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From: classic rider <classicrider14@excite.com>
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Subject: {ASSM} Reflections on the Black Boy as a Body
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Date: Wed, 02 May 2007 16:10:01 -0400
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Reflections on the Black Boy as a Body

   I think about this often.  There is a process that takes place in the
person's mind who starts out thinking of himself as a human being but is
gradually reduced to seeing himself as he is seen through other people's
eyes - as a mere object.  His mother and siblings may treat him as a
person, as might his aunts and other friends of the family.  He has heard
about racism, but unless he is unshielded from its sharpest ideological
realities it doesn't really register with him on the deepest levels of his
psyche.

   Yes, one can grow up in poverty - and that may be a consequence of
racism.  One may be watched, as a child, more closely by store clerks than
his white counterparts are - and that may be a consequence of stereotyping
and racial prejudice.  But to see oneself as others see one, and to deeply
internalize it; I don't believe that this happens before the black boy
reaches the age of 13, at the very earliest.  There are levels of
internalization, of course.  Maybe the most rudimentary internalization
occurs before a black child reaches preadolescence, but a black child -
like any other child - is not very good at seeing himself as others see
him, especially if the way others see him is sharply different from his
self-perception.  In fact, most adults (black or white) are not good at
doing this.

   For racism - as an ideology and an identity - to be internalized by the
black child that child would have to endure the shock of seeing himself as
others see him; and in a way that is vastly different from how he sees
himself.  I think this always comes as a shock because he really doesn't
understand how someone else could see him that way.  At first he rebels;
but if the social pressures are strong and persistent enough, he gradually
acquiesces.

   A black boy grows up seeing himself as a human being.  He knows that
racism is "out there" and he knows that it is "ugly." He knows that some
people see him as less than human or, if human, as a lower level of
humanity.  But so long as most of his social encounters consist of loving
family members, his church and his friends - people who are always on the
lookout for his "self-esteem," teachers (black or white) and social
workers, ministers, etc.  Then, for the most part he will see himself as a
person and not as an object no matter what some disembodied "racists" might
think.

   But then he encounters a white man, who seems reasonable in all other
respects, but who refuses to treat him as anything other than a body.  It
can be an employer, a teacher, or a police officer - this person refuses to
interact with that black boy as anything other than a body.

   Think back.  Do you recall how you felt when you first left home?  You
set up your own place, away from your parents.  You started to define your
own set of values - you picked your own friends, no matter what your
parents thought of them.  You created your own identity.  Now, with your
new set of friends, your new living space, your new ideas, your new values
and your new identity you thought that you were prepared to boldly return
to your parents home during a holiday - and you would impress them with how
changed and mature you had become.  And once you got "home" - home to your
parents' house - they wouldn't stop treating you like the little boy you
were before you left the house.  Try as you might to assert your new
identity, you were still (if you were the youngest) the "baby" of the
household.  You were still little Johnny or little Evan or little Michael.
Gradually it was you who had to adjust to your parents' perception of you -
because they were in a more powerful position to gently and
ever-so-lovingly enforce this perception.  They were older and not given to
change even if they wanted to.  You were the one who had to make the
adjustment in your perception of reality.

   I think that is what the shock of racism is like when it is finally
internalized by black boys.  The black boy who falls in love with the white
girl and truly believes that the girl loves him for his personality - and
in part she does.  But then it comes out in instance after instance that,
above all, she sees him as a hot black body - and he begins to see himself
as being nothing more than a hot black body.

   You see the awkward black boy - just turned 18 - it is his first time
that he is allowed into the porn video store.  He timidly makes his way
into the back where all the nasty old men are.  They leer at him fresh
meat. He cautiously slides into the booth to watch a movie and finds that
there are no doors on it - or, if there are doors, there are great big
"glory holes" in the wall.

   He timidly strokes himself off thinking that no one is watching.  Then,
out of the darkness, he hears someone whisper, "Yeah, let me see that big
black cock.  Show me that nigger cock.  Yeah, boy - stroke that meat for
me."

   The boy becomes flustered.  He didn't know anyone was watching.  He
wasn't even sure anyone would want to watch.  He quickly fastens his pants
and rushes out of the movie house in embarrassment.  But this is not the
end of the story.  He comes back a week later.  The same thing happens. 
This time, though, he stays a little longer, but still he is uneasy.  The
following week he stays longer still.  Eventually he's egging the white men
on.  He's waving around that big black cock while the white men hoot,
"Yeah, let's see that big nigger dick." He's proud of it.  He sees it as an
asset.  He's proud that white men think of him as a big nigger cock boy.

   This is transformation.  One might also use the term "corruption."
Either term will do - they both mean the same thing, except one attaches a
moral judgment to it.  And isn't morality implicit in the act of crafting
stories?

   So, what happens in the mind of a black male - and this is certainly not
all black males - who finally acquiesces to the idea that he is not really
a mind so much as he is a body; a body to be admired - a body to be
exploited - like on the basketball court or in a porn video?

   Many black males these days grow up thinking of themselves as being
merely (or primarily) a body.  Many of them embrace this self-image.  It is
not a loving mother or adult friends of the family who shape their
self-image, but images in mass media - particularly music videos.  They
grow up thinking that they are destined to become Chingy, or Snoop, or P.
Diddy, or fiddy cent.  They grow up thinking they are to become one of
these media constructed images or nothing at all.  And their primary asset
is their body, not their mind.

   And so, it is no wonder that I used to see young black boys in those
movie booths (this was back in the early-to-mid 1990s, before VCRs and DVDs
and the Internet became all the rage and kept people at home to privately
consume most of their porn).  It was no wonder I saw young black boys being
pushed up against those dark walls while an older hairy white man was
holding their smooth dark bodies and humping inside their tight asses.  It
was no wonder the boys took special pride in being used in this way.  They
had defined themselves as being nothing but a body - and their body was
their greatest asset.

   One of the hottest (if also saddest) scenes I saw in one of those movie
booths was when a white business man, with a starched shirt and tie,
approached a hopeful black lad and told the boy to drop his pants.  The boy
dropped his pants, hoping to impress the white man with is thick black
cock, but the man sneered at him and said, "No - turn around and show me
your ass." The boy seemed confused but he slowly did what the man said. 
The white man seemed transformed in a most Satanic way.  I am telling you
he totally lost his mind.  He grabbed that black boy by the waist and
humped so furiously in that black boy's ass that I think he forgot who and
where he was or what it was he was fucking.  And the expression on the
black boy's face was heartbreaking.  His eyes welled up with confusion and
tears.  His face registered disgust and humiliation.  I don't even believe
there was a monetary transaction here - I didn't see any signs of it.  I
think the black boy had accepted his identity as a body, but he thought the
most impressive aspect of his body was his cock; but clearly the most
impressive part of his body for this particular white man was his smooth
bubble butt black ass.

   There was something in seeing the black boy's bare ass that drove the
white man beyond the brink.  The amazing thing was that the black boy,
clearly not expecting or enjoying this kind of "action" - and apparently
not even being paid for it - allowed the white man to bring his sexual
passion to its full fruition in that black boy's ass.  Somewhere along the
way that black boy learned to think of himself as being a body - but on
that very night he also learned to allow the white man to define how that
body was to be used and what parts of that body would be used for what
purposes.  Maybe the white man wasn't into black cock because it signified
too much power and appeared to be too much of a threat - so he went after
boy's black pussy instead.  Still, you should have seen the expression on
that black boy's face when he realized how that white man intended to use
him.

   One of the erotic fiction series I enjoy reading on the Internet is the
Stampley Plantation
http://nifty.nisusnet.com/nifty/gay/historical/adventures-of-stampley-plant
ation/.  I think of little Elijah in the Stampley series.  What is the
transformation that takes place in that little black boy's mind as it
gradually dawns on him that in the slave owner James' eyes the boy is
mostly an object to be used for that white man's sexual gratification? 
Elijah doesn't have to like it in order to understand and accept it.  The
transformation is that he gradually understands and accepts his new role -
again, this does not mean that he has to like it.  One of the most striking
incidents in the Stampley series, so far, is when little Elijah is being
buggered by James, after having been trained to give his master what his
master expects of him.  James is ruthlessly fucking the little boy's ass
and he asks the boy, "What are you?" And little Elijah meekly answers, "Ise
just a stupid, dirty nigger, ah suppose..."

   Is this sad?  Yes, it is very sad.  Does it still give me a raging
hardon every time I read it?  Does it rain in Portland Oregon?

   I have been exploring the theme of black boys becoming objects for white
men in my stories for awhile now.  There is very little in fiction that is
entirely fictional - very little fiction is invented out of thin air.  Each
of my stories was inspired by an observation or an actual encounter - and
the distortion in the lens of the fiction may have even served to bring out
something that is more truthful than a literal rendition of what actually
occurred would have been.  So, not being entirely fiction, my stories
tapped into a deeper energy - I will not say it was a positive or a
negative energy - I will leave that up to ethicists to decide (I have my
own judgments about it).  My stories tapped into an energy that is real and
not imagined.  The great danger of writing fiction, or any other stories,
is that the writer is transformed in writing the story.  This may be for
the better; if our stories are uplifting; but it may also be for the worse,
if our stories are not.  And so, as writers and readers we become more and
more willing to try out things that we were not so willing to try out
before we started writing about it and reading what others have written.

   This also may be called a process of "corruption."

   As the late Kurt Vonnegut put in the mouth of one of his fictional
characters, "You must be very careful about what you pretend to be, or you
may wake up one day to discover that is what you have actually become."

   If it is "corruption" for a black boy to wake up one day and discover
that much of the world does not see him as an embodied soul - a combination
of both a mind and a body - but insists on constantly treating him as if he
were only a body until he finally "wises up" and acquiesces to this
socially constructed reality, then it is also "corruption" for a white man
to wake up one day after years of thinking in terms of racial physical
exploitation to find that he is willing to practice it when the opportunity
presents itself, and to engineer such opportunities when they do not
readily occur.

   That white men have the power to subjugate black boys and men is beyond
question (this, of course does not mean EVERY black boy or man).  That it
is right for white men to do so simply because they have the power to do it
- well, that is another question.  It is a question that pivots on deeper
question: What is the source or the basis of the

   values that one subscribes to?  It is the kind of question that should
make moral relativists very uneasy.  

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