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From: Lazlo Zalezac <lzalezac@yahoo.com>
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Subject: {ASSM} JC:Oscar Meyers I-07 (mf mm)
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=====
Lazlo Zalezac
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Lazlo_Zalezac
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Lazlo_Zalezac


		
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<1st attachment, "desert-07.txt" begin>

Oscar Meyers 
Part 1: Foo Fighter
By 
Lazlo Zalezac
Copyright (C) Lazlo Zalezac, 2004

Chapter 7

The month dragged by so slow that Oscar thought he was going to 
go crazy. Two buildings had been erected in the middle of 
nowhere. One building contained the office and Oscar's sleeping 
quarters. The other building contained the communications gear. 
The troops were left sleeping in tents when they were fortunate 
enough be in camp. Oscar looked over the site, quite pleased with 
the progress. 

The men from the regular army he had been training were on their 
first real mission. They were to clear the road from the main base 
to the training camp. He wanted to make sure that the road was 
clear for the special passenger that would be on it. Georgia was 
coming today; he could hardly wait to see her and hold her in his 
arms.

The truck finally pulled up in front of the command center. He 
watched as six Special Forces troops exited the rear with a grace 
and confidence that they were better than anyone else around them 
was. He waited for Georgia, but she didn't come out of the truck. 
His concern grew that she hadn't come this time and that his efforts 
had been a waste.

When he left the command center, the passenger door of the truck 
opened and she stepped out. She looked around for a second before 
spotting him. Excited, she ran to him and threw herself into his 
arms. Hugging her tightly, he lifted her in the air. They finally 
broke apart and looked at each other. Oscar leaned over and 
whispered, "I have to act like a big shot now."

She giggled and replied, "They've been talking about you all the 
way here. They are ready to show you how a real soldier fights."

He nodded and turned to see the six men standing at ease watching 
him with wry expressions. There was no doubt that they were 
looking for a chance to show him what they could do. He pointed 
to three of the men as he said, "You three, come over here."

The three men grinned at each other and took their time getting 
over to him. The swagger of their walk proclaimed their disdain for 
the short man. The three finally arrived and posed as though they 
expected to get challenged. Georgia smiled as she tried to figure 
out what Oscar was going to do. She had seen that same look on 
his face when they were playing paint ball and he went up against 
four people.

Oscar smiled at them, posturing like he was going to give them 
some sort of speech, and then dove between their legs. He tucked 
into a ball and launched himself at the three that were standing in 
the back. They were taken completely by surprise, expecting him 
to make an example out of the front three. Two of them went down 
immediately from punches to the solar plexus and the third 
followed shortly after that from a foot in the chin. The first three 
turned around in time for Oscar to hit two of them in the solar 
plexus. The third stood there in shock as it was almost too much 
for him to fathom. He followed a half second later with a punch to 
his solar plexus. It was over. Five of them lay flat on their backs 
trying to catch their breaths. The sixth was out cold.

He returned to Georgia and said, "We'll have about ten minutes 
alone. Come into the office and we can talk."

Georgia raised an eyebrow as she looked at the six guys on the 
ground before asking, "What about them?"

"Hold on," he replied. He knelt down next to one of the gasping 
men and said, "When all six of you are on your feet, come into the 
office."

The pair of them went into the office to be alone for a few minutes. 
Georgia said, "That was pretty nasty."

"That's the whole point. They expect to play by the rules. My job is 
to teach them that the enemy doesn't respect rules. However, we 
don't tell them that. They have to figure it out for themselves. The 
day they understand that fact, they'll know how to fight the 
enemy."

Georgia laughed and replied, "So how are you going to stay alive 
until then?"

"Oh, they'll get over it eventually," replied Oscar. He added, "Until 
they get in here, come sit on my lap. We've got some time to catch 
up on."

She seated herself on his lap with a giggle and said, "I've been 
dreaming about this for a whole month."

He kissed her neck and held her close. He whispered in her ear, "I 
love you so much. This month seemed like forever."

She looked at him and said, "I love you too. I think my poor sister 
went crazy this past month."

He laughed and said, "She told me that she expected you to drive 
her crazy."

She kissed him and put her arm around his neck. The door to the 
office opened and a dirt covered Sergeant stepped into the room. 
Oscar looked up and asked, "So, how did it go?"

"Found two groups just about where you said we would. They're 
dead now."

Oscar nodded and said, "Good. Any casualties or wounded?"

The Sergeant wryly smiled, "Only on their side. I think Brett is 
finally realizing what you've been teaching us."

"Good."

The Sergeant asked, "What about those six out there?"

Oscar smiled and answered, "My girl and I get to play with them 
for the next month. They will get to hunt you guys next month. 
This month, you get to play terrorists for the next crew that's 
coming here to train."

The Sergeant laughed aloud as he said, "That's good. I'm looking 
forward to it."

"Get your men settled. They have the rest of the day off."

"Okay."

The Sergeant looked at Georgia and said, "I take it this is the 
amazing George we've heard so much about."

Georgia smiled and answered, "The amazing George?"

"Hey, if I said sexy George, they would have thought I was funny."

The Sergeant laughed and said, "We were all convinced of that 
anyway. Nobody gets that misty eyed over amazing."

Georgia kissed his cheek and said, "You really did miss me."

"Yeah."

The Sergeant took his leave to attend to his men. He had hardly left 
before the six Special Forces men entered the room. They weren't 
quite so cocky now. He looked over at them and asked, "You have 
something to say?"

They looked at each other and then shook their heads no. Oscar 
said, "Good. On the wall behind you are your new weapons. Set all 
of your weapons over in that corner for now. You'll get them back 
soon enough."

The men turned around and looked at the wall. There were racks of 
guns of various models. Some looked like standard issue while 
others looked like Soviet weapons. The men looked at them and 
then back at Oscar in confusion. One of them said, "They are the 
same as ours. Why should we put our guns over there?"

Oscar put a pistol in Georgia's hand and whispered in her ear, 
"Your turn. Shoot them all with the paint gun."

Georgia lifted the pistol and fired off six shots very quickly. Six 
splashes of paint appeared on their chests. None of them had a 
chance to get to their weapons before she was done. With a little 
prompting from Oscar, she said, "Now boys. You should learn 
very quickly not to question him. He always has a reason for what 
he says."

Oscar explained, "They all shoot paint balls. For now, I want you 
to get the equivalents for the weapons you already carry. Your 
training begins tomorrow."

The men immediately piled their weapons in the corner that he had 
told them to put their weapons. Oscar said, "Your knives also."

The men added their knives to the pile. They went to the wall and 
picked up their new weapons. They had the same feel as their real 
weapons except the stocks were plastic and camouflaged.  The 
men examined them and looked up at Oscar. One of them said, 
"Not bad. These shoot paint?"

Oscar answered, "Yes, they do. Tomorrow morning your training 
begins. For the next month, you are going to live out in the desert 
for three days at a time. This very beautiful lady and I will hunt 
you. When you are shot, you will return back here. Then we begin 
the next hunt. While you are here, each of you will think about 
what you did wrong and what you did right. You are not to talk 
amongst yourselves."

The men looked at each other. The spokesman asked, "We aren't 
supposed to talk to each other about what we did?"

"That's right. You have to learn some lessons for yourselves." 
Oscar looked at each man and then said, "The next month you will 
spend your time hunting terrorists. The month after that, you will 
get to be the terrorists."

"Then what?"

"Well, if you successfully complete all three phases you will 
graduate. Otherwise, you will repeat the course."

"How do we pass?"

"You win three engagements in a row in each phase. In the first 
phase, you have to shoot whoever is hunting you or survive all 
three days without getting shot. Tomorrow morning at sunrise the 
hunt begins. You need to survive for three days while I hunt you."

All of them were convinced that they could last three days in a 
desert hunt and didn't understand the whole purpose of the 
exercise. Oscar filled them in on the details about their sleeping 
arrangements. They were each to have an individual tent. He 
suggested that they visit the supply tent and told them that they 
could sign out anything they needed. Before they left, he told them 
that if they needed help with something to come by his office.

The men left the office more confused than when they had entered. 
Oscar watched them leave and laughed once the door closed 
behind them. Georgia asked, "What's so funny?"

Oscar replied, "They think it is going to be easy. Are they ever 
going to be surprised when they don't last twenty minutes 
tomorrow."

Oscar and Georgia went into his living quarters. He had a nice late 
lunch prepared for her. They ate and discussed her training 
responsibilities. Throughout the discussion, the room vibrated from 
the sexually charged atmosphere. Neither one was willing to take 
the first move. Oscar didn't want her to think that he was only 
interested in her sexually while she didn't want him to think she 
wasn't a lady. After the lunch was over, Oscar showed her around 
the command post. It was set up in two sections, the main room 
which was basically public and a bedroom. There was a queen-size 
bed in the room. She looked at it and asked, "Queen-size bed? I 
didn't know that was standard field issue."

Oscar blushed as he answered, "Well, I brought it here hoping that 
I wouldn't have to sleep alone."

She laughed as she teased, "You had better sleep alone when I'm 
not here."

"How about when you are here?"

"You better not sleep alone!"

Oscar smiled at her and said, "I like the way you think. I think it's 
time for us to see if the bed is strong enough to hold two."

The next morning, the six men gathered outside of their tent and 
looked around. The sun had been up for thirty minutes and they 
were wondering what they were supposed to do. Their discussion 
was cut short by six shots that splashed their chests with red paint. 
One of the men swore, "God damn it! We were waiting for orders."

Oscar stepped away from the wall against which he had been 
hiding. They had not seen him there. He stood up and said, "You 
were told that you were to go into the desert and live for three days 
while I hunted you. It was to start this morning. Morning started a 
half an hour ago."

The man shouted, "What about provisions?"

Oscar nodded in agreement. He said, "Yes, you got off to a very 
bad start. You didn't even get provisions. Do any of you have maps 
for the area?"

The man looked around at his fellows and shook his head. He 
replied, "We are supposed to be trained."

Georgia stepped out from one of the tents and pushed her way 
through them. The man that occupied that tent stared at her 
wondering when and how she had gotten in there. They didn't 
know it, but she had been hiding in there since two hours before 
sunrise. She said, "You are getting trained."

She went to Oscar and winked at him. Oscar said, "You guys have 
all of today and three more days to think about it. Remember, no 
talking to each other about what you've learned today. I'll be 
hunting you three sunrises from now."

One of the men, a Captain, stepped forward and said, "Excuse me, 
but I didn't learn shit today. You are supposed to tell us what we 
are supposed to learn and we learn it. That's called training."

Oscar turned to the man. He stepped right up to his face as his eyes 
narrowed and lips pulled tight. In a very cold voice, he addressed 
the man. "You're a fool. You're here to learn how to fight terrorists. 
What I did this morning was exactly the kind of thing that terrorists 
do. Now go to your tent and think about it mister or you'll be here 
a year from now until you get it right. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, sir," snapped the man in reply. He was tempted to include a 
salute, but refrained himself at the last moment. He went to his tent 
and sat down on his cot. He was angrier than anything else, but 
realized that Oscar had stated the truth. That was exactly the kind 
of thing that terrorists did.

A couple of the other men went to their tents to think about the 
morning's events. They were all trained specialists, used to 
working as an integrated team to overcome the enemy. When they 
weren't working as a team together, they were building teams of 
local men. They were used to being given a mission objective and 
then getting put into the proper location to go after it. This guy had 
already beaten them in a fight. He had shot them all thirty minutes 
after they had left their tents. Hell, even the woman had shot them 
all yesterday before they had a chance to react.

One of the men went to the supply tent to see if he could get a map 
of the area. He looked down at his uniform and realized that he 
was going to need another one. He was disgusted with himself. He 
had been the last one out of the fight yesterday and he had stood 
there like a fool during the entire thing. He realized that he had 
underestimated the man.

There was one last man standing there. He looked over at Oscar 
and asked, "We are a team. How can we act as a team without 
discussing what we learned?"

Oscar looked at him for a moment and answered, "The answer is in 
your question."

The man stood there staring at the couple as they walked back to 
the command tent. He wasn't quite sure what to make of the 
answer. He watched the pair as they entered the command tent. He 
followed them to the door and knocked on it. He stood there a 
minute until he heard a rather disappointed, "Come in."

He entered the room and faced Oscar. He said, "I would like some 
information sir."

"Ask away."

He looked at Oscar and asked, "What are the rules of 
engagement?"

"That's a very good question, Major," replied Oscar. He turned and 
looked at the man for a minute and then asked, "What do you think 
they are?"

"Shoot first and ask questions later." The Major answered not 
meaning it to be taken seriously.

Oscar nodded as he replied. "Sounds good to me."

The Major looked at Oscar. He was disgusted by the man's answer. 
He asked, "Are you training us to be killers?"

Oscar answered, "No, I'm training you how to fight terrorists."

The man stormed out of the office. He couldn't understand how the 
brass had let this man loose to train them. He was a psychopath 
that shot them without warning. Ambushing them from the back. 
He didn't care for the rules of war and by his answers suggested a 
willingness to violate them. The bitch with him was just as bad.

Georgia watched the man leave with concern. She could tell that he 
was very angry by the answer he had gotten. She suggested, "I 
don't think he likes you."

Oscar smiled at her and answered, "Of course not. He's never 
talked to a terrorist. He's convinced that I'm a psychotic killer."

She asked, "You aren't?"

Oscar said, "No. I just learned something very important when I 
was out in the desert. The enemy we are fighting doesn't care about 
any rules of war. They will kill a hundred civilians in the off 
chance of getting their target. They think we are weak because we 
fight according to rules that value life over winning. They believe 
in winning at any cost. They will blow themselves up, if they can 
take more of the enemy with them."

She said, "You are really serious."

He told her about what he had overheard at the well when he was 
first wandering the desert. She couldn't believe that the men had 
talked about the American forces in the manner that they had. 
Despite how many times it had been shown on the news, it was 
still difficult to believe that someone would actually volunteer for a 
suicide mission. It was incredible that they had talked like that 
among themselves.

"You are right," said Georgia after she thought about it only now 
realizing that there was actually a method to his madness. 

Ten minutes before the third sunrise after the last debacle, the men 
quietly slipped out of town. They had their guns ready and were 
looking for any kind of movement. The terrain here was flat and 
they could see a long distance. Nothing could sneak up on them 
without them seeing it first. 

They had met the day before to come up with a plan that was likely 
to work. Their plan was to get out of town before sunrise and then 
head straight for the hills. Once in the hills they could get lost and 
not be found for three days. They went a hundred more yards 
before they stopped to watch the sunrise. The men all crouched 
down to keep a low profile.

The sun rose over the horizon. Tentacles of light reached out 
touching the hill tops in the distance. It was a truly spectacular 
sunrise that took their breath away. The dry air gave sharp 
demarcations between light and dark. The softness of colors typical 
of more humid climates was not present. 

The men looked at each other, smiling as they imagined Oscar and 
that woman waiting for them outside their tent. Several of them 
looked back at camp with smiles on their faces. They stepped 
forward and moved ten more yards. They all stopped when they 
heard and felt the splatters of paintballs on their backs. 

As one, they turned and looked behind them. Georgia stood up and 
smiled at them from a location that was about three yards from 
where they had stopped to watch the sunrise. She had been in a 
depression in the ground covered by a robe matched the ground 
exactly. The six men looked at each other in disgust. One of them 
grunted, "You got us."

She put a whistle in her mouth and blew on it, creating a high 
pitched noise that carried for miles in the silence of the morning. 
She took the whistle out of her mouth and said, "Back to the tents 
boys."

She turned and headed back into camp. The men followed her 
without saying a word, each of them disgusted in having 
underestimated the two of them again. The Major was fuming. She 
had shot him in the back without even making an attempt to 
capture him. This was wrong and he planned to protest.

They reached the command tent. The men stood around sullenly, 
expecting to get yelled at. Oscar stood there shaking his head. In a 
very conversational tone of voice, he said, "Every four days we 
start a three day hunt. That means you get seven chances. Today 
was your second chance and you didn't last 5 minutes after dawn. 
You need to do better."

The Major, still angry from the cowardly attack, spat out, "She 
didn't try to take us prisoners. She ambushed us from the back."

Oscar stepped up to the Major until there was less than six inches 
between them. He said, "In the entire time that we've been fighting 
the terrorists in Afghanistan, not one American Soldier has been 
taken prisoner. We have had soldiers wounded. We have had 
soldiers killed. But, we have not had a single soldier taken 
prisoner. Think about that."

The other men listened to the discussion and realized that Oscar 
had stated the truth. Oscar stepped away from the stunned Major 
and faced the whole group. He said, "I'm going to tell you one 
thing now and you need to remember this. They do not play by the 
Marquis of Queensberry rules."

Georgia smiled and waved as she said, "Bye boys, see you in three 
sunrises from now."

Oscar and Georgia headed into the command center. Once inside, 
she giggled and said, "I think they are beginning to get the idea 
now."

Oscar smiled and answered, "Yes, they are."

Georgia frowned and said, "You know what that means, don't 
you?"

"Yes," replied Oscar. "We actually have to start working."

Georgia stripped off her cloak and desert gear. She tried to do it 
suggestively, but there wasn't much that could be done with 
combat boots, a belt full of weapons, and fatigues. She finally got 
undressed and posed like a Rambo, flexing her muscles and 
holding her paintball gun. She asked, "Are you up to the challenge, 
little man?"

He slowly got out of his clothes, suffering from the same problems 
that she had while undressing. Once naked, he faced her and 
replied, "Let the hunt begin!"

They chased each other around the command center a few times, 
ending in the bedroom. They wrestled on the bed, each trying to 
pin the other. It was fun and they laughed as they grappled on the 
bed. She won the moment she grabbed his cock. He cried, "No 
fair!"

She laughed and said, "We aren't playing by the Dofus of 
Doonesbury rules!"

He laughed and replied, "I surrender!"

She climbed up and positioned her pussy over his face. She giggled 
as she said, "You have to sign the surrender treaty with your 
tongue."

Georgia rode his face as he worked on her pussy with his tongue. 
The more they had sex together, the easier she found it to come. 
She knew that she was going to come from this alone. Oscar 
explored every square centimeter of her lovely pussy, enjoying the 
earthy flavor that her active morning had produced. She moaned at 
his attention to details, particularly when he started thrumming his 
tongue on her clit. The repetitive movements of his tongue on her 
clit produced the desired effect and she came flooding his mouth 
with her juices.

His cock was hard and erect. The size of his erection put the head 
of his cock well above his belly button. Georgia moved down, 
grasped his cock in her hands and guided it into her ready cunt. 
The thought crossed her mind that it had stopped being a vagina 
(which sounded too clinical) or a pussy (which sounded too tame), 
and had become a cunt (which sounded sufficiently demanding and 
reflected how she felt). 

She mounted him and started moving around on his cock. Her 
movements, changed from up and down, to forward and backward, 
and then to circular. She moved randomly until she found the 
motion that drove her wild. She let the needs of her body dictate 
what she did. She wasn't worried about Oscar or his needs. She 
was taking from this experience rather than giving. Some deep 
seated need drove her to this level of selfishness. She came with an 
explosive force. After coming, the violence of her actions only 
increased leading her to another orgasm and then another.

Oscar, laying on the bed, was amazed at the total concentration on 
her pleasure that Georgia exhibited. He loved this. Normally she 
allowed him to set the pace, which was typically gentle and caring. 
Then she would transform into this tiger that rode him like a 
woman possessed. He loved the change in roles, but always before 
she had cared a little for his pleasure. The violence of her actions 
and sudden changes in technique allowed him to last much longer 
with the result that his orgasms were typically much longer in 
duration. 

This time was different. This time she was totally indifferent to 
him. She must have had a dozen or more orgasms before he came. 
The violence of his orgasm lifted his hips off the bed as his body 
arced. He lifted his hips a foot in the air taking her with him as he 
ejected his seed into her. The strain on his back was tremendous 
and he quickly collapsed back onto the bed. She came with him, 
achieving another orgasm.

They lay there recovering. She rubbed a hand over his chest as 
guilt at her selfishness in bed flooded over her. She said, "I'm 
sorry."

Oscar asked, "For what?"

"I didn't even think about you at all while we were in bed," she 
replied. In the past, similar actions in bed had chased away the few 
boyfriends she had. Today was the first time that she had allowed 
herself to completely loose control like that.

Oscar laughed and replied, "And you are apologizing for that 
amazing experience? By the Gods and Goddesses woman, that was 
amazing."

She looked at him in surprise and asked, "You aren't upset that I 
wasn't exactly feminine in bed?"

He hugged her tightly and whispered in her ear, "You let loose the 
George inside you. How could I be upset about that? George is as 
much a part of you as Georgia."

She leaned back in surprise, staring in his eyes nervously, as she 
asked, "You really mean that?"

"I love you. That means I love Georgia and I love George. Don't 
ever fear about letting me see or experience the real you."

She grabbed him in a spine breaking hug as she wept. She had 
found Mr. Right and he accepted her. Her relief, her pent-up 
feelings, her worries, and her fears all came to the surface at once. 
Oscar held onto her and let her cry. He wasn't uncomfortable by 
this display of emotion as many other men might have been. He 
understood that when walls come down between a couple that it 
can lead to a flood of emotion. The acceptance of those emotions 
was part of loving another. 

She finally calmed down. As her tears slowly dried, he reached to 
the bed-stand and retrieved a tissue. She accepted the tissue and 
blew her nose. He stared up at her, taking in her red puffy eyes and 
red nose. He really loved her. He said, "There may be times when 
I'm just as selfish in bed, when I'm very passive, and when I need 
George. I hope that you can understand that."

She laughed and said, "I'm supposed to complain about you acting 
like a man. No problem."

Oscar and Georgia watched as the men left the camp the day 
before the hunt was to begin. They kept notes on the route that they 
took and referred to the map to identify likely camp sites. Looking 
over the map, the site the six men were headed towards was pretty 
clear. Oscar asked, "Do you want to go tonight?"

"Of course, I want to go."

"Okay, just checking," replied Oscar. He watched as the men 
entered the hills and laughed, "I wonder why they didn't take a 
Hummer."

She looked at him and asked, "They could have taken a Hummer?"

"Sure. We are. I'm not walking all that distance before I start 
looking for them."

She laughed and said, "They are still playing by the rules."

Oscar grinned and answered, "No rules. I bet they would be 
surprised to learn that if they were to go out there and then head 
over to the main base for three days, they would win."

"That's mean."

Oscar nodded and replied, "You can tell someone to think out of 
the box, but that doesn't work. You have to force them to think out 
of the box."

The next morning, the sun rose over the horizon. The men in the 
camp were getting ready to break camp and move to a more secure 
location. They were happy to have a head start on Oscar. They had 
gathered ready to leave when a stomach tightening thud sounded 
on the ground at their feet. The paint grenade sprayed paint in 
every direction. The men didn't even have a chance to react.

Oscar stood up and looked over the men. He blew his whistle. 
Shaking his head, he said, "Come with me. We'll take you back to 
camp."

The men followed him to the Hummer, a hike of about an hour. 
They stood around it for several minutes looking at each other. The 
fact that it was an hour away from their camp and they had not 
heard it arrive was rather disturbing. The fact that they didn't think 
of taking a Hummer was even worse. 

Georgia appeared from the rocks a little distance away and walked 
over to the Hummer. She was smiling as she walked. She came up 
to Oscar and said, "That was a glorious sunrise. Thanks for letting 
me come with you."

The men just looked disgusted as they watched the couple interact. 
This was supposed to be serious business. Oscar turned to the men 
and said, "Get in. We'll drive you back to camp."

The men climbed into the back of the Hummer while Georgia got 
into the passenger side so that Oscar could drive. She turned to 
Oscar and said, "You know, there are six of them and two of us. It 
makes you wonder how we could get all six of them at the same 
time."

Oscar smiled at her and replied, "Oh, that's going to happen when 
ever they bunch up in a group like that."

She tittered, "True."

The Major stared at Georgia as the comment registered. One of the 
four captains looked out the window at the terrain. He had come to 
the decision that he was coming out here alone next time. The 
Colonel decided that he was going to leave for the hills the 
following day and take enough supplies with him to last for the 
week. 

They reached the camp in an hour and Oscar parked the car in 
front of a sign. The name of each of the men was written on a row. 
Columns were numbered sequentially. The first two columns were 
marked with K's. The first column also had an O separated from 
the K by a slash. The second column had a G separated from the K 
by a similar slash. 

Oscar got out of the truck and walked over to the board. The men 
left the truck, turning to watch as Oscar wrote K's in the third 
column with O's separated from the K's by a slash. He stepped 
back and admired the board. He turned to Georgia and said, 
"Looks like I'm ahead of you by six kills."

She laughed and said, "Okay, you were right. They chose your site 
for a camp. Next time, I'll do better."

Oscar turned to the six men and said, "You've got three days to 
prepare, men. I'd do a little better next time. Your chances of 
graduating are looking pretty hopeless about now."
<1st attachment end>


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