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From: "Stasya T. Canine" <stasyatk9NOSPAMED@juno.com>
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Subject: {ASSM} Life is But A Stage (nosex life-choices valentine's gift)  Stasya T. Canine
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Date: Sun, 12 Feb 2006 04:10:04 -0500
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This one is belatedly dedicated to the young woman who inspired
Cathy--and the fantasy scene.  I'm pleased to note that she has been
happily married--for several years.

If only I had been younger, much younger, at the time...   sigh...
------

Life is But A Stage
by Stasya
 ---

Kyle's Story  - Curves Ahead
---

"Honey?  Cathy?"  my wife is sitting at the kitchen table.  She has
her hands wrapped around a shoebox I've never seen before.  She's
crying and shaking.   We're still new enough to being married that
I'm not sure how to handle this.

"I'm OK.  Really."  Her words sound a bit forced.

"What's in the box?"  I'm rewarded with a smile.

"What else would you expect around here?  Memories.  These start
back in high school."  She points to the opposite chair.  "Sit."

As I settle, she pushes the box in my direction.  "Go ahead.  Open
it. I'll be taking it to school for the class today."

Cathy is a teacher.  A drama coach for kids.  Her ability to get
even the shyest kid to open up and perform is nothing short of awe-
inspiring. I've often teased her about not becoming an actress.

I guess this is some mementos she wants to show her latest class.

I lift the lid and see nothing that catches my eye.  There's an old
video tape, some envelopes with papers in them and four carefully
tied stacks of letters.

I look up.  She nods back at the box.

The tape is on top so I pick it up and look at it.  "Preliminary
interview - Cathy"  The name of a well known casting agency is on
the label.    With a start, I realize the date is exactly ten years
ago.

Numbed, I look at the largest folder.  Neatly labeled in her
handwriting is a list of what's inside.  A full set of applications
and references for the same agency.  Date, the same as the tape.
Names of the people at the interview?  Four people - two actors and
two actresses who are well known for their abilities.

I carefully sort through the stacks of envelopes.  They are sorted
by who they were sent to and received from.  I recognize the names.
They are identical to the names of the people at Cathy's casting
interview.  As I think back, I dimly recall bringing some of the
envelopes in with the mail.  Somehow, I never connected the names
with the actors and actresses.  The names are fairly common and I
naturally assumed they were from people she had known before we
met.

I look closer and discover the letters are postmarked with dates
ranging from shortly after the one on the tape to a within the last
week.

I look up at this stranger who has entered my life.

"I really could have been an actress."  Her voice is calm and
filled with a gentle laughter.  "But I told them I wanted to be a
teacher."

"They'll be coming to see my class today.  It's the tenth
anniversary of that interview and I asked them if they would talk
to and interview my class."

I'm speechless.  The people she's referring to don't just go
somewhere because some teacher asks them to celebrate the tenth
anniversary of a casting interview.

Do they?

For some reason, these four do.

I look down at the stack of carefully saved letters.

Finally, I go in the living room and play the tape.

When I return and collapse in the chair across from her, I notice
she has repacked the box.  I hand her the tape and she carefully
places it on top of the stack and puts the lid back in place.

"Unedited?"  I point at the tape.

"Unedited and the first acting I ever did.  Period."  Her words are
simple.

I do the math in my head.  "Eighteen?"  She nods.  "Senior year?"

"Yes.  Never thought about acting or modeling.  I wasn't pretty
enough to be any good so I never tried."  Her voice is tinged with
a self-mockery I have to strain to hear.

Finally, I settle for something non-judgmental.  "Must be a heck of
a story if the five of you still keep track of each other."

"It is.  Come to the class and you can hear Gary tell it.  He
promised."   I thought I was done with surprises for the morning.
I should have known better.

"You're amazing.  A drama coach in Nowhere not only manages to get
four well known actors and actresses to come and talk to her class,
she also finds a way to get one them to tell the story of how you
met them."

"It's absurd."  I can't help my grin.  "Maybe that's why I married
you. You have skills other than those that take place in private."

She has the grace to blush.

"No, that's not absurd."  She's smiling in a way I've come to
distrust. "What's absurd is that they are paying me for the
privilege of meeting some of my students.  I've been their private
talent scout since the day after that interview.  Didn't you ever
wonder how I managed to support myself in college?  They'll be
making job offers to some of my students as well as 'telling
stories' about the 'good old days'."

"See you in class."

Before I can gather my dropped jaw from its new home on the kitchen
floor, she's gathered up her shoebox and left.

"I'll be there."  I whisper it as I listen to the sound of her car
leaving.
---

A Class Act - Gary's Story
---

As we waited for Cathy's students to enter and settle, it was
obvious she hadn't told them what her surprise was.  Nervous and
awed didn't begin to describe how most of them were.

Cathy, as regal as any queen, had one haunch casually perched on
her desk.  A man about her age sat at the back of the room and kept
looking from her to us and then back.  I figured he must be her
husband.  From the slightly stunned look on his face, it was easy
to guess she probably hadn't told him about us or her past.

"OK class."  Her tones were brisk.  "I told you I'd have a surprise
for you today.  This is the tenth anniversary of my first and only
interview in front of some real talent scouts."

She gestured at each of us.

"Gary, Bill, Lori and Mary were the people who interviewed me."  We
each bowed or curtsied as she mentioned our names.

She had the rapt attention of everyone in the room as she opened a
shoebox.  She held up a tape.  "This is a videotape of the 'acting'
portion of the interview."   I was honestly startled.  In the ten
years we had kept in contact, she never mentioned that long ago
interview or that she had kept her copy of the tape.  A sideways
glance told me that the others were just as surprised as I was.  'I
have some students you should see.  Be a nice way to celebrate our
tenth anniversary.'  She had set us up perfectly.  If anyone was
entitled though, she was.  Not many people still treated us like
'ordinary folks'.

Had life been slightly different, one of us would be standing where
she is.  In a way, I envied her.

I watched as she walked over and put the tape in a vcr.  "Before we
watch the tape, I want you to know they are here to offer some of
you jobs."  There was a stunned silence as she straightened and
smiled.

"I'll let Gary tell you the story of how that tape was made."
What a talent we had lost when she decided to become a teacher.
With that one sentence and a gentle smile, she awakened memories of
a time when a young woman had captivated me with her abilities.

"Gary?"  Lori was shaking me.  I heard nervous laughter from some
of the students.

"Stage fright?"  Cathy's words return me to the present.

I take a deep breath, slowly let it out and then let my voice carry
my next to the whole room.  "No, not stage fright.  I was already
remembering an eighteen year old girl who was good enough to
capture my attention ten years ago.  Then, it took a her a few
minutes and some simple words and gestures."

"This time,"  I smile in Cathy's direction, "It took her one
sentence and a smile."

I pause to collect my thoughts.  "The world lost a Great One when
she decided to become a teacher."  Rapt silence and awed looks are
my reward for that simple statement.   Out of the corner of my eye,
I notice Cathy is blushing.

"We gained more than what we lost when she decided to ask if she
could become our private talent scout.  Late in the interview, I
told her she could be a star or a person who makes stars - Stars.
I didn't have teaching in mind but after she talked to us, the five
of us decided to gamble."

"We accepted her offer.  This is how it happened."
---

I looked at the other interviewers.  Each nodded and smiled a bit
tiredly.

I looked over at the person by the door and gestured.

"Next."

I suppressed a groan as the next teenager walked in.  She was plain
and ordinary.  She wore a simple dress and smiled tentatively as
Bill told her to stand in front of us.

"What is your name and why are you here?"  Mary started the boring
routine.

"My name is Cathy and I'm here because my friend who wants to be a
model talked me into it.  I'd rather be a teacher.  I'm not as
beautiful as she is."

I blinked and shifted slightly.  Something had changed.

"Honest for her age.  Brutally so.  Refreshing"  Was what I wrote
down.

"How are your social skills?"  That was my contribution.

"OK I guess."  She blushed and looked down.  "Guys don't stay
around me very long though.  I don't...  You know."  She gestured
vaguely.

The last question was up to Lori.  I looked at her.  She was lost
to the world.  I finally had to nudge her to get her attention.

Cathy started to shift nervously.

"Cathy honey..." Lori locked eyes with Cathy and smiled. "Tell us
about any recent fantasy of yours.  You can act it or tell it.
Your choice." Lori was gentle.  Encouraging.

Cathy's eyes lit with an inner fire.  Suddenly, there was a
different person in the room.

I kept quiet.  I'd never heard Lori use that tone during an
interview. What she asked and how was up to her.  Obviously, she
had identified what I had dimly sensed but not been able to place.
Cathy was that rarest of young women.  She was a 'girl next door'
who would never be out of work if she chose to take up acting or
modeling.

I almost forgot to hit the switch that started the video camera and
the tape.

The four of us settled back and got comfortable.  This promised to
be quite a performance.
---

Eyes turned inward and we were forgotten as Cathy searched her
memories. Brief smiles and head shakes as she considered and
obviously rejected different ideas.

Ever seen a kid get that "What the hell, go for it 'cause I never
had a chance" look?

Cathy had that look.  Something in her wouldn't let her walk away
without giving it her best try.

"I'm walking along a road.  It's a quiet road.  It's dark but I'm
not afraid.  Darkness doesn't frighten me."  She started walking
across the room.  She looked up.

"The stars.  The air is so clear." She reached and then paused with
her arm outstretched.  I involuntarily looked to see what she was
reaching for.  "Why can't I touch them?"  Her voice was filled with
sadness and a quiet yearning.  I had the feeling that in her mind,
she had been reaching for something other than stars.

"I walk some more.  I don't know if I'm running away.  I guess I
am."

"There's nobody there for me."  She shivers briefly and then shakes
her head from side to side.  "There never is."  Despair oozes from
every calm word.

A barely audible whisper.  "Maybe someone will come along and take
me.  I wish they would.  I'm tired of waiting for them."  More
despair and longing.

She wrapped her arms around herself and continued to walk back and
forth. None of us moved to break the spell.

"My love!"  She threw her arms open and her eyes lit as she saw a
vision only she could see.  "At last.  Get me out of here.
Please."

The plain girl was transformed into a radiant beauty that
overwhelmed me. She had it.  For the space of a few minutes, she
had owned us.  She had what is impossible to teach but can be
learned.  Not a single person we had seen ahead of her had it.

They had acted.

Cathy was.

Tears were flowing and not just hers.

Cathy hadn't been acting. Well, she was.  Lori asked for a fantasy.
Cathy gave us one.

A dream world built by a lonely soul who wanted better from life.

The three of us clapped quietly.

Cathy jerked at the sound and then flushed deeply.

"I'm sorry.  I shouldn't have done that."  She was apologetic.

"Nonsense honey."  Lori's voice had picked up some steel. "Bill,
get her a chair and then tell everyone we're through for the day."

"Yes Ma'am."  He was grinning.

"Out.  Now"  I pointed at the door.  It was then I remembered to
shut off the recording.

Cathy settled gingerly.  "Nobody said anything about talking after
the interview."

"We haven't taken the time."  I smiled and pointed at the screen on
the far wall.  "Pretend you don't know who it is.  It's a show
you've never seen or heard about."

I ran the tape back far enough so that a couple of the other girls
would be shown before she saw her performance.

I took a deep breath and committed myself by pressing play.

I heard a couple of giggles and a muttered "She's being silly,"
before her image appeared.

I hit the pause button as she finally stopped her 'act' on the
screen. There was a long silence as she stared at her frozen image.

"That couldn't have been me.  You must have edited it somehow."

"It was you Cathy."  Mary's voice is calm.  "You were there.
There's the tape.  It never left the machine.  There was no way it
could have been edited to produce that performance."

"Cathy."  She turned and looked at me.  "Long before there were all
the fancy gimmicks, acting and modeling depended on the person.
They still do.

"You already know what can't be taught in any school.  It can be
learned. Your friends outside haven't learned it yet.  You have."
I veer slightly.

"How come you like certain actors or models and not others?"

"I don't know.  The ones I hate though are always acting.  They
won't let me believe."

I nod.  "You're probably too young to have realized it but the ones
who 'let you believe' are the folks who will be working right to
the day they die - if they choose.  It has its hazards.  Some are
going to be so identified with a role, they'll never be able to get
work as other than that character.  Even most of those, if given a
chance to do so, will break out and move on."

I gesture back at the screen.  "You'd never be out of work.  Hard
work, thankless work at times.  Even bit parts take skill and
practice."

"You could be the 'star' or one of the people who makes the star 'a
star'.

I smile wryly.  "You've probably seen all four of us at one time or
another.  We do the bit parts nobody else wants.  We're known by
the characters we have played.  We also get to spend long hours
smiling and doing our best not to giggle or tell someone they're
being silly."

"Meeting someone like you makes it worthwhile.  Thank you."

I turn brisk and serious.  "This is a casting call for models.
There's work available immediately if you want to give it a try.
Here's our info." I hand her a stack of paperwork.

"Oh."  I smile and lean back.  "You'll make a teacher any parent
would be proud to know.  I wouldn't hesitate to send my kids to
you."

"Whatever you do, believe in yourself.  It's something you already
know how to do quite well."

"Good luck."

We stood and held out our hands.  Cathy fumbled with the paperwork
and then gingerly shook each of our hands before she headed for the
door.

Just before she opened the door, she turned back.  She was radiant.
"Thank You."

She let us watch as the mask returned.  A deep sigh and then an
ordinary girl walked out to be greeted by her friends.

The door closed on an excited babble.

"A kid with no background or desire is able to do what it took me
half a lifetime to learn."  Lori's tone is wry.  "Well, there's
always summer stock and local stuff for her if we lose her."

I nod.  "Somehow, I think she'll remember what she learned today.
Or should that be 'remember what she already knew and we reminded
her of?' " I smile as I study the still frozen image.

"Whatever."  Mary's tone is resigned.  "We have one more day and I
doubt if we'll be lucky twice.  Let's go get something to eat and
call it a day."

Just before we walk out, Mary turns to Bill.  "Don't erase that
tape until you've made at least four copies of it.  You know which
part."

"Yes Ma'am."  His smile is slight.  "At least five copies.  After
all, I recognize a Star when I see one, too."
---

I fall silent and hit play on the remote that has found its way
into my hand.  Once again the five of us watch an eighteen year old
girl capture four hardened cynics in a matter of minutes.

When the tape ends, there is a stunned silence.  Then, slowly, her
class rises and gives her a standing ovation.
---

Stasya,
Jan 17, 2000


---

"All I am is 'words on a screen'."

In this group (ASSD), more so than many on the net, that isn't true.
You are the words, true.  But, you are also the emotions those word
choices, and the order you use them in, reveals.  Word choices and how
they are used, is the 'body language' of a 'words on the screen' world.

--Stasya T. Canine, December 29, 2005--

-- 
Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights
reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated.
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