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From: "Gina Marie Wylie" <gmwylie98260@hotmail.com>
Subject: {ASSM} Laura Alban Hunt - Ch 11 {Gina Marie Wylie} (teen, Ff, cons, inc)
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Date: Wed, 14 Jul 2004 17:10:02 -0400
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<1st attachment, "Laura Ch 11.doc" begin>

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

	The following is fiction of an adult nature.  If I believed in
setting age limits for things, you'd have to be eighteen to read
this and I'd never have bothered to write it.  IMHO, if you can
read and enjoy, then you're old enough to read and enjoy.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

	All persons here depicted are figments of my imagination and any
resemblance to persons living or dead is strictly a blunder on my
part.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

	Official stuff:  Story codes: teen, Ff, inc, con.

	If stories like this offend you, you will offend ME if you read
further and complain. Copyright 2004, by Gina Marie Wylie.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

	I can be reached at gmwylie98260@hothothotmail.com, at least if
you remove some of the hots.  All comments and reasoned
discussion welcome.

Below is my site on ASSTR:
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Gina_Marie_Wylie/www/

My stories are also posted on StoriesOnline:
http://Storiesonline.net/

And on Electronic Wilderness Publishing:
http:// www.ewpub.org/

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++


Laura Alban Hunt

Chapter 11   Retreat   Sunday Morning

Fred stopped in front of us.  "Yeah, I know.  I'm breaking the
rules again."

"It doesn't help your chances to make the team, young lady." 
Linda said quietly.

"Can I talk to you, Laura?  Privately?" Fred asked.

"We can talk in my room.  It's just around the corner."  

I led the way, shoved in the key, held it open for her.  "Would
you like me to leave the door open?"

She gave a short laugh and shook her head.

I let the door swing shut, waved her to the chairs.

Fred looked around.  "I was expecting you would have nicer rooms
than us."

"Nope, all the same."  I said.  "What do you want to talk
about?"

"I want to make the team."

"I think you have a lock on it, Fred, if you can get a handle on
the rules.  I think you can relax."

"Amy and I..." she said.  Her eyes had been on mine, now she
looked away.

"The two of you spent some time together," I told her.  "That's
all you have to tell anyone.  Details...  Too Much Information!"
I said it as good-naturedly as I could.

"I never pictured myself doing those things."  Her eyes met mine.
 "It was a lot nicer than I thought, a lot."

I was surprised.  I had trouble believing Amy would push Fred. 
But something had happened between the two of them beyond just
talking.  Maybe I should have given Amy a test on my 'don't move
the barriers' speech.

"Just remember that you want to leave options open as much as you
can; don't draw lines in the sand," I told her.

Fred half-smiled at me, she didn't look really happy.  "I hope no
one ever entrusts something really secret to Amy; she is really,
really ticklish.  She'll do anything to make it stop."  Her eyes
held mine.

"It's wrong for anyone to tell secrets, it's wrong to push, Fred.
 Amy's had some problems with people pushing her; they were
hurting her."  Actually, of course, I wanted to take Fred and
toss her in the lake, outside the hotel.  Amy really didn't need
someone doing what Fred had done.

"I'm sorry, Laura.  It was like a snowball rolling down hill; it
just kept going and going; it wasn't until she started to cry
that I realized how bad I'd hurt her.  I..."

I got up, walked through the door, leaving it open, and down the
hall.  How much damage had Fred done?

I knocked on the door to Amy's room, after a second Gail answered
it.  The fire in her eyes took me aback.  The fire died quickly.
"Sorry," she said, "I thought you were that bitch, come back to
gloat."

I could see Amy, buried in her pillows; even across the room I
could see that she was crying.  And hear it.

I turned to Gail, who was, at least, dressed.  "Gail, go down the
hall, tell Linda I've asked you to tell her to stay with Fred,
who's in my room.  Then go wake Marybeth and Nancy and have them
come here."

Amy heard me.  "Please!  Oh please!  Don't!  Please!  It wasn't
her fault!"  Amy spoke the words, but couldn't stop crying.

"Screw the little bitch," Gail said with heat, and then turned to
me.  "I got ripped today for what I did to Amy; they were right,
I was wrong, and I deserved it.  That girl is not only wrong,
she's crazy."  Still Gail turned and went down the hall.

I walked over and sat down next to Amy, who promptly wrapped her
arms around me, crying buckets.  After a second, she tried to
collect herself.  "Please don't hurt Fred."

"Amy, she hurt you.  What she did was unconscionable."

"She's scared; she's hurt; she didn't understand what she was
doing."

Marybeth had come in the room just before Amy said that.  She sat
down a few feet away from us on the bed.  "Then, dear Amy, we
will teach her the error of her ways."

Marybeth met my eyes.  "Gail gave me a lurid description of ...
something.  I couldn't quite get it straight."

"Next time you're in the field and need to ask some questions,
get Fred to ask them," I said bitterly.

Marybeth started to open her mouth, stopped and then paled.

"All she did was tickle me," Amy pleaded.  "Please, all she did
was tickle me!"

Nancy came in and heard the last bit.  I saw Gail, hovering in
the back ground, obviously trying to eavesdrop.

"Gail, please, a favor," I asked her.

She looked at me.  

I continued, "Please ask Linda to come here and bring Fred along.
 Nancy, can you trust Gail to patrol the halls?  Like
deputized?"

Nancy nodded to Gail.  "You know the rules.  If someone gives you
a hard time, knock on the door.  I'd appreciate it."

"All of us would," Marybeth added.

Gail left, and a few minutes later Linda and Fred came in; Linda
closed the door behind her.

Fred was weeping, so was Amy.

"The two of you, grow up," Marybeth said, her voice harsh.  "You
screwed up.  If you learn nothing else tonight, learn one thing:
screw-ups happen.  You aren't any good to yourself, your
teammates, or to anyone at all, if you can't deal with it. 
Enough with the tears."

I could see Linda was a little surprised.  I grinned to myself. 
Well, it's connect the dot time for you, Linda.  It will be
interesting to hear your take on this later.  It's about time you
figured things out.

Marybeth went on after the two settled down a bit.  "I've dealt
with civilian courts; judges and attorneys.  I have worked with
military courts.  God bless 'em, you have to have a special
dispensation to get a real lawyer.

"Military courts don't have a lot of the trappings the regular
legal system has; that isn't to say they aren't fair.  In fact,
they are much more fair if you are innocent, than a civilian
court.

"So, we'll use the military model.  There are two parts in a
military trial: first what they call the specifications, then the
charges.  Specifications consist of what happened, as close to an
objective recitation of the events as we poor mortals can make. 
Then the charges, what particular individuals did during those
events that was wrong.

"Amy, tell us what happened."

Amy paled.

I reached out and hugged her.  "Just tell us what happened, leave
everything else out," I told her firmly.

"I wanted to be with Fred.  I asked her to come to my room."  She
met Nancy's eyes.  "I made love to her; she made love to me.  We
made love to each other.  It was nice; it was Fred's first time
and she said she really, really liked it.

"We were laying in bed, just snuggling, after.  She found out I
was ticklish.  I asked her to stop, but she kept tickling.  'Tell
me if I'm going to make the team,' she asked, 'and I'll stop
tickling.'  So I told her, yes she was.  Except she didn't stop,
she didn't ask any more questions for a while, but...  I just
wanted her to stop.  I asked, please, pretty please stop.  And
then she asked another question, and another..."  Amy was in
tears again.

She stopped, wiped them away.  "I'm so sorry for being a cry
baby."

"Fred, your turn."  Marybeth said when Amy had calmed down. 
"Tell us what happened, from your point of view."

"I'm not stupid," Fred said.  "Oh God!  How many times have I
said that, so smug!  I am stupid!"

"Fred," I interrupted.  "What happened?"

"I wanted to know if I was going to make the team, it means so
much to me..."

"Fred," Marybeth spoke, Fred looked at her.  "We just want to
know what happened.  We will ask why, later.  We will be fair, we
will hear you out, but first we need to know what happened.  If
you want, you can just agree that Amy's story is right.  But you
need to speak to what happened, not how you feel."

"It was like Amy said.  I figured out what I had to do to get on
the team.  But, Amy is so nice.  Oh God, I'm so sorry!  She's so
nice, and it wasn't what I thought at all; so after she made love
to me, I made love to her!  Oh it was so marvelous!  Then we did
it together!  It was beautiful; I've never been happier in my
life.  No one has ever been as nice to me as Amy!

"But, later... I just wanted to know anything else that might
help me.  I'm sorry.  I'm so sorry!"  In spite of the admonition
about tears, she was a running faucet, drops falling off her
chin.

"What kind of questions did you ask, Fred?"  Nancy asked.

"Amy had made love to me; it was my first time, I could figure it
wasn't her first time.  I asked who she'd been with."

"And she told you what?"

"About the people she liked, who she didn't like.  How she didn't
like most of the people on the team.  She never was with you that
much, she didn't like Linda, Coach was okay.  But with Laura,
she..."  Fred's face fell.  "It was so good, Amy said.  Laura
cuddled her, hugged her.  It made her feel important, wanted. 
And Laura didn't care if they made love or not; she just wanted
to be Amy's friend."

She looked at me.  "You made me feel that way, too.  That's when
I knew I'd done something terrible.  I...  I...  I ran away, I
could hear Amy crying and crying and crying...  I don't know I
can ever make it right..."

Marybeth looked at Fred and then shook her head.  Fred nodded and
stopped talking.

"I'm going to tell everyone a little story.  It's not a very nice
story and will probably upset you.  When you start feeling upset
about it, think about why you're listening to it.  Then think
about what the story means to you just now."

She gestured and the two girls ended up sitting next to each
other on the edge of Amy's bed.  "My husband was a real secret
agent.  Really.  He worked for the CIA, spying for our country
against other countries.  Sometimes, though, the people who do
that sort of thing have to spend time training other people to do
it.  Do you understand?"

Fred's eyes, in particular, were huge.  Both girls nodded.

"Other times, he had to evaluate people who were going to work in
jobs like his.  A little like what we are doing here this
weekend.

"Once, a group of men, Army Special Forces, were going to be sent
into a hostile country.  Ten of them, a major, two captains, two
lieutenants and five sergeants.  The newest sergeant had been in
the army for a dozen years; so he wasn't really new.

"They told those men that they were going to do a field exercise.
 They were dropped from a helicopter, told to walk twenty miles,
while 'enemy' soldiers were looking for them.  This is a regular
exercise, pretty routine, everyone knew how to do it.

"But it wasn't really what they expected.  What the army really
wanted to know is what would happen if the enemy captured them. 
My husband was in charge of finding out.

"They knew where the army men were going to be, they hid in the
woods, when the army men got close, and it got dark they snuck up
close to the army guys.

"There's this thing called a 'flash bang' grenade.  It's like the
biggest flashbulb you ever saw; the loudest firecracker you can
imagine.  They tossed a half dozen into the camp.  If you have
your eyes open the flash blinds you for an hour or so.  Unless
you are wearing ear protectors, you are deafened for an hour or
two.  It is really stunning; even if you are expecting them, it's
shocking.

"They weren't very nice to the men.  They kicked them, they hit
them, made them take off their clothes... all of their clothes. 
They splashed cold water on them.  You understand, this was a
test to see what they would do if they were ever captured?"

Fred's head bobbed, Amy just stared.

"They went looking through the army men's things.  They found
some comic books in someone's pack.  Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck
comic books.  'Who's are these?'  they asked and no one answered.
 So, one of the men with my husband, tore one of the comics in
two.

"One of the army men, a man who'd been in the army nearly fifteen
years, who was the second highest grade of sergeant there is,
started telling them please, please don't hurt his comics.

"'Tell us your mission!' my husband's man asked.  'Tell us!'  He
held the comic book up, ready to tear it again.  The sergeant
pleaded and pleaded, but he wouldn't say anything.  The man tore
the comic in half again."

Marybeth was silent, looking at them.  "The sergeant started
crying, screaming.  He told them everything."

"Oh jeez!" Linda muttered.  "For a comic book?"

The look Marybeth gave Linda was enough to freeze the Pacific
Ocean.  Linda made a little zipping motion across her mouth.

"The interrogator took the comic books and ripped them all to
shreds.  The sergeant barfed, peed himself, let it all go. 
Pooped."

The room was silent, there were no sounds.  "The army told the
sergeant he had to quit, so he resigned.  No one was ever going
to want to work with him again."  She looked at the two girls. 
"Would you like to guess what else happened?"

Quite suddenly I knew; my estimation of Marybeth went up two more
notches.

"My husband fired his man.  Tearing the comic book the first
time, that was okay.  It was within the rules; it's important to
know these things, lives and our national security are at stake.
Comic books can be replaced.  The second time?  That was okay
too; the sergeant had started to break, but hadn't yet.  It was
important to know.

"He should have stopped there; even tearing the one book again
would have gotten him fired.  All of them?  As bad a mistake as
the sergeant's."

Marybeth nodded to Nancy.  "Coach."

I got the distinct impression Nancy wished Marybeth had kept
going, that she had stayed in charge.  Then I remembered what
Marybeth had said about what she'd like me to do when school
started.  I contemplated that and then decided that I might as
well start now.

"I know I'm new here," I said while Nancy was girding her loins.
"I know I have no authority, no real right to speak up.  But
Coach, I'd really like to deal with this."

I gestured towards the girls, sitting pale and tear-streaked on
the edge of the bed.  "Amy is a very special person to me.  I
wanted Fred to make the team.  I think it is partly my
responsibility about what happened."

To her credit, Nancy looked at me, not Marybeth.  "I'll listen to
what you say, then I'll decide, okay?" she told me.

"The whole package or you do it," I told her.

"Let her, subject to review," Marybeth told Nancy.  Nancy
nodded.

"Amy, look at me," I said quietly to the young girl.

She did.

"Do you know what you did wrong?"

"I told things about people."

"You did.  I grant you, some of the people you told on, aren't as
nice as they could be.  Some, like Gail, went way too far.  They
got in trouble, Amy."  Amy nodded.

"Still Amy, they are your teammates.  Telling Fred a little...
that's what you have to do, if you want to be on the team, and
helping the new girls adjust to what they have to do if they want
to be on the team.  But you went further, you told bad things, as
well as good things.  You told Fred about me, about Linda and
Coach.  Those things... well, the team understands; most others
wouldn't.  Even just hugging and snuggling for a night."

Amy had turned deathly pale.  "Do you hate me?"

"You made a mistake, Amy.  If I hated everyone who screwed up,
I'd have to hate everyone in the world.  Loving them, Amy, is
much better."

"I'm sorry I hurt you, that I hurt the team."  She looked at
Nancy.  "I'm sorry Coach, Linda."

"Amy, look at me."  She turned back to look at me.

"My husband was killed on 9/11.  I was talking to him on the
phone when he died.  What do you think I'd say to one of the men
who did that to him, to so many others, if he told me he was
sorry?"

Fred leaned close to Amy, whispered something very quiet in Amy's
ear.

Amy looked at me.  "Sorry doesn't cut it."

"No.  Nor does 'I'll promise I'll never do that again.'"

"Fred said to say, 'I learned something today.'"

"Have you?" Marybeth interjected.

"A lot."  Amy was sad, very sad.  "I want to be on the team,
coach.  What can I do?"

"Right now, Amy, you need to sit quietly and let me talk to
Fred," I told her.

Amy fought back tears, but I was mainly intent on Fred.

"Fred, I have to say, thinking about what you did makes my skin
crawl.  I want to take a shower."

"I promise I will never do anything like this again," Fred said.
"I understand I can't be on the team, I understand why.  Please,
I told Amy I was sorry; I realize that's not enough.  I want to
do things; I will.  I will do anything you want to make it right.
 I'll forget everything I heard."

"Did you and Amy talk to each other?  Personal things?  Family,
friends, clothes, music... that sort of thing?"

"Yes.  I...  Laura, please.  I hurt someone I care about.  I
didn't mean to."

"Fred, did you talk about your family?"

"I told her they'd never understand, they'd never approve of half
the things I want.  I meant it: I didn't care about them. 
Amy..."  She started sobbing.  "Oh Amy, please forgive me..."

I saw Amy start to speak, to reach for Fred.  "Amy, if you say a
word, if you move... you're off the team," I spoke quickly. 

Amy paled and then froze.

"Tell me Fred, what did Amy tell you about her family?"  The
blank stare spoke volumes.

"Oh, she didn't talk about them, did she?  Guess why not?  She
doesn't have one," my voice was rough, harsh.  "She's a foster
child.  Guess what else?  Amy is extraordinarily lucky, she has
foster parents who really care about her."  I waved at Amy.  "Do
you like your foster mom?"

It was pretty awful.  Amy just came totally unglued, crying and
weeping again.  I nodded to Marybeth, and she sat down next to
Amy, holding her, stroking her hair, whispering soft thoughts to
her.

"Pretty crappy, eh?" I told Fred, who was sitting staring at Amy,
her face pale.  "But, consider this: Amy's foster mother has two
kinds of cancer.  They think she's beaten one, but the other will
kill her in a year or two.  Consider also that the government has
decided that Amy has been with them long enough.  After school's
out, they're going to find a new set of parents for her.

"Fred, I'll tell you true, I don't know any state social workers,
but I'm as sure as I can be about one thing: none of them would
dream of saying they were sorry.  For what?  Doing their job?"

"Do you think you could ever make up to Amy for what you've
done?"

"No."  Abject surrender from Fred.  And about time.

"Tell me, Fred.  In a few months, Amy's going to be torn away
from people she loves.  What would you do?"

"I don't understand."

"You said you're not stupid.  What would you do to stop that?  To
help your friend?"

"Find some way to stop it."

I shook my head.  "When I was a school girl, we used to laugh at
silly things.  One question in particular I remember:  Can God
create a rock so big, he can't lift it?  It's easier for God to
do that, than for a bureaucrat to go against the rulebook.  It's
going to happen."

"We can think of something.  I know we can.  I will, I promise!"
She turned to Amy.  "I'll help, I promise!  Please, please!  Let
me try!"

"Amy, a couple of times you've wanted to say something to Fred
and I cut you off.  Tell her now."

"I forgive you," Amy said in tears.  "I forgive you."  Then the
two of them were hugging and crying.

I met Marybeth's eyes.  Very reluctantly, she nodded.

I was surprised; Linda picked it up first.  "You want to leave it
like this?"  She was stunned.

"Yes," I said evenly, filled with confidence.  "They're hugging
and kissing right now, but neither of them is stupid, they're
listening to every word we say.  Yes, we leave it at this.  Amy
has forgiven Fred; I'm not religious, but forgiveness is the
absolution of all sins.  Not a trivial thing.  On the other hand,
while I can be forgiving once, it won't happen again.  Ever."

Marybeth looked at Nancy.  "Normally, never.  With Laura," she
shook her head, "Gawd, you're good, woman!"

She looked around.  "The four of us; I can't imagine any of us
talking.  Amy and Fred?"  They were still crying and hugging each
other.  "I think, even less of a chance.  Gail."  Nancy smiled
wickedly.  "Laura said it: the absolution of sins.  Gail will
jump at the chance.  Okay."

"Fred knows too much!"  Linda spoke, a little pale.

"She knows what?"  Marybeth told her.  "Your daughter spent the
night with Nancy?  You spent the night with Laura's daughter? 
They know too much!  Let's off the security risks!"

"I wouldn't have much of a squad," Nancy added, "if we zap
everyone who knows too much.  As in none at all."

Marybeth was still patient.  "Linda, I'm a stickler for the
rules, you know that.  Fred has slept with one of the team; it
might be a while before she sleeps with someone else, but we've
made exceptions before, and those exceptions, some of them, have
never been with anyone else.  Relax.  Enjoy.  Go back to Susan."

Linda turned to Nancy, who simply looked back, without
expression.  "Whatever.  I'll talk to Gail."

I looked at Amy.  "Amy, would you go to my room and wait for
me?"

She nodded agreement and I gave her my room key and she left.

I looked at Fred; her expression was that of a condemned man
given a last second reprieve.

"I don't know what to say," Fred whispered.

"Amy has forgiven you," I told her.  "I'm still working on it."

"Anything.  I promise, anything at all!"

I shook my head.  "Fred, you're not stupid.  Right now, none of
us really trusts you.  Amy has said she forgives you; that'll do
for me, until I know different.  You know things, Fred.  Too many
things.

"I was fond of you, maybe too fond.  I don't think it would be a
good idea for you to try to capitalize on that.  I think Linda
made it clear what she thinks." 

"You don't want to know what I think," Nancy told her.  "But if
Amy forgives you, I'll give you another chance.  You do not ever,
ever want to make the smallest mistake."

Marybeth took the baton.  "You see Laura, there?"  Fred glanced
at me, then back to Marybeth.

"Laura is someone very special.  She took care of you; she saved
you.  You know that some of us make love to girls on the team. 
We don't push, Fred.  We never push.  If you push anyone ever
again, Fred; well, that's quits.  I'm not Amy; forgiveness isn't
part of who I am.  Just remember, Fred, none of us, not one of
us, except Laura, would have given you this chance.  And be
damned what you know."

I wasn't unhappy.  Fred lifted her chin.  "You'd have mushed me
like a bug."

"Think what you want, then try to remember I love our team, as
well as the individuals that make it up," Marybeth said.  "Now,
please return to your room.  You have things to do first thing in
the morning, you need to get some rest."

Fred left; a minute later Linda and Gail were back.

Nancy smiled at Gail.  "Thank you, Gail."

"No problem."

"Things happened," I said quietly, "You won't understand right
away.  Do you understand, Gail, that it might take a while to
understand?"

"She hurt Amy.  I stand by my teammates."

"Gail."  She looked at me when I said her name.  "One important
thing you need to think about.

"Fred did hurt Amy, none of us will tell you different.  But,
Gail, Amy forgave Fred.  She didn't forgive you."

"I'm sorry!" Gail said, "I didn't mean to!  I was wrong!  I won't
do it again!"

It was Nancy who shook her head.  "Gail, I have an assignment for
you.  A must do.  Get with Laura; pick an evening to go over to
Laura's.  You and she will talk, nothing more, for an hour. 
Sometime in the next week."

Nancy turned to me.  "I know how you feel about 'sorry.'  Please,
educate Gail."

I nodded.

"Gail," Marybeth spoke, and Gail turned to look.  "None of this
happened.  Amy wasn't upset; Fred wasn't upset.  You know nothing
about anything; you will tell absolutely no one about what you
saw or think you know.  We four know.  Amy and Fred know; you
know just a tiny smidge.  You understand if this ever comes back
to me, I'm going to look to you first?"

"Did something happen?" Gail asked, trying to look innocent.

"Nothing happened.  Now please, I know this is your room; I
understand you feel a certain way towards Amy.  Go to bed; stay
there.  Keep your mouth shut."

"Yes, Coach."

Nancy looked at Marybeth and me.  "Linda needs to walk the halls;
I'd like to see you two."

A few minutes later we were in Nancy's room.  What had Fred said?
 She thought we'd have something better than the rooms the rest
of them had?  We didn't, not even Nancy or Marybeth.  I filed
that away in the back of my mind.

"Laura, you were pretty awesome," Nancy told us.  "I don't agree
with what you did, but obviously, I'll support you."

"The flip side," Marybeth added, "is the downside.  And the flip
of that?  Upside.  I think Laura has gone a long way towards
salvaging two girls who, because they were stupid, were going to
throw away such a terrible lot."

"Stupidity isn't a capital crime," I said quietly.

Marybeth laughed.  "Too bad; there are a lot of stupid
politicians I'd love to exercise that kind of judgment against!"

I lifted an eyebrow and Marybeth laughed.

"Figured it out, didn't you."

"You told me about your professional relationship with your
husband."

"I don't understand," Nancy told us.

Marybeth shook her head.  "I was the boss.  I was the one who
stuck it to the Army sergeant.  I fired my own husband.  He was,
shall we say, upset about that.  But he crossed the line." 
Marybeth looked at me.  "So he had to prove his worth, skiing
backwards.  He managed to kill himself; all he proved was how
stupid he really was."

"I think we should be, ah, Caesar's wives for a while," Nancy
said.

"Okay," I replied quickly, without thinking.

"Okay," Marybeth confirmed, "at least until Monday."

"I was thinking a little longer," Nancy told her.  "Let things
settle down."

Marybeth bowed towards her.  "You're the coach.  A week."

"Horny one, aren't you?" I said, laughing.

"Jackie has been the apple of my eye since her sister brought her
to a practice when Jackie was in 7th grade."  Marybeth told me. 
"I've been patient before, I will be patient again."

"I sent Jamie back to her room," Nancy told us.  "I saw Susan
heading back, too.  I have a radical suggestion: we should go to
our rooms and try to get some sleep.  Except for Laura, of
course.  You have just a half hour."

I went back to my room, leaned down and kissed Amy on the hair. 
She didn't stir, so I undressed and then went and stood in the
shower, letting the water beat down on me.  Had I done the right
thing?  It was clear Marybeth thought I'd done okay.  I'd seen
how Amy looked at Fred; how she'd watched everyone else.

And Fred, poor dear Fred.  She had dreams; she was so intent on
her dreams, she'd lost sight of everything else, even common
humanity.  There was no doubt in my mind that Fred had looked
into an awful abyss and had been as repelled by what she'd seen
as anyone would be.  I don't know if I could find my humanity
again after doing something like that.  Fred looked like she just
might.

I told myself that I wasn't capable of such a thing, but horrid
things done by people from the abyss happen every day.  Maybe it
might not be such a stretch, either.  Gail; Gail who had made
love to me, who seduced me and opened up a world I'd never known
existed.  Gail had gone as close to the edge as you could go. 
And if Jackie and I hadn't intervened, it would have happened
again to Amy; no, please no, no, no, yes, please yes.  It has to
be their choice; it can't be any other way.

I had to watch for the edge of the abyss myself.  I liked making
love to Gail, Susan, Jamie, and Jackie.  I wanted to make love to
Carolyn, Amy and Fred.  In my mind, that wasn't over the line,
but it had to be close.  It wouldn't take much to go from someone
who wouldn't say no to a girl who came on to her, to someone who
wouldn't accept no when she came on to a girl.

Gail had been there; I was pretty sure Linda was there too. 
Nancy had her own hang-ups; she wasn't safe either.  Marybeth? 
She seemed to be the strongest.  That wasn't a surprise; she was
the strongest.

I shivered.  Jackie had turned from me and had gone to Marybeth;
from Marybeth to Nancy.  Marybeth turned from Jackie and went to
me and Nancy went to Jamie.  It was a dizzy soap opera, I
thought.  I still didn't see that it was wrong, but it was clear
you had to watch yourself or you could easily misstep.  And you
would fall a long, long ways.

I decided that I'd never stop reminding the girls how important
it is to watch yourself.

I wandered the halls, glad of their emptiness.  Nancy had
declared a holiday from relationships; personally I thought it
was unnecessary.  Obviously Marybeth thought so too.  In theory a
secret shared by seven people was no secret at all; this time
though, it would probably hold.  Too much of everything Marybeth
and Nancy had worked for stood at risk.  If it came out, even a
little, all of us would lose our easy access to the girls, much
more likely, everything would unravel.  And that unraveling would
be all of our lives.

Not this time, I thought, not this time.  I could give it up; I
could go back to life before.  Maybe take up with Marybeth.  That
brought a smile to my lips; I was sure that would shock my
in-laws, my uncles and aunts and cousins as much as anything. 
Laura Alban Hunt, in a homosexual relationship.  Funny how
something inconceivable a few weeks ago could come to pass.  That
I could cheerfully contemplate having sex with thirteen year old
girls and reject the idea of stopping nearly as fast as I thought
of it.

Sex is an addictive drug, and at least for now, I'm an addict.

Then Nancy was organizing the breakfast brigades; afterwards the
girls were back to their rooms to pack and get ready to check
out.  There would be another practice session at ten and then
they would be free to go.

I found myself outside Fred's room and saw Fred sitting on the
bed.  Her roommate smiled at me, as she dragged her suitcase
towards the door.

Fred looked at me; her face a frozen mask of shame.  "I still
can't believe I hurt Amy.  You.  Everyone."

"You shouldn't forget," I told her.  "But unless your dreams are
meaningless, it's like falling off a horse.  If you want to ride,
you have to get back on.  It hurts a lot, but dreams, Fred...
dreams are what put men on the moon.  They motivate us to work on
a cure for cancer and AIDS, motivate people to solve all the
problems of mankind.  You're a smart girl, Fred.  I don't know
what you might be capable of in the future, but it will be
something wonderful... if you can get back on the horse."

She got up, walked up to me and buried her head on my chest. 
Fred wasn't crying, but obviously the wounds were still deep and
painful.  "I sorry, Laura.  I hurt Amy terribly, but I think I
hurt you the most.  You wanted me to succeed; you did everything
you could to help me make my dreams come true.  I hurt Amy, you,
everyone.  Then it was you who reached out and saved me. 
Again."

I looked down at her and smiled.  "I have reasons on all sorts of
levels for wanting to help.  Noble reasons, reasons most people
wouldn't find noble at all.  More than anything else, though, I
think being a member of the team will be something that will
underpin the rest of your life.  So, personal reasons aside, I'm
glad I helped."

"You want to be with me."

"That will be entirely your choice, not soon, but one day.  Yes,
I helped you wanting that, but not with the expectation of that.
A dream, you see."

Fred smiled for the first time in a while.  A small, faint shadow
of the real thing, but a smile nonetheless.  "So, I want you to
go work with Amy this morning, like you did yesterday.  If you do
that, I think you will see that Amy did forgive you.  Then,
later, all of us can work on finding a way to help Amy, so that
something far worse than being tickled and being asked questions
she doesn't want to answer, doesn't happen to her."

"I will help, I'll do anything I can.  I promise!"

"Being Amy's friend would be a big help.  I don't think she's had
many real friends."

"I promise," she repeated firmly.  Quite determined.

I waved at the door.  "Time to get a move on, girl!"

I watched from a distance as they worked together later; I knew
Nancy and Marybeth were too.  Watching Amy work with Fred and
Susan, you'd never know that anything had happened.  They were
relaxed, having fun and it showed.

Then I spent time watching other girls, until finally found
myself next to Nancy.  "I have a suggestion for next time," I
told her.

"What?  I can always use some good ideas."

"The chaperones are supposed to be the final evaluation for the
girls trying out."  I shrugged, "There's too many girls, it's
impossible to keep track of them all."

"We practically have to take all who want to try out," Nancy told
me.  "Later we can pick and chose, but at this stage, we have to
deal with everyone."

"I know, I understand.  No, what I was thinking, was putting each
girl's picture on their badge, with their name.  Then print up a
roster with names and pictures for us.  It wouldn't be hard to do
with a digital camera and a computer."  I smiled at her.  "I've
noticed you have a great deal of skill with computers."

She laughed.  "Hard to believe that a dozen years ago I was a
hardcore computer nerd in high school.  Yes, that's a very good
idea.  A very good idea.  And better yet, hardly any cost."

We talked a bit more, then it was getting close to wrap up; then
there remained but Coach Nancy's final words to the girls.

"It's been a fun weekend; I know most of you trying out are dying
to find out if you're going to get invited to be on the team. 
Hopefully, you have read the materials you were given.

"Some of you will be invited to be on the team.  Most of you
won't be.  That's bad news for some and good news for a few. 
Still, it isn't as good as all that, nor as bad.

"This is an invitation.  It means those invited will get a better
shot than those who weren't, when we have tryouts in the fall,
when school starts back up.  There is always opportunity, young
ladies.  There is always opportunity.  You could have had had a
bad weekend; we all know PMS."  There were a few laughs, but not
many.  Yes we did.

"So, in the fall, another chance.  Just because you're invited,
doesn't mean you're on the team.  Just because you weren't,
doesn't mean you can't make it.  Monday, I'll put the letters in
the mail.  You can call my office starting Tuesday morning if you
just can't wait for the mailman.

"I want to thank you all for your time, for your commitment to
something that is important to me, to the rest of the team.  I
want to thank the school for giving us this opportunity, the
businesses that help, and above all the parents who volunteer. 
Thank you, young ladies, for what you've done."

Linda had arranged with a woman she knew to give Jamie and Susan
rides home; I thanked her, then I told Susan I'd be home in
another couple of hours.

The members of the current team stood in front of each other and
Nancy to give their reports on the girls they had worked with,
while Marybeth, Linda and I sat quietly and listened.

Finally it was the four of us, sitting in the conference room,
going over the names, and giving our observations to Nancy. 
Eating a lunch of Subway sandwiches, delivered from a local
shop.

Finally it was done, and Nancy leaned back and stretched.  "A
busier weekend than I expected.  More interesting than usual." 
She smiled at me.  "Scrubs, eh?"

"Yes.  I took a little time this morning to look through the
phone book."  I told her.  "I couldn't find a cheerleading school
in town."

"There are quite a few summer camps," Nancy told me, "But you're
right, I don't offhand know of a school."

"There are martial arts schools, gymnastics schools, ballet
schools, piano studios...  I think Scottsdale would be a good
venue for a cheerleading school."

"That's not a bad idea," Marybeth said, "And better yet:  unlike
south Phoenix, the parents here can afford to support it."

"There's that," I said with a laugh.  "Obviously I'd much rather
make money than spend it."

I turned back to Nancy.  "What I'm going to do, is spend between
now and August, getting things organized.  When you have tryouts
in the fall, I want to give out flyers or letters to anyone who
doesn't make the team."

"Give them out to everyone," Nancy told me.  "I know it may be
hard to believe, but some of these girls are obsessive about
achievement.  Some of them have parents even more obsessive than
the girls."

We all laughed.

"Thanks, to all of you.  And to you in particular, Laura.  Now,
you all go home, and get some rest.  As I am going to do.  I'll
deal with the letters tomorrow."

"You don't need any help?" I asked.

She laughed, "No Laura, not to worry, Susan did fine."  More
laughter.

Linda and I chatted about future plans, and then I drove home.

<1st attachment end>


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