Message-ID: <48507asstr$1090055403@assm.asstr-mirror.org> Return-Path: <vickietern@aol.com> X-Original-To: ckought69@hotmail.com Delivered-To: ckought69@hotmail.com From: vickietern@aol.com (VickieTern) X-Original-Message-ID: <20040716113505.29515.00001481@mb-m16.aol.com> X-ASSTR-Original-Date: 16 Jul 2004 15:35:05 GMT Subject: {ASSM} Wimp by Vickie Tern 1/3 TG femdom Lines: 561 Date: Sat, 17 Jul 2004 05:10:03 -0400 Path: assm.asstr-mirror.org!not-for-mail Approved: <assm@asstr-mirror.org> Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories Followup-To: alt.sex.stories.d X-Archived-At: <URL:http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2004/48507> X-Moderator-Contact: ASSTR ASSM moderation <story-ckought69@hotmail.com> X-Story-Submission: <ckought69@hotmail.com> X-Moderator-ID: hoisingr, dennyw Wimp by Vickie Tern She's right, I guess. I'm simply not assertive enough. I'm way too agreeable, way too much inclined to go along with whatever anyone suggests and hope for the best. Whatever comes, I make do. I can't help it, I'm a nice guy, always have been, or anyhow I once was. I know now that I should've been a little less trusting. A lot less I suppose. I should have insisted on knowing what was going on. But who knew? And it doesn't really matter, it's just as well. How I've ended up isn't too bad. Really, it isn't, I'm not complaining! It's not unpleasant, not at all, don't get me wrong, I'm not really protesting or anything. In fact the chances are Cameron was right when she told me I'm a lot better off than before. "You just weren't cut out for what you were," she said. "So be grateful!" I do try. No one else seems to think anything's wrong, that anything odd happened. Nobody at work, none of the other girls, the ones I hang out with nowadays. Certainly not Cameron. Cameron's her last name, I don't even know her first name, but everyone calls her that except at work where she's always Ms. Cameron to subordinates like me. "The 'Ms.' keeps people distanced, if that's where I want them," she explained when she was telling me not to call her "Cameron" any longer. Ms. Cameron was once my girlfriend. The one big thing I did in my life was talking her into letting me move in with her. Bugging her into it, maybe. I kept telling her how I wanted to until one day she relented. So for some months we lived together and I took care of her place, and even though we were never intimate I had hopes. I wanted her to be my girlfriend. Then she really did become my girlfriend. We lived together the way girlfriends do, told each other secrets, shared our clothes and make-up, you know. Until she got married to Gary. Now she's only my boss. She tells me to remember that whenever she says "Jump!" I've got only one answer, "How high?" She points out that we're no longer equals even socially, that I need to develop my own life completely apart from hers, the way she has from mine. Mostly I already have. "You don't feel even a little bit responsible for me?" I once asked her when we were still living together, because by then I knew she'd set it all up knowing I'd go along because that was the course of least resistance. "You urged yourself on me," she replied. "So you're responsible. You should have known you were asking for what happened. And anyhow, I've done you a favor. Be grateful. I've done what girlfriends always try to do for each other." This puzzled me. She was saying we were girlfriends, which we were, though she was still my former girlfriend, or I'd hoped she would be. But when she did me this favor I was supposed to be her boyfriend, not her girlfriend, anyhow I was trying to get to be her boyfriend, and I still do consider myself her former boyfriend, in a way. But when I told that to the other girls at lunch the other day, they just laughed and told me to forget about it and get myself a steady boyfriend of my own, that it's past time. She was still a girlfriend when she told me how I'd brought it on myself. We were still living together until the house she was planning to live in with Gary was ready and they could get married and move in, and I'd finally go into my own place, a small bed-sitter she found for me downtown. "Something a little more like what you can afford on your salary," as she told me. "Where you can walk to work. But still, respectable, so you can invite a friend to come in for a drink if you like him." None of this is what I'd once hoped for. Some evenings I'd remember those old dreams and I'd sigh with that breathy moan they taught me at Charm School, "very feminine, drives men wild" they said, and that's proved true enough. But all Cameron ever did when I made noises like that was glance at me, then grin to herself and go back to her magazine or TV show or whatever. One night I must have given out a really pathetic little yip without even realizing it, because she closed her book Snap! and suggested abruptly that we go out for a bite to eat and then do some more furniture shopping for her new place, then maybe go to a club and meet some new people so I could practice more of what I'd been learning about feminine sociability. Because we both knew that in public from then on I'd need to behave as if I really were what I look like, what people think I am. When I objected she just said impatiently in that honeyed voice of hers, "For God's sake, Jamie, do quit moping. Get over it! It's done! You're a girl! And you may not know it yet but you will love it! You already do in some ways, I can tell." She wasn't wrong, not altogether. I didn't love it, but I'd gotten used to it, and I could see that there were certain advantages. Though sometimes I'd feel like such a fool! I mean, take for example her insistence that once a month I do what all the other girls in the office do so I'll be fully sharing their lives, and insert tampons into me same as they do, and take a teaspoon of Ipecac to simulate cramps same as theirs. "Then you'll appreciate how a girl feels down there. And also you'll get used to things getting put into you down there. It'll seem more natural." Well, it didn't, not at the time. Not the "Super" size, anyhow, only the "Junior Miss." And not the dildos she wanted me to use before every date just in case, to give me a taste of the real thing. Though I must say, pushing those soft rubber tubes in and out of me has always felt sort of ... well, friendly, if you know what I mean. Delicious. I'd look forward to it. So being a girl wasn't too bad at all, but it still didn't seem right. And I couldn't talk to her about any of it! She didn't want to know. I tried once when I came down to breakfast still wearing that shortie nightgown she'd loaned me, thinking that it was time for me to get my own, and soon. She looked me over top to bottom, chewing her toast, and she listened to me begin my speech. But only the beginning. She heard that much, then frowned and interrupted, "Don't tell me, Jamie! You should have told everyone months ago when it still mattered. You should have taken a stand right then, at the very beginning. Acted like a man! Told Sheila right off, and then the next day told the women at the salon and the doctors at the clinic too, everyone! But no, they all asked you if you really wanted this, or that, and you kept replying "Sort of," and "I guess." You agreed to everything! You were a good sport, the way you always are! You went along! So you did it to yourself!" "Yes, but I've never been perfectly sure that ...." She just looked steadily at me. "It does seem to me a little late for you to rethink your commitments. For God's sake, Jamie, just look at you! Soft and round and getting more so, face and body hair permanently gone, not that there ever was much. And your breasts coming in so nicely, just look at them, your nipples already poke out further than mine! And your weenie's now not much more than just that. I know, I see it often enough, what there is left to see. You can't go back." I just stood there. She was right, I knew it. She turned back to her morning paper. "Jamie, we've had this conversation before. What can I say? Suit yourself! Just don't expect me to stand by and cheer because you think you can breach a contract you signed in full knowledge of its consequences and then somehow scramble back to where you were and where we were! To where you wished we were! After everything that's happened?" She shook her head at the absurdity. "No way!" Now she stood up. She was already dressed, I saw, wearing one of her business suits. On a Saturday? "I've got to go in for a few hours this morning," she said. "Gary's coming over this afternoon for drinks and talk and, you know, to fool around. I've asked him to bring his friend Marty for you again. You remember Marty? You loved being with him last time, I remember, whatever it was you two found to do." She smiled confidentially. "I'm sure he showed you how being a girl has its advantages." I remembered. Marty hadn't known that I'd started using dildos to get off when my penis wouldn't stiffen any longer, but he did know it was my first time with a man, so he was very considerate. He poked only part of himself into me, to get me used to the feel, and then he lay there quietly. Even so he was huge, I could barely walk or sit the next day. Cameron probably thought we'd gone all the way. "Next time, Jamie!" he'd told me when he finally pulled it out. "Next time I'll fill you full of me. Till then you just think about it. Imagine what it's like. I want you to yearn for it!" I had thought about it. I still wasn't sure. But yearn for it or not, apparently 'next time' was later today. I reconciled myself to it. I suppose I wanted it. Cameron then looked around. "Meanwhile, Jamie, do us both a favor," she said. "While I'm gone clean up around here, would you? Thoroughly? And start a laundry -- we're both running out of clean undies, or haven't you noticed?" Then as she left she added, not looking back, "And while you're at it, for goodness' sake do something with your hair. Whatever do they teach you all those afternoons you spend at the salon instead of at your desk? And please don't come down again without putting on at least a little makeup! Take some pride in your appearance!" Then for emphasis, "Jamie!" The door slammed. She didn't want to hear any more complaints, girlfriend or no girlfriend. She was right, I guess. What was done was done, no denying it. Accept it, live with it. She was right, a few months earlier when things were a lot different, that was when I should have said something. I was still Jimmy then, a man who by sheer persistence had finally managed to talk her into letting me move in with her. Though I now know she agreed only because it suited her convenience. Once in, a few months passed with me trying to get up nerve enough to ask her to marry me. Though somehow whenever I started the subject she'd shunt it over onto something else, some movie we'd seen, an annoying change in her company's work regulations, phone calls from old college friends, this old friend of hers named Gary who'd showed up in town. Other stuff. It was as if she didn't want to hear about marriage. Maybe she didn't? Then that one day everything changed. We were getting dressed together in the pre-dawn dark, getting ready to go to her office, me for the first time. Cameron's a marketing supervisor for Honeybelle, that huge Cosmetics manufacturer, you've seen their stuff everywhere, their head office is a huge high rise building in this city and Cameron had already been promoted to Senior Manager, in charge of a whole floor full of analysts and salespeople and bookkeepers. I was applying that morning for a job as her secretary/receptionist. As a job it doesn't sound like much, I know, but it really was rather special, she assured me, because everyone on the floor would have to come to me to get to her. It didn't matter that I wasn't a girl like all the other employees on that floor -- under fair employment practices rules, men had an equal chance to qualify for any job that came available at Honeybelle, if they wanted it, if they were suitable. And I needed the work. My savings were about gone. Soon after Cameron and I began living together I'd lost my job. The software company I'd worked for went belly up, and all sorts of programmers like me found themselves on the streets with no prospects. Most of them left town. I'd gotten a few out-of-town offers too, and each time Cameron had urged me to take them. But now that she and I were finally living in the same apartment, I didn't want to leave her. It would mean an end to our relationship. And I was in love with her. As she was with me, I wanted to believe, though she'd just shake her head whenever I hinted it hopefully. When she finally agreed to let me move in with her, it wasn't the usual arrangement. It was very conditional. "There's a maid's room off the kitchen," she'd said. "That'll be yours. You don't enter my bedroom at all except to straighten up and make the bed and collect my laundry. You take over all the household chores, cleaning and so on, cooking full dinners whenever I eat in, that sort of thing. That's the arrangement. That's how you'll pay your way." I'd been glad to, because it gave me plenty of opportunity to show her what a great husband I'd make. "Don't expect intimacies of any kind," she'd stipulated. "If I should ever feel anything like that I'll tell you -- you don't ever ask me." I told her that sounded fair. So I never did ask, even though she never offered. But I still had hopes. And almost immediately, I couldn't believe my eyes, I was granted a kind of intimacy anyhow. The very next morning I found her sitting in the kitchen wearing only her bra and panties. She glanced up at me, then resumed reading the newspaper and sipping her coffee. I sat down and continued to stare at her. She'd sighed and looked up again, then said in a level voice, "Jimmy, stop staring, it isn't polite. Maybe you don't understand. Just because you're living here now and looking after things for me doesn't mean I'm going to change any of my habits. This is my apartment. I expect you not to notice how I'm dressed or undressed. If you can't ignore it I'll have to ask you to move out." So I didn't notice, not so she'd notice anyhow. Sometimes she actually went around nude, even when I was in the same room vacuuming or maybe running her bath. She had a sensational figure, thin but with astonishing curved bulges jutting out on her hips and chest and rear end. Once I heard her on the phone chatting with someone in a teasing tone of voice, some guy maybe, and when I passed through the room I could see that the whole time she'd been stroking her clit and wriggling her hips ever so slightly. Her fingers and labia, you know, that slit women have down there, they were glistening wet. But she just looked up at me and then through me as if I weren't there, and smiled at something the other person must have said, and diddled herself some more. She'd seen me naked often enough too. And with a hard on a few times, when she was nearly naked and looking ravishing and I couldn't help it. But again, she never seemed to notice. Her eyes passed over me as if I were a piece of furniture. She didn't seem to care. Even so, there I was, living with her. Shacked up, like they say. It was a beginning. I figured it was only a matter of time. Once I was out of work I had lots of time to keep her place in perfect order. But still, I was a layabout. In the months that followed she'd sometimes get short-tempered about my hanging out reading the ads, interviewing for jobs for which I was overqualified and under-enthusiastic, then not getting them anyhow, or else doing nothing. Oh, I'd looked, but there were software designers all over the streets going begging. Literally! I'd passed one sitting on a street corner with a piece of cardboard around his neck reading "Will hack for food!" and I'd carefully not looked back at him. Someone's joke, I supposed, though maybe not. But this Honeybelle thing was a real job opening. Rosemond, her previous secretary-receptionist, had just quit to get married and relocate out of town. At Cameron's request I'd designed and sent the couple a computer-animated congratulations e-mail, a cartoon hen mounting a cartoon rooster. "She'll laugh," Cameron had said. "It probably is that kind of relationship, too. She's smart and assertive and he's good looking but nobody." She'd then looked hard at me but said nothing. I felt uneasy. Watching me closely, she then told me that I had an inside track to replace Rosemond if I was willing to work as her secretary until something more suitable showed up. "Apply for the job, and I'll see that it's yours." Well, what Rosemond did was no big deal. I could file, and I could type a blue streak flawlessly, an essential skill if one's profession is really writing software. And I could be pleasant enough with people waiting to see her, and certainly I could answer the phone and keep her appointment book, and so forth. No problem. And I was much better-suited than an applicant she'd seen yesterday, Cameron told me. That's what had given her the idea. I wasn't as tall, she said, but like this other applicant I was slim and blonde and had small, pleasant features. And I move with a kind of sprightly good cheer people like, she pointed out. Girls have always thought I was cute. "You'd adapt well, I'm sure of it," she said. "And I hate to say it, but right now you're more of a nobody than even Rosemond's fiance. He at least has a job." We agreed that it would be good for me to get out of the house, and that full-time work as her secretary wouldn't interfere with my domestic chores. "You may not be doing menial things for me here much longer anyhow," she said, looking meaningfully at me. "I'm thinking of changing our relationship, making other arrangements." My heart leapt up at the implication! At last? I didn't know at the time that she and Gary were already engaged. I didn't even know there was a Gary anywhere in her life. So I'd made an appointment to talk to Personnel about Rosemond's job, and we were getting dressed to go in together, when she suddenly stopped and looked at me. "That was shrimp we had last night, wasn't it?" I paused. "That's right," I said. "You know we did. It was your idea." "Not a good idea, I see." "You thought it was," I replied, a little puzzled. "You bought it and brought it home for me to cook, remember? You didn't remember about my reaction to it last time? It was delicious. You took such pleasure in it, you kept urging me to have more and more, and I did, too!" I couldn't help myself -- that New Orleans Creole recipe I'd used was just marvelous. I'd figured the dish would go for two meals, maybe even also a lunch, but between us we'd finished the whole casserole! Mostly, I'd finished it. I was taking a chance with a food allergy -- shrimp usually give me a facial rash, though only for a day or two. More serious I thought was the pigging out, because I was on a strict diet, trying to stay slim. But with Cameron so enthusiastic about it I'd enjoyed the dish for once without worrying about either my allergies or my weight. I'd gone down twenty-five pounds since I'd first gone jobless, trying to look lean and mean for my interviews. In fact, as Cameron was asking me about last night's shrimp I was pulling up a pair of pants from a business suit I hadn't worn for months, and noticing that the waistline was now far too large. I tightened my belt and it looked as if I'd tied a sack around myself. Pin the waist up in back so it'll seem to fit in front? No, then all that material would sag around my rear, and I'd look thirty years older. I let them fall to the floor and went to my closet to find another pair. Another business suit, also no good. A pair of flannel slacks? Doubtful. And all the rest of my pants were casual wear, jeans and khakis to wear whenever it doesn't matter. Useless for a job interview. "Didn't you once tell me you were allergic to shrimp?" Cameron asked while watching me rehang my oversized pants and stare helplessly at my problem. "I seem to remember." Then without another word she went to her own closet and took down a pair of her own slacks, a dark shiny fabric I always enjoyed seeing her wear, tight around her butt and thighs but flared and loose below the knee. It had panache, the way she did! "Here, try these," she said, holding them out. "They'll fit." "Cameron, they're cut for your figure! I'd feel foolish!" "They're pants. You'd feel even more foolish applying for a secretary/receptionist's position looking like a hip-hop hobo. A neat appearance is even more important for that job than fast typing. It's great that you've slimmed down, but you should have realized before now that your suits aren't suitable any more." She smiled. I didn't. I held her slacks up to the light and looked them over. The waistline was about right, but the material did seem a little floppy. "Don't worry," she said. "This pair is man-tailored. They may fit a little snug on your butt, but snug is better than sloppy, and the material stretches to form fit, it won't pull or sag. Wear that big tweed sports jacket you've got -- it'll hang down far enough to keep men from staring at your rounded rear, if that's what's worrying you. Just don't waggle." She smiled, then added, "It'll also hide the fact that there's no fly. Your pants are no problem. But just look at your face. That's what we've got to deal with. Those shrimp have done you in, Jimmy!" A glance in the mirror confirmed what she was saying. Overeating all that shrimp had made my skin red and blotchy. I knew it was temporary. But my interview was this morning, and I now had the flushed complexion of an habitual drunkard. "God, what'll I do?" I looked at her a little wildly. She was right, the pants were no problem at all in comparison. "What I'd do, I suppose," she replied. "Slip into those pants and sit down over there, and I'll take care of it. No, not with those boxer shorts, they'll bunch and the legs will look lumpy! Here!" She reached into her drawer and took out a pair of her panties. "These'll keep your bottom neat. Don't worry about the lace on the waist band and the legs, they're so your panty line won't show. You wouldn't want that, would you?" Now she grinned broadly. "Cameron, this isn't going to work!" I said. "I can't...." "Look, Jimmy! This is your best job opportunity in months. Only two interviews required, me and Personnel, and I've already told Personnel you're who I want. Get past Personnel and come work for me, and look what we'll have! Two incomes again! And together all day long at the office! And once you're in-house, you'll be the first to hear about other jobs closer to your special skills. It's perfect!" "But what about my face?" "Tuck your package between your legs, those panties have enough lycra and spandex to keep them there. Good! See now, I knew those pants would fit. Nicely form fit in the crotch and rear, yet your panty line doesn't show at all! Here, sit here and let me attend to your face. You gave yourself a really close shave this morning, I see. Maybe that's why that rash is so visible? But first bind your hair back! Brush it a few times, then use this!" She handed me one of her ponytail scrunchies. "That's it. Before anything else we need to get our hair off our faces! No, higher up, so it's off your neck too." I pulled my long hair back as instructed, then sat down at her makeup table, back to the mirror and facing her as she pulled up a chair. "Rose beige, I'd say," she said, reaching behind me toward the massed bottles alongside the mirror. "Lucky I have it in the Honeybelle Colorfast line -- it's like paint, it won't rub off." "What is?" I wasn't too happy about this, but I knew that once Cameron decides on a course of action she follows through. And she was right. I needed this job, and I felt sure that once I was working with her we'd come to feel closer. I was sure of it. It would end the little strains that had developed in our relationship, and return me to something like respect. Maybe even admiration. "This foundation. Covers all blemishes and discolorations. There! Look!" She stopped stroking my face with a small sponge and sat back. "Almost done! Beautiful complexion restored!" Was she teasing me? I turned and looked into the mirror. The blotches were indeed gone. But instead I saw the face of a store window mannequin, my face a uniform pale tan, forehead, cheeks, and nose. Even my lips and eyebrows had disappeared under the even coating. "I look spray-painted," I told her. "Artificial! Like a display dummy! Cameron, this isn't going to...." "Oh yes it will! I wear this foundation to work every day, and it looks perfectly natural! Just wait! Only a few more touches to return you to a state of nature! No more talk--we're running late as it is!" Appalled as I was, I sat still as she reached behind me for different items and applied them swiftly, touches of another shade of foundation here and there, then a dark beige lipstick to recover the shape of my lips, pink blush on my cheeks but also underneath to create shadowed cheekbones, and a few strokes of eyebrow pencil. "There, now your brow arch is very becoming, and you don't look plucked hairless any more. But your eyes have nearly disappeared. I'd better make them a little more bold! Close them!" I did, and felt a soft crayon lining the edges, then something feathery across my eyelids. "Look up!" and I could see her clearly, concentrating intently as something wiped my lashes, wet for a moment, then dry. "There! Now close again!" I felt a powder puff and smelled a faint flowery dust in the air. "That's what blends everything! Keep them shut! Don't breathe for a moment!" And I heard a hissing and felt momentary moisture, as if she were hair spraying ... my face? "My little trick!" she said, satisfied. "Now none of it will rub off or wash off. You'll need to use makeup remover tonight, just like all of us girls. I have plenty. Now you can look at yourself!" I turned again, and did. "There's my matinee idol," she added. "My pretty boy! Perfect!" What I saw in the mirror was perfect, all right. And that was the problem. Men's faces take character from their imperfections, jutting masses covered with mottled skin. But not mine. It was me all right. But I saw large doll eyes staring out innocently from a face that was blushing as if at some overly-intimate suggestion, My eyebrows were thin, delicate, raised quizzically. My lips were their natural color, nearly, but darker, and perfectly outlined against my smooth, flawless, ivory-beige skin, somehow more ... plump. I looked natural, yet artificial. Smooth. Like a girl made up for work or a date. "Cameron," I began. "Never mind, Jimmy! You're fine. Trust me. Maybe a little cute, but that's you, and now you're well-defined, perfectly groomed, the way a receptionist should look when greeting important people and telling them to wait until they're called. Honey, that's the best I can do, and it'll do! Would you rather go in splotchy and mottled, looking like an old lush? A diseased drunk? You look good now! Lovely, if you must know. Finish getting ready. No, no tie with that sports jacket, an open necked-shirt, and wear your tasseled loafers, not those formal lace-up clod hoppers. I usually wear pale pastels with those slacks -- here's the pinkish sports shirt I got you a few weeks ago, wear that! Let's go, we're late!" I hesitated at the front door. "Go, baby!" she urged me. "I know what you're thinking. You're thinking that Sheila -- she's the gal who'll interview you -- will wonder why you look so ... so good. Well, don't worry about it. If she thinks maybe you're gay, the way you look, well, it won't hurt. Effeminate won't hurt either. We don't discriminate at Honeybelle, in fact she's lezzie herself. Tell you what, I'll bring you in and make my speech and we'll make sure she does only what the procedures require, test your typing speed and fill out your employment forms and so on. Stuff like that. Because I have a busy morning, and I need you at your desk right now, practically! Let's go!" And then I was on the front walk, heading toward her car. My face felt a little stiff -- the make-up, I supposed. My pants felt strange as I put one leg in front of the other, their loose cuffs flapping on my ankles, their smooth upper legs snugly hugging my thighs, and I realized that the way the stretch fabric gripped me, my tight-clad bottom was rotating under my oversized jacket. My God, I thought, I bet my rear end moves like Cameron's now! Suddenly it came to me! The pants were skin-tight, no pockets! No wallet! I had no documents! I patted down my jacket in a mindless reflex! Empty, of course. "I've got them, Jimmy," Cameron said as my hands danced over my body. "All you need really is your social security card and your driver's license with your old address on it. It's best if it isn't on the record that we live together. Nepotism, favoritism, whatever. It makes for divisive office gossip. I'll drive." end 1/3 VickieTern@AOL.COM -- Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated. +---------------------------------------------------------------------------+ | alt.sex.stories.moderated ------ send stories to: <ckought69@hotmail.com>| | FAQ: <http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/faq.html> Moderators: <story-ckought69@hotmail.com> | +---------------------------------------------------------------------------+ |ASSM Archive at <http://assm.asstr-mirror.org> Hosted by <http://www.asstr-mirror.org> | |Discuss this story and others in alt.sex.stories.d; look for subject {ASSD}| +---------------------------------------------------------------------------+