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Subject: {ASSM} Treats from the Trickster, by Frank Downey (mf rom halloween)
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  Copyright 2003 Frank Downey. All rights reserved. Any use other than 
personal archiving requires the permission of the author. Do not repost.

This story contains adult material. If this is illegal where you reside 
or if you are underage where you reside, begone.



TREATS FROM THE TRICKSTER

by Frank Downey



--ONE--



It all started the year I was 14. I had a younger brother and sister who 
were 9 and 5, and Mom insisted on taking them trick-or-treating--mainly 
because of my sister. She didn't trust my brother to watch her, and she 
was only five.

That meant I was stuck passing out the candy, considering I had no other 
plans. There were parties going on, but I hadn't gotten invited. I had 
no social life at 14. I was pudgy and kind of shy and geeky. So, I 
passed out the candy. It wasn't so bad. A lot of the little kids had 
real cute costumes.

After about an hour and a half, the parade had started to thin out. 
Then, I answered a knock--and saw a kid, a sheet over his head with two 
eyeholes cut out, who was taller than me. "Trick or treat!" he chirped.

"Aren't you a little old for trick-or-treating?" I smirked.

"Well, yeah. So what?"

"Well, I only have a little candy left, and I need to save it for the 
little kids."

"I can see that," he said. "But, you know, I think I should get 
something for all this effort I put into this costume," he smirked.

"Oh, yeah?" I laughed. "Fine. What did you have in mind?"

"How about a kiss?"

"I don't even know who you are!" I cracked up laughing.

He pulled the sheet up over his head. It was Riley McConnell. "Hi, 
Denise," he said. I should have known. Riley McConnell was a complete 
nut, the funniest kid in school. Leave it to him to throw a sheet over 
his head and try to go trick or treating.

I'd known Riley a long time. I liked him. Everybody liked him. He was a 
likable guy and, as I said, just plain hilarious. He could get me 
laughing my lungs out in seconds.

"Hi, Riley. You nut," I giggled.

"Guilty as charged. Now that you know it's me, do I get my Halloween 
kiss, or do I just steal all your Snickers?"

"You can not have the Snickers!" I asserted. "Fine. OK. You get a kiss 
for trick or treat."

"OK, if I can't have the Snickers, I guess," he laughed. Then he leaned 
in towards me.

Hey, it was Riley. I'd known him since second grade. He was the class 
clown even back then. I expected an exaggerated lip-smack, or him 
kissing my nose, or something else silly. That's not what I got. He 
leaned down, put his hand down on my shoulder, and pressed his lips into 
mine.

I guess you never forget your first kiss, and this was mine. But, as I 
said, I didn't expect an actual kiss. I swear to God, I just about 
swooned. It was warm and sweet and delicious and made my hair stand on 
end. It didn't last thirty seconds but it felt like a lifetime. When he 
backed up, he was grinning at me--but it wasn't his usual "I'm having a 
joke on you" grin. For my part, all I could do was stand 
there--barely--and blink at him. "Thanks," he croaked, and off he went.

I went to bed that night and dreamed about Riley McConnell.

--TWO--

When we got back to school the next day--we were both in 9th grade--it was 
like it never happened. Riley didn't even acknowledge it--and if he 
didn't, I sure as hell wasn't going to. He was his usual self. When he 
talked to me, it was usually a joke. It was like the greatest thirty 
seconds of my life had never happened.

It was frustrating. I wanted him to acknowledge it. I wanted him to ask 
me out. I wanted him to kiss me again! Nothing. I got nothing. I 
shouldn't have been surprised. I was practically a nonentity around 
school, and Riley, because of his gift for jokes, was a minor celebrity. 
It was nothing to him. He'd probably kissed half the girls in school. 
Hell, he'd probably done more. Kids start earlier than 14, some of 
them--I knew a couple girls that weren't virgins. Riley probably had his 
pick. And, there I was, making a big deal out of a silly kiss.

And why hadn't I noticed before this how damn cute he was?

Anyhow, nothing else happened. I spent the rest of freshman year mooning 
over Riley McConnell, and he spent the rest of freshman year barely 
knowing I was alive.

Something happened to me that summer. Somehow, I grew. I got taller, 
which made me less pudgy. And I grew in, er, other places, too. Mom 
looked at me and muttered what mothers everywhere mutter: "You're 
growing up!" It took a few inches in height and a new C-cup bra for her 
to figure this out? Anyhow, I got a nice fringe benefit--a day at her 
favorite salon. My mousy, stringy hair actually looked human went I went 
back to school.

I got back to school, and, wonder of wonders, I got noticed. By boys, 
even. I guess it's true--it's all in the boobs. Well, not being a runt 
didn't hurt. 5'5" wasn't bad. And, though I'd never be model-skinny, at 
least I was proportional for a change. I felt good. That was new.

What wasn't new, much to my chagrin, was the boy who wasn't noticing 
me--Riley McConnell. Boys I didn't know were passing me by with an "I 
love your hair" or a "You look really good this year." From Riley, I got 
nothing.

And that was who I wanted to notice. I swear, I was obsessed. I actually 
got asked out, twice--that surely had never happened before--and by nice 
boys. But I turned them both down. Because neither was Riley. This is 
what's known as being a lovesick idiot.

I just couldn't get that kiss out of my mind, and didn't know what to do 
about it.

--THREE--

Then, with another Halloween around the corner, I overheard something. I 
was out of candy-dispensing duties this year--but, apparently, Riley 
wasn't. He was telling a buddy that he had to do just that this year.

I immediately thought of a plan, and quickly put it into action. So, 
Halloween night found me, dressed as a witch, heading the half-mile to 
Riley's house. I wiped the sweat off my palms as I nervously knocked on 
the door. He answered. "Trick or Treat!" I chirped.

"Aren't you a little old for this, little girl?" he asked.

"Funny, that's the same thing I said to you last year," I told him.

"Denise?" he laughed. "Is that you under that mask? Turning the tables 
on me, eh?"

"Yup. Got any Snickers?"

"Hershey bars. But none for you. Got to save `em for the younger kids, 
you know."

"Darn. And I really like Hershey bars. Well, you know, I did work hard 
on this costume."

"Yup, you bought it at Walgreen's," he laughed.

"Well, I had to buy it out of my allowance money. Do you know how many 
dishes I washed to buy this?"

"Too bad. No candy for you, little girl. Unless you have a better idea."

I pulled off the witch's mask, and grinned at him. "Well, you can always 
give me what I gave you last year."

He grinned widely. "Oh, I think I could handle that." He put his hand on 
my shoulder, just like last year, and leaned in to kiss me.

This one was better. How I kept standing up is completely beyond me, I 
was so weak in the knees. It lasted a good minute. My whole world 
stopped. And, when he broke the kiss, the look he gave me! I was never 
sure if the one last year affected him as it did me-- this one did. I 
was sure of it. The look on his face was shock. Finally, he regained his 
composure, grinned, said, "Happy Halloween," and retreated back behind 
his door.

I floated home.

--FOUR--

And, back in school--NOTHING! Again! It was so frustrating! In fact, this 
time, it was worse. After last year, he at least talked to me. This 
year, he seemed to be going out of his way to avoid me. I just didn't 
get it. He didn't even crack jokes to me. It was so depressing. Maybe I 
should've tried harder. Maybe I should've made the first move. But I was 
pretty incapable of that at the time.

Anyhow, time went on, and there was a big event looming. Our school had 
a big Christmas dance, every year, a couple weeks before Christmas 
itself. I wanted to go. One guess as to who I wanted to ask me. Yeah, 
like that was going to happen. A mere week before the thing, a guy I 
knew named Jay Billings asked me. Tired of waiting for Riley, I said 
yes. Jay was a nice guy and I thought I'd have a good time.

I was right, in a way. Jay was nice and an excellent dancer, so, without 
the distractions, I would've had a good time.

Distractions? Well, the first one was seeing Riley walk in--with Donna 
Bellagi! Donna was the Queen of the School, and made sure all the rest 
of us lesser mortals knew it. And she was walking into the dance with my 
guy! It made me sick.

What made me sicker was a conversation I happened to have with Charlie 
Tills, Riley's best friend. I was grabbing a glass of punch and Charlie 
was there.

"Hey, Denise. How's it going? Having a good time? I see you're here with 
Jay."

"Hi, Charlie. Yeah, Jay's a fun date."

"That's good. I was kind of surprised, though. I thought for sure I'd 
see you come in with Riley."

"Excuse me?" I sputtered.

"Yeah. All he kept talking about for the past month was how he was going 
to ask you. Then I don't hear a thing about it. Then I see him here with 
Donna--and she asked him. Did you shoot him down?"

"Charlie, he never asked!"

"He didn't? I don't get it. It seemed to me he was nuts about you." He 
saw something on my face. "Shit. You're crazy about him, too, aren't you?"

"He would not have gotten shot down if he'd asked me, I'll promise you 
that much."

"Shit." Charlie grinned at me. "He told me about the little kissing 
scene on Halloween. He said last year it was kind of a joke, but this 
year--well, it rocked his world. He thought you were so gutsy to do that, 
and the kiss was a heart-stopper. Riley doesn't talk like that much, you 
know. I don't get why he didn't ask you."

"I don't get it either," I sighed.

"Maybe he thought you wouldn't say yes."

"Maybe. He didn't get that from me. And he's been avoiding me since 
Halloween."

"Ah. Cold feet," Charlie said. Then he grinned at me. "Don't worry. I'll 
sort this out. You guys'll hook up."

Good old Charlie. I could've kissed him.

--FIVE--

Alas, it was not to be. I don't know if Charlie ever said anything or 
not. What I do know is that, starting at that Christmas dance, Donna got 
her hooks into Riley and didn't intend to let go. They did the whole 
lovey-dovey thing from the night of the dance until Christmas break. 
After Christmas break, they were still doing it.

That's when I gave up. I felt a lot better about myself than I had, but 
there's no way I could compete with Donna. I missed my chance. Riley had 
apparently liked me, but I missed my chance. Damn.

It was painful, but I couldn't go on wishing for something that was 
never going to be. I dated Jay for a while. He was nice, but it just 
didn't click. And he didn't kiss half as well as Riley. I dated a few 
other boys that year--nothing special. My Dad, who lived 1000 miles away 
with my grandparents, invited me to go spend the summer with him. I 
didn't see Dad enough, so I accepted, after twisting my Mother's arm to 
get her to agree. It was a good choice. I love Dad, and my grandparents, 
and I had a good time.

I even met a boy there, Sean. What amazed me is that *I* initiated it. I 
don't know what got into me, it must have been that I knew I was only 
there for two months and figured what the hell. I walked down the street 
where my Dad lived and there he was, watering his lawn. I walked right 
up to him and introduced myself. He did the same, and then I told him I 
was staying with my Dad for the summer. And then I added, "But Dad 
didn't tell me there was a really cute boy right down the street." He 
blushed bright red--then asked me out, just like that! Wow--It was *that* 
easy? Did wonders for my confidence, that's for sure. We went out the 
whole summer. He was very sweet, kissed almost as good as Riley, and was 
given the honor of being the first boy allowed up my shirt. That was 
very nice. It didn't go farther than that--but, hey, we both knew from 
the start that this was a summer fling.

I got back to town a week before school started. I gradually realized I 
was going to have to go back to the Riley and Donna show again. Even 
with my increased confidence, I really wasn't looking forward to that.

However, over the first week of school, I noticed something--there wasn't 
any Donna, not with Riley. I never saw them together. And Riley was 
moping around school like his dog had gotten run over, or something. 
Riley McConnell? Moping? Something was seriously wrong.

I decided to find out what. It was still nice enough to eat outside in 
the courtyard--and that's where I found Riley. By himself in the corner. 
Moping. I screwed on every bit of self-confidence I had--which, when it 
came to Riley, still wasn't much--and marched over to him.

"Howdy, Goofball. How's tricks?"

"Hi, Denise," he said with a weak little smile. "Everything's fine."

"What's the latest?" That was code with Riley. If you asked him that, 
you always got a joke.

"Sorry, Dee, ain't got nothing for you today."

I reached up and put my hand on his forehead. "Are you ill? No jokes 
from Riley, I think I'm gonna faint!"

"Not in the mood, I guess," he said with a pathetic grin.

"Riley. What happened?" He just looked at me. "Come on, Riley, you need 
to get it off your chest."

"Maybe you're right. I haven't told anyone." He took a breath. "Donna 
dumped me about a month ago. Apparently she was cheating on me the whole 
time we were going out."

"That fucking bitch," I blurted out. "Oops, `scuse my language."

"That's OK," he laughed. "You're right. Too bad I didn't see it. Denise, 
she was my first, OK? And her parting shot to me was that she was 
sleeping with other guys because I couldn't satisfy her."

"Oh JESUS, Riley! No wonder the joke machine got cut off. You must feel 
like shit."

"Yeah."

"Riley? Don't. She's not worth it."

"I know, I know......I was deluding myself."

"That doesn't make it hurt less, I know. But you'll get past it." I 
grinned at him. "You just need some new joke books."

"I might just try that," he grinned--a genuine Riley grin. "You seem to 
understand very well what I went through with her."

"More than you know," I said. He looked at me. "And no, I'm not telling 
you why. Not yet, anyhow. It's personal and kind of painful."

"That's fine," he said. Then he hugged me! "Thanks, Denise. It helped a 
lot."

"You're welcome," I managed to get out.

---SIX---

After that, we ate lunch almost every day--and Riley steadily became more 
and more Riley. Damn, that boy made me laugh. I can't tell jokes like 
Riley, but I have a good sense of humor. And Riley's humor could get 
`out there,' and a lot of people didn't get it. I got it. He told me 
once that I was one of the few that did.

I decided I was just going to be part of his life. I was going to be his 
lunch partner--and see what happened. About a month went by, and that's 
what I was. Except, gradually, he'd find me before school to talk, or 
after school. He started walking me to my after-lunch class every day. 
He'd walk into one of the two classes we shared together and drop a 
Riley bon mot on my head, making me giggle at the teacher.

This went on for about a month. Then, one day in mid-October, we were 
walking together from lunch to our classes. We were discussing my 
appreciation for his wackiness. Then, he said, "You know, that's one 
thing I never got about Donna."

"What's that?"

"She went out with me, I think, because I was popular. But I'm popular 
because I'm funny. And she didn't get my jokes."

"She only recognized that you were popular, she didn't care why," I 
pointed out. "I think she thinks popularity is a birthright or something."

"Too true," he laughed.

"So, tell me, what was the attraction for you? Besides her boobs," I 
snickered.

"It wasn't the boobs," he grinned right back. Then he got serious. "She 
pursued me, you know. Maybe that was a lot of the attraction. Jesus, I'd 
never had anyone that wanted me that much."

Now, if that wasn't the opening of all time, I didn't know what was. The 
question was, was I going to take it? Did I have a choice? Well, if I 
was, it had to be now, because we were almost at my classroom. Time to 
screw on that newfound self-confidence, girl. So, I stopped, turned to 
him, and said it.

"Riley, that's where you're wrong." He looked at me. "There's someone 
that's wanted you very badly for two years, someone that's plain crazy 
about you, and has been ever since you kissed her on her porch on 
Halloween. It's just that she's been too damn shy to tell you. Until 
now." And then I turned and went into class.

When I went to sit in my seat, I had to turn towards the door to do so. 
He was still standing there--with his jaw hitting the floor! Then the 
bell rang and he ran off towards his class.

The problem was, I forgot--Riley and I never saw each other after lunch. 
The classes we had together were in the morning. I wouldn't see him 
until the next day. That's a long time to hold my breath!

And, I didn't see him the next morning, either--I blew into school just 
in time. In our classes, he didn't say anything, though he did give me a 
smile in both. So, I was waiting for lunch. I beat him there, and, since 
it was still nice enough to eat outside, that's where I headed, to our 
usual corner. After a minute or two, here he came--thank goodness--heading 
right for me wearing one of those crooked Riley grins that made my heart 
go pitter-pat. He sat down next to me, grinned, and immediately launched 
into a bunch of slightly rude limericks. I was laughing so hard I 
couldn't eat.

He kept it up through most of lunch. I was howling. Then, all of a 
sudden, he said, "Hey. You know Karen Reuschel is having a party 
Halloween night, right?"

"Yeah," I said.

"Would you like to go with me?"

YEE-HAH!!! "Yes, I'd like that very much," I said.

"Good," he grinned. "We seem to have this long-standing tradition of a 
Halloween kiss. Wouldn't want to break it or anything." No siree! Lunch 
was almost over, so we got up to start walking to class. Then he said, 
"You know, that party's over two weeks away. Would you like to go to the 
movies Friday night?"

"Yes," I said, trying very hard not to grin like a damn idiot.

"Good," he smiled. We got to my class. "We can talk later about what 
time and all."

"OK," I smiled, and he walked away. I drifted into class. Class? Was I 
in class? Was there a teacher talking? What was he saying? I did not 
know and I did not care.

HE ASKED ME OUT! WHOOPEEEEEEEE!!!!!

--SEVEN--

We went to the movies that Friday--a comedy, of course--and had a 
wonderful time. When he dropped me off, he said, "So, do I have to wait 
until Halloween to ask you for a kiss?" Well, what do you think I said? 
It was wonderful.

He asked me to go out to dinner the next Friday. I of course accepted. I 
had a little bit of worry when he showed up, though. You see, when he'd 
come to get me the previous week, my mother wasn't around. This time, 
she was.

To say that my mother is hard on men would be an understatement. I 
understood the kick in the male ego that Donna gave to Riley because I 
saw my mother give it to my father, repeatedly. That's why my father 
left. My younger sister--well, Mom got pregnant with her while she was 
still married, but she's not my Dad's kid. And I remember a screaming 
fight shortly before Dad left when Mom told Dad he was lousy in bed. I 
didn't really understand it then--I was, like, 9--but I understand it now. 
She's dated since Dad left and they don't stick around long. She just 
treats men like shit. I don't know why she just doesn't go lesbian and 
be done with it. Hell, I worry about how she's going to treat my brother 
now that he's hitting puberty.

And, she wasn't all that particularly nice to Jay when I was dating him 
last year. So, yeah, I worried about how she was going to treat Riley. 
And, when the doorbell rang, I was still brushing my teeth. Mom, of 
course, ran to answer it. I could hear the conversation from the 
bathroom at the top of the stairs.

"So," Mom started in, "what makes you think you're good enough for my 
daughter?"

Oh Jesus. Poor Riley. I tried to brush my teeth as fast as I could. But 
then I heard Riley say, with a laugh, "I'm probably not good enough. But 
she thinks I am, so I figured I'd give it a shot. She likes me a lot, 
you know. The feeling's mutual."

"Why would she like you?" Mom sneered. "You don't look like anything 
special." Damn her! Brush brush brush. Was my breath clean yet?!?!?

Then I heard Riley answer, "I make her laugh."

"Aren't you the class cut-up?" Mom asked. "So don't you make everyone 
laugh?"

"No," I heard Riley answer. "Everyone else--well, they laugh half the 
time and scratch their heads in bafflement the other half of the time. 
Denise laughs all the time. She's on my wavelength--which is a miracle."

Thank goodness I came downstairs just then, before Mom could come up 
with another smart remark. "Hi, Riley," I grinned. "Can you go wait in 
your car for a minute? I'll be right out."

"OK," he said, shrugging his shoulders. "Nice to meet you, ma'am," he 
said to my mother, being politer than he needed to be. Then he headed out.

I do not stand up to my mother. I know better. This time, however, it 
was called for. After Riley left, I turned to her, and said, "Listen to 
me. That is the nicest boy in school--and his last girlfriend kicked him 
in the balls just like you did to Dad. If I ever hear you talking to him 
like that again, I'll never speak to you as long as I live. Understand me?"

"DENISE!" she started.

"Don't `Denise' me," I interrupted. "Riley is my guest in my house, and 
you treated him like shit. It was rude and uncalled for. Keep your 
man-hating bitchiness away from my dates." With that, I went out the door.

We had a good time, and Riley kept me laughing, but I was upset, and he 
knew it. After we ate, we went for a drive. I told him everything.

"Cripes," he said when I was finished, "are you sure there wasn't a 
mixup at the hospital?"

"What do you mean?"

"It sounds like she should be Donna's mother, not yours," he cracked. I 
broke up.

"Good point."

"How did you get so sweet?" he asked. He thought I was sweet? Awwww.

"My Dad's influence, I guess. I'm old enough to remember living with 
him, and I see him every so often. Spent all summer with him, in fact."

"He must be cool," Riley said. I nodded.

"Look, I'm sorry about my mother. You didn't deserve that," I told him.

"Well, I guess winning over your mother's going to be about as easy as 
shoving a basketball through a garden hose, so I'm not even going to 
worry about it. As long as you like me, who cares?"

"I'm surprised you didn't start in with the wisecracks."

"I was trying to be polite," he grinned.

"Next time, stick with the wisecracks!"

We got home, he kissed my ever-loving brains out, and then I went in. 
Mom was, no big surprise, waiting for me. She started right in. To my 
surprise, I gave it right back. Fighting with my mother is a no-win 
proposition--I must really like Riley. Like I hadn't figured that out, 
already. Finally, I got away from her and went to bed.

--EIGHT--

She was actually better the next day, much to my shock. That was good, 
though, I had other things to worry about. Like this Halloween party 
barely a week away. I needed a costume.

Riley had asked about a set of `couples' costumes. I put the kibosh on 
that. If we'd done a pair of costumes, I would've thought of, you know, 
Fred and Ginger. Romeo and Juliet. Antony and Cleopatra. And I know 
Riley would've been thinking Abbott and Costello. And, since I'm 
shorter, I'd be the one being stuck as Costello. In a padded suit.

No, thanks. I wanted to knock his socks off--Lou Costello wasn't going to 
do it. So, I told him, let's do separate costumes. And let's surprise 
each other. He agreed.

I had an idea. I didn't know if I could pull it off, but I was 
determined to give it a shot. So, that Saturday, 6 days before the 
party, I went to the mall and bought all the necessary accoutrements. I 
ran home from school Friday, Halloween, the night of the party, and got 
ready.

Lessee--skintight low-cut black minidress? Check. Long black wig? Check. 
Fishnets and stiletto heels? Check. Black nail polish? Check. Push-up 
bra? Big check!

Yup, I was attempting Elvira. And I think I almost actually pulled it 
off. Push-up bras are a miracle! I got ready just before I heard the 
doorbell ring. Now if I could only navigate the stairs in the stilettos!

I headed down, and peered around the corner before I came into view. 
Riley was dressed as Groucho Marx. Of course he was. I shoulda guessed. 
He was chatting--almost friendly--with my Mom, when I came around the 
corner into view. They heard me, looked up, and both jaws dropped.

I really didn't care what Mom had to say, frankly, but seeing Riley 
slack-jawed with his eyes bugging out was a beautiful thing. The effort 
it took for him to pull his eyes away from my cleavage and to my face 
was a wonder to behold.

By the time I had gotten to the bottom of the stairs, he had 
recovered--mostly. Recovered enough, anyhow, to launch into Groucho. He 
waggled his (fake) eyebrows and his (prop) cigar and grinned, "Say the 
secret woid and you win a hunnert dollahs."

I looked right into his eyes, grinned, and said, "Boobs."

After almost swallowing his tongue, he grinned back and said, "Good guess."

"Yeah, right. So where's my hundred bucks?"

"Will you take it in kisses?"

"Nope. Candy only."

"You drive a hard bargain, Elvira."

"You betcha." I turned to my Mom--who was still goggling--and said, "See 
ya." We headed out.

The party, I must say, was great. It's amazing what a little cleavage 
can do. Donna was there with some empty-headed musclebound type. She was 
dressed as a princess--talk about typecasting--and was not at all happy 
that I was getting all the attention. Especially with Riley clinging to 
my side.

At one point, we had found a seat, and Riley went off to check out the 
refreshments. He came back with some cokes and stuff, and then said, "I 
have a surprise for you." He held out a Hershey bar. I wasn't kidding 
about loving Hershey bars. I am a true chocoholic.

I grinned at him and said, "You sweetie. Hand it over." But, no, he had 
other plans. He shook his head, unwrapped it, and held it out to 
me--still in his hand. I nibbled it right to his fingers. Then I licked 
his fingers. Oh my GOD. Who knew Hershey bars could be so fun? After 
that little display, we sat there for minutes grinning at each other 
like idiots. Then he kissed me, right in front of everyone else--and it 
wasn't no peck on the cheek, either.

Of course, that was just a preview of the kiss I got when he dropped me 
off. Is it possible to cum from just a kiss? I came damn close. By the 
time I got to my room and got the Elvira garb off, I think it took me 
about six seconds of rubbing myself before I exploded--thinking of Riley 
the whole time.

--NINE--

That's how it all started. It took a couple weeks until he asked me to 
go out with him. You know, be his girlfriend, be exclusive, whatever you 
want to call it. Of course, Riley being Riley, he didn't call it any of 
that--he asked me if I wanted to make this into a "thing." It took me a 
trip through the Land of Riley to establish that a "thing" meant "be his 
girlfriend." So, I eagerly agreed to a "thing."

Only with Riley McConnell does a girl get to be part of a "thing".

So, that's when I was fully immersed into the World of Riley. It was a 
very strange place. Knowing a person at school, that's one thing. 
Spending whole piles of personal time with him was another thing 
entirely. Only then did I get the Full Riley.

For instance: we were walking through the mall a few weeks before 
Christmas, and there was a Walgreen's in the mall. They had one of those 
one-hour photo places, and one of the services they were offering right 
then was Christmas cards. They could make them from a photo, or from one 
of those memory cards in digital cameras. Riley saw that, and uttered 
the four scariest words that can come out of Riley's mouth: "I have an 
idea!"

Uh-oh. He dragged me out of the mall, and sped to his house. He ran in 
and emerged with a bag of stuff, plus his digital camera. Then we sped 
to my house.

We got there, and Mom was there. "Do either of you have a dress like 
this?" he said, and then described it. I didn't, but Mom did, and I 
could fit into her clothes. We went and got it. Then Riley asked about 
pearls. Mom had some, so I put them on. Then Riley went and got into his 
get up. I almost died laughing.

He had us pose, and Mom took the picture. We took it down to the 
Walgreen's, and had it printed up. We were going to pass them out to all 
of our friends that week in school.

The dress he had me get into was a old-fashioned long light blue thing, 
with the pearls. He was wearing a smoking jacket of all things, with a 
shirt and tie, and holding a pipe. He had us pose with him standing, 
arms crossed, looking insufferably smug; and me standing next to him, 
hands on his shoulders, looking at him adoringly. The caption on the 
card read, "Merry Christmas, from Riley and Denise Cleaver." It was 
hilarious.

That's what finally broke the ice with my Mom. She'd been surprisingly 
cordial to Riley, but that card made her laugh so hard she peed her 
pants. That's when she started treating him like her daughter's 
boyfriend, and not as Evil Male Thing that she was barely tolerating. It 
was nice.

That's what Life with Riley was like. I loved every minute of it.

We went to the Christmas dance again, this time together. We'd never 
discussed last years' dance, until that day. We were dancing, and he 
looked down at me--seriously, for once--and said, "Now maybe I can stop 
kicking myself for not asking you to this last year."

"Why didn't you?" I asked him.

"Sheer terror. I didn't think you'd go."

"Purposely showing up at your house on Halloween and returning your kiss 
didn't give you a hint?"

He grinned. "It probably should have. I just thought that you were as 
much of a goofball as I am. Which you are, but I didn't get the rest of 
it. I was scared to death to ask you. Then, Donna asked me. What a mistake."

"Hey, it's a double mistake--I could've asked you, too."

"At least we fixed it this year," he grinned.

On Christmas Eve, after swapping presents, he told me that he loved me. 
In between jokes, of course. I told him that I loved him, too. He kissed 
me--and then started back up with the jokes. Who else can make a girl 
swoon and giggle in almost the same breath? Damn, did I adore this guy!

--TEN--

Of course, things in the World of Riley didn't always run so smoothly. 
The problem was sex.

Wasn't my problem, mind you. Yes, I was an inexperienced blushing virgin 
yadda yadda yadda--but only because I was waiting for the right guy. I 
certainly wasn't prudish--my endless masturbation sessions crying out 
"Riley!" when I came should dispel *that* notion. Now I had the right 
guy. Unfortunately, said right guy had some scar tissue. Damn Donna.

We'd first dated in October, started our "thing" in November, and 
professed undying love in December. And it took until Valentine's day 
for him to take me parking! And, even when parking, his hands never 
strayed from safe areas. Until the end of March, when he finally decided 
to try to put his hand up my shirt. I loved every minute of it. But it 
never went any further. He was a dream kisser, and his hand on my boobs 
was real fine, but nothing else was happening.

Until May 10th, which was my 17th birthday. I decided to give myself a 
birthday present. We went parking, we were in the back seat. He did the 
fondle-the-bare-titties thing, and, while he was doing that, I went for 
the pants. His. Before he knew what was happening, I had Little Riley 
out and my hands on it.

"Dee?" he gasped.

"Hmm. So that's what one of these looks like," I giggled. "I've never 
done this before."

"You haven't?" he blurted.

"Are you questioning my honor, sir?" I giggled.

"No," he managed.

"Good." I moved my hand up and down it. It was fun. I had absolutely no 
idea what I was doing, but Riley seemed to be enjoying himself. 
Actually, that's an understatement. The look on his face was rapturous. 
Hell, watching him was making me wet. Well, wetter.

I'd never seen a guy squirt before, much less have him squirt all over 
my hand. He let out this deep moan and then it happened. It was great, 
if a bit messy. Luckily I had some handy napkins hanging around. I'm not 
quite sure that this is the reason why McDonald's gives you napkins, but 
they worked.

After he regained coherence, he looked up at me. I was sitting on the 
seat, grinning at him. He launched himself at me and started kissing me, 
nice and hard--and his hand slipped down to the belt on my pants. Who 
says guys can't read minds? As he tugged on my pants--and as I eagerly 
helped--I felt like singing the Halleluiah Chorus.

Before I could get through a Halleluiah, I had two fingers inside me and 
his other hand circling my clittie. I wasn't medically a virgin--my own 
fingers had taken care of that long ago--so he was able to get nice and 
deep. And, frankly, I have no idea what Donna's problem was, because I 
came so hard I saw stars.

And, yes, I made sure to tell him. "My God, Riley, that was stupendous!" 
He grinned at me. Well, it was. If telling him so helped mend the 
damaged male ego, so much the better.

Shortly after that, we moved on to oral. Yes, I gave Riley my very first 
blowjob. (Found out later it was his, too--Donna didn't `do that'. Her 
loss!) I liked it. Swallowing his spunk took a little getting used 
to--the texture's a bit strange--but get used to it I did. After a while I 
liked it. And I definitely liked all those strange otherworldly groans 
he let out every time I did it!

And, yes, he eagerly reciprocated. It didn't take me long to find out 
that Riley's tongue is good at something other than telling jokes. Good? 
He was fantastic. That tongue of his turned me into a cummin' machine!

Things proceeded at this pace throughout the summer. We spent a whole 
lot of time that summer naked and happy. Well, in between doing things 
like Riley marching in the town's Fourth of July parade--dressed as the 
Statue of Liberty! Only Riley. They even chose him to recite the 
Declaration of Independence at the post-parade festivities on the Town 
Common. I shook my head when I heard about that. I mean, this was Riley. 
Didn't they know they were just daring him to recite it in pig latin, or 
in his Rodney Dangerfield imitation, or something? To my utter shock, he 
recited it straight. Well, almost. Straight until the end, when he added 
the line "Let's Rock and Roll!" Well, it cracked me up. Somehow, the 
members of the Town Council seemed less than amused. They didn't know 
how easy they got off!

Anyhow, in between that, we spent a lot of the summer parking, with 
hands and lips and tongues all over the place. However, as summer 
dragged on, I still had a problem--that lingering virginity thing. Riley 
was happy to play the everything-but game, but I was looking for Tab A 
to find its way into Slot B. Boy was I ready. Riley didn't make a move 
in that direction. I think he figured that if he had found ways to 
satisfy me--and was I satisfied--that things were better left alone. Those 
damn Donna scars again. As summer turned into fall--Senior Year, yay!--it 
became increasingly clear to me that if we were going to make love, I 
was going to have to be the one to push it.

--ELEVEN--

Well, it just made sense, didn't it? Halloween. It was perfect. And 
things fell right into place--Halloween was on a Saturday. It just so 
happens that Mom picked that weekend to pack the other two kids off and 
go see my Grandmother, Mom's Mom, a hundred miles away. She asked if I 
wanted to come. I reminded her that Halloween was a special day for 
Riley and I, and she graciously agreed to let me stay home alone. I 
think she might have figured out what I had planned.

Anyhow, Karen Reuschel had a party again this year. We were going to go 
to that--and afterwards, I was going to bring him back here. So, I needed 
a costume. Riley wanted to go couples again, but I refused again. It 
wouldn't do for Lou Costello to be trying to seduce Bud Abbott. I wanted 
to out-Elvira myself.

Britney Spears, that's what I decided on. From the first video. Yeah, 
the schoolgirl one. The short little skirt, the under-the-boobs shirt--I 
even dyed my hair blonde. When Riley showed up, I was all ready.

And what did my loving, wonderful, completely insane boyfriend choose to 
dress up as? A giant pumpkin! He could barely get through the front 
door! Only Riley. But the jaw did drop right to the floor when he saw 
the Britney get up.

So, off we went--Britney and the Pumpkin. He asked me to drive--evidently 
driving in a big pumpkin costume's a little difficult, big surprise--and 
we got there just as things were getting in gear. Everyone gawked at my 
costume, laughed at Riley's, and Karen said she should've had a contest 
for "Most Unlikely Couple Based On Costumes." We would've been a shoo-in.

We had a good time, we got back to my house, and I invited him in. Since 
I didn't think I could seduce a pumpkin, I told him to stay downstairs 
and get out of the get-up. I went upstairs, told him I had to do a 
little preparation, and said I'd call him up when I'm done. And the 
pumpkin had better be off!

When I was ready, and called him up--sans pumpkin, thank goodness--he 
found me wearing a trenchcoat.

"Switching from Britney to Barretta?" he cracked.

"Nope. I have another costume just for you," I told him. I peeled off 
the trenchcoat, revealing what I was wearing underneath--nothing. "I call 
it Horny Naked Girlfriend."

"I think I like it," he grinned.

"But there's a problem," I said, walking up to him, and starting to undo 
the buttons on his shirt. "It's really Horny Naked Virgin Girlfriend--and 
the virgin part needs to go away."

"What?" he hissed.

"Riley, it's the third anniversary of the day I realized I was in love 
with you. It's the first anniversary, give or take a couple weeks, of 
our first date. It's Halloween--our day. We have an empty house. We've 
waited long enough. Make love to me."

I think he panicked for about a second--but that's all. Quickly he 
started helping me take his clothes off. "I don't have anything, 
though," he said.

"I went on the pill this summer. You're slow, Riley," I laughed.

He laughed back, got the rest of his clothes off, and then threw me on 
the bed and just mauled me. Hand, and lips and tongues were everywhere, 
and he gave me a very nice cum with his tongue. Then he was kneeling 
between my legs.

Even without a hymen, I expected pain. I didn't get any. It was a little 
uncomfortable and strange at first, but it didn't hurt. He got all the 
way in, right to the bottom, and I looked up at him and hissed "Oh my GOD!"

He grinned at me, then stared moving, in and out, slowly and gently. It 
was fantastic. I'm one of those guttural-moan-type-gals, and I was 
guttural-moaning up a storm. And, when I came--which didn't take long at 
all--he had to practically hold me down on the bed. My hips went nuts. He 
wasn't going to get by that, of course, and he quickly came into me. I 
could feel it pulse deep within me. It was beautiful.

He rolled off me, and pulled me towards him, cuddling. I sighed, and 
said, "Oh, Riley, that was exquisite. I can't believe how wonderful that 
was. I think you fucked my brains right out onto the pillow."

That's when he broke down. He hugged me so tight into him he was 
practically crushing me, and I could feel him shake a little, and I 
heard the muffled sobs. Look, very few people knew the deep feeling he 
hid behind the constant quips. I did, and had for some time, but this 
was the ultimate. He settled down, and then said, "God, Dee, I love you 
so much. I can't believe how lucky I am to have you."

"Feelings mutual, honey," I said.

He grinned at me for a minute. Then he started in on a series of really 
rude limericks. Thank goodness!

--TWELVE--

That opened the floodgates, I tell you that. With Riley's male ego fully 
repaired, his sex drive asserted itself. I didn't mind at all, believe 
me--because mine was going off the charts. We still had the same wacky, 
wonderful relationship--we just had more sex. Lots of sex. Lots of 
wonderful sex. Almost as much sex as jokes. Almost!

After much discussion, we decided to go to college together. We found 
one we both liked, and we both got in. Then we enjoyed the rest of 
senior year. Went to the prom, all that. We both had summer jobs, but 
we'd meet up after we got out of work and go out. Go out and then go 
have sex, of course.

Luckily, when we got to college, we both had cool roommates. Finding 
time together wasn't a problem. And Riley quickly established himself 
there as he had back in high school--as the school cut-up. Everybody 
liked him. He fit right in, and so did I.

And, yes, they have Halloween parties in college. Our first year, I gave 
in--and finally agreed to do the Matching Costumes thing. Abbott and 
Costello? Not quite.

No, the Blues Brothers. Of course. I got to be Jake, as predicted, the 
shorter one in the padded suit. Everybody thought they were great.

And I really didn't mind. Because I knew, underneath Jake Blues, I had, 
all ready for Riley, the Horny Naked Girlfriend costume.

And I knew that'd get me my Halloween kiss. Plus a few other things!

--THE END--

-- 
Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights
reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated.
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