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From: Carlos Malenkov <cmalenkov@theriver.com>
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Subject: {ASSM} The Book of Asses (MF MM bi anal cons)
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Date: Thu, 15 Jul 2004 17:10:01 -0400
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THE BOOK OF ASSES
by Carlos Malenkov <cmalenkov@linuxwaves.com>
Word Count: 5136
Copyright (c) 2003 by Carlos Malenkov
Posting and archiving rights granted to ASSM. All other rights reserved.



Val's ass obsession dates back to his freshman year in college. A casual
acquaintance had been describing how a nice round undulating bottom summed
up for him everything that was enticingly feminine in a woman, and all
at once it hit Val over the head. Like a sledgehammer. "This is what it's
all about. What sex means. What life means. The focus of it all. Ass!"

Right then and there, Val decided that he didn't just want a "piece of
ass" .  . . he wanted the entire ass. The logic was so compelling that
he just had to put his insights on paper for all the world to see. He
began to write a book.

Starting the first blank page was the hardest thing he had ever done.



     -------------------------------------------------------------------
     THE BOOK OF ASSES
     Part I

     Fundament Fundamentals

     Ass is magic. The lush roundness, the curves . . . The Curve.
     That most elegant and sensual of all geometric shapes -- the
     vertically split oval, the inverted catenary, the upside-down heart.

     The ass. It releases nauseating, evil-smelling waste and emits
     noxious gas . . . it's the exit passage for lumps of shit and
     rotten-smelling farts. It's the symbol of all that is unclean. And
     yet, by some strange alchemy, it becomes the most highly-charged
     and sensual body part. It's an obsession, a ruling passion, a
     crystallization of purpose.

     Remember how weird and disgusting even the plain vanilla sex act
     seemed when you first learned about it at age 10? Well, anal sex was
     even more disgusting when you found out about *that*. "Cornholing,
     that's what queers do when they have sex. One guy sticks his dick
     into the other guy's asshole and fucks him up his shit tube." That
     image haunted you for years. Even the word "corn" conjured up demons.

     The very idea of fucking an ass is explosive. Forbidden fruit. It's
     perverted. It's nauseating. It's magnificent. Vaginal sex is, at best,
     a pale imitation.

     The higher the barrier, the more difficult the passage, the stronger
     the resistance, the stickier the lock -- the more explosive the
     energy release when you break through.

     The ass is the entrance to the Mysteries. Just insert yourself
     into the keyhole and plunge. Open the door. Enter the chamber of
     hidden delights. Welcome to a higher order of existence.
     -------------------------------------------------------------------



Val's next girlfriend, happily, was into ass play. (He had made damn
certain of that before they got too deeply involved.) It didn't take
much persuasion for her to try anal. Their first attempt was rather
pathetic in its clumsiness and not much fun for either of them. Too eager,
too impatient . . . he had pushed too hard trying to get into her back
passage. Too little lube. She was too dry and it hurt a bit. He came
while still stuck fast in her outer ring.

Marsha took him firmly in hand after that. She had done some reading
and judicious asking on the methods and techniques of ass fucking.

"Val, dear Val. Let me guide you through this. You'll do it exactly as
I say, and you'll be patient, too . . . or I'll chop off your . . .

"First, we need a higher quality grade of lube. Not that cheap shit you
got at the corner drugstore. And we won't skimp on it, either.

"Next, you'll turn me on with pussy stroking and clit sucking before
I let you anywhere near my asshole. Make me come once or twice. Three
times is even better.

"Finally, listen. Listen to me. Me! The boss. When I'm ready to let you
stick anything into my ass, I'll let you know loud and clear.

"Yes! That's good. I'm going to lean forward and bend over those pillows
and stick my ass into the air. It'll be totally open to you.

"All right. Prepare me with a finger inside, and plenty of lube on it,
don't forget. Now two fingers. Twirl them around. Stretch me. Loosen me
up. Lube me up inside. Now lube yourself up. Slather it on. Get ready
to slide in now. Ready?"

Boy, was he ever. He positioned himself at the entrance to her ass and
pressed forward gently. The dick head slowly disappeared, and with a sort
of liquid pop, he was past the entrance. There was almost no resistance
now, and he slowly slid in deeper. Inch by inch, his shaft submerged
into her darkness. The front of his thighs bumped against the curve of
her buttocks. He was all the way inside.

At first it didn't feel all that different from cunt fucking, though the
fit was somewhat tighter. Then it hit him that he was doing something . .
. dirty . . . forbidden, and a wave of heat almost made him faint. There
was a powerful electric current surging through him and he was locked
rigid in ecstasy. He let his entire weight rest on her back and buttocks,
totally immersed in her.

Marsh sure liked it. She came right away, and the rhythmic squeezing
of her asshole on his cock sent him right over the edge. He howled
in delight.

A trickle of his come leaked from her asshole as he pulled out of her.
There was a small smear of brown on his tool, and a pungent shit-smell.
All of that was a major turnon and he was immediately ready for another
go.

While it lasted, it was the best thing that had ever happened to him. But
it was an argument over money, of all things, that broke them up. His
parting words were: "Well, your next boyfriend may not be as cheap as
I am, but will he be able to keep your ass happy?"



     -------------------------------------------------------------------
     THE BOOK OF ASSES
     Part II

     Variations

     There are as many different shapes of asses as there are subtypes
     of humanity. Oval, round, boxy. Elongated, flat, voluptuously
     protruding. Chubby, gaunt, and all shades of in between. The
     architecture of the ass reflects, and to a certain extent even
     defines the body structure.

     Women have a wider pelvic girdle, for ease in giving birth, and this,
     together with their additional padding of fatty tissue, gives their
     asses a rounder and fuller shape than those of men. Men's asses
     tend to be more compact and muscular. Which configuration appeals
     more to the senses is a matter of individual taste and orientation.

     Women's asses in particular run the full spectrum of morphological
     variance. The classic ideal is the curved, full-bodied pear-shaped
     ass. This gives its owner the somewhat bottom-heavy appearance that
     has fallen out of fashion lately. Almost as pleasing is a plump round
     apple-shaped ass. Much less desirable is the long-and-lean ass type
     dictated by Hollywood and the fashion industry. Seen from behind,
     the bearer of this ass variant might just as well be a teenage boy
     as a mature, desirable woman.

     For the true connoisseur, an important criterion of any particular
     ass is how it feels to press and bump against it when fucking its
     owner from behind. The ultimate test, of course, is the inner texture
     -- how it feels to fuck the interior.
     -------------------------------------------------------------------



In between girlfriends and horny. Empty bed and an ache in the loins.
Finally someone came on to Val. Wanted to get close, physically intimate.
Only one problem. It was a man. He did have a nice ass, though . . .

They spent a pleasant enough afternoon together. Warren was friendly,
laid back, even moderately witty. They didn't have much in the way of
common interests, and the conversation soon sputtered and died . . . but
there was that physical attraction. That same evening they had a late
dinner in Val's apartment.

Warren's ass didn't feel all that much different inside than Marsha's.
Same tight fit, same silky-smooth texture. But it was hotter inside there.
An inferno. It was the heat of molten lava, the primordial fire. The fire
that singes, then melts you . . . and you lose your sense of self and
float in harmony with everyone and everything. The fire you can feel,
but not approach too closely.

Then there was the added bonus of being able to reach around and with
a massaging hand make Warren's hard dick twitch and spasm and spurt
. . . and see and feel Warren's stretched-open asshole involuntarily
contract and clench around the dick deeply embedded within it. It seemed
that ass-fucking a man had its peculiar attractions.

The next time they met, Warren wanted to be on top. The thought had
already occurred to Val, but . . .

   --------------------------------------------------------------------
   The one thing men fear most is being penetrated. Being fucked in the
   ass. It implies loss of manhood, loss of control, degradation. It's
   the ultimate taboo. Yet, anything forbidden, especially *that*
   forbidden has a powerful attraction.
   --------------------------------------------------------------------

. . . Yes, Val been more than a little bit curious about how it would feel
to take a dick into his own ass . . . to be the one fucked. He was getting
hot and horny just thinking about it. And Warren somehow knew that. He
gave Val a confident smile and began unbuttoning his shirt. It was a race
between the two of them to see who could get out of his clothes first.

It went surprisingly well. Warren was a patient and skilled lover and he
understood the value of lube.

The initial entry was a bit of a shock. Val felt himself *stretching*
down there, felt his hole enlarging, felt himself opening and being
pulled apart by the hard flesh pressing into his tunnel. He ached with
the sheer rapture of it and a long drawn-out sigh escaped his lips.

"Are you all right?" Warren asked.

"What you're doing to me -- it's tearing me apart, but it feels so good
and I don't know what's happening . . . "

 "Just think of it as a transformative experience," Warren suggested.
 "Let your feminine side express itself."

Looking at the full-length wardrobe mirror, Val watched two naked male
bodies on their hands and knees. It was bizarre seeing Warren's bare ass
bouncing back and forth. The glimses of fleshy shaft sliding in and out
of his own ass brought on flashbacks of all the times he had been on
the giving end. It was perverted. Dirty. Unnatural. Thinking that made
him even hornier. His dick was hard.

The liquid friction of the dick pistoning in and out of him and the
sensation of fullness rippling up and down his gut felt . . . well,
good. No, better than good. Intensely good. Head-exploding good. His own
hard dick was throbbing in the rhythm of what was going on inside his
ass. Each time Warren bottomed out in him, Val sensed his guts vibrate
with a rumbling surge of power. After a few minutes of that, he felt
pressure building up within him and . . . and . . . Warren was holding
steady at maximum depth and reaching around to massage his dick with a
greased-up hand. Val pulsed and released his liquid between Warren's
fingers, while his ass throbbed and clenched around Warren's dick. He
gasped and strange geometric patterns flashed behind his eyeballs.

"So, you liked it?"

"It was okay," Val managed to croak. He felt a pleasant ache in his rectum
as he used a hand towel to wipe up the wetness dribbling out of him. What
had happened to him, really? Had he lost an essential part of himself --
his manhood, or had he gained something? What had he become?

   -----------------------------------------------------------------------
   A quaint term for orgasm is "the little death." The person experiencing
   it allegedly dies, and is reborn changed in some essential way. So
   it is with a man sodomized for the first time. He has overstepped a
   barrier, and this has released an enormous charge of psychic power. For
   better or worse, he has transformed into a new and different person.
   -----------------------------------------------------------------------

"I do believe you're a natural," Warren was saying. " A natural bottom.
You took to being fucked like a duck to water. I wouldn't even have had to
reach around and jerk you off up front; you were on the edge of shooting
your wad even without that. Not everyone can have a prostrate orgasm --
come just from being ass-fucked -- but you can. In fact, you have the
most talented ass I've ever seen. Seen, hell, the most talented ass I've
ever been inside of. If any ass was ever made for fucking, yours was."

"That sounds rather poetic. What's all this leading up to?"

"Look. I want you as my steady. Your ass is mine. It belongs to me,
and me only. Likewise the rest of you. Your whole body is my exclusive
property. I own you, all of you."

"Warren, baby, I do believe you're presuming a bit much. My ass is
more than just a receptacle for your cock. It belongs to me. Me. A real
person. A person with an identity and free will. A person with a destiny
to fulfill. A person who has all of a sudden had his fill of assholes
who insist on asserting ownership rights on other people. A person who
has just decided to boot *your* ass out."



     -------------------------------------------------------------------
     THE BOOK OF ASSES
     Part III

     Taking Pleasure

     In the valley of the buttocks sits the crown jewel -- the rosebud,
     vulgarly known as the asshole. This is one of only two openings to
     the body's digestive system. Nature designed it to function as a
     portal, to release stored solid waste from the lower intestine. As
     it happens, it's a two-way valve, allowing entry as well as exit. The
     anus can be trained to become the most responsive and pleasure-giving
     of all the sex organs.

     The anal sphincter is a double valve. It consists of an outer ring of
     muscle that can squeeze shut and open up under conscious control.
     About three-quarters of an inch deeper inward is a second ring
     of muscle that responds to pressure from within and peristaltic
     motion. There are, however, methods of relaxing the inner valve to
     permit insertion of a foreign object -- a butt plug, dildo, or penis.

     Certain techniques facilitate anal entry . . . for purposes of ass
     play and ass fucking. Lubrication and relaxation are the key.

     The lower chamber of the large intestine, the rectum, has a lining of
     relatively fragile mucus membrane. Insertion therein of objects or
     body parts absolutely requires lubrication. A water-based slippery
     emolient is appropriate for silicone dildoes and condoms. Petroleum
     lubricants, such as Vaseline, seemingly work well with a bare penis,
     but they do have certain failings.

     Relaxation is critical for the passive partner -- the receiver or
     "bottom." This prevents pain, not to mention possible damage to the
     rectal wall, and makes the experience much more enjoyable for both
     parties. Preparation and loosening of the receiver's anus usually
     involves gentle insertion of one, then two well-lubricated fingers.
     The receiver can aid insertion of fingers and, later, penis or
     dildo, by pushing gently out (as when having a bowel movement)
     at the moment of entry. If necessary, the receiver can also assist
     insertion by reaching back around to pull apart the buttock cheeks.

     An experienced bottom can often accept insertion from a well-lubricated
     dildo or penis with minimal preparation. A fortunate few can even
     climax just from being ass-fucked, with little or no stimulation
     of their own "primary" sex organs (vagina/clitoris or penis).

     When bottoming, some men get pleasure from stimulation of the
     prostate gland, located on the forward wall of the rectum, below and
     behind the base of the penis. Feeling the head of the inserter's
     penis poking and rubbing against the prostate is often by itself
     sufficient to bring the passive partner to orgasm. Sensations
     of friction, stretching, and fullness likewise contribute to the
     pleasure of the receiver and may also trigger orgasm. This helps
     explain why many women also enjoy being fucked in the ass.

     Reputedly, anal orgasms are qualitatively different from the vaginal,
     clitoral, or penile varieties. For some persons, they feel more
     intense or even seem to occur on an entirely different plane of
     experience. Others find a deep sense of relaxation and calmness,
     a feeling of oneness with the cosmos, a transformative experience.
     Some even claim the anal orgasm to be a powerful triggering element
     for sex magick.
     -------------------------------------------------------------------



Her ass was big. Gargantuan. It drew his eyes like a magnet. She had the
perfect shape, bottom heavy with a huge, pear-shaped ass. It was, as an
astronomer acquaintance used to say, an luminescent globular cluster. When
she walked, her wide hips swayed enchantingly in a complex trigonometric
curve, and her ass must have made a blip on radar screens continents away.

Val was still coping with the effects of the breakup with Warren. He had
an empty feeling in his gut, the lower part of his gut to be exact. The
emptiness that Warren's hard dick had so satisfyingly filled. But,
dammit, he craved a soft and warm and round womanly body to hold and
caress . . . and make love to, and be loved by.

Amaya had a mind to go with her perfect ass. She was funny and smart and
delightful to be with. She had an infectious smile. Her laughter could
dispell the gloom of an overcast day. She could talk intelligently about
about computers and science fiction and classic Russian literature. More
important, she seemed interested in *him*.

Val acted the perfect gentleman toward her the first few times they were
together. Lunch followed by dancing followed by pleasantly murmured
goodbyes. Dinner and a movie, then a kiss on the cheek. An early
morning ride in a horse-drawn carriage, breakfast in a sidewalk cafe,
conversation, and a light kiss on the lips.

She was the one who had to take the initiative. "Don't you feel any
physical attraction *at all* toward me, Val?"

"Well, Maya, now that you mention it . . . "

"Then show it, damn it! You act like a brother toward me. I'm well aware
you enjoy my company, but isn't there anything else there? Maybe, just
maybe my body turns you off. I'm too damn fat, I know, and then there's
this huge fat ass of mine. It's part of me though, it's me!"

"Woman, calm down. I appreciate all of you, and that big fat ass of yours
most of all. Believe me, I'm a connoisseur of asses, and yours takes the
grand prize. I worship that ass of yours. I tremble when I see it. I've
been a bit shy around you precisely because I'm so hot for your bod . . .
but I didn't want to offend you."

"Offend me because you find me physically attractive? Idiot! Come here.
Kiss me, you fool!"

He did, and it turned into a warm hug. His hands, seemingly of their own
volition, slid down and quickly found their way to that magnificent ass
of hers, and quite a double handful it was, too. One thing led to another,
as it so often does (in fiction at least), and they ended up in each
other's arms that night.

"Val, my hot, hot lover!. Oh! You really do seem to like my ass. Come on
now, get behind me and come into my pussy once again so you can bump up
against my big ass. Deeper! I *like* that feeling. Mmmm. Maybe a bit later,
if I'm up to it (and *you're* up to it) we can play other ass games. Hmm?"

He lovingly annointed her round, lush ass with scented massage oil.
Rubbing and caressing every square inch of that flowing, abundant flesh,
he memorized its contours and texture. He burnished and worked the surface
of that finely sculptured ass until it heated up under his fingers and
gleamed mirrorlike with a rich layer of oil. She reached behind to spread
her shiny cheeks.

It turned out that her ass was as magnificent inside as out. She enjoyed
having it fucked at least as much as her cunt. Maybe even more.

It turned out that she liked his ass, too. Sticking a lubricated finger
or two into him became a regular part of their lovemaking. Then, one
night she found a wrapped up little surprise waiting on her pillow. It
was a custom-made dildo harness in her size (60" hips!). Her face lit
up like a 1000-watt floodlight.

It turned out that she liked fucking him as much as she liked being
fucked. Maybe even more. She was constantly after him to flop over on his
stomach or get on his hands and knees so she could "plumb his depths,"
as she so eloquently put it. But there can be too much of a good thing,
even when one's depths are being plumbed. (Human plumbing does have its
limits.) Some days his hole was so swollen and sore that even taking
a shit was an ordeal. He was embarrassed to take his bloodstained
undershorts to the laundromat. It got so he had to hide out from her
when she had that certain gleam in her eye.

"Damn you, Val! You're mine! You belong to me! I *own* you! Every part
of you. How dare you deny me your ass when I *need* it?"

"Look, Maya, baby. We've had a good thing going, but you don't own me.
I hate to say this, but . . . move that big ass of yours out that door
. . .  and keep right on moving it into the far distance.



     -------------------------------------------------------------------
     THE BOOK OF ASSES
     Part IV

     Positions

     For beginners at anal intercourse, the "spoon position" works very
     nicely. This has the inserter lying on his/her side behind the
     receiver, facing the receiver's back. The receiver draws the legs up
     part way toward the chest. The inserter curls up tightly behind and
     holds on to the hips of the partner, perhaps parting the buttocks
     to aid entry. Depth of penetration ranges from medium to fairly deep.

     The classic ass fucking position is "bent over." The receiver
     bends over forward with legs spread slightly apart, and presents
     the buttocks for insertion. This particular position works either
     standing up or down on hands and knees. It often helps for the
     receiver to recline forward over a bed or padded piece of furniture
     with his/her entire weight supported. This takes the stress off
     the muscles of the lower back and buttocks and helps sphincter
     relaxation for ease of insertion. Depth of penetration is deep.

     There are two variations of the "straight-up" position. Both partners
     may stand erect, with the inserter behind the receiver as before,
     but neither bends over. In similar fashion, the receiver may lie
     flat on his/her stomach on a bed or padded surface, with the active
     person lying atop the partners back and inserting from behind. A
     pillow under the receiver's hips facilitates insertion. Depth of
     penetration is medium to deep and the insertion angle results in
     direct stimulation of the anterior anal/vaginal wall, with its
     many nerve endings -- or prostrate, dependering on the sex of
     the receiver.

     The anal "missionary" position has the receiver lying on his/her back
     with partially bent legs pulled up far toward the chest. The inserter
     grasps the partner's ankles, pulls the legs over his/her shoulders,
     and leans over, face to face, toward the partner. The receiver must
     usually guide the penis of his/her lover into his/her own ass. This
     position provides exceptionally good anal/vaginal wall or prostate
     stimulation for the receiver and permits kissing. Some call this
     configuration "doing it in the family way" for its similarities
     to the classic "missionary" position. Depth of penetration can be
     very deep, and this may cause discomfort for the receiver if the
     inserter has an exceptionally large penis or dildo.

     A variation of the above "missionary" position has the inserter
     sitting. The receiver lies on his/her back, but with his/her ass on
     the lap of the inserter, and legs draped high over the inserter's
     shoulders. If the inserter is sufficiently agile, he/she can
     simultaneously perform fellatio on the receiver (assuming the
     receiver is male, of course). Depth of penetration is shallow to
     medium, but the angle of insertion is "unnatural," and this makes
     for unusual sensations. The penis contacts the anal/vaginal wall
     or prostate, as with the previous position.

     There are at least two varieties of the sitting position. (1)
     The inserter may sit in a chair or on a sofa, while the receiver
     lowers him/herself down on the inserter's lap, facing away. (2) The
     inserter may lie down flat on his/her back and the receiver sits
     down on him/her, again facing away. This is another good beginner
     position, since the receiver controls depth of penetration.

     The "T position" has the receiver lying flat on his/her back with
     knees drawn up and perhaps a pillow or two under the lower back
     for elevation. The inserter lies down underneath the the bent legs
     of the receiver, but at a right angle. There may be a significant
     difference in comfort for the receiver, depending on which side
     insertion occurs. Depth of penetration is medium.

     The face-to-face standing position requires practice and considerable
     agility on the part of both partners. The receiver raises a leg to
     waist level, which the inserter grasps and holds. This pulls forward
     the buttocks and anus of the receiver, and makes insertion from
     the front and underneath just barely possible. Shallow penetration
     at a strange angle is probably the best that can be hoped for,
     but that this is even possible is rather remarkable.
     -------------------------------------------------------------------



Val was pretty well soured on both sexes. Sure, you could have a good
time with playmates, but they seemed always to end up claiming property
rights. Wanting to own you. Enough of that shit! He decided that he'd
settle for his own company for the foreseeable future.

It helped that he had started a new and better job. A well-paying and
non-demanding job. A job that involved his ass, as it happened. He was
an underwear model.

Back in their happier days when they were (literally!) "into" each other,
Warren had put him in touch with a friend who ran a modeling agency. So
now Val was making a couple of thou a week just for parading his compact
underwear-clad butt in front of photographers and advertising execs. The
lights were hot, but the work was easy and the ambiance classy. And he
did have all the required talents: the ability to freeze a pose for an
extended period of time, and even more important, a tight, muscular set
of buns.

It was too good to last, of course. As his modeling career took off
(they raved about his butt), he got more bookings than he could handle.
The fame disease befell him. They began to call him the "Ass Man," and
his face became as familiar to the public as his backside. He couldn't
go out shopping without being surrounded by screaming fans holding out
copies of his notorious bare-ass "Slutboy" centerfold spread for him to
autograph. He couldn't go for a walk in his own neighborhood without women
(and sometimes men) sneaking up behind him and pinching his butt. His mail
overflowed with offers of marriage and indecent proposals in exquisite
detail from all five sexes. He had no privacy. The whole world seemed
to want a piece of him . . . a piece of ass. His ass was under siege.

Soon enough, Val got tired of peddling ass. He retired. With what was left
of his earnings, he bought a remote mountain cabin far up in the Canadian
Rockies. With no phone or electricity, he isolated himself completely
from civilization. His only companions were a neurotic Persian cat and
a custom-made set of solar-powered dildoes.



     -------------------------------------------------------------------
     THE BOOK OF ASSES
     Part V

     Preventive Maintenance

     The care and feeding of one's ass has a major effect on the health,
     and consequently pleasure capacity of that wondrous organ.

     A healthy and balanced diet promotes healthy bowel habits and
     maintains the vigor of the large intestine and the muscle tone of
     the sphincter. Avoid animal fats, which can lead to rectal cancer
     and other debilitating ailments. Consume generous portions of
     vegetables and foods containing fiber and "roughage" and you will
     be amply rewarded by regular and satisfying bowel movements.

     Regular exercise, especially walking, bicycling, and swimming,
     contributes to a healthy state of the digestive system and helps
     shape and tone the large muscles of the posterior. Kegel-type
     exercises of the anal sphincter ring maintain the flexibility and
     strength of that all-important gateway to ecstasy.

     Cleanliness keeps the anus healthy. Clean thoroughly after each
     bowel movement, and as necessary apply salve or ointment to treat
     irritation and maintain the suppleness and pleasing appearance of
     that entry to the chamber of delights.

     Enemas can be a useful adjunct to anal pleasure. Those particularly
     sensitive to fecal residue and odors may find it helpful to cleanse
     the interior of the colon with a saline enema prior to anal play. Of
     course, exercise due caution in administering enemas, both to one's
     self and to a partner.
     -------------------------------------------------------------------



As cut off from the world as Val was, a leading New York publishing house
had somehow gotten wind of his writings and tracked him down. Having
jeeped in over potholed dirt roads and iced-up mountain passes,
the publishing executive breathlessly explained that there was a
multi-million-dollar advance waiting if he would only sign a contract for
"The Book of Asses." A vast audience was panting for alternate sexuality
and "orifice liberation" literature. Now if Val would just sign on the
dotted line . . .

He was mightily pissed at having his privacy invaded. "How the fuck did
you find me, and what makes you think I need your filthy luchre anyhow?"

The executive smiled . . . and dropped her pants. She had a perfect ass
. . . and wasn't that a wicked-looking dildo harness girding her loins?
"After all, we *do* know your weaknesses, Val."



The book became a record-shattering bestseller. It overturned longstanding
traditions, altered behavior patterns, and eventually became the bible of
a new sexual orthodoxy. Its success set off a political avalanche. It
inspired an unstoppable movement to prohibit vanilla sex, and all
62 states of the North American Confederation eventually ratified a
constitutional amendment prohibiting vaginal intercourse. The birth rate
plummeted and the word "cunt" disappeared from polite public discourse.

Rumor has it that Val has almost completed his next work, "The Book of
Minds," a savage attack on intellect and rationality. It advocates a
compulsory prefrontal lobotomy as a prerequisite for owning property
or voting.

-- 
Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights
reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated.
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