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Message-ID: <43550asstr$1059106207@assm.asstr-mirror.org>
From: Crimson Dragon <dcrimsonp@nym.alias.net>
Subject: {ASSM} {REVIEW} {Reviews} Crimson Reviews - #029 - 24-Jul-2003
Date: Fri, 25 Jul 2003 00:10:07 -0400
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"And she'll have fun, fun, fun
 'til her Daddy takes the T-bird away ..."
                                -- Beach Boys

This week we have a rather eclectic mix of stories. Pirates.
Pastors. Daemons. Underage temptresses. Consequences.  Marriage
counselling by voyeurism. Stone stages. And, of course, more piracy
(and dragons!).

Perhaps it is because I went out and saw the "Pirates of the
Caribbean" a few nights ago, but I really enjoyed the pirate
stories. Unfortunately, I cannot devote an entire issue of the
reviews to the pirate tales, but I will probably review a few more
over the next few. My Dragon hat is off to Meme and Smiley this
week. They made me wish I'd managed to find the time to write a
pirate yarn, myself.

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The missives below are merely opinions, publicly stated, but only 
opinions. Dragons may be immortal, but they are not infallible. Read the 
stories for yourself, and form your own opinions. Then, let the author 
know what you thought. Celeste's blowjob principle isn't smoke in the 
wind.

 - Crimson Dragon (dcrimson@yahoo.com)

http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Crimson_Dragon/www
http://members.tripod.com/files/Authors/Dr/wwwagon_Of_Crimson

Review Archives:
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Crimson_Reviews/www

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If you like the stories contained in these reviews, Rui helps run
the Clitorides, which is a "People's Choice"-type award system
for exceptional erotica. You might want to nominate any story that
tickles you.

Silver: http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Clitorides/www/Silver_Clitorides.htm
Golden: http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Rui_Favorites/www/Clitorides/
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Story Summary:
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Pirates of the 22nd Century -- Meme Misspelt
    (pirates nosex nc viol satire)
    [10,10,10,10]

Holiday -- Uther 
    (MF wl)
    [10,10,7,7]

Imp Encounter -- Taylor
    (MF ScFi best reluc viol snuff)
    [9,7,8,7]

Kelly on the 4th -- Saint Phallus
    (Mf, fantasy inc, cons, anal)
    [3,2,2,1]

Consequences -- Naive
    (M/F, cheat, flash, caution)
    [8,6,10,9]

Better Than Before -- juanwildone
    (mf MF voy)
    [8,9,9,9]

Amphitheatre -- Delta
    (M/F)
    [10,10,10,10]

Desdemona and the Tiger -- Smilodon
    (pirates)
    [10,10,10,10]

Reviews:
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Pirates of the 22nd Century -- Meme Misspelt
    (pirates nosex nc viol satire)

Story:
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/meme_misspelt/www/stories/pirates22.html
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2003/43285

Author's Site:
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/meme_misspelt/www/

Veronica is tied securely to the mast of a sailing vessel, and as
has happened countless times before, she watches as a ship
approaches, skull and crossbones flying proudly from the mast.
Inevitably, the pirates board and do what pirates normally do to
naked, beautiful, helpless girls tied to masts. But what exactly is
Veronica, and why does she suffer so?

Meme writes an interesting tale here. As warned in the story codes,
there is not much in the way of hot sex here, except what is
manufactured in the mind. Rather, Meme touches on a boatload of
issues in a very short story. The story is clever, and works on
many, many levels. The value and definition of life. The morals of
non-consensual activities. The difference between right and wrong.
And, of course, piracy in general.

This is a different story. I really liked the messages within, and
how Meme stepped back and presented them. So many levels, so little
time.

Technical       :   10
Eros            :   10
Character/Plot  :   10
Crimson         :   10

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Holiday -- Uther 
    (MF wl)

Story:
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Uther_Pendragon/www/story/holiday.htm

Author's Site:
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/Uther_Pendragon/index.htm

George, the local pastor, and his wife, Barb, live a happy,
non-eventful life. He writes his sermons, and they catch what time
they can to sneak away and quietly make love.  Can't wake Shannon,
their daughter.

And so, when they find a little time, on the Fourth of July, they
leave Shannon with friends, and find some time for themselves.

[ He heard the shower begin, and then he returned his attention to 
  the screen in front of him.  He'd got through it all, and was 
  staring at the screen when he heard the shower stop.  He printed 
  the new one out, and saved it.  He was outside the bathroom door 
  when she came out in the muu muu, but carrying the bathing suit.  
  She cooperated in the kiss, accepting his tongue, relaxing 
  against him.  He could feel her soft breasts press against his 
  chest, her buttock flexing under his right hand.  The print-out 
  in his left interfered with his hug. ]

There really isn't anything wrong with it, but I found the reading a
little monotonous. The above paragraph, I think, highlights it.  All
the sentences begin in the same style -- He did this, and then she
did that. I really hate to be negative, and to be fair, Uther does
use variety in sentences in sections of the story, but I honestly
found the story to be lacking in, I don't know, life, energy, flow.
It's difficult to describe, and it could easily have been me, not
Uther. But that's what I saw, and so I have to mention it here.  You
did want an honest reader reaction, didn't you?

On the other hand, Uther is writing about normal life -- not a James
Bond thriller here. This is what happens to normal people, I
suppose. Sometimes writing a sermon, or rewriting it, and perhaps
working to dodge young daughters, accurately reflects life. I think
that's what Uther was trying for here. I'm afraid, though, that for
me, I ended up a little depressed. Is life and marriage really this
dull and fraught with marital insecurities? Even the sex seemed ...
I don't know ... forced .. routine ... desperate? Maybe that's what
Uther is pointing out? I guess I didn't get a clear idea of what
Uther was trying to tell me.

After the first sex scene, Barb is curiously uninterested in her own
climax. While I realise that this sometimes happens and without
adequate explanation in real life, I was as curious as George as to
why this might be so in this encounter. I never did understand it,
and I'm not sure that was Uther's intent either.

Anyway, the story is well written technically, though I found the
prose a little dry. The sex was certainly there, even if it wasn't
completely to my tastes. The characters were a little lacking, and
the plot really wasn't all that engaging, at least for me; however,
if you are into wedded lust-type stories, I do recommend it.

Technical       :   10
Eros            :   10
Character/Plot  :    7
Crimson         :    7

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Imp Encounter -- Taylor
    (MF ScFi best reluc viol snuff)

Story:
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2003/43333

Author's Site:
None available

The beasts of Hell surround him. Taylor hefts his trusty chaingun,
and blasts away. When that runs out of ammunition, he picks up a
chainsaw and hacks at the horrors that surround him. Nearly dead, he
stumbles to his backpack and extracts a drug concoction that will
accelerate his healing, but also alters his mind. Entering his
ultimate goal, imps await him. In a berserker rage, he kills them as
easily as we might a pack of mosquitoes or ants. But one remains,
cowering behind a pillar. Taylor, isolated for so long, longs for a
connection. Any connection. And the imp is female.

(Does this remind anyone else of an overly violent game of Doom?)

Despite the scary story codes here, there is story -- perhaps not as
fleshed out or complete as one might like, but Taylor (the author)
has written a compelling tale, if you can get past the violence and
the horror that permeates the piece. It is well written, but for a
few minor proofing issues (and might be posting problems).  And
there is humanity amongst the horror. What might any of us do in a
similar situation? While I'm not sure I would write something like
this, and I won't recommend it to everyone, it isn't badly written
for what it is.

Technical       :    9
Eros            :    7
Character/Plot  :    8
Crimson         :    7

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Kelly on the 4th -- Saint Phallus
    (Mf, fantasy inc, cons, anal)

Story:
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2003/43310

Author's Other Works:
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/cgi-bin/field_search.cgi?search=saintphallus@yahoo.com&index=email&submit=Search
    

Okay, this is one of those times that I'm going to let my bias(es)
get the better of me.

Our narrator picks up a young girl, who is in her early teens, gets
her drunk, offers her drugs, and fucks her silly. She is a 'willing'
participant, but even when he recognises her as a probable victim of
incestuous child abuse from her father, who was also accused of
abusing the girl's friends, he continues, only intent on his own
pleasure. When they are done, he returns her to where they met, and
they part ways.
    
[ Younger {then} my youngest daughter, maybe 14, ... ]

'than' might have been a better choice, but honestly, given the
overall technical content of the story, this is the least of your
worries if you are still reading.

[ I felt guilty, but not for long. Her daddy deserved a
  {metal}! He'd created a fucking machine! ]
  
Beyond the spelling errors, and awful style here, the content of the
passage about sums up the philosophy, character and themes of the
story. I'm sure you get the idea. Now, this might appeal to some --
but not this particular Dragon.  Enter bias.

Anyway, I usually try to find *something* positive about a story to
recommend, but in this case, I truly cannot. There isn't much to
redeem this effort. It is a self-centred brush with thoughtless male
fantasy. There is no character or plot to speak of. Even the sex is
formulaic and laced with cliche, if you can get beyond the obvious
rape/underage fetish that seems to be the point of this 'story'. It
really will only appeal to those that get off on fantasy of underage
sex spawned from incestuous abuse without conscience or concern.

For the rest of us ... give this one a pass. Personally, I regret
that it slipped past my story selection criteria. By the time I
realised that the story codes were misleading, and that the themes
were beyond my tolerance range, it was a little too late for me.

Technical       :    3
Eros            :    2
Character/Plot  :    2
Crimson         :    1

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Consequences -- Naive
    (M/F, cheat, flash, caution)

Story:
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/naive/www/consequences.html
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2003/43283

Author's Site:
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/naive/www/

Frank arrives at the door, bloody and banged up. You see, he went to
the neighbourhood bar to unwind, and overheard Bill bragging about
one of his latest conquests. Normally, this wouldn't be a problem,
except that his latest conquest might have been Angela. One night of
ill-advised passion leads to consequences nobody could have
foreseen.

[ Angela could {here} the gritting of his teeth as he spoke. ]

'hear'

Overall, a nice effort, though I did notice an overuse of the words
'just' and 'got'. Not really an issue -- it is well written, merely
something to think about for later efforts.

I was a little disappointed with the ending -- but not because of
its direction. While it was effective as it was, I thought it was a
little abrupt, and because of that lost a little of the emotional
impact that I think Naive was searching for.  Nevertheless, it was a
brave direction, and effective in its own way.

I did like the concept here, and where Naive took this. The
characters are delightfully human, both Angela and Frank, even if
the story is on the depressing side. There's nothing wrong with
depressing -- it is what Naive was aiming for, I think. Likewise
with the Eros score. This story isn't meant to reflect happy sex,
after all.

A different story, one well worth reading.

Technical       :    8
Eros            :    6
Character/Plot  :   10
Crimson         :    9

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Better Than Before -- juanwildone
    (mf MF voy)

Story:
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2003/43235

Author's Archive:
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/juanwildone/

While the menfolk watch sports, the women gather around and talk.
What do they talk about? Why, sex of course. Today, they ask
Charlene to join them, and even though she'd rather watch the
sports, she sits down and listens as Aunt Pat begins to relate a
story that features Charlene and her boyfriend Michael. Now, Pat
herself is having trouble with her marriage as a result of
infidelity, and it turns out that her voyeurism, watching Charlene
and Michael go at it in the kitchen, leads to the repair of her own
marriage.  And a little bit more.

I liked the style of this piece, though I have to admit to some
point of view confusion when juan switches between Aunt Pat's
dialogue and her memories. While I know what juan was trying for,
and it does work to a degree, I think it might have been as
effective, or even more so, to remain consistent in style.

There were the odd spelling and grammatical errors, though nothing
really to worry about. The story is well written, and I especially
liked the teasing/voyeurism scenes between Charlene and Michael.
Honestly, the reconciliation scenes at the end (especially the anal
play and associated dialogue from George and Pat) stretched the
limits of my belief, but overall, it is a sexy and fun story with an
honest effort at character and plot.

Technical       :    8
Eros            :    9
Character/Plot  :    9
Crimson         :    9

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Amphitheatre -- Delta
    (M/F)

Story:
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2003/42613

Author's Archive:
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Delta/

When the Connor estate drops some of the barriers to entrance,
Karen, a violinist, sneaks into the old stone amphitheatre and
begins to practice. Slowly, people trickle in, raptly listening.
The music inspires the small gathering.

Perhaps it is because there is a place, near where I grew up, that
had a small amphitheatre, and it was and is a beautiful place. I
loved the setting, and the way Delta intermixes the imagery of Karen
with her audience. In many ways this is beautifully written. I could
feel the open air, and hear each note of her music.

Technical       :   10
Eros            :   10
Character/Plot  :   10
Crimson         :   10

Editorial Note:
    This was posted back in May, which is normally outside my reviewing
    range for July, but I've only now re-read it again for review, and
    the reviews have been sporadic over the last months. Consider this 
    more of a spotlight. I nearly missed it the first time around.

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Desdemona and the Tiger -- Smilodon
    (pirates)

Story:
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/SM/wwwilodon/Des_Tiger.htm
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2003/43332

Author's Site:
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/SM/wwwilodon/

In an out of the way tavern, a young man named Will meets an old
seaman named Reuben. For the price of a pitcher of beer, the sailor
spins a yarn of piracy upon the high seas. Yes this does involve the
beautiful Desdemona, and her capture. And some of the other faces,
at least to us, may be a little familiar.

I know for a fact that our beautiful heroine Desdemona, the
curmudgeon Wheeler, and the captain Scipio, have denied involvement.
I can't speak for all Dragons, but ...

[ ... let him have it hot and strong, I can tell you. She was up 
  that quarterdeck like a rat up a hawse pipe; her and that old dragon
  of a duenna she had with her. I tell you, the old girl was absolutely 
  crimson with outrage. She told the Frenchie exactly what she thought 
  of his day's work and pulled no punches. ]

Ahem. Duenna????? Growl.

[ prettily and gave him a flashing smile. The dragon looked at me and 
  sniffed pointedly. I have to admit she was more to my taste. Nice and 
  well covered even if she did have a bit of a beard. Still, I can 
  forgive a little touch ... ]

A beard? If I were a more vindictive Dragon ... I might ...

But smiley couldn't have been talking about ... naw ... even that
old cat wouldn't have been that crazy. You just wait, smiley.  Two
can play at this game.

Now, some may claim that this is a biased review -- given some of
the ... ahem ... characterisations, but honestly, the story put a
smile on my face, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. You don't have to be
a Dragon to enjoy it too. Smilodon has captured a genre here
perfectly in dialogue and setting. I believed, and I still do.

Fun and well worth reading. And even if it takes me another few
centuries, I'll get even with that prehistoric feline. I wonder
how Des is going to get even?

Technical       :   10
Eros            :   10
Character/Plot  :   10
Crimson         :   10

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-- 
Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights
reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated.
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