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From: El Sol <munster@eden.rutgers.edu>
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Subject: {ASSM} "Not fantasy, or reality just a story" by ElSol {1/1}{MF, Anal}
Date: Mon, 13 Oct 2003 18:10:06 -0400
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<1st attachment, "meganedit.txt" begin>
Not fantasy, or reality just a story
by ElSol
Author's note: I believe a good story breeds another story. This
one's lineage goes back to Ice Phoenix's "Cure for Writer's Block". After
reading his story I knew I would have to write one using a similar plot
device. (Edited 10/13/03 by Author)
-----
Dedicated to Megan.
-----
I looked forward to her emails.
Her first had been a curious questing for connection with a
character that struck a chord. I hope I am not the only internet writer
that looks for the feminine usernames. I imagine the fingers they type a
quick note to me are moist with their release.
The women rarely sign their name.
Megan did.
Some emails say 'good story', 'fantastic', or even 'you really
turned me on'. Others ask an impossible question.
Did it really happen?
I believe in the Crossroads, Scratch, the Devil's woman but my
fingers break no strings. Dacia is real; I never stalked her. I like
female bodybuilders; they WOULD kick my ass though. I never made love on a
bus.
I had never made love.
Megan asked how much of David was me. She hid the question but
what she really wanted to find was in her words.
Stereotypical Mexican men do not dominate amazonian blondes with
enough curves to test an Indy driver. The women I write about do not look
at me; except maybe to look down at me.
I told her how much of David I wanted to be.
Megan's emails had laughter, as if behind a username she could be
how she saw herself.
She asked more questions.
I asked questions. It was not something I did; questions when
someone emailed me. I told them when the next chapter was coming out, what
my next story was going to be, or thanked them for compliments. I did not
do a Google search on their username and service to find more of their
words among trillions. I found the voice and laughter she hid from people
that could touch her face, but the words lacked mischief. I thought maybe
she saved that for me.
I knew what time she usually sent email, midnight, so I sat at my
machine fifteen minutes before and after waiting. I came to hate when the
graduate students or faculty took our half-hour away from me.
I worked at the Graduate and Faculty Computer Lab at my
university. If I had four hours of work in any non-payroll day, it was
because I did absolutely nothing the day before. I graduated college in
three years by taking full course loads during summer semesters and had
collected two masters degrees, Fine Arts and Computer Science. The masters
were not something I planned, but not taking advantage of free tuition
seemed silly. I was trying to decide between the MBA program or a
doctorate when I received the first of Megan's emails.
People's email about my stories filled some of work's boredom and
replying was certainly more entertaining than trying to teach a professor
how to put their lecture notes online. I guess she did not expect so
florid an email back, our first time.
I did not think about meeting Megan, even during the half-hour I
waited for her email. She said she had a boyfriend but was
'anti-monogamy'. In the same email, she admitted the 'anti' was in word
only so far. She also told me she was shy, and no matter how vivid her
emails became I believed it. Somewhere along the line, email made it safe
to be honest and to believe we both were. She wrote me her fantasies and
found out how many of mine she had read.
I wrote a story about her desires; bondage, force and
freaky-looking beasties. I crossed a line, and Megan asked to see me. I
was glad that particular email came before a day off.
I could think about it.
I could dream about it.
I was not the kind of man a woman traveled five hundred miles to
meet.
I emailed no.
It was a week before I heard from her. I thought whatever it had
been was over.
There were two words to her reply.
"Why not?"
I had prepared my response.
"I like being your fantasy."
For the first time in my life, a woman pursued.
"I'd like to live the fantasy."
Her words set me back, but they were not unexpected.
"A fantasy is a thought Megan, not a person."
"You think meeting me would destroy your fantasy, Miguel?"
It was unfair and true.
"When you think about me, is it David you imagine pulling your
hair when you orgasm, Megan?"
"You're David, Miguel. You're Jason and I hope you're Michael
too."
I was none of my characters, but in the first person I could not
avoid being all of them.
"What about your boyfriend?"
"The best sex we have is after I read any of your stories."
"That doesn't answer the question."
"I've always been anti-monogamy."
"In word only."
"Sometimes a word has to be lived, Miguel. I want to live some of
yours."
I did not like the instant messenger services. I preferred to hear
my conversations. The email messages went back and forth for an hour and
half. I liked having the time that writing my answers gave me.
"Okay."
"Really?"
"How do we do this?"
"I was thinking of living a fantasy in a fantasy."
"I don't understand?"
"Strangers in a hotel room."
"We're not strangers, Megan."
"It's not like we've met."
No, Megan and I had never met.
I agreed to a Saturday two weeks from that night. I thought the
extra time was a good idea, in case she changed her mind. Her emails
became funnier, more mischievous and more intimately heated as our
Saturday drew closer. I asked time and again if she was sure this was what
she wanted.
She was adamant.
-----
My car was parked in front of the hotel room; I was thinking about
leaving. The only word she spoke when she called was the room number.
I reached to start the car when the room door opened.
The light above the door framed her.
She was short.
Long, dark auburn hair with the right amount of curl.
She was wearing a black leather trenchcoat and like fantasy she
opened it; black demi-cup bra, matching panties, garters, stockings,
heels. The curves of a short woman, athletic when active rounder if life
interfered with fun, displayed the lingerie to perfection. She put her
hands as high as she could on either side of the door frame.
Her chin went up in challenge.
She knew I was in the car.
The challenge set my jaw like I wrote that David's did when he was
angry. The challenge was not enough for her; her hands dropped to her
sides and the coat pooled at her feet. She turned and strutted with her
ass and hips swaying into the room.
I was out of the car and slamming the door hard before I knew I
had moved. I stopped and closed my eyes; I took a deep breath feeling
almost high on her.
I reminded myself of the words I had written; the thick line
between fantasy and reality is not knowing what was ONLY her fantasy. I
walked into the room and closed the door. I turned and leaned a shoulder
against it.
I looked at Megan.
She was sitting on the bed with one leg folded underneath her; the
other was tapping the floor nervously. She had dark brown eyes, almost
black, that swam in pools of shy mischief.
She almost cracked under the silence.
I felt it; her decision to stop. I walked up to her and leaned
down to take her lips with mine.
It was the fantasy of me. I kissed Megan to possess; hard,
commanding contact with an immediate invasion of her mouth with my tongue.
She moaned and her arms came up to pull me closer. I put a knee on
the bed and pushed her back with my weight. I rested my weight on top of
her pinning her to the bed. I let her lips go and looked at her.
Her eyes were even darker in passion; I smiled at the dusting of
freckles she lamented.
I could feel her heartbeat in my body. Her pulse was the
counterpoint of my excitement.
She had told me about the underwear as soon as she bought it. My
hands moved of their own volition to her hips.
To untie the panties at the sides.
She raised her hips so I could remove the panel of cloth.
I did not think about what happened next.
I had kissed her lips and wanted to taste her. I moved down her
body resisting the temptation to touch anywhere else with my lips. I
pushed her legs up with a hard grip on her inner thighs and touched her
pussy with my tongue.
She was wet and I drank her moisture. I opened her lips with my
tongue and sucked in her clit. She pushed herself against me for more. I
wanted to give her more; I wanted her to scream.
I tongued her pussy from bottom to clit and then did it again.
And again.
And again.
I took her clit back into my mouth and while suckling it, tickled
it with the tip of my tongue.
She tried to hold it in.
It was a brief struggle between us. I used quick flickers of my
tongue across her clit to convince her to fly. They were not enough so I
flattened my tongue on her core. I applied pressure and rubbed my tongue
on her up and down. Her thighs tensed in my hand so I tightened my grip. I
added more downward pressure with my tongue and rubbed faster.
She let release escape her body and gave it to me as a gift. I
savored every moment of it and begged her body for more with my mouth. She
tried to push me away when I did not stop. I wrapped my arms around her
thighs to hold her in place.
She did scream when I made pleasure continue to crash through her.
She stopped fighting me and struggled against the pleasure. She was trying
to protect herself; I had taken over her thoughts with words and now her
mind was opening under the physical onslaught.
I stood up between her legs. She opened her eyes to stare at me.
She watched as I took my clothes off. She brought her legs up when I was
naked; she wanted it as much as I did. I put my hands under her knees and
pushed down to open her. She reached for me but I knelt down and licked
her again. She grabbed my hair and tried to pull me up. We wrestled for a
second; my tongue on her clit and her grip on my hair. She won our first
argument by nearly ripping my hair out at the roots when I scraped my
teeth gently along the top and bottom of her clit.
I did not go quietly into defeat and scraped my skin on her pussy
as she pulled me up. We did not need to assist our joining. I was pointing
at her; craving her. As she pulled me up, the tip of my dick touched her
moisture. I sank into her until our pubic hairs curled around each others.
We fit.
I rested all of my weight on her hips. Her pussy did not squeeze
me; I did not feel pressure moving up and down in waves. I did not feel
anything that I had ever written about sex.
Megan and I just fit.
I could not believe I was still in control.
I felt the need to cum, but it was not overwhelming. I was hard
inside her; I could feel her body hugging me tightly. I pulled her by her
thighs so that her hips were almost off the bed. I pushed down on her legs
and pulled my hips back.
I took all of Megan that my body could claim in a hard stroke. She
arched her back and pushed herself against me trying to give more of
herself.
I pulled back until I was out of her body. I wanted to feel it
again. I pushed into her and her body welcomed me. I had written about
long and powerful strokes. I wanted to be that fantasy but all I could
manage was pulling back until my crown was being hugged by her pussylips
and re-taking her.
Even that did not last long enough.
Her eyes widened in surprise as my thickening and the feel of my
heat inside took her over the top also. Her body tried to push me out as
she came. I had to bear down to stay where I wanted to be. My orgasm
lasted longer than any I ever had but it was unbelievingly incomplete.
I wanted more of Megan.
I lay my upper body on top of her and we kissed as we spiraled
down gently.
The running shower woke me up. I looked around the room and smiled
to myself. I had not slept much the night before and I was glad the noise
had woken me up. I got out of the bed and walked into the bathroom. She
had not closed the shower curtain. She smiled at me when I stopped to
admire her. I was surprised that there was a bathtub instead of just a
shower.
I walked into the tub and the shower stream.
I stepped up to her so we could share a wet kiss.
She let me explore her body with my hands and lips. The soap went
unused, as she made do with my tongue and water. I sat down on the edge of
the tub and settled her in my lap. I placed her legs outside of mine so
that when I spread my knees she flowered. She put a hand on the wall to
balance herself and leaned back against me.
She did not try to hold in the noise of pleasure. I toyed with her
pussylips first; light touches as my fingers learned their texture. I
backed off and played with the silk of her pubic hair. I put both of my
hands on her sides and traveled up her body. I cupped her breasts on the
way to learning the feel of her nipples. I let my hands argue about which
one would stay and which would return.
My right hand slipped down her tummy to her clit. It was a long,
wet session and I thought she was ready for it to continue elsewhere. I
put my middle finger on her clit and moved it in small, slow circles. She
circled her hips to hint she wanted me to stimulate her faster.
I did exactly what she wanted.
A minute later she grabbed my wrist and pulled my hand away from
her as her orgasm began. I almost laughed knowing she was trying to avoid
my continuing to give her friction even as her orgasm faded. I settled for
kissing her shoulders and back as she wrapped my arms around her torso and
enjoyed the aftereffects of her orgasm.
She spun out of my grasp and the tub when my fingers rubbed the
underside of her breast lightly. She smiled at me and shook her head
playfully. She turned, twitched her hips and strutted out of the bathroom.
I had a feeling she had practiced the strut in front of her mirror before
asking to meet.
I turned the heat of the water up. I set the warmth of the water
against the heat Megan caused in me.
It was no contest.
I stepped out of the shower and dried myself in front of the
mirror. I looked at the towel and smiled. I folded it in half and wrapped
it around my hips. I looked at myself in the mirror. She had told me about
her thing for guys in skirts. I did not get it but the towel almost looked
like a skirt to me.
I stood leaning against the frame of the bathroom door. She was
lying on the bed. Her fingers were playing along her skin. She was humming
tunelessly while looking towards the window. Before I could move to her
side, she turned her head.
She smiled at me and moved sensuously off the bed.
She crawled to me.
My chest tightened at the sight.
She came up on her knees in front of me. She stared into my eyes
drowning me in the brown of hers. She watched me as she extended her
tongue and licked the water I had missed from my belly.
I had explored her body and she did the same to mine.
She ran her tongue along the path of skin above the towel. I tried
to grab the wall as her hands ran up my thighs and under the towel. I made
my stance wider. She held my testicles gently to massage them as her teeth
touched my sides.
She trailed fingernails down the back of my thighs as she nibbled
the skin on my stomach. I tried to climb the walls when I felt her hands
on my dick. She stroked me while painting lines of saliva across my belly.
She flattened her hands on my stomach and moved them downwards.
She stripped the towel from me slowly but trapped it against the wall and
door frame. She stretched out her hands extending the towel along the
wall. The position brought her closer to me so that my hard dick ran along
her cheek. I watched her inhale deeply; I only smelled of hotel soap but
it seemed enough for her. She licked me lengthwise and touched the tip of
my dick with her teeth. She winked at me as she applied pressure. Before
it turned painful she opened her mouth and took the head of my dick inside
her. I felt her tongue moving underneath the crown. She pushed her mouth
on me taking me as deeply as she could manage.
I felt the towel fall to my feet.
She wrapped her fingers around the base of my dick. She pulled her
face away from me and pushed my dick up. She studied my ballsack. She
leaned closer to me and applied her tongue to my testicles. She gave me
long strokes with her hand while testing my will with short tongue
strokes. She ran the nails of her other hand on my thigh again. She
switched hands on my dick and ran her nails on my other thigh. She took a
testicle in her mouth and concentrated her hand on just the head of my
dick.
I was dying.
She crawled backwards away from me before I could grab her hair.
She smiled sexy mischief and kept going until her back touched the bed.
Her hands slipped underneath. She had been in the room before me so I was
not surprised when she pulled something out.
Her other hand came out fisted.
She stood up and walked to me. She leaned against me for a kiss
that I was happy to give and receive. She wriggled against me rubbing me
with her stomach.
She took a step back and held out her left hand.
I took the item and looked at it. I was holding it by the bar.
There were long leather cuffs at either end with string ties to finish the
circle. I recognized it from one of my stories. I had told her what site I
found them on when I did the research.
She waited for me to look at her. She put her hands behind her
back so her elbows were tight on her body. She knelt down in front of me,
turned, rested her ass on her ankles and feet, and dropped her head to her
knees.
It was a classic pose of submission but not one in any of my
stories. I looked at her for a long time waiting for my heart to stop
racing so fast.
I knelt behind her and moved forward so that my dick touched her
pussylips. I leaned back to get the right alignment. I moved forward again
so that my dickhead was inside her pussy. I stroked myself in and out of
her, not taking any more than what I already had.
I stopped before I had to drive myself inside her.
I put one of the forearms cuffs on her right arm. There were four
ties per cuff so that it would fit snugly. I lay the bar on her spine and
tied the other forearm cuff to her. I moved my hands to run my fingers on
her sides as she tested her bonds.
Her struggles increased when I grabbed the bar and pulled her up
with it. I pushed her forward with my grip until I had enough space to
drive myself inside her. I had been hardened to my maximum by bonding her
and her pussy whetted my need. She had tied her hair into a ponytail when
she came out of the bathroom so I wrapped it in my fist. I pulled her
upper body up by the bar and her hair so that her ass was completely on my
groin as I leaned back. I pushed up with my hips possessing all of Megan
again.
She struggled against the bondage, against the penetration,
against the rising tide of pleasure. I did not move and let her drive
herself where she wanted.
She sighed and relaxed when the wave hit. I felt her body coat me
with her desire and tried to push in deeper. She arched her back like a
bow with its string pulled back tightly and rode out the crests by
grinding her ass against me.
I pushed her off me by her hair and the cuff bar. I stood up and
moved my hands upward until she had to get on her toes. It was a reminder
of her situation so that her excitement would not continue its post-orgasm
slide.
I led her to the edge of the bed and spun her around. I kissed her
hard and she melted against me. I put my hands on her shoulders and pushed
down. She flowed to her knees and looked up at me.
I looked down at the vision of Megan.
She opened her mouth and stuck her tongue out a little bit. I
wrapped her ponytail in my fist again to control the strokes. I put my
foot on the bed so I could angle my hips better. I moved my hips so that
the tip of my dick touched her tongue. She treated me to a light nip with
her teeth before opening her mouth again to me.
She offered herself as my pleasure.
I stroked into her mouth slowly. She moved her tongue underneath
me, caressing as I entered her. I kept moving forward until I felt her
reaction to the depth. I rested there and she relaxed. Her cheeks hollowed
as she applied suction to my dick. I pulled my hips back just as slowly as
I had penetrated her.
I wanted to move fast; I wanted to fuck her face but what I was
doing was too close to perfect. I watched myself stroke in and out of her
mouth. I pulled out of her completely and pulled her face closer to me.
She smiled and licked my testicles again.
She nibbled the skin between them. I leaned my head back and
closed my eyes. She took each testicle in her mouth and caressed it with
her tongue. She bathed the entire area while her excited breath haunted
me. I looked down at her as she licked the underside of my dick until her
tongue was touching the opening at the tip. Her eyes were open and looking
towards me but they were unfocused. She took me into her mouth and sucked
the head of my dick.
I LOST IT!
She must have felt it because she let me out of her mouth. I
reached down, grabbed the bar between the cuffs and tightened my grip on
her hair. I spun her around and lifted her until she was completely off
her feet. She let out an exhalation of fear and would have been pained by
having her weight held off the ground by the cuffs and her hair if I had
held her there long. The taste of the fear and the surge of adrenaline was
enough for me though.
I threw her onto her stomach on the bed. I only gave her the
slightest bit more momentum than dropping her would have but she let out
another exhalation of excitement-laced fear. I grabbed her asscheeks in
tight grips and spread them. Her pussy was dewed with anticipation. I
powered into her. I pulled back with my handholds on her ass until I had
taken every bit of depth in Megan's body. I pulled back and fucked into
her as hard as I could to make sure of it.
I let go of her ass and grabbed her waist above her hips. I was so
hard that I did not feel like blood engorged flesh; it felt like my cock
was not even a part of me.
I used my hands to pull her into me as I fucked Megan. I put my
foot on the bed so that I could really work my hips against her. I felt
her pussy but only as a part of my dick. It felt like there was no
separation between her body and mine. I powered in/out of her with no
control until her orgasm tried to push me out of her body. I ignored her
body's attempt but slowed down to longer, more purposeful strokes. The
feeling of her wetness had given me an inch of control back. My head
dropped back as the strokes gained power. I felt longer and thicker than I
had ever been in my life.
I wanted to fuck Megan for the rest of the night exactly like I
was doing. I grabbed the cuff bar and her hair again. I pulled on them to
make her feel the bonds.
I used long, hard strokes that pulled me back so that my dickhead
was barely inside of her.
I fucked Megan with long, hard strokes that pushed me inside of
her, giving her all of myself.
She fought the hold on my hair when her orgasm began. She put her
forehead on the bed regardless of the pain in her scalp and arched her
hips back into me. I was as deep as I could go but she wanted deeper.
I was wrong.
She wanted me to stop.
She came and her pussy squeezed me in a vice-like grip. I pushed
my hips against her hoping I could give even my balls the feel of her
pleasure feeding me sensation.
I could barely move while she came so I rested against her ass.
She moved one of her hands to get my attention. It had been fisted the
entire time.
She opened the hand.
A Vaseline tube rested in her palm.
It was out of a story.
I took my hands off her and picked the tube up. It was small,
definitely not enough but it would make my fantasy possible. I felt like I
was not in my body when I opened the tube. I was even farther away when I
placed the tip of the tube against her anus and squeezed it empty.
I came back to my body as I pushed my middle finger inside her.
She wriggled her ass on my finger and I pulled it out. I looked at her
back and removed my dick from her pussy. The cool air on me felt good but
not as good as the warmth of her. I grabbed myself and moved it up a
couple of inches so that I was touching her anus with the tip of my dick.
I was so hard I did not need to hold myself as I penetrated her.
She groaned in discomfort but did not protest. I forged into her after the
thickest part of my dickhead passed her anal ring. I spread her asscheeks
with my hands and stopped halfway into her. My hands gripped her as hard
as I could and I continued my motion into her. I felt my pubic hairs
flattened by her body.
I pulled back a couple of inches and pushed back into her. I
pulled back farther and gave myself to the forward motion.
I was close to an orgasm but I wanted to enjoy the moment. I
wanted to be able to close my eyes on my death bed and remember what it
felt like to be inside Megan's ass. I focused on untying the forearm cuffs
to give myself time; removing them relaxed the need to pump into her.
I tossed the cuffs aside. She stretched her arms to her sides for
a second and then put her hands on her ass. She spread her own cheeks but
not to get me deeper. She ran her nails on her skin until she could touch
my legs. I grabbed her wrists and she brought her hands up her body.
She pulled me down and placed my arms so that she could rest her
face on my forearms. I was leaning on her with almost all of my weight.
She moved her ass underneath me.
I pushed on her ass with my hips, relaxed and pushed against her
again. I did not stroke to finish our union. I pushed against her, and
relaxed. She opened my hands and kissed my palms.
I put my forehead against her and sighed. I sped up the pressure
and release of my hips. Not fast enough to be uncomfortable though; she
squeezed her asscheeks together and took me over the edge.
Cleaning up required another shower but it was less playful than
the first. We kissed and washed each other but the kissing was the
important part, maintaining a connection between us. She pulled me out of
the shower and guided me to the bed. She lay down on her side and drew my
arm around her waist. I spooned into her back and listened as her
breathing steadied into sleep.
I do not know what time it was when we moved against each other
again. Her fingers were stroking me. I opened my eyes and could barely see
hers in the darkness. Her smile was unmistakable though. She leaned
forward to kiss me.
I was hard in her hand.
I crawled on top of her slowly. The way she kissed was
mesmerizing. She opened her legs to welcome me between them. We did not
have to do anything to connect. Her legs moved up my body as I settled
into her.
Her pussy around me took the ache of desire away. She wrapped her
arms around my torso and squeezed me. We kissed the entire time that we
moved together. There were no strokes instead our bodies danced to a
rhythm we would not have heard if we were not joined. We moved against
each other as if there was no goal.
I could not tell our orgasms apart.
The maid's knocking woke me up in the morning; I looked around but
knew I was alone in the room.
-----
Monday night, I sat at my desk, long before the half-hour, waiting
for her email. I even thought of getting an IM identity so our
conversation could be more immediate.
"Did you like her?" was not what I was expecting.
"Did I like who?"
"The woman you had sex with on Saturday night."
I got up from my desk and walked outside. I felt the nauseousness
of a migraine headache.
"It wasn't you?"
I hoped it was a joke, a bad one, but I prayed it was a joke.
"It wasn't in word only, Miguel."
I hated her.
I would not admit why I could.
"Who was she, Megan?"
"A friend."
"I need to know more than she was a friend!"
"She's been going out with her boyfriend for a year. He cheated on
her; she wants to forgive him."
"I was her forgiveness?"
"That's not the way it worked out."
I walked back outside. The nausea had passed but I wanted to kick
my monitor. I wanted to break everything in my office, go home, and break
everything there too.
"When did you know you weren't going to come, Megan?"
I thought I had the right to know.
"When you said okay."
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"I wanted to but I didn't. My friend knew about us and said the
fantasy could live."
I stared at the words until another email message arrived from
her.
"I'm sorry, Miguel. I just couldn't."
Certain details in my reading have always stuck. I opened the
email folder where I saved everything Megan sent me. I even knew which
message I wanted.
{block}
> Describe yourself?
Long, auburn, curly hair; short; freckled... I put
on weight really easily- I get muscley if I stay
active, pudgy if I don't...Big dark-dark-brown eyes.
{/block}
"Okay." I emailed her.
I pushed my chair away from the desk, tilted my head back, and
looked at the lights.
I laughed uncontrollably. I had to if I wanted to convince myself
the tears in my eyes were from laughter.
I write erotica because I hate rejection letters.
The End
<1st attachment end>
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