That is what happens when a
woman makes love with a man who knows how to please her.' `It was amazing.
Is it supposed to happen every time?' `Absolutely.  More than once.' I
replied.  I think for the first time, Teresa realised she needed something
more than she was getting from Jonathon.

   I still had time to sort out the roof fund finances - it really wasn't
difficult to transfer the fund details from various notebooks and bank
statements to the PC, and in doing so we discovered an additional �1000
that was previously unaccounted for.  I advised on a number of safe
investments that might be useful, and it was obvious I would have no
problem meeting my target.

   Teresa was an interesting lover.  Before I met her, the only person she
had slept with was Jonathon.  He desperately wanted children, but to do
that you probably need to have sex more than once a month.  As yet they had
no luck in over nine years.

   As I suspected, Teresa had the most wonderful breasts and bottom - large
yet in proportion with her frame.  She had only had sex in the missionary
position before, so I took some enjoyment of showing her the delights of
the various positions and types of sex that were possible.  She was showing
me the church bell tower (which had some magnificent views over the
surrounding countryside), when I suggested she try oral sex.  I had
pre-planned to have this conversation with her, and I had brought my beard
trimmer with which to trim her wild mane of pubic hair down to a more
manageable level.  I left some there - trimming it all off might have
prompted some awkward questions from Jonathon.  Then I was able to
demonstrate to Teresa how a man can have oral sex with a woman and give her
multiple orgasms.  However, I had to explain what was involved for her to
reciprocate - she couldn't believe that a woman would put something that
men `wee' out of into her mouth.  `Don't knock it - lots of couples enjoy
it' I told her.  She gingerly licked my penis as I suggested.  It wasn't
gross, so she tried it some more.  She was soon sucking me like a pro. 
Perhaps I should have warned her what was likely to happen, but as I
enjoyed the views of the town and the fields around me, I just wanted to
let my orgasm go.  She choked a bit on my sperm, but she was ok.  The bell
tower became `our place', which we kitted out with some cushions and a
blanket - we would still kiss secretly in the vicarage, but it was too
risky to fuck her there.

   Teresa had had her eyes opened to what she should be enjoying and she
wanted to know everything that would make her feel good.  After a few
weeks, I mentioned anal sex.  `You put your thingy into a woman's bottom?'
she repeated incredulously.  `It's a penis, or a knob, or a cock - not a
thingy' I reminded her, `and yes, fucking a woman's bottom is an amazing
experience for both partners.'

   Teresa trusted me enough to try it.  I fucked her virgin bum hole whilst
I fingered her wet slit.  She came bucket loads, and soon my semen was deep
within her bowels.

   The guilt of having an affair never left Teresa however.  She was
returning to her marital bed on the majority of evenings with my sperm
within her.  Somehow her husband didn't notice the extra semen when he
occasionally got around to mounting her, but she still felt what she was
doing with me was wrong.

   Teresa had changed over the couple of months I had been fucking her. 
Instead of wearing dowdy clothes, she was wearing more alluring ones, and
she wore her hair down more often than not.  I wondered if the WI was
gossiping about her.  They had plenty to gossip about - I had fucked her
heartily from behind and stolen her panties, before Teresa gave a flower
arranging demonstration in the next room to her husband and the group. 
Only the two of us knew that beneath her dress, a gloop of sperm was
sliding down her inner thigh.

   We had been having our affair for four months - I usually tire of the
same woman after two months, but something about her enthusiasm to try
anything that made her feel good, and perhaps the danger of being caught,
kept the relationship strong.  Kate had called a couple of weeks ago to see
why I wasn't fucking her anymore.  I told her that I was seeing someone
else.  `That doesn't usually stop you fucking me though!' then the penny
dropped.  `Andrew is in `Lurve'!' I realised she was right.

   A few days later, I called around to the vicarage.  Jonathon was on some
sort of course, so Teresa and I had the pleasure of each other's company
for the whole night.  Considering it was the first time we had done it in
her marital bed, she was rather subdued.  After I had come inside her, we
cuddled up together, my sperm no doubt dripping onto the rather scratchy
sheets.  She was snuggled onto my chest, her breasts outside the covers
where I could gently stroke them.

   I asked her what was the matter.  `I have something I need to tell you'
she said.  She paused, bracing herself for my reaction.  `I am pregnant.'
No woman had ever said that to me before.  Not about my baby anyway.  `It
is mine?' It came blurting out - I should have phrased it better, but she
understood.  `I am fairly sure it is.  I couldn't get pregnant by Jonathon
for 9 years, then you come along and...  well, the rest is history.'
`That's wonderful news!' I didn't know where these words were coming from,
but I realised very quickly I meant them.  `Have you told Jonathon yet?' I
asked, concerned.  `No.  I thought I would tell the father first.' she
seemed a little tearful.  `You are going to need a place to stay when you
do.  There is my place, or if you want you could stay at a flat of mine I
have just had renovated.' Words were tumbling out of me.  I was so excited
by the news.  `I'm...  going to tell him it's his baby.' Tears were
streaming down her face.  It felt like I had been punched in the stomach.
`He has wanted this so much, and he would make a wonderful father' `So
would I!' I shouted, then I said `I will tell him then.' `You cant do that.
It would destroy him, and it would destroy you and me'

   I couldn't believe my first opportunity at being a real father and it
was slipping away.  Of course I couldn't hurt Teresa.  `Is there still a
you and me?' `I want there to be' she said.

   I pause while I thought about my next statement.  `I want to be involved
with the baby - I want to be there as it grows up.' `We can sort something
out' she smiled.

   She leant towards me and kissed me gently.  I kissed her sweet lips,
then felt her slender fingers trace down to my penis and stroke it to life.
`I still love you very much' she told me as she slipped her leg over mine
and lowered herself down onto my penis, fucking me slowly until I released
inside her once again.  We fell asleep with me still inside her.

   A few days later I got a call from Jonathon.  He was very excited, and
it was obvious what his news was, although naturally I couldn't let on.  He
invited me around to the vicarage at 6pm that evening.  I arrived to find
the place full of parishioners who had all had a similar call.  There was
an expectant buzz in the room which fell silent when Jonathon stepped onto
a chair and spoke to us.  `Dear friends.' he preached.  `Teresa and I have
some wonderful news.  After 9 years of trying, I am very pleased to tell
you all that we are to be blessed with a child.' He used the same voice he
used on Sundays for this announcement, but then in a slightly more
emotional tone continued `My dearest Teresa is having a baby, and I am the
happiest man on earth'.

   A cheer rose from everyone else there.  I managed to clap politely. 
Glasses of Champaign were filled for a toast (`just a sip for you Teresa
dear').  Cheese and pineapple and little sausages on sticks were passed
around.  Then Teresa breezed over to me.  How could they not see the change
in her?  She was now confident, and dressed elegantly.  And she was
blooming.  `Andrew, Jonathon has something to ask you.' she said and she
led me over to her husband.  `Andrew.  Teresa and I have been discussing
who we would like to be godparents of our child.  Teresa has suggested that
one of the people should be someone a little less `churchgoing' to provide
an alternative perspective, you understand.  I was going to ask the bishop,
but Teresa has persuaded me that you are the man for the job.  You don't
need to worry about the religious side - I think we have that covered'.  He
and Teresa laughed in unison at his joke.  `It just means I would like you
to be around for the baby.  Trips to the zoo, birthdays, a football match
maybe...  that sort of thing.' Teresa was giving me a triumphant smile. 
She was clever.  `I would be honoured.' I declared.

   Jonathon had taken on some extra responsibilities before he knew about
the baby, and as a result was away from home quite frequently.  As the
whether was becoming colder, and the bell tower was not really practical
any more, this proved to be very useful.  All was not well with my
relationship with Teresa however.

   As Teresa's belly grew bigger, it became harder and harder for me not to
think about it when we made love.  It wasn't that it made her unattractive
- she was still as sexy as ever.  I had screwed a pregnant woman many times
before with no issues at all.  The problem was that when I was inside her,
I was reminded by her belly that my baby was inside her as well, and that
whatever compromise Teresa came up with, I was going to miss out on being
the baby's dad.

   Teresa was 6 months gone - getting quite big now, and we had just made
love.  Teresa was licking my penis clean.  I watched her as she delicately
ran her tongue around the base of my shaft and my balls.  She was
beautiful.

   `I don't think I can do this anymore' I said to her.  She stopped
licking me and came up to talk to me.  I explained how I felt.  I just
couldn't carry on anymore.  She begged me to stay with her, but when I
suggested she left Jonathon and move in with me, she knew she couldn't.  I
told her I still loved her and would always be there for the baby.  Then I
got dressed, kissed her one last time, and left.

   My `port in a storm' is Kate.  I went straight over to her flat, hoping
desperately she wasn't on shift at the maternity unit.  She was home.  `Hi
stranger!' she was still pleased to see me all this time.  `What's wrong?'

   Although I didn't mention who my lover had been, I told her everything
that had happened.  There were tears in both our eyes when I finished. 
`You have got it bad.  I never thought I would see the day when someone got
to you like she has.' she comforted.  `Why don't you stay over tonight?'
`Yes please' I didn't want to be alone.  `but can we not...  do anything
tonight' `No problem.  Come on up now' she replied.

   In the bedroom she helped me out of my clothes then stripped off her
own. I had seen her naked many times, but her trim body and perfectly
shaved pussy always impressed me.  She told me to lie on the bed so she
could give me a massage before we went to sleep.  Her hands were expert at
loosening the knots in my muscles, and although she wasn't doing anything
sexual, my penis began to stiffen.  She told me to turn over.  `I knew you
wouldn't be able to resist for long' she said, licking the end of my cock
then sliding it deep into her mouth and throat, gently pumping me until I
ejaculated into her.  Then we snuggled together under the covers and went
to sleep.

   I spent the next few weeks catching up with all my old regulars.  First
on the list after Kate was Karen - Amber's mother.  If anyone had not been
neglected while I was seeing Teresa, it was Amber.  I had managed to be
around for her 5th birthday and her first day at school.  In fact I still
saw her at least once a week.

   I dropped in early one evening to visit Amber.  I played a board game
with her, then read her a bedtime story.  And then another - I could never
resist her when she did her big sad eyes and said `Please read me another,
Uncle Andrew'.  Karen often said Amber could twist me round her little
finger, and she was right.

   With Amber finally asleep, Karen and I talked as friends do.  It had
been the best part of a year since we last slept together, and Karen had
stopped asking me if I was going to stay over.  `Karen, would you mind if I
stayed the night?' I asked.  She replied `of course it is alright.  I
thought you were with someone now?' `I was, but it didn't work out.' I
didn't want to go into details.

   We made long slow love like we used to.  I don't think Karen had been
with anyone else whilst I was with Teresa.  Karen had 3 orgasms that I
counted while we made love, but when I felt the familiar tingle in my balls
of an imminent ejaculation, I felt I ought to ask `Is it ok if I come
inside you?' `I always want your sperm inside me, Andrew'

   We fell asleep in a slightly sticky embrace.  I woke up the next morning
to find Karen sucking my cock to hardness.  `Ah, you are awake.  I hope you
are going to fuck me hard now?' Karen asked me.

   I rolled her over and rammed into her, making her squeal, then started
to fuck her hard and fast as requested.

   `Uncle Andrew!' Amber had come into the bedroom and proceeded to jump on
me.  Fortunately we were still under the covers.  I withdrew from Karen as
best as I could and grabbed Amber for her customary tickle.  That done she
climbed under the covers between me and Karen.  Kids eh.

   `Mummy, why don't you have any pyjamas on?' she asked.  `Because I was a
bit hot last night, sweetie'.  Karen answered.  `Uncle Andrew, you don't
have any pyjamas on either'.  `That's right.  I was hot too'.  I answered.
I had the feeling this kid knew more than she was letting on.

   There was a pause, then Amber asked.  `Uncle Andrew, why haven't you
slept with mummy for ages?  Mummy says it is because you are busy with your
houses, but I think you have a girlfriend.' This girl was wise beyond her
years, and I couldn't lie to her.  `You were right, I had a girlfriend,
then I remembered how much I like to sleep with your mum.' `Good.  Mummy is
always happy after you sleep with her.'

   I made a special point of sleeping with Karen more often after that. 
She had been a good friend to me.  I caught up with a few of my other
lovers and did my best to make up for the lack of attention I had paid
them.

   Six weeks later, I was driving home from work.  It was snowing hard, and
had been most of the day.  I heard on the radio that there had been a bad
accident on the motorway junction, and soon I found myself trapped in a
gridlocked road system.  No one was moving from here very soon.

   I pulled over to the side of the road and parked up.  Luckily I had a
heavy coat and some good boots, so I started to walk the few miles home. 
It was 20 minutes later that I got a call from Teresa on my mobile phone.
We still met to sort out the Roof Fund finances, but I had not kissed or
touched her since we split up.  `Andrew, thank god.' she was gabbling
wildly `my waters have broken and Jonathon is away, and the ambulance is
stuck in traffic, and my contractions have started the baby is coming too
soon and...  and I'm frightened!' I told her not to worry, I had a friend
who was a midwife.  I would get her to come and help.  I told her to stay
by the phone and I would call when I reached my friend.

   Kate didn't live that far from where I was right now, so I started to
run to her flat.  I knocked on the door, praying she wasn't on shift.  My
prayers were answered.  I explained that my ex had gone into labour, and
had no help.  She got me to ring Teresa on my phone and she talked her
through what to do.  `Hello, Teresa.  It's Andrew's friend, Kate.  I am a
midwife.  We are going to come over now - it might take a few minutes to
get there, but you should have plenty of time.  All you have to do is stay
calm, and breath deeply when you get a contraction, but don't push until I
get there'

   Kate had a huge holdall full of equipment.  Apparently there was
everything we might need except drugs which she wasn't allowed to keep at
home.  We set off through the snow together.

   After about 30 minutes of difficult walking we arrived at Teresa's
house. Kate looked at the place.  `Isn't this the vicarage?' she asked. 
Then the truth dawned.  `Tell me you haven't knocked up the vicar's wife?'
I looked sheepish as her.  `I could murder you sometimes Andrew, how could
you be so stupid?  Do you know how much influence the man has in this
area?' Kate must have really cared about me to have a go at me like that,
but this wasn't the time.

   We let ourselves in and found Teresa in the marital bed, panting through
a contraction.  She cried with relief when she saw us.  I forgot myself for
a while and hugged her, relieved that she was ok.  Kate got to work,
lifting the nightie that Teresa was wearing to expose her huge belly.  `I
am going to examine you now, Teresa.' Kate told her, and she started
lightly push and feel around Teresa's tummy.  She seemed to be taking her
time.

   `Do you know you are having twins Teresa?' Kate asked.  I dropped the
heart rate monitor Kate has asked me to pass her.  It broke into several
pieces.

   Teresa looked just as shocked as I was.  Kate asked her about the second
scan, but Teresa explained that she didn't bother with it, as she was going
to have the baby healthy or not.  `It is quite handy for detecting twins
though.' muttered Kate.

   `I am going to check your cervix now - do you want Andrew to go out of
the room?' `No' `Andrew.  Make yourself useful and hold her hand'

   Kate gave me a secret wink.  I knew that she got a perverse please every
time she did this procedure.  Kate slipped two fingers into Teresa's vagina
in order to gauge the dilation of her cervix.  `Sorry about this Teresa. 
You have to pack your dignity away for the day when you have a baby.  About
5 centimetres.  You have a way to go yet.'

   I did whatever I could to help Teresa as she had contraction after
contraction - dabbing her forehead with a damp flannel, holding her hand.
Trying to be encouraging.  Kate called me to a corner of the room.  `I am a
little concerned that her cervix is not making any progress.  She is
getting very tired, but I am not equipped to do a caesarean' she whispered.
`Can you induce or something?' I asked.  `I have no drugs with me.  but
there is something else.' `What?' `Do you remember post amniotic sex?' she
let a little smile show `I am convinced it helps to stimulate the cervix to
greater contractions.' Karen had introduced me to `post amniotic sex' prior
to Amber being born.  I told Kate I didn't mind giving it a try.  Kate
returned to Teresa and explained the idea `...and the plan is that you have
vigorous sex, and Andrew ejaculates as far into your cervix as he can.'
`What about my husband?  Wont he mind?' asked Teresa.  `Your husband isn't
here and Andrew is, and neither of us are going to say anything to him. 
Andrew has told me you were lovers until recently' Teresa looked ashamed
for a second, then looked at me.  `Do you mind?' she asked.

   I didn't mind.  Kate explained she would have to remain present to
monitor Teresa, then in response to Teresa's horrified look, she explained
`Us medical types always say we have seen it all before, but in this case I
have.  Andrew and I had a bit of a thing a while ago.' `And you don't
mind?' asked Teresa.  `Not really.'

   Kate told me what was required.  I should strip right down as Teresa was
bleeding and I would get plenty of blood on me.  I should enter her as soon
as a contraction completed and I should fuck her hard and fast - discomfort
or pain was not an issue.  I should try to come inside her cervix which
should be wide enough for my penis.  Ideally Teresa should orgasm, but I
couldn't be inside her cervix when she started her contraction.

   I pulled my clothes off as instructed and Kate helped Teresa out of her
nightie.  Kate was monitoring the babies with a stethoscope.  While we
waited for the next contraction, I decided to kiss Teresa's breasts.  They
were always large and beautiful but now they were heavy with milk.  Teresa
stroked my cock to complete hardness, then had another contraction.  A soon
as it subsided, Karen commanded `Ok tiger, you are on'.

   I rammed into Teresa as hard and as deep as I could.  I felt the head of
my dick pop into her open cervix.  She screamed.  I looked at Kate.  `Go
on!' she mouthed at me.  I rammed into her again and again.  This wasn't
subtle, and each time Teresa screamed.  `I think you have about 2 minutes
before the next contraction' Kate told me, watching the action.  I could do
without the pressure.  I continued to roughly fuck her, eliciting a cry of
pain each time I entered her fully.  `...About a minute.  Now would be a
good time to come'

   My cock was inside her cervix when I felt my balls begin to tingle.  It
was now or never.  I blasted my semen into her cervix, draining my balls,
then quickly I withdrew before her orgasm/contraction started.  `This
contraction is a cracker, Teresa.  Well done.' Kate congratulated her.

   Kate turned to me and told me to get cleaned up.  She didn't want Teresa
to see the blood on me.

   I came back into the room fully clothed again to find Kate giving Teresa
another internal examination.  `The old ways are always the best.' Kate
declared with some satisfaction.  `Teresa, you are now 10 centimetres
dilated so you may push when you have a contraction.'

   I am not going to take you through the rest of the labour, but after
another hour of pushing the first baby - a slightly semen smeared girl, was
passed to me.  Shortly after, the second baby - a boy arrived.  I cut the
cord for each.  I wrapped the babies in some towels, and passed them to an
extremely tired Teresa.

   `Thank you.' she said.  I didn't need her thanks - I had managed to be
present at the birth of my first two children - Mary and Joshua.

   The babies were baptised the following spring, the same week that
renovation of the church roof began.








   

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