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Subject: {ASSM} Language Classic - Spelling Reform (nosex)
Date: Thu,  5 Jun 2003 07:10:02 -0400
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As requested; excuse it being OT.

First published in Astounding Science Fiction, 1946
(Astounding later become Analog).  Often recirculated with 
accumulated changes.  As far as I know, this is the original.

MEIHEM IN CE KLASRUM

by Dalton Edwards

Because we are still bearing some of the scars of our brief 
skirmish with II-B English, it is natural that we should be 
enchated by Mr.George Bernard Shaw's current campaign for a 
simplified alphabet.
  Obviously, as Mr. Shaw points out, English spelling is much 
in need of a general overhauling and streamlining.  However, 
our own resistance to any changes requiring a large 
expenditure of mental effort in the near future would cause us 
to view with some apprehension the possibility of some day 
receiving a morning paper printed in - to us - Greek.
  Our own plan would achieve the same end as the legislation 
proposed by Mr. Shaw, but in a less shocking manner, as it 
consists merely of an acceleration of the normal processes by 
which the language is continually modernized.
  As a catalytic agent, we would suggest that a National Easy 
Language week be proclaimed, which the President would 
inaugurate, outlining some short cut to concentrate on during 
the week, and to be adopted during the ensuing year.  All 
school children would be given a holiday, the lost time being 
the equivalent of that gained by the spelling short cut.
  In 1946, for example, we would urge the elimination of the 
soft "c," for which we would substitute "s."  Sertainly, such 
an improvement would be selebrated in all sivic-minded sircles 
as being suffisiently worth the trouble, and students in all 
sities in the land would be reseptive toward any change 
eliminating the nesessity of learning the differense between 
the two letters.
  In 1947, sinse only the hard "c" would be left, it would be 
possible to substitute "k" for it, both letters being 
pronounsed identikally.  Imagine how greatly only two years of 
this prosess would klarify the konfusion in the minds of 
students.  Already we would have eliminated an entire letter 
from the alphabet. Typewriters and linotypes kould all be 
built with one less letter, and all the manpower and materials 
previously devoted to making "c's" kould be turned toward 
raising the national standard of living.
  In the fase of so many notable improvements, it is easy to 
foresee that by 1948, "National Easy Language Week" would be a 
pronounsed suksess.  All skhool children would be looking 
forward with konsiderable exsitement to the holiday, and in a 
blaze of national publisity it would be announsed that the 
double konsonant "ph" no longer existed, and that the sound 
would henseforth be written "f" in all words.  This would make 
sutsh words as "fonograf" twenty persent shorter in print.
  By 1949, publik interest in a fonetik alfabet kan be 
expekted to have inkreased to the point where a more radikal 
step forward kan be taken without fear of undue kritisism.  We 
would therefore urge the elimination at that time of al 
unesesary double leters, whitsh, although quite harmles, have 
always ben a nuisanse in the language and a desided deterent 
to akurate speling.  Try it yourself in the next leter you 
write, and se if both writing and reading are not both 
fasilitated.
  With so mutsh progres already made, it might be posible in 
1950 to delve further into the posibilities of fonetik 
speling.  After due konsideration of the reseption aforded the 
previous steps, it should be expedient by this time to spel al 
difthongs fonetikaly.  Most students do not realize that the 
long "i" and "y," as in "time" and "by," are aktualy the 
difthong "ai," as it is writen in "aisle," and that the long 
"a" in "fate" is in reality the difthong "ei" as in "rein."  
Although perhaps not imediately aparent, the saving in taime
and efort wil be tremendous when we leiter elimineite the 
silent "e," as meide posible bai this last tsceinge.
  For, as is wel known, the horible mes of "e's" apearing in 
our writen language is kaused prinsipaly bai the present 
nesesity of indikeiting whether a vowel is long or short.  
Therefore, in 1951 we kould simply elimineit al silent "e's," 
and kontinu to read and wrait merily along as though we wer in 
an atomik eig of edukeition.
  In 1951 we would urg a greit step forward.  Since bai this 
taim it would hav ben four years sins anywum had usd the leter 
"c," we would sugest that "The National Easy Languag Wek" for 
1951 be devoted to substitutions of "c" for "th."  To be sur 
it would be some taim befor peopl would bekom akustomd to 
reading ceir newspapers and buks wic sutsh sentenses in cem as 
"Ceodor caught he had cre cousand cistls crust crough ce cik 
of his cumb."
  In ce seim manr, bai meiking eatsh leter hav its own sound 
and cat sound only, we kould shorten ce language stil mor.  In 
1952 we would elimineit ce "y"; cen in 1953 we kould us ce 
leter to indikeit ce "sh" sound, cerbai klarifaiing words laid 
yugar and yur, as wel as redusing bai wun more leter al words 
laik "yut," "yore," and so forc. Cink, cen, of al ce benefits 
to be geind bai ce distinktion which wil cen be meid between 
words laik:
    ocean    now writen oyean
    machine   "     "   mayin
    racial    "     "   reiyial
  Al sutsh divers weis of wraiting wun sound would no longer 
exist, and whenever wun kaim akros a "y" sound he would know 
exaktli what to wrait.
  Kontinuing cis proses, year after year, we would eventuali 
hav a reali sensibl writen langug.  By 1975, wi ventyur to 
sei, cer wud bi no mor uv ces terribli trublsum difikultis, 
wic no tu leters usd to indikeit ce seim nois, and laikwais no 
tu noises riten wic ce seim leter.  Even Mr. Yaw, wi beliv, 
wud be hapi in ce noleg cat his drims fainali keim tru.
                   <end>

-- 
Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights
reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated.
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