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Message-ID: <52814asstr$1137046201@assm.asstr-mirror.org>
From: "Kenny Gamura" <turtlemeat69@hotmail.com>
Mime-Version: 1.0
Subject: {ASSM} Girl Scout Penguins {Gamera} (no-sex in-jokes humour)
Lines: 151
Date: Thu, 12 Jan 2006 01:10:01 -0500
Path: assm.asstr-mirror.org!not-for-mail
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Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories
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                         Disclaimer

This is just a story, okay.  It is meant for grown ups,
however the area of the world you live in defines it.
Nothing like this ever happened and nothing like it ever
should, get it.  It is completely something from my
imagination.  This means it belongs to me, its creator, not
to you, even if you live in China.  So don't republish or
repost or anything like that without me saying it's all
right.  Formating was done in Courier New, so that is what it
looks best in.  I spell like crap.  suzee did her best to fix
it, but their is only so much she can do.

Thank You and Good Day,
Kenny N Gamera

turtlemeat69@hotmail.com
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Gamera/www
http://storiesonline.net

For the Girl Scout Nookie stories that precede this one:
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/denny/www/


                     Girl Scout Penguins
                             by
                       Kenny N Gamera


I should have looked at the calendar before I answered the
door, but it was a new place so how the hell was I supposed
to guess that they had tracked me down.  I got to the door
on the fourth knock, since I had to finish the sentence I
was adding to my next excuse for a story (which may be
finished sometime in the coming decade).  I swung the door
open and was confronted by two of the ugliest Girl Scouts
that I had ever seen.

That was not the reason that I slammed the door in their
faces.

I slammed the door in their faces because they were Girl
Scouts.

Okay, so I have a problem with Girl Scouts.  They scare me
the way... well they scare me the way Girl Scouts (or just
about anyone) scare my cats.

Anyhow, I tried to crawl under the futon.  Cat one and cat
two stared at me as I turned my head this way and that in
order to get it to fit, but it was no go.  suzee came and
grabbed my ankles and pulled me into the living room.  Both
Scouts were sitting on the couch, looking at me through
their monocles.  Their legs were held together, and their
hands lay clasped and motionless in their laps.  This was
behavior that I was not used to from Girl Scouts.

They smiled at me.  I turned to run, but suzee grabbed me.
She held onto me until I quit squirming.

"Kenny, they're just Girl Scouts," suzee said in a soothing
voice.  "They won't hurt you."

Each of the said Scouts squinted at me and laughed,
"WhaWhaWhaWhack!"

"No, I don't want any nookie," I whined in a soft voice.

suzee sighed and said, "I've noticed."

"Please, let me hide.  They'll..."

"No, they won't.  They just want to sell you cookies.  Just
tell they you already ordered some, and they'll go away."

I turned to look at the girls.  They smiled again.

"No," I screeched and tried to hide behind suzee.  "They
look like penguins."

"Kenny, they don't look the least bit like Burgess
Meredith."

"But they do look like Danny DeVito."

"Kenny, be nice."  She looked at the twin penquins.  "I'm
sorry, but he had a bad experience with Girl Scouts where
we used to live.  Just send your mother around and he'll
order cookies from her."

"WhaWhaWhaWhack!  We're not selling cookies," said the
first, adjusting the cigarette holder in her mouth.

"We're trying to sell nookies," said the second doing the
same.

"Ack," I cried.  I spun behind suzee.  "I told you so."

"Pullleeeze," said the second.  "We're not selling them to
you."

"Yeah, we heard you were a wimp," added the second.

"No, we're looking for this guy called Ball Four,"
continued the first.

"Yeah," the second said nodding her head.  "Frank McCoy
just doesn't have enough time with all the girls he has to
knock up.  We want a guy to ourselves."

"Besides, we're going to grow up and become lesbians.  We
figure that he can do a good job in turning us off guys."

"We thought we found him, but it was only the person called
Guy."

"Yeah, he said his name was Ball Four, but we heard that one
before."

suzee shook her head and left the room.  I tried to follow,
but I tripped over my feet and fell to the floor.  I
crawled away but found myself stuck in the corner.
Trapped, I huddled into a shaking ball.

"I-- I-- I don't have his addy," I whimpered.  "I can give
you Hoisington's."

"Pullleeeeze."

"Yeah, we can't go anywhere near his place.  He lives next
door to a pervert."

"Besides, we can't scoff good enough."

"Let alone roll our eyes that well."

"Now, hand over Four's addy and we'll leave."

By that time, I started to cry.  They stared at me a while,
but gave up a little sooner than most scouts I've dealt
with.  And though their scoffing and eye rolling were
reportedly not to standard, their head shaking was good
enough to knock me cold.

And that, Doctor, is why I'm here.  I really need your
help.  I just can't...

Wait!  That picture.  On your desk...  They...  They're
your... your... your daughters.

Arghhhhh!

-- 
Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights
reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated.
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