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From: SilverNominees@aol.com
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Subject: {ASSM} {REVIEW} The Silver Clitorides Awards, 2003, September
Date: Fri, 10 Oct 2003 19:10:08 -0400
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Author: Moderated by Gary Jordan
Title: The Silver Clitorides Awards, 2003, September
Part: 9 of 2003
Universe: The Silver Clitorides Awards
Summary: The Silver Clitorides Awards are a monthly adjunct to the
Golden Clitorides Awards. Their object is to promote good stories
and good authors.
Keywords: Stories, Links, Awards
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The September 2003 Silver Clitorides Awards Presentation:
Well, here we are in La Taverna. Again. Another presentation. And
me with my Muse still miffed about the whole "Lost Masterpiece"
thing. Forced to rely solely on Native Talent.
Right. Like that'll work.
At least she was here with me, helping me control the pair of mixed
Rottweiler-Shepherds loaned to me by my gay acquaintance Wilbur
Piñot. Naturally, she made me take care of the pooper-scooper
myself.
"I haven't asked before now, and I'm still not at all certain I want
to know," Muse started, "but what do these mangy mutts have to do
with the Silver Clitorides Awards?"
If she really wanted to know, she would just pluck the thoughts from
my head. Muses do that. Mine used to. I supposed I would have to
verbalize.
"They are—or so I've heard—integral to an oft-expressed
desire on the part of this month's winner."
"An 'oft-expressed desire?' How does the winner even know Wilbur?
Willie never travels north of the Mason-Dixon."
"I don't know. It isn't important. If I can accommodate the wish as
part of the presentation, I will."
Muse shook her bemused head. (Hey! A bemused Muse! Cool, huh?)
"It's about that time. You had better take the podium." She shook
her head again.
So I took the leashes and escorted the brutes to the stage. Muse
very kindly snapped her fingers, causing ambient light to dim and a
spotlight to appear. I smiled my thanks.
"Good evening, Ladies and Gentlemen and so forth. Welcome to the
monthly presentation of the Silver Clitorides Awards. Before I
present the Award for the best story of the month of September,
2003, I'd like to attempt a feat in honor of the winner." I went on
to explain about the owner of the dogs.
Stooping, I placed my arms under the first canine. Hoisting him
wasn't much problem, but getting the second dog in my arms would be
more of a challenge. It didn't help that the first one didn't seem
to enjoy being carried. He wriggled a lot.
Nevertheless, I persevered. It wasn't until I set the first down
and picked up the second in a fireman's carry that I managed to pick
up both at once.
Finally, someone in the audience asked, "Gary, what's the point of
this exercise?"
"The Winner expressed a desire to see this. It's even more important
to the winner than winning awards."
"But what are you doing?"
"I'm finally," I said as I managed to get both dogs into my arms,
"lifting the curs of the pom, Piñot."
To the accompaniment of an orgasmic groan (at least, I hope it was
orgasmic), I announced, "The winner of the Silver Clitorides Award
for Best Story of the Month of September, 2003 is What Do You Dream
Of? by Frank Downey. Congratulations, Frank! Well done to all the
nominees and finalists!"
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The August 2003 Silver Clitorides Awards Nominees and Finalists.
Story Author Status
================================= ==================== =======
A Gentle Lady Rellik Nominee
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Rellik/A%20Gentle%20lady.txt
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Rellik/
Always and Forever Girl Friday Finalist
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Girl_Friday/www/alwaysandforever.html
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Girl_Friday/www/
Coming Home Rod Ramsey Finalist
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Ramsey/Coming%20Home.txt
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Ramsey/
Considering Marriage Number 6 Nominee
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/number_6/www/considering.html
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/number_6/www/
Good Morning Babe Girl Friday Nominee
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Girl_Friday/www/goodmorning.html
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Girl_Friday/www/
Hype Jolie du Pré Nominee
http://www.geocities.com/joliedupre/index23.html
http://www.geocities.com/joliedupre/
Rebecca Selena Jardine Finalist
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Selena_Jardine/www/Selena__22.htm
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Selena_Jardine/www/
The Memory Star Desdmona Finalist
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2003/44245
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Desdmona/www/
Twin Brides Jan Vincent Nominee
http://www.sistersinlove.org/mystories/twinbrides.html
http://www.sistersinlove.org/
What Do You Dream Of? Frank Downey Winner
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Frank_Downey/www/whatdoyoudreamof.htm
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Frank_Downey/www/
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