Message-ID: <50423asstr$1107900604@assm.asstr-mirror.org> Return-Path: <dcrimsonp@blackhole.riot.eu.org> X-Original-To: ckought69@hotmail.com Delivered-To: ckought69@hotmail.com X-Original-Message-ID: <20050208173142.21861.qmail@riot.eu.org> From: Crimson Dragon <dcrimsonp@blackhole.riot.eu.org> X-ASSTR-Original-Date: 8 Feb 2005 17:31:42 -0000 Subject: {ASSM} {REVIEW} Crimson Reviews - #044 - 08-Feb-2005 Lines: 306 Date: Tue, 8 Feb 2005 17:10:04 -0500 Path: assm.asstr-mirror.org!not-for-mail X-Is-Review: yes Approved: <assm@asstr-mirror.org> Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories,alt.sex.stories.d Followup-To: alt.sex.stories.d X-Archived-At: <URL:http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2005/50423> X-Moderator-Contact: ASSTR ASSM moderation <story-ckought69@hotmail.com> X-Story-Submission: <ckought69@hotmail.com> X-Moderator-ID: hoisingr, dennyw, newsman -----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE----- I want to thank Franz Kafka for contributing to the Reviews this week. The story would have slipped under my radar due to its story codes and subject matter, but I'm still happy to see the different opinion present here. If anyone else is interested in submitting guest reviews to the Crimson Reviews, please feel free to contact me. Thanks again to Denny for his contributions in making the reviews presentable and readable. "Johnny take a dive with your sister in the rain Let her talk about the things you can't explain ..." - U2 +----------------------------------------------------------------------- The missives below are merely opinions, publicly stated, but only opinions. Dragons may be immortal, but they are not infallible. Read the stories for yourself, and form your own opinions. Then, let the author know what you thought. Celeste's blowjob principle isn't smoke in the wind. - Crimson Dragon (dcrimson@yahoo.com) http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Crimson_Dragon/www http://members.tripod.com/files/Authors/Dr/wwwagon_Of_Crimson Review Archives: http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Crimson_Reviews/www Thanks to Denny for checking over the reviews for obvious bungles, though ultimately any errors herein are mine and mine alone. +----------------------------------------------------------------------- Story Summary: +----------------------------------------------------------------------- Julie -- cmsix (MF, caution) [10, 10, 10, 10] The Seduction -- Stasya T. Canine (MF nosex) [10, 8, 10, 10] Party Slave -- Bradley Stoke (FF FM Caution) [10, 8, 10, 6] Visiting with my cousin Namie -- Emi Tsuruta (F+M+, exhib, voy, no sex) [9, 10, 10, 10] Okie' Girl (Chapters 1, 2 & 3) -- BBMartin (ff, FF, MMF, inc, anal, mast) [7, 8, 6, 7] Reviews: +----------------------------------------------------------------------- Julie -- cmsix (MF, caution) We've all had relationships that we regret. We've all been young and foolish. Cmsix writes a powerful tale, here, about Julie -- a girl who faces her own challenges in life, and his narrator's torrid relationship with her. The (caution) story code, I think, refers to scenes where "No" doesn't always mean "No". And to be honest, the scenes disturbed me a little, but it fit reasonably into the story's context and wasn't gratuitous, as far as I could tell. Cmsix uses an unusual voice in this story -- the narrator's tale almost spoken in an informal jargon. In this case, it works really well, I think, where it gets the almost small-town, honest feel across. Through most of the tale, I was planning on scoring the Crimson aspect at about an 8. By the end, I realised that cmsix has written something deeper here than the average sex story, that he'd created wonderful characters, and told me something important. And sometimes that's all it takes to move an 8 to a 10. Technical : 10 Eros : 10 Character/Plot : 10 Crimson : 10 Story: http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2005/50303 Author's site: None known. Posted To ASSM: Wed, 26 Jan 2005 +----------------------------------------------------------------------- The Seduction -- Stasya T. Canine (MF nosex) When we have dark desires, does that mean we are inherently evil? That we need to reconcile our thoughts to our deeds? Do we need therapy? Diagnosis? Help? Or do some of us merely write about our daemons and control or exorcise them through the ink upon a blank page? Stasya has written a rather interesting character study here that peers into the very heart of the writer in all of us. Go read it. Even if it's marked as nosex. Technical : 10 Eros : 8 Character/Plot : 10 Crimson : 10 Story: http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2005/50240 Author's site: http://storiesonline.net/Stasya_T_Canine Posted To ASSM: Mon, 17 Jan 2005 +----------------------------------------------------------------------- Party Slave -- Bradley Stoke (FF FM Caution) The solar system is a different place in the future. Machines do the lion's share of the work. Unemployment is rampant. Society has its rich and its poor. Hmmm. Maybe the solar system isn't so very different. Zee, a black girl recently out of school, travels to Theseus, located on the outer edge of the solar system. There she visits Anastasia, an old flame from college. Out on the distant edges of colonisation, Zee is unusual not only for her skin colour, but for her dress and her more conservative sexual upbringing. You see, Zee isn't used to open orgies, incest and totally casual sexual experience despite her college escapades with Anastasia. But she can get used to the idea. But when Zee discovers Themira, Anastasia's sex slave, the sexual "liberation" begins to seem excessive and Zee has second thoughts. I found this story a little heavy. All right, I'll be honest. I found this story exceptionally heavy. The "caution" code is certainly appropriate here. Bradley touches on a huge number of social and sexual issues in this tale, and while it undoubtedly has merit and deep metaphors to society, I personally think that the story might benefit from focusing on one or two issues instead of brushing a whole gamut. But such is Bradley's style, and I, of all Dragons, should know that. There is certainly sexual content here. I have to admit to being uncomfortable with some of the genres that aren't really mentioned in the story codes, including incest, anal, MM, toilet sports, heavy BDSM and sexual slavery. The sex isn't really the focus of the story, but for some readers the sexual content might be a wee bit extreme if unwarned. Then again, some will *really* like the multitudes of experiences portrayed. Too much for me, but I'm a relatively conservative Dragon. I'm also unsure if I liked the ending. I know what Bradley was trying to show, but I found it oddly unsatisfying, if also scarily realistic. I think that's what Bradley was going for, and so, I believe he's succeeded in his endeavour. It did make me think. As with all Bradley Stoke stories, this is certainly worth reading -- just be prepared for a heavy tale. Technical : 10 Eros : 8 Character/Plot : 10 Crimson : 6 Story: http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2005/50311 Author's site: http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Bradley_Stoke/www Posted To ASSM: Thu, 27 Jan 2005 +----------------------------------------------------------------------- Visiting with my cousin Namie -- Emi Tsuruta (F+M+, exhib, voy, no sex) Emi takes a trip to Japan to visit with her cousin, Namie, who was recently married. Namie and her mother, Aunt Sachi, have some second-hand clothes for Emi to try on and alter. While trying on the clothes, our little exhibitionist basks in her opportunity to strip down in a relatively dangerous place -- inadvertently giving unexpected guests a bit of a show, too. In the process, Emi is able to help her cousin adjust to married life. I want to start out by saying that I truly liked the story here. It has a rather unique voice to it. Emi comes across as open and honest - -- almost as if she is on a voyage of self discovery and exploration and we, her readers, are along for the ride. The story is believable and we can see Emi's life here, from her struggle to understand her own sexuality to the conflicts in the differences between Japanese and North American culture. Emi's is a refreshing voice -- something a little different than the more typical lavish sexual prose that inundates the groups. This story is fun. And even while I'm usually not wild about exhibitionism/voyeurism stories, Emi seems to treat the subject with an air of honesty and discovery that I absolutely do like. Technical : 9 Eros : 10 Character/Plot : 10 Crimson : 10 Story: http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2005/50349 Author's site: http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/emitsuruta/www Posted To ASSM: Mon, 31 Jan 2005 +----------------------------------------------------------------------- Okie' Girl (Chapters 1, 2 & 3) -- BBMartin (ff, FF, MMF, inc, anal, mast) Guest Review by Franz Kafka This is a stroke story. The female protagonist, Shawni, is going to visit her sister, Sherri. Before she gets there, she recalls her life. Shawni and Sherri fucked each other for the first time when they were teenagers. Shawni also fucked two men, Jared and Dave. Jared tells Shawni that her fiance (spelling issue here: the writer wrote fiancee) is cheating on her with Tina. It doesn't take long before Shawni is dominating Tina. The characters are described from the typical male POV. What happens in the text is pretty unreal, I guess. This story almost totally lacks a plot, the chapters are more or less a collection of sex encounters with Shawni in each scene. The writer has some good ideas, but the need for an editor cannot be doubted. The following passage represents the writing style: (citation from chapter 1) [ She whispered "Thank you baby. Did you enjoy it?" I answered, "Yes. Very much." I asked, "Sherri, are we lesbians?" she chuckled softly and said, "I don't think so Shawni. I'm too addicted to big, thick cocks to give them up. What about you?" How did she know I was thinking about my boyfriend's cock right then and what I was going to do to it tonight? I said, "I don't know if I'm addicted yet but I'm liking it more all the time. How did you know that was what I was thinking?" she grinned and whispered, "Baby, most of the time it's all I can think about." ] The story would be more readable, if the writer had added some more paragraphs. In the example above, Sherri and Shawni's dialogue is mixed with Shawni's thoughts without any line breaks. The reader has to pay very close attention to determine the appropriate speaker. Concerning the spelling I remarked only some minor issues: I definetely {definitely} had future plans for Dave. She just w{h}impered and nodded a little... ...and layed {laid} my body down on hers. So what? Technical : 7 Eros : 8 Character/Plot : 6 FranzKafka : 7 Story: http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2005/50267 (Chapter 1 (ff inc)) http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2005/50310 (Chapter 2 (MMF, oral, anal)) http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2005/50341 (Chapter 3 (FF, mast)) Author's site: None known. Posted To ASSM: Sun, 23 Jan 2005 +----------------------------------------------------------------------- -----BEGIN PGP SIGNATURE----- Version: 2.6.3ia Charset: noconv iQEVAwUBQgj15kxM3srBk85hAQEPigf8Ch1uK/EVUDL8q1Ab1owCcrtADTYAwkeq 2ovwqf5D8V6yWk44GoRo1P4/nmhAhncShHMH+oz8Yy77vtsQHT/ZwSQh+JmSN1IF f46rCMNcBJE+oZdTTn61qQWPFxXQr6iWybsJeFMCqpRu48GS7OI59vxF0WcuvoJI 1EOBphbKAFD80LFjrhWLPFPtVwmCVEDxLkS3d+jMmAPhrjFFCDpgcOsiuAo97aho DCyXZx1e46PQomvBOz6u51PSug2EM+RA42AQdcLwCzaCivxgKhxcy0Ce+EWsOD+M hYtUaWPjjlprzVPg/Zjx7ewBQ8ly1YfyWYzqJyqjUHoHfqJRq2lXKw== =VwXJ -----END PGP SIGNATURE----- -- Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated. +---------------------------------------------------------------------------+ | alt.sex.stories.moderated ------ send stories to: <ckought69@hotmail.com>| | FAQ: <http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/faq.html> Moderators: <story-ckought69@hotmail.com> | +---------------------------------------------------------------------------+ |ASSM Archive at <http://assm.asstr-mirror.org> Hosted by <http://www.asstr-mirror.org> | |Discuss this story and others in alt.sex.stories.d; look for subject {ASSD}| +---------------------------------------------------------------------------+