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Message-ID: <53469asstr$1144393803@assm.asstr-mirror.org>
From: Shalon Wood <dstar@pele.cx>
Subject: {ASSM} Sonuachara 2 (ff rom teen)
Lines: 227
Date: Fri, 07 Apr 2006 03:10:03 -0400
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Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories
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Standard disclaimers apply; this story may or may not contain, in any
given part, graphic depictions of lesbianism, homosexuality, group sex,
bdsm, underage (teen) sex, magic, occultism, violence, and biting 
sarcasm.  If you're underage, or if for any other reason it's illegal 
for you to read this, or you're disturbed by the content, please don't 
read it.

Archived at http://prudence.pele.cx, and we've got a web-forum at
http://playground.pele.cx/forums as well, for discussion of both
Prudence and our other stories.

Comments *greatly* appreciated.

Enjoy,

Velvet
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The next day, Trina went out of her way to be friendly to Zoe, even
going so far as to invite her to sit at her table -- where the 'in'
crowd ate lunch. Zoe refused, politely, and slipped away to her usual
lunchtime haunt, an area behind the school which was technically
off-limits. A few minutes later, she saw Trina heading in her
direction, carrying two lunches.

"You aren't stupid, so don't act like it," Trina said, holding out one
of the lunches as if daring Zoe to refuse.

Zoe stiffened. "Did you consider the possibility that I might be on a
_diet_? Thanks for the thought, but I prefer to avoid temptation."

Trina's eyes narrowed, and she glared at Zoe. "_I'm_ not stupid
either, dammit. It's not fucking charity, so deal."

"Then what do you want for it?" Zoe asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Nothing," Trina said. "There's a difference between charity and doing
something to be nice to someone, you know."

"No, there's not," Zoe snorted. "Or there _shouldn't_ be, anyway."

"Oh?" Trina raised a skeptical eyebrow. "C'mon. From what I've seen,
'charity' is usually someone trying to make themself feel better by
doing something for an 'unfortunate'."

"Exactly. And like I said, it _shouldn't_ be."

"Maybe not, but it's what most people mean by 'charity', and it's what
you assumed I was doing, wasn't it?" Trina asked.

Zoe gave her a tiny quirk of a smile. "Maybe. Wasn't it?"

"Nope." Trina held out the bag. "So take it before I get mad."

Zoe sighed and took it. "Okay, but it's just a small debt. Not
something I asked for, or couldn't do without."

Trina shook her head. "It's not a debt. It's just me being my usual
_fabulous_ self."

Zoe laughed, short and abrupt. "Everything has a price. Every
action... or lack of one... has a cost or a reward. An ethical person
recognizes that, and does her best to maintain balance."

"Maybe so," Trina said, tilting her head. "But maybe I'm just
balancing out my _own_ karma, so you don't owe me anything."

Zoe shook her head. "It doesn't work that way. If I accept the reward,
then I owe the debt. Doesn't matter if you're an axe-murderer trying
to work off your sins. You get a credit, I get a debit, even if you're
in the red to start with."

Trina straddled the bench next to Zoe, facing her. "So you think life
is a zero-sum game?" she asked, opening up her bag.

Zoe leaned back against the trunk of the tree behind her, lighting a
cigarette as she peeked into the bag. Pulling out a carton of milk,
she said, "At best."

Trina shook her head. "I think you're wrong. I think in the end it's a
positive-sum game. In the short run it might be zero-sum, or even
negative-sum, but in the long run it's positive-sum."

"Hah. Yeah, right," Zoe said. "Maybe for some people. A very _few_
people. But not for most. They live, they try, they suffer, then they
die."

"Oh?" Trina asked. "You think most people's lives are unadulterated
misery? Or do you only see success in monetary terms?"

Zoe shrugged. "Not unadulterated. There's enough good to keep they
trying. It doesn't take much. Intermittent reinforcement is the most
powerful behavioral motivator. Look at all the people with gambling
problems."

"True. But I don't think that, on the balance, people's lives are pure
misery. Some people have it better than others -- like me -- and some
people have it worse, like you. But for most people, it comes out
positive, and even for people like you and me, it might not come out
the way we expect. I mean, how many stories do you see in the news
about this rich girl or that rich girl going into rehab, or getting
busted for possession, or having an eating disorder?" Trina asked.

"You don't get it," Zoe said. "You're not guaranteed to have it any
better than me. Yeah, you've got a different set of possibilities. But
it doesn't matter, because you've also got a different set of
liabilities. Right now, things might be going your way, but that
doesn't mean they always will, and it _definitely_ doesn't prepare you
for when they won't, and it'll be worse for you than for me because of
that. Because at least I don't expect it to be any different."

Trina nodded. "That's my _point_. Maybe life's great for me right nor,
and maybe it sucks for you right now, but at the end of our lives,
who's to say you won't be the happier of the two of us, overall? And
chances are that _both_ of our lives will be more good than bad, and
even if not, next time around we get to try again, with a different
starting position."

"It's not a competition. No way to tell who's happier in the
end. Doesn't matter. The only constant is that almost everyone will
have all the pain they can deal with, or more. The only way to 'win'
is to live through it, anyway." Zoe looked away, sighing. "I
think. Sometimes I think the winners are the ones who get out before
it hurts too much. But if you do that, then you've lost the chance to
do any good you might have done."

"But you also get all the joy you can handle, or more," Trina
said. "Maybe it doesn't look like it, not in the short term, but if
you look at it in the long term, you do. Don't just focus on the
century or so you get this time around, look at the big picture."

Zoe laughed suddenly. "So that's it... you think you get another go
'round? It's okay if some poor little thing gets beat to death in this
life, because in the next one, she'll be born a princess and have
everything she wants? Yeah, sure. That's just another way to feel good
about things, to make it all seem bearable and pretend it makes
sense."

"Who says she'll be a princess next time around?" Trina asked. "She
might be. She might not be. All I know is that in the end, things
average out to a positive sum. That doesn't mean that what we do
doesn't matter; how we treat other people _does_ matter. It just means
that we get more than this one lifetime."

Zoe shook her head in disagreement. "Nice thought, but no more reason
to think that than to think all the poor little waifs'll go straight
to heaven. People made up religion because reality was too much for
them to face without it. That doesn't make it real."

Trina shrugged. "I can't prove it, of course, but I'm certainly not
having any trouble facing reality. I've got evidence that's enough to
convince me. That's all I need."

"People can find 'evidence' for _anything_. Anecdotes, hallucinations,
dreams, sometimes even just _wanting_ to believe it. But I'm not going
to argue with you. If it makes you feel better, it's your fucking
business, not mine."

"I'm fairly sure that it's not a hallucination, and I don't think it's
self-selection bias. I've tried to account for that. I can't be sure
I've succeeded, but I've done what I can," Trina said.

"Look," Zoe said. "I _said_ what you believe isn't any of my
business. I don't go around trying to change people's beliefs. But I
have the right to the same courtesy."

Trina nodded, giving Zoe a sheepish half-smile. "You're right. Sorry."

"S'okay. _Everyone_ feels some burning need to convert atheists. Even
pagans. It's fucking weird sometimes. Then, some people assume I'm
'one of them' because I'm not Christian, and get pissy because I don't
buy into their theories, either." Zoe shrugged. "I'll tell you what I
do the rest of them... appearances can be deceiving. I've known people
who dressed and acted just like me who were hard-core
fundamentalists. Dangerous to make assumptions around here. Talking
the wrong beliefs to the wrong people can get you hurt."

Trina gave Zoe a slightly puzzled look. "Yeah. I know. I'm... not sure
why I mentioned it to you."

"My overwhelmingly compassionate and understanding nature, no doubt,"
Zoe said, rolling her eyes.

Trina smiled slightly. "I'm sure."

Zoe slipped the trash into the empty sack and tucked it into the top
of her backpack to throw away later. "Cool. As long as you do realize
it."

"Yeah," Trina nodded. "So... do you want to ride with me? Means you
don't have to wait on the bus."

"Well... since you're going that way anyhow. If you're leaving right
after school, that is," Zoe said.

"Yeah," Trina said, nodding and tucking away her trash.

"All right, then. You drive, I'll give you gas money."

Trina waved her hand dismissively. "Don't worry about that."

"Balance, remember?" Zoe asked. "It's not for you, it's for _me_."

"But I don't _need_ it," Trina said.

"So?" Zoe asked. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"So what's the point in giving me something if I don't need it? Do
something _useful_ with the money if you don't want to keep it."

Zoe shrugged. "Give it away to someone who needs it if you don't want
to keep it. I had it budgeted for bus-fare, anyway, so it's no change
to me."

Trina sighed. "Okay."

Zoe hopped to her feet. "Good. It's a deal, then."

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If you like this, you might want to take a look at Strange Love, an
e-zine of sf/fantasy/paranormal erotica. The first issue is on sale
now for $2 at:

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Take a look!

-- 
Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights
reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated.
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