index


Message-ID: <52803asstr$1136837412@assm.asstr-mirror.org>
DomainKey-Signature: a=rsa-sha1; q=dns; c=nofws;
  s=s1024; d=yahoo.com;
  h=Message-ID:Received:Date:From:Subject:To:Cc:MIME-Version:Content-Type:Content-Transfer-Encoding;
  b=qeibb+eWmLfDKPOXDdSKPk1/c9c29v9X1vMSFj+B8NkGqF4j43ZOb9vZBKU9JoK5eODSnd8bePDxBfgLUXKy50gaF8i0fstUtinNjgBZFrVa5hq4jHNhJULSO3cxyQjTuqeiClHi91NM54+P7ftEGYKkG8UtDVlJieGhDoAFIEc=  ;
From: "H. Jekyll" <h_jekyll2000@yahoo.com>
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 8bit
Subject: {ASSM} "Denial" by deirdre  (mm, mf, oral, anal)  -- rp by H. Jekyll and PleaseCain
Lines: 531
Date: Mon, 09 Jan 2006 15:10:12 -0500
Path: assm.asstr-mirror.org!not-for-mail
Approved: <assm@asstr-mirror.org>
Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories
Followup-To: alt.sex.stories.d

Denial   (mm, mf, oral, anal)
by deirdre, 2/19/96


*****

NOTE: We are not the authors of this story. "deirdre" was the enigmatic
queen of Usenet sex stories in the mid-1990s. She posted 156 stories in
just over two years, using an anonymous remailer and apparently *never*
corresponding with anyone (though she did give permission to repost her
stories to non-commercial sites). She was last heard from in late April
1996. We will repost all 156 stories, with comments by her, in
alphabetical order, between now and the 10th anniversary of her
"retirement." In the coming months, we will announce a "deirdre-fest"
for next Spring. Meanwhile, enjoy! 

To contact us: h_jekyll2000@yahoo.com, or PleaseCain@aol.com. 

*****


 Disclaimer: my stories, like the private sex fantasies of many people,
often depict "breaking some rules". Do not read this story if you
believe fantasy stories should never depict situations undesirable in
real life. Be warned that you may not be comfortable with the sexual
situations. Do not read this story if you are less than 18 years of
age.

Permission granted to repost, to make available online, and to publish
in low-cost CD-ROM archives of alt groups if attributed to deirdre.
Permission granted to publish in periodicals and anthologies of this
type of material if attributed to deirdre and an author's payment is
sent to AIDS research in the name of deirdre. -- deirdre


 Denial 
by deirdre, 2/19/96

We shouldn't have been doing it. Well, I suppose it really didn't do
any harm, at least it *shouldn't* have done any harm. I guess we'd done
that sort of thing before--well, when we were a lot younger.

I... we had our pants down. No, it's *not* what you think--I think we
just wanted to see what we looked like. Like I said, Dan and I had done
the same thing before when we were younger. Just looking.

It was just about silent. Any talk would have spoiled the mood or
something. My pants and underpants were down and so were Dan's. We were
behind his father's shed and only the woods were behind and no one was
around. I looked at his cock. I didn't get to look too closely at other
boys' cocks, and I *was* curious. You wouldn't want to be staring in
the locker room! Like I said, we'd looked when we were little, but now
that our cocks were, well, developed, it was only with Dan, who I'd
known just about forever, that I'd even *think* of doing something like
this with.

I didn't even consider touching it: I merely wanted to see. He'd looked
closely at mine too, also not touching. It was so quiet. No one was
around.

"Uh, better get dressed," said Dan, rather quietly, but sounding
concerned. I looked up to see him looking over my shoulder into the
woods, appearing rather stricken. Then he was pulling up his pants.
"Deborah!" he hissed.

I had my pants up in a panic. We rushed away, toward his house. "Did
she see us?" I asked. He didn't answer, though I know he heard me.

*Of all the people to see us*. Why did Deborah have to see me like
that? She was a year older than us--a junior--but I'd had a crush on
her for *years*. Well, I guess she'd finally noticed me. Ha! I wanted
to fold myself into another dimension and disappear.

Dan and I closed the back door, and looked at each other, catching our
breath. "I don't think she'll tell anybody," he said. I couldn't
respond: I still felt sick to my stomach, her seeing us like that.

I thought about going home. Would she see me leaving the house? I
realized I wouldn't know when it would be safe to leave. What did she
think of us? *A couple of kids*. I didn't *want* her to think of me as
a kid. But if she thought of me as anything else...

"She won't tell anybody," repeated Dan. I felt he was right even though
just the thought of the alternative kept me feeling frightened. The
doorbell rang.

It was Deborah. We both stared at her, having opened the door before we
realized. "Hi, boys," she said, walking in uninvited.

"Hi," said Dan, in a wary voice. I think I mumbled something, but I was
too paralyzed to do much else. We followed her into the living room.

"Your parents are gone." She said it to Dan--not a question: just a
statement. We didn't say anything. "I saw you," she continued. I
thought she might just be pausing in the middle of a sentence, but then
realized she was done. Then she smiled.

I loved that smile. Seeing her smiling at her friends. I recalled the
few times she'd smiled just for me. I used to think about her when I
lay in bed: just her and me, imagining that we were out on our own.
"Don't be embarrassed: it's OK," she finally continued.

Dan giggled briefly: "You're *all right*," he said, obviously relieved.

"It doesn't bother me--I'm not prejudiced," she responded.

I looked at her, trying to make out what she was saying. Dan looked
confused too. "I *am* curious," she went on, "how you *do* it."

"Do it?" asked Dan, still looking confused.

"Yes, you know, when you do it."

"Do what," I said.

"You know!" she said, smiling again. "What you guys do."

"You think we're *homo*?" said Dan, suddenly. I felt another
panic--Deborah thinks that we're...that I'm homo!

She giggled. "Look, I *saw* you--I *told* you it doesn't *bother* me."

"We were just..." said Dan, suddenly seeming to lose his ability to
speak. "...just...looking," he finally managed to stammer, his voice
weak.

"I *said* it doesn't bother me," she insisted. "Come on! I *am*
curious."

"But we're *not*!"

"Look," she said, then pausing for a second. "I won't tell anybody. I
*saw* you."

"But..."

"Hey, I know no one wants to admit they're homo. But I *saw* you back
there. You can admit it to me."

"But we're *not*!" I managed to stammer.

She looked slightly exasperated, then said: "OK, you're not going to
admit it."

"But..." I started again, seeing that she wasn't believing us.

"You want me to *tell everybody*?"

I stared at her. Dan did too. She seemed a little peeved. "But we're
*not*," I finally said again, feeling weak.

"I'll tell everybody what I saw," she answered.

"But..."

"I *will*!"

I spoke again: "Deborah, *please*..."

"Just *stop it*!" she said loudly. Silence. "Stop *repeating* that."

We just sat there, no idea what to do. She spoke again: "I'm just
curious, that's all. I *know* you can't admit to it. I just want to
know how you *do* it."

"Deborah..."

"OK, *don't* admit it," she said, and paused. Then: "Do it again...
what you were doing."

"Deborah!"

"I'll leave! And tell."

I looked at Dan and he looked at me. How had she gotten these ideas in
her head? "I'll tell everybody at school," she said. "Just what I
saw..." I glanced at Dan again and he was looking so nervous. "Pull
down your pants again."

I touched the buckle of my belt and Dan did the same thing. Soon we
were both unbuckling. And unbuttoning and unzipping. And our pants were
down. "Your underpants," she said.

We were both standing there, in front of her. She looked at my cock and
at Dan's. She looked up at both of us. "I've got to see it."

"What."

Suddenly she was darting out of the room. "Stay like that," she said as
she left. I looked at Dan and he looked back at me. Who would have
believed the position we were in? She was back with a tube in her hand.
"I want to see how you *do* it," she repeated.

"Deborah..." I started again.

"I'll *tell!*" she responded. She looked at my cock again. "Take off
the rest," she said, obviously to me.

What could I do? I did it. Naked. She just looked at me, and walked
around me, inspecting me. While she was behind me, she put her hand on
my rear cheek and ran it up ad down a little. *Deborah touching my
rear!*. In front of me she smiled again. "Get down on the floor." I
didn't move. "I'll tell." I got down. "Your stomach here," she said,
indicating the seat of the sofa.

"Deborah!"

"I'll tell."

I got down. "Get behind him," she said to Dan. "Put some of this on
your cock," she said. "Do it--I swear I'll tell." He was behind me!
"Get it hard." I couldn't believe this! "OK, do it. I want to *see*
this."

Nothing happened. "I'll leave now. And tell," she said. Dan touched my
hip, then sort of grabbed it. I knelt there. How could I be in this
position? Deborah right here! I felt his cock against my rear. "Push it
in," she said. "Show me... I want to see it *all* or I'll tell..."

I didn't think I could do this. I *had* to stop it. I didn't know what
to do. Dan pressed. I had to do my best to let him in! I didn't have
any choice! "Oh wow!" I heard her say. I could hear a smile in her
voice. Was she laughing at us? It didn't seem like it, but I still
wanted to die right there.

I felt it sliding in. He pressed. His body bumped my rear and I
realized it was all the way in. "Do you slide it in and out?" she
asked. Dan didn't say anything. "Do it," she finally continued. I felt
Dan start to pull it out, then back in. Then faster. And faster. And on
and on he went.

And I felt it. Him spurting in me. I heard his breath catch. He'd been
breathing heavily. I didn't look at him. I couldn't. I couldn't look at
Deborah. "Oh wow!" she repeated.

He just knelt there behind me for a second, still in me, exhausted.
Then he was out of me. I heard the sound of a kiss. Then suddenly
Deborah was grabbing my head and kissed me on the cheek. "Thanks," she
said to me quietly, and then I heard her leave.

Then Dan was gone and I was there, alone in his living room. I quickly
got dressed and left.

"Listen, I want to talk to you." It was Deborah, catching me in the
hall, the next day at school. She didn't usually pay me much attention
other than when we were in our own neighborhood. She pulled me toward a
less crowded hallway. "Listen, thanks again," she said, smiling at me.
I loved that smile.

"Deborah, we're not gay."

"Look, I know you can't admit it--I just wanted to thank you again: I'd
always been curious about how you do it."

"Deborah," I hissed, but she walked away.

The next day, at lunch, she sat with me! I was sitting alone and she
just came up and sat across from me! She smiled at me: a shared secret.
"It was fun," she said, "you don't mind so much that I watched, do
you?"

"Deborah, I'm not gay!" I said, keeping my voice low.

"I'm going to ignore that. How often do you two do it?"

"We don't!"

"*Please* tell me? I won't tell."

"But we don't!"

She didn't say any more. She did smile at me a little through the rest
of lunch, but we just sat there. No one sat with us: I didn't really
have a group to sit with, and her friends were on the other side of the
cafeteria. The next day at lunch, she was back again.

"I want to see it again."

"Deborah, we aren't gay!"

"I've read that gays often deny it."

"But we're not!"

"I want to see it again."

"Deborah..."

"I'll tell." I stared at her. "I'll tell everyone what you two did."

That afternoon Dan and I were at her house. We'd been sort of avoiding
each other since she'd left us there in his living room. Once again,
she watched us both undress, cajoling and threatening us, then I knelt
against her sofa while Dan did me again.

And that wasn't the end of it: a week later, she demanded that we show
her again. And again. We'd be at her house and she'd have us both
undress completely. She'd give us a tube of K.Y. jelly and Dan would
put it on his cock and I would push some in my rear. And he would do it
to me.

And at lunch, she'd interrogate me: "What does it feel like?" I didn't
know how to answer questions like that.

It was so ironic. Before, I wouldn't have *dreamed* of eating lunch
with Deborah every day and now that is exactly what I was doing! And a
part of me loved it. It was so weird, her talking to me every day as if
I were gay and continuing to ask me what it felt like and why I liked
it and everything. And any time I told her I wasn't gay, she'd just
refuse to listen to me. And if I tried to refuse when she wanted to
watch Dan and me, she'd threaten me again.

She was so curious. But there just wasn't much I could tell her. I
didn't really want it. And there were only so many words you could use
to describe the physical sensation. But she just kept asking.

Then one day she said: "I know how it feels." I looked at her: she was
going to start telling me how she thought it must feel. "Dan and I
pretended I was a boy."

"You *what*?" I gasped.

"I did what you do." She was all smiles. "I told Dan to pretend I was a
boy and it worked: he did it! Then she was silent for a while. "I'm
sorry: are you jealous?"

"No!" She had had sex with Dan! I was jealous as hell.

"I'm sorry...I want to see you two do it this afternoon."

My mind raced. She'd let Dan do her rear! It was unbelievable. That
afternoon she knelt next to me as he did it to me. "It feels so full,
doesn't it?" she said. I managed to say yes. She reached under me and
briefly touched my cock, then withdrew her hand. Then she whispered in
my ear "so full, so full" while he was doing me. He came.

Then soon after that, she told me she'd gotten Dan to do it to her
again. Soon she was reporting such encounters about as often as she was
making me come over to her house so she could watch me and Dan.

I was in love with her. Maybe it had been a crush before. It was so
stupid: how could I get so hooked on her when we were in this weird
relationship?

But I was *so* frustrated. Once I suggested we go out. She treated it
like she always did whenever I said I wasn't gay: she just talked as if
I were *in denial* as she said.

It was too much. Other girls wouldn't look at me because I ate lunch
with Deborah every day. I didn't have many other friends, and Dan and I
now avoided each other except when we were at Deborah's. I finally
asked a girl from another school to go out with me. I didn't have a
license yet so my parents ended up dropping us at a movie and picking
us up. Cathy was nice and I lay in bed thinking of her. I realized I
could like her instead of Deborah.

We went out again, again to a movie. In the theater she said: "A girl
told me about you".

"Who?"

"That girl in your neighborhood, Deborah. About you and that other
boy."

"What did she say?!"

"Listen, it's OK, I know you don't like to admit it. I know you're
trying to cover up, going out with me. I don't mind...too much."

After that time, she wouldn't go out with me again. And it was the same
the whole school year and the next.

Deborah stayed in town to go to college. She still had us over once a
week or so. And she'd call me on the phone and tell me about doing it
with Dan. "Pretending to be a boy" as she said. "Listen," she asked
once: "I read that guys like to do it rough to each other. Does Dan
like to do it rough?"

"Deborah!" I said, exasperated.

"Do you like it rougher?"

The next night, she called me again. "I got him to do it harder. I
think he liked it better--I think it makes it easier for him to imagine
I'm a boy."

Then when we were at her house, she insisted that Dan let loose and
show her how we did it rough. He shoved me onto the floor, my rear in
the air, grabbed my hips, and banged hard into me--I couldn't believe
what was happening. After that, she was always encouraging him to be
rougher with me, and he would grab me while I was still dressed and
practically rip off my clothes. He shoved me against the wall sometimes
and forced me to do it one way and another. It made me realize exactly
how strong he is. And on the phone, Deborah told me what an animal he
was with her.

Eventually Dan and I graduated. That summer, Deborah came over to my
house one day and showed me her left hand: she had a wedding band on!

"We did it!" she said, gleefully. "We're married now!" Who? Her and
Dan? I wasn't aware of anyone else she was seeing! I felt like
something had hit me in the chest. I just didn't understand--I didn't
understand anything at all. Then I noticed she was looking worried:
"Uh, it doesn't change anything: I don't mind if you two still do it."

"Why did you marry him?"

"Well, it seemed to work, him pretending I'm a boy."

"But..." Was *that* a reason? It *seemed to work*?

"Listen, I'll tell you a secret," she said. "I kind-of wish it was you
I married. But Dan seemed to be able to make it work, the *pretend*
business." She kissed me on the cheek, but immediately drew back. Then
she was gone. Aaarrrggghhh!

And all was back to the usual: she had me over; she watched Dan do my
rear; she told me all about their sex. I couldn't believe some of the
things she told me--she let him hold her by the hair while he did
her--she let him tie her hands. She let him tie her spread-eagle, face
down on the bed and do her. She wanted me to do the same with him. I
had no choice.

I had to do something: anything to get out of this. I decided to move
to another city. I didn't tell Deborah--I just quietly planned and
arranged it. I felt like I needed to break out of this life.

And I did it, never telling Deborah or Dan a thing--where I was going
or anything. I got a job. And signed up for community college courses.
And actually dated. And met Rachel.

And I felt Rachel was my savior: the one who would make me forget
Deborah. Once again I was on track. And I was a virgin-of-sorts with
Rachel, but not for long. Soon we were mostly living together and
engaged. It was so sweet sleeping with her every night, making love
whenever we felt like it. It was just what I needed.

We were growing more confident with each other, though naturally I told
her nothing about Deborah or Dan. We started being a little daring: we
rented X- rated videos and watched them while we were in bed. Once,
with a little clever planning, we managed to *do it* in a public park
in the middle of the day. She was becoming more confident about asking
for things in bed, and so was I. I felt like my life was finally on
track.

And one night after we made love, she lay there on her side, playing
with my cock and she whispered in my ear: "I did what you want."

I didn't quite understand what she was saying, so I just relaxed,
enjoying what she was doing to me. She repeated it: "I did what you
want."

"What do you mean?"

She giggled. "I met your ex-girlfriend and she told me what you like."

"Huh?" Saywhat?

"How she lost you because she wouldn't, *you know*."

I couldn't quite sort this out. "What did you do?" I asked,
deliberately.

"I let another man do my ass." I lay there stunned. "She told me how
you couldn't make yourself stay with her because you wanted so much for
her to go out and do that and she couldn't make herself do it."

"Who was she?"

"Your old girlfriend! I met her a couple of weeks ago. She told me all
about you before you moved here. She's real nice. She got her husband
to do it with me." *She'd let Dan do her rear*! "It was so nice of her
to warn me: she said you'd kept your desires bottled up and ended up
leaving her before she had much chance to get used to the idea after
you finally admitted it to her." *She'd let Dan do her rear*! "I'd do
anything for you. You remember that." *I'd* never done her rear or
anything like that!

I was in a daze all day. I'd tried calling Deborah, but no answer. That
night, Rachel looked frightened. She said: "Today... she told me about
you and Dan."

Deborah was still in town? But I knew exactly what Deborah had told
her. "Where is she?" I asked, feeling wary.

"They're coming here." I almost collapsed in my chair, feeling
defeated. I was in a daze. They arrived, Rachel letting them in. I said
*hi*, but it was like I was watching the whole scene from afar. Deborah
was in form, giving the orders. Rachel undressed. I watched Dan do her.
He flung her around, shoved her body over the back of a living-room
chair and fucked her rear so hard. She seemed out of it, in her own
daze.

Deborah ordered me to undress. I waited patiently, leaning over the
same chair. Deborah and Rachel watched him do me. Deborah held Rachel's
hand as they watched. Rachel's eyes were huge, glued on me.

Then Dan did Deborah. He was much rougher on her than he was on Rachel
or me--I couldn't believe how wild he was with her. Deborah managed to
look at me through her wild hair while he shoved into her.

They come up to visit sometimes. Dan does the three of us. When they
arrive, he tells us to strip. And he has us do things like touch our
toes, or kneel and put our heads to the floor. We serve him dinner, his
naked slaves. We suck his cock. Sometimes he likes to use a belt on us.
When he is fucking me, I see Deborah holding Rachel's hand. Sometimes
she touches Rachel's body a little, but Rachel's eyes are always glued
on Dan and me. While Deborah is getting it, Rachel clings to me.
Deborah is always watching me as best she can. Rachel always stares
into space while she is getting it, or shuts her eyes, completely
oblivious to Deborah and me. Then Deborah and I sit with our arms
around each other and talk.

She's told me a lot during those talks. About seeing Dan and me in his
back yard that first time, and how she stared at my "cute little ass".
And how something made her think about seeing a cock sliding into it.
And her sudden realization that she might see just that. And how hot
and frustrated she was when we ran away, and how she *knew* she'd have
to get us to do it somehow. And how she masturbated furiously after
every single time she watched me and Dan.

She kisses me a little sometimes: on the mouth. And whispers in my ear
how much she loves me.



		
__________________________________________ 
Yahoo! DSL - Something to write home about. 
Just $16.99/mo. or less. 
dsl.yahoo.com 

-- 
Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights
reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated.
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
| alt.sex.stories.moderated ------ send stories to: <ckought69@hotmail.com>|
| FAQ: <http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/faq.html> Moderators: <story-ckought69@hotmail.com> |
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
|ASSM Archive at <http://assm.asstr-mirror.org>   Hosted by <http://www.asstr-mirror.org> |
|Discuss this story and others in alt.sex.stories.d; look for subject {ASSD}|
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+