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From: Lazlo Zalezac <lzalezac@yahoo.com>
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Subject: {ASSM} A Different Sort Of Lifestyle 05 (MF, rom)
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Date: Mon, 08 Jan 2007 09:10:02 -0500
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Lazlo Zalezac
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<1st attachment, "Life01-05.txt" begin>
A Different Sort Of Lifestyle
Chapter 5: Planning for Change
By
Lazlo Zalezac
Copyright (C) Lazlo Zalezac, 2005
Sharon did not implement Ann's advice immediately. She knew
that they couldn't afford it. The cost of completely replacing her
wardrobe would have been the financial blow that would break
their back. Instead, she went through the house for a week making
an honest assessment of what they owned. At the end of the week,
she came to the conclusion that her house was filled with junk that
was never used.
For the next week, Sharon started planning how to change her
situation. At first, it seemed like a pretty bleak task. Money, which
could have solved many problems, was in short supply. The house
with four bedrooms, formal dining room, formal living room,
family room, den, and the kitchen was way too much work for her
to manage. The yard was just as much of a headache. The pool
required significant effort on the part of Jim to keep clean. The
flowerbeds needed constant attention. The huge lawn required Jim
to spend a lot of time mowing it.
Greg did not see that Sharon was taking the initial steps to
changing their lifestyle. He had hoped that the evening spent with
the Greens would motivate his wife to change her appearance. She
hadn't changed her appearance and continued to wear the baggy
clothes. The house remained a mess. He interpreted her focus on
what she was doing as indifference. In a way, he was more
disappointed than he could put into words. He started spending
more time at the sports bar after work before coming home.
While nursing his after-work beer, he considered throwing in the
towel and filing for a divorce. He decided that with the kids at
home that it wasn't the right time. Next year, his son would be a
senior and his daughter a sophomore in high school. A divorce at
that time would be devastating to the kids. He wasn't sure how his
wife would react. At times, he thought she might be angry while at
other times he believed she would be relieved. Rather than decide,
he continued to nurse his beer.
On the Saturday two weeks after the dinner with the Greens, he
was in the den going over the bills. As he wrote the check for each
bill, it was as though a small part of him died. After an hour, he
stared at the stack of envelops in which he had tucked a check and
the stack of envelops that remained. He was seriously depressed.
In what was almost an unheard of action on her part, Sharon came
in the den and sat down. In a firm tone of voice, she said, "We
need to talk."
Gesturing to the bills, he said, "I don't think talking is going to get
rid of this stack of bills."
Smiling, she said, "I want to sell the camper. We can get eighteen
thousand for it. We owe six thousand on it."
"Sell the camper? What about our summer vacation?"
"We rent one," she answered. Smiling, she said, "It'll be a new one
every year and will cost us a lot less than owning one."
Sitting back in his chair, Greg considered what he could do with
the extra twelve thousand dollars. There were a number of bills
that he could eliminate with ease. Nodding his head, he said,
"Okay."
"I want to sell the boat. We don't owe anything on it and we can
get five thousand for it," she said. She had spent a lot of time on
the web researching the value of the boat and camper. She knew
exactly how much they could get for them. In fact, she had already
had a buyer for the boat.
"You want to sell the boat too?"
"We used it exactly once last year," she said.
"I thought you enjoyed going to the lake."
"We can go to the lake without a boat," she replied. She glanced
down at her list and said, "I want to hold a garage sale next
weekend. I'll need your help that day."
Wondering why she was suddenly interested in selling off so many
things, Greg immediately jumped to the conclusion that she was
planning to divorce him. He frowned as he considered it. The idea
hurt more than he thought possible, especially considering that he
had similar thoughts of divorcing her. He asked, "Why?"
"Our house is filled with junk that does nothing except collect dust.
I spend hours every day doing nothing but cleaning this house and
you can't tell that I've done a thing. I'm tired of it."
That was not the answer he was expecting. Curious, he asked,
"What do you want to do with all this money?"
"We pay off some of our bills with half of the money. With the
rest, I want to buy a new wardrobe. I want you to buy a new
wardrobe."
The idea of new wardrobes sounded like a step in the right
direction. He sat up and paid closer attention to what she was
saying. He asked, "Anything else?
"If we pay off a few of our bills rather than reduce our balances on
all of them, I figure that we would save almost five hundred a
month on the bills. With that money, I want to hire a service to
take care of the pool. We should also hire a service to take care of
the lawn," she answered.
"That sounds good to me," Greg said. He wondered what it would
be like to have most of Saturday free to do other things. He asked,
"What about house work?"
"I will hire a maid service to come in one morning every week."
Frowning, he asked, "Can we really afford to make all of these
changes?"
"Well, there is one more change I want to make," Sharon said with
a frown. Looking at him in the eye, she said, "You are to stop
going by the sports bar after work. If you want a drink, come home
and have one by the pool or in the formal living room."
Taken aback by the intensity with which she delivered her demand,
he asked, "Where will you be?"
"I'll be having a drink, too," she said. Looking him in the eye, she
said, "I want what Ann Green has."
Curious, he asked, "What is it that she has that you want?"
"Jim chases her around the bedroom. By God, I want you to start
chasing me around the bedroom," Sharon said stabbing a finger
into the arm of her chair. The tone of voice she used surprised even
her.
Greg stared at Sharon stunned by what she said. He'd never heard
her be so forceful about anything personal before. He didn't mean
to ask, but it just slipped out. "When is this chasing to occur?"
"When you and I are ready for it to happen," she answered. She
looked down at her sheet of paper and decided that she had
covered all of the material on it. She said, "Get the boat
registration and title. We are going to sell it."
"Today?"
"Now," she said standing up from the chair.
Greg and Sharon returned from the dealership where they had
taken the boat. The dealer had also purchased the boating gear that
was stored in the boat for an extra two hundred dollars. When they
stepped into the house, Harry asked, "Where's the boat?"
"We sold it," Greg said. He looked down at the check and then
over at Sharon.
Harry shrugged his shoulders and then headed towards his room.
Sharon said, "Harry, we're going to have a family meeting. Tell
your sister to meet us in the family room."
Family meeting? Harry stopped and looked at his parents
wondering what they meant by a family meeting. The blank
expression on his father's face wasn't all that reassuring. He
wondered if they were getting a divorce. He knew enough kids in
high school that were going through the divorce of their parents. It
wasn't pretty. Frowning, he headed down the hall to get his sister.
"Family meeting?" Greg asked raising an eyebrow.
Sharon nodded her head and said, "There are some changes
coming and I want to make sure that everyone knows."
"Okay," he said wondering when she had taken control over their
lives. He had never seen her acting so assertively without being a
nag. He handed her the check and said, "You might want to take
care of this."
Folding it in half, she considered what she was going to do with
the money. In a satisfied voice, she said, "Good."
Greg followed Sharon into the family room. Much to his surprise,
both kids were sitting on the couch looking worried. He shrugged
his shoulders and enjoyed the irritated expressions that crossed
their faces. He was half tempted to shrug his shoulders again, but
resisted temptation.
Cathy saw the set expression on her mother's face and turned to
him. She asked, "What's going on?"
He shrugged his shoulders again deciding that he really enjoyed
being on the giving end of shrugged shoulders. Both kids glared at
him. Sharon said, "Enough of that."
Deciding that she wasn't going to get anything out of her father,
Cathy turned to her mother and asked, "What's going on?"
Harry blurted out, "Are you guys getting a divorce?"
Deciding to let Sharon handle the questions, Greg took a seat and
faced her. She answered, "No, we are not getting a divorce."
"Oh, so what's going on?"
"We are changing our lifestyle," Sharon declared.
Harry frowned and asked, "You guys are turning gay?"
The question almost made Greg burst out in laughter. Even Sharon
grinned at the question. Shaking her head, she answered, "No,
we're not turning gay."
"Good. I'd hate to try and explain that to the guys at school."
Cathy, face wrinkled as she thought about her mother's
announcement, suddenly smiled. She exclaimed, "You're going to
start living like the Greens! Aren't you?"
"Yes," Sharon answered. She looked at the two children and said,
"From now on, we are going to be civilized with each other. There
will be no more shrugging away questions."
She turned to look at Greg and, rolling her eyes, said, "That goes
for you too."
"Ah! I just discovered how much fun it is," he said. His quip
brought smiles to the kids.
"We'll use manners when we talk with each other. I know that will
be tough since we aren't used to it," she said.
Harry raised his hand. After he was sure that he had the floor, he
said, "I don't really know manners."
For the first time since embarking on this idea, Sharon had a real
moment of doubt about what she wanted to accomplish. The fact
was that she wasn't all that confident about etiquette. After having
watched Jim and Ann, she knew that being well mannered meant
doing more than that old adage - age before beauty. She stuttered
for a moment and then said, "I guess we will just have to learn
them together."
"How?" Harry asked wondering if they were going to have to just
make it up as they went along.
That was the kind of question that Greg was able to answer.
Leaning forward, he said, "Son, we'll hire someone to teach it to
us."
"You mean we'll go to school," Cathy said.
Grinning, Greg said, "That's right. We'll be classmates."
"I bet I'll get better grades than you," Harry joked. He wondered
what it would be like to go through a class with his parents. It was
definitely going to be a weird experience.
Wanting to get the discussion back on track, Sharon said, "Until
we get into a class, I suggest that we just try to be nice to each
other. A simple please or thank you will go a long way."
Still quiet, Harry was thinking about the whole manners thing. He
asked, "Is there a polite way not to answer a question?"
"Why?"
"Well, I just don't want to be forced into a third degree or
something," he answered. He glanced over at his sister to see her
reaction.
Wondering what the real problem was, Greg decided that this was
not the time to explore the issue. He said, "I suppose you could
always say that you would prefer not to answer that question."
Sharon said, "The whole purpose of manners is to allow people to
get along together a little better. Everyone knows where they stand
and what is expected of them. They are not an advanced
interrogation method."
"It's just that I value my privacy about some things," Harry said.
Greg was about to answer when Sharon interrupted, "Ah, that
brings up another thing I wanted to discuss."
"What?" Cathy asked suspiciously.
"Your bedrooms," Sharon answered. She was tired of telling them
to clean their rooms.
"What about our bedrooms," Harry asked. The look on his face
was very hostile.
"I will never tell you to clean them again. They are your bedrooms
and you may keep them as you wish. I only ask that you keep the
doors closed. Since your father and I won't be going in them, you
are responsible for washing your clothes," Sharon said. Even
saying it made her feel better. It was like a load was being lifted
from her shoulders.
While the kids were stunned by her announcement, Greg was
shocked. One of the few things that he believed was that parents
had a right to make sure that their kids were not keeping drugs or
alcohol hidden in their rooms.
"Are you serious?" Cathy asked.
"Very serious," Sharon answered. This matter had been one of the
things that she had given the most consideration. It was a tradeoff
between trying to police the children and establishing better
communications with them. She had chosen better
communications. She turned to Greg and said, "I know you won't
agree, but believe me when I say that it is for the best. If you want,
we can talk about it later."
"You mean we have to wash our own clothes?"
"That's what she said, idiot," Cathy said. Even as she said it, she
knew that it was the wrong thing to say.
Sitting up, Greg fought to keep his voice under control. It took a
second, but in as pleasant of a voice as possible, he said, "Excuse
me. I would appreciate it if you would show each other respect.
Please, it's not that difficult."
Both kids stared at him. Even Cathy had expected him to climb
down her throat. She said, "I'm sorry."
"That's okay. I guess it's a habit we are going to have to break,"
Harry said. Trying to look as if the idea was horrible, he added,
"We're going to have to come up with new pet names for each
other. I was just getting used to idiot."
Thinking that this was going to be a lot harder than she thought,
Sharon listened to the exchange with hope. Maybe the kids would
come on board with her plans. She answered the question, "Yes,
you'll have to wash your clothes."
"I don't know how," he said feeling as if life had suddenly gotten a
lot more complicated.
Feeling stupid, Cathy said, "I don't really know how to do that
either."
"Of course you don't. You'll learn how. Actually, it will be good
for you to learn. Harry, you'll be a senior next year and then it is
off to college. You'll need to know how to wash your clothes
before you go. It won't be long before you go off to school,
Cathy," Sharon replied; giving the arguments that she had prepared
as to why they should do their own laundry.
Unsure that he liked the answer, Harry said, "I guess."
Following her agenda, Sharon said, "There's more."
"More?"
"From now on, six o'clock to seven o'clock is quiet time in this
house. Your father and I will be relaxing after our day at work.
You kids are invited to join us, but we don't want to hear any
arguments."
In a sudden flash of inspiration, Greg said, "We will be having
drinks and appetizers during that time. You are invited to join us."
Speechless, Harry turned to stare at his father. Cathy asked,
"You're not serious, are you?"
Glancing over at his wife who was confused by his announcement,
he said, "Yes. We will serve wine spritzers just like Mr. Green
prepares for his children and their guests."
"Wine spritzers?"
"We can discuss this later, Sharon," Greg said using her argument
against her. He turned to the pair of teenagers and said, "We will
require permission from the parents of any guests you may bring
over before we serve them anything to drink. We'll expect to be
notified of who your guests will be and a number for their
parents."
"Sure."
"No problem," Harry said thinking his father had suddenly become
very cool. Leaning forward in his chair, he asked, "Will there be
any requirements about clothes?"
"Activity appropriate attire shall be required," Greg said.
Listening to the exchange, Sharon was staring at Greg wondering
what he was doing. She had planned the hour of quiet as a chance
for them to spend alone except when the kids had a problem. She
frowned and asked, "Guests?"
"Yes. If we have any of our friends over, then they will be guests.
They'll have to dress up to be included in any activities. This will
be just like at the Green's house," Cathy said getting very excited.
Not sure where this was headed, Sharon said, "We are going to
have to work out some rules."
"Rules?"
Grinning at the horror in his son's voice, Greg said, "I think what
your mother means is that we'll have to work out what activity
appropriate attire means and the mechanisms by which we'll
operate."
"That sounds better than rules," Harry said looking over at his
mother.
Greg said, "Why don't you two work out some appropriate
guidelines and let us know what you think? We'll have another
meeting tomorrow to discuss it. Is that okay?"
"Sure. That sounds great, dad."
"Cool."
Deciding that it was time she talked with her husband in private,
Sharon said, "Well, I just wanted you two to know what was going
on. You can go off and think about it."
"Thanks. Or maybe I'm supposed to say, thank you," Harry said as
he stood to leave.
"Thank you," Cathy said and followed her brother out of the room.
"You're welcome," Greg said to their backs.
"Wine spritzers?"
"Rooms off limits?" he countered.
"Wine spritzers first."
"One quarter of a glass of wine and three quarters of soda water.
They get a total of about four swallows of wine in a glass. It's not
much, but it is a chance for us to teach them about responsible
drinking," Greg said. "I watched the kids over at the Green's house
when they were given the drinks. They took almost an hour to
finish one glass. None of them drank it down in one gulp."
Faltering, Sharon said, "That doesn't sound so bad."
"Now about the rooms."
"I've given it a lot of thought. I know that you want to be able to
search their rooms if you suspect that they are using drugs. The
problem is that it makes us police and nobody talks to the police. I
decided that I'd rather open up lines of communication with the
kids. We can talk to them before they try drugs if they are listening
to us. Maybe we can keep them from ever using drugs. I think that
is a whole lot better than being in a position where we can only
catch them after they are using them."
Greg knew that it was probably too late to change any drug related
behavior. Sighing, he said, "I guess it is a lot like alcohol. We can
teach them how to be socially responsible drinkers. I guess with
respect to drugs, we'll have to teach them to be socially
responsible non-users."
"Right," Sharon said relieved that he hadn't fought her on that
subject. The similarity of their two concessions to the kids was not
lost on her. She wondered how it would work out.
The pair of adults sat quietly in their seats thinking about the
discussion. Finally, Greg said, "You do realize that this was the
longest discussion we've ever had with the kids."
"Yes," she replied. She looked thoughtful for a moment and said,
"There was no yelling or screaming. I'm kind of surprised."
Safe within her bedroom, Cathy looked around at the clothes
scattered across the floor. She sighed and said, "You do realize that
mom has effectively forced us to clean our rooms."
"Why? She said we could keep it however we want," Harry said.
"What are you going to do when you run out of clean clothes? Run
around school wearing dirty clothes and smelling?"
"Wash some clothes, I guess."
"So think about it," Cathy said.
Frowning, Harry realized that in order to wash his clothes he was
going to have to pick them up off the floor. Since that was the
majority of mess in his room, that meant he was going to have to
clean it. Shaking his head, he said, "She's tricky."
"Yes, she is."
"What do you think of all this?"
"I hope it works."
<1st attachment end>
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