Message-ID: <53953asstr$1148933403@assm.asstr-mirror.org> X-Original-To: ckought69@hotmail.com Delivered-To: ckought69@hotmail.com X-Original-Message-ID: <BAY111-F255DF67923ED4FDFED25B8F69D0@phx.gbl> X-Originating-Email: [esu_migabe@hotmail.com] From: "Esu Migabe" <esu_migabe@hotmail.com> Mime-Version: 1.0 X-OriginalArrivalTime: 29 May 2006 15:24:52.0261 (UTC) FILETIME=[08034D50:01C68334] X-ASSTR-Original-Date: Mon, 29 May 2006 15:24:50 +0000 Subject: {ASSM} {REVIEW} Review The Strange Case of the Missing Madonna Lines: 133 Date: Mon, 29 May 2006 16:10:03 -0400 Path: assm.asstr-mirror.org!not-for-mail X-Is-Review: yes Approved: <assm@asstr-mirror.org> Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories,alt.sex.stories.d Followup-To: alt.sex.stories.d X-Archived-At: <URL:http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2006/53953> X-Moderator-Contact: ASSTR ASSM moderation <story-ckought69@hotmail.com> X-Story-Submission: <ckought69@hotmail.com> X-Moderator-ID: emigabe, dennyw Review: The Strange Case of the Missing Madonna [Yotna El'toub] (MF,FF,MM(suggested),MC,NC,magic. Caution: blasphemous) Storyline <Brief outline only> This is the 2nd story in the Holmes & Hove series. The author has warned of blasphemous content as well as the usual sexual activities. Authors own summary: ---------------------------------------------------------------- ***Summary*** Ned and Brighton are asked to recover a stolen icon for the church. The icon has remained hidden for centuries due to its contentious content. Shadowy organisations are moving towards a future that threatens the very fabric of society. ---------------------------------------------------------------- Merits <What was worthy of comment> The author sets the scene and describes it well. You can almost see it come to life. For example: <The long room echoed the shuffling steps in muted tones. Soon the hushed group was fully assembled. They stood erectly with their flowing robes stilled in the silent air. One stepped forward from the ranks, confidently he made his way to the rear of a mock- altar. Once there, he reached up and grasped an unseen cord. An intake of hallowed breath sounded around the room as dark eyes gazed upon their prize, drinking in the depravity depicted.> The style of writing also identifies with the Victoriana era in which the story is set. Demerits <What detracted from the story> Now this is difficult as I have read the story many times. I could mention the spelling mistakes and punctuation but I realise that I am looking at the finished version. Sometimes the story seems to be slightly muddled. I'm not sure if this is deliberate though. The author likes to keep the mystery for the reader as well. Atmosphere <How well evolved was the environment> Marks out of 20 <17> As I mentioned earlier, Yotna is good at setting the scene. You can almost picture it happening. His descriptions take all senses into account e.g. sight and sound. Workflow <How well did the story progress and develop> Marks out of 20 <18> It managed to flow surprisingly well. I say surprisingly because I actually wanted to find out about the illuminati's plan and how the story was going to fit together. Eroticism <Just how erotic a read is this (erotic, not sexy!)> Marks out of 20 <10> Now this is the difficult part. What sort of story do I find erotic? Not many I must admit. Obviously in this story, the sex played a major part but erotic? No way! Mechanics <The boring bit, grammar, typo's etc.> Marks out of 20 <18> Now this could be considered to be part of my effort as I proof for Yotna but when does he take notice of what I say? He still likes his comma's a lot more than his full stops. Impression <What did I feel having read the story, did I want to read more?> <17> Marks out of 20 I'm afraid that Yotna and I like totally different things. I'm not into the stories that he writes about and he probably feels the same way about mine. I can't deny that this one's good though. The on-going mystery did make me want to read the next part and the style it was written in gave me a giggle at times. Total score 80 Yotties out of 100. Readability guide 00-19 must try harder. 20-39 needs development 40-59 readable 60-79 good read 80-99 should read 100 reserved for my stories :-) _________________________________________________________________ Be the first to hear what's new at MSN - sign up to our free newsletters! http://www.msn.co.uk/newsletters -- Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated. +---------------------------------------------------------------------------+ | alt.sex.stories.moderated ------ send stories to: <ckought69@hotmail.com>| | FAQ: <http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/faq.html> Moderators: <story-ckought69@hotmail.com> | +---------------------------------------------------------------------------+ |ASSM Archive at <http://assm.asstr-mirror.org> Hosted by <http://www.asstr-mirror.org> | |Discuss this story and others in alt.sex.stories.d; look for subject {ASSD}| +---------------------------------------------------------------------------+