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Message-ID: <51623asstr$1122642602@assm.asstr-mirror.org>
From: "Carol C" <cobillard@hotmail.com>
Mime-Version: 1.0
Subject: {ASSM} The Finnish Exchange Student; and The Oral Sex Party
Lines: 1030
Date: Fri, 29 Jul 2005 09:10:02 -0400
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Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories
Followup-To: alt.sex.stories.d

"Oral sex has, undoubtedly, become part of many teenagers' sexual repertory. 
According to the 1995 National Survey of Adolescent Males, released in 2000, 
about half of boys aged 15 to 19 had received oral sex from a girl, and 
slightly more than a third had performed it. A 2004 NBC-People survey of 13- 
to 16-year-olds found that 12 percent had engaged in oral sex, and 4 percent 
of those -- or less than half a percent overall -- had been to an oral sex 
party."
http://tinyurl.com/9fbuj

-----

"The average age for an American woman to lose her virginity is 16. The 
average age that she experiences her first orgasm is 20.5, a gap that spans 
the majority of our college career. These are the numbers reported by sex 
expert Lou Paget, the Kinsey Institute and Playboy's College Survey."
http://tinyurl.com/bzna4

-----

The real question is not how many kids have "experienced" oral -- or vaginal 
-- sex, but how many have been raised to understand and appreciate the 
important role sex plays in adolescent development, and how many are 
encouraged to have safe sex in a family environment at or soon after 
puberty. That is the innovation which, for all its faults, the religious 
sect once known as the Children of God contributed to the science of 
childraising.

-----

When I was in my junior year of High School, an exchange student from 
Finland came to spend a year in Our Town and was enrolled in several of my 
classes. It does not take long for people of similar backgrounds or ideas to 
find each other, and while obviously others can't detect most persons' 
sexual histories at sight somehow each of us knew, instantly, that the other 
was sexually savvy. Our conversation inevitably moved quickly to oral sex, 
and she told me her story.

The Finnish Exchange Student lived with her parents in one of a small number 
of apartments in a city apartment house. The building contained a sauna for 
residents to use, and she often used it with her family; other residents 
might be there at the same time. All would be nude. She often went there 
with a boy of her age who also lived in the building. Sexual activity of any 
kind was forbidden in that, as in other public saunas in Finland.
http://www.answers.com/topic/sauna-1
That didn't stop her and the boy from being curious about each other's sex 
parts, especially when the two of them crossed the threshold into puberty 
and those sex parts started to grow. In fact they took to measuring each 
other with a tape measure from time to time and, after a while, to 
masturbating each other. She would play with his penis to make it hard, and 
then use saliva or perhaps body oil or lotion so her hand could slide easily 
up and down his penis. He would moisten his fingers with saliva and rub them 
against her clitoris and the other sensitive parts that she had showed him 
by spreading apart her labia. It was only natural that their use of saliva 
on their fingers led to their applying it directly by licking each other's 
sex parts, and from there to using their mouths and tongues directly. Soon 
they were performing oral sex on each other whenever they had the 
opportunity. In the beginning, the boy hadn't been ejaculating very much 
semen and it was easy to swallow it without thinking about it. As time went 
on, the volume of his semen increased but she didn't want to spit it out and 
offend; she wound up swallowing it bit by bit. But one day, long after 
they'd started this routine, her mother came in to the sauna to tell her 
something just after the boy had ejaculated into her mouth; now she had to 
swallow a lot of semen suddenly in order to speak. It was to be the first 
and last time she would feel any embarrassment or hesitation about oral sex, 
about semen, or about anything to do with sex. And she was 14.

Her mom acted as if she had seen nothing, but later on when her father came 
home, the two of them insisted on showing her how to put on a condom, using 
her father's erect penis as a model, and made her promise always to use one 
when she had sex.

She hadn't ever had vaginal sex but took her parents' admonition as an 
invitation to start -- not with the neighboring boy who, despite their 
regular oral sex was not a boy friend at all but just a convenient partner. 
Before she was 15 the Finnish Exchange Student had come to enjoy a full sex 
life with a string of boys she'd fancied. This, she thought, didn't at all 
displease her parents, who may have had at least some exposure to the 
thinking and way of life of the Children of God sect in the 1970s but who in 
any case could scarcely have been called prudish.
http://www.religionnewsblog.com/10802

Since she had talked so freely to me about oral sex I thought she would 
really enjoy attending a nude dance at Mom's Friend's House. She seemed 
really cultured so I arranged to pair her with a boy I really liked and 
respected, who was smart, played the piano, was a good dancer (more 
coordinated on the dance floor than I), looked great when nude and was 
really considerate at sex. I knew she would like him, and that she would 
love his penis, which had given me and girls I knew a lot of excitement, a 
lot of semen and a lot of pleasure.

The dance was several weeks away, and I explained to her our protocols and 
our theology: that from earliest childhood kids should know and see 
adolescents and adults having sex, that with the very start of puberty they 
should be free to experiment. How our theology had its roots in the Children 
of God, but that coercion, incest, abuse and sex between minors of 
substantially different ages was forbidden. That oral sex was considered an 
essential part of foreplay, that arousal and erection signified divine 
presence and semen is the Host of Holy Communion, genuinely and genetically 
the Body and Blood of Christ. Furthermore that girls who wanted to could 
have a coming-out party with a chosen boy of her own age deflowering her in 
front of her mother, his mother and a few friends. We tried to banish false 
modesty, guilt, inhibition and embarrassment. Our policy was and is feminist 
in the sense that the initiative in sex rightfully belongs to the girl and 
that sex should be intellectual and spiritual as much as physical.

Both the issue of feminism and puberty were tested in my case, insofar as I 
so often (as I've written, especially in my essay on seducing boys on the 
houseboat), from right after my accidental defloration and subsequent public 
oral sex with flourishes at the age of 11, to about the age of 14, 
deliberately sought out virgin boys to translate their nervousness, sexual 
discomfort and general reticence into confident sexuality and a taste for 
oral sex. Since I was only 11, and most boys are just starting puberty then 
or in the following year, I asked my Mom -- who always supported my 
sexuality -- what the criteria for seduction rightly should be. Her answer 
was the same as the one I have seen in Islamic law: if the target has as 
much as a single pubic hair, he or she has sexual capacity. And, she added, 
the right to try: if the boy has any pubic hair and if he can get an 
erection when the two of you are nude and you are fondling his penis, then 
there is no reason why you shouldn't put that penis in your mouth. But, she 
said, you must choose your boy wisely: choose those who will respond to your 
needs, who will love your vagina as it is, and take the time to make love to 
your clitoris and bring you to climax. So she said, and so it was. Most boys 
I seduced I would never see again. There were, however, a few who I fancied, 
and a couple of those I kept on retainer, so to speak, for their whole 
puberty year, kissing and loving their penis from its first pubic hair to 
its total maturity and full, impressive ejaculation. Once a boy got used to 
me, I liked to show off his penis to Mom. His first drops of semen would be 
particularly precious, and they were something I would want her to see.

Mom, too, would make mental notes of the progress of a boy's penis in size, 
capacity and in technique. Several times she commented how nice it would 
have been if she'd had both a son and a daughter so that she could have 
watched both grow up in their different ways, for, she said, there is 
nothing so lovely as seeing a penis come into its own, growing, developing, 
and ejaculating; that the nicest thing about being in the communal house and 
later in Mom's Friend's House was the chance to see so many erections and so 
many ejaculations of boys of all ages. I wondered sometimes whether she 
hadn't had some experiences in the CoG that she did not admit to, because 
Moses David clearly allowed and approved of girls and women seducing 
pubescent and even pre-pubescent boys. There was one boy I had more or less 
regular relations with month after month from the time he was 11 until after 
his 13th birthday when we had a blistering fight and I never saw him naked 
again. In fact, I kept a growth chart for him over that time, a chart of the 
sort that a lot of parents keep over the heights of their children, only 
this one charted the growth of his penis. In retrospect it's too bad I 
didn't also take a lot of photographs; all I have to remember him by now is 
a half-dozen faded Polaroid shots of a medical sort I took of his penis, and 
the chart I wrote out in pencil on graph paper. I'm only sorry I couldn't 
take a Polaroid of his penis the first time I got a real discharge of semen 
from him. It must have been less than a teaspoon, but I was so surprised I 
put it back on his penis with my tongue and called over Mom to see it. The 
next time, weeks later, I tried to make him ejaculate by just stimulating 
the tip of his penis with my tongue but it didn't work right for several 
reasons: the head of his penis wasn't really big enough, his semen just sort 
of dribbled out, and he didn't deliver nearly as much semen as he had the 
time before. Some boys can be counted on for their penis to discharge enough 
semen in the minutes after ejaculation to make a pretty picture with a sort 
of puddle of semen at the end of a hard or semi-hard penis, but those are 
usually older boys and also it's something you never can count on, 
especially if you are trying to put on something of a show for others.

There was no secret of my affair with that boy and with the others: I think 
the mothers of boys I had affairs with were quite proud to see that their 
boy was precious and that he was taking our faith so literally, and also 
that he was so comfortable with and knowledgeable about the inner workings 
of a girl's vagina. As I've said, all too few mothers get to see their son's 
penis as it grows into adulthood, except maybe by accident, and fewer still 
have the delight of seeing a pubescent or adolescent son proudly showing it 
off as his girl plays with it and makes it ejaculate. Especially when she 
makes it ejaculate, and more especially if she lets her see a bit of his 
semen and how she adores it. I've had the satisfaction and pleasure so many 
times of being that girl and seeing a delighted mother call her friends over 
to show off her boy's precociousness.

Of course once a boy or a girl has experienced a genuine orgasm under happy 
circumstances it is impossible to put the genie back in the bottle. Those 
chastity and abstinence pledges are hokum, and refraining from sex is (1) 
impossible and (2) a sin on many Biblical counts -- most obviously because 
the alternative for boys, masturbation, is intolerable: Genesis 38:7-10. 
Certainly any boy who produces semen and any girl of menstruation age should 
be enjoying frequent sex.

The newspaper articles on my Web site discuss the CoG teaching and practice 
in the context of the tragic Davidito case, and they are archived on my Web 
site. I should note, by the way, that the issue that causes social workers 
and psychologists to rail against child sex never could apply to us because 
for one thing our sex was always between peers, boy and girl of the same 
age. For another, there was no emotional baggage, since boy and girl were 
both taught from birth that orgasm was its own reward, so that oral sex, for 
example, should leave no more "guilt" than masturbation, and the only guilt 
masturbation could produce is that imposed by some false priest. 
Furthermore, to put to rest the concerns expressed (among others) by Dr. 
Benjamin Spock that a boy might be made to feel inadequate by being forced 
to compare, through family nudity, his immature penis to the grown penis of 
an adult, I can only say that size is irrelevant to oral sex and the 
enjoyment of an orgasm and the penis's continued, measurable growth from the 
appearance of that first pubic hair until the date of the maximum 
ejaculation are both totally reassuring. Once a boy has had his penis in a 
girl's mouth and/or vagina, fears of inadequacy and incompetence melt away, 
although I have found that if the boy's penis never grows larger than 
average, unless and until he realizes that (1) it's something of an 
advantage in oral sex and (2) big penises often have erection problems in 
proportion to their size, he may have something of an inferiority complex. I 
suppose crude girls will ridicule an attempt at a young boy to seduce; but 
our girl-oriented ethic and protocol worked the other way. Ridicule would 
have destroyed the romance and the passion and the fun, and it never 
happened. I saw all sizes and shapes of penises at our dance parties, and 
all of them were ejaculating and giving and receiving delight. As Divine 
Brown said of Hugh Grant's penis, "I've seen bigger and I've seen smaller. 
His was cute".
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hugh_Grant
(That statement isn't recorded anywhere by Google or Wikipedia, but I know I 
heard it at the time, perhaps in a report of her news conference when she 
was flown to London by some journalist to surprise Grant.)

How much of this sort of thinking the Finnish Exchange Student believed and 
accepted I could not know, but her personal history was consistent with it 
and she was clearly excited about attending the dance. I had no date of my 
own, so I was assigned one, a boy I hadn't seen before who was connected to 
another breakaway CoG family that Mom's Friend knew. There would be perhaps 
30 kids there, all between the ages of 13 and 18. (As I've written in 
earlier essays, we and other groups of families held these parties at one or 
another house about once a month. There would be nude dancing for a couple 
of hours and then, invariably, all or most of the guests would have sex -- 
always with the partner they had brought or who had been assigned. The 
atmosphere of so many couples having sexual fun enhanced everybody's 
enjoyment. It wasn't competitive sex (whatever that means), but the rule was 
that every girl should have the opportunity of orgasm, which meant that 
every girl had the right to expect her boy to kiss and lick her vagina and 
her clitoris as long as necessary to bring her fulfillment. Of course some, 
perhaps many, girls can reach orgasm often, maybe even predictably, with 
just penis in vagina; but we hold that even such girls have a right to 
expect vagina and their clitoris to be made special love to, to be kissed 
and aroused orally. Boys (and girls, too) knew that they were on show and of 
course they wanted to be in demand as partners. To keep sex safe, sex 
without a condom was restricted to our own closed circle; within that circle 
most of us wanted to get to know, and enjoy sex with, every eligible person 
of the opposite sex.

The Finnish Exchange Student showed no modesty at all and a certain self 
assurance and pride in disrobing for the party. I introduced her to her 
date, and they kissed politely and looked each other over. I saw that she 
had an athletic body, one that many would rate ideal: I heard one boy 
comment that she had "nipples that could poke a guy's eye out". There was 
certainly no cellulite to be found on her body. Remembering, perhaps too 
cruelly, a medical warning I'd read, I inspected her body from a distance 
for defects, perhaps a melanoma. Girls will be catty and cruel, won't they?

My own date came and I would help him undress. I let him take off by himself 
his shoes, jeans and shirt and then I moved forward and I lowered his 
underpants, hesitating at the level of his pubic hair and then swiftly 
dropping them to the floor. I couldn't help admiring his penis, which stood 
out so nicely on its bed of pubic hair, and his scrotum and lovely balls 
which I knew would excite any girl. I looked around to see if any of the 
other girls were admiring him, and through him, me. Then I gave his penis a 
light kiss on the tip, and a little lick by way of promise. I wanted it to 
acknowledge me, to want my body, to get erect, to pulsate with excitement, 
to find its way into my body and to give me its love and its lovely semen. 
The boy didn't catch, or perhaps ignored, my thoughts. He took off my bra 
and took off my panties and inspected what he'd revealed. I whispered a word 
of warning that I was just finishing my period, and he answered, as I knew 
he would that he didn't mind. His nonchalance didn't bother me: I knew that 
he wasn't being cynical or selfish or sending secret messages of conquest to 
other boys. His devotion to sex was, like mine, religious-based, genuine and 
selfless; our purposefulness that would lead to his penis inside me today 
was divinely ordained, his semen the bearer of a chain of DNA that could be 
traced back to the beginning of time. We moved onto the basement dance 
floor. My boy looked around, and his eyes locked on the younger girls there 
and then towards the Finnish Exchange Student. I had only a twinge of doubt 
before he turned back to me, smiled broadly, kissed me again and started to 
dance. The swaying of his penis as he danced reminded me of how much I fun 
was in store for the two of us. I could barely wait for the hour to pass 
until we could dance closely and his penis rise against my body, subject to 
my further orders. I hoped I could then find a drop of seminal fluid at its 
tip, bring it to my tongue and bring him and me to a state of delirious 
anticipation. I wondered why anyone would think our conduct naughty, 
licentious when it was so beautiful, godly.

Dancers on the floor tended to self-segregate by age, so we had a good view 
of the Finnish Exchange Student for much of the evening. The dancing started 
out fast and furious. After an hour the tape would have more and more slow 
dances so that the dancing couples would press together and the sexual 
electricity would build. We would often see a girl smilingly move her hips 
back to allow her boy's penis to spring up, and maybe she would put her hand 
around it, cuddling it briefly and feeling its warmth. Boys found all sorts 
of excuses to stop dancing for a minute and play with their girl's breasts, 
and even to sit down to have a drink, perhaps with the girl seated on the 
boy's lap, her legs on either side of his, giving access for his fingers to 
explore her vagina. Occasionally one of the (mostly younger) girls would 
find an excuse to play with her boy's penis, either to tease him or to show 
it off to her friends. As I've written, younger girls and boys, once they 
have become sexually active, tend to be perfunctory in their foreplay and to 
spend a minimum of time kissing and playing with breasts, and so forth. I 
always told the youngest kids that none of them was allowed to put penis in 
girl until had my boy's penis inside me. That helped to get the pubescent 
and adolescent boys to plan their evening wisely and not ejaculate too soon 
and thus have a chance to get bored and make mischief. There was no alcohol 
except those few times Mom's Friend made a rather dilute sangria or when 
there was a celebratory glass of champagne to be had. There were never any 
drugs, at least none that we found out about. Access to Mom's Friend's House 
was so precious to these kids that they were largely kept in line. Even when 
we had to exclude someone we left open the possibility of forgiveness, which 
I think helped us avoid ever being denounced to the authorities or subjected 
to reprisals. We kept, when nude, to the basement or the backyard, the house 
was quiet at the front and removed in the country sufficiently to avoid 
prying ears and eyes.

I had more or less inherited from Older Girl (Mom's Friend's daughter; Mom's 
Friend owned the house) when she got to be 19 the responsibility of seeing 
that everybody had a good time. I took that to mean that I should be among 
the first to break away from the dance floor and to have a close look at my 
date's body. Somehow, with neither of us having articulated anything, we 
wound up in the soixante-neuf position: me on top, my vagina right over my 
date's mouth, and my mouth firmly over his penis. I'm very proud of my 
vagina, and I like that position because others can see my partner kissing 
and making love to it. The onlooker can watch the progress of my excitement 
and arousal as I approach climax. Every girl wants to be in demand, and over 
the years boys I've been constantly surrounded by eager boys of our ethic 
who were, as they said, captivated by my comportment during sex: by the 
sight of penis and semen at my mouth or by my vagina, raised in Mom's 
favorite position with a grand penis making love to it in full view. Doesn't 
every boy think he can do as well to please me and to be pleased? Mutual 
oral sex is equally captivating. Boys and girls alike become fixated by what 
is, in effect, a dual celebration, a two-ring show, one more exciting and 
lovely than the other.

Poised over my boy's body, I circled the base of his penis with thumb and 
forefinger and cupped his testicles with my other fingers. The tightness of 
my tongue and lips against his penis, and especially against its tip, seemed 
to cause him to lose focus from time to time. He would, I knew, be 
anticipating his own orgasm and he'd forget to lick my vagina, my clitoris. 
I knew, but didn't really mind that day, that he was going to have his 
orgasm first. Another day, another boy, I might have criticized for the same 
forgetfulness but his penis was too grand for that. When he did ejaculate I 
wanted everybody to notice and so I let some of his semen drip down and then 
sucked in the rest and swallowed it noisily. After that I rolled over and 
had him approach my vagina from below me, crouched on his knees. That meant 
his penis was still in view, at least to others watching; I wanted to keep 
tabs on its state of erection but I couldn't. When in due course I came it 
was fantastic, and I pulled him up on top of me in the expectation that he 
would still have an erection. His penis went easily inside my wet vagina and 
for anyone watching it must have been gorgeous: a strong penis making love 
to a wet, dilated vagina. Anybody watching would have become transfixed by 
the penile in-and-out movements, the building crescendo, and the expectation 
of another ejaculation.

(The dance of penis in vagina is a minuet that has gone on for thousands of 
millennia and it is nothing less than a tragedy that religious and social 
fanatics have conspired to keep it secret and private and to instill in most 
people a fear of its being seen. If I haven't made clear what I mean by 
these sex positions there's a "Page of Black-and-White Illustrations" that 
shows what is meant and it's accessible from the index site for these 
essays:
http://www.angelfire.com/co4/cobil/
Notice especially how nice it is to see a penis firmly grasped by a loving 
vagina. When mothers brought young children to visit, their first sight of 
penis in vagina that way, when adolescents took the trouble to position 
themselves so the vagina could be seen, was the best possible sex education: 
suddenly they realized the treasure they owned and kept between their legs, 
and that in a few years they could have such pleasure too. Also, exposure to 
penis in mouth would prove to them that there is nothing "dirty" about sex 
and, of course, that semen is lovely. The religious aspect of sex and semen 
took longer to explain; but it is that which made pubescent kids, not 
notably eager to start sex that young in mainstream society, in a hurry to 
do so with us.)

Several younger (12? 13? 14?) teens had come over to watch me and my partner 
making love. I was really pleased that they were there. For pubescent kids, 
the watching of other, even older, teens at sex is never prurient but rather 
sex-ed learning, getting new ideas or (as it turned out to be in this case) 
gaining the confidence to go ahead and insert penis into vagina for the 
first time. I had, years before when I was 12 and 13, enjoyed seducing young 
pubescent boys, taking a boy's penis into my mouth and showing him what he 
was capable of. Later, at Mom's Friend's House, I was happy to be within 
view of curious kids when the 16-Year-Old Boy and I made love, just as I was 
happy for anyone else, especially Mom, to see me. These kids whispered among 
themselves, stared and, from time to time, pointed and gaped. But their 
demeanor was serious; they were clearly aroused, which is to say that 
penises were at various states of erection and at least some of the boys and 
girls were shivering nervously. I had seen it all before; surely those boys 
too would be putting penis in girl within a few minutes.

By the time my partner and I had enough and had separated and seated 
ourselves to catch our breath, the Finnish Exchange Student had grasped her 
date's penis and moved around to put her mouth over it. She seemed not only 
athletic but very elegant and sexy as her tongue encircled the head of her 
date's penis and her mouth closed around it and moved in very short 
trajectory up and down, not -- as most girls do or try to do -- taking the 
whole penis into her mouth or even most of it, but only applying friction to 
the head and the crown and the area just below that. Later she would tell me 
that she had never seen a circumcised penis until that night and certainly 
never had one in her mouth. (Over the next year she would come to know many 
more as she attended all our dances and parties and found a new lover at 
each.) She thought it was really nice to have such easy access to all the 
most sensitive parts of the penis, and that the penis made a pretty picture 
standing up straight, circumcised, stiff and ready to ejaculate. This 
probably explains why she would take the penis out of her mouth so often to 
examine it and to try to see what effect her mouth was having on it. Like 
most of us, she would stare briefly at its slit to try to guess how close it 
was to spurting out semen so her mouth would be ready to deal with it, to 
appreciate it.

After fewer than a dozen so strokes of her mouth on her boy's penis, the 
Finnish Exchange Student moved her body around so that her vagina was right 
at her boy's mouth in the way that mine had been over my boy's mouth. 
Because I'd had mutual oral sex with her boy many times I knew he would 
react appropriately, and indeed, instantly his tongue darted deep into her 
vagina. Then he moved it to her clitoris and ran it in circular strokes, and 
then back and forth. Occasionally he would take all her soft parts into his 
mouth and kiss and suck on them. We could see her vagina responding, 
changing, dilating and it was lovely. He would repeat the cycle. When, after 
a while, she cried out in delight, he pressed his tongue directly against 
her clitoris and moved it in simple back and forth motions. Now she gave his 
penis her undivided attention, a steady cadence of up-and-down until he 
ejaculated. I thought I saw a droplet of semen escape from a corner of her 
mouth but I couldn't be sure until she sat up, opened her mouth to show us 
the semen that had collected on her tongue and swallowed it all with a 
glowing, innocent smile.

I took note of the kids who had been watching. One of them was a girl who I 
knew to have had a coming-out party not long before. After her public 
defloration she had strutted about a lot, and she'd spoken of her "virgin 
brother" who regrettably "couldn't attend the coming party because of unfair 
rules". With her was a boy I'd seen around in the past and who Mom had once 
told me had a reputation as a "reliable partner" -- meaning that despite his 
young age he had an impressive penis and was kind to girls, had a sunny 
disposition and was popular. Mothers are always judging and gossiping over 
the qualities of penises, and not just their sons'. I've written extensively 
on that mystical relationship between a mother and her son's penis and her 
delight, for many moms, to be present at its first use -- even if only in 
her mind's eye. This is something one saw at every defloration party, 
whether or not the mother undressed her son before the nude girl, as mothers 
of younger adolescent boys liked to do -- taking credit, in a way, for his 
erection. I know that a lot of encounters between mothers and their son's 
penises, whether when undressing, bathing or masturbating are not so 
accidental as they are made to seem.

Another couple was with this girl and they turned out to be her best friend 
-- who was supposed to be on a sleepover at her house -- and that 
13-year-old brother she complained had been excluded from her defloration 
party. (For one thing, the boys present have to be invited by the girls' 
friends who will be there, and for another, since they will probably want to 
have sex the boy really oughtn't to be a virgin.) The boy was cute as could 
be, one of the sweetest of sights, a young adolescent boy with no hair on 
his body except on his head and around a big, adult penis. That penis was 
now sticking straight out and pointing at us, and his girl was trying hard 
not to stare at it and reveal her inexperience. Yet without her moving her 
head, her eyes were constantly darting away from me and down to his penis 
every few seconds. All in cute, shy innocence. One had to compare the boy's 
precocious penis with her own small rounded breasts and her sparse, soft 
pubic hair. She was barefoot now, but one wondered whether she knew yet how 
to walk properly on high heels. Still, she was about two years older than I 
had been when a penis first entered my vagina, and I could scarcely argue 
that she was too young. The only complaint Mom's Friend might have had -- if 
she had known -- was that this girl was here on the sly, that her mother 
thought she was back at her friend's, at a girls' pajama party.

The coming-out party girl was taking charge of introducing her friend and 
her brother to sex, more or less according to the protocol of the coming-out 
party. I supposed that she had "groomed" them to want to attend the dance. 
Yet the two kids' obvious nervousness suggested that they had little prior 
exposure to sex, and most likely had never seen each other nude. At a 
certain point the coming-out party girl must have decided that her friend 
and her brother had watched long enough and should get started. She took her 
friend's hand and placed it around her brother's penis and had her fondle, 
caress and kiss it, and run her tongue around it. With some obvious 
hesitation, the friend put the boy's (the brother of the other girl) penis 
in her mouth and then quite obviously realized it felt nice, that it 
belonged there.  She moved her mouth back and forth over it. After not many 
such movements, she stopped and she followed instructions to lie down on the 
floor and to put a cushion under her rear. Her vagina was now elevated and 
easy for the penis to approach, and for us to view once her labia were 
spread apart. The brother would now copy what my and the Finnish Exchange 
Student's partners had done: kiss and lick and caress with his tongue her 
vagina and clitoris and bring her to the cusp of climax. The girl's vagina 
seemed to get bigger and bigger, to yawn, and saliva and mucus dripped out 
of it. The boy was clumsy, yes, inexperienced, but desperately eager to 
please. He would look upwards at his girl's face from time to time for 
approval. From all appearances she was struggling to grasp hold of a climax 
she could feel coming but which remained distant. The boy's tongue went deep 
into her vagina, and rubbed up and down indiscriminately over her entire 
vaginal area, clitoris included. I at least felt a vicarious thrill, with 
even a tingling sensation in my own vagina, and not just from enjoyment I 
knew the girl was having: I was also delighted for the boy, who was getting 
a lesson in adulthood. His penis was stiff with anticipation. It took a very 
long time, seemingly a quarter of an hour, before the girl broke out, 
without prior warning, in shrieks. The boy didn't quite know how to react or 
what was expected of him, although he certainly knew that his pulsating 
penis would now get relief.

The sister now instructed her brother to move up along her friend's body and 
push his penis hard all the way into the girl's vagina. The girl's legs were 
spread way apart, her knees somewhat bent; her open vagina just begging for 
a penis. I had an urge myself to rush over, grasp the penis, and drag it up 
to her vagina, but of course I didn't. After a moment painful to watch, the 
boy got his bearings. Since neither he nor the girl seemed to know enough to 
point the penis in the correct direction, his sister took charge and, firmly 
grasping it, positioning it over her friend's vagina so that when her 
brother lowered his body it would go right in. On command he lowered his 
hips and when it penis passed through his girl's hymen there was a gasp -- 
of delight? of pain? -- from the girl and a sheepish grin on the boy's face. 
The vagina was still fully visible from above and below, and it was a thing 
of beauty to see how snugly and pleasurably it accommodated that penis. 
However dilated and wet the vagina was, the penis still seemed to fit 
snugly. The girl's hips hadn't fully grown, but her vagina was well able to 
accommodate and enjoy the penis, and it was so lovely to see it move in and 
out and to hear the two kids' noises and to smell the sex aroma and hear the 
a faint squooshing and to know the two of them were close to God and to 
ejaculation and joy. The boy's balls moved from side to side; his scrotum 
wasn't shrunken against his body like most of the other boys' that day. One 
couldn't avoid being captivated by the beautiful, hypnotic movement of penis 
and testicles. I'd seen it all before, and yet I had to think how delightful 
it was, how timeless, repeated generation after generation, each one 
learning how much pleasure a penis could bring to boy and to girl. My own 
pleasure of just a few minutes before came back to me, and I held tight to 
my lover. He began to caress me, my breasts, even my sticky vagina.

Because our formal defloration parties were planned at least six weeks in 
advance and birth control pills are always arranged by the girl's mom, 
perhaps with a doctor close to Mom's Friend or else with a planned 
parenthood clinic, I hadn't thought of whether this girl had taken 
precautions. But out of nowhere somebody brought a filled contraceptive foam 
applicator. In a quick series of motions the sister pushed her brother's 
penis out of the way, inserted the foam into her friend's vagina and 
re-positioned the penis to resume its movement in and out. Her brother had 
barely missed a stroke, and we got the bonus of again seeing the lovely 
moist head of his penis disappear into the vagina. I thought of how 
outrageous was the social taboo that prevented most big sisters and indeed 
most mothers from doing this sort of thing, from being present and 
supportive of their brothers' and their best friends' first sex, and indeed 
from touching their sex parts even by accident or to by way of innocent 
help.

The two kids had now gained confidence. Perhaps the insertion of 
contraceptive foam represented an adult seal of approval. Presently the 
boy's efforts became strained and some few strokes later there was a 
noiseless gasp that told us he was ejaculating. He didn't stop yet: he 
probably didn't yet have the measure of how long he could get pleasure from 
post-ejaculation movement. But I could see that his penis was softening and 
a moment later it had fallen out of the girl's vagina. He looked first at 
his girl's face and then down at what he'd done. We could all see the 
evidence of penetration and ejaculation: a trickle of semen dripping from 
his girl's vagina and a possible hint of blood in the mixture of mucus and 
semen left on the beach towel underneath her. The two of them sat together 
and cuddled; he fondled a breast with one hand and explored her wet vagina 
with his other while she put her hand around his sticky penis and, at one 
point, touched a finger to her tongue -- a gesture I'd seen before done by 
other pensive and happy, newly deflowered girls. Soon the two of them were 
being congratulated and hugged by everyone. Someone found a bottle of 
champagne. Yet, even as they sipped their champagne in celebration of each 
other's joy their eyes wandered: but so did the eyes of everyone in the 
room. These kids were now "in play" and their genitals were subject to 
critical admiration by everyone. It can be unnerving to have someone you are 
talking to stare at your breasts or your vagina or penis -- but that's how 
it was and is.

I had what I thought was the brilliant idea of inviting them and the other 
youngsters there to a combined volleyball game-barbecue-oral sex party on a 
Sunday about two weeks later. I knew from experience that these were great 
events for kids new to sex because in addition to making them comfortable 
with oral sex and seeing how others enjoy -- and sense the divinity of -- 
semen, it resolves the tendency of newly-deflowered girls to confuse romance 
and love. Typically newcomers, boy or girl, are again on show for us to 
admire; but the main point is to stress to them that wonderful sex can be a 
constant thing for the rest of their lives and that the joy they had at 
their defloration was not unique. Indeed, their second (and third, etc.) 
time may be better because there should be no apprehension and no surprise. 
For us, until the day of commitment and marriage, sex is justified for its 
own sake, for the pleasure of orgasm and for the sanctity of semen in 
accordance with Biblical commands as we understand them, and in accordance 
with human nature and natural law. Commitment is for later, and it should be 
based on knowledge, experience, familiarity, compatibility and love. In the 
meanwhile, passion, romance and sexual joy are to be enjoyed and shared, and 
seen to be enjoyed, with friends and family about.

By now just about everyone had gone home and the mother of the brother and 
sister came clattering down the stairs rather angrily demanded why they 
weren't ready to leave on time as promised. Seeing her son and his partner 
in embrace, and her daughter standing by with traces of drying or dried 
semen all over, she stopped short, smiled in a way that suggested she was 
recalling the tenets of her faith, and urged them to dress quickly and wait 
until they got home to shower. As I watched the boy, I noticed that any 
embarrassment at being naked with an erection in front of his mom melted 
away once she had begun to smile. Still, he'd lost his erection and rushed 
to get their clothes, helping his girl on with her panties and bra.

On the day of the oral sex party all the twelve invited kids arrived early. 
The backyard of Mom's Friend's House was generally a nudity zone anyway, and 
all the kids were comfortable getting undressed right away. They played 
volleyball for about an hour, by which time Mom's Friend and my Mom had 
cooked up a barbecue. It was somewhat incongruous to see them wearing aprons 
and sandals but otherwise nude. Mom had a boyfriend there, and he was 
pottering about, trying to be useful but occasionally gazing at the bouncing 
breasts and penises of the kids playing volleyball.

After lunch the kids had to sort out partners: the most recently deflowered 
girl had first choice of partner, who under the rules had to be somebody 
new. The whole point of the event was to stress the irrelevance to "love" 
and permanence to adolescent sexual fun and, specifically, to banish 
jealousy and possessiveness. A boy with a lovely new partner will not be, 
should not be anyway, even slightly bothered to see a stranger's penis in 
the mouth of the girl who had cuddled and made love to his penis a day 
before. By the same token, girls had to know they had no ownership rights in 
and no particular claim to the boy who'd deflowered them. Thus with no 
offense possible to her friend, the newly deflowered girl chose the boy that 
her friend had been with at the dance party. Her first act was to stand 
behind him, her breasts against his back, and to caress his body from neck 
down to penis and his scrotum. She took his penis into her hand and ran it 
up and down the penis until it was very stiff. This was a good sign, since 
it showed the positive psychological impact of her defloration and her 
commitment to "free love" and her comfort with taking the initiative and 
touching and pleasuring a penis. Her fingers dwelt a long time on the tip of 
her boy's penis while she looked around his shoulder at what was happening 
and I got the feeling she was trying to discern how all the nerves and 
feelings were there in the head of the penis, in the glans.

I teamed up with Terrific Girl the boy who'd performed the new girl's 
defloration. He'd also been a virgin, and I knew that Terrific Girl would 
impress and delight him. Terrific Girl is every boy's ideal date and she 
often boasts (paraphrasing, of course, Will Rogers) that she has never seen 
a penis she didn't like. She has an Ado-Annie sort of (collagen-less) puffy 
lips that make you think (correctly) that there is nothing she likes better 
than to take a penis into her mouth and make it ejaculate on command. In 
fact, though, she is terribly selective in boys and very demanding of her 
own rights. She is sure to disappoint the boy who wants personal commitment 
from her for longer than a day; yet she leaves them with hope that she might 
change her mind so that they come back -- and are accepted or not according 
to her whim -- time after time. She is the best imaginable advertisement, 
though, for oral sex. Among other things she makes sure, if anybody is 
watching, that at least some of the head of the penis is visible at every 
stroke and that at least a hint of semen, perhaps just a tiny trickle, makes 
its way out of her mouth as she continues her strokes and draws out 
everything the boy can offer. As lips move along the penis, they are still 
smiling, and there is an innocent sparkle of enjoyment and passion in her 
wide-open eyes. I suppose what I want to say is that whether we are talking 
about penis in mouth or penis in vagina, Terrific Girl shows us what we want 
to see, and lets us know that what is pleasing the boy so much is also 
exactly what she wants to be doing more than anything in the world, and that 
she is progressing steadily towards her own climax -- which we all want 
desperately to see, even more than we want to see her boy's semen.

The protocol for our oral sex parties was standardized a long time ago, 
perhaps before I was born and certainly before we moved to Mom's Friend's 
House about 1993. At an appropriate time, maybe a half hour after the 
partners had settled in each other's company and been kissing and caressing 
for a few minutes, Terrific Girl showed the way. Mom's Friend had left out a 
stack of a half-dozen beach towels. Terrific Girl spread one out, sat down 
on it with her boy, crouched over his penis and began to excite it and make 
it stiff. She gave him time to play with her breasts and to explore her body 
and then she took the initiative. She licked the underside of the head of 
his penis, ran her tongue around its crown, put her mouth over it and 
rapidly made it fiercely erect and expectant. Watching from some distance 
away I could see her continue with her usual regimen: search for any pre-cum 
by running her tongue along its slit, then begin a slow, cadenced fellatio 
with her eyes wide open and moving in sequence from the boy's face to his 
penis to the onlookers. Crouched the way she was, we could see her vagina 
from behind, and it was really exciting to anticipate the rest of the show. 
It couldn't have taken more than five or six minutes for the brother to 
ejaculate because Terrific Girl had mastered the art of matching her speed 
of head movement to her partner's needs and wants. Terrific Girl is about 
the sexiest girl to see manipulating and kissing a penis; and as I have 
mentioned before, she is proud to show off, even to her father, Mom's 
Friend's lover. Her dad normally can watch, at least out of the corner of an 
eye, with studied equanimity. But at least once I've seen him, naked in the 
backyard, his penis erect at the sight of a boy's penis injecting semen into 
his daughter's mouth, rush over to Mom's Friend to embrace and make love in 
an elegant if middle-aged ballet of soixante-neuf that pleased us all to 
see. (It's refreshing and reassuring to see that imperfect older bodies can 
give and receive as much pleasure as younger ones. For those in loco 
parentis to share with us such passionate moments, doing the same things we 
do, giving and receiving ecstasy and semen -- and savoring the divinity of 
both -- is a wonderful confidence and a terrific teaching experience.)

The other five couples watched Terrific Girl and her partner but it did not 
take long before the boys were, themselves, getting uncomfortable erections 
and the girls had become aroused and ready to make love. Some of the girls 
were fondling their partner's penis, making both of them even more excited. 
Eventually all gravitated to their own place and their own beach towel. Each 
would bring her boy to orgasm and each would ostentatiously enjoy his 
ejaculation. An Internet search will suggest that many girls do not like to 
swallow semen, but example, peer pressure and experience made it a universal 
custom at Mom's Friend's House. What's more, any boy who objected to 
incidental consumption of his own semen, or any girl her own mucus, through 
post-coital kissing would be banished by ridicule. These girls were trying 
hard to put on a nice performance for anybody looking their way. And, I 
suppose, they were trying to develop a reputation for style and loveliness 
and assured mutual pleasure and to be in demand during those critical 
formative years, 13-18, that they could be sexually active at our place. 
Most would go on to college after that, and they would join the mainstream 
-- better, we hoped and knew, for the lessons and experiences they'd had. 
For those of us who'd grown up in the shadow of the CoD, liberal sex was a 
matter of obedience to God's various commands impelling us to frequent 
lovemaking, prohibiting the needless waste of semen and so on. I've written 
about our theology over the years, and readers can find some of my previous 
essays and stuff at
http://www.angelfire.com/co4/cobil/

At the oral sex party, the boy's sister would be taking an ejaculation into 
her mouth for the first time, so most everyone wanted to watch. When the boy 
did ejaculate it was no secret for some semen must have gone into her 
windpipe and she coughed. This allowed semen to escape from her mouth and 
spill onto the boy's penis and onto her hand. She sucked the semen back into 
her mouth and continued making love to the penis until it stopped exuding 
any liquid, three or four strokes later. The other boys and girls were 
similarly engaged until, one by one, each of the boys came and each girl 
tried to deal daintily and sensuously with his ejaculant. Since the couples 
were more or less taking turns, one after the other, the viewer could see 
that each girl had her own style. I have long railed against the futility of 
"deep throat" and was glad to see that the young kids realized early on that 
it's far better to concentrate on the most sensitive parts of the penis, 
stimulating above all its tip and underside, and concentrating on 
maintaining friction throughout the boy's ejaculation and so releasing as 
much semen as possible. It's nice for the onlooker to see a hint of the 
ejaculation happening, but most boys are just as happy to see their girl 
smile sweetly afterwards with semen in her mouth and on her lips, swallowing 
it slowly and with pleasure. One girl used a technique I've written about 
before: she spent several minutes running her lips over the head of her 
boys' penis, never going lower than the corona. Then she pressed her tongue 
hard against the tip of the penis and for nearly ten minutes circled it 
repeatedly until suddenly semen burst upwards in a great spurt and landed 
partly in her mouth, partly on her face. She again put her lips around the 
head of the penis and with a few strokes drew out all the rest of his semen 
and pushed what was on her face into her mouth with tongue and fingers 
before lying back on the towel, legs apart and knees bent, with a second 
towel under her rear so that her vagina was exposed to her boy and to us.

There's somewhat less room for artistry with boys and cunnilingus; I would 
say that about half of boys have some degree of flair and the others are a 
bit clumsy. But if the girl isn't afraid to speak up and direct his tongue 
and lip movements she should be able to get extreme pleasure either way. The 
main point in both cases is that the two partners should have their eyes 
open, and indeed should be making eye contact every so often right up until 
the moment of orgasm. As a girl who knows about these things, I have found 
that occasional oral sex parties in broad daylight are effective in raising 
the quality of sex for those who participate and those who watch. Nude 
dances are fine, but in subdued light a lot of what happens goes unnoticed 
and hence unimproved.

To return to what happened at the party: once a boy had ejaculated in the 
girl's mouth that boy and girl would change places as I just described, and 
the boy would bring his face down to his girl's vagina and kiss, lick and 
suck her to climax. With most of the couples there was less to be seen by 
onlookers at this point. I for one tended to watch the girl's face to see 
her reaction, occasionally looking over to see the position and movement of 
the boy's tongue and lips, whether he had his eyes properly open and 
focused, whether he seemed to enjoy what he was doing, and so on. And, 
especially, for those boys who were on their knees and not lying in the 
prone position, how his penis was reacting. Young boys virtually always 
have, or get, a strong erection at this point; but with the girl's vagina 
wet and dilated, even a half-erect penis can enter it and after a few 
strokes it will be stiff and he can complete the girl's pleasure and, 
himself, enjoy a second ejaculation. I was glad to see that the newly 
deflowered girl was really having fun, and that she actively helped the boy 
to position and insert his penis. It seemed to me that she shared something 
of a second orgasm with him, but since girls don't ejaculate, if they don't 
make appropriate noises and their nipples aren't stiff and their breasts 
don't heave, you can't really tell. For all I know she could have been 
dwelling on the taste of the semen still in her mouth and the fulfillment of 
penis completing the climax from cunnilingus. Still, it was nice. When the 
boy finished, she just lay there, her legs still akimbo, dreaming perhaps of 
romance, until the boy moved alongside her and began to kiss her on the 
lips: a wonderful end to oral and vaginal intercourse and a reaffirmation of 
the wonder of mingled holy bodily fluids.

I have to say that this is something I have experienced many times. When I 
have felt particular passion for a particular boy, I have loved nothing 
better than to kiss him deeply after our respective or mutual oral sex, 
commingling our bodily fluids -- semen, mucus, sometimes blood. Somehow our 
relationship, at least for that day, becomes special, wonderful, deliriously 
sanctified. For the girls of our ethic, the blessed reception of semen in 
both mouth and vagina is a sensual and emotional and religious passion -- a 
delight that we love to share with friends and family whenever possible. 
Although many mothers try to be somewhat discreet -- though far from evasive 
-- when they are having sex, many others, including both Mom and Mom's 
Friend, delighted in making love in parallel with their sons and daughters. 
It is, as I've written, the old saw about a tree falling in the forest with 
nobody to hear it making no noise: orgasm and exchange of bodily fluids are 
validated by their vicarious appreciation by others. And it is only natural 
for a mom and dad or a brother or sister -- free of phony social dictates 
and false religious dogma -- to delight and to be proud at the sight of an 
offspring's or a sibling's realization of sexual maturation and sexual 
capacity. Not to mention loving the sight of their own DNA, traceable back 
to Jesus and to Adam, in the form of streams and droplets of semen.

Social conditioning aside, penis and vagina are, physically and 
operationally and philosophically, the loveliest elements of the human body 
-- which is the very reason why false religions try to control their sight 
and their enjoyment. As Moses David taught, the modern era brought a new 
safety to sex. It is a parent's duty to notice the first bodily changes of a 
pubescent offspring and to judge his or her capacity and guide him or her to 
sexual experience just as soon as that capacity is extant. Masturbation is 
not wrong per se, but it is wasteful and if a boy or a girl can masturbate, 
he or she is capable of oral sex. Virginity is a burden, a hurdle, a shackle 
to be discarded (and to ease the transition, defloration before family and 
friends is encouraged). Early sex certainly does not eliminate all 
ineptitude, social incompetence and sexual problems, but it does reduce the 
chances of later dysfunction. Once one realizes that physical beauty and 
penis and breast size are minor issues in relation to sexual fun, once a kid 
has confidence gained from having oral and vaginal sex as part of a couple 
sharing the experience in a larger group, the likelihoods of lifelong sexual 
satisfaction and sensible choice of life partner are greatly enhanced. Or so 
we have found: as I have repeatedly pointed out, in oral sex with boy on top 
even a penis just starting its way through puberty can give and receive real 
pleasure. With girls going through puberty earlier than boys, this means 
that a couple of the same age should have no hesitation in oral sex, or in 
mutual oral sex. On the matter of the future psychological and social health 
of "underage" sex by pubescent couples, throughout my earlier essays I 
introduced links to peer-reviewed and popular scientific sources: it is not 
just out of faith but out of experience and scientific logic that I have 
argued my case.

All the while, however, knowing that just as terrorism has threatened 
personal privacy and human rights (because society and government, when 
threatened, gives primacy to the survival of themselves as institutions), 
the notoriety of sexual abuse of children has brought about a reaction that 
while only tangentially affecting the abuse itself threatens natural 
freedoms and, by frightening parents from helping their children to develop 
puts kids at even greater risk of abuse. The key, in our ethic, has been 
that no person may coerce another, that no person may have sexual contact 
with anyone under 18 unless that other person has crossed the threshold into 
puberty and both consents and is within, say, 10% of his or her age, never 
more than 15%.

It's a pity that fears of legal troubles caused Mom's Friend to prohibit 
graven images of minors engaging in sex. I wonder, in fact, if such a rule 
could survive in the presence of today's versatile cell phones; but anyway 
we generally tried obey Mom's Friend because firstly we depended on her 
gracious charity: with the big house paid for by her family's trust fund 
(put in place when she was a teenager to prevent her from giving her assets 
to the Children of God as members were otherwise made to do) she never asked 
from residents and the mothers of visiting kids more than they could pay or 
cared to offer. Secondly, all of us knew that social engineers and religious 
hypocrites objected to our lifestyle and would try to shut us down if they 
knew. Perhaps surprisingly -- since children and ex-wives of more than one 
member of Officialdom were numbered among our active members -- no 
representative of civil authority ever investigated us or threatened us. 
Mom's Friend always seemed to have a doctor as a member of our circle, and I 
thought it refreshing that doctors, who see naked people every day, could 
have a sexier side and also that there are doctors who approve and support 
our theology and who brought their children along: as toddlers and small 
children to see and learn, and as adolescents to join in. Maybe things would 
be different today: the communes and free-sex sects and vacation spots I've 
researched and have described in prior essays do things differently, and 
some have moved abroad, especially to Mexico. (Mom's Friend has a lot of 
rules that we either had to live by, or leave. I've come to believe they 
were mostly good, though: no drugs, no smoking, no viciousness, not too much 
of a mess, no junk food (as she defined it) on her premises ...)

This essay was written some time ago, and I updated it recently when I 
discovered it (and several others) which had never been published for 
reasons unclear to me, since I'm sure I sent them in. I do not know, of 
course, what proportion of readers is motivated to read it by an interest in 
its political and social arguments. I trust that nobody will be offended by 
frank description of some of the most beautiful of life events. Those who 
would argue that encouraging young adults to have sex is ipso facto abusive 
should take note that none of the persons involved in these events that 
happened years ago has had any but the most positive memories. While a 
totally inept boy or girl is not likely to achieve social grace through 
sexual freedom, I do feel that having a positive early experience helped to 
banish dysfunction and social isolation in at least some instances. Fathers 
especially persist in believing that early heterosexual sex can prevent 
homosexuality. I don't think so. Just as not every child who takes piano 
lessons is capable of ever playing anything worth listening to, early sex 
doesn't guarantee full functionality or maximum social grace. It does, 
however, improve almost any kid's chances for self-assurance, sexual 
happiness and lifetime joy, and it is virtually always fun in itself. The 
best of the girls and boys among us would not allow a naive newcomer to 
fail; I certainly would spend as long as it took to bring a boy to orgasm, 
even if out of apprehension or dysfunction he never got a full erection. We 
had divorced parents who couldn't agree on anything else but who brought 
their kids over (whichever of them had custody or visiting rights on the 
day) to play and then, at puberty, to have sex. In those cases, it seems to 
me, the kids' realization that sexual fulfillment can be independent of 
love, and that their (disagreeable) parents can agree on their physical 
happiness was an important contributor to stability.

I have deliberately excluded from my essays descriptions of those few who 
tried and failed to stay with us. We tried to be supportive, but some human 
beings will always be incapable. I have not discussed the misfits (and among 
misfits I don't include the slow-to-mature because once they did mature, 
they were the same as everybody else, so they were only temporary misfits).

Once society had an alternative for the feebleminded or the mentally 
disturbed: they could work on the farm. Today there is no room in society or 
the economy for those who lack basic skills or who are disturbed. They fill 
our prisons instead. The disabled have rights, but in matters of sex we in 
America refuse to acknowledge them. I've mentioned in pasts stories how in 
Holland they are provided from time to time with professional sex partners 
and that the French newspaper Le Monde wrote about mothers of handicapped 
boys who masturbate them to relieve their frustration. It's mentioned in one 
of my essays:
http://tinyurl.com/a7h9n

As for the overwhelming majority of pubescent and adolescent boys and girls 
I can confidently say that with proper, early sex education and no exposure 
to the sad impediments of false modesty, embarrassment and fear of 
inadequacy, regularly joining together with friends for sex from the age of, 
say 12 or 13 on is the greatest possible contribution to a happy and 
satisfying future life. A corollary is pride in one's natural sexual 
function, and an eagerness to show it off to others, especially to parents 
and to offspring. Those who have read the earlier essays in this series will 
remember how 11-, 12- and 13-year-olds were so happy and felt so free after 
their first sexual encounters to show off their sticky penises and dripping 
vaginas to their moms. Parents should take on the responsibility of assuring 
that their kids are well adjusted and that their kids' sex is safe sex. 
Families should find time to be nude together and to admire each other's 
bodies; they should feel free to look at and talk about each other's sex 
parts and they should be free to see each other at sex, much as I have been. 
This thread runs throughout my essays: for example my description of Rev. 
Mary's daughter
( http://tinyurl.com/anxr6 ):

"I spent the afternoon and evening at home with Rev. Mary. There were 
several callers, and then in the evening we watched TV with her daughter. We 
expected some friends over for a light supper: two divorced fathers, one of 
whom brought over his "weekend son", who was a friend of Rev. Mary's 
daughter, one of many boyfriends I am sure. We were watching a film and I 
didn't notice until they were half undressed that the two teens were having 
sex fun together. She was on his lap, topless, and he was sitting in his 
underpants. His hands were first over her breasts and then tickling her 
vagina; then the couple were kissing, then her hands were under his 
waistband stroking his penis and making it erect. None of the adults paid 
much heed at first, and in a way it reminded me of Mom's Friend's house, 
except that few girls except me violated the protocol by having sex, i.e., 
oral sex, in the TV room instead of going downstairs or outdoors with their 
partner when they felt the urge. Anyway, their lovemaking confirmed the 
point I have been making: the default practice was for the boy to offer the 
girl oral sex, and by now Rev. Mary's daughter was completely nude on one of 
the sofas, and her boy was kneeling in front of her with his mouth over her 
vagina and she was first giggling and bouncing about, her breasts jiggling 
in unison in a funny but lovely sort of dance, and then she was calmer as if 
realizing a need for concentration to achieve climax. A moment after that 
she was faraway-ecstatic, as orgasm approached from the distance; then as 
joy consumed her one saw her breasts heave and her eyes roll as that joy 
consumed her body and made her very, very happy.

"The boy dropped his underpants to the floor and stripped off his T-shirt. 
Now he was leaning over her, his hands on the back of the sofa, his penis 
sticking out, his balls hanging below, his demeanor anxious and begging. The 
tip of his penis glistened. He panted. Rev. Mary's daughter teased her boy 
only for brief seconds. I thought her more vibrant than ever in her joy and 
just as at the Friday initiations one longed to see the hovering penis enter 
the open vagina, here again kissing and licking had made the girl's vagina 
so very ready and eager that it rather hurt me to see the boy's penis still 
outside. Anyway, in a lot less time than it has taken me to describe the 
event, the girl grasped her boy's penis in two hands and brought it to her 
vaginal opening and she, her mother, the boy's father, the other man and I 
watched it enter and then we watched her face. In her demeanor we could see, 
insofar as anyone can, the meaning of life. She was performing the greatest 
act that two people can perform, creating joy out of energy and friction. We 
saw too the face of love and as his penis entered and exited she moved, and 
her breasts moved, and we smiled."

Or those 11-year-old kids who, having watched the 16-Year-Old Boy and I 
having fun years before, started making love just as soon as their bodies 
and minds were ready, and then put on a surprise performance for us
( http://tinyurl.com/c68mz ):

"The kids occasionally watched us having sex after that but I do not 
remember them asking more questions about it. But very recently, when I was 
back in Our Town for a long weekend, I was sunning myself in the garden 
along with Mom, both of us nude, when the girl and the boy, now almost 12, 
came dancing out holding each other's hand. They told me they had something 
they wanted to show me. The boy and girl were both in mid puberty. I could 
see her cute little breasts and her wisps of pubic hair; I could see his 
penis in mid-growth and that he too had just a bit of hair there. They held 
hands and smiled, and then he was on the ground on his back and she was 
reversed above him, her mouth at his penis, just as I had shown them so many 
years ago. Her legs were spread wide apart, knees on the ground at either 
side of his head.  All of her vaginal area was exposed, a lovely 
11-1/2-year-old pubescent, angelic vagina, and the boy had his tongue 
already in it moving in and out and around and his lips were sucking on her 
labia, her clitoris, her vulva.  She was sucking on his penis and it was 
growing hard; she started moving her head up and down its not-yet 
fully-grown length. She meanwhile groaned with obvious pleasure.

"After several minutes had passed she cried out "now" and did a gymnastic 
flip, landing on her back alongside the boy, her legs wide apart with knees 
bent, her vagina open, waiting expectantly. The boy quickly turned over and 
around and mounted her, his penis sticking out downwards very stiff, wet 
from her saliva. She guided his penis into her vagina, and he proceeded to 
pump her as she acknowledged his thrusts with more sighs. After a couple of 
minutes of slow thrusts he speeded up his pace, grunted, gasped and rolled 
over next to her, sitting up. He caught his breath, rose and pulled her to 
her feet with one hand. The two of them skipped over to Mom and me. I was so 
happy for them. I hugged them closely. The boy's penis was glistening wet 
all over. Not five inches long, it remained erect, quivering. I wanted to 
close my hand around it and squeeze it tenderly, to stroke its glowing tip, 
to cup his cute testicles. A drop of liquid flowed out of the little 
opening.  I would touch it, it would stick to my finger, and I would put it 
on my tongue and smile. I kissed the boy and the girl on their cheeks and 
told them I loved them both, that they were beautiful. It was one of the 
most fabulous moments of my life."

In both of these cases, and in many others I've described, a loving 
offspring has shown a parent or guardian how competent she or he has become 
to give and receive sexual pleasure and then brought over the sticky penis 
and vagina for approval. This is the most fantastic parent-child 
relationship imaginable, one that I would wish for every child and every 
parent. The beauty of it all gives the lie to the whole concept in penal law 
of "indecency" or "gross indecency". Or, for that matter, of "pornography" 
where the exchange of semen and joy are out of romance, passion and/or love, 
and not for money. It is, in fact, the money that is obscene.

Given that her argument leads always to eventually falling in love and being 
faithfully married and monogamous I asked Mom's Friend once how many 
partners, how many sexual experiences she thought would be optimum. She 
would only say "at least 100". A girl should come to grips with at least a 
hundred penises, and she would then know the criteria for a happy marriage. 
Some girls have known many more than that. One hopes that the man she 
marries will be the best she ever comes to know: but more of sexual prowess 
is personality and learned technique than physique and in this sense, boys 
who grew up in Mom's Friend's shadow conditioned to respect and to satisfy 
girls to the fullest, may be the best partners -- even granted that sex is 
only one element among many of a successful union. But those added elements 
really don't come into play until a girl or boy is over 18, and sex fun and 
the learning to be had from it are themselves alone sufficient justification 
for a parent to be involved in her or his child's sexual development and to 
encourage her or him to be comfortable with the opposite sex and eager to 
start having sex openly and notoriously within the family and among friends 
just as soon as she or he has the capacity. A child who has from birth been 
able to see, if only from a distance, oral sex and semen enjoyed by parents 
and adolescents will be a confident, romantic partner when she (or he) 
arrives at puberty. I know this is true by my experience, my observation, my 
research, the recorded anthropology of primitive cultures, and from the 
supportive comments of readers.


Love,
Carol

-- 
Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights
reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated.
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