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From: Cindylover1969@aol.com (CindyLover)
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NNTP-Posting-Date: Mon, 13 Oct 2003 03:04:30 +0000 (UTC)
Subject: {ASSM} ...Make Me Feel So Damned Unpretty: Something Wicca This Way Comes (Jennifer Garner/Sydney Bristow, Jessica Alba/Max, Eliza Dushku/Faith, Kim Possible, Daphne Blake, Phoebe Halliwell, Piper Halliwell, the girls from 'Totally Spies', Sarah Michelle Ge
Date: Mon, 13 Oct 2003 17:10:06 -0400
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Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories
Followup-To: alt.sex.stories.d

The contents of this tale are fictional. The real
people as presented in this story are not intended to
be portrayed as they are in real life. The fictional
characters used are the properties of Bad Robot,
Disney Enterprises, Hanna-Barbera Cartoons, Kuzui
Enterprises, Marathon Animation, Mutant Enemy Inc,
Sandollar Television, Spelling Television, TF1,
Touchstone Television and Twentieth Century Fox Film
Corporation, and are used here purely for fantasy
purposes. The content isn't meant for under-18s; this was first published on CSSA.

* * * * * * * * * *

It had been a year since the Manticore escapees had
made Terminal City their home. Today was the
anniversary of what some had called Freak Nation, but
what Max called home. Or the place she HAD called
home, until half an hour ago.

As she tore through the Seattle streets towards the
city borders, away from all she had known, all she
could think of was her final meeting with Logan... and
the day had started so well. She had gotten some good
news; at last a cure for the virus that was keeping
her and him apart was being put together. Now it
wasn't IF she could ever be with him again, but WHEN.
Knowing that she had a reason to keep going got her
through the day, and as she drew up her motorcycle
outside Logan's place, she knew it would keep her
going until that happy day arrived.

"Hey there, Lone Ranger," Max beamed as she slinked
into his room. "Another hard day of saving the
world..."

Her voice tailed off. Logan was there, all right; but
he was in the shower. But his bed was occupied by a
woman about Max's age, with black hair and Amerasian
features, and wearing nothing but an evil grin.

"Brin?!"

"He thought I was dead too," Brin sniggered.

"What the fuck are you - "

"Let's just say I can give him something you can't,"
she interrupted. "I've been giving it to him for a
while as well... I sneaked back into Seattle not long
after you chained me up, disposed of Asha and helped
him get over it. And you." Brin grinned at Max again.

"Well, when I tell him what I've got to say he's never
gonna stick himself inside your traitorous cunt
again," Max replied. "LOGAN! I've got some big news
for..."

Brin was up in a flash and threw Max to the floor...

...and Howard shook his head, scanning through the
rest of Will's story. Brin beat up Max, Logan arrived,
the two of them explained to Max that they were
through, and Brin lived happily ever after with Logan,
leaving Max to flee to Canada. The end.

"Let's face it, Brin was the real star of the show,"
Will had added in the attached letter.

"Yeah, and the Hilton Sisters have huge tits," Howard
said to himself, prior to deleting it.

* * * * * * * * * *

"Why are you calling me Sydney?" she asked. "I'm
Jennifer."

"Don't play with me," Scott told her, still clutching
her hair. "I didn't think it was true either at first,
but just then it clinched it for me."

"Just then...?"

"I know how Jennifer gives head; she's had a lot of
experience. I know her technique... and you're not
her. Not that I didn't like it," he admitted, "but
you're not her. Plus there's the whole business with
my dick."

Sydney looked at it. It was still toony, but towards
the end of the shaft it started to turn normal again.
"Your point is?"

"If you really were Jennifer, you wouldn't have left
it alone like that."

"But I didn't - "

"I meant you behaved like it was normal," Scott
pointed out.

"Well, it IS normal where I come from..." Sydney
tailed off, realising that she had just crossed the
line.

"So Weatherly was right," Scott said slowly. "He rang
me up before I went out and got smashed... told me
that Jessica Alba was behaving a bit too much like she
was still playing Max for his liking. He joked that
she thought she was Max - well, I thought he was
joking. But then Jenny disappears and comes back, and
after Jessie went and came back..."

Sydney shook her head in sorrow and got off the bed.
"If I told you what was going on - "

" - I wouldn't believe you? Hell, try me."

Sydney thought for a moment, and then nodded. "Do you
have the Disney Channel?"

"Yeah, we like 'Lizzie McGuire.' But I haven't got
time for cartoons, Bristow," Scott replied, amazed at
how quickly he'd gotten used to talking to his wife's
fictional alter ego.

"I think you'll have time for this one," she
countered, going over to the TV set and switching it
on. While she searched for the channel, Scott slapped
his erection to get it to go down and leave his mind
alone; whether Sydney Bristow or Jennifer Garner, a
toned and sexy butt was still a toned and sexy butt.

* * * * * * * * * *

Tracy Ryan and Max faced each other on their hands and
knees, their faces glowing with delight. Behind Tracy,
the director was thrust his meat in and out of her; he
was bellowing her name out loud as he stuck himself as
far up her box as he could. Always stiff on seeing
her, he was almost crying with joy on being inside her
tight cunt; Tracy was playing with his prick by
squeezing her pussy around it, making it harder for
him to go all the way in or out. Not that he minded
staying inside her - not since that glorious night
with Michelle Branch had he so enjoyed being inside a
woman. In fact, it was almost as good as his usual
choice of bedmate - maybe he really was bi instead of
just experimenting with women...

Tracy needed her hands on the ground to keep from
falling over, but she could still kiss Max, whose
sublime body was jacking back and forth with the
thrusts from Faith's arms. Max was getting opened in
both doors; Faith had her right arm pushed deep inside
the transgenic's flawless ass, and her left hand was
working its way into her plump, hot pussy. The Slayer
had done this with Kennedy once upon a time (and
rumour had it that Willow had gone to another world
when Kennedy tried it one night - the student outdoing
the teacher?), and she had loved it; but Max was
gasping like a locomotive, feeling Faith twirling her
fingers inside the cramped space of her snatch and
making her beg for orgasms. Max screamed in joy as
Faith's right fist slowly moved back and forth in and
out of her bunghole - bigger than any cock she had
ever had, she felt as if she wouldn't be able to walk
for a week after this.

But if she had Tracy's soft lips on hers, she could
take the bedrest. Max placed her tongue inside Tracy's
mouth, and the two kissed repeatedly as their lovers
ground away behind them...

"How is that possible?" Jessica Alba asked, transfixed
by the sight of Eliza Dushku - she had to keep telling
herself it was FAITH - cornholing her (she still
couldn't believe it was Max there; first season Max,
happily, but still Max). "And does that kid know?"

"Not yet," Tara replied. "He doesn't know the power he
holds as a Fan. That's a Fan with a capital F."

"I kind of guessed that."

"Actually, if he had chosen to write about someone
else, things could have been different," Daphne
continued. "It all depends on how much influence the
Creators exert; because Rockne didn't have as much to
do with 'Farscape' as David Kemper did, if he'd done
stories about Aeryn Sun and Chiana getting it on we'd
be seeing Claudia Black and Gigi Edgeley together. Or
if he was a fan of Nigella Lawson and 'Star Trek,' he
could have gotten her and Kirk together."

Jessica might have thought that sounded mad even a
couple of hours ago. 

"Same thing with you," the redhead continued. "Now
that your show's been cancelled, the control over what
happens to the characters isn't in the hands of
Cameron and Eglee - it's in the hands of people like
Howard here."

"He's a longtime writer of fan fiction," Tara chipped
in. "He's been doing it since around the age of 7;
nothing much at first, but he got better - and the
more he wrote, the more power he got in this world.
He's experienced enough so that he's one of the Fans
who actually wields influence around here. I'm sure
you know that a lot of fans write their own stories."

"Tell me about it," Jessica said. "Some of them even
sent me stuff."

"The power the Fans have depends on how much control
the Creators have, but even the more hands-on types
like my Joss can be affected by the Fans' power. And
since the Slayer has a lot of Fans, they can affect
what happens here."

"But my show didn't have the same fanbase," Jessica
told Tara ruefully.

"True, but you certainly have your followers. And one
of them's affecting what happens here," Tara pointed
out thoughtfully. "But he can't affect both places by
himself - if he can change what's happening in the
real world, he's got to be having help."

"From whom?"

"From whoever it was that made the Jump there first."

* * * * * * * * * * 

The van carrying Clover, Sam, Alex, and Anna pulled
into the courtyard and juddered to a stop.

"Showtime!" Penelope Pitstop chirped. "Time for you to
meet your friends."

"They aren't my friends," Sarah said sullenly, looking
at the open window. The memories of the past few days
all came to the fore; for every nice one (she didn't
mind sucking off Bobby Hill that much) there were too
many bad ones (she wished she could wipe out the
memory of Pitstop here firing that gun pointblank into
her face; she had only been dead for a couple of
seconds, and there wasn't the slightest sign to
suggest anything had happened, but...). Sarah knew
that there was nothing to stop her running to the
window, leaping out, and hurling herself to the
cobblestones far below.

Nothing except for the fact that around here, she
would just bounce right back again. That was what made
it so bad, and why their methods were so effective -
they could never torture you to DEATH here, they could
just keep going on and on and on forever until you
told them what they wanted to know. And the worst
thing was, Sarah would have told them if she knew...

"Come on!" Sarah Michelle Gellar was hustled out by -
no, she told herself she wasn't being manhandled by
Bert and Ernie. She wasn't, she wasn't, she...

Well, if she was, no time like the present... "So,"
she said, conjuring up a grin, "is it true that you're
gay?"

* * * * * * * * * *

"You're a lot shorter than I thought you'd be,"
Jessica said to Kim on meeting her.

"It's TV, it adds five inches," La Possible answered.
"Haven't seen you in ages, Blake!"

"I never got a chance to thank you for finding that
hairdresser," Daphne told the teen.

"No big," Kim replied. "Anyone behind a hair day that
bad had it coming."

"Your hair isn't that bad," Jennifer pointed out. 

"She means the style she got for 'The 13 Ghosts Of
Scooby-Doo,'" Tara explained. "Here..."

She cast a spell, and Daphne's hair, to its owner's
horror, reformed itself into that hideous cut.
"UUUGGGHHH!!" gagged Jessica and Kim together, as
Jennifer wrinkled her nose and waved her hands in
front of her face.

"That was pretty scary, yeah," Tara agreed, restoring
it as the WOOHP girls arrived, their friend in tow.
The smiles disappeared immediately as Kim and the trio
faced each other.

Clover glowered, Alex slitted her eyes, and Sam glared
at Kim, who looked from one to the other in turn.
There was going to be blood shed before long... and it
wasn't the first time they had crossed swords.

"Drakken says hi," Kim said tersely.

"You...!" Clover howled, and prepared to fling herself
onto Kim, as a horn sounded "Dixie." Instantly she and
the others halted, and faced the Compact Pussycat as
it drove towards them, Penelope at the wheel waving to
them, Sarah Michelle Gellar tied up behind it and
being dragged along.

"Don't go shedding any blood just yet, darlin'!"
called Penelope. "We need to get all the players here
- why, as I live and breathe, the last one just
arrived... isn't that just great timing?"

Fred and Norville had brought their van into the
courtyard, and were escorting the Road Runner arm in
arm - arm in wing, actually. He was putting up quite a
fight, going "Beep beep! Beep beep!" without a pause,
but the men had successfully ignored his pleas, and
had now brought him to join the others.

Daphne avoided the glances of Fred, focusing purely on
their companion. She'd seen the buzzing bird before,
but there was something different about him this time,
and not only that he'd been caught. She studied him -
beak, feathers, eyes... that was it. His eyes... They
were still live-action.

"Have a look at that," she said to Jessica. "Look at
the eyes." Jessica did, wondering what she was
supposed to be looking for. 

The Road Runner stared right back at her and "Beep
beep!"ed plantively, and it hit Miss Alba in the midst
of the introductions Penelope was making (despite the
plethora of "We've met"s). On top of all the other
revelations, this one was one too many - her mind
buckled under all the weight.

"Brittany...?" was all she could say before fainting.

"Brittany?" Sarah Michelle repeated. "As in Spears?"

"As in Murphy," Norville replied. "Apparently Kirsten
wasn't the only person to change when she came here."

"Tell us about it, Shaggy," Daphne said.

"I TOLD YOU NOT TO CALL ME THAT!"

* * * * * * * * * *

The water woke Jessica up. Warm water, not stinging
thankfully; she could feel a tiled floor. She must
have been taken to a bathroom and left there to
recover... yeah, she had to have been drinking. Must
have been a helluva lot though to have been imagining
she was talking to a bunch of TV characters...

"I thought you were never going to wake up," beamed
Tara, standing over her. The oddly lovely witch's hair
was dripping down over her head near Jessica's eyes.
"Better get up, they're going to be cleaning us now."

"They?" Jessica asked as she got up, and realised she
was naked. So was Tara. And so, as she looked around,
were all the others. The chamber they were in was
large, with jets coming down from sprockets throughout
the ceiling. 

"They give us fifteen minutes to wash ourselves, then
they send in people to scrub us just to make sure,"
the witch explained.

"Why?"

"Because they want us really pure for later," Clover
explained, staring at Jessica and Tara. As well as
Sarah and Jennifer.

"What's wrong?" asked Jennifer, the least
self-conscious of the live women. "Haven't you ever
seen naked women before?"

"Not like you we haven't," Alex admitted. "We're not
used to seeing women with tits that small. Around here
they're generally built more like..." she indicated
Kim Possible and Daphne Blake, standing directly under
a jet and humming to themselves. Kim's breasts were
big and perky the way only toons could be, and her
tummy looked even hotter without a shirt, but it was
the older woman who really caused the mouths of all
the live women there to drop open in admiration.

Daphne had a body that could only have been designed
by a man; tiny tiny waist, fantastic legs, and a
crimson bush that made even the most hirsute of the
ladies there (Jennifer, in case you were wondering)
start to dribble. And as for those breasts... Sarah
looked down at her own tits and felt sick with
jealousy. Those things she had on her were massive.

"Please don't let her have a good ass, please don't
let her have a good ass..." she thought to herself, as
Daphne handed the soap to Kim and asked her to rub her
back. Sarah bit her tongue to stop herself howling in
envy; she DID have a good ass. She had a great ass, in
fact. And Kim was rubbing it. SMG and Jennifer Garner
stared at the two toons in fascination, watching Kim
move her hands up from Daphne's rump to her boobs, and
rub her head against her back, purring contentedly.

"So you want a piece of animated ass?" Sam asked
Jennifer, getting in the way of their vision. "Admit
it, you're curious aren't you?"

Jennifer had to admit that she was.

"Well, you'll get all you want," Alex continued, and
judo-flipped the tall actress onto the tiles. "But
you're getting it on our terms."

"And don't go calling to the Dark Angel," Clover
added. "She's busy..."

Jessica was indeed busy; she had been urged to the
floor as well, and had been lying prone there when
Tara began her work. Jessica was still lying flat, but
she was no longer on the floor... she was hovering
several feet in the air, her hair and arms dangling
down and the breath escaping her in quick, excited
bursts. She was afraid and yet thrilled at what was
happening.

Tara had been the recipient of one such magical
cunnilingus from Willow when the musical demon had hit
Sunnydale, and now she wanted to make Jessica complete
as much as Willow had her. Jessica had been reluctant,
but the witch had pointed out that now that she was
dead by the rules of the Buffyverse, Miss Rosenberg
was off limits; and Tara was tantalizing her in other
ways. Peering down her levitated body, Jessica could
see Tara's large, kind eyes looking at her through her
cut-down pubes and hear the contented murmurs as she
delicately ran her tongue and lips through Jessica's
cunt. 

If you had been looking under Miss Alba, you would
have seen her buttocks start to be kneaded, as if
there was someone invisible under her squeezing away.
Jessica moaned as she felt her butt be manipulated,
and gasped as she saw her breasts start to move by
themselves - Tara couldn't touch her with her hands or
the spell would be broken. Jessica watched captivated
as her nipples stood out... she could actually feel
something brushing them. Her pussy was tingling away
with Tara's devoted mouth - but Tara had stepped away
from her, looking at her lovingly. 

Yet Jessica could still feel her pussy being worked
on... she felt herself rise a little further, and let
her head lie back as she waited for the end result.

Kim was facing Daphne now; they kissed deeply before
the teenager buried her head between Daphne's jugs,
but Miss Blake had her hands on Kim's tits. How Ron
could hang around with her and not try anything had
puzzled many of Daphne's contemporaries; OK, they were
smaller than her own, but whose weren't around here?
Daphne liked how pliable La Possible's boobage felt
with the soapy water on them; she ignored Kim's
mumbles as she spread one hand on her tight behind and
the other between her legs. Velma, Shmelma - now here
was a girl it would be fun to eat out... Daphne began
to lick Kim's beautiful body, wanting to make it all
count.

Jennifer Garner looked from one WOOHP-ass to the
other. The girls were standing with their backs to
her, their hands on their cheeks and spreading them
apart.

"You want some of this? You clean us out," Sam
ordered.

Jennifer picked up the soap reluctantly.

"With your TONGUE!!!" the girls chorused in glee.

"You can put the soap on it first if you like," Clover
added.

"Gee, thanks so much," Jennifer said ruefully. But
there was no way out of it... she worked the soap into
a lather, and smeared as much of it onto her tongue as
she dared. Jennifer was willing to eat ass, and had
done so on a number of occasions, but... she faced
Alex's butt, and gagged.

"Come on, Garner! It won't clean itself..."

They were Totally Spies, and Jennifer got on with the
show. Sarah Michelle Gellar couldn't help but smirk as
she watched Jennifer apply her soapy tongue to Alex's
rump and scrape around. This made up for the fact that
she was the only one there without a partner...

"Pardon me, miss, but it's time to begin the
scrubbing."

Sarah felt Peter Perfect's hands land on her
shoulders.

* * * * * * * * * *

Eliza Dushku was in the position of being with two
guys, not for the first time. Penelope had agreed that
she could forgo the shower chamber as a reward for
getting out of the machine, but she still needed
someone to watch over her in case she tried to escape,
despite Eliza pointing out that she didn't even know
how she got here in the first place.

But for the moment, she was focused on avoiding
Shaggy's stubble as it rubbed her face; she was
kissing him while Fred slid his cock back and forth
between her cheeks. She took care not to call him
that; it brought up images of Jamaican rappers. And
meanwhile, Fred's rod was wanking her butt like
nobody's business...

Shaggy enjoyed playing with Eliza's lovely biggish
tits; it was great to be with another woman after all
those years of Daphne. He kissed each one over and
over before pressing Eliza's hand against his crotch;
she needed no urging to take out what was inside.
Eliza grinned at how much bigger his was than Fred's.
"Come on, Norville," she growled sexily, "I'll give
this a good home." 

Feeling Fred's twig of a prick jerking away, she put
Shaggy's cock between her boobs and began some wanking
of her own. She instantly felt a lot hotter than poor
Fred could ever make her. "Now isn't this better than
any Scooby Snack?" she cooed, as she saw the head of
Shaggy's prick start to let its cum drip out.

"Like, yeah...!" Sometimes he forgot himself and went
back to his old self. He howled like his canine friend
as Eliza's tits worked around his prick, and stared at
them, wanting to jack off over them, dying to make
them all slippery and shiny with his juice, wanting to
shove it into her mouth, her snatch, heck, even her
behind if Cravat Man would ever get through...

"WHOOOOOOO!!!" Eliza yelled; Fred was finally getting
somewhere. As thin as his cock was, it meant that at
least she didn't feel like she was being split open
this time when he pushed it into her backside. But
boy, she wished it was Shaggy.

On the other hand, these cartoon guys had some weird
anatomy... they were all lying flat, but Eliza's ass
was receiving Fred without her needing to bend - it
was his prick that was bending, following her
fundament without any problems whatsoever. And as she
watched Shaggy's cock start to shoot between her tits,
she began to wonder if going back up there was really
such a good idea...

* * * * * * * * * *

"Is this really such a good idea?" asked Phoebe.

"Well, calling a taxi is a lot easier than waiting for
the bus," Piper pointed out, "and I can't ask Paige to
orb us there all the time."

"No, I mean this whole situation... when Ashley comes
in, we'll talk."

"Talk about what?" beamed Ashley, freshly returned
from the store.

"About us."

Ashley's smile disappeared. She had a feeling that
this time would come, but she had hoped it could have
been delayed for as long as possible... she set down
her shopping and sat down next to the sisters. "Let's
get it over with."

"Look, Ash... you know how we all feel about you. Even
Piper. We love you, and we love living here, but..."

"But the house in San Francisco is our house," Paige
continued reluctantly. "It's been in the family for
generations..."

"It's our base," Piper added. "We can't just dump it
for anyone. Not even you."

"I understand," Ashley said quietly. "You have to
leave."

"You could come with us," Phoebe suggested. "We've got
the room..."

"But this is MY home," Ashley pointed out. "I can't
abandon it any more than you can leave yours. Plus...
I'm expecting her to come any day now."

"Expecting who?"

"Expecting me," a new female voice answered Paige.

With surprise on the faces of the Charmed Ones and
surprise and recognition on Ashley's, the four women
turned to see Melissa Gabriel. A slim blonde in her
teens, she was on the verge of blossoming into a truly
beautiful woman; she and Ashley had been separated for
years after her big sister had sent her away in a bid
to keep Smoleg from coming after her. Now that it was
safe, she had alerted her that they could be reunited,
even though Melissa had insisted time and again that
she hadn't needed to be sent away. And she still did
that now.

"And who are these strangers?" Melissa asked.

"They're not strangers," Ashley told her. "They're
damn near part of the family - if it wasn't for them I
wouldn't be here."

"Just doing our jobs," Piper told her. "Piper
Halliwell-Wyatt."

"Melissa Gabriel," the teen replied, liking Piper on
the spot, but reserving judgement about the other two.
"You wanna tell me what all this is about you not
wanting to leave?"

* * * * * * * * * *

"So let me get this straight," Scott said to Sydney.
"Jennifer's stuck on the other side of the screen with
all the other characters? With Kim Possible?"

"Sort of, yeah," Sydney replied. "And Shego's up here
disguised as Ellen Devereaux - she's on my show now as
Harriet, she's a spy who - "

"Hey, hey, hey! No spoilers!" Scott laughed,
forgetting the situation for a second.

"Fair point. Anyway, Shego sent Garner into the other
place, just as Alba and the other women she was
shooting with got sent over as well. They can still
swap back as long as the Threesome doesn't take
place."

"The WHAT?"

* * * * * * * * * *

VELMA: Yo Hojo.

ALBASSEXSLAVE: What's up, Velma?

VELMA: I've been talking to you and Will for a while
now... how about we meet up? I've gotta know if you
look as good as you write.

ALBASSEXSLAVE: Guess we could sort that out. I bet
Will would love it.

WILL: Yeah, I would. Drop us emails and we'll work out
a meeting.

VELMA: I've got a friend who's seen some of the stuff
you do - she can't wait to meet you.

WILL: If she's anything like you, it'll be our
pleasure.

* * * * * * * * * *

"Oh, darn it!" Peter twittered.

Sarah wasn't having too good a time either; of all the
guys to get partnered with, she had to be with someone
who sounded like friggin' Snagglepuss ("Snagglepuss
sounds like ME!" Peter had told her, miffed. "And I'll
thank you not to draw comparisons between me and that
homosexual feline...").

And now there she was, having been scrubbed clean by
the handlers, and being held up all soapy and
disinfected as Peter thrust into her, clinical and
precise... but not getting anywhere. He tried his
hardest, but he just couldn't get the job done. His
dick hung there limp, as useless as an episode of
"Filmation's Ghostbusters."

"Hey," SMG suggested. "If you're having trouble
getting stiff, think of someone you DO want to poke.
Just get it over with!"

An image of Penelope Pitstop atop Betty Rubble floated
into the driver's head. Both he and Sarah stared at
his penis - even around here they never got hard that
quickly. He beamed, grasped the tiny blonde and was
about to enter when a bass drumroll was heard,
punctuated by the sound of a hammer striking metal
twice. Peter let her go, and bowed his head
reluctantly.

"What was that?" Sarah asked.

"That thing at the end of Jack Webb's shows," Jennifer
explained, spitting the rinsing water out of her mouth
as the WOOHP girls watched. Their assholes were as
clean as Garner's mouth had been dirty.

"Yeah, that too," Daphne agreed, "but it's the alarm.
We're wanted."

She and the others, all cleaned up, were hustled to
the changing rooms to get dressed.

* * * * * * * * * *

Scott just stared at Sydney, as she finished
explaining what was up.

"And you DON'T want this to go ahead? But if you did,
you'd win..."

"Yeah, I know," Sydney agreed, as she started to get
dressed. "But some things have to stay the way they
are, even if we don't want them to. Besides, Jennifer
belongs up here... too many questions. Like how come I
don't bruise."

It was true. Scott had surveyed all of Sydney's naked
body; unlike Jennifer Garner, there wasn't a single
battle mark to be seen anywhere. Sydney had asked him
to hit her as hard as he could - he had obliged by
whacking her across the face with a chair, but he
might as well have used a feather.

"I'm due on set soon - you get some rest, and see if
you can find Weatherly. The two of you will need to
keep a close eye on Max, and I'll try and control
Shego."

Scott nodded, thankful he had married her and not Fran
Drescher. Two Nannys running around the place would be
hell.

* * * * * * * * * *

As well as being gorgeous, Tracy liked to be nice to
anyone who recognised her; the hype surrounding her in
"Silencers" was growing, and anything she did to build
up her image could only help her upstage her co-stars.
It was the start of a busy day, and she had to spend a
lot of it in front of a green screen pretending to be
fighting while hanging on outside a plane that would
be added at Industrial Light and Magic, or Sony
Pictures Imageworks, or [oh please no!] Rhythm & Hues,
or whichever one of the 20 companies that would be
rushing to do all the effects shots so the movie could
be in cinemas on time.

But now she had just seen off a small bunch of boys
who all recognised her from "FHM" and wanted her
autograph (she could have given them more, but they
were all too damn young), and now she needed to get a
cab...

"Hey!"

Tracy saw a hand beckoning her from an alleyway, and
quickly ran into the alley, knowing that Ellen was
there.

"Aren't you supposed to be on set? On set in New York?
On the other side of the country? Away from ME?"

"We're here to do the effects shots," Tracy explained.
"It'll only be for a couple of days."

"Well, keep out of sight," Ellen told her. "You know
what happens if people see us both together, or if we
even get together."

As she spoke, Ellen's features started to change into
those of Shego; but Tracy was hardly bothered, because
she herself was starting to change. Her black hair
became blonde, her body became trimmer and tighter,
and her voice changed into a higher pitch, sounding
like she was from Texas.

Unbeknownst to either, Gabrielle Union was watching
the pair from the rooftop, her tailing of Tracy having
paid off. She willed herself not to shout on seeing
Luanne from "King of the Hill" standing there chatting
to some green-tinged lady...

* * * * * * * * * *

"If this works," Ashley told Melissa with her eyes
shining, "I'll be your slave forever."

Phoebe gazed at Ashley with love in her eyes, as did
Paige and Piper. The three sisters stood in the attic
of the Halliwell house, holding hands in a circle with
Ashley, whose love was the binding force amongst them,
in the centre. It had been Melissa's idea to blend the
three Charmed Ones and Ashley into one being - that
way they could be together forever, and never have to
part. Plus, they would make one kick-ass witch.

"Hand in hand, heart to heart,

Hear us now, they shall not part,

One in four and four in one,

They shall stay till time is done."

Swirling lights began to form around the brunettes's
bodies, and Ashley felt her heart pounding as Phoebe,
Piper and Paige became transparent, were harmlessly
stretched upwards and soared into the sky. As Ashley
watched, the three ladies flew down and entered her,
and she felt herself multiply by four...

BAM!

Ashley suddenly found herself slammed against the
door. She felt her head; she was okay, but that
feeling she'd had a moment ago was gone. She looked to
the left of her - there was Paige, also intact, but
looking equally lost. To the right, dazed but
unharmed, was Phoebe.

And straight ahead where Piper should have ended up...
was a shattered window. The Halliwells and Gabriels
all had the same thought, and ran to the window with
that dreadful thought in their heads, expecting to see
the sweetest of the coven lying dead on the pavement
outside surrounded by broken glass. What they saw
didn't make them feel any better.

The good news was that Piper wasn't lying dead on the
pavement outside, surrounded by broken glass.

The bad news was that Piper wasn't out there at all...

* * * * * * * * * *

Jessica looked at herself in the full-length mirrors;
like the other women, she was dressed rather flashily
in a red and blue uniform. She was thankful that she
had the kind of body that spandex suited, but she
still wanted to know why they had her in this.

"Is it to your satisfaction, Miss?" asked the aide.

"Well, it fits me," she replied. "But - "

"Then let's go."

Small talk wasn't on the agenda around here. With no
real option, Jessica and the others trooped out into
the sunlight, onto another part of the castle grounds.
This was a wide open space, normally reserved for
parties and suchlike, but today something different
would be happening, and only one side would be in the
mood for partying when it was over.

"So did y'all enjoy your bath?" asked Penelope,
standing in the centre of the field.

"We sure did," Clover laughed, giving Jennifer  a
knowing look.

"Come over here, Buffy."

Sarah was escorted over to Penelope, remembering the
last time she had told her "My name isn't Buffy!" It
had also been the first time she had been "killed."
She didn't want for it to be the cause of her having
to go through that again.

"Buffy here is a key player in this little game,"
Penelope began, clutching the tiny thespian with more
force than Sarah had imagined. "See, she was the first
person to get into this part of the world, and a lot
of us want to know how she did it, to kinda open up a
bit of two-way traffic."

"I told you, I DON'T KNOW!"

"There you go, lying to us again," Penelope
tut-tutted.

"Maybe she got here the same way we did," Jennifer
told her.

"And how would that be now?"

"Ellen... Shego... whatever her name is, she attacked
me in a ladies' room, jacked me off, opened up this
big vortex and sent me here."

"That's sort of how I got here too," Jessica added
sullenly. "Me and Dushku broke into Tracy Ryan's
dressing room and Brittany was in this vortex
thing..."

"So that's why she and Dunst changed!" Fred
interrupted. "You said something like this might
happen..."

"Something like what?" Sarah asked.

"See, Murphy and Dunst have themselves a few little
ties to the toons," Penelope explained. "Brit does the
voice of Luanne, and Dunst was the voice of - "

"Anastacia!" a suddenly pale Eliza interrupted. 

It all hit her then. Kirsten Dunst had voiced the
young Anastacia in that cartoon... and that
pre-Revolutionary Russian girl was the girl that
Hathaway bitch turned into when the three of them had
been together. And if Shego had been responsible for
getting Garner here, then that little girl had pulled
herself and Dunst here. But why hadn't - 

"Why wasn't Garner changed?" Penelope asked. "Maybe my
boys should tell them."

"Kirsten was taken by that kid and turned into her;
Luanne got to fuck the woman who gave her life, so to
speak, so Brittany would have changed into her en
route if blowfish here hadn't tried to rescue her.
That's why she got turned into the Beeper - she could
have turned into anything, but Brittany just happened
to have her on her mind when she went in," Fred
continued.

"Yeah, it's like when you dream, what's on your mind
before you fall asleep turns into what you dream
about," Norville added.

"Beep beep! Beep beep!" Brittany replied, bounding up
and down in an attempt to escape.

"But Garner wasn't done by anything related to her, so
she's intact. So's Gellar." Penelope whistled.

A large sword came twirling through the air, heading
directly for them. Penelope nudged Sarah - "That's
yours."

"Yeah, like she'll catch that," Daphne cackled, and
promptly ate her words as Sarah caught it by the
handle, and twirled it. It wasn't ALL special effects.

"Excellent!" Penelope laughed. "Now choose which one
of these ladies you're going to kill first."

Sarah gaped at her, as did the others.

"See, it's part down to revenge," Daphne said, as
Jessica stared at her. "That awful movie you did was a
disgrace to us all. Except for Scrappy-Doo, of
course."

"And don't think us and Nikita haven't noticed you
stealing our thunder, Garner," Sam added.

"But all you gotta do for us to forgive you and even
let you go is chop one of your little friends into
Gravy Train dog food," Penelope finished.

"Look, I know it's not going to be permanent," Sarah
argued, "but - "

"Uhhh... not quite. If one of US kills one of YOU it's
not permanent; if one of YOU kills one of US it's not
permanent; but even around here if one of YOU kills
one of YOU you stay dead. You do it, you get to go
free. You don't do it... well..."

Penelope's smile disappeared as she finished. "Make up
your mind, Buffy," she hissed. "Who's getting it?"

* * * * * * * * * *

Piper felt dirt and rocks against her face as she came
to.

When they had all taken up space inside Ashley,
something had happened to block Melissa's spell;
whatever it was had driven them all apart, but
whatever it was had temporarily given Piper Paige's
power of orbing - blending them together had given
them all each other's powers. It had also blasted her
clear out of San Francisco, and propelled her heaven
knows how far away to wind up on this hillside...

No, this wasn't a hill. It was the side of a sloping
cliff. She had landed on an outcropping that had been
wide enough to hold her, and her luck continued to
hold when she looked around; it wasn't far to climb
up. And Piper could see the Castle up at the top.
Somehow she knew she had had to come here - there was
SOMETHING she had to say...

Maybe she'd remember when she got to the top. The
witch started to clamber up to the Castle, racking her
brains for what she had to remember.

* * * * * * * * * *

Gabrielle Union slathered the soap over her fine ebony
frame, thinking over what she had just seen. Of
course, nobody was going to believe her - which was
why she wasn't going to tell anyone. The second she
got dressed, she was going to get herself back to
base, and get herself out of this movie.

Dammit, she had dropped the soap. She reached down to
get it, but before she could touch it a pink hand
snatched it away...

Startled, Gabrielle turned around to face two
intruders. Both nude, both attractive, and both angry.

"Did you really think we didn't know you were
following us?" Shego chided, twirling the soap in her
hand.

"You know 'Once you try black, you never go back'?"
Luanne asked, slamming Gabrielle up against the tiles
before she could run out. "Once you try toon, you're
up on the moon."

"Try harder," Gabrielle parried, trying to escape, but
finding the two harder to get away from than she had
thought.

"Too bad you can't tell your friends about this,"
Shego added, stroking Miss Union's bush as Luanne
picked up the shower attachment and lowered the head
towards their captive. "Tell Jennifer Garner I said
hi..."

-- 
Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights
reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated.
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