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Message-ID: <52880asstr$1137787803@assm.asstr-mirror.org>
From: "Franz Kafka" <franzkafka79@hotmail.com>
Mime-Version: 1.0
Subject: {ASSM} Girl Scout Tommie's (humour, girl scouts)
Lines: 67
Date: Fri, 20 Jan 2006 15:10:03 -0500
Path: assm.asstr-mirror.org!not-for-mail
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Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories
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Girl Scout Tommie's
A story by Franz Kafka

You might have heard about girl scouts cookie sales. The reality is more 
shocking.

This is not a story. This is nonsense, based on alleged contributions on
more or less the same subject. It is believed but not proven, that every
`Girl Scout Cookies' story has to contain three elements: cookies, girl
scouts, and a thesaurus. The claim that all the female figures have to wear
sweaters with a turtleneck is bullshit.

---

From the "Times of Middlesex", Friday, January 20, 2006:

*Scandal in the RAF - The Queen is shocked*
By Denny T. Camera, Alleged Press correspondent

Hoisington, London, and Prague. -- An unbelievable scandal is causing the
Royal Air Force to quake in their boots. The latest Girl Scout campaign to
sell cookies for fundraising has been abused. In several British towns,
girls in scout uniforms could be seen standing in front of RAF barracks
selling their wares. The local commander wondered why so many soldiers were
interested with the cookies, as in the past most problems had occurred with
their drinking habit.

It was in Hoisington, Middlesex, that Wing Commander Antony Profumo revealed
the real reason for the successful campaign. The result was shocking. It
turned out that most girl scouts were offering not only cookies, but other
services as well. At least 157 girl scouts from another 24 local councils
were also involved in this scandal.

"We had to use a thesaurus (and even that didn't help) to decode the full
assortment of services offered. 'Eggnog cookies' was revealed to be the code
for a full unprotected oral treatment of the male member, usually RAF only,
as only uniformed personnel got serviced. Normal intercourse was referred to
as 'Lemon Coolers', since most of the young hookers were cleaning themselves
afterwards with small paper tissues, perfumed with this scent. 'Little 
Brownie
Bakers' meant what it suggested. Our informant, Mr. Phelbs, is still working
on the meaning of 'Creampie Cookies'. We also wondered why some of the girl
scouts were offering fish and chips as well."

The spokesman for the Ministry of Confusion, Mr. Frank McBall, declined to
comment when we confronted him with this *never-seen-before* event, but a
servant for Queen Elizabeth II stated that *Her Royal Highness was not
amused when she was informed by Mr. Blair, the Prime Minister, that Prince
Philip had been seen with a 16-year-old girl scout, Vivian K.*

Unofficial sources speak of an attempt by the media csar, Norbert Durmock,
to destroy the British Monarchy. This press giant might or might not own a
thesaurus, but he should be aware of the fact that the British Monarchy is
synonymous with scandals which appear to be even more synonymous with the
successful selling of yellow press magazines and boulevard newspapers.

---

This story is dedicated to the memory of the 42 Slovakian soldiers and crew
members, who died last night on an airplane crash near Telkibánya on the
Hungarian-Slovakian border. They were returning from a six month period of
service in Kosovo. Only one survived.

Franz Kafka

_________________________________________________________________
Najdete si svou lasku a nove pratele na Match.com. http://www.msn.cz/

-- 
Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights
reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated.
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