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Subject: {ASSM} You Whore (F/M+, cheat) ~ by DrSpin (NEW to ASSM)
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You Whore (F/M+, cheat)
by Neil Anthony aka DrSpin
---------------------------------------------------------
* This story is published here by kind permission of Ruthie's
Club, where it appeared illustrated by Ladyneko
under an exclusivity period for six months. Ruthie's Club
(http://www.ruthiesclub.com) carries about 50 more of my new
stories.
* The author welcomes comments and opinions from readers
and is invariably motivated to respond. Write to:
neilanthony@austarnet.com.au
* DrSpin's Standard Disclaimer:
I write and you read, if you care to. That's all there is
to it. Any reader who is offended should not have been here
in the first place.
---------------------------------------------------------
The long, cold night would soon be day. He sat on the broad
ledge of the bay window, a blanket across his shoulders,
looking at the tree close by, the one with no leaves, the
one they had planted together so it would grow to fill their
bedroom window.
"You whore," he whispered.
He had said it so many times during the long, cold night that
he was now saying it out of habit, without inflection, accent,
or intent.
He said it again. "You whore."
Eleven years of blood, sweat, and tears.
They had married young and worked hard, taking risks you can
only be take when you don't know enough about life to be
scared by it. He'd worked at two jobs, all day and half the
night, and she also worked until she was carrying their first
child. More risks, and second mortgages, and then his own
truck maintenance business with its impossible demands and
long hours. A second child, and finally some time to enjoy
the rewards. He could play in a social softball league on
Sunday mornings. She could return to the choral singing where
he first met her when she was sixteen and he seventeen. She
could take up a part-time job at the craft centre, not because
they needed the money, but for the pleasure of it.
Eleven years, and their second child long dead and buried,
lost to a savage viral infection that snuffed him out in just
three days. Maybe it was then that their partnership showed
the cracks in the concrete. You wonder why you try when a
three-year-old leaves you without warning or justification.
His mouth shaped the words but no sound emerged. You whore.
He nursed the fear for two days before he put the accusation
to her. "One of the trucks broke down on Thursday," he said,
no longer able to hold it back. They were getting ready for
bed. "I had to go into town to fetch it. I saw you in the
street. You were holding hands with a man I don't know."
A woman and a man can be friends, even best buddies. But a
woman and man who hold hands are intimate. They are lovers.
She did not answer. She sat down at her dressing table, looked
at herself in the mirror, and started brushing her hair. He
could not remember when she last brushed her hair at that
mirror. She used to do it every night, when her hair was long,
but that was years ago.
He got into bed, their bed, propped himself on two pillows,
and waited. The charge gained weight through silence.
"That was Derek," she said eventually, brushing her hair.
"He's a very talented sculptor."
"That wasn't the question," he said.
"Was there a question?"
He sighed, revealing his hurt and distress in a rush of
breath. "Ah, Caroline."
"Oh hell," she said quietly, a tremor in her voice. "Do I have
to do this? Are you really sure you want to know?"
It would take a stronger and better man than he was not to
want to know.
"I have to know," he said, already knowing more than he
wanted.
So, it was so. Caroline and this man, Derek, this sculptor. Oh
Caroline, you whore.
"I am having an affair with Derek," she said.
She had put down the brush and was looking at her reflection,
which he could not see from his angle. All he could see was
her back straight, her shoulders set, and her hair shining.
"Yes, I thought perhaps you were," he said.
The silence in the room was absolute. They sat still, both,
and barely breathed.
"For how long?" he asked.
"Around six weeks."
"When will it end?"
"I hadn't thought about that."
He measured each word she said and chose his questions
carefully.
"How long have you been fucking him?"
"Around six weeks."
"So it's a fucking affair, I take it, not a fucking love
affair?"
"I guess it must be," she said stiffly, with a brief flash of
anger.
"So he's a good fuck, then, this Derek?" he asked instantly,
matching her anger.
No response.
"Caroline?"
"I'm not going to answer questions like that," she said.
"I see," he said. "So he's that good, eh?"
No response.
"You whore, Caroline."
No response.
"You whore." He said it again, but for his own benefit, so he
could hear properly how it sounded, and wonder at the
implications of it. His wife, fucking another man. Six weeks
of it. How many times? Too many to count, too many to
remember, too many to be relevant.
His wife. They had been through so much together, and she had
betrayed him. Another man had held her, kissed her, removed
her clothes, taken her to himself, totally, all of her, a man
who had done none of the work, shed none of the tears,
invested nothing but his cock and his hard eyes.
Eleven years, and it had come to this. Wait. Eleven years was
a long time.
"Have there been others, Caroline?"
No response.
"Oh, you whore," he said.
She got up from the stool in front of the mirror and walked
slowly to the bed. She stood beside it, looking down at him.
She had a tight, slight smile on her face, lopsidedly
apologetic.
"Poor baby," she said, sounding like she meant it.
That rocked him hard.
"How many?" he croaked.
She shrugged. "Does more than one matter?"
"It matters."
"Six. No, counting Derek, seven."
"You filthy, rotten whore."
He studied her critically, spitefully. He hadn't studied her
for a long time. She was Caroline, always there, always
Caroline, his virgin bride. She was not long turned twenty-
nine, tall and upright, with that long torso and those heavy,
overstated, exaggerated breasts. She stood by their bed in her
silver nightgown, breasts hanging low and deep. She didn't
have the figure she once had. Children, grief, and age had
taken toll and brought her a heavier gravity. She still had a
teenage girl's face. But a whore's face.
"Allan, I'm tired," she said. "Will you allow me to get into
bed? Are you going to be trouble?"
"You can get into bed," he said. "But first you can lose that
gown. I want to see what your seven lovers have done to you."
The lopsided smile returned, and there was amusement in her
eyes as she slipped the straps over her shoulders. The silver
gown collapsed to the floor.
Yes, her breasts were slung lower these days, no longer
pointing horizontally. Had they got bigger? They looked
bigger. Slightly bandy and shortish legs, hips broad,
pubic hair dark and vigorous. Her stomach was more rounded
than he remembered. She was stacking on the weight there, and
on her hips. She'd never been truly slim. She had bidden
farewell to youth, but -- with her small childish face and her
big womanly body -- she was a female most men would want to
fuck. She had the look about her that said she knew it, and
that she would fuck any man who wanted her. Why was it only
now he was seeing it so clearly?
"What do you see?" she asked, secure in her sexuality and in
the certain knowledge that men still wanted her.
"I see a whore," he said.
She slipped under the bed sheets and instantly sought his hard
cock. "Ha-ha, but tonight you want me," she said, and she
could not keep a note of triumph from her voice. "You never
want me much, but tonight you do."
Damn her for knowing that, he thought.
Yes, his Caroline, the girl he married, would not know that.
This Caroline was another woman. This Caroline had lovers she
fucked in the heat of the afternoon. He wanted suddenly to
fuck this slutty Caroline. It had been a long time since he'd
wanted to fuck the other one.
Quickly he rolled over on her. She spread her legs
accommodatingly, wearing her lopsided smile. He pushed into
her immediately and stabbed at her rapidly. It was over in a
few seconds. He lost the plot, never really had it.
He lay beside her, feeling worse than before. Now he could be
measured against another man. He'd never needed to think about
that.
"Sorry," he said.
"Par for the course," she said.
"I guess he's better than me," he said, and wished he hadn't.
"Allan, they were all better than you," she said.
That stung. Christ. That stung like a face full of acid.
"They were all better because they wanted me," she said. "You
haven't wanted me for years. I'm not positive you ever really
wanted me at all."
No, he wanted to say. That could not be true. Could that be
true?
"Don't go to sleep," he said. "I won't let you sleep, because
I need to hear the story about you and your lovers."
She groaned and rolled away from him. "Not tonight, Allan. I'm
exhausted. I can't cope with this."
"Tonight," he insisted. "Now. You owe me for breaking my
heart."
"You disguise it well," she said.
"Tell me about this Derek," he said doggedly. "Where did you
meet him? What happened? I have to know."
"Derek occasionally sells his work through the craft centre,"
she said. "I admired his work. We got talking. He asked me to
pose for him."
"To pose?"
"My breasts," she said. "He wanted to make my breasts." She
laughed derisively. "They all want to make my breasts, one way
or another. That's how it always happens."
"You posed for him? Just like that? You met, you talked, he
asked you to pose, and you agreed? Just like that?"
"Pretty much. He said he wanted a model with a figure like a
woman. So I said I would do it."
"You posed naked for him?"
"Not at first. At first, topless. It was my breasts he
wanted."
"When did you know he wanted to fuck you?"
"Oh, I always knew," she said.
"So you always knew, from the first moment, that you would
fuck him?"
She sighed condescendingly. She could do that. She'd had seven
lovers and he'd only ever had her. "Yes, Allan. That's the way
these things happen."
"You whore."
"Anyway, so that's how it happened. Can I go to sleep now?"
"Sleep? No. You've barely started. Did you fuck him that first
time? Did he even bother to make a sculpture thing of you?"
"Yes, there's a sculpture. It's on display at the craft
centre. It's a sculpture of my breasts."
"Really?" He found this amazing. "Does anyone know it's you?"
"Well, I haven't talked about it," she said. "But the work
does have a title. It's called Caroline."
She rolled over and looked at him, taking her amusement from
the look on his face. "Poor baby," she said. "All the things
he doesn't know. Yes, Derek fucked me that first time."
"You couldn't wait."
"I couldn't wait."
"You loved it."
"I loved it."
"You whore."
He was surprised to find himself short of breath, and tight
across the chest. "Until tonight I didn't know how much you
hated me," he said.
"No, Allan. I don't hate you. But you don't bring me joy. I
look at you and I see pain, I see grief, I see loss."
"Billy," he said.
"Billy," she said.
"It's been a long time since I said his name out loud."
"You look like Billy," she said. "He would have grown up
looking just like you."
"Billy's dead," he said savagely. "Derek is not. We're talking
about Derek."
"Derek's dead, too," she said. "Derek is over."
He turned his head and looked at her in surprise.
"I can't go on fucking Derek now that you know about it," she
said.
"You decided this out of consideration for me?"
"Out of consideration for me. It's not fun if you know."
"Your lovers have been fun?"
"Oh, God, yes."
"Cheating on me has been fun?"
"Excellent fun."
"Why, Caroline? Is it because you think I deserve it?"
"Poor baby," she said.
"You started this after Billy died, right?"
"Right."
"Who was first?"
"You want names, Allan? You want to be hurt that much?"
"I want everything."
"You'll be hurt, I warn you. You'll be badly hurt. It'll be
better for you not to know."
"Caroline, I have to know."
She slipped out of bed, put on her nightgown, and started
walking aimlessly around the room, gathering the threads of
recollection. She'd thrown off her tiredness and appeared up,
jaunty and animated, happy to be telling her story, eager to
lay out her infidelities like a carpet salesman unfurling his
wares.
"The first was Danny Holt," she said.
His shoulders slumped, as if he'd been hit on the head like
abattoir kill. No. Danny Holt was one of his closest friends.
Was, and still was. They'd had a quick hamburger lunch
together three days ago and talked about engine transmissions.
"Danny always wanted me," she said. "From the day we met he
never stopped asking, and one day I let it happen." She looked
at him propped up on his pillows. "We fucked in that bed."
"In our bed? Oh, Caroline, you whore."
A series of quick images gnawed at him. Danny and Caroline
grappling on the bed. Caroline, big breasts tumbling, shouting
with pleasure, hands gripping at Danny's broad shoulders.
"We crazy-fucked for three days and two nights," she said.
"You were away at that business course. It was like a dam
bursting in me. Never knew anything like it."
He was good at calendars, dates, organisation, schedule. She
wasn't.
"I only ever went away on one course, Caroline. It was well
before Billy died."
"Was it?"
"It was."
"Oh, well, then. So I lied about when I started."
"What else are you lying about?"
"Shall I tell you, Allan? Shall I tell you the biggest lie,
the doozy, the biggest hurt, the cruellest cut of all?"
Her eyes were bright, intense. She was in a state of near
rapture. He said nothing and waited. Whatever he said, she
would tell him anyway.
"You were the only virgin on our wedding night," she said.
"You wanted so much for it to be that way. I faked it, cheated
you, and it was easy because you knew nothing."
She resumed her pacing, rubbing her hands together in nervous
energy. "I fucked Garry Swann before we got married. I
couldn't stop him. I didn't want to stop him."
He remembered Garry Swann, vaguely. He was a mechanic, a bit
older. He wasn't at the wedding.
"We were sweethearts but you were always sweeter than I was,"
she said. "I would have gone all the way with you plenty of
times but you always stopped. You wanted to wait to be
married. I went out with Garry Swann one night, secretly. I
knew he wanted to fuck me. He had been telling me that for
ages. Gary Swann fucked me that night in the long grass in the
park down the road. I fucked him four more times, the last
time in the week we got married."
She stopped and fixed her gaze on him. "So you can bump up the
list of my lovers to eight," she said. "Garry Swann was the
first time I betrayed you. Danny Holt was the next. Danny
wanted me but he was full of guilt afterwards, after that
crazy weekend. That's all there was with Danny. It never
happened again."
The hurt had run together for him in a molten flow of lava. He
couldn't believe there was so much she still had to tell him.
Three lovers down, five to go.
"The rest of them happened after Billy," she said. "That's
true. No lies. No more lies. I'll tell you everything."
"You are enjoying it too much not to tell me everything," he
observed bitterly.
"That's true," she said. "This is the most fun I've had with
you in years."
There was malice in her glee, and glee in her malice. She
needed to hurt him because of Billy. Sure, he could see that,
even understand it. But it went further. There was more to her
than that.
"One more thing about Garry Swann," she said. "I never fucked
him after we were married, but I did see him. Just once. He
made me do something I never forgot. I think about it now and
I shiver."
She sidled up to the bed conspiratorially. "You want to know
what happened? It was just after we got back from that awful
little honeymoon. We'd been married about two weeks."
He didn't bother to answer her.
"He called me on the telephone and asked me to go to his work
and see him. I did. He took me into a tool room and locked the
door. He told me to take off all my clothes. I did."
Her eyes were looking over his head, looking far away,
remembering.
"I thought he was going to fuck me. I would have let him, too.
I could never help myself with Garry Swann. He was such an
animal."
She had a hand smoothing over one breast caressingly, and he
wasn't sure she knew she was doing it in front of him. Maybe
she did. He could see the nipple pushing out the cloth of the
gown.
"He made me kneel down on the concrete floor in front of him.
He unzipped and pulled out his floppy big cock. Garry Swann
had the biggest cock of all my lovers. Jim O'Brien had a
pretty big one but not as big as Garry Swann."
Jim O'Brien. Another man he knew well and thought he liked.
Christ, that hurt.
"You know what he did? I was kneeling on that filthy concrete
floor, naked, and he pissed on me. Urinated. All over me. My
face, my body, my hair, everywhere."
She had a grim smile on her face, remembering.
"That's for getting married, he said to me. Then he told me to
get dressed and go home to cook your dinner."
The hand was stroking at her breast, curving up and over.
"I've never been more disgusted in my whole life. Also,
because tonight I'm telling the truth, never more excited. I
went home and sat in the shower stall to get clean, and I
frigged myself near to death."
She sighed and turned away, resuming her pacing.
"Poor baby," she said. "You don't know these things about me.
You've never even come near to guessing. Some men seem to know
straight away. They look at me and they see right inside to
the dark corners and crevices. I would have died and gone to
heaven happy if all my lovers had pissed on me like Garry
Swann, but they never did and I was never brave enough to ask.
I wonder what happened to Garry Swann? Maybe I should try to
look him up."
"You whore," he said, but so softly she wouldn't have heard.
"Let's face it, Allan. Sex between you and me has never been
all that hot. Most of the instigation has come from me, right
from the outset. Jesus, that honeymoon. It was like fetching
water from a dry well. I could have taught you things but I
had to act like a virgin. If I'd started out teaching, you
would have known I learned it somewhere. And I did. I learned
it from Garry Swann."
Had it been that bad? His memories of that time were all
sweet. Awkward, admittedly, but sweet.
"I suppose you must have initiated sex with me some time or
other," she mused. "But I just can't remember it."
"We've reached the end of Danny Holt," he reminded her.
"Yes, yes, Danny Holt," she said. "Lots of go in Danny but too
much guilt. He's still guilty, all these years later. He
practically faints every time I talk to him. The next after
Danny was that guy with the funny name, Oswald. I never knew
his last name."
He was sure he'd never known an Oswald.
"Yes, Oswald," she said, anticipating him. "He did all the
paving out the back."
Oh, yeah. That sullen, Neanderthal brute. Took ages to do that
job. Now he knew why.
"Oswald picked me right away," she said. "He practised rape
with his eyes. I tried to avoid him, but he cornered me in the
kitchen. He grabbed me and I was scared. But once he had my
breasts out in the open air he was no trouble at all. Oswald
was totally obsessed with my breasts. When it was just him and
me in the house I had to go topless. Oswald showed me tit
fucking. You know about tit fucking, Allan? It's messy and a
bit weird, but Oswald swore by it. He said I was the tit-fuck
queen of the universe."
"Only a whore would take that as a compliment," he said. "I've
heard more than enough about this cretin. Who next?"
"Next was Peter McKinney."
Good Christ. McKinney was their neighbour. He had to be
getting close to fifty.
"You remember when his wife left him?" she asked. "Peter was
devastated. It was more or less a mercy fuck when I first went
to bed with him."
"Jesus, Caroline, you're not only a whore, you're a stupid
whore. That was McKinney's second wife. He's now got a third."
"Yes, well, between wife two and wife three he was really
broken up. You feel sorry for a man, you comfort him, and then
you suddenly find yourself sleeping with him. You have to
sleep with a man who cries. It's the only way to stop him."
"I can't believe how corny and seedy this is," he muttered.
"You can believe it, all right," she said. "I fucked Peter for
nearly a year, on and off. It was an occasional thing. Nothing
dramatic. He was quite a good lover, though. Very patient and
considerate. He knows a lot about women and what they like. I
spent a lot of hours in Peter's bed and never regretted a
minute."
"Caroline, you don't regret anything, do you? Have you no
guilt at all?"
"No," she said. "Not really. I guess I'm just lucky like
that."
"Who next?"
"After Peter but also at the same time was Jim O'Brien."
"I like Jim," he said. "I think I like him better than I like
you. I always thought of Jim as my friend."
"Oh, Jim's all right," she said dismissively. "He's still your
friend. He only fucked me once, and that was because I jumped
him. It was at a party at Danny Holt's place. You were there
with me. I was dancing with Jim and this big hard thing was
poking me in the stomach. I asked him how big it was and he
said I should find out. He got the shock of his life when I
took his hand and pulled him out into the garden. Poor Jim
didn't stand a chance. He fucked me against the wall of Danny
Holt's potting shed."
"That's nice," he said bitterly. "Good old Jim, who didn't
know the gun was loaded. Well, that's okay, then. Yes, good
old Jim, my friend. Well, we'll see about that."
"Then there was Grady Smith."
"Who is Grady Smith?" he asked. "I never heard of him."
"I met him at the supermarket. Just bumped into him. We got
talking. Grady was a great looking guy, very smooth, very
charming, a real womaniser. He could talk a woman's pants off
just like that. He was the sort of man who can make a woman
feel warm and fuzzy, vaguely silly, and completely helpless."
"When did you sleep with him?"
"Oh, hell, right away. I went back to his place with him
straight from the supermarket. I was hooked on the first cast.
Oh, hell, yes. Grady had my knickers off in a flash. If he'd
wanted to fuck me in the car park I'm sure I would have."
He shook his head. "You whore."
"Grady was not so good in bed," she said. "It took a while to
realise that, because he bowled a girl over with his charm.
But there's only so often you can be charmed before you start
looking at performance, and Grady couldn't live up to his
looks and his manners. In fact he was a bit of a dud, dear
sweet Grady, but I fucked him for six months before I said so
long, goodbye. Of course, by then I was fucking Terry Cooper,
and he was damn good at it."
"Cooper. I've met Cooper. Isn't he at the craft centre?"
"He's the boss, Allan. How do you think I got the job so
easily?"
"So you were fucking Cooper before you started at the craft
centre?"
"It was simultaneous. I went for the job interview and we went
to lunch and then we wound up in bed."
"You fucked him to get the job? Jesus, you really are a
whore."
"Not exactly. I got drunk and horny and he got drunk and
horny. But it certainly clinched the interview."
"I'm remembering Cooper," he sneered. "He's an old fart with a
bald head, a grey beard, and a thick waist. Not exactly Brad
Pitt, is he?"
"But he's a horny old fart," she said. "Golly gee, the number
of times in those first few weeks I got bent over his desk and
roundly rogered."
"You disgust me, you whore."
"It was quite dirty," she agreed cheerfully.
"You fuck him to keep your job."
"Only occasionally now. He's not around the centre so much
since he took over the administration of the council gallery."
"And finally there's Derek, the oh-so-talented sculptor," he
said.
"Yes, Derek. I'll go see Derek on Monday and tell him it's
over. Pity. Derek is good, the second best ever. Garry Swann
was the best, and there'll never be another Garry Swann."
"You can bet your falling udders on that, dear," he said.
"Only the middle-aged and the desperate for you now."
She met his eyes with a flinty gaze. "Oh, I don't know about
that," she said. "Who knows who will turn up next?"
"So that's all? No more? That's the full list? None you
haven't told me about?"
"That's all. Well, that's all in terms of fucking. I mean, if
you want to include kissing, necking, groping, stinky fingers,
and the odd quick blowjob, it's a bigger list than that."
"You whore."
"You want me to tell you who got blowjobs? Some of them you
know."
"No, thanks. I've heard enough."
"Sure about that? I mean, there's Tom Porter, Barry Whittaker,
Bob Kendrick -- you said you wanted details."
"Stop, Caroline. Enough."
"Well, what about guys who've played with my tits? Now that's
a long list, going right back. We can go back to high school
for that."
"No. I'll pass."
"Poor baby. You've been one hundred per cent faithful, haven't
you? Not even a peck on the cheek in a dark room."
He didn't answer.
"Poor baby," she said. "What will you do now?"
It had been coming together in his mind as she told her tale
of betrayal.
"My first thought was to strangle you and bury your body in
the swamp," he said. "But it's too obvious. I'd get caught,
eventually, and I don't plan to spend the rest of my life in
prison.
"I've decided I will do nothing. You will go on as you are
because that's what you are and what you've always been, I now
discover. I will move into another bedroom. I don't want you,
Caroline. I don't want your floppy tits and your well-
travelled cunt. You disgust me and I don't want to be in your
bed.
"We should stay together, though, and extend the farce at
least until Jennifer grows up and leaves home. She's our
child. We owe her that much.
"You can do what you like, Caroline. I can't stop you. I won't
ask and don't tell me. I don't want to know any more. I've
heard enough to last me a lifetime.
"I'm not interested in revenge, but I'll get it inevitably.
You're getting older, Caroline. You're rushing up on thirty,
and those honeypot big tits are on their way down to the
bottom of your belly. You'll still get your men, but they
won't be smooth or charming any more. You'll be another
desperate and panicky old boiler, well past your use-by date.
You'll look exactly like the tattered, worn-out slut you
really are."
The lopsided rueful smile was back on her face. "Is that it?"
she asked. "Eleven years of cheating, and that's all there is?
It's the best you can do?" She laughed out loud. "Garry Swann
warned me you were a wimp. I should have listened to him."
She stretched her arms, pulling her breasts up. "Can I come to
bed now? I'm really tired. I want to go to sleep."
He rolled off the bed, snatched up a blanket, and went to sit
on the wide sill of the bay window. "Turn the light out,
Caroline," he said. "That bed has had too many visitors for my
taste. From now on, it's all yours."
He waited at the window for the dawn. Caroline slept, or she
appeared to. She'd never had trouble sleeping. She seemed to
carry no guilt.
In a couple of hours he'd make a telephone call. The stories
of the long, cold night had brought into sharp focus some
issues that had been too fuzzy and frightening for too long.
Caroline had done that much for him. She'd forced him to the
truth.
He'd ring George and tell him he was coming over to spend the
Sunday with him. They'd head off to softball together and he
wouldn't come home. Maybe he'd stay away Sunday night, too.
Let it fall where it may.
He'd resisted George's advances, but only because he was
scared and confused. No longer. It was time to come out.
ENDS
Edited by Ruthie and Nat.
* The author welcomes comments and opinions from readers
and is invariably motivated to respond. Write to:
neilanthony@austarnet.com.au
--
Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights
reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated.
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