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From: shakespeer2b@yahoo.com (Shakes Peer2B)
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NNTP-Posting-Date: Wed, 17 Dec 2003 18:29:05 +0000 (UTC)
Subject: {ASSM} (new)Tinky Gets a Promotion (F elf, humor?, toys, nosex)
Date: Wed, 17 Dec 2003 17:10:02 -0500
Path: assm.asstr-mirror.org!not-for-mail
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Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories
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________________________________
This is a story about a sexual FANTASY written for consenting adults.
If you're not both of those, don't read it.  Characters in a FANTASY
don't get sick or die unless I want them to. In real life, people who
don't use condoms and other safe-sex techniques do get sick and die.
You don't live in a FANTASY so be safe.  The fictional characters in
my stories are trained and experienced in acts of FANTASY - don't try
to do what they do - someone could get hurt.

If you think you know somebody who resembles any of the characters
here, congratulations, but you're wrong - any similarity between the
characters in this story and any real person is purely coincidental,
since all of these characters are figments of my dirty little
imagination.

This is my story, not yours. Don't sell it or put it on a pay site.
You can keep it and/or give it away with all of this information
intact, but if you make money off of it, you're breaking the law and
pissing me off.
_________________________________
Tinky Gets a Promotion (F elf, humor?, toys, nosex)
(C)Copyright 2003 - Shakes Peer2B
shakes_peer2b@NONOsbcglobal.net
(remove 'NONO' from the above address to contact me)

http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Shakes_Peer2B/
http://storiesonline.net/  (go to the Author's page under 'S')
________
In the far North, where Santa has his toy factory, there's not a lot
for the elves to do.  They run three shifts a day in the toy factory,
but there are plenty of elves for that.  Santa even gives them three
weeks vacation every year.  Since most of the world is populated by
humans, however, and everyone knows how humans treat those that are
different from themselves, most of the elves stay home for their
vacations.  What do you suppose they DO with all that free time? 
Well, why do you think the elf population has kept pace with the
growth of the toy factory?

____

"Where the heck is Dinky!" Raffle roared, coming perilously close to
using one of the proscribed four letter words, "I've got a lot of new
adult toys that need testing, and she's nowhere to be found!"

"She's in the stable with the reindeer again!" somebody hollered from
the back of the factory floor, "Pulling a train with Dasher, Dancer,
Prancer and Vixen!"

"What about Comet, Cupid, Donder and Blitzen?" somebody else piped up.

The original voice answered, "Oh, they're doing Rudolph!"

Another voice: "Always knew there was something different about that
boy!"

"All right!" Raffle roared again.  He was factory supervisor in large
part because his voice carried to even the most remote corners of
Santa's toy factory, "I don't need a 'blow-by-blow' account of her
doings! I just need to get these adult toys tested, and that's her
job!"

The whole factory cracked up at Raffle's unintentional pun, leaving
him scratching his beard in confusion. Then a tiny voice spoke up.

"I'll do it!" three foot two inch Tinky shouted from the children's
toy testing area, "I'm good at testing toys!"

"These are ADULT toys, Tinky!" Raffle lowered his roar to a loud
rumble.

"Children's toys, adult toys - toys are toys, Supervisor Raffle!"
Tinky answered, "What can be so difficult?"

A few snickers and titters answered from the door of the adult toy
section, but Raffle scratched his beard and said, "Well, you HAVE
always been conscientious in your work Tinky, and I'm in a bind, so
we'll give you a chance - on a strictly probationary basis mind you!"

The points of Tinky's ears glowed almost as bright as Rudolph's nose
in her happiness and she skipped down the aisle, her little tits
bouncing under the green lycra top she wore, to the mysterious adult
toy department.

Tinky had heard rumors, of course, but nothing prepared her for the
sights that greeted her as she stepped into the secret sanctum. One
whole assembly line was filled with multitudes of sports cars and
off-road vehicles. Another turned out motorcycles and ATV's. There
were shiny new mountain bikes and road bikes, power tools, and
computers.

Tinky's eyes sparkled as she beheld the wonders before her.
"OOOOHHHHH!" she cooed, "Which ones shall I test first?"

Raffle took her by the arm and started across the floor. "This is the
men's toy department!" he grumbled, "You're needed in the women's!"

Another door opened revealing a wonderland of mirrors and makeup,
sleek, shiny convertibles, wigs, clothing, and jewelry, but Raffle
didn't even pause.  He led Tinky to a pink door in one corner marked:
"TOP SECRET! Authorized Elves Only!"

Raffle pulled a large, ornate key from the folds of his clothing, and
stuck it in the keyhole. After muttering a few words under his breath,
he told Tinky: "Put your hand on the key and turn it!"

To her relief, the key turned easily, and the door opened a bit. 
Before she could push it the rest of the way open, Raffle stopped her
and handed her a card.

"Keep the key. You'll need it to get in to work each day." he mumbled,
"This is the rating system.  As each toy comes in through the 'In'
window, you test it, write it's rating on one of the rating cards,
note any defects, and pass it out the 'Out' window. Got it?"

Tinky scanned the rating card, "G, PG, PB, B, VB, XB...  How come
there's no 'VG or XG'?"

Raffle's eyes twinkled a bit as he replied, "Because 'Very good' and
'Extremely good' girls wouldn't play with THESE toys!"

Tinky looked puzzled, but nodded, not wanting to seem stupid on her
first day at her new job.  She walked into the room and the door
locked behind her.

To her astonishment, there was nothing but a bed and a bathroom, and a
small nightstand beside the bed, holding various tubes, tubs and jars.

A small sign over a short row of hooks admonished her to 'Hang
clothing here'.

A bit puzzled, Tinky removed her clothing, revealing quite a shapely
body for an Elf.

Since there's little else to do in the Far North, once Elves reach
puberty at about age six, they are very promiscuous, and have sex with
just about anyone or anything (Can you say: 'Bored out of their
skulls?' I knew you could!).  As a result, Tinky, though a little shy,
had no real trouble with the idea of working without her clothes.

When the first toy appeared in the 'In' window, Tinky, being all of
seven and a half, had little trouble figuring out what the little pink
shaft was for.  Elves passing the testing area soon heard buzzing.

"Oooooo! That feels nice!" came Tinky's tiny voice from within,
"verrry niCe!"

A short time later, Tinky, looking a little flushed, pushed the pink
vibrator through the 'Out' window. The card in the little plastic tub
with it was marked: 'G' for good girls.

A few minutes later, after a series of 'Oooh's and 'Aaaah's, a
somewhat larger vibrator emerged bearing the marking: 'PG' for pretty
good girls.

And so the first day of Tinky's new job went. All manner of plastic
vibrating and non-vibrating phalluses emerged, some bearing notes
about defects, all rated 'G' or 'PG'.

Fortunately, elves, being magical creatures they are, can stretch to
accomodate almost any size penetration. So it was on the second day,
as larger and larger toys came through, the ratings went from 'PG' to
'B' and the testing seemed to take longer and longer.

Wednesday's butt plugs, for the most part, emerged with 'B' and 'VB'
ratings, while Thursday's double dildoes and nipple clamps mostly
rated 'VB'.

On Friday, nothing emerged until late in the afternoon. Shrieks,
wails, moans, and groans assailed the ears of anyone passing by all
day. Finally, near the end of the shift, an exhausted Tinky feebly
passed a large, saddle-like device through the 'Out' window. Attached
to the saddle were two enormous phalluses that still pistoned,
vibrated and gyrated above the seat of the saddle. The rating card was
marked, in a shaky hand, 'XB' for Extremely Bad girls. There was also
a scribbled defect note attached saying: 'No OFF switch!'

The Elf at the 'Out' window said nothing. As the window closed,
however, he turned the churning device on its side and touched the
hidden 'Off' button at the bottom.  To the Elves gathered around the
closed circuit monitors, watching Tinky tiredly don her clothes, he
said: "Ok, boys! Show's over!"

"Ok, boss!" they said as they tucked themselves back into their
clothing, "Same time next week?"

"Same time!" Raffle said, "The boys have been working on something
really special for our new tester, so next week should be even
better!"

-- 
Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights
reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated.
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